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1
00:00:03,137 --> 00:00:07,172
Now I ask you, is this a pirate,
or is this a pirate?
2
00:00:07,174 --> 00:00:08,107
Hmm.
3
00:00:08,109 --> 00:00:09,174
(Kate)
'Lynnie?'
4
00:00:09,176 --> 00:00:11,010
Oh. It's a pirate, mom.
5
00:00:12,780 --> 00:00:15,114
- Willie?
- Uh, definitely a pirate.
6
00:00:17,118 --> 00:00:18,450
Good morning.
7
00:00:20,554 --> 00:00:22,121
What are you wearing?
8
00:00:22,123 --> 00:00:24,857
Touch of your aftershave.
9
00:00:24,859 --> 00:00:28,160
No, I meant
those silly glasses.
10
00:00:28,162 --> 00:00:31,530
Silly glasses?
Look who's talking.
11
00:00:31,532 --> 00:00:33,399
This is my Halloween costume.
12
00:00:34,568 --> 00:00:36,835
What are you supposed to be?
13
00:00:36,837 --> 00:00:38,203
Gene Shalit.
14
00:00:39,306 --> 00:00:41,206
Too obscure?
15
00:00:41,208 --> 00:00:44,143
You're not planning on going
trick-or-treating, are you?
16
00:00:44,145 --> 00:00:46,311
Are you kidding? I can't wait.
17
00:00:46,313 --> 00:00:49,848
I'm gonna come back
with a bag full of candy apples
18
00:00:49,850 --> 00:00:53,052
popcorn balls and cats.
19
00:00:53,054 --> 00:00:56,388
ALF, no one's
gonna give you a cat.
20
00:00:56,390 --> 00:01:00,359
Well, that's right.
You have to bob for cats.
21
00:01:00,361 --> 00:01:02,428
[theme music]
22
00:01:29,256 --> 00:01:31,256
[music continues]
23
00:02:02,923 --> 00:02:04,189
[instrumental music]
24
00:02:11,298 --> 00:02:12,397
What's the matter?
25
00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:15,968
Oh, I-I can't sleep.
26
00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:23,675
It's my job promotion.
I-I think I blew it.
27
00:02:23,677 --> 00:02:26,278
What? Honey, how?
28
00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:27,513
Well, today Mr. Burke
took me off
29
00:02:27,515 --> 00:02:30,149
that teen runaway project
I was working on.
30
00:02:30,151 --> 00:02:32,317
I was working on that project
for three months!
31
00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:34,153
- You're kidding!
- No, honey.
32
00:02:34,155 --> 00:02:38,157
He needs me, he says,
for an internal investigation.
33
00:02:38,159 --> 00:02:40,692
So I have to go through
all the requisition files
34
00:02:40,694 --> 00:02:43,362
and see if I can locate
his missing water cooler.
35
00:02:45,032 --> 00:02:46,999
Well, I hope you yelled at him.
36
00:02:47,001 --> 00:02:49,001
I sure did.
37
00:02:49,003 --> 00:02:52,838
But I think I can
kiss that promotion..
38
00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:54,973
...goodbye.
39
00:02:54,975 --> 00:02:58,110
Oh, honey,
you can kiss me goodnight.
40
00:02:58,112 --> 00:02:59,878
I'm proud of you.
41
00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:01,980
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
42
00:03:01,982 --> 00:03:04,216
[both chuckle]
43
00:03:13,227 --> 00:03:15,227
Oh, good, you're up.
44
00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:21,066
Get out of here!
45
00:03:21,068 --> 00:03:24,236
Not until we get this Halloween
thing straightened out.
46
00:03:24,238 --> 00:03:26,205
[sighs]
We already said no, ALF.
47
00:03:26,207 --> 00:03:28,307
You cannot go out
trick-or-treating for candy.
48
00:03:28,309 --> 00:03:31,076
Forget that fear
of cavities, Kate.
49
00:03:31,078 --> 00:03:33,378
I brush once a month,
like clockwork.
50
00:03:34,682 --> 00:03:36,982
We're not talking
about cavities, ALF.
51
00:03:36,984 --> 00:03:39,184
We're talking about
somebody seeing you.
52
00:03:39,186 --> 00:03:40,219
Come on, Will-height
53
00:03:40,221 --> 00:03:43,322
this body is the perfect
Halloween costume.
54
00:03:43,324 --> 00:03:47,392
Besides I have to get out
and see new faces.
55
00:03:47,394 --> 00:03:49,595
Why you ask?
56
00:03:49,597 --> 00:03:51,230
I didn't ask why.
57
00:03:51,232 --> 00:03:54,099
- Well, would you?
- Why?
58
00:03:55,436 --> 00:03:57,536
Why what?
59
00:03:57,538 --> 00:04:00,272
Why do you have to get out
and see new faces?
60
00:04:00,274 --> 00:04:04,343
Why the third degree? I just
want to go trick-or-treating.
61
00:04:04,345 --> 00:04:08,280
You can't, ALF,
it's too dangerous.
62
00:04:08,282 --> 00:04:10,616
Then you leave me no choice.
63
00:04:10,618 --> 00:04:12,351
Read it and weep.
64
00:04:14,622 --> 00:04:17,189
"Free the Halloween one?"
65
00:04:17,191 --> 00:04:19,458
It's a petition signed
by America's
66
00:04:19,460 --> 00:04:21,193
most prominent citizens.
67
00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:25,564
"We demand that you let ALF
go trick-or-treating.
68
00:04:25,566 --> 00:04:28,533
"Signed Presidents Reagan,
Carter, Ford, Lincoln..
69
00:04:30,371 --> 00:04:31,870
...and Mercury."
70
00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:35,407
This is your handwriting.
71
00:04:35,409 --> 00:04:37,209
Hey, it's a joke, man.
72
00:04:37,211 --> 00:04:39,244
My way of saying,
let the funny little alien
73
00:04:39,246 --> 00:04:41,713
have a crack
at the outside world
74
00:04:41,715 --> 00:04:43,415
for one lousy night!
75
00:04:43,417 --> 00:04:45,284
No.
76
00:04:45,286 --> 00:04:48,754
Alright, I'm taking this
to the supreme court.
77
00:04:48,756 --> 00:04:51,990
All the way to Chief Justice
Pontiac, I suppose.
78
00:04:53,227 --> 00:04:55,594
Look, look,
I'll make you a deal.
79
00:04:55,596 --> 00:04:57,396
You let me go out for Halloween
80
00:04:57,398 --> 00:05:00,065
and I'll tell you how you
could still get that promotion.
81
00:05:01,802 --> 00:05:03,935
How do you know about that?
82
00:05:03,937 --> 00:05:07,272
The amazing ALF
knows everything.
83
00:05:07,274 --> 00:05:10,342
Was the amazing ALF listening
at our door again?
84
00:05:10,344 --> 00:05:13,245
The amazing ALF
never reveals his secrets.
85
00:05:14,915 --> 00:05:16,982
Anyway,
what we have to do here
86
00:05:16,984 --> 00:05:19,084
is dig up some dirt
on your boss.
87
00:05:19,086 --> 00:05:23,855
Does he steal from the company?
Go to the salad bar illegally?
88
00:05:23,857 --> 00:05:25,357
Chew with his mouth open?
89
00:05:25,359 --> 00:05:28,660
- You chew with your mouth open.
- Oh, smart, Willie.
90
00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:32,264
Dig up dirt on me.
I can't give you that promotion.
91
00:05:33,334 --> 00:05:35,200
Goodnight, ALF.
92
00:05:35,202 --> 00:05:37,969
Alright, alright, wait.
Forget the dirt.
93
00:05:37,971 --> 00:05:41,139
Get the bossman
to like you again.
94
00:05:41,141 --> 00:05:43,809
Invite him to a party
and butter him up.
95
00:05:43,811 --> 00:05:46,545
I'm not gonna give a party
to butter up my boss.
96
00:05:46,547 --> 00:05:50,515
Who do you think I am,
Dagwood Bumstead?
97
00:05:50,517 --> 00:05:53,151
Think very carefully..
98
00:05:53,153 --> 00:05:55,354
...before you answer that.
99
00:05:56,357 --> 00:05:59,024
Oh, Willie,
a-a party might be fun.
100
00:05:59,026 --> 00:06:01,360
I can't think of the last time
that we had a party.
101
00:06:01,362 --> 00:06:04,563
I mean, our social lives
kinda gone to pot since..
102
00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:08,233
...since you-know-who arrived.
103
00:06:08,235 --> 00:06:10,469
- Who?
- You.
104
00:06:10,471 --> 00:06:12,237
You mean all those times
you complained
105
00:06:12,239 --> 00:06:15,407
about you-know-who, it was me?
106
00:06:16,143 --> 00:06:17,542
So what do you say, honey?
107
00:06:17,544 --> 00:06:20,078
Let's have a party
and have a few people over.
108
00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:22,881
Oh, okay, but not my boss.
109
00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:24,549
I'll handle Mr. Burke myself
110
00:06:24,551 --> 00:06:27,252
in...my own way.
111
00:06:27,254 --> 00:06:28,320
Oh, good thinking.
112
00:06:28,322 --> 00:06:31,390
Have a party
and exclude the boss.
113
00:06:31,392 --> 00:06:34,159
Better yet, walk in tomorrow
morning and hit him with mud.
114
00:06:37,197 --> 00:06:38,964
Oh, brother.
115
00:06:44,872 --> 00:06:46,972
[doorbell rings]
116
00:06:51,445 --> 00:06:53,044
- Trick or treat?
- Trick or treat?
117
00:06:53,046 --> 00:06:55,414
Oh, what do we have here?
118
00:06:55,416 --> 00:06:57,682
We are The Three Stooges.
119
00:06:57,684 --> 00:06:58,884
Three?
120
00:06:58,886 --> 00:07:01,353
Well, Moe had to go
to the bathroom.
121
00:07:02,356 --> 00:07:03,755
Oh.
122
00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:06,958
Well, here, and,
uh, take one for Moe.
123
00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:08,527
- Thank you.
- Happy Halloween.
124
00:07:08,529 --> 00:07:09,795
- Happy Halloween.
- Happy Halloween.
125
00:07:09,797 --> 00:07:11,263
(both)
Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.
126
00:07:11,265 --> 00:07:14,099
Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck,
nyuck, nyuck..
127
00:07:14,101 --> 00:07:16,401
- More Stooges?
- 'Yeah.'
128
00:07:16,403 --> 00:07:17,369
Okay, now where is ALF?
129
00:07:17,371 --> 00:07:19,438
Oh, he's, uh,
he's in the garage.
130
00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:22,374
Say, Kate,
the house looks great.
131
00:07:22,376 --> 00:07:25,710
Of course, that's probably
because ALF's in the garage.
132
00:07:25,712 --> 00:07:29,047
Honey, do you think that I made
enough punch for 12?
133
00:07:29,049 --> 00:07:30,916
To drink or to bathe in?
134
00:07:30,918 --> 00:07:32,117
[doorbell rings]
135
00:07:32,119 --> 00:07:33,418
(Brian)
'Trick or treat?'
136
00:07:33,420 --> 00:07:35,387
(Lynn)
'Oh, Brian, just open the door.'
137
00:07:36,957 --> 00:07:39,391
(Kate)
'Oh, Blackbeard is home!'
138
00:07:39,393 --> 00:07:41,626
And look, will you
139
00:07:41,628 --> 00:07:43,929
look at all that booty!
140
00:07:43,931 --> 00:07:45,330
Ar-r-rah!
141
00:07:46,667 --> 00:07:48,333
I wanna go out again.
142
00:07:48,335 --> 00:07:50,402
Brian, we went to 32 houses.
143
00:07:50,404 --> 00:07:51,570
Yeah, in eight minutes.
144
00:07:51,572 --> 00:07:53,271
Well, I had to get back
to change for the party.
145
00:07:53,273 --> 00:07:56,308
Lizard will be here any minute.
146
00:07:56,310 --> 00:07:57,309
Lizard?
147
00:07:57,311 --> 00:07:59,177
You heard that too?
148
00:07:59,179 --> 00:08:00,579
What-what kind of name
is Lizard?
149
00:08:00,581 --> 00:08:02,848
I have a friend in school
called frog.
150
00:08:02,850 --> 00:08:04,516
Well, why do they
call him that?
151
00:08:04,518 --> 00:08:06,084
Because he's a frog.
152
00:08:07,354 --> 00:08:09,154
Makes sense.
153
00:08:09,156 --> 00:08:10,856
I gotta go in the garage,
I gotta give ALF
154
00:08:10,858 --> 00:08:12,090
his share of the candy.
155
00:08:12,092 --> 00:08:13,925
Seventy percent.
156
00:08:13,927 --> 00:08:16,261
Seventy percent is a lot.
157
00:08:16,263 --> 00:08:18,163
He wanted ninety!
158
00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:21,533
We have a daughter
dating a lizard
159
00:08:21,535 --> 00:08:24,369
and an alien shaking down
our son for candy.
160
00:08:25,639 --> 00:08:27,239
Let's party.
161
00:08:29,476 --> 00:08:31,309
Whoa!
162
00:08:31,311 --> 00:08:32,477
Yeah!
163
00:08:32,479 --> 00:08:34,145
Great haul, Brian.
164
00:08:34,147 --> 00:08:35,213
Thanks.
165
00:08:35,215 --> 00:08:36,548
I'll guard these.
166
00:08:36,550 --> 00:08:37,816
You get back in the house.
167
00:08:37,818 --> 00:08:39,284
The party's gonna start soon.
168
00:08:39,286 --> 00:08:41,486
Oh, but I hate parties.
169
00:08:41,488 --> 00:08:42,387
Everyone pats me on the head
170
00:08:42,389 --> 00:08:44,823
and says
I'm growing up too fast.
171
00:08:44,825 --> 00:08:47,859
Cut the small talk!
Let's divide up the loot.
172
00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:51,830
Okay, one for you.
One for me.
173
00:08:51,832 --> 00:08:53,565
One for you.
174
00:08:53,567 --> 00:08:55,200
One for me.
175
00:08:55,202 --> 00:08:57,335
One for me.
176
00:08:57,337 --> 00:08:59,070
One for me.
177
00:08:59,072 --> 00:09:01,373
Not so fast, me bucko!
178
00:09:02,809 --> 00:09:05,043
You are growing up too fast.
179
00:09:06,647 --> 00:09:07,979
We'll do this right.
180
00:09:09,416 --> 00:09:10,715
One for me.
181
00:09:10,717 --> 00:09:12,284
One for you.
182
00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:17,389
- Did you see ALF?
- Yeah.
183
00:09:17,391 --> 00:09:19,257
And I still have some
candy left.
184
00:09:19,259 --> 00:09:20,892
He must be losing his touch.
185
00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:21,927
[doorbell rings]
186
00:09:21,929 --> 00:09:24,162
Oh, I'll get it.
187
00:09:28,335 --> 00:09:30,001
- Hi, Lynn.
- Hi, Lizard.
188
00:09:30,003 --> 00:09:32,871
Mom, dad, this is Lizard.
189
00:09:32,873 --> 00:09:34,372
Hello, Lizard.
190
00:09:34,374 --> 00:09:36,608
Oh, no, uh,
you can call me Eric.
191
00:09:36,610 --> 00:09:39,010
You see, he got his nickname
in Biology class
192
00:09:39,012 --> 00:09:41,212
because he removed
a brain tumor from a lizard.
193
00:09:41,214 --> 00:09:42,247
Now it's as good as new.
194
00:09:42,249 --> 00:09:44,115
Yeah, well, not really.
195
00:09:44,117 --> 00:09:46,484
It can only, uh,
flick its tongue to the left.
196
00:09:48,255 --> 00:09:51,423
Very good. Even so that's really
quite an achievement.
197
00:09:51,425 --> 00:09:53,625
Oh, tell them about the iguana.
198
00:09:53,627 --> 00:09:55,260
- Nah.
- Tell 'em.
199
00:09:55,262 --> 00:10:00,298
Ah, nothin', you know, it's just
a simple bypass surgery.
200
00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:01,800
You must be very good at
Biology.
201
00:10:01,802 --> 00:10:04,536
Were you, were you thinking
of becoming a surgeon?
202
00:10:04,538 --> 00:10:06,938
Yeah, I thought about it but,
uh, Quantum Physics
203
00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:09,240
is my first love.
204
00:10:09,242 --> 00:10:12,410
Young man, you may not only
date my daughter
205
00:10:12,412 --> 00:10:14,145
you may have her hand
in marriage.
206
00:10:14,147 --> 00:10:15,747
- Oh.
- Dad.
207
00:10:15,749 --> 00:10:17,816
[laughing]
208
00:10:17,818 --> 00:10:19,284
(Kate)
So glad you're here.
209
00:10:22,923 --> 00:10:24,322
Howdy, partner.
210
00:10:24,324 --> 00:10:27,292
- 'Hey!'
- Hey-hey, Ed.
211
00:10:27,294 --> 00:10:28,827
- Bernice.
- Hi!
212
00:10:28,829 --> 00:10:30,962
Look at you guys.
213
00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:32,564
- You're wearing costumes.
- Yeah.
214
00:10:32,566 --> 00:10:34,566
But we call them duds.
215
00:10:36,069 --> 00:10:37,836
Well, um,
why don't we mosey on over
216
00:10:37,838 --> 00:10:39,471
and rustle up some brie.
217
00:10:41,508 --> 00:10:43,208
[doorbell rings]
218
00:10:45,345 --> 00:10:47,812
- Hello.
- Who are you?
219
00:10:47,814 --> 00:10:49,014
We're the Burkes.
220
00:10:49,016 --> 00:10:50,415
Kate, it's my boss.
221
00:10:50,417 --> 00:10:52,317
This must be Brian.
222
00:10:52,319 --> 00:10:55,286
You're growing up too fast.
223
00:10:55,288 --> 00:10:57,822
That's it.
I'm going to bed.
224
00:10:57,824 --> 00:10:59,357
Did you invite them?
225
00:10:59,359 --> 00:11:01,926
- Of course not!
- Well, why is he here then?
226
00:11:01,928 --> 00:11:04,262
And why
are they wearing costumes?
227
00:11:04,264 --> 00:11:06,965
Maybe they're just
trick-or-treating.
228
00:11:06,967 --> 00:11:08,099
What-what am I supposed to do?
229
00:11:08,101 --> 00:11:09,134
Offer them a peanut butter cup
230
00:11:09,136 --> 00:11:11,169
and send them on their way?
231
00:11:12,472 --> 00:11:14,372
- 'Hello, Tanner.'
- Hello.
232
00:11:14,374 --> 00:11:15,473
Thank you for inviting us.
233
00:11:15,475 --> 00:11:18,476
Well, you're welcome,
Your Majesties.
234
00:11:18,478 --> 00:11:20,679
Uh, w-won't you
make yourself at home?
235
00:11:20,681 --> 00:11:23,314
Our castle is your castle.
236
00:11:23,316 --> 00:11:25,283
[doorbell rings]
237
00:11:27,521 --> 00:11:29,888
How come you told me
this was a costume party?
238
00:11:29,890 --> 00:11:32,957
Because that's what
the invitation said.
239
00:11:32,959 --> 00:11:34,859
Make yourself at home,
won't you?
240
00:11:34,861 --> 00:11:36,327
Kate..
241
00:11:36,329 --> 00:11:38,229
...uh, somebody seems to have
242
00:11:38,231 --> 00:11:40,899
invited the Burkes
and also told all these people
243
00:11:40,901 --> 00:11:42,367
that they should
be wearing costumes.
244
00:11:42,369 --> 00:11:44,536
Now, I don't know who that was,
or why he did it
245
00:11:44,538 --> 00:11:47,038
but I'm gonna go into
the garage and strangle him.
246
00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:49,274
[doorbell rings]
247
00:11:50,377 --> 00:11:52,310
Kate, Willie!
248
00:11:53,647 --> 00:11:55,046
Gordon Shumway.
249
00:11:55,048 --> 00:11:56,748
Long time no see.
250
00:11:58,518 --> 00:12:00,752
Oh, hope you don't mind, Willie.
I parked behind your boss.
251
00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:09,394
Hey, how are you folks?
Hey, you look good in vinyl.
252
00:12:09,396 --> 00:12:11,496
How you doing?
Nice to meet you.
253
00:12:11,498 --> 00:12:13,998
Hey, happy Halloween everybody!
254
00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:15,266
(all)
Happy Halloween!
255
00:12:15,268 --> 00:12:18,670
Say, what are you..
256
00:12:18,672 --> 00:12:20,105
...doing here?
257
00:12:20,107 --> 00:12:22,540
Greeting the guests. Hey, tex!
258
00:12:22,542 --> 00:12:25,076
Looks like you're putting
on a little weight there, huh?
259
00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:27,345
Ha, ha, ha!
260
00:12:27,347 --> 00:12:28,747
Could I speak with you
in the kitchen
261
00:12:28,749 --> 00:12:29,881
just for a moment?
262
00:12:29,883 --> 00:12:31,416
Hey, not now, Willie.
263
00:12:31,418 --> 00:12:33,118
Your pumpkin's on fire.
264
00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:35,553
Hah! His pumpkin's on fire!
265
00:12:35,555 --> 00:12:37,589
Come here!
266
00:12:37,591 --> 00:12:39,457
Well, who is this little guy?
267
00:12:39,459 --> 00:12:41,292
Oh, this is Gordon, everyone.
268
00:12:41,294 --> 00:12:44,195
Gordon's an old friend
of our family.
269
00:12:44,197 --> 00:12:45,797
Bernice, uh,
don't mention his height.
270
00:12:45,799 --> 00:12:47,766
He's very sensitive.
271
00:12:47,768 --> 00:12:50,235
Hey, cowgirl, nice calves.
272
00:12:50,237 --> 00:12:52,470
Hah! Nice calves!
273
00:12:52,472 --> 00:12:53,638
[laughs]
274
00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:55,373
- Easy.
- Oh!
275
00:12:59,079 --> 00:13:01,646
Okay, mister,
I want the truth!
276
00:13:01,648 --> 00:13:02,714
And I want it now!
277
00:13:03,984 --> 00:13:05,250
Alright.
278
00:13:05,252 --> 00:13:07,485
Your hair is thinning.
279
00:13:08,722 --> 00:13:11,089
You got a hold
of our guest list, didn't you?
280
00:13:11,091 --> 00:13:12,924
You called those people
281
00:13:12,926 --> 00:13:14,659
and told them to wear costumes
282
00:13:14,661 --> 00:13:16,728
just so you could come.
283
00:13:16,730 --> 00:13:19,497
You dragged me in here to tell
me things I already know?
284
00:13:21,234 --> 00:13:24,903
On top of that,
you invited the Burkes!
285
00:13:24,905 --> 00:13:27,205
Again, old news.
286
00:13:29,009 --> 00:13:32,510
Just...tell me why.
287
00:13:32,512 --> 00:13:35,613
Because I really want you
to get that promotion.
288
00:13:35,615 --> 00:13:38,750
Now-now get out there
and start kissing up.
289
00:13:38,752 --> 00:13:39,751
[kissing]
290
00:13:41,621 --> 00:13:43,488
I'm not kissing up to anyone.
291
00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:46,024
Especially, not Walter Burke!
292
00:13:46,026 --> 00:13:47,525
I knew you wouldn't.
293
00:13:47,527 --> 00:13:49,627
That's why I'm here
to do it for you.
294
00:13:49,629 --> 00:13:51,462
Oh, Wally! Wally!
295
00:13:51,464 --> 00:13:53,498
No, wait! Wait.
296
00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:54,599
You can't go out there.
297
00:13:54,601 --> 00:13:57,435
What if they discover
that you're an alien?
298
00:13:57,437 --> 00:14:00,638
They won't! They'll think
I'm wearing a costume.
299
00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:01,573
See?
300
00:14:03,543 --> 00:14:05,310
Where-where did you
get that zipper?
301
00:14:05,312 --> 00:14:07,612
Well, you know that old jacket
that you were gonna throw out?
302
00:14:07,614 --> 00:14:09,514
- Yeah.
- Better hang on to it.
303
00:14:09,516 --> 00:14:12,283
I ripped this out
of your new raincoat.
304
00:14:12,285 --> 00:14:13,518
Alright, go on.
Go out there.
305
00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:17,622
I don't care.
Go on. Fine with me!
306
00:14:17,624 --> 00:14:20,158
Blow your cover, that's fine!
Just do me one favor.
307
00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:24,596
Okay, okay.
I'll do my Elvis impression.
308
00:14:25,498 --> 00:14:28,867
Please, keep away from my boss.
309
00:14:28,869 --> 00:14:31,636
No problem.
He seems like a yutz, anyway.
310
00:14:33,707 --> 00:14:37,375
(ALF)
'Okay, everybody,
let's tear this place apart.'
311
00:14:41,014 --> 00:14:43,314
- Hi. Come in.
- Hi.
312
00:14:43,316 --> 00:14:44,916
Mom, look who's here.
313
00:14:46,653 --> 00:14:48,519
[laughing]
314
00:14:48,521 --> 00:14:52,523
Well, that's a pretty funny
costume you got yourself, Gordo.
315
00:14:52,525 --> 00:14:54,359
What are those? Warts?
316
00:14:54,361 --> 00:14:56,761
Hey, time for that eye exam
there, Edsel!
317
00:14:56,763 --> 00:14:58,329
Those are beauty marks!
318
00:14:58,331 --> 00:15:00,265
[laughing]
319
00:15:00,267 --> 00:15:02,433
What are you supposed to be,
exactly?
320
00:15:02,435 --> 00:15:04,736
An alien,
from the planet Melmac!
321
00:15:07,674 --> 00:15:09,007
He's just kidding.
322
00:15:09,009 --> 00:15:13,244
Yeah! Everyone knows that
Melmacians don't have zippers!
323
00:15:13,246 --> 00:15:15,113
[laughing]
324
00:15:15,115 --> 00:15:17,282
Oh, I kill me. Ha!
325
00:15:22,722 --> 00:15:24,522
Mom says that we're
out of onion dip
326
00:15:24,524 --> 00:15:26,624
and we need more meatballs,
and how do you like Lizard?
327
00:15:26,626 --> 00:15:27,692
I like him.
328
00:15:27,694 --> 00:15:29,794
He's intelligent, he's polite
329
00:15:29,796 --> 00:15:31,362
he's well-groomed.
330
00:15:31,364 --> 00:15:32,630
Does he have a van?
331
00:15:32,632 --> 00:15:33,731
No.
332
00:15:33,733 --> 00:15:35,366
I love him.
333
00:15:36,403 --> 00:15:37,435
What's ALF doing?
334
00:15:37,437 --> 00:15:39,570
Oh, his Elvis impression.
335
00:15:39,572 --> 00:15:43,608
¶ And on a cold
and gray Chicago morning.. ¶¶
336
00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:45,209
Lynn..
337
00:15:45,211 --> 00:15:46,611
...you are missing..
338
00:15:46,613 --> 00:15:47,946
..."In The Ghetto."
339
00:15:47,948 --> 00:15:49,948
Oh, my favorite.
340
00:15:53,620 --> 00:15:55,620
We don't lead a normal life.
341
00:15:59,092 --> 00:16:01,092
[applauding]
342
00:16:01,094 --> 00:16:02,126
Well, thank you.
343
00:16:02,128 --> 00:16:03,628
Thank you very much, ladies.
344
00:16:03,630 --> 00:16:05,430
I'd like to dedicate
that last song
345
00:16:05,432 --> 00:16:08,399
to my hunk
of burning love, Bernice.
346
00:16:08,401 --> 00:16:10,802
Oh, Elvis!
347
00:16:10,804 --> 00:16:13,638
Love me tender.
348
00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:14,839
I will, momma.
349
00:16:14,841 --> 00:16:16,274
Uh, but now, excuse me.
350
00:16:16,276 --> 00:16:17,675
I've got to work the room.
351
00:16:17,677 --> 00:16:19,010
¶ Oh ho ¶
352
00:16:19,012 --> 00:16:20,411
¶ Oh hoo ¶¶
353
00:16:20,413 --> 00:16:22,580
Oh, ha-ha! Yeah.
354
00:16:22,582 --> 00:16:24,649
Hey-hey, so what did
you think there, Liz?
355
00:16:24,651 --> 00:16:27,285
Whoo! The king lives.
356
00:16:27,287 --> 00:16:29,687
Thanks. Hey, science question.
357
00:16:29,689 --> 00:16:32,323
If there were such a thing
as an alien life form
358
00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:34,158
what do you think he'd be like?
359
00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:36,494
- Huh?
- Come on, what are you, deaf?
360
00:16:36,496 --> 00:16:38,529
I'm trying to get some insight.
361
00:16:38,531 --> 00:16:40,665
You're an egghead, aren't you?
362
00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:43,968
Yeah, I do well scholastically,
if that's what you mean.
363
00:16:43,970 --> 00:16:46,637
Yeah, right. What about aliens?
364
00:16:46,639 --> 00:16:48,373
They'd probably have
highly developed brains
365
00:16:48,375 --> 00:16:50,341
and be very advanced.
366
00:16:50,343 --> 00:16:51,876
Well, thank you.
367
00:16:55,048 --> 00:16:56,147
Oh, good, more food.
368
00:16:56,149 --> 00:16:58,282
Sorry, Gordo.
369
00:16:58,284 --> 00:17:00,618
We weren't expecting
this many guests.
370
00:17:00,620 --> 00:17:01,886
Well, you're telling me.
371
00:17:01,888 --> 00:17:04,522
Your boss eats like
he's going to the chair.
372
00:17:05,892 --> 00:17:07,892
Incidentally, how's the, uh..
373
00:17:07,894 --> 00:17:09,060
[kissing]
374
00:17:09,062 --> 00:17:10,862
...kissing up going?
375
00:17:10,864 --> 00:17:12,563
I'm not kissing up to anyone.
376
00:17:12,565 --> 00:17:15,166
I haven't done anything wrong.
377
00:17:15,168 --> 00:17:17,435
Play hardball. I like it.
378
00:17:19,139 --> 00:17:22,373
[humming]
379
00:17:22,976 --> 00:17:24,308
Hi.
380
00:17:24,310 --> 00:17:26,210
Oh, you mind
if I take one of these?
381
00:17:26,212 --> 00:17:28,279
Hey, why hold back now?
382
00:17:33,420 --> 00:17:34,819
I can't believe it.
383
00:17:34,821 --> 00:17:36,687
ALF is actually going to put
384
00:17:36,689 --> 00:17:39,524
a lamp shade on his head.
385
00:17:39,526 --> 00:17:43,027
That is probably
the corniest party gag there is.
386
00:17:43,029 --> 00:17:46,030
[people laughing]
387
00:17:46,032 --> 00:17:48,166
But somehow he makes it work.
388
00:17:48,168 --> 00:17:51,269
He's the life...of this party.
389
00:17:51,271 --> 00:17:53,438
Even Walter Burke
is having a good time.
390
00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:56,541
Honey, you might get
that promotion after all.
391
00:17:56,543 --> 00:17:59,310
Sounds like ALF
might get the promotion.
392
00:18:00,613 --> 00:18:02,880
I don't wanna work for ALF.
393
00:18:02,882 --> 00:18:05,249
We already do.
394
00:18:05,251 --> 00:18:07,885
(in unison)
Gordo! Gordo! Gordo!
395
00:18:07,887 --> 00:18:10,721
Gordo! Gordo! Gordo!
396
00:18:10,723 --> 00:18:14,092
Gordo! Go! Go! Go!
397
00:18:14,094 --> 00:18:16,194
[all cheering]
398
00:18:16,196 --> 00:18:17,628
Hey, thank you.
399
00:18:17,630 --> 00:18:19,230
You know,
we couldn't do this back home.
400
00:18:19,232 --> 00:18:20,631
Of course, we didn't have
any gravity.
401
00:18:20,633 --> 00:18:23,034
'Ha! Ha!'
402
00:18:23,036 --> 00:18:24,969
Hey, just kidding, Tanners.
403
00:18:24,971 --> 00:18:27,371
'Ha! Alright, who's next?'
404
00:18:27,373 --> 00:18:29,941
Who's next? Uh, hey,
how about Walter Burke?
405
00:18:29,943 --> 00:18:31,742
- Oh, no.
- Yeah!
406
00:18:31,744 --> 00:18:33,544
No, no, no.
407
00:18:33,546 --> 00:18:34,579
- Not Walter!
- 'Walter!'
408
00:18:34,581 --> 00:18:35,746
- 'Not Walter!'
- Walter!
409
00:18:35,748 --> 00:18:38,049
- Not Walter!
- 'Walter! Walter!'
410
00:18:38,051 --> 00:18:39,450
Come on, Walter.
Give it a try.
411
00:18:39,452 --> 00:18:41,486
No, I got this..
What about my bad back, huh?
412
00:18:41,488 --> 00:18:43,921
Oh, go for it.
It-it's Halloween.
413
00:18:43,923 --> 00:18:47,325
- 'Yeah.'
- Yeah, what are you, a wuss?
414
00:18:47,327 --> 00:18:49,827
- 'Come on, Walter.'
- 'Come on, Walter!'
415
00:18:49,829 --> 00:18:51,829
- Yay!
- Be a man!
416
00:18:51,831 --> 00:18:53,131
- Yes!
- Alright.
417
00:18:53,133 --> 00:18:54,632
- Come on!
- Alright, alright.
418
00:18:54,634 --> 00:18:59,437
(in unison)
And go! Go! Go! Go! Go!
419
00:18:59,439 --> 00:19:01,973
(Walter)
Ow! Oh..
420
00:19:01,975 --> 00:19:03,341
- 'Oh, my God.'
- 'Oh.'
421
00:19:03,343 --> 00:19:05,843
Mr. Burke, are you alright?
422
00:19:05,845 --> 00:19:08,679
Just get me to a hard,
flat surface.
423
00:19:08,681 --> 00:19:12,750
Hey, don't expect high marks
on technique, Wally.
424
00:19:12,752 --> 00:19:14,719
[indistinct chatter]
425
00:19:16,623 --> 00:19:19,790
- Goodnight.
- Goodnight.
426
00:19:19,792 --> 00:19:20,691
[sighs]
427
00:19:22,762 --> 00:19:25,363
Lizard, isn't there anything
you can do?
428
00:19:25,365 --> 00:19:27,732
Hmm, I-I could remove his brain.
429
00:19:29,669 --> 00:19:31,102
Gordo, be careful.
430
00:19:31,104 --> 00:19:32,837
I know what I'm doing.
431
00:19:32,839 --> 00:19:35,606
Ahh. Feels good.
432
00:19:35,608 --> 00:19:37,108
- It does?
- Yeah.
433
00:19:37,110 --> 00:19:38,509
Go figure.
434
00:19:39,312 --> 00:19:40,511
May I use the phone?
435
00:19:40,513 --> 00:19:42,813
I-I wanna call Walter's doctor.
436
00:19:42,815 --> 00:19:44,815
Is it a local call?
437
00:19:44,817 --> 00:19:48,786
Gordo! I'll show
you where it is, Felicia.
438
00:19:48,788 --> 00:19:51,389
Leave 20 cents
on the night table.
439
00:19:51,958 --> 00:19:54,158
Ah, Gordo..
440
00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:55,359
...how can I thank you?
441
00:19:55,361 --> 00:19:56,694
Easy!
442
00:19:56,696 --> 00:19:59,830
Bury the hatchet
and give Willie that promotion.
443
00:19:59,832 --> 00:20:02,500
We both know
he's the best man for the job.
444
00:20:02,502 --> 00:20:05,903
He's intelligent,
hard-working, honest--
445
00:20:05,905 --> 00:20:07,205
ALF.
446
00:20:07,207 --> 00:20:08,906
Bad with names.
447
00:20:08,908 --> 00:20:11,576
It's Gordo, remember?
448
00:20:11,578 --> 00:20:13,711
I think Mr. Burke's
heard quite enough from you.
449
00:20:14,647 --> 00:20:17,081
You're right. It's your turn.
450
00:20:17,083 --> 00:20:19,217
Go ahead, Willie. Be obsequious.
451
00:20:19,219 --> 00:20:21,686
I have nothing
to be obsequious about.
452
00:20:21,688 --> 00:20:23,688
I was taken away
from an important project
453
00:20:23,690 --> 00:20:26,190
to look for some
stupid water cooler!
454
00:20:26,192 --> 00:20:28,893
- You're still mad about that?
- You bet I am.
455
00:20:28,895 --> 00:20:32,029
You took away something I'd
worked on for three months
456
00:20:32,031 --> 00:20:34,565
because you didn't happen
to like tap water.
457
00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:37,201
Willie, maybe I should
define obsequious for you.
458
00:20:37,203 --> 00:20:38,569
It means to grovel.
459
00:20:40,373 --> 00:20:41,906
I will not grovel.
460
00:20:41,908 --> 00:20:43,841
I never knew
how strongly you felt.
461
00:20:43,843 --> 00:20:46,444
Alright, you can have
your project back.
462
00:20:46,446 --> 00:20:48,179
- I can?
- 'Yes.'
463
00:20:48,181 --> 00:20:50,348
Well, thanks.
464
00:20:50,350 --> 00:20:52,016
I guess that settles that.
465
00:20:52,018 --> 00:20:54,552
Hey, wait a minute!
Loose end here.
466
00:20:54,554 --> 00:20:56,621
What about the promotion?
467
00:20:56,623 --> 00:20:58,756
Uh, the promotion's
a whole separate issue.
468
00:20:58,758 --> 00:21:00,424
We can discuss that later.
469
00:21:00,426 --> 00:21:02,627
What better time?
He's in pain.
470
00:21:02,629 --> 00:21:04,695
We can get anything we want.
471
00:21:04,697 --> 00:21:07,565
We'll discuss the promotion
at another time.
472
00:21:07,567 --> 00:21:10,534
It's alright, Tanner.
You've got your promotion.
473
00:21:10,536 --> 00:21:12,370
I never felt otherwise.
474
00:21:12,372 --> 00:21:14,739
Oh, good.
475
00:21:14,741 --> 00:21:16,974
- Would you get me more ice?
- Yes, sure.
476
00:21:16,976 --> 00:21:19,710
And this time would you put it
in a glass with a little scotch?
477
00:21:22,649 --> 00:21:24,749
You know,
as long as you're here, Burke
478
00:21:24,751 --> 00:21:26,651
there's a few other things
Willie needs.
479
00:21:28,421 --> 00:21:29,453
Like what?
480
00:21:29,455 --> 00:21:32,657
Well, let's talk parking spaces.
481
00:21:32,659 --> 00:21:34,725
Willie has a parking space.
482
00:21:34,727 --> 00:21:37,161
Yeah, but it's not close enough.
483
00:21:37,163 --> 00:21:40,431
And I understand his office
doesn't even have a window.
484
00:21:40,433 --> 00:21:41,999
Well, neither does mine.
485
00:21:42,001 --> 00:21:43,968
That's your problem.
486
00:21:43,970 --> 00:21:46,003
And Willie's not nuts
about that guy
487
00:21:46,005 --> 00:21:47,271
that works next to him.
488
00:21:47,273 --> 00:21:48,806
Uh, what's his name? Uh--
489
00:21:48,808 --> 00:21:50,941
- Simmons?
- Yeah, yeah, Simmons.
490
00:21:50,943 --> 00:21:52,009
That's the guy.
491
00:21:52,011 --> 00:21:53,411
He's not pulling his weight.
492
00:21:53,413 --> 00:21:54,679
Get rid of him!
493
00:21:54,681 --> 00:21:57,415
There's a parking space
right there.
494
00:21:57,417 --> 00:21:59,917
Oh, yeah, yeah,
and let's talk overtime.
495
00:21:59,919 --> 00:22:00,785
Overtime?
496
00:22:00,787 --> 00:22:02,820
OT. Yeah!
497
00:22:02,822 --> 00:22:03,954
Overtime.
498
00:22:03,956 --> 00:22:05,756
Willie's working too hard.
499
00:22:05,758 --> 00:22:07,158
I mean, he doesn't get home
500
00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:09,694
till 7:30-8 o'clock
at night I hear.
501
00:22:09,696 --> 00:22:11,762
I mean, what are you guys
doing down there?
502
00:22:11,764 --> 00:22:14,465
Give the guy a break!
503
00:22:14,467 --> 00:22:15,900
How's your back?
504
00:22:19,372 --> 00:22:20,938
Come on, Willie.
505
00:22:20,940 --> 00:22:22,807
No, ALF, uh, it's too risky!
506
00:22:22,809 --> 00:22:24,442
I think we'd better go.
507
00:22:24,444 --> 00:22:25,843
Hey, you owe me.
508
00:22:25,845 --> 00:22:28,612
After all, I got you
an office with a window.
509
00:22:28,614 --> 00:22:30,314
But I liked Simmons.
510
00:22:30,316 --> 00:22:32,616
I really did.
511
00:22:32,618 --> 00:22:35,019
Trick or treat?
Trick or treat?
512
00:22:35,021 --> 00:22:36,721
ALF, your voice!
513
00:22:36,723 --> 00:22:38,356
You're supposed to be a child.
514
00:22:38,358 --> 00:22:39,890
Right. No problem.
515
00:22:41,728 --> 00:22:43,661
Hello, young man.
516
00:22:43,663 --> 00:22:45,096
Hello, old woman.
517
00:22:46,733 --> 00:22:49,567
We're terribly sorry
to bother you so late
518
00:22:49,569 --> 00:22:52,136
but we-we couldn't
get out any earlier.
519
00:22:52,138 --> 00:22:53,704
Oh, well, I'm afraid that I gave
520
00:22:53,706 --> 00:22:57,541
my last candy bar away
over an hour ago.
521
00:22:57,543 --> 00:22:59,910
Aw, shucks.
522
00:22:59,912 --> 00:23:02,646
Well, I'll see
if I can find something else.
523
00:23:02,648 --> 00:23:04,215
[cats mewing]
524
00:23:04,217 --> 00:23:05,816
Was that a cat?
525
00:23:05,818 --> 00:23:08,085
Oh, yes, I have lots of cats.
526
00:23:11,758 --> 00:23:13,758
Well, I'll take a yellow one.
527
00:23:23,936 --> 00:23:25,936
[theme music]
528
00:23:50,696 --> 00:23:53,130
[ALF laughing]
39719
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