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1
00:00:02,937 --> 00:00:06,705
Kate, this lasagna
looks really great!
2
00:00:06,707 --> 00:00:10,075
Very well worth
the interminable wait.
3
00:00:11,645 --> 00:00:14,913
I asked you twice
to stop doing that.
4
00:00:14,915 --> 00:00:18,550
What? We're just having
a pre-dinner chat.
5
00:00:20,121 --> 00:00:21,320
You know what I mean.
6
00:00:21,322 --> 00:00:24,623
Rhyming everything I say.
7
00:00:24,625 --> 00:00:28,961
No problem, Willie,
have it your way.
8
00:00:28,963 --> 00:00:30,295
Kate!
9
00:00:30,297 --> 00:00:32,131
Kate, he's doing it again.
10
00:00:32,133 --> 00:00:33,432
What?
11
00:00:33,434 --> 00:00:36,335
He's rhyming the last word
of everything I say.
12
00:00:36,337 --> 00:00:37,403
Go ahead, ALF.
13
00:00:37,405 --> 00:00:39,238
He's been doing it all day.
14
00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:40,773
Now, he's got me doing it.
15
00:00:50,317 --> 00:00:52,184
[door opens]
16
00:00:52,186 --> 00:00:53,685
What a creep.
17
00:00:53,687 --> 00:00:55,754
I never want to see him again.
18
00:00:57,224 --> 00:01:00,526
I guess Lynn and her boyfriend
had a fight.
19
00:01:00,528 --> 00:01:03,062
We should go see
if she's alright.
20
00:01:03,064 --> 00:01:06,932
Oh, sure, when Kate makes
a rhyme it's no big deal.
21
00:01:08,569 --> 00:01:11,570
Just for that,
I'm eating your meal.
22
00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:15,240
[theme music]
23
00:01:45,272 --> 00:01:47,272
[music continues]
24
00:02:15,569 --> 00:02:17,035
Okay, dad, your turn.
25
00:02:17,037 --> 00:02:18,070
Okay..
26
00:02:22,109 --> 00:02:23,742
Science or sports?
27
00:02:23,744 --> 00:02:26,044
He'll take science.
28
00:02:26,046 --> 00:02:26,945
Do you mind?
29
00:02:26,947 --> 00:02:29,681
I can pick my own category.
30
00:02:29,683 --> 00:02:31,917
Who won the Super Bowl
last year?
31
00:02:34,722 --> 00:02:36,288
I'll take science.
32
00:02:37,925 --> 00:02:40,792
What is the primary element
of the planet Jupiter?
33
00:02:40,794 --> 00:02:42,561
Oh, it's easy. Hydrogen.
34
00:02:42,563 --> 00:02:43,762
Eh! You're wrong!
35
00:02:43,764 --> 00:02:45,197
It's buttermilk.
36
00:02:47,434 --> 00:02:49,234
Willie's right.
37
00:02:49,236 --> 00:02:50,736
It's hydrogen.
38
00:02:50,738 --> 00:02:53,338
Then why do they call it
the Dairy Planet?
39
00:02:54,475 --> 00:02:56,542
Who calls it the Dairy Planet?
40
00:02:56,544 --> 00:02:57,743
Jupitonians.
41
00:02:57,745 --> 00:03:00,078
It's on their license plates.
42
00:03:01,682 --> 00:03:03,382
Mom, it's your turn.
43
00:03:03,384 --> 00:03:05,784
Okay.
44
00:03:05,786 --> 00:03:07,052
Entertainment.
45
00:03:07,054 --> 00:03:10,289
Okay, uh,
what singing phenomenon--
46
00:03:10,291 --> 00:03:12,824
Eh! Florence Henderson.
47
00:03:12,826 --> 00:03:15,093
ALF, it's not your turn.
48
00:03:15,095 --> 00:03:17,696
The answer's not
Florence Henderson.
49
00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:19,798
It's Shirley Jones.
50
00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:22,634
Oh, like there's
really a difference.
51
00:03:27,241 --> 00:03:28,407
Mail's here.
52
00:03:28,409 --> 00:03:30,342
Not that it matters.
53
00:03:30,344 --> 00:03:32,744
Oh, come and join us, honey.
54
00:03:32,746 --> 00:03:34,279
Take ALF's place.
55
00:03:36,684 --> 00:03:38,050
I don't really feel like it.
56
00:03:38,052 --> 00:03:41,520
I'll be in my room.
Not that it matters.
57
00:03:41,522 --> 00:03:44,823
Gee, what a downer.
58
00:03:44,825 --> 00:03:47,960
It's only been a week
since she broke up with L-Lloyd.
59
00:03:47,962 --> 00:03:52,364
I never understood,
why he pronounced both the Ls.
60
00:03:52,366 --> 00:03:56,134
Because he was a l-lox.
61
00:03:56,136 --> 00:03:59,571
You know, it takes a little time
to get over a break-up.
62
00:03:59,573 --> 00:04:00,839
I'm gonna go check on her.
63
00:04:00,841 --> 00:04:03,475
Well, see you l-later.
64
00:04:03,477 --> 00:04:06,311
ALF, there's
a book here for you.
65
00:04:06,313 --> 00:04:07,913
You ordered a book?
66
00:04:07,915 --> 00:04:09,348
Don't worry, Wilco.
67
00:04:09,350 --> 00:04:10,549
It was free.
68
00:04:10,551 --> 00:04:13,118
For joining
the Book-of-the-Month Club.
69
00:04:13,120 --> 00:04:15,687
You joined
the Book-of-the-Month Club?
70
00:04:15,689 --> 00:04:18,056
Well, technically, you did.
71
00:04:18,058 --> 00:04:21,727
Fortunately, they didn't
run a credit check.
72
00:04:21,729 --> 00:04:24,796
"Shelley Winters' Guide
to True Love?"
73
00:04:24,798 --> 00:04:26,365
We're sending it back.
74
00:04:26,367 --> 00:04:27,666
It's not for me.
75
00:04:27,668 --> 00:04:29,635
It's to help Lynn.
76
00:04:29,637 --> 00:04:32,371
Oh-ho. This'll be a great help.
77
00:04:32,373 --> 00:04:33,739
"Chapter One.
78
00:04:33,741 --> 00:04:36,408
Love is like a pizza."
79
00:04:36,410 --> 00:04:38,777
Brilliant!
80
00:04:38,779 --> 00:04:40,746
"Love is like a pizza.
81
00:04:40,748 --> 00:04:43,649
"Sometimes it's cold and flat
82
00:04:43,651 --> 00:04:46,618
"sometimes it's hot and gooey.
83
00:04:46,620 --> 00:04:49,454
"The secret is
to take it a slice at a time
84
00:04:49,456 --> 00:04:52,090
and hold the anchovies."
85
00:04:52,092 --> 00:04:54,359
ALF, I don't wanna
talk about love..
86
00:04:54,361 --> 00:04:56,395
...or pizza.
87
00:04:56,397 --> 00:04:57,763
Well, according to Shelley
88
00:04:57,765 --> 00:05:00,499
you're wallowing
in the muck of self-pity.
89
00:05:00,501 --> 00:05:01,700
She says you'll feel better
90
00:05:01,702 --> 00:05:04,403
if you confide
in a close friend.
91
00:05:04,405 --> 00:05:07,239
So come on, confide.
92
00:05:07,241 --> 00:05:08,507
Alright.
93
00:05:10,311 --> 00:05:12,611
L-Lloyd wants to go out
with other girls.
94
00:05:12,613 --> 00:05:15,714
Ugh. There's that name again.
95
00:05:15,716 --> 00:05:18,083
Do you want me
to confide or not?
96
00:05:18,085 --> 00:05:19,685
Sorry.
97
00:05:19,687 --> 00:05:21,286
L-Lloyd.
98
00:05:23,123 --> 00:05:25,457
We were so perfect
for each other.
99
00:05:25,459 --> 00:05:27,426
We were gonna get married
at the planetarium.
100
00:05:27,428 --> 00:05:30,329
He was even gonna
name a comet after me.
101
00:05:30,331 --> 00:05:32,531
What was he
gonna name it? L-Lynn?
102
00:05:35,102 --> 00:05:37,002
Last time, I promise.
103
00:05:38,238 --> 00:05:39,471
[knock on door]
104
00:05:39,473 --> 00:05:41,206
She wants to be alone!
105
00:05:41,208 --> 00:05:43,041
[door opens]
106
00:05:43,043 --> 00:05:44,242
I just dropped in
to say goodnight
107
00:05:44,244 --> 00:05:46,411
and see if you need anything.
108
00:05:46,413 --> 00:05:47,245
No thanks, mom.
109
00:05:47,247 --> 00:05:50,048
Frozen yogurt for me, thanks.
110
00:05:50,050 --> 00:05:51,783
ALF, I was asking Lynn.
111
00:05:51,785 --> 00:05:55,153
From that place at the mall,
if you're going that way.
112
00:05:58,425 --> 00:06:01,126
Drive carefully.
113
00:06:01,128 --> 00:06:03,995
I'll never love anyone again.
114
00:06:03,997 --> 00:06:08,100
Oh, sure.
Let's get back to your problem.
115
00:06:08,102 --> 00:06:11,136
ALF, you're the one
who wanted me to talk about it.
116
00:06:11,138 --> 00:06:12,738
Alright.
117
00:06:12,740 --> 00:06:16,575
Aren't there any other fellas
you'd like to date?
118
00:06:16,577 --> 00:06:18,510
Well..
119
00:06:18,512 --> 00:06:20,479
...there is this one guy..
120
00:06:20,481 --> 00:06:22,814
But that doesn't mean
he'd wanna go out with me.
121
00:06:22,816 --> 00:06:24,249
Well, who is it?
122
00:06:24,251 --> 00:06:26,218
His name is Danny Duckworth.
123
00:06:26,220 --> 00:06:28,520
He's on the baseball team.
124
00:06:28,522 --> 00:06:29,554
Let's see..
125
00:06:31,992 --> 00:06:34,059
Uh...here's his picture.
126
00:06:36,096 --> 00:06:38,397
The dork holding
the water bucket?
127
00:06:38,399 --> 00:06:40,332
No, no, no,
that's his cousin Donnie.
128
00:06:40,334 --> 00:06:43,735
See, Danny's the one
swinging the three bats.
129
00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:45,504
So call him up.
130
00:06:45,506 --> 00:06:48,707
I can't do that,
he'd know I like him.
131
00:06:48,709 --> 00:06:50,509
You don't want the boy you like
132
00:06:50,511 --> 00:06:52,544
to know you like him?
133
00:06:52,546 --> 00:06:55,013
- Right.
- Makes sense.
134
00:06:55,015 --> 00:06:56,481
You don't understand.
135
00:06:56,483 --> 00:06:57,749
Oh, I understand.
136
00:06:57,751 --> 00:07:01,019
Nobody on this planet
ever says what they mean.
137
00:07:01,021 --> 00:07:02,587
We say what we mean.
138
00:07:02,589 --> 00:07:05,090
As long as the other person
says it first.
139
00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:11,897
Shelley, Shelley,
it's up to you, babe.
140
00:07:11,899 --> 00:07:14,866
Come on. Don't let me down.
141
00:07:14,868 --> 00:07:17,302
Ah. "Chapter Two.
142
00:07:17,304 --> 00:07:18,837
"Take action.
143
00:07:18,839 --> 00:07:21,573
Ask a friend to fix you up."
144
00:07:21,575 --> 00:07:24,042
Well, there you have it.
145
00:07:27,481 --> 00:07:29,047
Yo, operator.
146
00:07:29,049 --> 00:07:31,683
Do you have a listing
for a Duckworth?
147
00:07:31,685 --> 00:07:33,885
[instrumental music]
148
00:07:37,925 --> 00:07:41,626
Why would he even try
making banana coffee?
149
00:07:41,628 --> 00:07:46,898
I don't think you even
want...to know.
150
00:07:49,303 --> 00:07:51,102
Hey, Willie,
when's the last time
151
00:07:51,104 --> 00:07:53,071
you changed
the blades in this razor?
152
00:07:53,073 --> 00:07:55,307
Oh, my-my razor is elec..
153
00:07:55,309 --> 00:07:57,309
[gasps]
154
00:07:59,646 --> 00:08:01,146
Why were you shaving?
155
00:08:01,148 --> 00:08:05,250
According to Shelley
women like clean-shaven men.
156
00:08:06,119 --> 00:08:07,953
Don't ever touch..
157
00:08:07,955 --> 00:08:11,189
...anything that
touches my face.
158
00:08:15,195 --> 00:08:17,963
(Lynn)
'ALF?'
159
00:08:17,965 --> 00:08:20,332
How could you do this to me?
160
00:08:20,334 --> 00:08:22,634
I couldn't find my own roll-on.
161
00:08:23,570 --> 00:08:24,703
Lynn, what's wrong?
162
00:08:24,705 --> 00:08:26,605
I have got a date to go bowling
163
00:08:26,607 --> 00:08:30,675
with Donnie Duckworth,
the geekiest guy in school
164
00:08:30,677 --> 00:08:33,011
thanks to my brother ALF.
165
00:08:33,013 --> 00:08:34,045
Your brother?
166
00:08:34,047 --> 00:08:35,180
That's what he told Donnie
167
00:08:35,182 --> 00:08:37,115
when he called him on the phone.
168
00:08:37,117 --> 00:08:38,183
You wanted me to.
169
00:08:38,185 --> 00:08:39,885
I did not want you to!
170
00:08:39,887 --> 00:08:42,087
Well, you said
you liked the guy.
171
00:08:42,089 --> 00:08:44,322
I said I liked Danny Duckworth.
172
00:08:44,324 --> 00:08:47,025
You called Donnie, his cousin.
173
00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:49,528
Danny, Donnie,
Florence, Shirley.
174
00:08:49,530 --> 00:08:51,730
I'm getting a headache!
175
00:08:51,732 --> 00:08:53,832
Think I'll go lie down.
176
00:08:53,834 --> 00:08:55,267
Well, hold it right there, bro.
177
00:08:55,269 --> 00:08:57,102
I think you have
one more phone call to make
178
00:08:57,104 --> 00:08:58,937
to get this thing
straightened out.
179
00:08:58,939 --> 00:09:01,172
It's too late, mom.
180
00:09:01,174 --> 00:09:03,141
Donnie has already bought us
181
00:09:03,143 --> 00:09:05,844
matching bowling shirts.
182
00:09:05,846 --> 00:09:07,612
That was my idea!
183
00:09:07,614 --> 00:09:09,714
I hope you like paisley.
184
00:09:12,085 --> 00:09:14,219
[instrumental music]
185
00:09:15,756 --> 00:09:17,489
Now, the secret to bowling
186
00:09:17,491 --> 00:09:22,093
or talequoits, as it's known
in the civilized universe
187
00:09:22,095 --> 00:09:23,995
is in the wrist action.
188
00:09:23,997 --> 00:09:27,098
And in the ripeness
of the melon.
189
00:09:30,037 --> 00:09:33,338
Ugh! We don't bowl
with cantaloupes.
190
00:09:33,340 --> 00:09:35,807
Then, what do you bowl with?
191
00:09:35,809 --> 00:09:38,076
Heavy plastic balls.
192
00:09:38,078 --> 00:09:40,111
You're kidding.
193
00:09:40,113 --> 00:09:42,747
Well, at least
it's something edible.
194
00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:43,982
[doorbell dings]
195
00:09:43,984 --> 00:09:46,318
Oh, great. Donnie's here.
196
00:09:46,320 --> 00:09:49,321
Now, remember,
according to Shelley
197
00:09:49,323 --> 00:09:53,592
dating is the best therapy
for a failed romance.
198
00:09:53,594 --> 00:09:57,128
That and chocolate.
199
00:09:57,130 --> 00:09:59,497
Hi, you must be
Donnie Duckworth.
200
00:09:59,499 --> 00:10:00,765
- Come on in.
- Thanks.
201
00:10:00,767 --> 00:10:01,800
But I'm Danny Duckworth
202
00:10:01,802 --> 00:10:03,835
I'm Donnie Duckworth's cousin.
203
00:10:03,837 --> 00:10:05,704
Oh, it's nice to meet you.
204
00:10:05,706 --> 00:10:07,672
Where's Donnie...Duckworth?
205
00:10:07,674 --> 00:10:09,608
Hm, Danny?
206
00:10:09,610 --> 00:10:11,743
Well, he got so nervous
about this date
207
00:10:11,745 --> 00:10:14,813
that he started
pukin' his guts out.
208
00:10:14,815 --> 00:10:16,414
Oh, that's not good.
209
00:10:16,416 --> 00:10:18,116
Yeah, he had a date
with a cheerleader once
210
00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:20,852
nearly coughed up his spleen.
211
00:10:20,854 --> 00:10:22,854
That's not good either.
212
00:10:22,856 --> 00:10:24,623
Uh, Lynn?
213
00:10:26,326 --> 00:10:29,728
Hi, I'm Mrs. Tanner,
you must be...Donnie Duckworth?
214
00:10:29,730 --> 00:10:31,730
No, no, I'm Danny Duckworth.
See, Donnie couldn't come--
215
00:10:31,732 --> 00:10:34,332
Uh, yeah, it involves
organ displacement, dear.
216
00:10:34,334 --> 00:10:36,468
I'll-I'll fill you in later.
217
00:10:36,470 --> 00:10:39,371
You know, I hope it's okay
with Lynn that I came instead.
218
00:10:39,373 --> 00:10:40,839
- Oh.
- Oh, I'm sure she won't mind.
219
00:10:40,841 --> 00:10:43,475
Oh, good.
220
00:10:43,477 --> 00:10:45,877
Danny Duckworth.
221
00:10:45,879 --> 00:10:47,612
Hiya, Lynn.
222
00:10:47,614 --> 00:10:49,914
Donnie's sick,
so I-I just came instead.
223
00:10:49,916 --> 00:10:50,949
I hope that's okay.
224
00:10:50,951 --> 00:10:52,884
Are you kidding?
225
00:10:52,886 --> 00:10:55,453
I mean, I-I guess so.
226
00:10:55,455 --> 00:10:57,155
He gave us these
bowling shirts
227
00:10:57,157 --> 00:10:58,790
but I-I don't
really like bowling.
228
00:10:58,792 --> 00:11:00,759
So I thought maybe
we'd go to a drive-in.
229
00:11:00,761 --> 00:11:01,793
Is that okay too?
230
00:11:01,795 --> 00:11:04,295
That's fantastic!
231
00:11:04,297 --> 00:11:07,465
I mean...that's fine.
232
00:11:07,467 --> 00:11:10,769
The only snag is, uh,
I don't have a car.
233
00:11:10,771 --> 00:11:11,970
What happened to your van?
234
00:11:11,972 --> 00:11:14,873
Oh, that's where Donnie vomited.
235
00:11:14,875 --> 00:11:16,408
That's not good.
236
00:11:21,982 --> 00:11:24,282
¶ Ay oh whey oh ¶
237
00:11:24,284 --> 00:11:28,053
¶ Ay oh whey oh ¶
238
00:11:28,055 --> 00:11:32,657
¶ Walk like an Egyptian ¶¶
239
00:11:32,659 --> 00:11:35,760
(Lynn)
'Bye! Thanks for letting us
use the car.'
240
00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:39,864
Hide like an Egyptian.
241
00:11:39,866 --> 00:11:41,800
Well, this is it.
242
00:11:41,802 --> 00:11:43,635
Uh, can I drive?
243
00:11:43,637 --> 00:11:46,137
- I think I'd better drive.
- Oh, okay.
244
00:11:46,139 --> 00:11:48,173
But when we get there,
can we just change places
245
00:11:48,175 --> 00:11:50,141
in case we see anybody we know?
246
00:11:50,143 --> 00:11:53,044
- Sure.
- Thanks.
247
00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:54,546
Oh, great, we're going bowling
248
00:11:54,548 --> 00:11:56,481
and I don't even
have a cantaloupe.
249
00:11:58,985 --> 00:12:01,186
[instrumental music]
250
00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:08,793
You know, I'm sorry
about this movie
251
00:12:08,795 --> 00:12:10,962
it was supposed
to be "Moonstruck," you know.
252
00:12:10,964 --> 00:12:12,731
Oh, that's okay.
253
00:12:12,733 --> 00:12:16,167
I've been dying
to see "Death Wish 11."
254
00:12:18,905 --> 00:12:20,638
Do-do you want some popcorn or..
255
00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:22,607
Oh, not right now.
256
00:12:22,609 --> 00:12:25,143
Thanks.
257
00:12:25,145 --> 00:12:28,079
(Danny)
'Nachos? How about some nachos?'
258
00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:29,514
(Lynn)
'No, thanks.'
259
00:12:34,554 --> 00:12:36,554
[clicking]
260
00:12:40,627 --> 00:12:41,926
[gunfire]
261
00:12:41,928 --> 00:12:44,562
[screams]
What, it-it's just
a flesh wound.
262
00:12:44,564 --> 00:12:46,264
Hey, I thought that
you wanted to be a doctor.
263
00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:49,100
I do, but right now
I-I want some popcorn.
264
00:12:49,102 --> 00:12:50,268
Would you mind,
I just, I suddenly got
265
00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:52,403
this uncontrollable urge
for popcorn.
266
00:12:52,405 --> 00:12:54,239
Oh, sure. Sure.
267
00:12:58,211 --> 00:13:00,578
Do you want the $8 size
or-or the 12?
268
00:13:00,580 --> 00:13:02,881
- You decide.
- Okay.
269
00:13:08,955 --> 00:13:10,488
Hi.
270
00:13:10,490 --> 00:13:13,024
What are you doing in this car?
271
00:13:13,026 --> 00:13:15,026
Missing "Designing Women."
272
00:13:15,028 --> 00:13:17,262
And for what?
273
00:13:17,264 --> 00:13:18,897
What if Danny sees you?
274
00:13:18,899 --> 00:13:20,331
Hey, I'm trapped here
275
00:13:20,333 --> 00:13:23,201
so let's just make
the best of it, okay?
276
00:13:23,203 --> 00:13:25,436
You are gonna ruin everything.
277
00:13:25,438 --> 00:13:26,938
What's to ruin?
278
00:13:26,940 --> 00:13:28,339
We're sitting in a parking lot
279
00:13:28,341 --> 00:13:30,809
listening to a movie.
280
00:13:30,811 --> 00:13:31,643
This is a drive-in.
281
00:13:31,645 --> 00:13:33,044
It's just like
a regular movie
282
00:13:33,046 --> 00:13:36,414
except you stay in your car.
283
00:13:36,416 --> 00:13:39,184
Well, at least I can order food.
284
00:13:39,186 --> 00:13:42,954
Yo, Jack! I'll have a burger
and some fries.
285
00:13:42,956 --> 00:13:44,722
That speaker is for the movie.
286
00:13:44,724 --> 00:13:47,592
Oh, hey, can you roll
"Animal House"
287
00:13:47,594 --> 00:13:49,861
for the blue station wagon?
288
00:13:49,863 --> 00:13:52,597
Get down, Danny's gonna
be back any minute.
289
00:13:52,599 --> 00:13:56,501
Well, then you might wanna
take a look at chapter nine.
290
00:13:56,503 --> 00:13:58,837
"Laying the trap."
291
00:13:58,839 --> 00:14:02,640
I don't need your help,
or Shelley's.
292
00:14:02,642 --> 00:14:05,643
Do I have to remind you
what you'd be doing tonight
293
00:14:05,645 --> 00:14:08,613
if it weren't for our help?
294
00:14:08,615 --> 00:14:09,514
What?
295
00:14:09,516 --> 00:14:11,616
Do the words, "Go fish, Brian"
296
00:14:11,618 --> 00:14:12,750
ring a bell?
297
00:14:13,820 --> 00:14:15,820
[instrumental music]
298
00:14:17,557 --> 00:14:20,992
Why is Lucky's water dish
in the microwave?
299
00:14:20,994 --> 00:14:22,527
ALF!
300
00:14:22,529 --> 00:14:24,963
I already looked for ALF.
I can't find him anywhere.
301
00:14:24,965 --> 00:14:28,299
Well, did you check
under our bed?
302
00:14:28,301 --> 00:14:30,168
- Yup.
- In the garage?
303
00:14:30,170 --> 00:14:31,769
- Yup.
- In the car?
304
00:14:31,771 --> 00:14:33,838
- What car?
- Our car.
305
00:14:33,840 --> 00:14:35,807
Our car is gone.
306
00:14:35,809 --> 00:14:39,510
Willie, Lynn took our car
to the drive-in.
307
00:14:39,512 --> 00:14:41,946
Oh, sure, she'll take
ALF to the drive-in
308
00:14:41,948 --> 00:14:43,781
but not me.
309
00:14:43,783 --> 00:14:44,616
[doorbell dings]
310
00:14:44,618 --> 00:14:46,451
Kate, you answer the door.
311
00:14:46,453 --> 00:14:49,020
I'll go to the drive-in
and get ALF.
312
00:14:49,022 --> 00:14:50,989
[gasping]
I can't go to the drive-in
313
00:14:50,991 --> 00:14:53,224
Lynn's got the car!
314
00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:54,692
You know, perhaps
this isn't the best time
315
00:14:54,694 --> 00:14:56,261
to raise this issue
but I still think
316
00:14:56,263 --> 00:14:58,463
we need a second car.
317
00:14:58,465 --> 00:15:00,765
- Hi, Kate.
- Oh, Trevor.
318
00:15:00,767 --> 00:15:03,167
Trevor, could we borrow
your car?
319
00:15:03,169 --> 00:15:05,003
Whatever happened to,
"Hi, neighbor, how are ya?
320
00:15:05,005 --> 00:15:07,105
How was the hunting trip?
Here's your mail?"
321
00:15:07,107 --> 00:15:09,073
Oh, I'm-I'm sorry.
322
00:15:09,075 --> 00:15:11,409
Hi, neighbor, how are ya?
323
00:15:11,411 --> 00:15:12,677
How was your hunting trip?
324
00:15:12,679 --> 00:15:15,013
Well, we left last Saturday.
325
00:15:15,015 --> 00:15:16,848
And the first thing
that happened was
326
00:15:16,850 --> 00:15:20,251
we pulled out of the driveway
and got a flat tire.
327
00:15:20,253 --> 00:15:23,121
Took Raquel
a half hour to fix it.
328
00:15:23,123 --> 00:15:24,455
Then everything was fine
329
00:15:24,457 --> 00:15:27,125
until we get up around Big Pine.
330
00:15:27,127 --> 00:15:29,260
We got onto Highway 190
331
00:15:29,262 --> 00:15:31,195
and about 15 miles down the road
332
00:15:31,197 --> 00:15:33,598
we ran smack into a detour.
333
00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:35,867
Right down a gravel road.
334
00:15:35,869 --> 00:15:39,237
- Your mail.
- Oh, thanks.
335
00:15:39,239 --> 00:15:41,039
Now, can we borrow your car?
336
00:15:41,041 --> 00:15:43,408
Don't you wanna hear
about the gravel road?
337
00:15:43,410 --> 00:15:44,676
Not really.
338
00:15:44,678 --> 00:15:47,445
I mean, I-I.. I'd-I'd love to
339
00:15:47,447 --> 00:15:48,479
Trevor, but I gotta run.
340
00:15:48,481 --> 00:15:50,348
I'm sure Kate would.
341
00:15:50,350 --> 00:15:54,118
(Trevor)
'So anyway, we finally
got back onto 190'
342
00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:56,321
and got to this town Falstaff.
343
00:15:56,323 --> 00:15:58,556
Hm, not even a souvenir shop.
344
00:15:58,558 --> 00:16:00,992
No Stuckey's, no nothin'.
345
00:16:00,994 --> 00:16:04,529
We ended up eating
at this place called Food Here.
346
00:16:04,531 --> 00:16:09,000
Not bad, but they didn't have
any Sweet'N Low.
347
00:16:09,002 --> 00:16:12,837
So, uh, you and L-Larry
broke up, huh?
348
00:16:14,407 --> 00:16:16,107
You mean L-Lloyd?
349
00:16:16,109 --> 00:16:18,476
Oh, ye-yeah.
350
00:16:18,478 --> 00:16:19,911
That's right.
351
00:16:19,913 --> 00:16:21,145
[tires squeal]
352
00:16:21,147 --> 00:16:23,147
[siren wails]
353
00:16:30,290 --> 00:16:31,489
Oh! Did I do that?
354
00:16:31,491 --> 00:16:32,690
I don't think
that you could have.
355
00:16:32,692 --> 00:16:35,593
I must have.
I'm always dropping things.
356
00:16:35,595 --> 00:16:36,627
Well, it's okay.
I'll just clean it all up.
357
00:16:36,629 --> 00:16:38,830
No! I mean, leave it.
358
00:16:38,832 --> 00:16:40,698
My father likes
to clean out the car.
359
00:16:40,700 --> 00:16:43,935
He-he got a Dustbuster
for Father's Day.
360
00:16:43,937 --> 00:16:45,069
Okay.
361
00:16:54,114 --> 00:16:56,547
[choking]
362
00:16:56,549 --> 00:16:59,417
[coughing]
363
00:16:59,419 --> 00:17:00,785
Are you alright?
364
00:17:00,787 --> 00:17:02,220
I'll let you know in a minute.
365
00:17:06,326 --> 00:17:07,592
I'm okay.
366
00:17:07,594 --> 00:17:08,826
[retching]
367
00:17:08,828 --> 00:17:10,895
[coughing]
368
00:17:10,897 --> 00:17:12,530
Actually, I could
use a soft drink.
369
00:17:12,532 --> 00:17:13,531
Oh, well-well, what kind?
370
00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:15,533
[coughs]
Root beer's fine.
371
00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:18,302
Do-do you want
the 7.50 size or the $10?
372
00:17:18,304 --> 00:17:20,505
[coughing]
You decide.
373
00:17:24,477 --> 00:17:26,844
You know I hate root beer.
374
00:17:26,846 --> 00:17:28,813
Why are you ruining
this date for me?
375
00:17:28,815 --> 00:17:31,716
You call this a date?
This isn't a date.
376
00:17:31,718 --> 00:17:33,151
This is an oil painting.
377
00:17:33,153 --> 00:17:36,287
I don't even know
why you bothered to go.
378
00:17:36,289 --> 00:17:37,855
Because some nosy alien
379
00:17:37,857 --> 00:17:40,558
got me a date over the phone.
380
00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:44,529
Nosy? Is that
a snide snout remark?
381
00:17:46,066 --> 00:17:47,131
Just forget it.
382
00:17:47,133 --> 00:17:49,100
I wish this whole thing
never happened.
383
00:17:49,102 --> 00:17:51,536
Well, then,
let's ditch this Danny dude
384
00:17:51,538 --> 00:17:53,071
and hit the road.
385
00:17:53,073 --> 00:17:54,839
- No.
- Why?
386
00:17:54,841 --> 00:17:58,042
Well, because
it would be rude and..
387
00:17:58,044 --> 00:18:01,179
...and because he-he'd
have to walk home.
388
00:18:01,181 --> 00:18:02,680
And because...
389
00:18:02,682 --> 00:18:05,716
Because you like him.
390
00:18:05,718 --> 00:18:09,821
Well, yeah. I like him.
391
00:18:09,823 --> 00:18:12,790
Ever since tenth grade.
392
00:18:12,792 --> 00:18:14,826
But I'm not gonna tell him.
393
00:18:14,828 --> 00:18:16,160
Why not?
394
00:18:16,162 --> 00:18:18,162
Because I made
that mistake with L-Lloyd
395
00:18:18,164 --> 00:18:19,330
and look what happened.
396
00:18:19,332 --> 00:18:20,465
So what?
397
00:18:20,467 --> 00:18:21,699
You think that's the only time
398
00:18:21,701 --> 00:18:23,701
you're gonna get dumped?
399
00:18:23,703 --> 00:18:25,670
Shelley says,
"There's a broken light
400
00:18:25,672 --> 00:18:27,872
for every heart on Broadway."
401
00:18:27,874 --> 00:18:31,809
I am so tired of Shelley
telling me what to do.
402
00:18:31,811 --> 00:18:34,812
Lynn, this doesn't
just come from Shelley.
403
00:18:34,814 --> 00:18:37,748
It comes from the old ALFer.
404
00:18:37,750 --> 00:18:41,385
Hey, you think I haven't
had a few experiences
405
00:18:41,387 --> 00:18:43,254
with the opposite sexes?
406
00:18:44,524 --> 00:18:46,691
Have you ever
had your heart broken?
407
00:18:46,693 --> 00:18:48,292
Many times.
408
00:18:48,294 --> 00:18:52,797
I was engaged
to one woman for 58 years.
409
00:18:52,799 --> 00:18:56,000
What was her name?
410
00:18:56,002 --> 00:18:58,102
Ruby.
411
00:18:58,104 --> 00:19:00,204
So what happened to her?
412
00:19:00,206 --> 00:19:02,206
She took her love to town.
413
00:19:03,710 --> 00:19:06,177
Even though I said don't.
414
00:19:08,248 --> 00:19:09,947
I'm sorry.
415
00:19:09,949 --> 00:19:14,585
The very next day
I met Rhonda at a pet bake.
416
00:19:14,587 --> 00:19:17,388
And I thought, she's beautiful.
417
00:19:17,390 --> 00:19:19,524
Boy, I want her.
418
00:19:19,526 --> 00:19:22,126
But I was afraid
I might get hurt again.
419
00:19:22,128 --> 00:19:24,195
So what'd you do?
420
00:19:24,197 --> 00:19:25,930
Well, I waited 17 years
421
00:19:25,932 --> 00:19:28,032
then I asked her out.
422
00:19:28,034 --> 00:19:33,271
The day after that,
my planet exploded.
423
00:19:33,273 --> 00:19:35,973
Seventeen years, wasted.
424
00:19:37,343 --> 00:19:40,378
I understand, ALF. Thanks.
425
00:19:40,380 --> 00:19:41,445
Oh, get down. Danny's coming.
426
00:19:41,447 --> 00:19:42,914
Yeah, yeah.
427
00:19:47,086 --> 00:19:49,420
I couldn't decide,
so I, I got you both.
428
00:19:49,422 --> 00:19:50,788
Thanks.
429
00:19:53,493 --> 00:19:55,059
Danny..
430
00:19:55,061 --> 00:19:56,360
...there's something
I wanna tell you.
431
00:19:56,362 --> 00:19:59,030
- What? You didn't want ice?
- No, no.
432
00:19:59,032 --> 00:20:01,499
Um..
433
00:20:01,501 --> 00:20:04,302
[sighs]
Ever since tenth grade..
434
00:20:04,304 --> 00:20:08,239
Oh, yeah,
old lady Cassidy's class.
435
00:20:08,241 --> 00:20:12,143
Boy, I had
such a crush on you.
436
00:20:12,145 --> 00:20:16,080
- You had a crush on me?
- Yeah.
437
00:20:16,082 --> 00:20:18,282
Well, how come
you never told me?
438
00:20:18,284 --> 00:20:21,219
Well, I didn't want
you to know that I liked you.
439
00:20:21,221 --> 00:20:24,789
You know, that's the trouble
with Earthlings.
440
00:20:24,791 --> 00:20:27,658
I mean, people.
441
00:20:27,660 --> 00:20:29,594
They never say what they mean.
442
00:20:29,596 --> 00:20:31,996
If this planet
were to explode tomorrow
443
00:20:31,998 --> 00:20:35,366
just think of all the time
we would have wasted.
444
00:20:35,368 --> 00:20:37,301
Huh?
445
00:20:37,303 --> 00:20:39,604
Never mind.
446
00:20:39,606 --> 00:20:43,908
- I'm just happy you like me.
- I like you a lot.
447
00:20:43,910 --> 00:20:46,043
In fact, I paid Donnie
to say that he was sick
448
00:20:46,045 --> 00:20:48,045
so that I could
go out with you.
449
00:20:48,047 --> 00:20:50,381
- Really?
- Yeah, really.
450
00:20:50,383 --> 00:20:53,417
[chuckles]
That's so cute.
451
00:20:56,789 --> 00:20:59,857
Wait a minute, you bought me.
452
00:20:59,859 --> 00:21:01,959
Twenty bucks and the use
of my van for the night.
453
00:21:01,961 --> 00:21:05,029
Plus, I had to reimburse them
for the bowling shirts.
454
00:21:05,031 --> 00:21:06,797
But, boy, you're worth it.
455
00:21:11,471 --> 00:21:13,104
(Willie)
'Excuse me.'
456
00:21:15,208 --> 00:21:18,075
Lynn, it's your dad.
457
00:21:21,781 --> 00:21:23,447
- Dad!
- Hi.
458
00:21:23,449 --> 00:21:25,416
Hi, Lynn. Hi, Danny.
459
00:21:25,418 --> 00:21:26,617
Hi there, Mr. Tanner.
460
00:21:26,619 --> 00:21:29,654
What a nice surprise.
461
00:21:29,656 --> 00:21:33,624
Uh, Lynn, uh,
this is gonna sound strange
462
00:21:33,626 --> 00:21:35,626
but, uh..
463
00:21:35,628 --> 00:21:37,595
...your mother couldn't
464
00:21:37,597 --> 00:21:39,864
go to sleep tonight..
465
00:21:39,866 --> 00:21:41,732
...because she didn't have
466
00:21:41,734 --> 00:21:44,035
that old orange blanket.
467
00:21:44,037 --> 00:21:47,571
You know that old, furry blanket
468
00:21:47,573 --> 00:21:49,974
that's always getting lost.
469
00:21:49,976 --> 00:21:53,544
Yeah, you know,
I think it's right back there.
470
00:21:53,546 --> 00:21:55,513
It..
471
00:21:55,515 --> 00:21:57,948
It sure is.
472
00:21:57,950 --> 00:22:01,786
I'm just gonna, uh, grab it.
473
00:22:01,788 --> 00:22:03,587
And then I'm gonna be on my way.
474
00:22:03,589 --> 00:22:04,989
- Okay.
- You guys just go..
475
00:22:04,991 --> 00:22:08,826
Why don't you guys just go back
and watch the movie?
476
00:22:08,828 --> 00:22:10,695
Danny, what's happening now?
477
00:22:10,697 --> 00:22:12,263
Uh, Bronson just snuffed
another guy
478
00:22:12,265 --> 00:22:16,233
because they gave him
his steak well done.
479
00:22:16,235 --> 00:22:18,936
Okay, I got it.
480
00:22:18,938 --> 00:22:21,272
Yes, I do. Ugh.
481
00:22:21,274 --> 00:22:24,775
[grunting]
I sure have got it.
482
00:22:24,777 --> 00:22:26,644
(Willie)
'Now, I'll be on my way.'
483
00:22:26,646 --> 00:22:27,845
Night, dad.
484
00:22:27,847 --> 00:22:28,979
(ALF)
'Willie, can we stop
485
00:22:28,981 --> 00:22:30,314
at the concession stand?'
486
00:22:30,316 --> 00:22:31,349
No, we can't.
487
00:22:31,351 --> 00:22:33,884
'The prices are
very reasonable.'
488
00:22:41,361 --> 00:22:43,361
[eerie music on TV]
489
00:22:46,499 --> 00:22:49,467
No, no! Don't open that door!
490
00:22:49,469 --> 00:22:51,502
Oh, no!
She opened the door!
491
00:22:51,504 --> 00:22:54,338
Yike-Er-Oni.
492
00:22:54,340 --> 00:22:56,874
What are you guys
doing out here?
493
00:22:56,876 --> 00:22:58,509
This is our drive-in theater.
494
00:22:58,511 --> 00:23:00,511
Yeah, and you two snuck in.
495
00:23:00,513 --> 00:23:02,913
I'm calling the manager.
496
00:23:02,915 --> 00:23:04,749
What are you watching anyway?
497
00:23:04,751 --> 00:23:06,650
Oh, "The Return of the Son
of the Creature
498
00:23:06,652 --> 00:23:08,786
from the Big Black Bog."
499
00:23:08,788 --> 00:23:11,655
Starring Ronnie Schell.
500
00:23:11,657 --> 00:23:13,724
Would you mind if we join you?
501
00:23:13,726 --> 00:23:16,494
Okay, but don't hog the popcorn.
502
00:23:28,441 --> 00:23:31,542
And don't fog up
the windows back there.
503
00:23:34,981 --> 00:23:37,181
[theme music]
504
00:24:03,009 --> 00:24:05,209
[ALF laughing]
37863
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