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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,336 --> 00:00:03,569 [door opens] 2 00:00:05,439 --> 00:00:08,841 Hey, Kate, guess what I am. 3 00:00:08,843 --> 00:00:10,376 Is it something that begins with "couch" 4 00:00:10,378 --> 00:00:12,778 and ends with "potato"? 5 00:00:12,780 --> 00:00:15,180 Cheap shot, Kate-mandu. 6 00:00:15,182 --> 00:00:17,549 I'm a Type T personality. 7 00:00:17,551 --> 00:00:21,220 Okay, ALF. What is a Type T personality? 8 00:00:21,222 --> 00:00:23,022 Well, according to this article 9 00:00:23,024 --> 00:00:25,557 a Type T is a thrill-seeker. 10 00:00:25,559 --> 00:00:27,626 Someone who looks for danger 11 00:00:27,628 --> 00:00:29,862 who laughs in the face of death. 12 00:00:29,864 --> 00:00:31,230 Ha-ha-ha. 13 00:00:31,232 --> 00:00:32,631 Is this from the same person 14 00:00:32,633 --> 00:00:34,133 who watched the movie "Aliens" 15 00:00:34,135 --> 00:00:36,235 from under the couch? 16 00:00:36,237 --> 00:00:38,937 Hey, I thought I owed one of those guys money. 17 00:00:40,408 --> 00:00:42,508 Am I a Type T? 18 00:00:42,510 --> 00:00:45,844 Well, do you enjoy hand gliding off cliffs 19 00:00:45,846 --> 00:00:48,147 into rock filled gorges? 20 00:00:48,149 --> 00:00:49,248 I don't know. 21 00:00:49,250 --> 00:00:50,649 Well, let's find out! 22 00:00:50,651 --> 00:00:52,718 What do you say we jump off the roof? 23 00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:55,421 You land feet-first, you're a wimp. 24 00:00:55,423 --> 00:00:57,389 I'll go get the ladder! 25 00:00:57,391 --> 00:01:00,893 No one is jumping off the roof. 26 00:01:00,895 --> 00:01:02,561 Hey, Kate, let me know 27 00:01:02,563 --> 00:01:04,797 when you'll let your son act like a man. 28 00:01:07,234 --> 00:01:09,935 Aah! Paper cut, paper cut! 29 00:01:09,937 --> 00:01:11,470 Ooh! 30 00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:15,441 [theme music] 31 00:01:35,930 --> 00:01:38,530 [music continues] 32 00:01:51,545 --> 00:01:54,513 [music continues] 33 00:02:15,069 --> 00:02:17,402 [instrumental music] 34 00:02:22,576 --> 00:02:24,676 (ALF) 'How was work today, honey?' 35 00:02:26,814 --> 00:02:28,947 What are you doing in my bed? 36 00:02:28,949 --> 00:02:32,651 Your bed? It happens to be half Kate's! 37 00:02:33,687 --> 00:02:35,988 Did Kate say you could lie there? 38 00:02:35,990 --> 00:02:38,590 Does that sound like something Kate would say? 39 00:02:38,592 --> 00:02:40,759 Get out of my bed. 40 00:02:40,761 --> 00:02:43,395 Now, that sounds like Kate. 41 00:02:44,798 --> 00:02:46,532 ALF, did you take my pillow? 42 00:02:46,534 --> 00:02:48,734 Yeah, it's under my tushie. 43 00:02:50,337 --> 00:02:53,772 - Keep it. - Don't go! I'm depressed! 44 00:02:53,774 --> 00:02:55,974 And Willie's kicking me out of bed. 45 00:02:55,976 --> 00:03:00,445 I'm sorry. I-I didn't know you were depressed. What's wrong? 46 00:03:00,447 --> 00:03:03,448 Well, I was looking through my photos. 47 00:03:03,450 --> 00:03:06,185 Seeing all the adventures I used to have. 48 00:03:06,187 --> 00:03:07,619 Hm. 49 00:03:07,621 --> 00:03:10,222 Here, that's me climbing Mt. Floppy 50 00:03:10,224 --> 00:03:11,857 on the planet Griphard. 51 00:03:11,859 --> 00:03:14,860 Climbing? That mountain looks flat. 52 00:03:14,862 --> 00:03:15,861 It is flat. 53 00:03:15,863 --> 00:03:19,031 It's the planet that's tilted. 54 00:03:19,033 --> 00:03:20,899 The planet.. 55 00:03:20,901 --> 00:03:23,068 ...is tilted. 56 00:03:23,070 --> 00:03:25,237 That's amazing! 57 00:03:25,239 --> 00:03:27,206 Try playing golf there sometime. 58 00:03:27,208 --> 00:03:30,576 You're lucky if you shoot in the low 600s. 59 00:03:30,578 --> 00:03:32,511 What are you doing in this barrel? 60 00:03:32,513 --> 00:03:34,146 Oh, there I was getting ready 61 00:03:34,148 --> 00:03:37,482 to go up Widow-maker Falls. 62 00:03:37,484 --> 00:03:39,885 You went up a waterfall? 63 00:03:39,887 --> 00:03:42,321 Yeah, and the ride was so rough 64 00:03:42,323 --> 00:03:44,056 I almost threw down! 65 00:03:45,025 --> 00:03:47,893 You really did have an exciting life. 66 00:03:47,895 --> 00:03:50,362 "Did" is the operative word. 67 00:03:50,364 --> 00:03:53,565 Those days are over, ma cherie. 68 00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:56,768 Well, you had a pretty exciting day yesterday. 69 00:03:57,738 --> 00:03:59,238 How do you figure that? 70 00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:02,107 You built that big bonfire in our backyard. 71 00:04:02,109 --> 00:04:04,443 And you got to see the fire engines again. 72 00:04:04,445 --> 00:04:07,679 Well, that gets old. Right, Willie? 73 00:04:07,681 --> 00:04:11,550 No, I get a lump in my throat every single time. 74 00:04:11,552 --> 00:04:14,920 Look who I'm talking to about excitement. 75 00:04:14,922 --> 00:04:17,256 Now, look here, I'm not gonna be put down by some guy 76 00:04:17,258 --> 00:04:20,225 who climbed the flat mountain. 77 00:04:20,227 --> 00:04:22,194 I-I know my life may appear 78 00:04:22,196 --> 00:04:23,562 a bit routine at times 79 00:04:23,564 --> 00:04:25,764 but I've had my share of adventure. 80 00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:27,599 I've lived on the edge. 81 00:04:27,601 --> 00:04:28,900 That's right. 82 00:04:28,902 --> 00:04:30,269 When I was born, mom and dad lived 83 00:04:30,271 --> 00:04:31,970 on the edge of Bakersfield. 84 00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:35,741 Now, you listen to me, young lady. 85 00:04:35,743 --> 00:04:38,043 There's plenty about me that you, uh.. 86 00:04:38,045 --> 00:04:39,278 ...you don't know. 87 00:04:39,280 --> 00:04:41,046 Like what? 88 00:04:41,048 --> 00:04:44,583 Well, nothing you really need to know about right now. 89 00:04:44,585 --> 00:04:45,884 Does it have anything to do 90 00:04:45,886 --> 00:04:47,452 with you wearing Kate's red pumps? 91 00:04:47,454 --> 00:04:49,221 No, it's.. 92 00:04:51,458 --> 00:04:52,824 Why would you.. 93 00:04:52,826 --> 00:04:55,294 Why would you say something like that? 94 00:04:57,731 --> 00:04:59,197 I'm an instigator. 95 00:05:01,068 --> 00:05:02,901 [laughs] Dad, tell us what you did. 96 00:05:02,903 --> 00:05:03,935 No. 97 00:05:03,937 --> 00:05:06,571 Oh, please. I really wanna know. 98 00:05:06,573 --> 00:05:08,974 Well, uh.. 99 00:05:08,976 --> 00:05:11,343 When I was 17 I hopped a freight train. 100 00:05:11,345 --> 00:05:14,079 I took it right straight across the whole country. 101 00:05:14,081 --> 00:05:15,847 You're kidding! 102 00:05:15,849 --> 00:05:17,516 What did you do for money? 103 00:05:17,518 --> 00:05:19,651 I did odd jobs, I, uh.. 104 00:05:19,653 --> 00:05:21,119 I washed dishes.. 105 00:05:21,121 --> 00:05:22,521 I-I played the piano 106 00:05:22,523 --> 00:05:25,290 in a honky-tonk place in Texas. 107 00:05:25,292 --> 00:05:27,693 - Does mom know about all this? - Oh, yeah, sure. 108 00:05:27,695 --> 00:05:29,995 But...she doesn't like me to talk about it 109 00:05:29,997 --> 00:05:33,332 because she doesn't want you and Brian getting any ideas. 110 00:05:33,334 --> 00:05:35,300 - How come? - Well, uh.. 111 00:05:35,302 --> 00:05:37,336 She doesn't want them hopping trains. 112 00:05:37,338 --> 00:05:38,870 - How come? - Well.. 113 00:05:38,872 --> 00:05:41,173 That's not something you want your children to do. 114 00:05:41,175 --> 00:05:43,375 How come? 115 00:05:43,377 --> 00:05:45,010 I don't know, it's just Kate 116 00:05:45,012 --> 00:05:47,879 laying down these arbitrary rules. 117 00:05:47,881 --> 00:05:49,881 Well, that's Kate for ya. 118 00:05:51,318 --> 00:05:53,285 [crickets chirping] 119 00:05:54,855 --> 00:05:56,788 [toy train chugging] 120 00:06:01,562 --> 00:06:03,662 Hey, Willie, is this the kind of train 121 00:06:03,664 --> 00:06:05,130 you used to hop? 122 00:06:05,132 --> 00:06:07,833 Well, the others were bigger, of course 123 00:06:07,835 --> 00:06:10,369 and they-they didn't just run around in circles. 124 00:06:10,371 --> 00:06:12,204 But, uh.. 125 00:06:12,206 --> 00:06:14,306 ...basically, yeah. 126 00:06:15,342 --> 00:06:17,042 How'd you do it? 127 00:06:17,044 --> 00:06:18,243 Well.. 128 00:06:20,247 --> 00:06:21,813 Here's what I'd do, you see. 129 00:06:21,815 --> 00:06:24,249 I'd case the yard, I-I'd hide in the bush. 130 00:06:24,251 --> 00:06:26,551 I'd wait until dark and when I saw my train was pulling out 131 00:06:26,553 --> 00:06:29,054 I would just go make a run for it. 132 00:06:29,056 --> 00:06:31,022 Whoa! Well, did it ever get so dark 133 00:06:31,024 --> 00:06:32,891 you jumped on the wrong thing 134 00:06:32,893 --> 00:06:35,060 like a bus or a parade? 135 00:06:35,062 --> 00:06:38,063 Try to ask some sensible questions, ALF. 136 00:06:38,065 --> 00:06:39,865 Okay. 137 00:06:39,867 --> 00:06:41,099 Which one is the kitchen car? 138 00:06:41,101 --> 00:06:44,503 [laughs] There wasn't any kitchen car. 139 00:06:44,505 --> 00:06:47,873 Yes, I sat in the boxcar, I-I ate beans out of a can. 140 00:06:47,875 --> 00:06:51,176 That's how I got my traveling name! 141 00:06:51,178 --> 00:06:52,310 Bean head? 142 00:06:55,249 --> 00:06:56,915 Boxcar Willie. 143 00:06:56,917 --> 00:06:59,084 Wow, what a cool name! 144 00:06:59,086 --> 00:07:00,585 Hey, can I have your autograph? 145 00:07:00,587 --> 00:07:02,254 - No! - Come on, come on! 146 00:07:02,256 --> 00:07:03,655 I guess. 147 00:07:05,592 --> 00:07:06,925 [door opens] 148 00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:08,193 Willie, are you sure you don't want to go 149 00:07:08,195 --> 00:07:09,261 to my mother's with us? 150 00:07:09,263 --> 00:07:11,129 Oh, yeah, I'm positive. 151 00:07:11,131 --> 00:07:13,932 If dad doesn't have to go, why do I? 152 00:07:13,934 --> 00:07:16,902 Because you're my son and I can tell you what to do. 153 00:07:16,904 --> 00:07:19,137 Well, there you have it. 154 00:07:21,742 --> 00:07:25,377 - What's this? - Oh, it's, uh, my autograph. 155 00:07:25,379 --> 00:07:27,813 Uh, ALF wanted it. 156 00:07:27,815 --> 00:07:30,081 It's for a friend. 157 00:07:30,083 --> 00:07:31,950 Well, we'll be back in a couple of hours. 158 00:07:31,952 --> 00:07:33,985 Now, don't get into any trouble. 159 00:07:33,987 --> 00:07:36,922 Don't worry about Willie. I'll keep an eye on him. 160 00:07:36,924 --> 00:07:39,424 I was talking to you. 161 00:07:39,426 --> 00:07:42,627 I know. I was being playful. 162 00:07:42,629 --> 00:07:44,496 - See you later, Willie. - Okay. 163 00:07:44,498 --> 00:07:46,031 - Buh-bye. - Bye. 164 00:07:49,269 --> 00:07:50,836 Now's our chance. 165 00:07:50,838 --> 00:07:54,005 Let's go down to the train yard. 166 00:07:54,007 --> 00:07:56,107 No, we're not hopping any train. 167 00:07:56,109 --> 00:07:59,311 I'm not talking about riding the rails! 168 00:07:59,313 --> 00:08:01,146 I just wanna see them! 169 00:08:01,148 --> 00:08:03,815 Please, Willie. Ple-e-ease? 170 00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:05,917 No, we can't! Really, ALF, we can't. 171 00:08:05,919 --> 00:08:08,820 Alright. Tell me when this gets annoying. 172 00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:11,289 Yeah, yeah. You hopped the freight train. 173 00:08:11,291 --> 00:08:12,624 Sure. Oh, right. Yeah. 174 00:08:12,626 --> 00:08:15,427 Yeah, I almost believed that. Uh-huh. Yeah, yeah. 175 00:08:15,429 --> 00:08:16,695 Look at Mr. Excitement. 176 00:08:16,697 --> 00:08:19,998 Forget it, ALF. It's not working! 177 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:22,701 Okay, I'll try something else. 178 00:08:22,703 --> 00:08:25,470 Willie, please take me to see the trains. 179 00:08:25,472 --> 00:08:28,173 I haven't had an adventure in a long time. 180 00:08:29,510 --> 00:08:32,811 Alright, maybe this will work. 181 00:08:32,813 --> 00:08:34,379 Willie, I'm dying. 182 00:08:34,381 --> 00:08:35,914 [coughs] 183 00:08:37,184 --> 00:08:40,852 I've only got 24 hours to live, 25, tops. 184 00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:42,387 Okay, come on. 185 00:08:42,389 --> 00:08:44,389 You bought that? 186 00:08:44,391 --> 00:08:46,491 I bought the second thing you said. 187 00:08:46,493 --> 00:08:48,026 Oh! Well, what was it? 188 00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:49,728 I might wanna use it again some time. 189 00:08:49,730 --> 00:08:50,962 Come on. 190 00:08:50,964 --> 00:08:53,031 - Bring a sweater. - Okay. 191 00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:56,268 [instrumental music] 192 00:08:58,872 --> 00:09:02,941 [sighs] Boy, there's nothing like a train yard at night! 193 00:09:03,710 --> 00:09:06,878 Yeah. It is peaceful. 194 00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:08,046 [train honking] 195 00:09:08,048 --> 00:09:10,315 Whoa! What's that thing? 196 00:09:10,317 --> 00:09:13,218 [chuckles] That's the train! 197 00:09:13,220 --> 00:09:16,321 It makes the one you have look like a toy! 198 00:09:16,323 --> 00:09:18,557 That's really something, isn't it? 199 00:09:18,559 --> 00:09:22,360 You know that engine alone weighs about 75 tons? 200 00:09:22,362 --> 00:09:26,364 You know what would happen if I put a penny on that track? 201 00:09:26,366 --> 00:09:31,770 The train'd derail and all the bums would spill their beans. 202 00:09:31,772 --> 00:09:34,739 That penny would be flat. 203 00:09:34,741 --> 00:09:38,743 Wille, pennies are already flat. 204 00:09:38,745 --> 00:09:40,512 (male #1) 'Hey, who's out there?' 205 00:09:40,514 --> 00:09:42,747 Uh-oh, that's the guard. 206 00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:45,250 You mean, that guy with the Seeing Eye dog? 207 00:09:45,252 --> 00:09:47,552 Duh! Big deal! 208 00:09:47,554 --> 00:09:48,954 No. That's no Seeing Eye dog. 209 00:09:48,956 --> 00:09:50,789 That's a Doberman pinscher. 210 00:09:50,791 --> 00:09:52,891 Yikes! Don't let him pinch me! 211 00:09:52,893 --> 00:09:54,259 [dog barking] 212 00:09:54,261 --> 00:09:55,827 ALF! 213 00:09:57,264 --> 00:10:00,198 (male #1) 'Hey, get away from that train!' 214 00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:02,601 ALF, jump! 215 00:10:02,603 --> 00:10:04,369 Run, Boxcar, run! 216 00:10:07,474 --> 00:10:08,974 All aboard! 217 00:10:08,976 --> 00:10:10,909 Hey, I always wanted to say that. 218 00:10:10,911 --> 00:10:12,777 Well, you got your wish! 219 00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:14,813 And you got yours, too! 220 00:10:14,815 --> 00:10:16,948 We're riding the rails, Willie. 221 00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:19,284 - Ain't it grand? - No, it ain't. 222 00:10:19,286 --> 00:10:22,220 Now the train's going too fast, we can't get off! 223 00:10:22,222 --> 00:10:23,622 [panting] 224 00:10:23,624 --> 00:10:26,257 You're acting like this is all my fault. 225 00:10:26,259 --> 00:10:27,492 Well, isn't it? 226 00:10:27,494 --> 00:10:29,361 I was hoping we could share. 227 00:10:34,267 --> 00:10:38,303 ¶ Good morning America how are ya? ¶ 228 00:10:38,305 --> 00:10:39,738 ¶ Don't you know me ¶ 229 00:10:39,740 --> 00:10:42,073 ¶ I'm your native son ¶¶ 230 00:10:43,810 --> 00:10:45,810 What's the next line? 231 00:10:45,812 --> 00:10:48,446 Just be quiet. 232 00:10:48,448 --> 00:10:52,217 Really? I'm surprised that song was such a big hit. 233 00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:55,954 ¶ Just be quiet just be quiet ¶ 234 00:10:55,956 --> 00:10:58,089 ¶ Just be quiet ¶ 235 00:10:58,091 --> 00:10:59,891 ¶ La la la la la la la ¶¶ 236 00:11:01,128 --> 00:11:02,360 [instrumental music] 237 00:11:06,099 --> 00:11:08,400 Who do you think is on "Letterman" tonight? 238 00:11:11,104 --> 00:11:13,271 Probably Teri Garr. 239 00:11:15,776 --> 00:11:19,511 Maybe hopping the train was a bad idea. 240 00:11:19,513 --> 00:11:22,714 Maybe? Maybe.. 241 00:11:22,716 --> 00:11:24,983 Whatever possessed you 242 00:11:24,985 --> 00:11:27,552 to do such a thing? 243 00:11:27,554 --> 00:11:29,521 I am not sure. 244 00:11:29,523 --> 00:11:31,523 Isn't impetuosity a word? 245 00:11:31,525 --> 00:11:32,957 Yes, it is. 246 00:11:32,959 --> 00:11:36,828 Then I did it because I'm impetuosity. 247 00:11:36,830 --> 00:11:38,630 I couldn't help myself. 248 00:11:38,632 --> 00:11:43,201 You made riding the rails sound so exciting! 249 00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:44,669 Well.. 250 00:11:44,671 --> 00:11:45,737 [chuckles] 251 00:11:45,739 --> 00:11:47,072 As long as we're here 252 00:11:47,074 --> 00:11:49,040 we might as well enjoy ourselves, eh? 253 00:11:49,042 --> 00:11:51,142 Yeah, that's the spirit. 254 00:11:51,144 --> 00:11:54,546 Come on. Let's crack open a can of beans. 255 00:11:54,548 --> 00:11:56,881 What beans? We've got no beans. 256 00:11:56,883 --> 00:12:00,151 This trip was totally misrepresented. 257 00:12:00,153 --> 00:12:03,088 Look, let's just look out the door 258 00:12:03,090 --> 00:12:06,091 and-and-and watch the world go by. 259 00:12:07,728 --> 00:12:10,028 It's dark out. 260 00:12:10,030 --> 00:12:14,099 Let's just stare at the darkness. 261 00:12:14,101 --> 00:12:17,068 Stare at the darkness? 262 00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:19,304 What are you? A beatnik? 263 00:12:20,574 --> 00:12:23,108 Listen, this was your idea to ride the rails. 264 00:12:23,110 --> 00:12:24,409 Don't you think the least you could do 265 00:12:24,411 --> 00:12:26,745 is to try to make the most of it? 266 00:12:26,747 --> 00:12:30,014 Alright! Alright! I'll stare. 267 00:12:31,752 --> 00:12:33,318 [train chugging] 268 00:12:34,888 --> 00:12:36,855 (male #1) 'Litchfield? Flatcar?' 269 00:12:36,857 --> 00:12:38,089 'Is that you?' 270 00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:39,924 Willie! Willie, it's a hobo. 271 00:12:39,926 --> 00:12:41,359 Hide me. 272 00:12:49,302 --> 00:12:52,904 Uh, no, I'm sorry. We're not Litchfield and Flatcar. 273 00:12:52,906 --> 00:12:56,007 Don't be sorry. They got no teeth. 274 00:12:57,644 --> 00:12:59,944 - Where's your buddy? - Well, he's there. 275 00:12:59,946 --> 00:13:01,479 Just-just there behind the crates. 276 00:13:01,481 --> 00:13:02,947 He's...he's shy. 277 00:13:02,949 --> 00:13:04,616 He's terribly shy around strangers. 278 00:13:04,618 --> 00:13:08,286 Strangers? Hey, I'm no stranger. You are the stranger! 279 00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:11,122 I know everybody who rides the Rock Island line. 280 00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:12,457 Mighty good line. 281 00:13:12,459 --> 00:13:14,893 What? 282 00:13:14,895 --> 00:13:17,595 Never mind. Nothing, I-I, noth.. 283 00:13:17,597 --> 00:13:19,998 - You're a funny guy. - Oh. 284 00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:21,633 - Gravel Gus. - Willie Tanner. 285 00:13:21,635 --> 00:13:22,801 H-how do you do? 286 00:13:22,803 --> 00:13:24,669 Uh, say, Gravel Gus 287 00:13:24,671 --> 00:13:27,172 I guess you got your name because of your voice there. 288 00:13:27,174 --> 00:13:28,840 - Right? - No. 289 00:13:28,842 --> 00:13:31,643 It's because the first six times I tried to hop a freight 290 00:13:31,645 --> 00:13:34,679 I landed facedown in the gravel. 291 00:13:34,681 --> 00:13:36,648 Oh-oo-oo. 292 00:13:36,650 --> 00:13:39,551 It could be worse. Ask Cesspool Steve. 293 00:13:41,521 --> 00:13:43,388 Oh, double ooh. 294 00:13:48,662 --> 00:13:52,263 - How long you been riding? - Uh, since I was about 17. 295 00:13:52,265 --> 00:13:54,766 Of course, I took a break there for 30 years. 296 00:13:54,768 --> 00:13:59,070 30 years. That's how long I've been riding. 297 00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:03,174 I used to work on Madison Avenue. 298 00:14:03,176 --> 00:14:07,612 And one day I decided to chuck the A game. 299 00:14:07,614 --> 00:14:09,714 Here I am. 300 00:14:09,716 --> 00:14:12,283 That's a fascinating story. 301 00:14:12,285 --> 00:14:15,520 Yeah. Too bad it's not true. 302 00:14:15,522 --> 00:14:19,224 Hm. Actually I've always been a bum. 303 00:14:19,226 --> 00:14:21,192 Well, there's dignity in that. 304 00:14:21,194 --> 00:14:23,094 Not the way I done it. 305 00:14:24,030 --> 00:14:26,865 Hey, you guys want some beans? 306 00:14:26,867 --> 00:14:28,867 I do! I do! 307 00:14:28,869 --> 00:14:30,735 Ahh! A loose kangaroo! 308 00:14:30,737 --> 00:14:33,271 [screaming] 309 00:14:36,076 --> 00:14:37,675 Hey! Is he alright? 310 00:14:37,677 --> 00:14:41,279 Well, he fell facedown in a pile of gravel. 311 00:14:42,349 --> 00:14:44,549 Well, this is a fine how-do-you-do. 312 00:14:44,551 --> 00:14:48,186 No matter what happens, I get no beans. 313 00:14:48,188 --> 00:14:50,822 You know, I'm really getting tired of you whining. 314 00:14:50,824 --> 00:14:54,225 I'm getting tired of whining. So there! 315 00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:56,594 I guess I won't mention how cold it is. 316 00:14:56,596 --> 00:14:58,129 Thank you. 317 00:14:59,733 --> 00:15:02,567 Is it okay if I put my foot under your armpit? 318 00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:03,601 No, it's not! 319 00:15:03,603 --> 00:15:06,137 - Aren't you cold? - Yes, I am. 320 00:15:08,074 --> 00:15:12,644 Wouldn't you like to wrap your armpit around my nice warm foot? 321 00:15:14,614 --> 00:15:18,349 Look, ALF, if we don't think about the cold 322 00:15:18,351 --> 00:15:21,052 it's not going to be so bad. 323 00:15:21,054 --> 00:15:24,389 Fine. Live in a fantasy world. 324 00:15:24,391 --> 00:15:27,258 - Whoa! - Ow, ooh, Willie. 325 00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:29,727 - I bumped my head. - Oh, here, let me see. 326 00:15:29,729 --> 00:15:31,362 Ow, you're hurting me. 327 00:15:32,766 --> 00:15:34,565 Do you know, for someone who's traveled all the way 328 00:15:34,567 --> 00:15:37,268 across this universe and had all kinds of adventures 329 00:15:37,270 --> 00:15:39,037 climbed a flat mountain? 330 00:15:39,039 --> 00:15:42,674 You are an incredible baby. 331 00:15:45,412 --> 00:15:47,278 I never climbed Mount Floppy. 332 00:15:48,548 --> 00:15:50,882 What are you talkin' about? I saw you in the picture. 333 00:15:52,485 --> 00:15:54,452 It was taken at a carnival. 334 00:15:54,454 --> 00:15:57,755 I stuck my head through a cardboard cutout. 335 00:15:57,757 --> 00:16:00,091 It cost me a wernick. 336 00:16:00,093 --> 00:16:01,626 - A wernick? - Yeah. 337 00:16:01,628 --> 00:16:04,595 That's ten dollars on Melmac. 338 00:16:04,597 --> 00:16:06,264 Well, what about, what about 339 00:16:06,266 --> 00:16:08,266 that picture of you in that barrel? 340 00:16:08,268 --> 00:16:11,502 - I paid a matter for it. - What's a matter? 341 00:16:11,504 --> 00:16:14,138 Well, for one thing, I've got this bump on my head. 342 00:16:14,140 --> 00:16:16,307 Ha ha ha! 343 00:16:16,309 --> 00:16:17,909 Good one, huh? 344 00:16:19,646 --> 00:16:22,513 This was back when you were dating Rhonda? 345 00:16:22,515 --> 00:16:26,451 Yeah, but there was no such thing as dating on Melmac. 346 00:16:26,453 --> 00:16:29,253 If you liked a girl, you took her to dinner 347 00:16:29,255 --> 00:16:30,521 and a movie. 348 00:16:32,158 --> 00:16:34,826 Just sounds remarkably like dating. 349 00:16:34,828 --> 00:16:38,830 We called it taking a girl to dinner and a movie. 350 00:16:38,832 --> 00:16:41,132 Uh, just like there were no telephones. 351 00:16:41,134 --> 00:16:45,336 They were called those plastic things on the counter that ring. 352 00:16:47,040 --> 00:16:48,539 Of course. Of course. 353 00:16:48,541 --> 00:16:51,376 It's just as plain as this breathing apparatus on my face. 354 00:16:52,846 --> 00:16:54,545 That's your nose, Willie. 355 00:16:54,547 --> 00:16:59,183 Why must you needlessly complicate everything? 356 00:16:59,185 --> 00:17:00,284 Please continue. 357 00:17:00,286 --> 00:17:01,652 [clears throat] 358 00:17:01,654 --> 00:17:04,856 Well, I just started going out with Rhonda 359 00:17:04,858 --> 00:17:06,524 when my planet blew up. 360 00:17:07,694 --> 00:17:10,194 Unlucky in love. 361 00:17:10,196 --> 00:17:12,663 Unlucky in Armageddon. 362 00:17:12,665 --> 00:17:14,198 I'm sorry, ALF. 363 00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:16,968 Hey, at least I don't worry anymore. 364 00:17:16,970 --> 00:17:21,039 When my planet blew up, I realized one thing. 365 00:17:21,041 --> 00:17:23,941 You have to live every moment to the fullest. 366 00:17:25,879 --> 00:17:27,478 Oh, look, Willie 367 00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:29,881 that's where Melmac used to be. 368 00:17:29,883 --> 00:17:31,382 Where? 369 00:17:31,384 --> 00:17:33,051 That spot up there where it looks like 370 00:17:33,053 --> 00:17:34,552 there should be a planet. 371 00:17:36,689 --> 00:17:39,590 Oh, look, ALF, it's a shooting star. 372 00:17:39,592 --> 00:17:41,726 Make a wish. 373 00:17:41,728 --> 00:17:43,294 Okay. 374 00:17:46,066 --> 00:17:47,632 Well, what did you wish? 375 00:17:48,735 --> 00:17:50,935 I wished I had my planet back. 376 00:17:50,937 --> 00:17:52,570 Oh. 377 00:17:52,572 --> 00:17:53,938 ALF. 378 00:17:53,940 --> 00:17:56,974 [harmonica music] 379 00:18:00,413 --> 00:18:03,114 Well, cheer up, ALF, because at least you know 380 00:18:03,116 --> 00:18:04,682 your friends are still out there. 381 00:18:04,684 --> 00:18:06,584 Maybe-maybe you'll meet up someday. 382 00:18:06,586 --> 00:18:08,586 May-maybe you and Rhonda will get together. 383 00:18:08,588 --> 00:18:10,588 Maybe you'll get married. 384 00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:14,092 Yeah. Hey, I'm still young. 385 00:18:14,094 --> 00:18:18,896 If I'm not married by the time I hit the big four-O-O 386 00:18:18,898 --> 00:18:20,498 then I'll panic. 387 00:18:21,401 --> 00:18:23,634 Maybe I'll marry Lynn. 388 00:18:23,636 --> 00:18:26,938 - What? - I'm kidding. Cool down. 389 00:18:26,940 --> 00:18:30,308 Okay, I'm cool, I'm cool. 390 00:18:30,310 --> 00:18:31,476 Uh, you are kidding about that? 391 00:18:31,478 --> 00:18:33,678 - Yes! - Okay, I'm cool. 392 00:18:35,115 --> 00:18:37,281 I guess you always knew you were gonna get married 393 00:18:37,283 --> 00:18:38,816 and settle down, huh? 394 00:18:38,818 --> 00:18:40,284 Well, actually, uh.. 395 00:18:40,286 --> 00:18:43,254 ...I didn't really ever think I really would. 396 00:18:43,256 --> 00:18:44,455 No luck with the babes? 397 00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:47,425 No, I had babes. I mean, I had girlfriends. 398 00:18:47,427 --> 00:18:50,761 I just, uh, I didn't think I.. 399 00:18:50,763 --> 00:18:53,097 I wanted to do the things my father did. 400 00:18:53,099 --> 00:18:54,432 [train horn blowing] 401 00:18:54,434 --> 00:18:55,766 What was he like? 402 00:18:55,768 --> 00:18:57,802 Well. 403 00:18:57,804 --> 00:19:01,606 You know, he was married, two kids, lived in the suburbs. 404 00:19:01,608 --> 00:19:04,709 Wow. And you're his son. 405 00:19:06,746 --> 00:19:08,913 I'm sorry, Willie, go on. 406 00:19:08,915 --> 00:19:12,350 I just, I wanted my life to be more exciting than his was. 407 00:19:12,352 --> 00:19:14,986 That's all. That's why I started.. 408 00:19:14,988 --> 00:19:17,922 That's why I started riding the rails. 409 00:19:17,924 --> 00:19:19,490 So what happened? 410 00:19:19,492 --> 00:19:22,693 Well, I met a girl in Colorado. 411 00:19:22,695 --> 00:19:24,529 We were working in this restaurant. 412 00:19:24,531 --> 00:19:26,497 She-she was saving her money to go to California. 413 00:19:26,499 --> 00:19:29,000 She wanted to be an actress. 414 00:19:29,002 --> 00:19:31,502 And I don't know, we started going out together 415 00:19:31,504 --> 00:19:33,304 and before I knew it, I.. 416 00:19:33,306 --> 00:19:36,440 ...I-I fell in love. 417 00:19:36,442 --> 00:19:38,342 Why, I never knew Kate wanted to be an actress. 418 00:19:38,344 --> 00:19:39,677 No. It wasn't Kate. 419 00:19:39,679 --> 00:19:41,512 It was Linda Evans. 420 00:19:44,350 --> 00:19:45,550 That's the truth. 421 00:19:45,552 --> 00:19:48,085 Really? You dated her? 422 00:19:50,023 --> 00:19:53,191 Well, way to go, Willie. 423 00:19:53,193 --> 00:19:55,026 What happened? 424 00:19:55,028 --> 00:19:56,627 Oh, I don't know. 425 00:19:56,629 --> 00:19:59,697 She set out to find the footlights 426 00:19:59,699 --> 00:20:04,302 and I set out to find the sky. 427 00:20:04,304 --> 00:20:07,205 Boy, you showed her. 428 00:20:07,207 --> 00:20:09,874 Well, it's just as well, I found the girl of my dreams 429 00:20:09,876 --> 00:20:13,377 I found that girl, that one girl I wanted to spent the whole 430 00:20:13,379 --> 00:20:15,680 rest of my life with. 431 00:20:15,682 --> 00:20:19,383 - Joan Collins? - Kate. 432 00:20:19,385 --> 00:20:22,053 - Kate. - Oh, right. Yeah. 433 00:20:22,055 --> 00:20:24,388 Well, you married the right girl. 434 00:20:24,390 --> 00:20:26,057 Linda's much too busy. 435 00:20:26,059 --> 00:20:29,193 She'd never be home in time to tuck me in. 436 00:20:29,195 --> 00:20:31,128 Well, I'm so glad you approve. 437 00:20:32,599 --> 00:20:36,067 Kate's made me a very happy man, you know. 438 00:20:36,069 --> 00:20:39,604 Yeah, but you better face it, Willie. 439 00:20:39,606 --> 00:20:43,040 You did follow in your father's footsteps. 440 00:20:43,042 --> 00:20:44,709 Yeah, but I found out 441 00:20:44,711 --> 00:20:48,379 there's a lot of adventure out there in the suburbs. 442 00:20:48,381 --> 00:20:49,447 There is. 443 00:20:49,449 --> 00:20:50,581 Buying our house 444 00:20:50,583 --> 00:20:52,216 having our first Christmas 445 00:20:52,218 --> 00:20:55,519 seeing Lynne come out of the delivery room.. 446 00:20:55,521 --> 00:20:58,689 ...hearing Brian say "Dad," you know? 447 00:20:59,559 --> 00:21:01,125 Hey. Hey. 448 00:21:01,127 --> 00:21:05,596 What about that pesky alien crashing through your roof? 449 00:21:05,598 --> 00:21:07,598 That's certainly been an adventure. 450 00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:09,934 Yeah, for me too. 451 00:21:13,239 --> 00:21:14,639 Willie.. 452 00:21:15,975 --> 00:21:19,176 ...do you ever wish I hadn't crashed through your roof? 453 00:21:24,484 --> 00:21:26,183 Never. 454 00:21:27,787 --> 00:21:29,153 Thanks.. 455 00:21:30,323 --> 00:21:31,622 ...dad! 456 00:21:32,925 --> 00:21:34,859 [laughs] 457 00:21:37,130 --> 00:21:38,229 Yeah. 458 00:21:38,231 --> 00:21:39,797 [laughing] 459 00:21:39,799 --> 00:21:41,999 [instrumental music] 460 00:21:45,738 --> 00:21:49,307 [instrumental music] 461 00:21:49,309 --> 00:21:52,310 [phone ringing] 462 00:21:52,312 --> 00:21:55,313 Hello? Willie! 463 00:21:55,315 --> 00:21:57,014 Willie, where are you? 464 00:22:00,353 --> 00:22:02,953 You're kidding. 465 00:22:02,955 --> 00:22:07,325 well, honey, I'll be there as soon as I can. 466 00:22:07,327 --> 00:22:09,694 I'm glad I married you too. 467 00:22:11,097 --> 00:22:12,697 Are dad and ALF alright? 468 00:22:12,699 --> 00:22:17,168 They are Barstow. They've been riding the rails. 469 00:22:17,170 --> 00:22:18,936 That's fantastic. 470 00:22:20,673 --> 00:22:23,674 I mean that's terrible. Bad dad. 471 00:22:23,676 --> 00:22:26,177 - Bad ALF. - I'll pick them up. 472 00:22:28,715 --> 00:22:31,382 What's riding in the rails? 473 00:22:31,384 --> 00:22:35,286 Uh, something that your father did a long time ago 474 00:22:35,288 --> 00:22:37,855 and that you will never do. 475 00:22:37,857 --> 00:22:41,125 Oh, you mean like dating Linda Evans? 476 00:22:41,127 --> 00:22:42,927 That's right. 477 00:22:44,230 --> 00:22:46,230 [instrumental music] 478 00:22:52,205 --> 00:22:56,073 Well, I found a mini-mart down the road. I called Kate. 479 00:22:56,075 --> 00:22:59,643 She said.. She says she'll be here in a couple of hours. 480 00:22:59,645 --> 00:23:01,645 A couple of hours? 481 00:23:01,647 --> 00:23:03,681 What are we gonna do till then? 482 00:23:03,683 --> 00:23:05,750 [crickets chirping] 483 00:23:05,752 --> 00:23:09,120 Beans! Hey, way to go, Boxcar. 484 00:23:09,889 --> 00:23:11,122 To Gus. 485 00:23:12,992 --> 00:23:14,825 You know.. 486 00:23:14,827 --> 00:23:17,428 ...I had a lot of fun today, ALF. 487 00:23:17,430 --> 00:23:20,498 - Thanks. - My pleasure. 488 00:23:20,500 --> 00:23:22,366 We'll do this again sometime. 489 00:23:22,368 --> 00:23:24,335 That's what you think. 490 00:23:27,206 --> 00:23:28,873 [humming] 491 00:23:28,875 --> 00:23:31,709 ¶ Good morning America ¶ 492 00:23:31,711 --> 00:23:33,911 ¶ How are ya? ¶ 493 00:23:33,913 --> 00:23:35,513 ¶ Don't you know me? ¶ 494 00:23:35,515 --> 00:23:37,848 ¶ I'm your native son ¶ 495 00:23:39,585 --> 00:23:41,619 ¶ I'm the train they call ¶ 496 00:23:41,621 --> 00:23:45,856 ¶ The city of New Orleans ¶ 497 00:23:45,858 --> 00:23:49,126 ¶ And I'll be gone 500 miles ¶ ¶ And I'll be gone 500 miles ¶ 498 00:23:49,128 --> 00:23:51,295 ¶ When the day is done ¶ ¶ When the day is done ¶ 499 00:23:52,732 --> 00:23:54,765 [both humming] 500 00:23:57,703 --> 00:23:59,870 ¶ Just be quiet just be quiet ¶ 501 00:23:59,872 --> 00:24:01,939 ¶ Just be quiet ¶¶ 502 00:24:03,409 --> 00:24:06,143 [theme music] 503 00:24:30,403 --> 00:24:32,036 [ALF laughing] 38127

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