Original subtitles

You failed.

Why are you doing this?

You did this to yourself.

And now,

all of you will perish.

[The Flash grunting]

My name is Dr. John Deegan, and I, like most of you,

I'm a psychiatrist.

Do you know what my patients tell me the most?

They feel inferior.

I'm here to tell you, whether we admit it or not,

some people, they're just born lucky.

Which leads us to the real problem.

Imperfection.

How can we ever hope to feel like supermen,

or superwomen,

without first becoming super ourselves?

I'm here to tell you how, folks.

If we utilize eugenic insights, I feel--

Hey, Frankenstein, go back to your mad scientist lab.

[Deegan] Ma'am...

Ma'am... Would you wait, please?

Folks, folks, folks, please listen.

I'm just saying we can truly help our patients.

Listen to me!

Idiots!

[man] Doctor.

Dr. John Deegan.

I need your help, John.

Go find someone else to prank, douchebag.

My God. What... What are you?

Something beyond your comprehension.

I've traveled far to this place and time

to lay this precious burden at your feet.

Use this book to reshape the world as you see fit.

Show them what a real god can do, John.

But why me?

You have vision.

That book holds the key to your transformation, John,

and all you have to do is open it.

Use it wisely, John.

The universe is in your hands.

I can... I can see...

I can see everything.

A word of advice.

Think big.

[Iris West] Honey, breakfast is ready.

Honey?

-It'll get cold. -What?

Morning. Look, babe, they're perfect this time.

What if Barry walks in? What if he'd seen that?

Where's Barry?

Did you get enough sleep last night?

Look, babe, I know that we haven't caught Cicada,

but Caitlin's immunity can help us.

-Who's Cicada? -Our big bad.

[laughs]

Barry, are you okay?

I'm Barry?

What is wrong?

Honey, hi. Talk to me.

I did not get enough sleep.

Are you sure it's not my cooking? Because--

No. No.

[sniffs]

-These smell delicious. -Thank you.

You know what? I think that you call Captain Singh

and you ask for a day off.

Look, with all the superhero-ing you've been doing,

I think you've earned it, honey.

You think maybe I should go into S.T.A.R. Labs?

-What? What? -Only my husband would think

working on Speed Force equations would be called a day off.

I love you, Barry Allen.

I love you, Iris West-Allen.

-[chuckles] -[device beeping]

Break-in at Ivo Labs.

Cisco's on comms. I'll meet you guys at S.T.A.R. Labs.

Whoa, whoa!

Whoa!

That's a rush.

Sorry! I polished it last night and left it on our dresser.

Oh, Barry.

What have you done this time?

[Cisco] Barry, we got a break-in at Ivo Labs.

Two armed men going after diamonds. The ones they use for conductors.

Hey, pump the brakes. You're gonna have to hang a U-ie,

'cause you passed IVO by about 18 blocks.

-Found it. -Someone's excited to get to work.

It is too early for this.

[alarm blaring]

[men clamoring]

Forget it, Flash.

We're leaving with the diamonds or this guy dies.

I said back off!

[Cisco] Hey, what are you doing there?

Just hit the guy with a lightning punch.

You have failed this city.

Pretty sure that's not your line.

Your adrenaline levels are off the charts. What's going on?

[grunts]

Overkill much?

Cops are on the way.

Why don't you just let them take over from here?

[device beeping]

So he's fine, Caitlin?

Mmm-hmm.

Oh, God. Thank goodness.

Really? There are no anomalies?

I don't have a brain tumor? Nothing?

Barry, you're in perfect shape.

Babe, tell me about it. I mean, hi, these abs. [chuckles]

And they're all mine.

[both chuckling]

Maybe we could lay off the public displays of affection

just at work? You know.

Since when? You're always saying that "touch is your love language."

That's right, Ralph.

I just feel like we're being very insensitive to all of you.

Man, we've talked about this. I'm over Gypsy.

Okay?

But I appreciate the thought.

I'll be all right.

I'm gonna go home.

Because I need to think.

"Think"?

What are you guys doing?

-Following you into the hallway. -'Cause something is definitely up.

Do you need to talk about it?

Yeah, Barry, you haven't seemed like yourself all morning.

I'm fine.

I just think that maybe I should go and talk with someone

who might better understand what I'm going through.

I'm gonna go see Oliver Queen. I'll be back.

[Barry grunting]

Digg, what are you doing here?

I'm kicking your butt. Now get up. Come on.

Did you guys redecorate the bunker?

Oliver, you're been to A.R.G.U.S. a million times.

Oliver?

[both grunting]

[groans]

I'm Oliver Queen.

Yeah, I'll say.

I'm the Green Arrow.

Holy crap.

I've been hanging with a tough crowd, huh?

Yeah, you think?

Look, I need to make a call to S.T.A.R. Labs.

Just for some important Green Arrow business.

-You know how it is. -Later.

-What's that? -[system beeping]

We've got Bratvas fighting Bertinellies

over an old Diaz weapons cache in the Glades.

I could really use some backup, Oliver.

Oh, man, I don't know if I'm feeling up for it.

I think I just tweaked something.

A.R.G.U.S. Rapid Response is on another mission.

We're the only ones that can make it in time.

-Okay. Yeah, I'm in. -Good.

Suit up.

How do I put this...

I forget. Do I need help putting this on?

[John] What are you doing?

I thought you were going to fire an incendiary arrow.

So did I.

[grunting]

Did you freaking see that?

Stop fooling around and get the driver!

Damn.

Diggle!

-No, no! -Oh, man.

-[exclaims] I'm glad to see you. -Uh-huh. Yeah.

[retching]

Nice outfit.

This can't be a coincidence. There has to be a reason behind this,

which means that someone is responsible.

We need to know who. Hey, can you not do that?

[grunts]

Man. We're in a total Freaky Friday.

No, wait. We didn't switch bodies.

It's more of a Quantum Leap. Where's a mirror?

Could you just focus, just for a second,

and take this seriously? Because the world thinks

that you're Oliver Queen and that I'm Barry Allen,

and I would really like to know why.

-Totally. Yes. I'm sorry. -Is that cool? Thank you.

Weird.

[exclaims] Hey! Mayor!

Just for 90 seconds of seriousness.

You gotta admit, this is a little cool.

I will find it a lot cooler

when I wake up in my own bed tomorrow morning.

You woke up in bed with Iris?

Mmm-hmm.

We have to fix this right now!

[Sherloque] Let me get this straight.

You believe you are not Barry Allen, but, in fact, he is.

-Barry, did you time travel again? -No, I didn't.

-She's talking to Barry. -Sorry.

I am Barry.

Yeah, and I'm Wild Dog.

-Easy, Wild Dog. -Sarcasm.

It's not great sarcasm, Cisco.

-Do you mind if I... -No, of course not.

[device beeping]

Oliver's brain scan is perfectly normal.

No signs of hypnosis or psychic interference.

Tachyon meters are clear.

No one's screwing with the timeline.

Guys, come on, this is crazy.

I mean, there is no way that I could be married to Oliver Queen.

Sorry. But, babe, you know he's not my type, right?

Iris, you really don't believe me?

We're telling the truth. Okay? We're telling the truth.

Something is very, very wrong with reality.

-Yeah. -All right.

Team Flash, meeting. Not you, Barry.

[stammers]

I've only got eyes for you, you know.

-I... If you touch her-- -I didn't touch her.

Thought about it.

All right. Well, if your team's not gonna help us,

then we have to keep moving.

They'll help us, okay? They'll help us. We just gotta get...

We just gotta get Iris on board first.

Fine. How are you gonna convince her?

I'm not. You are.

-She's your wife. -I know, man. I know.

I don't like this any more than you do.

You just gotta tell her how much you care about her.

Tell her she's your lightning rod.

[laughs]

I'm not saying that.

Just say it. Trust me.

It works every time.

Mind if I join you?

Yeah.

[sighs] This should help.

I guess you forgot you can't get drunk.

This day could not get any worse.

-You really think that you're Oliver? -Yeah.

You know, Felicity called me when Oliver was in prison.

Do you know how he ended up in Slabside?

Wait, wait. She called you?

He cut a deal, Barry.

Completely behind Felicity's back. He didn't even warn her.

The FBI just showed up and took him away.

She said all that?

She's hurting.

Oliver's life, it's completely defined by anger, vengeance.

That's why I am so lucky to have you in my life.

Are you not the least bit worried that reality might be broken?

Don't you have to consider what we're telling you is the truth?

Isn't it possible?

Yeah. Yeah, it is.

Which is why I'm really sorry, Barry.

I thought I couldn't get drunk.

Nanites.

Courtesy of Ray Palmer.

Whoever you are, we need to get you to a safe place

until we can figure out what happened.

I hope you can understand.

Oh, come on.

Sorry, dude.

[sighs] Come on. Guys, come...

Guys, come on.

Let us out of here.

Come on.

Why are we in your secret prison?

It's not a prison.

It's a Tesla conductor tube that dampens meta-powers.

Okay, it's a prison.

We just need to convince everybody that we're not crazy!

How? How do you suggest that we do that?

Because everyone on Earth thinks we're each other.

That's it.

Maybe it's just Earth-1 that's been affected.

If we can get an extrapolator,

we'll breach to Earth-38 and find Kara.

If she remembers us, then maybe she can help fix whatever's happened.

You skipped the part where you explain how we escape.

Were you able to get in touch with A.R.G.U.S.?

Well, I tried, but I kept getting interference at 650 nanometers.

Isn't that the wavelength for red light?

Red light. Exactly.

And when I checked the city's weather cams,

this is what I found.

Red skies, yellow lightning.

So, you think Barry and Oliver's shared psychosis

is a result of weird weather?

Stranger things, right?

Okay, I'll run their scans again.

[man] You're best off giving up now.

Who the frak is that?

I spent the past seven months in a maximum security prison,

and no matter how bad things got, and they got bad,

every cell had a toilet!

You sure you can't hold it?

-Oh, you wanna back up the pipes. -And fry the dampener, yes.

That's a great idea.

Okay.

One problem. I'm not gonna be able to reach the valve with these on.

You're gonna have to dislocate your thumb.

-Are you crazy? I'm-- -I'm not crazy.

You need to dislocate your thumb. Just apply pressure to the joint.

-No. I'm gonna break my hand. -You're not gonna break your hand,

because in this reality, your ligaments have been stretched

and conditioned in the art of escape by Anatoly Knyazev.

Now, man up, apply pressure to the joint,

and dislocate your thumb.

[bone popping]

-It worked. -Yeah.

All right.

Hold on.

Okay. Now we just wait for it.

[electricity buzzing]

Dampener's down. Now what?

You're gonna have to phase us out of here.

-What? -Phasing.

That's when I vibrate at the frequency of air,

causing all the cells in my body to get so excited

I can pass through solid objects.

Right. Phasing.

-Want any advice? -One second here, Barry, please.

I'm just saying that it's not an easy move,

and if you screw this up,

then you're gonna come out of the phase halfway through the glass--

-[Oliver laughing] -What?

Why are you laughing?

I didn't realize...

-[laughs] Your thumb looks ridiculous. -My God.

I didn't realize that's how mine looked.

Well, look at that. You did it.

Oh.

Great.

Hey, don't leave me, man.

[both exclaim]

Figured it out.

All right, let's go.

Get the extrapolator and get out of here.

I can't let you do that, Barry.

Iris, please. I know how weird this is,

but somewhere inside, you know we're telling the truth.

That it's me. Barry.

Do you remember when I first moved in?

Joe brought me to the house after my mom was killed.

I looked at you, and I said, "My dad didn't do it."

-And then you said-- -"I believe you."

You always did.

And now I need you to believe me again.

Iris, you're my lightning rod.

Quick. Before I change my mind.

We'll fix this, I promise.

[Lois] I'm writing it!

We've been over this, hon.

No, you talked, I ignored.

You need a new muffler.

I think this is a tie rod end.

Come on, Kara. Back me up here.

Uh, no, thanks.

I know better than to get involved in a debate with Lois Lane.

But you do know the feeling.

That itch, that fire in the back of your head.

The siren song of a story that has to be written.

Yeah, I do. I do.

The world is gonna want to know

why Lois Lane went to Argo City with Superman.

Details. I'll make up a reason.

So much for truth in journalism.

Says the reporter who writes about his own exploits as Superman.

I was the first human to set foot on what's left of Krypton,

to lay eyes on the Jewel Mountains,

to endure the endless, torturous deliberations of the High Council,

and I have to write about it.

One small step for Lois Lane,

one giant leap for Lois Lane's career.

Says the woman who is already the most famous,

feared and intrepid reporter on two planets.

And yet, someone on this farm is

still making 21 cents on the dollar more than me.

And it ain't Kara, honey.

[Kara] You two catch up.

I am gonna go slam some small things really hard.

Okay, just be careful on that ladder. It's really old.

You'll catch me.

Break time, boss?

I've never been challenged like that before, just to my face.

"Tell us who you are, Supergirl."

Well, except for Ms. Grant.

I'm sure it was harder when it's the President doing the threatening.

-Cat was scarier. -Yeah.

[Kara laughing]

Do you think I did the right thing?

Our secret identities, they protect the people we love

from being threatened by our enemies.

There aren't a lot of things more important than that.

I'm just sad I have to leave the DEO.

And now Alex is there alone. I feel like I let her down.

Well, then, I left you to defend Earth alone so I could go to Argo.

-I'm sorry. -Aw. No, don't be sorry about that.

It's home.

I'm really glad you got to see it finally and connect with it.

It was more than just connecting with our culture, you know?

-[objects clattering] -[Lois] I'm okay.

It was Lois.

Everything new that I experienced on Argo,

she was experiencing it, too.

Out there, we were both strange visitors.

[sighs]

-I must sound so selfish. -No.

Love is the most unselfish thing in the world.

On any world.

Well, about that.

There's something that I've needed to talk to you about.

Okay.

[Lois screaming]

-Wait, wait, wait. We come in peace. -Who are you?

Lois, wait. This is Barry and Oliver. They're friends.

So you know that I'm Oliver and he's Barry?

-Yeah. Why wouldn't I? -[sighs in relief]

-Man. -Okay.

Um, you guys, this is my cousin, Clark. I'm so glad you get to meet.

Your cousin? That cousin? The super cousin?

Oh, please, call me Clark.

Uh, welcome to our farm.

-Are you puffing out your chest? -Yes.

Lois Lane, Daily Planet.

Wait. Why did you guys think I wouldn't recognize you?

Well...

Oh, uh...

[Kara] Oh.

Well, that's new.

We could use your help.

All units to Waid and Augustyn. Something's destroying Ivo Labs.

He has our powers.

Again.

[tin can clanging]

Come on, man. I've been shooting paint cans all afternoon.

Unless a paint can rewrote reality and made us swap lives,

then you need actual combat training, Barry.

All right, fine. You know what?

Why don't you go over there, run at me,

and I'll try and hit you with an arrow?

Right, okay.

Where did you bury the remote-controlled bows?

Dude, come on, I'm not you.

Yeah, well. Okay.

[Oliver] Ready!

Here we go.

Nice try.

-[grunts] -[Barry laughing]

I've been waiting four years for that, man.

Oh, it's priceless. Hold on. I need to get a photo.

-What? -Boom, I got it. Don't worry. Hold on.

-One second. -[grunts]

[laughs] That's great.

Do you think this is funny? Do you think my skills are a joke?

Come on, man. I was a much better sport when you shot me.

I shot you to teach you how to case an environment.

-You shot me to get a laugh. -All right.

You know what? Fine, come at me, try to get one hit in.

Deck him, Barry.

What? He's a jerk.

I'm not doing this. This isn't how I train.

Oh, you train? Really?

I thought your powers just dropped out of the sky.

If you're trying to get a rise out of me, it's not gonna work.

You need a peanut gallery?

Can you not do anything without your wife in your ear?

Are you serious, man? Felicity invented quarterbacking.

I don't think that you can go more than nine hours

without some sappy motivational speech!

-All right, I'm not doing this. -Your team betrayed you.

You needed them, and they weren't there!

I'm not doing this!

You know, if you really knew how to use my speed,

I never could've laid a finger on you.

[Caitlin] That's the guy who attacked us at Ivo Laboratories.

Anti-Meta-human Adaptive Zootomic Organism.

A-M-A-Z-O, Amazo.

Sometimes these things just fall into your lap.

It says Ivo Labs was contracted by A.R.G.U.S.

to build a unit capable of identifying meta-powers.

He doesn't just scan powers.

He's pumping a nano-adaptive hybrid of the Mirakuru serum.

So that's how he stole our powers.

He scanned our meta-human genes,

then used the Mirakuru hybrid to copy them.

So an evil copycat Gort is coming to Klaatu barada kick-to our asses,

and we can't let out Flash and Green Arrow to fight it.

Well, we could if they were still here.

Why don't you tell them, Iris West-Allen, what happened?

Allez.

You let them out.

Okay, look, I know what you're thinking.

But I spoke to Oliver, or whoever he is,

and I could feel something.

Guys, I felt like I was really talking to Barry.

I believe you.

It is weird out there.

These red skies,

Barry and Oliver, that, and I vibed somebody in the Speed Lab.

-What? -Yeah.

Some guy with ridges on his head, these big muttonchops.

Do you think that the red skies, this guy,

these disparate events are somehow connected?

So Barry and Oliver were mind-swapped by a guy with muttonchops?

Man, it's not even Tuesday.

[console beeping]

It's Amazo. He just entered city limits.

Don't tell me you came to say sorry.

I try to avoid saying that word.

Look, man, I get it.

You were just trying to help in your own Oliver way.

You were trying to get a rise out of me,

so I'd fight like you.

Yeah, but it's more than that, Barry.

I've been doing this for a very long time.

And nearly every time that I learn a lesson,

it comes with a painful memory.

I've watched friends die, I've had to kill to survive.

When I'm the Green Arrow, I channel those painful memories.

I draw on a darkness every time I draw back my bow.

So to see you with all of my abilities,

just laughing and joking around, it pissed me off!

More than I would care to admit.

Whenever I run, whatever I'm feeling inside,

grief, guilt, I gotta just let it go

and focus on whatever I'm running toward.

Iris, my friends, all the joy in my life.

When I'm happy, I run faster.

Just like when you phased earlier.

You were having a good time.

Couldn't dislocate your thumb until you got angry.

[Oliver sighs]

If you're gonna be the Green Arrow, and I'm gonna be the Flash...

Maybe we need to start acting more like each other.

[Kara] Yes, finally. God.

Superhearing. Sorry, but I've been sitting in there

waiting for you guys to figure this out,

because I have a lot of thoughts, okay?

I should smile more?

Yeah, maybe you should. It might help.

You guys have to act the parts.

-Come on, try it. -What?

[imitates Oliver] "I'm the Green Arrow." [laughs]

[in gruff voice] "Wear a mask."

-[laughing] -I don't sound like that...

-Cisco. -Hey.

Supergirl.

Barry. Oliver.

You believe us now?

Yeah, we all do. Sorry we locked you up.

But if you feel like forgiving us and coming back to Earth-1,

we've got a little bit of a sitch back home,

like a, "Please, for the love of God,

"there's a killer robot destroying the city," kind of sitch.

We could use some help.

-Let's do it. -You wanna tag along?

If you don't, I will, Smallville.

Cool. Who are you?

A friend.

[people screaming]

-Where the hell is Cisco? -I'm right here.

And I brought the big guns.

-What are they doing? -Trying to keep Amazo off-balance

before it has time to replicate their abilities.

Finish him.

[Cisco] No sign of movement.

Nice work.

We got lucky.

[rumbling]

Uh, guys, you might wanna get out of the way.

What the hell is he doing?

Exactly what we wanted to avoid.

Well, that's not great.

Amazo copied all of their powers.

And now it's on the hunt for more.

Cisco, there's gotta be something you can do to stop it.

How do you stop a T-3000 that kills for breakfast?

It's a computer, right? So just turn it off.

-I hate it when you're right. -"When" I'm right.

Come on, let's go.

-It can phase. -That's what that's called?

We can't fight what we can't hit.

I've got an idea. Bring him back here.

No problem.

Move.

When he comes back, knock him down.

He won't be able to phase and run at the same time.

-[Cisco] Guys, where are we at? -I think we got it.

We reverse-engineered Amazo's operating system

and whipped up a virus to wipe his CPU.

-Not so difficult. -Except...

Except it's a robot that has replicated their super strengths,

and thus, now it is impenetrable,

so you cannot put the virus inside it, and that's not great.

Okay, so what do we do?

Look, if Amazo inherited all of their strengths,

then maybe it inherited their weaknesses, too.

Only we're not gonna weaken it, Iris. We're gonna send it straight to hell.

Oliver, you're gonna have to counteract Amazo's phasing

while Supergirl and Superman hold it.

[Cisco] Got it.

I'll only have one shot.

Now bring me that virus, Cisco.

I'm here.

Get ready!

Done.

-Don't miss. -I won't.

[grunting]

Hurry up!

[in gruff voice] Amazo, you have failed this city.

Amazo has been dismantled

and every piece locked up in a S.T.A.R. Labs vault,

except for this one. This is my souvenir.

A round of applause, everybody.

Félicitations, Flash.

That's quite a performance you did out there.

Well, I appreciate that, but I'm still Oliver Queen.

And I am still Barry Allen.

I don't know, guys. You took down Amazo in one shot.

Only the Green Arrow can do that.

And, Oliver, you outran Amazo, just like the Flash.

Maybe we should stick with this whole body-swap thing for a while.

Seems to be working okay.

I don't know that anybody would be too worried

if you two don't switch back.

No, no, no.

We need to figure out who did this to Barry and Oliver, and why,

and then, we're gonna reverse it, okay?

[sighs] Caitlin, any thoughts?

I haven't quite figured it out yet, but until I do,

I am confident that Central City and Star City are in good hands.

Speaking of "in good hands,"

I should probably get back to Metropolis and Lois.

If anything were to happen, her entire world's unprotected.

Yeah, yeah, I get it.

Thank you for helping us, Clark.

We couldn't have stopped Amazo without you.

Oh, not so sure about that.

Allo, Clark, help a genius out, would you? Look...

-No, no. -I want to give you this check.

I do this for free. The whole helping humanity thing.

[laughs] You think that I'm giving you... No, no. Not for that.

This is an alimony check for my third wife.

She also live on Earth-38.

And I might be a little bit behind in the payment.

If you could just do me the favor.

You want me to deliver this to your ex-wife?

To my ex-wife. My third ex-wife.

-You're welcome. -Ah, you're welcome, too.

He's super.

Man, I can trust him, right?

Are you okay?

No.

You did a great job with Amazo,

but at what cost, Barry?

What do you mean?

Do you know why I let you and Oliver go?

It was because of something that I felt.

When I stopped looking with my eyes

and I started listening with my heart,

I realized that you, Barry Allen,

have always been and will always be the man that I love.

No matter what mask I wear, I'll always show you my true face.

I need you to promise me something, Barry.

Promise me that when we figure out who did this to you,

and when you get your speed back and you're finally back in my arms,

that you'll come back to me.

Of course I'll come back.

Barry, I heard what you said right before you took that shot.

You're the Green Arrow now,

but please don't become Oliver Queen.

I won't.

I promise.

[Cisco] Barry, we need you in the workshop.

So you think this person you saw

has something to do with what's happened to Barry and Oliver?

I mean, I saw him right after these two swapped capes.

You've been having trouble with your vibes lately, right?

-Maybe it's that. -No. This was beyond me.

It felt like something important.

We need to see it.

Okay. Hang on.

[exclaiming] My God! I can see everything.

Fascinating.

I wouldn't have thought the men of this Earth had this capacity.

But it won't avail you.

None of you can stop what's been set into motion.

You're best off giving up now,

because nothing you can do can alter what's about to happen.

-[gasps] -[Kara] Are you okay?

No, not even close.

What did you see?

This.

I don't recognize him.

Doesn't matter. I know where to find him.

So what's our next move?

We're going to Gotham City.

[theme music playing]