All language subtitles for ALF.S02E01.Working.My.Way.Back.to.You.1080p.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-DAWN_track3_[eng]

The game of skleenball
is very simple, Brian.

You just sling your anchovies

into your opponent's
laundry basket.

Aw, missed!

Do we get to eat
the anchovies after the game?

No! Does Marvin Haggler eat
his trunks after a fight?

Okay, who dumped my clean
laundry out on the floor?

Brian.

Well, ALF told me to.

I did it so
we could play skleenball.

It's not nice
to rat on your friends.

What's skleenball?

A picture's worth
a thousand words.

That picture
was worth a $1000.

Well, maybe the frame
makes it look cheap.

I am tired
of your breaking things.

If this happens
one more time

you will be living
in the garage.

From now on, I'll treat this
house as if it were my own.

Treat it as if
it were my house

and don't break anything!

Cheap frame!

Well, I guess
it can be repaired.

(ALF)
'Heads up!'

Oops.

[theme music]

[music continues]

[music continues]

[instrumental music]

Willie, I said I was sorry.

How many times
do I have to say it?

It's gotten to a point
where saying you're sorry

is not enough.

What if I write it down?

- You don't get it, do you?
- Get what?

This whole idea
of living together.

You see, we make rules
and we follow them

to keep our lives
from becoming chaos.

Now, if anybody
breaks those rules

'you or-or me, or anybody'

'then life becomes impossible.'

You're right.
I don't get it.

Let me put it this way.

You're staying in the garage
until we say you can get out.

That I get.

Let me ask you something.

Did you act this way
in your parent's house?

No. I lived
in their garage.

Oh, sure! Draw parallels.

Just think about
what I've said, okay?

And we'll discuss it later.

Willie, please.
You can't leave me out here.

There are none
of the comforts of home.

Well, alright.

You can bring something
out from the house.

Can it be something
that answers to "Hey, Lucky?"

Just a thought.

Wait, wait, wait, I want to ask
you something. It's important.

What?

Uhh..

Uh..

Goodbye, ALF.

Oh, no, wait! Now I know
what I was gonna ask you.

Instead of me wasting time
learning how to behave

could I just suck up to Kate?

Well, Kate and I agreed
about sending you out here.

So, if anything, you're going to
have to suck up to both of us.

Well, thanks.
I'll remember that. Handsome.

[instrumental music]

Willie!

Willie!

Our, our furniture!

We've been robbed!

[indistinct singing]

Wishful thinking.

¶ Stop in the name of love ¶

¶ Before you break my heart ¶

¶ Stop in the name of love ¶

¶ Before you break my heart ¶

¶ Think it over ¶¶

Oh, hi.

Oh, a housewarming gift.
How nice.

Who told you you could bring
this furniture out here?

Willie.

I did not!

You said I could bring
something from the house.

I said you could bring
something. Not everything!

Now, in all fairness, you did
not make that point clear.

He did bring everything.

I didn't take that hideous
Statue of Liberty clock.

That clock was a gift
from my mother.

Did I say hideous?

I meant lovely.
As lovely as your mother.

[ding]

That must be the microwave.
Brisket anyone?

Forget the brisket!

ALF, I want you to take
everything back

into the house tonight.

And I emphasize
the word everything!

And I emphasize
the word tonight!

And if you don't, you will be
living out here permanently.

I noticed you emphasize
the word permanently.

Wait, don't go! Please.

Can we sit down
and talk this out?

Just give me one minute.

Alright. Fine. Yes.

You have one minute.

Thank you.

Hey, Willie, don't sit there.
That's my chair.

That was my chair
in the house.

Well, we're not in the house!

Forty seconds.

Well, that's not fair.
Willie talked, too!

Penalize him!

Thirty-five.

What are you,
Mission control?

- Thirty.
- Thirty seconds?

I just had a minute
half a minute ago!

[sighs]
Forget the minute.
Just say what you have to say!

Uh.

Uh..

Uh..

- Goodnight, ALF.
- Goodnight, ALF.

No! No.
I need human companionship.

I don't know how I ever
got along without it

but now I'm hooked.

I'm a people junkie.

Please. Don't go.

Oh, you go ahead, Kate.

I'll sit out here
with him for a while.

Willie, what are you doing?

It seems like he
really misses us.

I do, I do, I do.

Willie, he's got
our furniture and our brisket

now he's after us.

Oh, you're right.
Of course, you're right.

You're stayin' in the garage.

Without us,
and without our brisket.

Goodnight, ALF.

Kate, wait, please!
Give me another chance.

I know I could change.

Just let me move back inside
for one week

and I'll prove it to you.
I'll be on my best behavior.

What if, during this week,
you don't change?

Then, Willie and I will
move out here for good.

Alright. You've got a deal.

Kate, I don't want
to move out here.

I didn't mean
that was part of..

The deal is you stay
in the house for one week

but if you mess up,
you're history.

Hey, no problem!

[crashing]

The week hasn't
started yet, right?

[instrumental music]

Well, the furniture is back.

Oh, and he's fixed
the painting.

And everything seems so
much cleaner than usual.

Uh, no offense.

Good morning, sir.

Madam, your eggs Benedict
is served.

Oh, no!
He's using the stove again.

He's wearing my shirt.

My, that was fast.

You two must be famished.

ALF, what is going on?

Going on, ma'am?

Kate, this food looks great.

Thank you, sir.

I believe a meal should
be pleasing to the eye

as well as to the palette.

ALF, um,
just so that I know

is the entire week
going to be filled

with a lot of "sirs" and
"ma'ams" and haute cuisine?

Well, ma'am, per our deal,
I wanted to show you

how much it would
please me to please you.

Well, thank you.
That's very nice.

You know,
I appreciate that.

I must admit
the eggs do look delicious

and the house is very clean.

It's amazingly clean.

It's not that clean.

I do hope you folks
will have a chance

to check under the tables.

I've scraped off
all the gum.

There was gum
under the tables?

Well, gum and other
crusty substances

deposited there by someone who
will henceforth be known as

"The old ALF."

May he rest in peace.

Mmm.
What smells so good?

ALF, you look great.

Did we have a cleaning crew
come in or something?

The house looks fantastic.

Oh, for crying out loud!

ALF cleaned the whole house

and he made us this
wonderful breakfast.

Hmm. Tastes good.

Better than that stinky stuff
mom usually makes, huh, Brian?

Uh-huh.

Wait a minute. I didn't think
ALF was allowed in the house.

That was yesterday.
Today he's our butler.

If you don't mind, madam,
I prefer the word "manservant."

Helps keep me in my place.

[knock on door]

(Trevor)
'Hey, anybody home?'

ALF. It's Trevor. You better..

The new ALF moves fast!

Uh, come on in, Trevor.

Hi.

Hey, Tanner,
who painted your fence?

- It looks great!
- Oh, I don't know what..

I don't what
you're talking abo..

- Oh, wow! That does look great.
- Yeah. So who painted it?

Uh..

Happy birthday, dad.

Oh, it's your
birthday present.

I hope I didn't
ruin the surprise.

Oh, no, no.

I was going to look out
the window soon, anyway.

- So, how old are you?
- I'll be 45 in August.

That's six months away.

It ain't your birthday.

You just had
your fence painted

so you can keep up
with the Ochmonek's.

Well, I'm not
gonna tell you

where I bought
my fluorescent flamingos.

We blew it.

Hey, Kate,
great looking breakfast.

- Mom didn't make it.
- Who did?

- Our manservant.
- You got a manservant?

Just for the week.

Well, do me a favor.
Don't mention it to Raquel.

- You have our word.
- Thanks.

She went ape when she found out
you had a vacuum cleaner.

Hey, listen, you might have
Jeeves, give me a jingle.

I might want him
to paint my flamingos.

Will do.

Oh, Jeeves.

There's something
I'd like to ask you.

I know what you're
going to say, sir.

And I've already taken care
of those ghastly flamingos.

You painted them?

No, they've been removed.

And tomorrow, I shall
terminate the lawn jockey.

[instrumental music]

Did you see
what ALF did in there?

He embroidered "Milord
and Milady" on the towels.

Yeah. He's amazing.

You're telling me.

He got that stubborn cranberry
stain off of my pajama tops.

Yeah.

He can do anything.

Oh, yeah!

I'll say.

I can't believe I'm saying this

but he, he's actually
making me feel..

- Inadequate?
- I wasn't going to say that.

Oh, I didn't mean..

You're the one
who's making me feel inadequate

and the kids too.

I mean, everybody
is so carried away

with the new ALF's
old world charm.

Hope you're not
expecting that in me

when things
get back to normal.

Absolutely not..

...Milady.

Goodnight, Milord.

[glass squeaking]

Maybe you better
pull that shade.

[glass squeaking]

[instrumental music]

Morning, ma'am.

ALF, it's your last day.

There's no need to
wax the floor again.

I'm free at the moment.

And I've finished
shortening your dresses.

You shortened my dresses?

Well, they are showing
higher hemlines this year.

And I didn't think
milady wanted to continue

with the
"Nancy Reagan" look.

Thank you, ALF Lauren.

ALF Lauren?

[laughing]

Oh, good one, ma'am.

I'll have to phone the other
manservants I've befriended

and tell them that you've
unleashed yet another corker.

Oh, brother.

Uh, excuse me, ma'am,
but the wax isn't dry yet.

If you must go into the kitchen,
I'll have to carry you.

Thank you. I'll walk.

I'll wax in your wake.

Mom, how come you didn't
get a piggyback ride from ALF?

I wasn't in the mood.

What's that slop?

It's eggs Florentine

brushed with a
Mandarin orange glaze.

How come we don't have anything
to drink except Perrier?

ALF gets it at cost
from the French embassy.

Oh, relax, Kate.

We're gonna have
the old ALF back at sundown.

I hope so.

I don't want to take
any more quiche to school.

Nobody will trade with me.

Well, the week is over
as far as I'm concerned.

I'm gonna have
a plain old orange.

Willie, I don't think that
I can make it till sundown.

Why don't we go
away for the day.

- Good idea!
- Oh, come on, that's silly!

Now, why don't we just
tell ALF that he's won?

Well, I'm for that!
You've won!

- Won, ma'am?
- The bet is off!

You can turn in your whisk broom
and your phoney accent

let out a big burp,
and get on with it!

Yeah, ALF, let her rip!

What we're saying is,
we want the old ALF back.

Please, I must insist
that we follow this through.

Isn't that
one of the rules?

To follow things through?

Otherwise, we'd have chaos.

And our life
would be impossible.

Alright, we're leaving.
We'll see you at 6:14.

6:14?

6:14. That's when
the sun goes down.

And that means
pledge week is over.

And you can go
back to being yourself.

Where are we gonna go?

Who cares? As long as
it's someplace dirty.

Goodbye, ALF.

- Bye, ALF.
- Bye, ALF.

See you after
the metamorphosis.

Oh, Sir William.

Is there some special meal
you'd like for my last hurrah?

Aw! Oh!

Actually there is one thing

that Kate's always
had a little trouble with.

It's duck a l'orange.

No problem.

Shall I serve a nice
hearty burgundy?

- That would be lovely.
- Count on it.

(Kate)
'Willie, are you coming?'

Oh yeah, you bet.

And we don't want anything
fancy for dinner, either!

[instrumental music]

6:13. One minute to go,
Luckmeister.

Then, I'll be down on you
like a buzzard on a gut-Wagon!

Ah, the duck a l'orange
is ready.

Have some wine.
It'll slow down your reflexes.

Zut alors!

The gas is on.

But I forgot to
light the oven.

Oh, well,
better late than never.

[explosion]

Argh.

Well, I guess
we'll have to order in.

(man on TV)
'Tonight on "Eye On The Town"
the Japanese trade imbalance.'

'What do women in bikinis
think about it.'

I love sweeps week.

Uh-Oh. You'd better
look at this!

Oh, my God!

Just take it easy.

You didn't lose everything.

You've still
got your health.

I'm sorry the firemen
had to chop their way in.

You people should
give me a key.

Trevor, Trevor,
what happened?

I think I know.
What happened.

Where is he?
Where is he!

Oh, Jeeves?

I think he took off

when he saw
the mess in the kitchen.

The kitchen!

I want to see it!

Lynn, why don't you see
if you can find Jeeves.

Trevor, I think we can
handle this from here.

Thanks for waiting
for us to come home.

My pleasure.

Hope you don't mind..

I was a little hungry

so I had some of the crispy duck
that was stuck to the wall.

'Don't worry about it.
Have a good night.'

No need to close the door
on your way out.

Yeah.

Mom, do you think
ALF's okay?

Oh!

I found ALF.

He was hiding in the dryer
with grandma's rosary.

I know what
you're gonna say

and I've already
accepted my fate.

I'm turning myself in
to the alien task force.

I don't deserve to live.

ALF, why do these things
always happen to you?

Beats me.

Maybe in a past life,
I was a wrecking ball.

You were so good all week.
What happened?

Yeah, we'd really
like to know.

I'll keep it simple, Willie.
The kitchen blew up.

This is like
a roadrunner cartoon.

ALF, how did
the kitchen blow up?

Beg your pardon, ma'am.

How did the kitchen blow up?

Uhh.

Uhh..

Just tell me
how the kitchen blew up?

Well, the oven
was on for a while.

Then I realized
I hadn't lit it.

So, I struck a match..

Didn't you smell the gas?

At the time,
I thought it was dill.

Well, goodbye and good luck.

Oh, come on back, ALF.
You don't have anywhere to go.

And we don't want
you to go.

But I failed.

I didn't live up
to the agreement.

I don't deserve to stay.

Oh, we know that,
but you're staying, anyway.

Okay.

Oh, come on, now.
The place is a mess.

We've got a lot
of cleaning up to do.

And if there's one thing
that ALF proved this week

it's that he knows
how to clean up.

Well, actually,
that was the new ALF.

Now that
I'm the old ALF, I don't..

I'll get the push broom, milord.

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]

Willie, hey, how's it going?

ALF, I thought you want to take
these things back to Trevor.

They're not Trevor's anymore.
I bought them.

Well, actually,
you bought them.

Your check's in the mail.

Hey, hit the switch, Willie,
you gotta see this.

See what?

Trust me.
Just turn off the light.

(ALF)
'Now, tell me, is this a
significant moment, or what?'

It's breathtaking.

'Care for a little
mood music?'

I think we must have it.

¶ Stop in the name of love ¶

¶ Before you break my heart ¶

¶ Stop in the name.. ¶¶

[theme music]

[music continues]

[ALF laughing]