Original subtitles

LENNY, PLEASE...DON'T.

YOU THINK I'M NOT GOING TO FIND YOU

AFTER YOU HUMILIATE ME...AGAIN?

I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING. I SWEAR, I'D NEVER--

NO!

I KNOW WHAT YOU DO.

I SEE.

THE MEN...THE LIES.

THIS IS THE LAST TIME, DAMN IT.

WHAT ARE YOU ON, BABY?

Y-YOU ONLY GET LIKE THIS WHEN YOU--GRR.

WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO, PULVERIZE ME RIGHT HERE?

SOMEBODY'S GONNA HEAR ME SCREAM.

IN DOWNTOWN L.A. AT NIGHT?

WHO'S GONNA HEAR, RACH?

NOBODY WHO CARES.

BESIDES, THIS WILL ALL BE OVER FAST.

LENNY...

PLEASE...

NO.

I'M SORRY.

I JUST...CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE.

POOR LENNY. BURDEN OF TERRORIZING YOUR GIRLFRIEND TOO MUCH FOR YA?

AAH.

LUCKY FOR YOU, I CAN MAKE IT STOP.

RACHEL, YOU ALL RIGHT?

IS HE--

IT'S OK. HE'S NOT GETTING UP FOR A WHILE.

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU ACTUALLY SHOWED UP.

WELL, THAT WAS THE DEAL, RIGHT?

HOW CAN I THANK YOU,

YOU MYSTERIOUS, BLACK-CLAD HUNK OF A NIGHT THING?

NO NEED, LITTLE LADY.

YOUR TEARS OF GRATITUDE ARE ENOUGH FOR ME.

YOU SEE, I WAS ONCE A BAD-ASS VAMPIRE,

BUT LOVE AND A PESKY CURSE DEFANGED ME.

AND NOW I'M JUST A BIG FLUFFY PUPPY WITH BAD TEETH.

NO, NOT THE HAIR. NEVER THE HAIR.

BUT THERE MUST BE SOME WAY I CAN SHOW MY APPRECIATION.

NO. HELPING THOSE IN NEED'S MY JOB.

AND WORKING UP A LOAD OF SEXUAL TENSION

AND PRANCING AWAY LIKE A MAGNIFICENT POOF

IS TRULY THANKS ENOUGH.

I UNDERSTAND.

I HAVE A NEPHEW WHO'S GAY, SO--

SAY NO MORE! EVIL'S STILL AFOOT.

AND I'M ALMOST OUT OF THAT NANCY-BOY HAIR GEL I LIKE SO MUCH.

QUICKLY, TO THE ANGELMOBILE. AWAY.

[FLICKS LIGHTER]

GO ON WITH YOU.

PLAY THE BIG STRAPPING HERO WHILE YOU CAN.

YOU HAVE A FEW SURPRISES COMING YOUR WAY.

THE RING OF AMARRA...

A VISIT FROM YOUR OLD PAL SPIKE...

AND OH, YEAH...

YOUR GRUESOME, HORRIBLE DEATH.

Deejay: ANOTHER 40-MINUTE BLOCK OF UNINTERRUPTED MUSIC.

YOU'RE LISTENING TO THE SOUNDS

OF L.A.'S ONLY MODERN ALTERNATIVE, KLA-ROCK.

IT'S 11:05.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR KARMA IS?

THIS IS SO AWESOME.

OUR FIRST WALK-IN CLIENT.

EVERYTHING IS GOING ACCORDING TO PLAN.

SEE GIRL IN DISTRESS...

SEE ANGEL SAVE GIRL FROM DRUGGIE/STALKER BOYFRIEND...

SEE BOYFRIEND GO TO JAIL...

AND SEE...

INVOICE!

TA-DA.

WHAT?

NOTHING. YOU'RE DOING A LOVELY JOB THERE.

LOOKS VERY OFFICIAL.

SO WHY ARE YOU NOT REJOICING AT OUR FIRST PAYING CLIENT?

'CAUSE THAT'S NOT MONEY IN YOUR HAND, DARLIN'. THAT'S MAIL.

THERE'S A BIG DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THAT AND ACTUALLY GETTIN' PAID.

BUT SHE HAS TO PAY. INVOICE.

THAT'S THE RULE OF OUR WHOLE, LIKE, SOCIETY.

DEFAULTING. THAT'S ANOTHER POPULAR RULE IN SOCIETY,

ESPECIALLY WITH THE DOWN-AND-OUTS.

NOT THAT I'VE PERPETRATED SAID HEINOUSNESS MYSELF--

SO WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? WHY BOTHER?

ALL I'M SAYING IS,

IF YOU AND I EVER HOPE TO TAKE THAT CRUISE TO THE BAHAMAS TOGETHER,

WE'RE GONNA NEED A LOT MORE CLIENTS OF MEANS.

AND AN ALTERNATE REALITY

IN WHICH YOU'RE MATTHEW McCONAUGHEY.

HELLO, L.A.

OZ? OH, MY GOD.

OZ, I AM SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU.

GOOD OLD OZ.

OZ. OZ!

LET ME JUST TAKE A STAB AT THIS, BUT YOU'D BE OZ?

GOOD GUESS.

THIS IS SO COOL. I MEAN, HERE YOU ARE IN L.A.,

AND YOU'RE THE TOTAL EMBODIMENT OF ALL THINGS SUNNYDALE.

IT'S A BURDEN, BUT I MANAGE.

OK, WE HAVE SERIOUS CATCHING UP TO DO.

HOW'S EVERYTHING? HOW-HOW'S THE BRONZE?

THE SAME.

AND THE GANG?

THEY'RE GOOD. GOOD?

GOOD!

GOOD.

WE DONE? COMPLETELY.

[COUGHS]

OH, THIS IS DOYLE. HE, AIR QUOTE, WORKS HERE.

HEY.

SO I HEARD THE RUMORS.

UH, YOU CAN FILL ME IN ON THE REAL DEAL.

YOU GUYS ARE, LIKE, DETECTIVES?

NO. I'M AN ACTRESS.

QUITE A CAPTIVATING ONE AT THAT.

AND, BETWEEN MY MANY GIGS,

I SOMETIMES CHOOSE TO HELP ANGEL.

HE'S THE DETECTIVE.

DOES HE HAVE A HAT AND GUN?

JUST FANGS.

WELL, THAT WORKS. WHERE IS HE?

HEY, GUYS.

HEY.

OZ.

ANGEL.

NICE SURPRISE. THANKS.

STAYING LONG?

A FEW DAYS.

THEY ALWAYS LIKE THIS?

NO. WE'RE USUALLY LACONIC.

COME ON IN.

SO...GOOD TO SEE YOU.

LIKEWISE. I CAME PRIMARILY FOR A GIG,

BUT ALSO TO GIVE YOU THIS.

WAIT A MINUTE. IS THAT WHAT I THINK IT IS?

IT'S THE GEM OF AMARRA.

ONE AND THE SAME.

BUFFY WANTED YOU TO HAVE IT.

HEY...BUFFY. HOW IS GOOD OLD BUFFY, ANYWAY?

SHE'S--

WHAT, STILL THE BRAVE LITTLE SLAYER,

OR SHE MOPING AROUND IN THE DARK LIKE--

NOBODY AROUND HERE. MM-MMM.

SHE'S GOOD.

SHE'S BUFFY.

AND I'M SURE WE'LL BE INTERESTED IN THAT LATER,

BUT FOR RIGHT NOW, CAN WE CONCENTRATE ON THE MOTHER LODE ANGEL JUST HIT?

WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR, MAN? PUT IT ON.

OK, YOU'RE GETTING WEIRD WITH THIS RING.

SINCE WHEN DID YOU GET ALL VERSACE ABOUT ACCESSORIZING?

SINCE THE ACCESSORY IS PRICELESS

AND RENDERS THE WEARER 100% UNKILLABLE.

UNKILLABLE?

WHEW. LIKE, NOT EVEN STAKES?

NOT NOTHING. NOT STAKES, NOT FIRE.

BEST OF ALL, NOT EVEN SUNLIGHT. I MEAN, JUST THINK OF IT, MAN.

POOLSIDE TANNING... BARGAIN MATINEES, PLUS THERE ARE SEVERAL

STRIP CLUBS I KNOW OF THAT HAVE A FABULOUS LUNCHEON BUFFET

THAT'S REALLY QUITE TASTY.

IT'S...I'VE HEARD.

AND IT'S FROM BUFFY?

YEAH. YOUR OLD BUDDY SPIKE

DUG UP SUNNYDALE LOOKING FOR IT.

GOT A FISTFUL OF BUFFY AND LEFT IT BEHIND.

SHE WANTED TO BE SURE IT WAS IN GOOD HANDS.

SO SHE SENT YOU?

I WAS HEADING THIS WAY.

AND SHE DIDN'T EVEN SEND A NOTE? WOW!

THAT'S REALLY--

THIS IS ONE OF THOSE TIMES

THAT I SHOULD JUST SHY AWAY FROM THE TOPIC, ISN'T IT?

COME ON, I GOT SOMETHING THAT'LL BOOST YOUR SPIRITS.

WHY DON'T YOU PUT IT ON? AND HERE, I'LL STAKE YA. IT'LL BE FUN.

MAYBE LATER.

YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?I SAID MAYBE LATER.

YEAH-- DOYLE.

OK, HAVE IT YOUR WAY.

BUT I'M STILL GOING TO CELEBRATE WITH A DRINK DOWN AT THE PUB.

HE'D CELEBRATE THE OPENING OF A MAILBOX WITH A DRINK DOWN AT THE PUB.

YOU COMING, OZ?

YEAH, I COULD EAT.

GO AHEAD.

OH, GOD.

YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD FEEL REALLY GOOD RIGHT NOW?

ONE OF THOSE MIND-NUMBING, HEAD-CRACKING VISIONS

THAT I GET FROM TIME TO TIME.

BECAUSE THAT WOULD REALLY KILL ME.

WHAT, IS THERE SOME KIND OF TRICK TO THIS?

I THINK THE TRICK IS LAYING OFF THE ALE

BEFORE YOU START QUOTING ANGELA'S ASHES

AND WEEPING LIKE A BABY MAN.

HEY, THAT'S A GOOD BOOK.

SO I'VE HEARD.

BUT I DOUBT VERY MUCH THAT THE MAIN CHARACTERS

ARE BETTY AND BARNEY RUBBLE,

AS YOU SO VEHEMENTLY INSISTED LAST NIGHT.

ALSO, I DON'T THINK OZ APPRECIATED BEING CALLED MY LITTLE BAMM-BAMM ALL NIGHT.

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

HELLO. HELLO?

ANGEL?

RACHEL, IS THAT YOU?

THEY LET LENNY OUT.

THE LAWYER SAID SOMETHING ABOUT A TECHNICALITY.

I'LL BE RIGHT THERE.

ANGEL.

I BELIEVE YOU HAVE SOMETHING I'M LOOKING FOR.

SHINY LITTLE BAUBLE.

MIGHT AS WELL GO HOME, SPIKE.

GEM OF AMARRA STAYS WITH ME.

WHY? 'CAUSE YOU'RE ANGEL, VAMP DETECTIVE NOW?

OOH, I'M SO SCARED.

WHAT'S NEXT, VAMPIRE COWBOY?

VAMPIRE FIREMAN?

OH, VAMPIRE BALLERINA.

I DO LIKE TO WORK WITH MY LEGS.

SO, YOU AND I DUKE IT OUT, HUH?

IS THIS YOUR BIG STRATEGY FOR GETTING THE RING BACK?

I HAD A PLAN.

YOU? A PLAN?

A GOOD PLAN. SMART, CAREFULLY LAID OUT.

BUT I GOT BORED.

ALL THAT WATCHING, WAITING.

MY LEGS STARTED TO CRAMP.

ENOUGH WITH THE HIT 'N' QUIP.

JUST TELL ME WHERE THE DAMNED RING IS.

IT WOULDN'T GO WITH YOUR OUTFIT.

CORDELIA...

YOU LOOK SMASHING.

YOU LOSE WEIGHT?

YES! YOU KNOW, THERE'S THIS GREAT GYM ON--

HEY...

I'LL GET THAT RING.

THIS ISN'T OVER TILL ONE OF US IS A PILE OF DUST, MATE.

ARE YOU OK?

MORE IMPORTANTLY, HOW'S THE RING?

IT'S FINE.

I CAN'T SAY THE SAME FOR YOU TWO, THOUGH.

BETTER GET OUT OF SIGHT TILL THIS THING'S OVER. SPIKE'S OUT FOR BLOOD.

TAKE HER TO YOUR PLACE.

HIS PLACE? WHY CAN'T I JUST GO HOME?

'CAUSE HE KNOWS YOU, CORDELIA.

IF HE WANTS, HE'LL TRACK YOU DOWN.

WELL, HE'S NOT INVITED, RIGHT? HE CAN'T COME IN.

NO, BUT HE CAN BURN THE PLACE TO THE GROUND.

OK, THEN. DOYLE'S PLACE IT IS.

WHAT ABOUT YOU, MAN? HE'LL BE COMING BACK FOR YOU BEFORE LONG.

I KNOW.

Cordelia: SO WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?

FIND HIM FIRST.

ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO.

NO, MAN, NOT SPICE. THAT'S THE BIRD THAT WORKS DOWN ON BROADWAY.

SPIKE, AS IN RAILROAD.

UH-HUH, YEAH, VAMPIRE, RIGHT.

NO? OK, THEN, THANKS.

FRANKIE TRIPOD, A BIG NO.

FRANKIE TRIPOD? OH, I GET IT.

SOME KIND OF THREE-LEGGED MONSTER, RIGHT?

NO, HE'S HUMAN.

THEN WHAT'S HIS NAME SUPPOSED TO--OH.

HEY, LISTEN, WHY DON'T YOU SIT DOWN, GET COMFORTABLE?

ANGEL SAID I SHOULD GO THROUGH EVERY NAME IN MY BOOK

UNTIL I GET A BEAD WHERE SPIKE IS HIDING OUT.

COULD BE A WHILE.

PLEASE. I COULDN'T GET COMFORTABLE HERE

IF THE FLOOR WAS LINED WITH MINK.

I MEAN, HOW CAN YOU LIVE LIKE THIS?

I DIDN'T UNTIL LAST WEEK, THEN I SAW WHAT YOU DID WITH YOUR PLACE,

AND I JUST HAD TO CALL MY DECORATOR.

NO WAY! MY APARTMENT IS NOWHERE NEAR THIS YUCKY.

IT SMELLS LIKE BONG WATER IN HERE.

OK, SOME LAUNDRY MAY BE A COUPLE OF DAYS PAST DUE, I CONFESS--

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

YEAH.

HEY, KIZZY.

YEAH, A VAMP CALLED SPIKE.

NO, HUH?

WHAT? A "C" NOTE?

I ABSOLUTELY PAID THAT BACK, MAN.

HEY, NO.

SORRY, THERE GOES MY OTHER LINE.

HE WAS MISTAKEN.

BUT I DIDN'T HAVE TIME TO GET INTO IT, RIGHT?

I'M ON A MISSION HERE.

SO WHAT ABOUT THIS SPIKE?

IS HE AS BAD AS ALL THAT?

SHOULD I BE SWEATING?

NO. HE'S NOT SO--

SWEAT.

THAT'S WHAT I FIGURED.

YOU KEEP SHOWING UP LIKE THIS,

I'M GONNA START THINKING YOU'RE A MAN OF YOUR WORD.

STRANGER THINGS.

NOT MANY.

SO WE'LL GET YOU OUT OF HERE. THERE ARE PLACES YOU CAN GO WHERE YOU'LL BE SAFE.

HEH. LIKE A SHELTER?

IT'S A START.

HE WON'T BE ABLE TO FIND YOU, I SWEAR.

IT-IT'S NOT THE SHELTER. IT'S JUST, UH...

HALF THE TIME, YOU KNOW HOW THIS WHOLE THING STARTS UP AGAIN, LENNY AND ME?

YOU CALL HIM.

I--I--I JUST...I START TO JONES FOR HIM.

THE WAY HE JONESES FOR ROCK.

AND I CALL, OR I FIND HIM IN SOME DIVE,

AND I DRAG HIM HOME,

AND IT'S GOOD FOR A WHILE.

BUT IT DOESN'T LAST.

THIS LAST TIME, HE WOULD'VE KILLED YOU.

I'M SCARED, ANGEL.

I'M MORE SCARED OF ME THAN I AM OF HIM RIGHT NOW.

YOU'RE AT A CROSSROADS. I KNOW.

IT'S EITHER GO FOR THE EASY FIX OR WAIT FOR THE CONSEQUENCES

OR TAKE THE HARD ROAD AND GO WITH FAITH.

OH, GOD.

YOU'RE NOT FROM THAT FREAKY CHURCH ON SUNSET, ARE YOU?

IN YOURSELF. THAT KIND OF FAITH.

WHAT I'M SAYING IS IF YOU LEAVE LENNY FOR GOOD, IT'LL HURT,

BUT EVENTUALLY YOU'LL BE STRONGER FOR IT.

AND MAYBE YOU'LL FIND YOUR WAY

TO THE KIND OF LOVE YOU DESERVE.

YOU MEAN THE KIND THAT COMES WITHOUT 911 CALLS?

THAT'S THE GENERAL IDEA.

OH, YEAH. SPIKE'S NEARLY DONE BUFFY IN A FEW TIMES.

I MENTION HE'S KILLED 2 SLAYERS ALREADY?

YA DID.

OH, AND THIS ONE TIME,

HE AND DRU RAISED THIS DEMON

THAT BURNED PEOPLE ALIVE FROM THE INSIDE.

IT WAS THIS WHOLE WEIRD THING WITH AN ARM IN A BOX.

AN ARM IN A BOX?

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

[ALTERS ACCENT] HOUSE OF PIES.

DOYLE. IS THAT YOU?

OH, SORRY, MAN. JUST LAYING LOW.

ALL THOSE CALLS TO PAST ACQUAINTANCES

STIRRED UP A FEW, UH, RESENTMENTS.

I HOPE IT WAS WORTH IT.

LISTEN, MANNY THE PIG SAID HE DIDN'T KNOW ANYTHING

ABOUT A VAMPIRE CALLED SPIKE.

SO?

HE SAID THAT BEFORE I MENTIONED ANYTHING ABOUT SPIKE.

YOU'LL FIND HIM AT A JOINT DOWN ON THIRD CALLED THE ORBIT ROOM.

OK, I'LL START WITH MANNY THE PIG, THEN.

WORK YOUR WAY DOWN.

HE LEFT FOR THE CLUB.

TRY THE GAME.

PUT 'EM DOWN.

HE'LL KILL ME IF I TALK.

HOW HEALTHY DO YOU THINK IT IS TO STAY QUIET?

HE'S OUT BACK.

[METAL CLANGING]

LET HER GO.

DID ANYONE EVER TELL YOU YOU'RE A HELL OF A BUZZ-KILL, MATE?

RUN.

CAUGHT ME FAIR AND SQUARE, WHITE HAT.

GUESS THERE'S NOTHING TO DO NOW BUT GO ALONG QUIETLY

AND PAY MY DEBT TO SOCIETY.

YOU THINK YOU CAN COME TO MY TOWN AND PULL THIS CRAP?

YOU NEVER LEARN, SPIKE.

I MAY BE A SLOW LEARNER, BUT...

EVENTUALLY I CATCH ON.

ANGEL SHOULD HAVE CALLED BY NOW.

THIS IS BAD.

MAYBE NOT.

MAYBE HE DID AWAY WITH SPIKE IN SHORT ORDER

AND DECIDED TO GIVE A GO AT SURFING.

RIGHT.

WHAT AM I WORRIED ABOUT?

ANGEL HAS THE RING, RIGHT?

ABSOLUTELY. I BETCHA HE'S HANGING 10

OFF THE SANDY SHORES OF MALIBU RIGHT ABOUT NOW,

WIND IN HIS HAIR,

BIKINI BABES A-WHISTLIN'.

[CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS]

MARCUS IS AN EXPERT.

SOME SAY ARTIST,

BUT I'VE NEVER BEEN COMFORTABLE WITH LABELS.

HE'S A BLOODY KING OF TORTURE, HE IS.

HUMANS, DEMONS...

POLITICIANS-- MAKES NO DIFFERENCE.

SOME SAY HE INVENTED SEVERAL OF THE CLASSICS,

BUT HE WON'T TELL ME WHICH ONES.

BENEATH THE COOL EXTERIOR, YOU'LL FIND HE'S RATHER SHY.

EXCEPT WITH KIDS.

YOU LIKE KIDS, DON'T YOU, MARCUS?

WELL, LIKES TO EAT.

AND OTHER NASTY THINGS.

HIS SKIN.

ANNOYING, ISN'T IT?

STILL ATTACHED.

OVER 200 YEARS OF LIVING,

AND SO LITTLE EXTERNAL DAMAGE.

WHAT ABOUT INTERNAL?

DO YOU TWO NEED TO BE ALONE,

OR CAN WE GET ON WITH THE OUCHY PART?

HE'S KNOWN LOVE.

WITH A SLAYER, NO LESS. HOW'S THAT FOR PERVERSION?

AND HE HAS A SOUL.

RIGHT, VAMPIRE WITH A SOUL,

CURSY-CURSED TO WALK THE EARTH TRYING TO DO GOOD.

THAT'S NOT GONNA BE A PROBLEM, IS IT?

ON THE CONTRARY.

CREATURES WITH SOULS HAVE SOMETHING TO LOSE.

SOULS, FINGERS, TOES.

LET'S GET CHOPPING, SHALL WE?

I WANT MY DAMN RING.

WHAT DO YOU WANT, ANGEL?

ARE YOU GONNA TORTURE ME OR JUST BORE ME TO DEATH, HUH?

AAH! AAH!

PROBABLY A LITTLE OF BOTH.

SOMEONE'S HAVING SHISH KEBAB.

WHAT DO YOU WANT, ANGEL?

HOUSE IN THE COUNTRY, GOOD PAIR OF RUNNING SHOES YOU COULD ALSO WEAR OUT TO DINNER.

WHY DO YOU KEEP ASKING HIM THAT?

AND WHY DO YOU KEEP PLAYING THAT BLEEDING BRAHMS?

ACTUALLY, IT'S MOZART. SYMPHONY 41.

I FIND IT VERY EFFECTIVE.

WELL, PERSONALLY, I PREFER HIS OLDER, FUNNIER SYMPHONIES MYSELF.

LOOK, I WANT MY RING!

AND IF I DON'T GET IT PRETTY SOON--

I'M GONNA STAKE ME OLD SIRE

RIGHT HERE AND NOW.

HE KNOWS YOU WON'T KILL HIM UNTIL YOU GET THE RING.

HE KNOWS YOU'RE LYING.

YOU GET IT FOR ME.

SOON HE'LL WANNA TELL ME EVERYTHING HE HAS TO TELL AND THEN SOME.

AND HE KNOWS I'M NOT LYING.

I BELIEVE HE DOES.

YOU'RE AN IDIOT, SPIKE.YOU THINK?

'CAUSE I'M NOT THE ONE CHAINED TO THE CEILING

WITH HOT POKERS IN MY SIDE.

YOU HIRED A VAMPIRE.

WHAT DO YOU THINK HE'S GONNA DO WITH THE RING WHEN HE FINDS IT, HUH? HAND IT OVER TO YOU?

OH, GOOD LORD. WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF--

OH, HALF A MO', I DID.

I HIRED A GUY WHO DOESN'T CARE ABOUT THE RING

OR ANYTHING ELSE ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH,

EXCEPT TAKING BLOKES APART ONE PIECE AT A TIME.

IT'S CALLED ADDICTION, ANGEL.

WE ALL HAVE THEM.

I BELIEVE YOURS IS NAMED SLUTTY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER.

[MUSIC ENDS]

THANK YOU.

SPEAKING OF LITTLE BUFF,

I RAN INTO HER RECENTLY.

YOUR NAME DIDN'T COME UP.

ALTHOUGH, SHE HAS BEEN AWFUL BUSY...

JUMPING THE BONES OF THE VERY FIRST LUNKHEAD WHO CAME ALONG.

GOOD-LOOKING FELLOW.

USED HER SHAMELESSLY.

SHE IS CUTE WHEN SHE'S HURTING, ISN'T SHE?

I THINK SHE'S CUTER WHEN SHE'S KICKING YOUR ASS.

[SIGHS]

I THINK I'LL GET SOME FRESH AIR,

LEAVE YOU 2 KIDS TO IT.

AAH!

[ANGEL GROANING]

NOW, THAT'S MUSIC.

IF I WAS A RING...

WHERE WOULD I BE?

WELL, THIS IS FUN...

BUT IT'S GONNA GET OLD REAL FAST.

MOST THINGS THAT LIVE AND BREATHE

HATE THE DARK AND LOVE THE LIGHT.

AAH!

WE'RE DIFFERENT, THOUGH, AREN'T WE? WE HATE THE LIGHT OF DAY,

AND IT HATES US BACK IN KIND.

YOU HID THE RING, ANGEL.

YOU COULD BE WALKING IN THE LIGHT RIGHT NOW.

SO I HAVE TO WONDER, WHAT DO YOU WANT, IF NOT THE RING?

IT'S THROUGH THE PAIN THAT WE FIND THE TRUTH OF WHO WE ARE.

IT STRIPS US OF OUR DEFENSES.

WE ARE MADE INNOCENT AGAIN, LIKE CHILDREN.

I LIKE CHILDREN, ANGEL.

I'M HERE TO HELP YOU FIND THAT INNOCENCE

HERE...WITH THE LIGHT.

[ANGEL GROANING]

WHEN YOU'RE THROUGH GIVING THE PLACE

THE FULL JOHNNY DEPP-OVER,

I HOPE YOU HAVE THE CASH TO PAY FOR ALL OF THIS.

CORDELIA.

LOVE THE HAIR.

WISH I COULD SAY THE SAME TO YOU.

THAT'S CLOSE ENOUGH, DIMWIT.

WHAT IS IT WITH YOU GOOD GUYS RUNNING IN PACKS?

WHO'S THIS ONE, THEN?

MORE THAN MEETS THE EYE, BLONDIE.

OOH, THE MICK'S GOT SPINE.

MAYBE I'LL SNAP IT IN 2.

DO YOU WANT ME TO USE THIS?

YOU'LL BE DEAD BEFORE THE ARROW LEAVES THE BOW.

NOW, WHERE WAS I?

BLOODY TIRED OF LOOKING FOR THAT RING.

I THINK YOU TWO SHOULD TAKE OVER NOW.

WHERE'S ANGEL?

ANGEL? UM...

TALL BROODING GUY, CAVEMAN BROW?

HE'S HAVING THE LIVING HELL TORTURED OUT OF HIM.

AND YOU KNOW HOW STUBBORN HE CAN BE.

HE MIGHT DIE BEFORE HE GIVES UP THE RING.

WHY DON'T YOU TWO FIND IT REAL FAST AND GIVE IT TO ME?

I'LL LET ANGEL GO.

I DON'T TRUST YOU.

TO COIN A POPULAR SUNNYDALE PHRASE, "DUH."

BUT YOU HAVE UNTIL SUNDOWN TO SAVE HIM.

YOU'LL FIND ME BEHIND PETERSON'S FISHERY

BETWEEN SEWARD AND WESTMINSTER.

DON'T BE LATE.

YOU DID TERRIBLE THINGS WHEN YOU WERE BAD, DIDN'T YOU?

AND NOW YOU'RE TRYING SO HARD TO DO GOOD.

BUT, ANGEL...

THERE'S NOTHING EITHER BAD OR GOOD,

BUT THINKING MAKES IT SO.

NOW I CAN MAKE THE PAIN GO AWAY.

AAARGH!

AND AS YOU KNOW,

I CAN BRING IT BACK AGAIN.

AAH!

WHAT DO YOU WANT, ANGEL?

I THINK I KNOW, BUT I'D LIKE TO HEAR IT FROM YOU.

THE TRUTH.

I'LL KNOW IF YOU'RE LYING.

I WANT...

FORGIVENESS.

YES.

THAT'S THE TRUTH.

AND YOU WANNA EARN IT.

YOU'RE NOT THE TYPE WHO TAKES THE EASY WAY OUT,

WHICH IS WHY I LIKE YOU SO MUCH.

IN THE END,

YOU WON'T FEEL GUILT...

OR REMORSE...

OR ANYTHING BUT PURE DARKNESS.

IN THE END,

THE RING, THE PAST,

NONE OF IT WILL MEAN ANYTHING ANYMORE.

YOU'LL BE FREE.

I PROMISE.

AND I PROMISE...

TO KILL YOU.

NOW, NOW. STAKING THE TORTURER IS STRICTLY PROHIBITED.

EASY, BIG FELLA!

STILL NEED THAT RING.

NOW YOU'VE MADE HIM MAD.

WOULDN'T WANNA BE IN YOUR CHAINS.

Marcus: WON'T BE LONG NOW.

WELL, WHAT'S SAY I GRAB A PAIR OF NEEDLE-NOSE PLIERS AND GIVE A HAND?

DRAT!

Doyle: WHAT?

IT'S NOT IN THE FREEZER,

AND IT'S NOT IN THE TOILET TANK.

IN THE MOVIES, IT'S ALWAYS IN ONE OF THOSE PLACES.

IT'S NOT HERE.

WE'VE LOOKED EVERYWHERE.

EXCEPT...

THE RAT-INFESTED SEWER TUNNELS HE USES

TO GET AROUND IN THE DAYTIME.

OK, THIS IS NOT A NEEDLE IN A HAYSTACK.

THIS IS A NEEDLE IN KANSAS.

I KNOW YOU'RE RIGHT.

WE JUST GOTTA KEEP LOOKING.

HERE!

HOW DID YOU DO THAT?

YOU GOTTA GET LUCKY SOMETIMES.

I COULD HUG YOU!

YOU'RE NOT THAT LUCKY. NOW, COME ON.

WE GOTTA SAVE ANGEL.

RIGHT...BY GIVING SPIKE EXACTLY WHAT HE WANTS

SO HE CAN KILL US.

RIGHT!

NO. WE NEED A PLAN.

SO...

WHERE'S MY RING?

NOT ON US.

BUT WE KNOW WHERE IT IS.

AND SUDDENLY, I'M SO PAINFULLY BORED.

TIME RUNS SHORT, CHILDREN.

GIVE ME THAT RING AS IF ANGEL'S LIFE DEPENDED ON IT.

LISTEN, YOU LITTLE COCKNEY,

TAKE US TO ANGEL NOW.

SO, IF HE'S STILL IN ONE PIECE,

WE'LL TELL YOU WHERE YOU CAN FIND YOUR RING.

HE'S STILL ALIVE, I THINK.

IN ONE PIECE WAS NEVER PART OF THE DEAL.

AAH!

LUCY, I'M HOME.

ANGEL!HEY! HEY!

A DEAL'S A DEAL.

CORDELIA...

AND OUR DEAL WAS FOR THE RING. SO...

YOU'VE WASTED QUITE ENOUGH OF MY TIME.

I'D REALLY LIKE IT...NOW!

YOU WANT THE RING, YOU DOG, HUH?

GO FETCH.

OK, GOOD.

YOU'VE GOT THE RING, WE'VE GOT ANGEL.

AND NOW YOU'RE GONNA LEAVE US ALONE, AND WE'RE GONNA LEAVE.

COME ON. YOU DON'T REALLY THINK WE'RE GONNA DO THAT, DO YOU?

NOT REALLY. NO.

SPIKE.

WHERE'S THE RING?

BLOODY HELL.

SON OF A BITCH!

I DO THE WORK,

I DO THE DIGGING,

FIGHT OFF A SLAYER,

DRIVE TO L.A.,

HIRE THE HELP,

AND WHAT DO I GET?

ROYALLY SCREWED, IS WHAT!

WELL, THAT CINCHES IT.

NO MORE PARTNERS.

FROM NOW ON, I'M MY OWN MAN.

A LONE WOLF.

SOLE SURVIVOR.

HEY, LOOK OUT!

HERE COMES SPIKE,

THE BIGGEST, BADDEST, MOTHER--

[PANTING]

I REALLY HOPE THEY KILL EACH OTHER.

HOW'S HE DOING?

HE'LL LIVE.

NOT WITHOUT HELP.

WE NEED TO GET HIM TO A HOSPITAL.

I HEAR YOU, BUT WHICH ONE?

THEY ALL TEND TO SPECIALIZE IN HUMANS.

HE'S RIGHT. TOO RISKY.

YOU KNOW ANY FIRST-AID?

YOUR BASIC SIXTH GRADE, BUT I CAN IMPROVISE.

IF WE GET HIM SOMEPLACE DARK, MAYBE I CAN--

TURN AROUND.

Oz: ANGEL.

HE'S DELIRIOUS. IGNORE HIM.

TURN AROUND!

SO YOU CAN DO WHAT?

IT'S DAYLIGHT, AND YOU'RE RINGLESS.

UNLESS YOU'RE CHANGING THE ACT TO HUMAN TORCH,

I DON'T THINK SO.

SHE'S RIGHT. YOU'RE DEATH ON TOAST NOW

AND NO SHAPE TO BE FIGHTING A TORTURE DEMON.

AAGH!

GOD!

OK. HE'S GOT A THING FOR CHILDREN.

OZ, TURN AROUND. HE CAN'T HAVE GONE FAR.

HELLO, BOYS AND GIRLS.

GO! RUN! MOVE YOUR LITTLE SCOUT LEGS.

NOW! GO! COME ON!

Doyle: DAMN IT. I'LL GET HIM.

DOYLE!

ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THIS?

YEAH.

Cordelia: WHERE IS HE?

WHAT ARE YOU PLANNING TO DO, KILL ME?

WELL, AFTER ALL, I PROMISED.

YOU NEVER CRACKED ME, MARCUS.

YOU TRIED, BUT YOU FAILED.

NOW, THAT... THAT'S GOTTA BE TORTURE.

AAAHHH!

ARE YOU OK?

FINE.

THANKS FOR THE HELP, MAN.

YOU WERE KEY.

YOU'RE...

INCREDIBLY PALE.

LOOK, YOU SHOULD LIE DOWN.

WE SHOULD TAKE YOU HOME.

JUST GIVE HIM A MINUTE.

HE'S VERY PALE.

PALER THAN MOST PEOPLE.

Doyle: SO HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN BETWEEN SUNSETS?

200 YEARS, GIVE OR TAKE.

WELL, YOU GOTTA BE FEELING PRETTY DAMN GOOD, THEN.

I MEAN, THIS RING, IT CHANGES EVERYTHING, DON'T IT?

YEAH, IT IS SPECTACULAR, I KNOW,

BUT I DO PROMISE THERE WILL BE ANOTHER ONE JUST LIKE IT AGAIN TOMORROW.

NOT FOR ME.

WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?

THAT THE CITY'S GONNA GET HIT BY A METEOR BEFORE TOMORROW NIGHT OR--

NO. NO. IT'S TOO HORRIBLE TO SAY.

I CAN'T EVEN BRING MYSELF TO SAY THE OTHER.

I'M NOT GONNA WEAR THE RING.

THAT WAS THE OTHER.

YOU GOT A REAL ADDICTION TO THE BROODING PART OF LIFE.

ANYONE EVER TELL YOU THAT?

ONCE OR TWICE.

CARE TO EXPLAIN?

I MEAN, THIS RING IS YOUR REDEMPTION. IT'S WHAT YOU'VE BEEN WAITING FOR.

NO. IT JUST LOOKS LIKE IT.

ANGEL, MAN, THINK WHAT YOU'RE SAYING.

I HAVE.

I'VE THOUGHT OF IT FROM EVERY ANGLE.

WHAT I FIGURE IS, I DID A LOT OF DAMAGE IN MY DAY,

MORE THAN YOU CAN IMAGINE.

SO, WHAT, YOU DON'T GET THE RING

BECAUSE YOUR PERIOD OF SELF-FLAGELLATION ISN'T OVER YET?

THINK OF ALL THE DAYTIME PEOPLE YOU COULD HELP

BETWEEN 9:00 AND 5:00.

THEY HAVE HELP.

THE WHOLE WORLD IS DESIGNED FOR THEM,

SO MUCH THAT THEY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT GOES ON AROUND THEM AFTER DARK.

THEY DON'T SEE THE WEAK ONES LOST IN THE NIGHT

OR THE THINGS THAT PREY ON THEM.

AND IF I JOIN THEM,

MAYBE I'D STOP SEEING, TOO.

AND WHO'D LOOK OUT FOR ALL THE INSOMNIACS?

I WAS BROUGHT BACK FOR A REASON, DOYLE.

AND AS MUCH AS I'D LIKE TO KID MYSELF,

I DON'T THINK IT WAS FOR 18 HOLES AT RANCHO.

OH, AND THAT RACHEL GIRL WITH THE CRAZY BOYFRIEND CALLED.

SAID TO SAY THANKS AND THAT SHE FOUND A LITTLE FAITH.

SAID YOU'D KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.

I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, BUT I HAD A NICE DAY.

YOU KNOW, EXCEPT FOR THE BULK OF IT,

WHERE I WAS NEARLY TORTURED TO DEATH.

HEY, YOU STOOD UP.

OH, GOD. I WAS THIS CLOSE TO TELLING HIM EVERYTHING.

I MEAN, ONE MORE HOT POKER,

AND I WAS GIVING HIM THE RING, YOUR MOM,

EVERYTHING.

Angel: HOW IS YOUR MOM?

GRR! ARRGH!