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1
00:00:04,138 --> 00:00:06,005
This is pretty
hefty punishment
2
00:00:06,007 --> 00:00:08,207
for breaking one measly chimney.
3
00:00:09,810 --> 00:00:11,677
Hey, ALF. Watch this.
4
00:00:14,348 --> 00:00:16,215
Interesting.
5
00:00:16,217 --> 00:00:17,983
(Brian)
'It's a dog.'
6
00:00:17,985 --> 00:00:21,253
I could see that,
but it wrecked your stick trick.
7
00:00:22,490 --> 00:00:23,989
What was supposed to happen?
8
00:00:23,991 --> 00:00:26,091
That was it.
That's how you play fetch.
9
00:00:28,129 --> 00:00:29,862
Fascinating game.
10
00:00:29,864 --> 00:00:31,797
Right up there
with watching golf.
11
00:00:32,833 --> 00:00:34,633
You wanna throw one?
12
00:00:34,635 --> 00:00:36,368
Alright. What harm could it do?
13
00:00:43,210 --> 00:00:44,410
[glass shattering]
14
00:00:44,412 --> 00:00:46,145
[gasps]
15
00:00:50,184 --> 00:00:52,051
- Hi.
- Hi.
16
00:00:53,854 --> 00:00:56,822
Uh, what are the chances
that the crash I just heard
17
00:00:56,824 --> 00:00:59,758
was the Ochmoneks
breaking their own window?
18
00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:02,561
Slim and none.
And slim is out of town.
19
00:01:04,365 --> 00:01:06,398
Where did this dog come from?
20
00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:09,401
She followed me home
from school.
21
00:01:09,403 --> 00:01:11,270
(Trevor)
'Hey, Tanner!'
22
00:01:11,272 --> 00:01:16,341
ALF, you-you better hide whilst
I, once again, take the blame
23
00:01:16,343 --> 00:01:17,910
for something you did.
24
00:01:17,912 --> 00:01:20,345
Thanks, Willie.
You're a prince.
25
00:01:22,083 --> 00:01:23,415
I'm a king.
26
00:01:24,552 --> 00:01:27,086
Good afternoon, guys.
27
00:01:27,088 --> 00:01:28,787
Uh, does this look
familiar to anyone?
28
00:01:28,789 --> 00:01:31,390
Oh, gee, I'm-I'm sorry, Trevor.
29
00:01:31,392 --> 00:01:33,225
B-Brian and I were..
30
00:01:33,227 --> 00:01:35,928
...uh, we were just,
sort of...play..
31
00:01:35,930 --> 00:01:37,796
- It's twenty dollars, right?
- Eighty.
32
00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:41,767
Eighty dollars?
33
00:01:41,769 --> 00:01:44,803
Yeah, I'm putting
in Plexiglas this time.
34
00:01:44,805 --> 00:01:47,139
It'll be cheaper for you
in the long run.
35
00:01:48,109 --> 00:01:50,209
- Good planning.
- Thanks.
36
00:01:50,211 --> 00:01:52,211
- 'Well, I'll see ya.'
- 'So long, Trevor.'
37
00:01:54,415 --> 00:01:58,217
- Uh, she sure is a pretty dog.
- Can we keep her?
38
00:01:58,219 --> 00:02:00,619
Yeah, Willie. Can we, huh?
39
00:02:00,621 --> 00:02:03,455
No. I-I-I don't know.
40
00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:06,658
I-I'm sure she's got
an owner somewhere.
41
00:02:06,660 --> 00:02:10,162
Can't we just keep her
until we find the owner?
42
00:02:10,164 --> 00:02:13,799
Well, I-I guess so, as long, as
long as it's okay with your mom.
43
00:02:13,801 --> 00:02:16,435
Oh, goody, goody,
goody, goody, goody!
44
00:02:16,437 --> 00:02:18,470
I didn't know you liked dogs.
45
00:02:18,472 --> 00:02:20,405
What's not to like?
46
00:02:20,407 --> 00:02:24,176
They are loyal, obedient.
They hate cats.
47
00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:27,312
[growling]
48
00:02:28,249 --> 00:02:30,015
And those who eat them.
49
00:02:32,019 --> 00:02:33,585
Down, boy. Down.
50
00:02:35,990 --> 00:02:38,490
[theme music]
51
00:02:48,769 --> 00:02:50,402
[no audio]
52
00:02:55,042 --> 00:02:56,909
[no audio]
53
00:03:02,016 --> 00:03:03,549
[no audio]
54
00:03:09,823 --> 00:03:11,523
[no audio]
55
00:03:21,569 --> 00:03:23,402
[no audio]
56
00:03:58,572 --> 00:04:00,005
Hi, there.
57
00:04:00,007 --> 00:04:02,341
Gordon Shumway.
Nice to meet you.
58
00:04:02,343 --> 00:04:04,743
Interested in a new Buick?
59
00:04:04,745 --> 00:04:05,978
Nice try.
60
00:04:08,282 --> 00:04:11,383
Wait a minute.
One of these steaks is missing.
61
00:04:11,385 --> 00:04:13,585
- ALF!
- No, no. I didn't. Honest.
62
00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:16,221
I looked,
but I didn't touch.
63
00:04:16,223 --> 00:04:18,790
Well, you did so touch!
64
00:04:18,792 --> 00:04:22,194
Alright, I touched,
but I didn't eat.
65
00:04:22,196 --> 00:04:23,962
And I'm supposed to believe
one of these steaks
66
00:04:23,964 --> 00:04:26,431
just got up
and walked away on it's own?
67
00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:29,501
I've seen stranger.
68
00:04:30,971 --> 00:04:33,405
That's it, ALF.
No dinner for you tonight.
69
00:04:33,407 --> 00:04:37,309
But I'm starved!
I've been fasting since lunch.
70
00:04:38,979 --> 00:04:41,513
Well, I did eat that pumpkin.
71
00:04:43,984 --> 00:04:45,817
Anyone lose a steak?
72
00:04:45,819 --> 00:04:47,919
[coughing]
73
00:04:47,921 --> 00:04:51,056
O-o-okay, ALF.
I'm sorry I accused you.
74
00:04:51,892 --> 00:04:54,393
Apology accepted.
75
00:04:54,395 --> 00:04:58,030
I'd hate to be in your paws,
you cattle rustler!
76
00:05:00,134 --> 00:05:02,134
Bad dog!
77
00:05:02,136 --> 00:05:05,904
Oh, I didn't mean it.
78
00:05:05,906 --> 00:05:07,673
No, she didn't mean it.
79
00:05:07,675 --> 00:05:08,740
- Oh.
- Here.
80
00:05:08,742 --> 00:05:10,509
You're a good dog, aren't you?
81
00:05:10,511 --> 00:05:11,777
Yes, you are.
82
00:05:11,779 --> 00:05:14,413
Come on, pup. Come on.
83
00:05:14,415 --> 00:05:16,682
[imitating Lynn]
You're a good dog. Yes, you are.
84
00:05:18,519 --> 00:05:20,686
This is an outrage!
85
00:05:20,688 --> 00:05:23,922
That dog should be flogged on
the quarterdeck.
86
00:05:23,924 --> 00:05:26,425
Whatever that means.
87
00:05:26,427 --> 00:05:29,528
Oh, ALF, she's just a dog.
She doesn't know any better.
88
00:05:29,530 --> 00:05:32,331
Ignorance is no excuse.
89
00:05:32,333 --> 00:05:35,200
Ignorance is your excuse
all the time.
90
00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:39,738
I don't know
what you're talking about.
91
00:05:42,810 --> 00:05:44,443
Okay, watch this.
92
00:05:44,445 --> 00:05:45,911
Speak.
93
00:05:48,148 --> 00:05:49,748
[laughing]
94
00:05:51,352 --> 00:05:54,786
Okay. Okay. Sit.
95
00:05:54,788 --> 00:05:56,321
Oh.
96
00:05:56,323 --> 00:05:57,856
That is so cute!
97
00:05:57,858 --> 00:06:00,525
Talk about stupid pet tricks.
98
00:06:00,527 --> 00:06:02,861
Letterman would have
a field day with this one.
99
00:06:05,799 --> 00:06:09,501
Well, I put up a bunch
of those dumb posters.
100
00:06:09,503 --> 00:06:12,204
I still hope nobody
claims Alfina.
101
00:06:12,206 --> 00:06:14,039
- Alfina?
- Oh!
102
00:06:14,041 --> 00:06:16,608
Don't you just hate that name?
103
00:06:17,644 --> 00:06:19,311
What a good girl!
104
00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:22,848
Canine kiss up.
105
00:06:22,850 --> 00:06:25,384
I still think
we should offer a reward
106
00:06:25,386 --> 00:06:28,253
to anyone who claims that dog.
107
00:06:28,255 --> 00:06:31,223
You don't offer a reward
when you find a dog.
108
00:06:31,225 --> 00:06:33,892
You offer a reward
when you lose a dog.
109
00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:37,195
Okay, I'll give you
five bucks to lose Alfina.
110
00:06:37,197 --> 00:06:39,064
- ALF!
- Kidding!
111
00:06:39,066 --> 00:06:40,732
I'm a funny alien.
112
00:06:40,734 --> 00:06:43,201
[sarcastic laugh]
113
00:06:43,203 --> 00:06:44,603
[doorbell dings]
114
00:06:45,439 --> 00:06:47,506
I know the routine.
115
00:06:47,508 --> 00:06:49,508
Exit stage right.
116
00:06:58,452 --> 00:07:00,752
- Where is he?
- Where's who?
117
00:07:00,754 --> 00:07:02,788
My dog. That's who.
118
00:07:02,790 --> 00:07:04,723
You found him, didn't you?
119
00:07:04,725 --> 00:07:06,024
Well, yes, we did.
120
00:07:06,026 --> 00:07:08,693
I mean, that is to say
we found a dog.
121
00:07:09,630 --> 00:07:11,797
He's mine. Where is he?
122
00:07:13,066 --> 00:07:16,535
It's not a he.
She's a she.
123
00:07:16,537 --> 00:07:19,404
I knew that.
Is that her?
124
00:07:19,406 --> 00:07:23,074
- Don't you recognize her?
- Of course, I do.
125
00:07:23,076 --> 00:07:24,476
Come here, dog!
126
00:07:24,478 --> 00:07:25,677
[growling]
127
00:07:28,148 --> 00:07:31,483
She doesn't seem
to be responding to you.
128
00:07:31,485 --> 00:07:34,119
We had a fight!
She'll get over it.
129
00:07:35,823 --> 00:07:38,056
Uh, do you suppose
130
00:07:38,058 --> 00:07:41,393
and, uh, mind you,
this is just a thought..
131
00:07:41,395 --> 00:07:45,263
...that you might be mistaken
about this being your dog?
132
00:07:45,265 --> 00:07:47,399
I lost a dog.
You found a dog.
133
00:07:48,435 --> 00:07:50,168
Can we do business or not?
134
00:07:51,271 --> 00:07:52,804
I think not.
135
00:07:57,578 --> 00:08:00,011
Here's my address
and telephone number
136
00:08:00,013 --> 00:08:01,646
in case you change your mind.
137
00:08:01,648 --> 00:08:02,914
Okay.
138
00:08:05,786 --> 00:08:07,352
Have a nice day!
139
00:08:13,260 --> 00:08:15,126
I'm glad
you're not her dog.
140
00:08:15,128 --> 00:08:16,428
Yeah. Me too.
141
00:08:17,531 --> 00:08:19,331
Could I take Alfina for a walk?
142
00:08:19,333 --> 00:08:20,532
Sure, honey.
143
00:08:20,534 --> 00:08:22,367
Watchout for that dragon lady.
144
00:08:22,369 --> 00:08:24,803
Come on, Alfina.
145
00:08:24,805 --> 00:08:27,939
Isn't that a picture.
A boy and his dog.
146
00:08:29,476 --> 00:08:31,610
And the alien he left behind.
147
00:08:32,479 --> 00:08:33,845
[dramatic music]
148
00:08:35,716 --> 00:08:37,782
[ALF whining]
149
00:08:40,387 --> 00:08:43,388
[whining]
150
00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:48,393
[whining]
151
00:08:50,964 --> 00:08:52,998
ALF..
152
00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:54,599
...why did you do that?
153
00:08:55,903 --> 00:08:58,837
Well, I could have
licked your hand
154
00:08:58,839 --> 00:09:01,139
but I didn't think
either of us would enjoy that.
155
00:09:02,843 --> 00:09:05,210
Well, you're right. I much
prefer a blow to the head.
156
00:09:06,079 --> 00:09:07,646
As you wish, master.
157
00:09:11,485 --> 00:09:12,484
Thank you.
Thank you.
158
00:09:13,153 --> 00:09:14,886
Thank you.
159
00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:17,022
I'll read that when I get up..
160
00:09:17,024 --> 00:09:18,156
...in three hours.
161
00:09:19,526 --> 00:09:21,760
What are you two doing?
162
00:09:21,762 --> 00:09:23,428
ALF thinks he's a dog.
163
00:09:23,430 --> 00:09:26,231
Apparently,
dogs can't tell time.
164
00:09:26,233 --> 00:09:30,035
Actually, we can,
but we have so few appointments
165
00:09:30,037 --> 00:09:31,770
why bother?
166
00:09:33,607 --> 00:09:36,341
ALF, you're not a dog.
167
00:09:36,343 --> 00:09:38,910
Well, I wish I were a dog.
168
00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:43,214
Dogs get treated better
than aliens around here.
169
00:09:43,216 --> 00:09:49,020
That's because dogs behave
better than aliens around here.
170
00:09:50,123 --> 00:09:52,290
I'll change.
You'll see.
171
00:09:52,292 --> 00:09:56,761
I'll-I'll heal. I'll fetch.
I'll play dead.
172
00:09:56,763 --> 00:09:59,197
Could we discuss this
in the morning?
173
00:09:59,199 --> 00:10:01,566
But I am great at playing dead.
174
00:10:01,568 --> 00:10:05,737
I was Camille
in my high school play.
175
00:10:05,739 --> 00:10:08,873
I feel weak.
176
00:10:10,043 --> 00:10:13,011
[coughs]
177
00:10:26,259 --> 00:10:28,860
Is nothing sacred?
Out of my bed!
178
00:10:30,597 --> 00:10:34,466
You come in here, stick your
big snout into everything.
179
00:10:34,468 --> 00:10:37,068
Take over the house,
eat all the food.
180
00:10:38,071 --> 00:10:39,537
That's my job.
181
00:10:42,275 --> 00:10:44,342
How would you feel
about relocating?
182
00:10:45,178 --> 00:10:47,078
[growls]
183
00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:49,047
I'll take that as a yes.
184
00:10:59,092 --> 00:11:00,759
- Tomatoes?
- Uh, over here.
185
00:11:00,761 --> 00:11:03,495
Thank you. Oregano?
186
00:11:03,497 --> 00:11:05,430
- Where you left it.
- Thank you.
187
00:11:05,432 --> 00:11:08,266
- Oh. Whipped cream?
- Coming at you.
188
00:11:09,369 --> 00:11:10,602
[yawns]
189
00:11:10,604 --> 00:11:11,936
Morning!
190
00:11:11,938 --> 00:11:14,639
- Oh, morning, ALF.
- I smell food.
191
00:11:14,641 --> 00:11:16,041
And lots of it.
192
00:11:16,043 --> 00:11:17,509
What's cooking?
193
00:11:17,511 --> 00:11:20,779
Oh, your all-time favorite
Sunday breakfast.
194
00:11:20,781 --> 00:11:22,414
Cats Benedict?
195
00:11:23,784 --> 00:11:27,385
No. French toast, Jell-O
and spaghetti.
196
00:11:28,955 --> 00:11:30,689
[sniffs]
197
00:11:30,691 --> 00:11:34,459
Ah, Christmas came early
this year.
198
00:11:34,461 --> 00:11:38,029
Well, actually, we-we felt like
we kinda owed you an apology.
199
00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:40,699
Well, I agree. What for?
200
00:11:40,701 --> 00:11:42,300
Well, for neglecting you
201
00:11:42,302 --> 00:11:45,370
and spending
all our time with Alfina.
202
00:11:45,372 --> 00:11:47,706
Speaking of Alfina,
where is she?
203
00:11:47,708 --> 00:11:49,074
Yeah, you know,
she always comes
204
00:11:49,076 --> 00:11:50,542
running when
there's food cooking.
205
00:11:50,544 --> 00:11:52,410
Yeah. ALF, you haven't
seen her, have you?
206
00:11:54,881 --> 00:11:56,548
Check, please.
207
00:11:58,151 --> 00:12:00,752
What have you done?
208
00:12:00,754 --> 00:12:04,789
Oh, sure. Just assume
that I gave Alfina away.
209
00:12:05,692 --> 00:12:08,727
You gave away Alfina?
210
00:12:08,729 --> 00:12:10,829
[doorbell dings]
211
00:12:10,831 --> 00:12:12,464
Saved by the bell.
212
00:12:13,767 --> 00:12:15,834
You stay right
where you are, mister.
213
00:12:19,539 --> 00:12:22,407
This doesn't have the feel
of your typical happy ending.
214
00:12:25,545 --> 00:12:27,212
Hi, can I help you?
215
00:12:27,214 --> 00:12:28,913
I came to get my dog.
216
00:12:31,017 --> 00:12:32,684
Oh, okay, come on in.
217
00:12:34,221 --> 00:12:36,921
This is her.
This is my dog, Francesca.
218
00:12:37,858 --> 00:12:39,958
Can I have her back, please?
219
00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:42,060
- Sure.
- Oh, uh, no, wait.
220
00:12:42,062 --> 00:12:43,962
Um, before we give her to you
221
00:12:43,964 --> 00:12:46,131
we have to make sure
she is your dog.
222
00:12:46,133 --> 00:12:48,133
Oh, she's my dog, alright.
223
00:12:48,135 --> 00:12:52,303
She's brown and white and
shaggy, and she does tricks.
224
00:12:52,305 --> 00:12:55,573
- What kind of tricks?
- The wrong tricks.
225
00:12:55,575 --> 00:12:57,575
Like, when I tell her
to sit up and beg
226
00:12:57,577 --> 00:12:59,177
she rolls over and plays dead.
227
00:13:00,547 --> 00:13:01,546
That's her, alright.
228
00:13:03,583 --> 00:13:07,185
My dad taught her that.
He has a weird sense of humor.
229
00:13:08,922 --> 00:13:11,089
I can't find Alfina anywhere.
230
00:13:11,091 --> 00:13:12,791
Who's Alfina?
231
00:13:12,793 --> 00:13:15,927
Oh, we have a little problem.
232
00:13:15,929 --> 00:13:18,263
- Uh..
- Hannah.
233
00:13:18,265 --> 00:13:20,165
Hannah.
234
00:13:20,167 --> 00:13:21,833
I'm Mr. Tanner.
235
00:13:21,835 --> 00:13:24,302
- This is my wife, Mrs. Tanner.
- Hello.
236
00:13:24,304 --> 00:13:27,505
And these are the Tanner
siblings, Brian, Lynn.
237
00:13:27,507 --> 00:13:28,973
Hi.
238
00:13:28,975 --> 00:13:32,510
Um, Hannah is here
to pick up her dog.
239
00:13:33,079 --> 00:13:34,245
Uh-oh.
240
00:13:35,482 --> 00:13:36,748
Where is she?
241
00:13:38,285 --> 00:13:40,451
Actually, we don't know
where she is
242
00:13:40,453 --> 00:13:42,120
just at the moment.
243
00:13:42,122 --> 00:13:45,657
Oh, no. I have to sit down.
244
00:13:45,659 --> 00:13:47,192
Oh, please.
245
00:13:48,995 --> 00:13:53,031
You know, we did find your dog.
I mean, Brian found your dog.
246
00:13:53,033 --> 00:13:57,535
It's just that she seems
to have...wandered off.
247
00:13:57,537 --> 00:14:00,171
We just moved to
this neighborhood
248
00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:02,974
And Francesca is the only friend
I have here.
249
00:14:02,976 --> 00:14:05,643
Oh, Hannah. No, don't cry.
250
00:14:05,645 --> 00:14:08,980
We'll help you find your dog.
251
00:14:08,982 --> 00:14:10,815
And if we can't..
252
00:14:10,817 --> 00:14:13,117
...I can think
of a suitable replacement.
253
00:14:17,290 --> 00:14:18,990
ALF.
254
00:14:18,992 --> 00:14:20,391
Hold on, Willie.
255
00:14:20,393 --> 00:14:22,393
I'm trying to find
the right quotation
256
00:14:22,395 --> 00:14:24,829
to express my regret.
257
00:14:24,831 --> 00:14:27,065
This one seems apropos.
258
00:14:27,067 --> 00:14:29,000
"To err is human."
259
00:14:29,002 --> 00:14:32,837
You got rid of that dog,
didn't you?
260
00:14:32,839 --> 00:14:35,573
You're right.
The buck stops here.
261
00:14:35,575 --> 00:14:38,610
"Admiral John Poindexter, 1987."
262
00:14:42,349 --> 00:14:45,516
Where is the dog, ALF?
263
00:14:45,518 --> 00:14:47,719
I thought Brian
was getting too attached
264
00:14:47,721 --> 00:14:49,420
to the little mutt.
265
00:14:49,422 --> 00:14:52,423
That's not for you to decide.
I'm in charge here.
266
00:14:52,425 --> 00:14:56,394
Oh, uh,
"General Alexander Haig, 1981."
267
00:14:58,598 --> 00:15:02,333
ALF, what have you done
with the dog?
268
00:15:02,335 --> 00:15:04,535
Hey, hey, don't worry.
269
00:15:04,537 --> 00:15:07,772
I called that nice lady
who said she was the owner.
270
00:15:07,774 --> 00:15:09,941
She picked Alfina up last night.
271
00:15:10,610 --> 00:15:12,176
Oh, ALF.
272
00:15:12,178 --> 00:15:14,545
It was obvious to anyone
273
00:15:14,547 --> 00:15:18,883
that woman never laid eyes
on Alfina in her life!
274
00:15:18,885 --> 00:15:22,186
Well, she sure had me fooled!
275
00:15:22,188 --> 00:15:24,255
"Gary Hart, 1987."
276
00:15:26,126 --> 00:15:27,926
[instrumental music]
277
00:15:32,232 --> 00:15:33,264
[knock on door]
278
00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:34,299
[growls]
279
00:15:34,301 --> 00:15:36,134
Shut up, you mutt.
280
00:15:36,136 --> 00:15:38,369
[knocking continues]
281
00:15:38,371 --> 00:15:40,538
I'm coming! I'm coming.
282
00:15:40,540 --> 00:15:41,973
Keep your pants on.
283
00:15:46,112 --> 00:15:48,246
Oh, it's you.
284
00:15:48,248 --> 00:15:50,548
Oh, I-I-I'm sorry,
Mrs. Buttonwood
285
00:15:50,550 --> 00:15:52,450
I-I hope I'm not disturbing you.
286
00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:56,454
But it didn't bother you when
you phoned at 4:00 this morning
287
00:15:56,456 --> 00:15:59,724
Oh, that-that I-I-I am sorry.
288
00:15:59,726 --> 00:16:02,460
Forget it. It gave me a chance
to shave my legs.
289
00:16:05,165 --> 00:16:06,497
Step inside, Tanner.
290
00:16:06,499 --> 00:16:08,132
You're letting
all the flies out.
291
00:16:09,836 --> 00:16:11,235
(Willie)
'Hey-hey, hey.'
292
00:16:11,905 --> 00:16:13,805
Alfina.
293
00:16:13,807 --> 00:16:16,841
Hey, how you doing, girl?
294
00:16:16,843 --> 00:16:19,577
You know, Mrs. Buttonwood,
I-I-I'd really
295
00:16:19,579 --> 00:16:21,646
I'd really like
to have her back.
296
00:16:21,648 --> 00:16:23,681
I'd like
to be Christie Brinkley.
297
00:16:23,683 --> 00:16:26,017
You learn to live with it.
298
00:16:26,019 --> 00:16:29,354
But the dog's real owner
came by today
299
00:16:29,356 --> 00:16:33,324
and she, she would love
to have her back.
300
00:16:33,326 --> 00:16:35,326
She can have her back.
301
00:16:35,328 --> 00:16:37,495
- Great.
- For 500 bucks.
302
00:16:39,432 --> 00:16:42,834
- Five hundred?
- Bucks!
303
00:16:42,836 --> 00:16:44,535
You have a hearing problem?
304
00:16:46,873 --> 00:16:51,876
But the dog's real owner
is-is a little girl.
305
00:16:51,878 --> 00:16:55,480
And-and she misses her so much.
306
00:16:55,482 --> 00:16:58,449
You know, she was crying
in my living room.
307
00:16:59,786 --> 00:17:01,886
Aw. Breaks your heart,
doesn't it?
308
00:17:03,189 --> 00:17:05,690
Five hundred bucks!
309
00:17:05,692 --> 00:17:08,159
- Will you take a check?
- Cash!
310
00:17:08,161 --> 00:17:09,560
Cash.
311
00:17:09,562 --> 00:17:10,862
You can't be too careful.
312
00:17:10,864 --> 00:17:12,864
There's a lot
of slime out there.
313
00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:14,932
I hear you.
314
00:17:16,503 --> 00:17:20,238
You know,
I don't have $500 cash on me.
315
00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:21,572
[knocking on door]
316
00:17:21,574 --> 00:17:23,341
(male #1)
'Ethel! Open up!'
317
00:17:23,343 --> 00:17:25,877
My ex-boyfriend, that is,
if he ain't short of a dollar
318
00:17:25,879 --> 00:17:27,578
and jealous to the bone.
319
00:17:30,550 --> 00:17:32,850
Just a minute, honey.
320
00:17:32,852 --> 00:17:35,153
I'm not dressed yet.
321
00:17:35,155 --> 00:17:38,389
(male #1)
'Ethel! You got a man in there?'
322
00:17:38,391 --> 00:17:40,691
Maybe there is!
323
00:17:40,693 --> 00:17:44,762
You better get out of here while
your face is still in the front.
324
00:17:44,764 --> 00:17:45,897
But I..
325
00:17:45,899 --> 00:17:47,865
I haven't done anything.
326
00:17:47,867 --> 00:17:49,867
I'll give you a rain check.
327
00:17:49,869 --> 00:17:51,536
[knocking continues]
328
00:17:51,538 --> 00:17:53,938
Climb out that window.
329
00:17:53,940 --> 00:17:55,773
Oh, that's silly!
330
00:17:55,775 --> 00:17:58,242
[pounding on door]
331
00:17:58,244 --> 00:18:01,779
- Is there a backdoor?
- It's all boarded up.
332
00:18:01,781 --> 00:18:04,782
Vince threw the mailman
through it last week.
333
00:18:04,784 --> 00:18:06,317
[knocking on door]
334
00:18:09,956 --> 00:18:11,923
Oh, suddenly, that looks
like quite a drop!
335
00:18:11,925 --> 00:18:14,459
- Don't be a wuss.
- Stop!
336
00:18:14,461 --> 00:18:15,860
[thud]
337
00:18:15,862 --> 00:18:17,662
[instrumental music]
338
00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:25,036
Why did you give Alfina
to that mean lady, ALF?
339
00:18:25,038 --> 00:18:28,072
Look, B, like we said on Melmac
340
00:18:28,074 --> 00:18:31,109
"If you love something
set it free.
341
00:18:31,111 --> 00:18:33,711
"If it comes back
to you it is yours.
342
00:18:33,713 --> 00:18:38,216
If it gets run over by a car
you don't want it."
343
00:18:38,218 --> 00:18:40,451
Thanks a lot, ALF.
344
00:18:40,453 --> 00:18:42,053
Sorry.
345
00:18:42,055 --> 00:18:44,889
Hey, hey, let's go
shoot some hoops.
346
00:18:44,891 --> 00:18:46,624
I'll get the peashooter
347
00:18:46,626 --> 00:18:48,793
you see if the hoops
are in their backyard.
348
00:18:49,996 --> 00:18:52,630
I'm not playing with you
anymore, ever!
349
00:18:53,666 --> 00:18:55,199
[door opens]
350
00:18:56,836 --> 00:18:59,103
Dad, where's Alfina?
351
00:18:59,105 --> 00:19:01,139
I'm, I'm sorry, Brian.
352
00:19:02,142 --> 00:19:04,242
I couldn't get her back.
353
00:19:04,244 --> 00:19:06,010
Why not?
354
00:19:06,012 --> 00:19:09,747
Well, apparently, Ms. Buttonwood
only wanted the dog
355
00:19:09,749 --> 00:19:13,885
so she could get $500
from the real owner.
356
00:19:15,622 --> 00:19:17,722
It's all your fault, ALF!
357
00:19:20,860 --> 00:19:23,761
He's right.
I got us into this.
358
00:19:23,763 --> 00:19:25,129
I'll get us out.
359
00:19:25,131 --> 00:19:27,498
Willie, can I borrow $500?
360
00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:29,901
I'll give it back
to you next payday.
361
00:19:30,937 --> 00:19:33,504
You don't have a job, ALF.
362
00:19:34,474 --> 00:19:36,507
I meant your next payday.
363
00:19:38,211 --> 00:19:40,511
You'll stay out of this.
364
00:19:40,513 --> 00:19:42,580
You're in enough hot water!
365
00:19:44,951 --> 00:19:47,018
So what's a little more?
366
00:19:51,824 --> 00:19:54,091
Hey, mutt, move it or lose it.
367
00:19:58,831 --> 00:20:00,965
[telephone ringing]
368
00:20:03,703 --> 00:20:05,803
Never fails.
369
00:20:05,805 --> 00:20:09,240
Sit down to a nice home-cooked
meal and the phone rings.
370
00:20:12,545 --> 00:20:14,378
I'm coming! I'm coming!
371
00:20:16,015 --> 00:20:17,381
[ringing continues]
372
00:20:21,254 --> 00:20:24,522
[whispers]
Psst! Psst! Alfina.
373
00:20:24,524 --> 00:20:27,892
Alfina. It's me, ALF.
374
00:20:27,894 --> 00:20:29,894
I've come to rescue you.
375
00:20:29,896 --> 00:20:31,596
(Ethel)
'Hey, dog.'
376
00:20:31,598 --> 00:20:34,165
'You touch that TV dinner,
you're cheese spread.'
377
00:20:36,102 --> 00:20:39,904
Uh, we could throw water on her
and watch her melt
378
00:20:39,906 --> 00:20:41,672
but we're short on time.
379
00:20:43,042 --> 00:20:44,609
[knocking on door]
380
00:20:44,611 --> 00:20:46,077
Oh, great.
381
00:20:48,381 --> 00:20:50,548
I need a doorman.
382
00:20:50,550 --> 00:20:51,916
[knocking continues]
383
00:20:51,918 --> 00:20:53,818
Hold your horses!
384
00:20:56,222 --> 00:20:57,455
Hello, sweetheart.
385
00:20:57,457 --> 00:20:58,789
Vince, I told you
never to show
386
00:20:58,791 --> 00:21:01,125
your jealous puss
around here again.
387
00:21:01,127 --> 00:21:03,361
Well, that's what
I've come to tell you.
388
00:21:04,797 --> 00:21:07,965
I'm not jealous anymore,
twinkle toes.
389
00:21:07,967 --> 00:21:11,969
I'm in group therapy
with a bunch of Italian guys.
390
00:21:11,971 --> 00:21:14,939
You did all that just for me,
stud-muffin?
391
00:21:15,942 --> 00:21:17,708
Stud-muffin?
392
00:21:17,710 --> 00:21:21,746
But you only call me
that when you wanna.. Oh-oh!
393
00:21:21,748 --> 00:21:24,015
Shut up,
and go get the mood music.
394
00:21:26,252 --> 00:21:28,853
(Vince)
'The-the "LP" or the "45?"'
395
00:21:29,922 --> 00:21:31,422
"The LP."
396
00:21:31,424 --> 00:21:32,723
Alright!
397
00:21:32,725 --> 00:21:34,458
[laughing]
398
00:21:38,831 --> 00:21:40,831
[dramatic music]
399
00:21:45,905 --> 00:21:47,104
Come on, pooch.
400
00:21:47,106 --> 00:21:49,173
We don't wanna stick around
for this.
401
00:21:52,812 --> 00:21:53,844
[Ethel laughing]
402
00:21:53,846 --> 00:21:54,979
[Vince laughing]
403
00:21:57,150 --> 00:22:00,851
No. Some things are best left
to the imagination.
404
00:22:02,021 --> 00:22:04,021
Ewweee!
405
00:22:11,998 --> 00:22:13,030
[instrumental music]
406
00:22:15,601 --> 00:22:19,437
One last time.
Okay, Francesca, speak.
407
00:22:22,475 --> 00:22:23,708
[all cheering]
408
00:22:24,977 --> 00:22:28,045
The dog is phenomenal.
409
00:22:28,047 --> 00:22:30,381
I should tell my parents
I found her.
410
00:22:30,383 --> 00:22:32,583
Wave buh-bye,
Francesca.
411
00:22:37,557 --> 00:22:39,290
Phenomenal.
412
00:22:39,292 --> 00:22:40,558
Goodbye, Hanna.
413
00:22:40,560 --> 00:22:42,460
Goodbye, Francesca.
414
00:22:42,462 --> 00:22:44,628
Hey, you can come play with us
if you want to.
415
00:22:44,630 --> 00:22:46,697
- Can I?
- Oh, sure, honey. Have fun.
416
00:22:46,699 --> 00:22:51,469
Let's go.
417
00:22:51,471 --> 00:22:55,373
Oh, they look kinda
look cute together, don't they?
418
00:22:57,710 --> 00:22:59,810
I can't help it, I'm a mother.
419
00:23:01,647 --> 00:23:03,314
She should wear flats.
420
00:23:05,418 --> 00:23:08,519
You know, I am kinda
proud of Brian though.
421
00:23:08,521 --> 00:23:11,989
The way he was able to give up
that dog without any fuss.
422
00:23:11,991 --> 00:23:13,023
Yeah.
423
00:23:13,025 --> 00:23:15,493
What about yours truly?
424
00:23:15,495 --> 00:23:17,328
What about him?
425
00:23:17,330 --> 00:23:20,731
Valiantly risking my life
behind enemy lines
426
00:23:20,733 --> 00:23:25,936
to reunite a girl and her dog
where others had failed before?
427
00:23:25,938 --> 00:23:27,905
Notably you, Wilheim.
428
00:23:29,876 --> 00:23:32,276
We get the point, ALFheim.
429
00:23:32,278 --> 00:23:33,711
Yes, yes.
430
00:23:33,713 --> 00:23:35,546
This time..
431
00:23:35,548 --> 00:23:38,182
...you did manage
to do the right thing.
432
00:23:40,586 --> 00:23:41,986
[whimpers]
433
00:23:43,356 --> 00:23:44,989
[theme music]
434
00:24:10,650 --> 00:24:12,049
[ALF screaming]
32617
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