All language subtitles for Kyaa.KoX]

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'If you open the Mumbai
telephone directory..'

'..you will find 5940369 Rahuls.'

'But Sonu Nigam..'

'..sorry, the telephone
department doesn't know that..'

'..one more Rahul had come
to this city two years ago.'

'That same Rahul is
shifting to his new flat today.'

What happened?
- Is he having fits?

'No. He has come down from
1500 sq ft to the floor..'

'..and do you know why?'

'Because of his friend,
philosopher and guide, Karan..'

'..alias Pandey.'
- Why are you pushing me around?

Show some respect. I know that
your rent for a few months is due.

'The two of them met at the
fashion designing institute..'

'..from where they
passed with flying colors.'

You called your summer
collection the 'Naked Truth'..

..and made them walk
the ramp in underwear?

The two of you are expelled
from this college. - Okay.

Ma'am. Please ma'am.

Ma'am, can you refund the
rest of the fees? - Get out!

You said that we will go to a new
house. But this is our building.

Yes. Earlier we used to go
through the front door..

..now we will use the back door.

'In spite of being a talented
designer, Rahul couldn't find..'

'..the stairs to success.'

'But as far as climbing was
concerned, Karan was on top of all.'

We are back.

We hardly left and they have
already covered everything.

I can't believe that we have
come to the same old house.

And this time, we won't
have to pay the rent too.

When did we pay it earlier?

'As far as jobs were concerned,
they were both very lucky.'

'Who will complain
about lower salary..'

'..when young guys get a
chance to dress young girls?'

'Anyway, neither of them
spends cash or uses credit cards..'

'..to get on in life.
They do it on credit.'

I don't trust you a bit.

But, I am giving you
credit after seeing his face.

Two suits.
- 'Sood' (Interest)?

I thought he said something else.

Yes. We will give back your
interest. - I said the same thing.

We're so cool!

'Don't ask me where these
two are off to wearing suits.'

'They are off on an important
mission.' - Hey, will you drive?

I am hungry, buddy.

Today, there is neither
any wedding nor christening..

..neither is there a death
anniversary nor a birthday.

What shall we do for food, buddy?

You always think of only food.

Think about what we
will do about our drinks.

You don't talk about drinking.

I need it compulsorily after drinks.

Yes, buddy. I also need it.

I am talking about sleep.

I am also talking about sleeping.

'Their solution is a school party.'

'A school that neither of
them has ever been to..'

'..and a party that
neither has been invited to.'

'That is how it is.'
- Park it properly.

Cycle? - Get the air checked also.

Hi, Priya!
- Hi, there.

Hi, Raj. Hi, Sachin.

Hello. Hello.

Enjoy yourself.

God bless. God bless.

Come here.
- Kebabs?

That is why I don't take
him to Taj and Oberoi.

You go on, okay?

Yes. Yes. - I will be back.

What is for dinner?
- There is a lot.

Come here every five minutes. - Okay.

What's your name?
- Guddu.

Hey come here.

Guddu. - Okay.

You don't meet me these days.
- You also don't meet me.

Hi, how are you?
- Fine, how about you.

Guddu, do you remember that she was
like a carom board in the school?

Now it has become
like a mountain. - Yes.

How did this happen?

For 2 years she is working
in the silicon valley.

Anjali, did you hear that Sanju
might be coming tonight.

That too from America.

What? Sanju! The one who was
everyone's heart throb in school?

I hope you are not pulling
a fast one. - No.

It is a long time since
I've seen him. - I too.

He is in America for
the last 12 years.

A boy from America. Must be
an accomplished play boy.

Come here.

When Sanju comes we must take a
party from him. - But what for?

Because our Sanjana has become
Miss America. - Oh really.

Then we must ask for
a party. Cheers.

Friend, just one more.

Come on, buddy. Come
on, please don't.

Kabab.

Darling!
- Move.

Excuse me, have you seen my Naina.

Forget Naina. Did you see that boy?

You will not change, sir.

At least at this stop doing
all these experiments.

Good for nothing.

Have you written down
everyone's name? - Yes.

Check out who that boy is.
- Okay.

Hello Prof. Mistry.

Hi. - Did you recognize me?

Wow!
- Priya Mehta, roll no 69.

That's lovely. You even
remember my roll no.

If it is 69 who can forget it?

I remember you professor.
I loved chemistry.

Thank you, dear. Go
and enjoy yourself.

Thank you professor, Bye.
- Bye.

Hello my boy.
How are you? - Professor Mistry.

I too haven't forgot
your chemistry classes.

Thank you. Thank you so much.
- When the servant maid uses..

.. phenol in the commode..
- Commode?

Yes, I'm reminded of you.

But you. - That unique style
of teaching that you had.

Tell it now, tell it now
that this is ammonia.

But..
- That was mind blowing, sir.

But this song I've listened
recently. - Tell me your name.

One minute sir.

Tell me your
name of I'll throw you out.

Sanju, oh my god! Is that you?

Sanju, when did you
come from America?

The name is Sanju.

Who is this Sanju? - He seems to be
an accomplished play boy, buddy.

Playboy! But how will his
face match with mine?

Every one is meeting him after
12 years, buddy. Just cheer up.

Ladies and gentlemen. Listen
Jessica, Pooja and Shilpa.

See who has come.
Sanju from America.

Let me introduce you to others.
- Yeah.

But Sanju was a girl.

Come on gals and guys. Let is spice
up the night with our culture.

Everyone get on the floor.

How cool we are, how cool we are.

How cool we are, how cool we are.

There is a lot of stuff in us.

How cool we are, how cool we are.

How cool we are, how cool we are.

There is a lot of stuff in us.

How cool we are, how cool we are.

How cool we are, how cool we are.

How cool we are, how cool we are.

How cool we are, how cool we are.

There is a lot of stuff in us.

The cool air of romance.

It comes from the lane we stay.

Loafer, Romeo and crazy.

Everyone calls us by
different names,

The dreamy eyes and
the wavering feet.

They all oblige us a lot.

How cool we are, how cool we are.

How cool we are, how cool we are.

There is a lot of stuff in us.

How cool we are, how cool we are.

How cool we are, how cool we are.

There is a lot of stuff in us.

Every girl is after me,
what shall I do?

How cool we I am.

How cool we I am.

They want to meet me in the open.

They want to meet me hiding away
from others, what shall I do?

How cool we I am.

I'm desire of every girl and every
girl says that I'm on fire.

This had to happen. How cool I am.

How is that all the girls in
this world fall for you.

How is that you are able to
hook girls, teach me too.

Hear buddy that day too will come.

When the stars of your fortune
shall also shine.

I have accepted you as my mentor.

You teach me the art of Romance.

I'm lost on the world
of love and Romance.

I have no botheration about
the miseries of this world.

How cool we are, how cool we are.

How cool we are, how cool we are.

There is a lot of stuff in us.

How cool we are, how cool we are.

How cool we are, how cool we are.

There is a lot of stuff in us.

We're so cool!

There is no one like
you and me here.

You mean sex change.
How is that possible?

You and me are the topic
of discussion here.

Come into the folds of my arms.

Don't go away annoyed
with me like this.

Let my chance also be on.

Let my fortune be also awakened.

Listen to me. You also
become like me.

Come one shirk of your shyness.

How cool we are, how cool we are.

How cool we are, how cool we are.

There is a lot of stuff in us.

How cool we are, how cool we are.

How cool we are, how cool we are.

There is a lot of stuff in us.

How cool we are, how cool we are.

How cool we are, how cool we are.

You again got us into
a problem. Sanju, shit!

How will I know that Sanju
is a girl and not a boy?

Our life is also a hell.
We eat lunch on credit..

.. and pay for the punches
that we get.

How many times have I told
you not to play blind?

This much my father also
didn't insult me..

.. when he threw
me out of the house.

Don't remind me of my father,
buddy.

When I left Delhi he..

.. came to the
station to see me off.

He had tears in his eyes when he
said that.. - What did he say?

He said that promise me that you'll
never return back home.

See there is a bird there.
- In the night? It must be a bat.

Not the flying one, buddy.
The one that makes us fly.

See there.
- Oh!

She is not in our level, buddy.
Her father must be a millionaire.

After marriage we reduce
the millions.

This had to go bad now.
- Mercedes doesn't have its..

.. earlier reputation. - Yes, buddy.

Why don't you buy a Ferrari?

I was going to buy that but there
was only one piece in the showroom.

Sachin was adamant in buying that.

You mean Tendulkar. - Yes.

I left that car for the sake of
the nation and he is crying..

.. for such a small thing.
- Yes, buddy. So sad.

Oh Mercedes. Mine is also
a Mercedes. Any problem?

Look at this. The door
is not opening.

Opening things is my specialty.

Come on, give me the kiss.
I mean give me the keys.

Here you are.

Your fingers seem to
have magic in them.

All my eleven fingers
have magic in them.

Then show me that magic.
- No, not here.

Let us go to a place where
both of us are all alone.

Sure! - Then let's go.

Let's go.
- Where shall I leave the Mercedes?

Leave it at Krishna cottage.
- Okay.

Yes.

Can I ask you something?
- Yes.

Don't you have any boyfriends?
I mean..

Actually I like the
height of the Muslim boys..

.. and the width
of the Gujarati boys.

It is not only difficult
to get such a..

.. combination but it is also
impossible to find one.

You didn't tell me your name.
- Nasiruddin Shah.

Perfect.

So you work in the movies.
- No, I'm not that one.

God is great! His fortune always
takes him forward and..

.. my fortune makes me
climb from the back.

Sir, the commissioner
has called for you.

Sir.

I had called for the Havaldar,
why have you come?

I'm Havaldar sir.

Then why are you wearing the
uniform of an inspector?

Sir I'm an inspector. - You're an
Havaldar (constable) and an inspector.

Two positions at the same time.

Sir, my name is Havaldar and I'm
an inspector in the force.

I'm inspector Havaldar.
- Shut up.

Your case is more complicated
than this case. Idiot!

This is the fifth case
in the last 2 months.

Sir, a girl has been raped
and murdered in the lift.

What is the police doing in
this connection? What are you doing?

I'm shaking it up. - What?

I mean that I've shaken
up the police force.

If the police can't solve this
case then we'll take the help..

.. of an expert.
- Expert! What type of an expert?

A person with the experience
of rape and murder. - What?

I mean a person who has
solved such cases before.

What can be the motive behind
such murders, sir?

Time pass.
- What, time pass?

When there is rape the
motive is clear. Sex.

Sex can be bought with money too.

Every one is not as fortunate
as you are, madam.

How are you sure that all
these murders have been..

.. committed by the same person?

That is because this time also
there is a red rose near the..

.. dead body and a part from the
body is also missing as earlier.

This time which part
is missing, sir?

That is.. Sorry, I can't tell in front
of a family audience watching TV.

In your opinion who could it be who
is committing all these murders?

To look at he will an ordinary
man you and me but behind..

.. that mask of an innocent man is
the face of murderous, inhuman devil.

I'm sorry Mrs. Gaitonde. I'm
in a helpless situation.

I don't know what you are but
you are like a cow to me.

Good morning uncle.

Will you tell about this to
anybody? - Have we told till today.

No, thank you.

What's this? Stop it.

Run! Run!

The day I catch you that doll
of yours will be finished.

The suit taken on hire
has been damaged.

That stammering fellow Popat
of the laundry will kill me.

Sir, someone has unnecessarily
instigated you.

There is no ghost in this house.

I need money badly, so I'm
selling this house cheap.

The landlord. I think that
we must vanish now.

Come. This is the flat with 24 hours
water and 24 hours electricity.

You'll also get fresh air
and a good view for free.

Now you bring your wife
and start living here.

Why can't I live with another
woman? - Of course, why not?

One minute.
- Okay. One minute.

Hello darling, I had come on a work
hence couldn't ring you up.

Who are you?

I don't have a name.
- Why?

Since my rebirth hasn't
happened yet.

I'm looking for a body.

Were you looking for me?
- Yes.

I can go anywhere. Inside
your phone too.

Why my phone?

Isn't incoming free? - Yes.

Where is he?
- You have to lend me your body.

'Praise the lord. Lord save
me from the miseries.'

'The lord who shall keep
ghosts away from you.'

The ghost is itself
chanting prayers.

Ghost!

How many misunderstandings
do human have?

How many times have I
told you that..

.. they don't stay
here anymore? Go from here.

Why don't you understand
what I'm telling you?

They have given me this address
and told me to come..

.. here and take the suit from them.
- Shut up.

I have given it on hire to
them. I have a laundry.

You are talking obscene
you dirty man.

I'll not leave you. I have supplies
suits to a lot of big men.

Get lost.

Ghost!

What is this happening. Someone
is shouting ghost..

.. and someone is shouting
for his suit here.

How hard that fatso
hit me on my heart.

In the backside there is Popat and
in the front it is the land lord.

How do I go out from here?

This is seventh customer that
I brought and he ran away..

.. as if he saw a ghost.
- Ghost!

What is wrong? Why did
you get startled?

Have you also seen the ghost?
- Yes, sir.

Three time - Three time.

Where?

On the CD. - On the building stairs?

No, on a pirated CD.

I'm not talking of that movie.
I'm talking of real ghosts.

Are that chaps Karan and Rahul
coming here stealthily?

What are you saying sir? Some
one 5 foot and 10 inches..

.. tall will go through this
place without me noticing.

No one can escape from my eyes.

Reall. - Yes.

But who are you?

Hello. Are you like
this from childhood?

You know I mean..

Have a nice day. Bye.
- Bye.

Go carefully.

How unkind god is? He will have to
remain alone throughout his life.

No, darling. God makes
a pair for everyone.

See he has made you
to be paired with me.

That's why I say that god
is so unfair. - Come home.

Hey Auto. Come here.

You can run away from this world.

How long will you run
away from your self?

Please look at my palms and
tell me about my fortune.

I don't have to see your hands.
I can see your face and tell.

The Saturn is annoyed with you.
Sunny Deol. I mean lord Shani.

Give me one thousand rupees. I'll
go out and perform prayers.

I don't have 1000 rupees.

Then 800. - I don't have that too.

500. - No.

200 - No.

At least you must have 100. - No.

Then how much do you have?

All put together I have
twelve and half rupees.

Then you don't have to
fear for anything, son.

Even the Saturn can't
do any damage to you.

Go. Vacate the place.

It seems that he has
become emotional.

Listen. You seem to
be a good person.

Come here and listen to me.
- Tell me.

A girl will come into your life.

Girl! - Yes, she won't be an
ordinary girl. She'll have a..

.. mole on her chest.

Mole on her chest! - Yes.

Once that girl comes your
fortunes will change.

Fame will fall at your feet. The
world will be behind you and..

.. you shall be ahead of the world.

Where will I get such a girl? - You
get the god if you seek for him.

Go and seek.

What are you staring at? Shall
I give you some thrashing?

Sorry.

Karan, what happened

This? That girl with whom..

.. I went last night on the
Mercedes. - Accident!

Did it hurt badly?
- No, you have to grow up.

You don't know, some
women like it wild.

Wild!
- That too in a 5 star hotel.

Then..

Then she gave everything over to me.

He said that he is Nasaruddin Shah
and forced me to sit in the car.

I didn't know that
the car was stolen.

Sir.. - Shut up.

I promise you that I didn't steal
the car. I have done nothing.

I just opened. - What?

Door.

Now I'll give you a thrashing,
get inside.

Then..

Then we went inside her
room. A deluxe suite.

Then she slowly started undressing.

Lucky man. After that?
- After that she tied my hands.

Sir, don't dare to touch me.

Why not? Your fingers
have magic, isn't it?

They don't have now they had it.
- Shut up.

Why are you silent?
Tell me after that.

Then she took out my belt.

Will you open it again? Nothing
of yours will open after that.

How long did it carry on?
- For the first ten minutes I was..

.. conscious and thereafter
I don't know.

When I gained consciousness
it was all over.

Then how did you come here?

She dropped me in her Mercedes.

It was one wild night, isn't it?
- Yes, buddy.

The girls like it that
way these days.

The night is over and everything
is forgotten.

But she will not be like that.

She! Who's that?

The one who'll change my fortune.
- Who will change your fortune?

That girl who will have
a mole in her chest.

Yes, buddy. One astrologer told
me today that one girl..

., like that will come into my
life and change my fortunes.

You do as I suggest.
You find a girl first.

Then you put a mole on her chest.

Because if you look
for a mole then you'll..

.. get beaten and
also get me beaten.

I have full faith that the girl..

.. who'll change my fate
will surely come. - Yes.

I don't know about yours but
mine has already come.

Hi
- Hi, may I help you?

Where can I find DK?
- You mean Dk.

You are? - Kiran.

I'm Karan. - Hi.

DK! Let's go.

Let's see. It Should be possible.

What are you doing here?

The moment I saw you.

The moment I came to know you.

The little consciousness
that I had.

Even that is gone.

Gone.
- What?

If the boss sees us like this
then we are finished.

Let's go.

Absolutely not now. You go and
tell Kiran not to bother me.

I need time to think, please.

But DK this is not right. Whatever
you're doing is not right.

So, you'll tell what I'm
doing is right or wrong.

I don't need your suggestions, baby.

Thank you.

You'll get us killed
doing like this.

Good morning.
- Good morning, sir.

Listen, if there is
a phone call for me..

.. from a person called Kiran..
- Kiran!

Then tell that I'm not available.
- Yes sir.

Say that I was never there. In
fact say anything you want.

You can say that I'm dead.

Dead, sir? - Yes, I'm dead.

Designs? - Completed, sir.

So where? - I'll just bring it.

Just bring it.

What is this beauty spot?

From a massage.
I mean from social service.

Are you contesting the elections?

Social service!
- Get lost.

That's good news. When do
I have to leave? Tonight!

Wonderful.

Okay send me the tickets. Remember
the name is DK Bose.

Otherwise it will be announced
wrong in the airport.

Doesn't sound very nice.

Hello.
- Sir, the designs.

I worked through the
night to make them.

How do you like them?
- Very nice.

Will my name appear
in them this time?

William Shakespeare has said
what's there in a name.

But he wrote his name
beneath this sentence.

That's because he was Shakespeare.
There was a weight in his name.

Got it.

Sir, the designs for the
summer collections.

We can look at them later.

Have you both made all arrangements
for the party..

.. that is to take place
today evening?

Yes, sir. You leave that to us.

The show in the evening
will be MTV style night.

It's an important show. I
don't want it messed up.

No.

I want to export that
directly to America.

Do you have proper clothes for
the evening? I mean suits.

Suits! Yes sir. - Don't take it from
the stores as you did last time.

Don't think that I didn't notice it.

1000 suits.
- Yes, suits.

For whom? - For big
stars like Amitabh Bachan.

Sachin Tendulkar.

Shahrukh Khan.
- Sunny Deol.

Salman Khan.
- Shiek Mehboob.

Shiek Mehboob!
- Yes, he is also a big star.

That means that the fate of
my laundry has changed.

Take this. Is the order confirmed?

Confirmed. Take these phone numbers
and collect your orders.

Amitabh. Listen.

You return it after the
order is complete. - Yes.

Give these back tomorrow.
Bring the old ones too.

But where will we get you tomorrow?
- Why.

You will be with Amitabh.
- Lunch with Salman.

Now you've become a big man, Popat.

It is my pleasure to invite all
of you to the MTV style night.

Please don't leave as we bring
to you the grand finale.

The show will tear your heart
and sweep you of your feet.

Performing for the very first
time for you at the MTV Style..

.. night please welcome the Indian
heart throbs all the way..

.. from the UK. Jaishan, Rishi
Rich, Juggy and Veronica.

MTV Style night.

He is the one who stole my heart.

He is the one who stole my heart.

He is the one who stole my heart.

He is the one who stole my heart.

He is the one who stole my heart.

What has happened to you?

Who has stolen your heart?

It's not your heart anymore.

How will you live now?

Listen to what I say that you've
slowly stolen my heart.

Who has stolen your heart?

He is the one who stole my heart.

'Rap Song'

'Rap Song'

'Rap Song'

It's my heart.

'Rap Song'

It's my heart.

'Rap Song'

It's my heart.

'Rap Song'

It's my heart.

You are my only girl
and you are a wonder.

It's my heart.

You are my only girl
and you are a wonder.

He is the one who stole my heart.

'Rap Song'

'Rap Song'

'Rap Song'

'Rap Song'

'Rap Song'

'Rap Song'

'Rap Song'

'Rap Song'

'Rap Song'

It's my heart.

'Rap Song'

It's my heart.

'Rap Song'

It's my heart.

'Rap Song'

It's my heart.

What has happened to you?

Who has stolen your heart?

It's not your heart anymore.

How will you live now?

I've lost it you.
- It's my heart.

Please listen to what
I've got to say.

It's my heart.

Why did you steal it?

'Rap Song'

'Rap Song'

'Rap Song'

'Rap Song'

'Rap Song'

It's my heart.

'Rap Song'

It's my heart.

'Rap Song'

It's my heart.

Please listen to what
I've got to say.

It's my heart.

Please listen to what
I've got to say.

It's my heart.

What has happened to you?

Who has stolen your heart?

It's not your heart anymore.

How will you live now?

What has happened to you?

Who has stolen your heart?

It's not your heart anymore.

How will you live now?

What has happened to you?

Who has stolen your heart?

It's not your heart anymore.

How will you live now?

That was a fine show, DK.

Thank you sweetie. - Bye

Stop this nonsense. I told you that
I'm going to America for 1 month.

Yes, sir.
- Okay.

What did I just say?

Pack all these things and
send it to the store.

Carefully.
- Oh sure, sir.

Where is your partner in crime?

He is actually.
- What is this? Massage service.

Just relax.

Did someone tell you that you've
magic in your fingers?

Will you open a car door anymore?

It is your magnanimity. Moreover
you have a large heart.

Why did you stop? Keep massaging me.

The girl with the mole?
My sister in law.

There?
- Yes, buddy.

Is there a mole in her chest?
- You don't believe me.

No like that, buddy. - Now
go and propose to her.

The marriage will be in the night
and the honeymoon in DK's flat.

Is that the keys to DK's flat?

Yes, now we will enjoy
one full month there.

It's not nice to go to 5 star
hotels using a girl's money.

Now go.
- Yes.

But what will I do, buddy?

It's simple. Take a rose
and smile at the girl.

But a little less.

If in response the girl
smiles then wink at her.

Only one eye.

Yes.

If she gets up and walks away then
it means she is calling you.

Go and propose to her.

It's working.

She looks a little outdated.

But I've got to do this
to update my fortunes.

She is calling you.

She is hooked. She has
called me alone.

Let me go and check up the mole.

Excuse me. - Yes.

Hey, take away your hands.
- Listen to me.

The mole.
- Police! Help!

Help!

Madam, what happened?
Why were you shouting?

Tell us what is the matter.

A young man came with
a red rose and..

Look that side. You please
look that side.

He put his hand.. Have
you understood? - Yes.

I hope it was not
that serial killer.

The one who rapes the
girls and kills them.

Serial killer!

I'm a fool. Whom did
I take advice from?

I escaped by a hairline.

I don't know what that woman
must be thinking about me?

You. - I just wanted to see
whether you have it or not.

That's why I.. - Not here.
Go there. Please go away.

Madam, stop. Control. I'm not
able to control myself, madam.

Please help me, madam.
- Help.

I'm unable to control, madam.
Help me. - Help.

Control me, madam. Madam!

Madam, my pants.

Madam, please forgive me.
I'm not able to control.

Madam, help me. Madam, control.

Yes, we shall do it. That's
what we are here for.

A big nuisance.
- What happened?

Here we are not getting the rapist.
There is this supplier..

.. called Popat who is telephoning
big shots and..

.. tellling them that he will
supply girls to them.

Hey, go and enquire.
- Yes, sir.

Inspector, I shouldn't
have left my husband.

One minute.. - I was rocking.

This is not a Chinese van.
It's a police station.

That's why I have come here
to give a complaint.

Complaint? Please tell me.

Someone tried to rape me.

Rape you?
- Yes.

Are you sure?
- Of course I'm sure, idiot.

Are you sure that this
is the same person.

Yes, sir. The woman says that
he also had a red rose which..

.. we find near every corpse.

He also had a machine to cut..

.. parts from the body.

I'm sure sir that he
is the same killer.

Once we get his description
the photo would be released..

.. and that person would
be behind bars.

Look inspector.

I don't want to take any
chance in this case.

Hence as I had said I'm appointing
an expert to solve this case.

Expert!
- Yes, Dr. Srewala.

Dr. Srewala is a practicing doctor.

But he is a master in
criminal psychology.

I know him from the time he used..

.. to teach psychology
in Delhi University.

He has major contributions in
catching big serial killers.

He has recently returned after
assisting Scotland yard.

He will assist us in this case
on our personal request.

Let him work on this case
in his own style.

Because he has his own theory
in solving such cases.

Three, two and one.

Dr. Srewala, have you
forgotten something?

Yes, purse.

Not the purse but you've forgotten
to wear your trousers.

Where is the purse?
- Inside your trousers.

So you see logic.

The trousers will also come
along with the purse.

You see, what I practice at home,
that psychological..

.. theory I practice
on my patients also.

Don't practice this theory
and forget me one day.

How can I forget you? Mrs..

Parvati.

Who is that?

Joking! Mrs. Srewala.

Listen. Don't take up
any dangerous case.

You remember that you narrowly
escaped death..

.. at the railway yard in
Scotland yard and took..

.. a vow that you'll never take
up any case henceforth.

You had promised that
you'll only practise.

I will stick to it. - Promise.

Promise.

Take this.
- One sec. Hello.

Yes.

I'm reaching in another
5 minutes. Yes, I will.

It's more..

.. more small.. and scary.

And hair.. just like yours.
Straightened up.

The nose was not like this.

Welcome sir.
I'm Inspector Hawaladar.

Actually, sir, I.. - You're
Inspector but your name is Hawaldar.

Oh! The Commissioner was right.

You're really special, sir.

Are you searching for something?
- Balls.

Balls? - Yes, found 2 but still
looking for the third one.

Three? You're extra-special, sir!

Myself Hiya Hingorani from
Honk Kong. Yes, sir?

Miss Hingorani.. choose ball.
- Why, sir?

This is Dr. Screwwala. The famous
criminal psychologist.

Do as he says.
- Oh!

Okay.

Right.
- Right?

My doubt has proved right.
She is a victim.

You're really special, sir.

But, how did you come to know with
the ball that she's a victim?

Inspector, Hawaldar..
- Yes?

Haven't you read my thesis?

The theory of my three balls?

Read them. And you'll
understand everything.

Now give me the case details.

The first murder was at Kalyan,
then Kandivali..

.. then Kanjurmarg, then Kurla,
then Kalbadevi..

.. then the last attempted murder
at Khar.. is that right?

Yes, sir.
- What do you think, inspector?

Every word starts from
the letter 'K.'

This man likes the word 'K.'

Sir! I've got it!
- Oh, really?

'Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham.'

'Kuch Kuch Hota Hai.'
'Kal Ho Na Ho.'

Sir, there's a new
suspect in my eyes.

'Kahani Ghar Ghar Ki.'
'Kasauti Zindagi Ki.'

I've got another suspect in my eyes.

And if we work shoulder
to shoulder..

.. then we'll
certainly succeed, sir.

Who is Ekta?

He's the one!
- Oh!

The ruffian! - Got him!

Sir, we've got him!

This very face has snatched
away the peace in my life!

I won't spare him! I'll release
his photo in the press!

You'll not at all do that.

If you arrest him on the
statement of a woman..

.. then any able lawyer
will get him out.

And I really don't want that!
- Then what do you want?

I want to catch him red handed!

I want to catch him red handed!

From today on operation 'Fail'
starts. - Operation 'Fail! '

But, why operation 'Fail', sir?

Inspector, you shall get
to know about that..

.. after the success of
the operation.

Oh! Oh, sir!

On one hand it's the Pandit..
and on the other it's you!

Both are special!

His address.. his food.. his
drink.. his usual hanging places..

.. and the place where he sleeps..
and with whom does he sleep..

.. everything.. everything
about this guy. - Yes, sir!

Oh, yeah!

Oh, yeah!

Oh, yeah!

Oh, yeah!

Do you know..

.. just for these films..

.. Japan has made such a TV..

.. that you can go into
it from the backside.

What are you talking about?

But, where's the way to come out?

When there's so much fun inside..

.. then why would anybody
want to come out? - Yeah.

Actually, they were also trying
to stop me inside..

.. but I had to come out
with a heavy heart.

Just for you.
- Thanks.

It seems they are calling you
again. - It's the phone.

Hello.
- Hi, Love.

Please, don't put the phone down.

Please listen to me.

Hello.

Look.. nobody should know that
we're living in DK's house.

Yes, we don't stay here.

Look, DK, you cannot fool
me by changing your voice.

I know that you're at home.

Why are you doing this
to me? What's my fault?

Nothing.
- Let go!

Nobody should know.. that's why.

Hello.. hello!

O my God!

Dk.. you've not done the right
thing by being unfaithful to me.

You've seen the love of Kiran..
and not her retribution.

By the way..
whoever the girl was..

.. she seemed to be quite
perturbed with DK.

Hey.. was it that Kiran?!

The one who was fighting
with him at the store?!

Be it Kiran or Raj Kiran..

.. don't put ourselves in another
mess by meddling into DK's affairs!

Not again.

I was simply giving her a shoulder,
man. - Shoulder?!

If you give her a shoulder..

.. then DK's gonna lend a shoulder
to you (dead body)!

And, he won't be alone.. there
will three men along with him.

And, you.. what will you do?
- Me?

I'll walk ahead with
a pot in my hand.

Just stop giving me lectures.

Think about your own love life.
Think about marriage.

That oily old girl of yours..
she's getting further old.

Don't remind me of that!

Let me eat. - Here.

Just don't know where the girl
might be.. who's my destiny!

Madam.. we've brought him.

Catch.

Men! They are all use for nothing!

So, girl.. was he the same?

Tell me, girl.
- Yes, sis, he's the one.

When I was passing
through the lanes..

.. he pinched me on the butt and
called me 'Kimi Katkar (Actress).

Is it?

You move. Move. - Madam.. Madam..

Madam.. the thing is.. she's into
the habit of sleep walking..

.. so I was trying to wake
her up by pinching.

Waking up?
- Yeah.

And if I raise my baton.. neither
you'll be able to wake up..

.. nor will you be able to
lift anything! Rascal?!

Pinching?!

What's happening inside?
- Whatever's happening inside..

.. can happen with you as well.

Don't worry, Raghu.

You've just pick-pocketed, isn't it?

But this inspector Urmila Matondkar
is a danger woman..

.. she'll forgive you
for 100 killings..

.. but she won't ever spare
you for harassing a girl.

What.

It's the madam's call.

Hello? The madam's busy.

Tell him.

What? It's urgent.

Madam, your call.
- Who is it?

Some Kiran..
- What?

She's calling herself Kiran.
I refused her..

.. but she says it's
an pretty urgent.

Madam, the rod had been heated.

You like to pinch in
the butt, isn't it?

Thrust it!

It's Sub-inspector Urmila
Matondkar.. who's that?

I'm Kiran.

What do you want?

Inspector Matondkar,
I've heard that..

.. you go out of the way
to help people like me..

.. who have been betrayed in love?
- That's 100% right.

Seems you've also been betrayed?
- Sir.

Tell me the name of that scum
and I'll take care of him.

DK.. his name is name is DK.

We were into an affair
since past two years.

But when I spoke about marriage..
he simply refused.

He isn't picking up the phone even.
- Better go to his home.

I had to.. but the thing is.. my
parents are against this marriage.

They have bolted me
shut in the house.

And if DK doesn't stands by me..
then I'll commit suicide.

No, dear.. you shouldn't
talk like that.

Your DK needs a proper briefing.

Madam.. - Yeah?

The rod is still in.

Pull it out. - Okay.

And listen.. shove two more.

Yes, tell me his number and address.

Hey!

I've kept the press on Popat's suit!

Just keep an eye on it!
- Oh, shit!

I hope it's Kiran.

Hello. - Can I speak to D.
K, please?

He is.. but who are you?
- My name is Kareena.

I've heard a lot about him. But
never got a chance to meet him.

Can you please give the phone
to him? - Actually..

Actually, I'm DK here.
- DK!?

Oh, wow!

I'm a great fan of your designs.
- Me too.

Actually, sir.. I'm supposed to
take part in 'Miss Bhandup' contest.

Bhandup- I want you to design my
clothes. Will you do?

Yes, of course. In fact
I was born to do.

But, what's the need for clothes
to win the competition? - I know.

But it's written on the form
that clothes are compulsory.

Yeah, these days they
are very strict.

Fine. I'll come right away
to give you my measurement.

In the pretext we shall
meet each other.

I cannot wait for that.

Come soon and give it to me..
I'll be waiting for you.

Okay, then.. - Bye.

Soon.

Am I cool or am I cool?

So, you've become D. K?
- Yeah. You know how is it?

But, who is this DK?
- He's a dog.

He fooled a girl and is
then betraying her.

But I will see to it now.. as to
how doesn't he mends his ways.

Look.. listen to me..

.. what if the girl comes
to know the reality?

How will she, man?

She hasn't yet seen DK.

Now I'm DK for her.

Try understanding man.
The air is hot..

That's why I'm telling you.. play
cautiously.. or else you'll burn.

Didn't I tell you to keep an eye?!
- Sorry!

Now you've to handle
this thing and Popat!

Bye-bye to both DK and you!

Hey! Hey!

Hey! Hey!

Where's he? Disappeared!

The rascals.. gave me
all the wrong numbers..

.. and got me thrashed
from the public!

I won't spare him!
I won't spare him!

Excuse me..
- Huh?

Your keys.

'A girl shall come in your life..
who might have a mole on her heart.'

What you doing? - Sorry.

'Cool-Cool! '

'Cool-Cool! '

'Cool-Cool! '

Seems to less?

I've to manage.

Go.. and call the sir. - Okay.

I'm the sir.

So, you're DK?
- Any doubt?

Kareena?

Shahid.. I mean.. I mean DK.

Come. Please come in.

Don't be scared. Don't be
scared. I'm there baby.

Don't be scared.

Bye.

This means.. the moment our
lady officer lures him..

We'll catch him red handed.

The plan is good.

But why is it that you need an
officer of 20-30 for this operation?

Good question, Mr. Commissioner?

But, you've to understand that..

.. l'll have to create some
situations for him..

.. so that he will be in a
position to attempt rape.

And this particular
emotion will arise..

.. only when the girl is
between 20 and 30..

.. and she should be beautiful
and absolutely charming..

.. and.. sexy!

But, such an emotion
can arise even..

.. at the sight of an elderly
woman, Dr. Screwwala.

I'm not talking about you.

I'm talking about that killer.

Sir!
- Yes?

Sir.. as you told..

.. l've carefully selected four lady
officers from the department.

Good. Are they all
between 20 and 30?

They seem to be.

Come, sir. Sir, this is
Inspector Phule. - Phule?

This is Inspector Masoom Kumari.

Hello.
- Come.

This is Inspector Roopmati.
- Who?

Roopmati. - Hello.

Come.

This is Inspector Kamsin Gupta.

Are they all in the police
department? - Yes.

You can go.

Go - Thank you. Thank you

Nobody else?
- Else?

Yeah. She might be on the way.

But, she's very hot-headed.

She's called 'Ab Tak Chappan'
(56 as yet) in the department.

57!

Your DK is number 57 whom
I've straightened out.

He might pick up anything
else or not..

.. but he'll certainly
pick up your phone.

Get away!

Okay.Kiran.

Who is she?

Sir, she's Urmila Matondkar.
- Urmila Matondkar..

Is she okay?
- She needs some repairing but..

Where's he?

Is she okay?
- Yes.

Mr. Commissioner.. if
I wear short dresses..

.. and if I tell him 'Welcome'..
then let alone that rapist..

.. not any common man will leave me.

Isn't it, Dr. Screwwala?
Isn't it normal?

Do you find this man as normal?!

Lights off!

Look.. he's reminded of something
the moment he sees the watch.

And he risks his life.. to
reach somewhere on time.

But, where?

That's the reply to it.

He knows that a girl arrives in
the balcony daily at this time.

He has his timing for
this perversion.

Look.. Iook.. is this normal?

Motherf..
- Look ahead.

Any man can get excited at this
sight of this girl in this pose..

.. but except for the Commissioner.
- Right, sir.

This man's mind has crossed all
the limits to vulgarities.

Look what all he does when he's
unable to control his lust. - You..

And he tries to head
toward the girl..

.. but she's fortunate enough
to move out from there..

.. but then see what he does
to overcome his lust. Look.

When he can do all this
in broad daylight..

.. imagine what might he
not do during night.

No, his game is not up yet.

Now, here you might feel that
he's playing with the cat.

But, no.. his game is
something different.

This is normal, Mrs. Matondkar?

The bloody!

You gun seems to be
firing daily, man?

It was that Mercedes
babe the other day..

.. and today this one.. whom
did you enjoyed the most?

With this one?

Want to hear the details?
- Of course, man!

Tell me.
- She came into the bedroom.

Welcome to my bed.

How is it?

Great.
- Great, isn't it? I knew it.

In the bedroom? Wow.

Then?
- Then she held my hand in hers.

At her touch.. my whole world
started spinning. - Aaah!

What happened then?

Taange (Legs)! - So you went
in a Tanga (Horse carriage)?

Not the Tanga (Horse carriage)..

..her legs they were so beautiful..
I grabbed them tight!

Then? - Then she brought her
silky tresses near my face..

.. and then she spread
them on my face..

Then..

Then..

I'm telling you the truth!

I'm not DK! - Fooling Inspector
Urmila Matondkar?!

You, Rascle.

Wow! What happened next?

Then she took me
into the bathroom..

.. and in the bath-tub.. we three..
- Three?

Me.. her..
- The plumber?

Water.
- Oh, yeah water.

Water.
- What happened next?

We were lying in the water..

.. and a current was passing
through my body!

The phone's ringing! The phone.

Hello. - DK dear, please
don't put the phone down.

Yes, Miss Kiran, I'll
do whatever you say..

.. but the truth is.. I'm not DK.

What? You're not DK?
- Yeah.

Then where's DK?
- DK.. that dog.. that swine..

.. he betrayed you and
took off to America.

DK betrayed me and
went to America? - Yeah.

Did he forgot all the nights that he
spent with me at the Juhu Bungalow?

Juhu's Bungalow!

The promises he made in the
backseat of my Mercedes!

Mercedes!
- He forgot everything?

Miss Kiran.. if I..

.. had I been in DK's place then
I wouldn't have made you weep.

I would have never left you ever.
- Really?

I wish there was someone like
me in your life. I wish..

But.. have you ever seen me?

As I saw you.

As I got to know you.

I lost all my senses.

Ever since I saw you, Kiran.. I'm
unable to see anything else.

That means you really love me?

You're not after my money?

No, not at all.

I'm just after you, Kiran.

How romantic! Stay ever behind me.

And, you stay ever in front of me.
- How sweet!

I love you, Kiran.
- I love you, love.

My love, I love you.

I love you. I love you.

Help me, man. - From today on
I've stopped doing labour work.

Meaning? - You used to say not
to play in blind, isn't it?

Today I played it blind..
and I won the jackpot..

.. the car, the bungalow..
and Kiran.. everything!

How come?
- I've set Kiran.

Boss's Kiran?
- She was Boss's.. now she's mine.

Tomorrow she might
be someone else's.

Such girls are untrustworthy.

They forget everything along
with the passing night.

You better move. Go and
do the labour work.

Don't tell me later..
that I didn't tell you.

Don't tell me later!

Move in! Move in!

What's this, man? Where's it stuck?

Come out!

It's stuck in the wrong place, man!

What's this? Out! Out!

It will get torn!

I'll shoot the bastard right here!

Miss Matondkar do
you want to fail..

.. the operation 'Fail'
right on the first day?

We've to catch him red handed.
And not bare-handed.

But, look, what is he up to?!

Listen.. according to my plan..
first you go to his house.

Okay? Let's go.

Let's go.

We've to change your appearance.

Look..

.. at first Bihar has to
be turned into Mumbai..

.. and then in Mumbai.. Nalasopara
and Bhayander..

.. have to be turned
into Malabar hill.

It's difficult. But try it out.

Start!

We're so cool!

We're so cool!
- Get lost you asshole!

I'm sorry, madam. I
didn't recognise you.

Should I shove in the rod?!

Rod?! - Hold it. Hold it.

He didn't recognise
means its working..

.. but one thing has to be
changed.. your lingo.

Once I get a new job.. I'll
get rid of this DK.

Oh God! The landlord! When
will I get rid of him?!

God willing.. it should
get sold today.

God bless!

Come, madam. Here's the flat.

Come, madam. I'll show
you the whole flat.

I want to see it alone.
- Want to see it alone? Why?

I want to stay in here alone.
- Oh, I see.

Fine. You see it. I'll be back
from the society's office.

It's hot.

'A girl shall come in your life..
who might have a dot on her heart.'

Yes, here..

Don't tell him that
I'm here.. cut off!

So, sister, are you
purchasing this flat?

No, I don't want to purchase it.
Rather I want it on rent.

No, sister, I've repented a lot
since I gave it on rent once..

.. hence I don't want to
give it again on rent.

So what should I do?
I'll make a move.

Seems like the house is jinxed.
It isn't getting sold off.

Hello. - Screwwala's in there?

Who are you? - Hey!

Urmila Martod.
- Urmila Martod!

He's bathing.

Hello.

Just excuse me please, one second.

Go out for a while.
Thank you very much.

Sorry to keep you holding but..

.. I hope you didn't tell Mrs.
Screwwala about your identity?

No.
- Good.

She might not be able to bear it if
she comes to know all of a sudden.

Hold on, please.

Stop suspecting!

Have you been to his house?
- Yes, I've.

He has got a filthy sight!
The bloody..

Language, Miss Matondkar. Be
careful of your language.

Yeah.
- What happened next?

What else.. I said I don't want
to purchase it.. give it on rent.

Good good. Did he hear you
say that? - Yes, he did.

Now, do as he says. Don't argue.

He'll definitely come after you.

Come here.

Come here!

Come!

Look.. I've heard
you talking to him.

You want this flat on rent,
isn't it? - Hmm.

You'll get it. Actually you don't
have to given the rent even.

You can stay with me.
The way I stay.

But.. - But?

Are you okay in mounting?
- What did you say?!

Nobody should know about it..

.. so the mounting should
be done from behind.

By the way.. today's it's the day
off.. nobody will come over there.

Don't be scared.

Just come to stay over there.
- When?

Tonight at 2 A.M.

Okay?
- Hmm.

Hey! One minute! One minute!

What's your name?
- Urmila.

Rahul. Nice to meet you.

Please do come. 2 at night.

Ouch!

I'll see you. Bye.

What?

2 at night? In the dark?

To climb up without practice?
It might a bit difficult.

But are you calling from a PCO?
- Yes, sir, I'm calling from a PCO.

Because I don't want my wife
to get hold of your mobile number.

Do one thing.. call me five minutes
later on my mobile phone.

Put down the phone.

You, Idiot!

Stop suspecting me!

I'll see.. as to where did
the phone come from!

Tell me.

Some girl called up from your place.

Madam, a lot many girls
come here and make calls.

Whom all should I keep stock of?

After all I run a business.
- What business?

Laundry business. - What?

I pack clothes (stammering).

Do you want something?

I still don't believe, man..
that she agreed.

That girl with the spot
is coming home, man.

She's coming home to stay.

Now we two shall stay together.

Not two.. but three.. even
I'm gonna stay there.

Stay at the Boss's place
for some time.

Boss's place?

By the way.. I'm unable to
sleep without wearing..

.. the Boss's negligee.. I mean
night-suit. It's so difficult.

By the way.. what about
that girl of yours?

About her? It's really grave.

Her parents really belong
to Hitler's lineage!

You never told me that
Kiran is from Germany!

By Hitler I mean they
are very strict!

They have locked her in a room!

I don't think I'll be
able to without her.

I mean.. without her money.

I've already settled down
at her Marine Drive flat.

Then what are you planning to do?

Today I'm going to her house..

.. and I'll show them that
I'm no less a being!

Tell me.. is it easy find
handsome grooms like me?

Everyone shall go head over heels!

They will freeze at my sight!

Munna, your father had built this
White House with all his black money.

Yes, he did.. but we've to
sell it because of Kiran.

Is that man coming to see the house?

No, his son is coming.

Actually the boy is supposed
to get married..

.. and he'll be staying
her after his marriage.

Oh my!

The height of this bungalow is
really sinking me to the bottom!

He loves me! He loves me not!

He loves me!

He loves me not!

You're real crazy.
- Yes, crazy in love!

Kiran!

Wow!

He's so handsome!

Cool!

Look, we're so cool!

Who's that man-woman besides Kiran!?

He's the same one.. who
works at DK's store..

.. that means first it was
DK and now it's him..

.. just don't know what spell
do you cast on them!

What have you got that I don't?

That extra.
- Huh!?

Coming!

He's coming upstairs! Just don't
know what shall happen!

I'm coming, love! I'm coming!

Stop, Kiran!
- Please do something.

How you, Ramu?
- Cool, man. Just chilling.

It seems he has come.

Come, come.
- Come, please come. Welcome.

The party's onto something
else it seems.

Come.

Bless me, uncle. Bless me aunt.
- God bless you.

Sakubai (Maid)!
- Huh?!

You met them at the
time of Diwali, Isn't it?

She's my mother.

Be seated. - Oh! Grandma!

At least there's this satisfaction
that our thing..

.. is going into safe hands.
- Yes, of course.

Child, what will you have?
Hot, cold, or..

I'll eat and drink
after the marriage.

No, child. You've come here
for the first time.

Ghatotkach!
- Ghatotkach!?

Will you see the house, son?

What's there to see, father?
Whatever's there.. it's ours.

I mean after marriage it's mine.

That's right, son. We're guests
in here just for a short time.

Don't worry, grandma.
I'm there for you.

After you depart.. I'll properly
conduct your final rites.

Final rites!? - He's talking
about the supplication.

Why not? Why not? It's necessary
to supplication. - True. true.

So, should we take it as final?

Final?

To tell the truth.. I thought
you might object to it.

Why is that so?
- I mean.. it happens..

.. to hand over your priced
treasure to a stranger.

How it is.. I know.

But.. you guys are a great
family. Great family!

By the way..

.. where's Kiran?
- Kiran!

You know Kiran?

You joke really well.
You naughty-naughty!

Kiran!

Kiran!

I like his sense of humour!
- They have locked me here!

I hope mummy & daddy didn't
do anything to you!

Both are ready.

What's this, uncle? You've
locked in Kiran?!

One minute.. who are you?

Who am I? Jokes yet again?

I'm your would-be son in law.

And, Kiran's would be husband.

By the way.. is there any affair
between these two? - Shut up!

He's the one who has provoked Kiran!

Uncle, why have you turned
into a villain..

.. from a supporting actor
all of a sudden? - Shut up!

He's wants to gain from
her na*i*ve nature!

Get lost from here! - Look, uncle..

.. I've come here
to talk about marriage.

Talk with some respect.

Be shameful, you scoundrel!

What shame? I've just come
here to seek Kiran's hand!

You're talking as if I've
made Kiran pregnant!

O' God!

How shall we face the people?!
- Shanti! Shanti, listen to me!

I'm trying to tell the
same thing to Shanti.

Get lost from here.
Get lost from here!

Get lost! Get lost!

Get lost or I'll shove a blunt sword.

You'll die with the septic!

Please, listen to me.

Get lost, scum! Or else I'll
cut you off! - Cut me!

I'll make it with my legs
if you cut my hands!

I'll make it with my back
if you cut my legs!

And if you cut the back then..
- Then I'll cut such a thing..

Take it easy! Take it easy!

Don't take tension
at all! I'm going!

Hey, uncle.. remember
that Kiran is my love!

Attack!

O' God!

Now, tell me.. what's your problem?

Actually, doctor.. the problem
is.. I love men.

My brother also love boys.

Look.. this is not hereditary.
- It is, doctor.

The thing is.. even
my father likes boys.

My grandfather liked boys.

Moreover even my great
grandfather liked boys.

Look, look, look..

Is there body in your house..

.. who likes girls as well?

Yes, it is.
- Very good.

Who's it?
- My sister.

One minute.

Dr. Rekha, here. - Rekha, child
this is Bhushan uncle from Mumbai.

Hello, uncle. How are you?
- Child, I badly need your help.

Sure.. tell me.

Can come to Mumbai for some days.

In fact I'm myself contemplating
of leaving Delhi for some days.

Uncle.. these days there
are such cases..

.. that I'm really fed up.

Anyways how's Kiran?

He has really forgotten me.

He has even forgotten
as to what he is!

There's a very big problem.

Kiran wants to get married.

Uncle, what's the problem in it?

Listen to me carefully, Rekha..
the problem is..

.. the person whom Kiran wants
to marry.. is a boy!

What!?

You mean.. Kiran.. being a boy..
is getting married to a boy!?

Yes, child.
- Give him my number, doctor.

Please, one minute.

What did you say, child?
- No, uncle. Not to you.

It's okay.

You please don't worry. I'll
come to as soon as possible.

You will not survive today.

Today your feet are somewhere
and hands will be somewhere.

I am very upset because of you.

I will not leave you.

Oh sorry! it was an old account

Are you Ok?
Come come..be carefull.

No..no don't come inside.

You come home for the first time,
I will bring the plate of worship.

Ok, plate of worship?

Hello, Scrweewala?

I reached here, he is
very strange person.

He is gone inside to gate
plate of worship. - I see!

Before offering a sacrifice, it is
necessary to inoculate the sacrificial

What are you saying?

He has come, I am disconnecting .

Religious Chants

Religious Chants

Religious Chants

Come in. Please come in.

This is your room.

You take rest. We'll
talk in the morning.

Good night, huh!
- Good night.

Why are you screaming?!
What if anyone hears?!

What are you doing?!

What are you doing here?!

I was here to wake you up.

This way? - Actually
when I had come earlier..

.. you were sleeping at that time.

So? - So..

.. in sleep you were.. - What?

.. looking very beautiful.

I thought while you're sleeping..

.. in the meantime I'll
get Mrs. Gaitonde's milk.

You take a bath and get fresh.

I'll prepare the tea
and breakfast meanwhile.

You go.

Mrs. Gaitonde's milk!

Shit! It's empty like
the head of that Screwwala!

Screwwala.. why did you take
out the bullets from my gun?

Don't you know how
danger this man is?

Cool down, Miss Matondkar.

There's logic behind it.

To hell with your logic.
I want bullets.

Good. Good. I think Mrs.
Screwwala has gone to bathe.

You do this way.. when she goes to
the temple.. better come to home.

We'll talk peacefully.

What are you doing there? Come here!

You bloody.. - No, you're
taking it in the wrong sense.

The thing's.. this time around Popat
(Landlord) daily stands down there.

What did you say?

Seems something's burning in
the kitchen. I'll be right back.

This 'Popat' just
stands downstairs.

Seems I've to bring
the bullets for him!

Called someone to meet?

Me? Not at all.

And, why aren't you
going to the temple today?

To seek a long union for us!

No. the priest told me
that this is my seventh life!

Fine, go and get my
balls from within.

Which one? Red? White? Or blue?

All!

The man and his three balls!

I hope see comes now.

My whole life's wasted
while handling his balls!

It's not opening!

Pull it inside! - Sorry.

Come in, come in!

She daily goes to the temple.
But didn't go today.

I want the Goliyaan
(meaning bullet)!

Goliyaan (meaning
contraceptive pills)!

There's no need of Goliyaan
(contraceptive pills);

I'm taking the precautions.

What if something goes wrong? I can't
risk without the Golis (bullets)!

There's no need of that. Dr. Screwwala
is aware of his responsibilities.

Who's she?!

She's talking about
what Goliyaan (pills)?!

Goliyaan (pills)! She's a patient.

But I cant prescribe the pills
without an examination..

.. because what happens to the brain
outside the room may not happen inside.

So it's very important that
we take the balls inside..

.. so that you
remain outside the room!

Now tell me.. what happened?

That bloody..

That rascal is very dangerous.

He was frequently talking about
the Popat (penis) with me! - I see.

Had I got the bullets then I
would have shot him in the head!

Calm down. Calm down,
Miss Matondkar. Sit down.

That's why I didn't
keep the bullets.

Now, I'll explain you the
second round of our operation.

Every minute.. and every second..

.. you'll have to pull him near you!

Oh my God. - How come? How come?!

What ho come? Yes..

This way. Your gait.

Your style. Very good.

Your sway!

Do you want water. - No.

Then you'll have to
take cool breaths!

How?

This way. This way.

Hands down.

In short.. you'll have to
transform into a beautiful flower.

The moment he
approaches you like a bee..

.. the moment he'll
force himself upon you..

.. we shall then pounce upon him!

It's just today that I
haven't worn my bangles!

I'm ruined!

The whole world is against my love!

Nobody is standing by
me other than Karan!

Let me die! Let me die!

Kiran, what are you doing? -
Let me die! Let me die, sister!

Kiran, what are you up to?!

Nobody is with me other
than Karan! - I'm with you!

What?!

You said him that?!

I had to, uncle.

Thinking that all are against him..

I dread he might
do something untoward..

.. so at first I want
to win his trust..

.. and then I would want
to make him understand.

Uncle, you give me that
boy's name, number and address.

Hello. - Hello.

The same crook!

Calm down. Relax, uncle. Give me.

Hello. - Hello, Kiran..

No, I'm not Kiran but
Kiran's sister Rekha.

Elder sis! Elder sis..
can I talk to Kiran?

It's very important
for me to meet her.

You can't. Because
before that you've to meet me.

You!?

It seems I've to lure the elder sis
and become Kiran's brother in law.

Fine, then.. come at Juhu
Barista at 4 in the evening.

Why did you call me so urgently?
What happened?

Do you know.. a big
problem has arisen! - What?

The girl who's staying with me..

..suddenly something
has happened to her. - What.

She's..

..she roams skimpily clad.

How does she look like? -
It's not like that, man!

She doesn't let me
breathe for even a second!

What does she do exactly?

What happened? - Where's your skirt?

Skirt? I've washed it.

Actually the thing is..

.. l'm used to my earlier job..
I used to keep washing..

..but ever since I've come here
I'm not getting anything to wash.

Even you're not giving me chance!

What? - You..

Let's go somewhere.

It's very hot in here.

And within.. - Nothing..

Wearing nothing, man!

Oh, man! Then? - Then..

Then she starts reading a book.
Sits right in front of me.

Rarely opens the book..
more of opens herself!

Then she tells me.. 'I really
like books without a cover.'

How nice.

And, then suddenly when
I'm seated on the sofa..

See, this watch is damaged.
It often gets slow.

Its two hours slow.

If this keeps happening..
then you'll be left behind..

.. and the world shall move ahead.

And when I was
setting out to come here..

Should I tell you some thing? - Huh?

I've some hot.. very hot..

.. l've brought
some hot tea for you.

Will you? - Yeah.

Careful. Don't spill it.

What-what are you doing?!

I'm cleaning it.

I'll get it washed!

That's my job, isn't it?

But.. 'I'll wipe it all.'

Then.. then what happened?

What else?

After all I'm a human. - Yes right.

Tell me.. what could I've done?

Control yourself! - What.

I mean Control yourself!

How long should I control, man?

Was she not the
girl with the spot..

.. then I would have.. -
What would you've done?

I would have thrown her out!

Just don't know why
is she doing that.

She's testing you.

Testing me? - Yes.

She thinks you're some flirt..

.. who tries to swoon every girl.

But, you'll have to tell her..

.. that you're not a flirt
but a die-hard lover! - Yes.

Don't see the fire that
she's trying to show you! - Yes!

Maintain your dignity!

Dignity! - Dignity!

But how?

Ignore her! Take
her out of your mind!

Think of something else! - Yes.

Yes! - Okay, I'll make a move.

Kiran's sister..
I've to meet her.

Okay? Bye! - Dignity!

Listen.. - What?

You too don't forget it. - What?
- Kiran's sister.. dignity!

Dignity! - Dignity!

Dignity!

'The girls these days.. do
they come here for coffee..

.. or do they come here
for a public display? '

Excuse me..

Rekha, you!? - Karan! You!?

Rekha.. - Yes?

That..

Should I tell you something?

Yes, tell me.

Would you like to
become my time-pass?

Okay. Will you eat something or..

The coffee will be fine.

Here. Café cool Laffe.
Your favourite.. right?

Yeah. But how did you know?

Because it's my favourite as well.

And, the likes of
lovers are always the same.

Meaning? - I used to love you a lot.

That very slap changed me.

I never knew that a slap of mine
will change you so much, Karan.

Me too. - But, what was the reason
that you fell in love with Kiran?

You could have found any girl?

But I want only Kiran.

Because Kiran is my first..
I mean.. my second..

.. and the last love. That's it.

The one who has an affair with every
other girl.. is talking this way?!

What if Kiran comes
to know about it?

You won't tell
anything to Kiran! Please!

I make you beg! I mean I beg to you!

I myself used to spread
the rumours of my affairs.

But the truth is.. no
girl has ever touched.

Imean except for.. but please
don't tell anything to Kiran.

Please. Please, Rekha. - It's okay.

I beg to you. I plead to you, Rekha!
- It's okay, Karan. Karan, it's okay!

It's okay.

Are you telling the truth?
- I swear by Kiran.

And if you tell all that to Kiran..

.. then I'll eat
this poison.. and die.

Karan.. that's sugar.

I've heavy diabetes.

Excuse me. Hello.

What a performance, man!

Hey, Karan! - Rocky!
After so many years!

Great to see you, man! -
Great to see you too, man!

Yes, uncle, I know this boy.
He was a normal guy.

He wasn't at all like this.

Maybe..
these everything is possible.

But you don't worry, uncle.

I'll have to seek the help of my guru
Dr. Screwwala to solve this case.

Cool down. Cool down. Calm down.

I promise you from
today on no lady patient..

.. will come to Dr.
Screwwala for pills.

And if any come.. then
I'll shoot them! - So be it.

Yes? - Can I see Dr. Screwwala?

He has stopped seeing lady patients.

Madam, look.. I'm not his
patient but his student. - Student?

I barred the patients.. and now the
students have started pouring in!

Bloody hell student.. that
man must have sent her here!

Your one slap changed
his life.. yes or no?

Yes, sir. - Good.

The boy who used
to chase the girls..

.. these days he's chasing boys!

That means he's still
in search for true love.

Now, the very hands that
you slapped him with..

.. should be used to
attract him towards you!

Sir.. I couldn't get you.

Sir.

Come.. I'll tell you.

It's a simple case of..
what is that word?

Psychotic Role Reversal?
- Exactly! Same thing.

For example.. 30 years
back my wife Parvati..

.. looked exactly like you.

The same beauty.. and
the same tenderness.

So, it's natural for me..

.. that I don't
care for the world..

.. and pull you in my arms.

Because today I'm seeing
the same Parvati in you.

Just imagine.. if today.. Parvati..
the way she looked 30 years back..

.. comes and stands
right before me..

.. then she can easily get me!
Understood? - Understood!

Parvati.. Parvati..
you'll have to do something!

You'll have to turn this waist slim
in order to bring back your husband!

He wants the Parvati
that was 30 years back!

C'mon, Parvati! Do it! Do it!

Rahul!

Rahul! What are you looking at?

How do I look like? - Beautiful!

But, there's one problem..

.. what if someone
mistakenly touches my back?

I'll be right back.

Rahul.. just come in!

Maintain your dignity!

No, no, no!

'O' God! O my God! '

'Ward off the troubles
of your devotees! '

Rekha.. you..

Yes me!

It seems today.. you've
quite unchained thoughts.

Yes.. that's to
open your closed eyes.

'Bungalow!

'Car! '

No, Rekha.. I can't come to you.

Why? What do I lack?

You don't have the thing..
that Kiran has.

'Now.. I must be telling him..
as to what do I have! '

Okay, Urmila, I see.. I see..

You've to take him there.

And, you've to become
fodder for that steed..

.. so that he has not
other option.. the poor chap.

Doctor! - The mare's here!

My balls! Where are they?

Your balls are in my hand! - Really?

It's been cast..

My spell has been cast.

It's happened..

Something has happened to me.

Wake up!

O' sleeping, beloved.

Look here..

What a feel is this!

Never shall such nights come;
never shall a situation might arise!

Never shall such nights come;
never shall a situation might arise!

Try understanding my restiveness.

It's been cast..

My spell has been cast.

The pain is whispering to breaths.

The lips have a vibrant colour.

Touch me..

My heart's stirring within.

The tresses are fragrance
and the body is sandal.

Touch me..

The movement is straying
and the solitude is arid.

The movement is straying
and the solitude is arid.

Try understanding my restiveness.

It's been cast..

My spell has been cast.

How should I tell you my plight?

I dread dying in this restiveness.

What should I do?

Why do you make me
suffer in such an ambience?

And, why do you
hesitate in inching closer?

What should I do?

This is aloofness is no
good; it's necessary to unite.

This is aloofness is no
good; it's necessary to unite.

Try understanding my restiveness.

It's been cast..

It's been cast..

It's been cast..

What happened? - Doctor..

.. now I'm even I'm
suspecting on my being a woman!

Men don't spare a woman..
be it 16 or 60.

He doesn't even touch me! - Stupid.

Doctor, I can't do
anything more than this!

Your operation 'Fail'..
will fail because of me!

On the contrary it's fascinating.

This boy is smarter than I thought.

But he didn't do anything.

You know.. what this phenomenon of
doing nothing is called by us doctors?

Pre-convulsive Psychotic Apathy.

If we term that in common terminology
then it's the calm before the storm!

Officer, our mission has
arrived at a very dangerous point!

Now, if I touch him..
if I feel him once..

.. then I can give you the exact
date, exact day, and the exact time..

.. as to when's the
volcano going to explode!

I'll have to check for some
irregularities in the frontal lobe.

Blood pressure, RNA, DNA, Occular
- Dylasion, height, weight, reflexes..

One minute.

We can't waste even a minute!

lt's very important
for me to meet him.

You do one thing..
you tell him that I..

.. what am I to you..

I'm yours..

Uncle! Uncle will be fine!

Uncle? Okay.

Okay, I'm your uncle.

And by profession I'm a tailor.

Tailor? - Yeah, a tailor.

And I want to sew a suit for him.

Suit.. - Logic! Make use of logic!

If he gets to know
that I'm a doctor..

.. then I won't get to know
the thing that is important..

.. for me to get to know!

How's the tea?

Rahul.. my uncle's
coming in the evening.

Uncle! For what?

To see you. - To see me!?

Actually.. he wants
to sew a suit for you.

Saved the money for the
wedding suit! - What did you say?

No.. just tell me..
what am I supposed to do?

Nothing. Uncle will
ask you some questions..

.. just for the sake of formality.
- No problem.

As it is I'm born for formalities.

Rahul.. just take it as
if its your trial by fire.

Trial by fire!?

And, if you pass
this out, then.. - Then?

Then.. - Then shall we move?

Your uncle is coming, isn't it?

So we'll have to get
vegetables etc for him, isn't it?

We've to. - So.. better get ready.

Yes.

How did you find
the tea? - Very good.

It's just that.. you don't
cook the supper. Please.

I search for him
daily in the morning!

Hey!

Firstly, get this window repaired. -
Forget that. Popat's standing down.

What?! - Oh, yeah. I
forgot to tell you.

There's this Popat, a laundryman..

.. from whom we took a
suit and couldn't return.

And, he stands daily
downstairs for the recovery!

That day you were talking
about this Popat? - Yeah!

You might have thought of
that green one..

.. that flies (Popat -Parrot),
isn't it?

Yeah. - You're really..

C'mon, let's go from that main gate.
- But, if anyone gets us there?

None will get us there.C'mon.

Yes, sir?

You don't get Star Plus.

I'll check it right away.

It just pisses me off!

Look, he has finally
got his mate. - Hi.

When did you get married?

Five days ago. - The
couple's so cute, isn't it?

Planning for kids? - Yeah..
good if that happens.

How will it happen with no effort?
Tell me if you need some help..

.. l'm ever ready. - What?!

You'll help him?! - Yes!

It's been thirty years and
you couldn't give me a son..

.. what the hell will you help him?!

You keep quiet.

Enjoy yourselves, kids. Enjoy.

God bless you! Bye. - Bye.

I was advising those kids.

The old man is quite amorous.

'She has had so many
drinks on my money.. '

'.. and I'm getting
to bear the loss.'

I'm losing my cool, Rekha.

Why hasn't Kiran come yet?

I told you earlier that I'm
not interested in meeting you!

Look, Karan, don't get angry.
Why don't you understand?

Kiran's exit from the house.. is not
only difficult but it's impossible.

Fine, then I'll go to her house.

Karan, listen to me.. - I
don't want to listen to you!

But, will you listen to Kiran?

Kiran.. - Yeah.

Kiran has sent a
message for you. - Message.

If you take me as your mate..

..then I'll stand by you for
your whole life. - Really?

I swear by you.

Did Kiran say all this?

Yeah.. she said.

For a moment I thought..
that you're expressing yourself.

If that's true..
will you forget Kiran?

Of course.. not.

I've got only reason to live..
and that is Kiran.

Tell me.. did Kiran
really say all that?

Yeah.

If I give you something..
will you pass it on to Kiran?

Of course.

You.. kissed me?

This is for Kiran.

Can you pass it on to her for me?

God bless you.

'I deemed the one as the
symbol of unfaithfulness.. '

'.. has crossed all the
barriers in proving his love.. '

'I'll have to anyhow get
him back. I love you, Karan.'

What a boot, man! - The
headlight's great as well!

And, the bonnet is great as well! -
It will be quite great in driving it.

Boss.. can we have her for a while?

You bloody.. - Hold it. Hold this.
Hold this for a minute.

What did you say?! -
Only for test drive, man!

Got the license?! -
Who the hell are you?!

RTO officer!

RTO officer? - Yes.

Not bad.. hah!

Look, whatever you're doing..
is not the right thing.

I'm still telling you.. go back..
there's quite a lot danger inside.

The danger's to my matrimony.

You said downstairs that you've to
go to 205. And here you come at 506?

That's because the
killer comes here discreetly.

Does he come discreetly or
is it you who come discreetly?

O God! - If I get to hear the
wailings of some child then I..

Hey, where are you?
- She is my wife.

Hello.

I never knew that you're coming.

Come in.. uncle..

'Since I'm along so
she's calling uncle! '

Where's he? - Inside the kitchen.

'The one who came as the
student is inside the kitchen! '

You're searching for something?
- Toilet.

Take a left from ahead.

I'll go myself.

Hey!

Hey! Where did they go?!

Was he telling the truth? Listen!

With such a big knife.. he..

Calm down. Calm down.
Didn't I tell you its dangerous?

Forgive me. I mistrusted you.

Okay, okay, it's okay.
Eat these pills till then.

Meantime, I'll finish
my job and come. Okay?

She needlessly got scared.

And you know that kitchens door..
- I know. I know everything.

it's going to be alright.
it's going to be alright.

I'm sorry, sir.. - Nothing
to worry. I've given her the pills.

I'm doctor.. - Tailor.

Tailor, Tailor Screwwala.

I'm Rahul.

Nice to meet you,
sir. - Nice to meet you.

Sorry, for the late.

In fact to be precise..
because of that traffic..

.. 28, 27, 29.. and.. and the
pollution was so much that..

.. open your mouth,
child. Say Aaah! - Aaah!

Take deep breath!

There's so much air in the
kidneys that.. Oh my God..

Uncle let's sit over there.
- One minute..

Hope not having fever? - Let's go.

No.

It's okay.- So much of preparations?

Isn't your uncle
very much like mine?

Who put off that light?! - Sorry..
actually it's the fuse problem.

I'll be right back. -
Where are you going?!

The breaths too heavy. The
heart's beating like a jackhammer.

The eyes are bloodshot. - Your.

His.

His has made the
first attack! - On whom?

On my wife!

Sir, actually he
fumbled on the stopper..

Just see how much he fumbles ahead!

Yeah. Yeah.

Oh! Aah!

Are you alright?

Seem she isn't?

Actually, I simply have tea..

I know! I know.. that
too made of special milk!

But.. how did you know? - Logic.

Urmila, you just..

Okay.. pick a ball from these.

Pick up. Pick up.

Why did you pick the red one?

It was nearer.. that's why.

Oh! So he picks
anything that is near.

Uncle.. why have you
brought these balls?

For the suit! - For the suit!?

Because I'm no ordinary tailor.

I don't measure people,
rather I feel them.

C'mon! Great!

Stand here! Raise your hands!

One.. one minute! Almost 57!

Bend down! Keep bending! 37!

Enough! Pull it up!
Pull the leg up! Good!

More upwards.

Kid, I told you to look upwards.

Look upwards.

Now.. now the shirt details.

And now.. the sleeves' details.
Look up. Don't move.

Oh!
- For the colour details.

And..
Thank you..

And, now.. it's the pant's turn!

Rahul.. Iook inside.. something's
burning in the kitchen.

Hey!

Hey! This detail was
very necessary, brother!

Huh! Nothing's burning in here!

Maybe in that room.. - Hold it.

But, if someone sees
the smoke.. - Stop.

But.. - Stop!

Nothing's burning anywhere.

But you said that..

It was just like that.

Actually,
uncle was a bit too much..

Yeah, I felt the same way.

But, after all he's
your uncle, isn't it?

And you said about
that trial by fire..

Did it hurt too much?
- No, nothing happened.

I'll apply
something right away. Okay?

Take are of uncle.

He has come here for the
first time. Okay? - Hmm.

O my God! Molestation of Draupadi
(A character from Mahabharata)!

What are you doing here?

What is this portrait doing in here?

It's just there.

Why will any person keep
the portrait of Draupadi's..

.. molestation in his closet?

Why? - Logic.
There's logic behind it.

And the day when the results
of all these tests come out..

.. you shall get to know that
logic as well.. and trust me..

.. the results are
going to be shocking!

Ma'am.. are you going somewhere?

Where am I going? I'm going nowhere!
Where was I going?!

Yeah! Yeah! Fresh! To feel fresh!

Yeah. Okay, okay.

But, ma'am.. I was about
to tell you the same, ma'am.

Let go! Let go! Let go! - ma'am.

Ma'am, listen to me! Listen
to me, ma'am! - Let me go!

I'm coming! - Let go!

Urmila! The window! The window!

Sir, that window.. - That is
my wife and not the window!

Let go my wife! Leave my wife
at least! Leave my wife, please!

She's my wife! Don't do that to her!

Let her go! Let her go!

Wife! Wife! You've survived!

I know it.. - No! the window!
Problem! That Popat!

I know.. I know it! Keep in..
keep in touch! Okay?

I failed.

But you passed for me.

But won't they take me wrongly?

Whatever they might think..
it makes no difference to me.

But it makes to me.
I cannot lose you.

Why? - Because..

Because.. because you're the
girl who shall change my destiny.

This thing.. who told you this?

My..

Your heart?

No.

My astrologer.

What!? - Yeah.

An astrologer told me that a
girl shall enter in my life..

.. who shall change my destiny..

.. and there shall be
a dot on her heart.

Meaning.. you kept me in this
house only because of this dot?!

No!

Then?!

Because of the heart.

The temptation..

Yeah.. the temptation..

The temptation..

Yes, my temptation..

You turned sixteen;
and my heart went barmy.

You turned sixteen; and
my heart went berserk.

The eyes of sixteen..
and the chat of sixteen..

Rather you've not turned sixteen;
but you've turned into a spark!

I turned sixteen; and
your heart went barmy.

I turned sixteen; and
your heart went berserk.

The eyes of sixteen..
and the chat of sixteen..

Rather I've not turned sixteen;
but I've turned into a spark!

I turned sixteen; and
your heart went barmy.

Temptation.. my temptation..

Temptation.. your temptation..

Temptation.. my temptation..

Temptation.. my temptation..

From here.. and from there..

Wherever I see from..

You look deadly from everywhere.

From here.. and from there..

Should I say what.. and from where?

There's some yearn rising in me.

Is it your body or
is it some spell?

Since I'm unable to control myself.

You're crazy about my tresses.

And, you've got the
temptation of my fragrance.

I turned sixteen; and
your heart went barmy.

You turned sixteen; and
my heart went berserk.

The eyes of sixteen..
and the chat of sixteen..

Rather you've not turned sixteen;
but you've turned into a spark!

You turned sixteen; and
my heart went berserk.

I turned sixteen; and
your heart went barmy.

Temptation.. my temptation..

Temptation.. my temptation..

Temptation..

Yeah.. the temptation..

No! You're telling a lie!

I'm telling the truth, Kiran!
He proposed me!

Five years earlier he
was just a normal guy!

But today he loves me! Just me!

No, Kiran!
Why don't you understand?!

Had he got true love for you..
then why didn't he come to meet you?

He did come! But my
mom-dad didn't let me meet him!

Mom-dad! True lovers
never care for the mom-dad!

They break the
doors-windows and enter in!

Karan! Karan's letter!

'My love.. My darling! '

'Thank you. Tonight,
I'll restively wait for you..

.. at Disco 82. Will you come? '

Yeah! - 'I knew it.'

'But, if you don't come
then I would consider..

.. that you don't love me! ' - No!

'And yes.. I hope you
might have got all my kisses.. '

'.. that I conveyed through..
I mean through..'

'..the cheeks of Rekha.' - Kisses.

Wait, wait for a minute..
- So, this was your move?!

Kiran, you don't understand.

You snatching me while provoking
me against my own love?!

No, no! Kiran, just listen to me..
- I doubted you since beginning.

What are you doing? - Get away!

Hello! Sister Urmila,
I'm Kiran here!

Please come fast!

My own sister has
become my adversary in love!

'Urmila! ' - Okay,
sis! Please come fast!

Kiran! Kiran!

Kiran!

C'mon, dear.. sit in the car.
Today I'll get you married!

Who the hell are you
to get me married?!

Are you mad? You yourself called
me and you're asking 'Who am I? '

I called you!? -
You're Kiran, isn't it?

No! I'm Kiran's sister Rekha!

Aren't you ashamed?!
Snatching your own sister's love?!

Which sister?! What sister?! -
Kiran! Didn't you yourself tell..

.. that you're Kiran's sister?!

I'm Kiran's sister. But,
Kiran isn't my sister!

You're her sister! But
she isn't your sister?!

Exactly! Kiran is not my sister!

Are you drunk or what?!

You're her sister and
she isn't your sister!

How can Kiran be my sister?!

He's my brother!

So, he's your bro..

And, this is the reality of
that Karan. I hope you got it all?

Yes, yes!

Inspector, if you're able to stop
Karan from coming to the disco..

.. then the job ahead
will be easy for me.

Don't worry. He won't
talk about Kiran hereafter.

You're my Kiran!

Your gaze is a spell..

Shit!

Yuck!

He wears so filthy clothes!

Fine. This is okay.

Hey, dude! You're back!

You spent so much on the bungalow..
but why not on the clothes?

You've entered my house and
my bathroom and my clothes!

What's the anger about? Boss, I've
done such a thing for you that..

.. let alone the clothes you'll
transfer your house in my name.

What thing?

I've taken Kiran
forever away from your life.

What are you talking about?!

Boss.. you said yourself that
you wanted to get rid of Kiran..

.. hence I got you the riddance..

.. and I embarked
on her track myself.

How can that be possible?
- It is, Boss.

In the next few days we're
supposed to get married..

.. and I'll send you
the invitation for it.

Don't do that!

You know.. I went to America
and I realised that..

.. I can't live without Kiran.

Then you'll have to die. - Shut up!

What do you mean! If you even
touch Kiran then I'll kill you!

You piece of marble.. are you
playing catch-catch (Game)..

.. throwing at times
and catching at some?!

Just put it in mind.. Kiran
is mine! And that's final!

You don't know my influence!

I've a car, a bungalow and
I've big goons in my pocket!

What's there with you?!
- I've got a MU.

What's that?!

Mumbai Police. - Mumbai Police!?

Mumbai police! - The damn got
scared at the mention of police!

Put a bullet in the head!

Madam, you..
In fact I was coming to you.

There's a big problem.

And, I badly need your help.

That's why I've come here.
- How sweet!

O' God!

I won't go! I won't go!

What are you saying, Dr. Screwwala?

Have you noticed that since
Inspector Urmila Matondkar..

.. is living with him, has
any girl been a target of his?

That proves my point. That
we are after the right man.

I will still say that
Rahul cannot be the murderer.

Can you explain this to my wife?

I had told you at that time that..
that was an accident. - Accident?

Yes.

That picture that was found in
his room was that an accident too?

Picture?

Yes commissioner. The picture of the
'Vastraharan' (rape) of Draupadi.

Since the last two days.. since the
last two days I am doing a research..

.. that what can be the connection
of the picture and our murderer.

And today I have
found that connection.

And that connection is..
that connection is.. this sari.

Sari? Draupadi's? - No
from Dadar Emporium.

Inspector, you will have to
wear this sari and..

.. go in front of
that murderer. - What?

And as soon as he sees you
in this sari, the 'Dushashan'..

.. (evil) inside him will come out.

Brilliant!

Brilliant!

No! I cannot do this!

I am absolutely
certain that he is innocent.

Officer! It's an order.

I refuse to listen
to this order, sir.

You can take
whatever action you want.

And about his logic..

.. then sir have you
noticed one thing?

Since the day we
have appointed him..

.. till date no girl has been raped.

Think about it.

Hold on! Hold on
Inspector Urmila Matondkar.

Remember one thing.

With a personality
like Dr. Screwwala..

.. I don't have to rape any woman.
Remember that, okay.

And as far as you are concerned,
chose any of the balls.

I knew it, I knew it,
commissioner! She is in love.

Get lost! - Oh! My balls! My balls!

First that DK and then that Karan..

.. both of them made promises of
love to me, and then broke them.

After all what do they think of me?

Hey, my love, there is no
bargaining in love. - DK!

Kiran! - You here?

Wherever you will be,
I will be there.

Kiran! Come back to my life, Kiran!

Do you promise that you
will never do that again?

Yes.

I promise. - You will
never leave me and go.

I will never go, darling. In
fact we both will go to America.

We will have a small
cottage in America.

There will be a small
garden outside the cottage.

In that garden, after a few years..

.. we will have 2-3 small, lovely..

What? - Mango trees will be there.

Naughty boy! Really? - Really.

But how will we go? Below my father
is roaming about with a naked sword.

That too.. which is rusted!

I don't care about the
rusted sword of your father's.

Who is there.

Where's my rusted sword.

It is nobody, daddy.

So I will come tonight at 2
o'clock to take you. Be ready.

You must surely come, I
will be waiting for you.

Commissioner sir, I know,
that boy is..

I will call you later.

Rahul!

How come you have come so early?

I should be asking you this.
Didn't you go to look for a job?

Yes.. I got one.. - Really?

There was an old job
which I had left in between..

.. I joined that again.

Great news! Urmila!

A gift for you on this occasion.

Gift? - I have designed it myself,
specially for you.

What is there in this? - Why
don't you see for yourself?

Yes, but give it to me atleast.

Yes, I am sorry.

Sari.

'You will have to wear this sari
and go in front of that murderer.'

'And as soon as he
sees you in this sari..

.. the 'Dushashan' (evil)
inside him will come out.'

'What if Screwwala was right?
What should I do? '

What are you thinking?

Should I tell you the truth? - Yes.

I.. I want to do
something with you.

What?

I want to keep you in a temple
and worship you all my life.

I am sorry Rahul.

Forgive me. - Forgive you?

But why?

Because I have to go from here.

You are going?

Have I done something
wrong with you?

You have not done
anything wrong with me.

That's why I have to go.
- But what is the reason?

I had thought that you..

Urmila! Urmila!

I do not know the
reason why you are going.

But I know for sure that
you will surely return.

And no priest has told me this,
but my heart said it to me.

It has said the truth, isn't it?

Yes.

'She has changed her
guise and reached my home.'

'She will never
let me live happily.'

Rahul! - Karan, you?

Why are looking so worried?

My love is being snatched
away from me, my friend.

That rascal DK has played
a very big game. - What?

First of all he has put
the police behind me and..

.. secondly Kiran is
not taking my call.

Then you go over to
her house! - How can I go?

For one her father is
there with a rusted sword..

I don't know what to do?

I have an idea.

Useless people, I
don't know where they are.

Who are you people?

You had said that
they should not be caught!

This man has not
been caught till today.

But I had told for 5 people,
you all are only four.

The last one has
diabetes problem. - Okay.

Do you know what you
have to do? - What?

You have to only bring
Kiran to me. - Okay.

If anyone comes in your way,
then put him to sleep.

Okay! Okay!

Here's your money. Now move go.

Hey listen,
looks like a big catch..

.. pick the girl and
take her to our den.

We will DK the remains.
- Okay! Okay!

Aunty! Aunty!

Leave me! - Leave her!

Who are you people? - Leave her.

What are you doing? - Shanti!
Let go of Shanti.

Help! - Why don't you listen to me?

Go and get the girl. - No.

Help!

Hey Bush! What are you doing?

Sir, in the bush..

Okay, go and help Osama.
In the bush..

Oh God! Who are you?

Hey Double B, go and see upstairs,
what is happening? - Yes. Yes.

Hey Kiran! Kiran!

Where are you taking Kiran?
Leave her.

Let Kiran go. - Leave her.

Hey wait! Where is the other one?
- Where are you taking Kiran?

He is upstairs, he is
packing the clothes.

Hey Bush, you are also
in league with Osama!

No! No! - Where are you taking her?

Let her go!

Let her go! Stop!

Someone stop them! Stop them!

Quickly! Quickly! Well done, Bush.
- Thank you DK.

DK?

Rahul!

Yes, Rahul.

And I will never you write
your name on this design. - Means.

Means that her marriage
is taking place with..

.. my dress in the Kali Temple.

Kali temple? - If you have
the guts, stop us and show.

What do you mean? - Take.

I will kill you all.
Where are you running away?

I will catch you all.

I will cut you all into pieces.
I will kill you all.

Aunty, control yourself,
everything will be alright.

Look, I know where they
have taken Kiran. - You?

You come with me in the car,
I will tell you everything.

Come, come with me,
let's not waste time.

What had you said? When I
wear the sari. - Yes.

He will pounce on me. - Yes.

I have worn the sari. - Yes.

Do you know what he said? - No.

That he will take
me to the temple. - Oh!

And worship me. - Wow!

Logic, Mr. Commissioner,
there is a logic behind this too.

I'm sure he is a..
is a religious killer.

You are my mother, father.. murder.

You scoundrel! You get him
treated from a good doctor.

It's enough.

Sir. - Yes, tell me constable.

And..

Okay.

Block the roads all over.
And keep me informed.

Okay.

One more murder has taken place.

Near the temple.

And this time that
lady had worn a sari.

Sorry. - But sir..

Now what do you have
to say, inspector Urmila Matondkar?

You were challenging Dr. Screwwala's
theories, his knowledge..

Did you see?

All this has happened
because of you.

If you were with him for
some more time, wearing a sari..

.. then his attack would not
have been on a helpless woman..

.. but on a trained police officer.

Now you tell me, do I
need treatment or you?

But sir, this does not mean that..
- Enough.

Urmila, there is
no need to argue anymore.

Take the police unit immediately
and keep an eye on that building.

Come on. Come on. Let it go.
Come on. Hurry up!

Oh God! - It is fine.
It is fine. Let it go.

It seems that DK has great contacts.

But DK, your wall might be
build of Ambuja cement also..

.. today, I will definitely break
it. I will definitely break it.

Hey! Hey! Get hold of him!
Don't let him escape.

Hurry up! Sit in the car.
Follow him. Come on.

Follow that scum. Hey! Hey!
Don't shoot. I will be killed.

These police officers are killing
another police officer..

.. in an encounter.
Hey! Come on, be quick.

Get down and run! Sir,
the jeep is not starting.

These people give us
such degraded vehicles..

.. and then they question us only..

.. that why do the police officers
often come late in the climax?

'How come it's become so late? '

'The sun has already risen
and he has not yet come.'

Sir, I am telling you right now
I don't know how to do marriages.

I am an expert in carrying
out the final rites. - Hey!

There is not much difference
between the two. Understood?

You quietly go ahead and read it.

You took the garland from that
corpse. That's not a good thing.

Hey, priest! I will slap you.
You will be a dead man!

Do as I say!

No. No. No.

Karan! - A ghost has arrived.
Let's go.

That is not a ghost.
It is my love. Sit down.

Read the chants. Rahul! You have
gift wrapped her and brought! Nice!

Sister-in-law had fallen down.
She had fainted. - What?

Let all that be. You hurry up!
DK is coming behind us.

DK! Okay, come let's take the
sacred rounds. You come. You come.

Who will fulfill the last rites? -
Last rites!

Giving away! Giving away!

He will only do the giving
away ceremony. You continue.

Read quickly.

What nonsense is he saying?

He is gone crazy. -
What is happening?

We have arrived on time.

Karan! Karan! Wait! All
this is wrong. Please wait!

Nothing is wrong.

If anyone will come between
Kiran and me I will kill them.

Even I will kill everyone.

I am an expert in doing
the final rites.

We will cremate them
together. - Shut up!

Hand over Kiran to me!

Over to you.
- Yes. Kiran is my first love.

Get lost! Kiran is my love.

Hey! What is happening? You
had said you were Kiran's friend.

Yes. I am her friend too.
Hand over Kiran to me.

Now say what you want to say.

Karan, now you get married
to her in front of him only.

No. no, Karan. - Look, today don't
come between us. Let go of my hand.

Karan, don't do time pass.
Just put the vermilion on..

.. her forehead. - Today,
Kiran will be mine.

Karan, what is this you are doing?
- Kiran!

When I saw you, when
I got friendly to you.

Get up! - Hey! Whom have you brought?
You were getting me married to him!

Idiot! Kiran!

Sister-in-law! Sister-in-law!
- Kiran! Kiran!

Shall I do the final rites?
- Shut up!

Kiran, thank God that
you have come. Wow!

You have also brought the
garland for our marriage.

Come on, let's go and get married.
- Married! Whose marriage?

Our wedding. - We have
been married two hours ago.

We have only come to take blessings.
- What sort of blessings? Leave her.

Run away! -Come on. I had
brought someone else in your place.

Good you come. Come on. Come on.

Sister-in-law? Who is Sister-in-law?

Whose Sister-in-law?
- His Sister-in-law.

Come on, let's go and get married.

Nobody will come in
my way. Understood!

I will take Kiran
to America. - Kiran!

What are you doing? Leave my hand.

Karan, save Kiran! - I
am saving Kiran only.

Hey! Kiran is there.
- Hey! Kiran is here.

Hey! I am not Kiran.
I am Naina. - Naina?

Oh gosh! Karan, that
one is Kiran, my brother!

I know Kiran is your..

Kiran is your brother?

Yes.

That means.. - Come on, Naina.
Come on, quickly.

All those messages?

I had sent all those
messages and those kisses too.

You did not know that
Kiran was a boy, isn't it?

Then with whom did you
do all that? - What?

One wild.. One night stand.

What? - Shall I tell her?

Because of you, I
kidnapped a boy today..

.. if my girlfriend comes to know?

Now who is this my girlfriend.

My would-be sister-in-law.

By the way, you have checked
everything else, isn't it?

I am not like you to
take such a big risk.

With open eyes, when I
asked for someone's heart..

.. then I got a slap on my cheek.

And all this is because of you.

If in college, you had not
spread the stories of your..

.. one night stand then you wouldn't
have got a slap on your cheek.

Can I say something
to you? - Go ahead.

Will you be my time pass?

What?

For a lifetime.

Sex. I mean yes.

So tell me, where should I
leave you? - Leave me to destiny.

Greetings! We have just got news
from the police headquarters that..

.. after raping the women
and killing them ruthlessly..

.. that serial killer
has been identified.

This is the brutal murderer.

If you have any
information about him..

.. then do not forget to
inform the police headquarters.

Hello. Who is speaking?

Uma Shankar Tripathi.

Two rupees for a stone.
Two rupees for a stone.

Hey, stone vendor.
Take these two rupees.

And give me a big stone.
Just watch my aim.

Oh! Commissioner, just see.

He is not fond of only
collecting the body parts of woman.

But he collects their clothes too.

There must be surely logic
behind this. - There is.

This is my bag.

Oh! I am sorry.

Fix the camera in the front.
Cover from here.

Brother, what is going on? Is
shooting going on over here?

I don't know. Everybody is
looking up. So even I am looking up.

It's a bank holiday,
brother. So even you look up.

Brother, that rascal
who ahs killed five people..

.. stays over here only. - What?

Yes. - It must be
surely the landlord.

Two rupees for a stone. Two rupees
for a stone. - Give me one too.

Give me one.

Give me one too.
- Its very good stone.

The head will surely
break. Take it quickly.

Give me exact change.

Okay, I am coming. I
am giving it to you all.

He is the murderer. - Who?

He is the murderer!

Who is the murderer! He
is the murderer! - Me!

I have not done anything.
What have I done?

I am innocent. What
are you all saying?

I have not done anything.

He is the murderer. -
What are you all saying?

Catch him! He is the murderer!

Run..Run..

Run..Run..

Battery. - Engine.

Battery. - Engine.

Battery. - Engine.

Battery.

Rickshaw!

Where has he gone?
Where has he gone?

Hey! He is there. Catch him.

Hey! He is there.

Run..Run..

Stop! Stop! Stop!
Please. Please stop.

I am in trouble. Waiting to pee.

What? How is this possible?

Even I don't understand anything.

Run..Run..

Rahul. Rahul, come quickly.
Sit in the car.

Come on Sawant! Quickly. The
police will get hold of us.

What happened?

What happened?

All the petrol is exhausted.
- You idiot!

If I will know anything then I'll let
you know, right? I myself am worried.

Urmila? In an inspector's uniform?

Do you know her?

She is the one who is going to
be your future sister-in-law.

What? - What?

Madam. - Yes.

Come on. Come outside.

Urmila, this..

Say inspector Matondkar.
- What is this?

Sit down in the jeep.
Don't talk too much. Come.

Come. Come on. Go and sit behind.

Wait! Wait!

Wait! Wait! Madam, I am
left behind. Take me along.

Wait! Wait!

Wait! Wait!

What?

Urmila has taken him?
Good. Very good.

And you as always
come back empty handed.

Mr. Commissioner, what are
you doing sir? - hold on.

Think about the logic, sir.

She is arrested in his love.

In stead of the police station, she
will take him to the railway station..

.. and from there,
they will both escape.

The train will run
on all my efforts.

Constable. - Yes.

Follow Urmila. Run!

Okay sir.

Take care of this.
It's a left hand drive.

Hold it like this. - Stop. Stop.

But Urmila, I have not done
any rape or I have.. - I know.

That's why I have come
to take you from here.

We will have to escape from here.

But when we have not done anything
wrong then why should we escape?

Because everybody is
suspicious about you.

Once we find the true culprit.

Listen commissioner, you
either trust Screwwala..

.. or you don't trust Screwwala.
- Screw..

This Uma Shankar
Tripathi is his own man.

And he is trying to misguide us.

But Dr. Screwwala for once.. - Sir.

Salutations!

Salutations!

Uma Shankar! He
had called, isn't it?

You all are retired.
You all don't remember.

You had said you know about
the killer. - Yes, I know.

What.

I will not tell you like that.

Then how will you tell us?

Look, this is very hot news.

And I wish at such a time
all the hot media people..

.. and the hot channel people..

.. all the hot radio channel people,
all the hot press people.

All the people should be present.

Everyone has been called.
- That everyone has come.

Yes. Now will you tell us what
do you know about the murderer?

He used to live in a small village.

One day his father said
an ordinary man's name..

.. can be popular only in two ways.

One is on the wedding card
with the father's name..

.. and the second is after he
dies in the prayer meeting.

That's it! Then he decided that
he will make himself popular..

.. on the basis of his own efforts.

If you are certain that I am
innocent then stop the car, Urmila.

When you are with me then I
don't care about the world.

Nobody can do anything to me.
Nothing can happen to me.

Because you are my fate.

My destiny.

And now, let me test my destiny.

I don't know anything else.

How do I know so
much about the murderer?

Because I am the murderer.

Uma Shankar Tripathi! That's me.

You..

He is showing us something.

It's empty. - Wait.

I knew that you would not
believe that I was involved in it.

That's why I have brought this hand.

Look at this. Where
has the finger gone?

By the way, the
finger is very dangerous.

Here.. Here, it is.

Sir. Sir.

Where have they gone?

Rahul.

Yes sir. He is in front of my eyes.

I will catch him. - What?

Why did they all turn back?

The priest had said
the right thing..

.. that you came and my
destiny took a turn.

I knew that he was committing all
those murders just for recognition!

And I snatched that
very thing from him!

I blamed someone else for all that!

I got big posters of
that man printed..

.. and got them
pasted all over the city..

.. and the killer
wasn't able to bear it!

And.. as I told Mr. Commissioner..

.. that killer.. has
come all the way..

.. and is here to surrender himself.

Right, Commissioner?
Right. Thank you.

Next question please.

Yes madam. - Who else was involved
with you in this mission?

Bad question.

Madam, to solve any case Dr.
Screwwala..

..doesn't need anybody's..

.. of course I need.

Good question. Good question.

And this that bold and brave..

.. lnspector Urmila Matondkar!

Next question please.

Sir, where's the boy..

.. whose posters you got
pasted in the whole city?

He was a social worker.
He worked for the society.

And went back to the society.

No, sir.

He's very much with us. Over here.

Mr. Commissioner.. the
time's up.. please..

Yeah, yeah. So now we
present that deadly killer..

.. Uma Shankar Tripathi!

Hail the Lord!

I've become famous.

Excuse me! Please!

Why has the band been
ordered for Uma Shankar?

It has to be, sir.
- But why?

He might become a minister some day.

Sir, tell us.. what was the
motive behind all the killings?

There was no motive.. it's
just that they were all frail!

No, no.. Objective?
What was the objective?

The objective was to make
a career in politics.

What?

It's very much crystal clear.

You need an MCOM
certificate to become a peon..

.. and for politics you
need a criminal record.

And, my criminal record is very much
ready. - But, the Commissioner..

.. was saying that the motive
behind the killings was sex?

The commissioner's gone mad! Will you
listen to all that he says?! - Yes.

I can buy this from anywhere!

I said the same thing to him.

You said the same thing? - Yeah.

You seem to be from my village.
Brother you too ask a question.

I'm really enjoying it!

You rascal! The rooster
does all the hard-work..

.. and the beggar eats the egg?!

I did all those killings and
you're getting the credit?!

He's not a criminal!
I'm the criminal!

Bastards! I'll commit one more
crime! I'll definitely kill someone!

I don't know him!

Listen.. the whole world
wants to listen to you.

But, I have never seen him. Never

Why have you come to me?

I don't know anything.. why
have they brought me here?

I simply have a Laundy..

.. (Meaning-'Girls.' But wants
to say 'Laundry') business.

You trade in girls?! Why
didn't you tell that earlier?

I would have benefited a lot.
- No problem.

We'll be together in the jail..

I'll start that business
in the jail as well..

.. there's great profit in it.
- Long live, my friend!

Tell us..
for the sake of this job..

.. why did you risk your life?

I just never knew that my life..
yeah yeah..

I knew that my life was in risk..

.. but the thing is
I did all this for my..

.. for my love.

Sir.. - I..

Shall we go home?

But, I won't enter the
house from the backyard.

Now you've come.. so, I'll
march much ahead in life.

But, you'll have to come to
my house.. with the band..

.. will you come?

Yes.
- When?

Sis-in-law, don't scare me.. or else
I won't tell stories to your kids.

Man, you got that thing of your
destiny.. - The dot. I know it.

And, you too got that thing of
your destiny.. - Rekha (line).

We've have done many a
great things in life..

.. so go ahead and click our photos.

C'mon, start with your tune!

We're so cool!

We're so cool!

We're so cool!

We're so cool!

We're so different!

O people, take a look at us!

Look at us.. do look at us.

We're so cool!

We're so cool!

We're so cool!

We're so cool!

We did a lot many absurdities.

Nothing's intricate for us!

We did a lot many absurdities.

Nothing's intricate for us!

Our steps are such.. the
destinations kiss them.

Touch and feel us..
we're hot even in the chill!

We're so cool!

We're so cool!

We're so cool!

Agreed.. that we're a bit amorous.

But, man, we're one in millions!

Agreed.. that we're a bit amorous.

But, man, we're one in millions!

We're here as a Romeo..
and we swear by Juliet.

Love is our weak
point; it's true, dear!

We're so different!

O people, take a look at us!

Look at us.. do look at us.

Look at us.. do look at us.

We're so cool!

We're so cool!

We're so cool!

We're so cool!

We're so cool!

We're so cool!

We're so cool!

We're so cool!