All language subtitles for Touch of Pink (2004) 1080p

Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen,

and welcome.

I'm Cary Grant.

Now, I know
what you're thinking.

"But he's been dead
for 20-odd years."

Actually, longer.

I first died when I made
The Pride and the Passion

in '59.

But as long as there are people
who remember us,

who laugh and cry

at the ghostly impressions
we've left behind,

then we're alive.

I read that once.

Then I ate
the fortune cookie...

But seriously,

you good people just keep
looking up to us movie stars,

and we'll keep
looking after you.

Now, that'll be Alim.
I look after him.

Lucky Alim.

He's happy, he's successful,
in love...

and, frankly,
that's all because of me.

Here's my little samosa now.

Bubbles?

The living room will be there,
and the bedroom over there.

What about a fireplace?

I love fireplaces.

Then we'll put one
in every room.

You know, we really ought to go
on holiday.

Let's go to Bermuda,

stay for a while,

then cruise around
the Greek islands.

It's the only way
to see the Greek islands.

Slowly, by boat.

They're like fine paintings.
You mustn't rush up to them.

Time to get back.

Set photographer, please.

Do think about
that holiday.

Can I have
the set photographer, please?

I'm here.

Clear for
rehearsal.

Looks like Niagara Falls,
only in flowers.

Oh, and this is only
the engagement party.

Wait till you see
the wedding.

Everything
first-class only.

They must have
cost you a fortune.

Ah, what does it matter?
Khaled is minting money.

Do you know, he
actually buys ice now.

Oh, make sure you wipe
these glasses, hey.

No spots.

Honestly, if it
didn't look so tacky,

I'd do everything myself.

Khaled,
oh, not the red tie.

It'll clash
with the food, hey, beta?

Wear the blue.

When Alim gets engaged,
all this will be yours.

Oh, Nuru!

Well, maybe not all this.

Nuru, your gray
is poking through.

You haven't
colored your hair?

For whom?

Hmm?

It's your day, Dolly.

Nobody will be
looking at me, huh?

Oh! Hmm...

-Hey.
-Hey, babe.

I didn't have time
to get home.

You look great.

He wants me
to be best man.

Now, as you know,
I've never been to Canada,

never met your family,

or been
to a Muslim wedding.

Now, how could I meet
these three goals

all at once?

Come on.

You were just talking
about a holiday.

Toronto is not a holiday
destination, Giles.

Try the prawn one
next, huh?

Three different kinds
of pulao.

You can always
come back for more.

Aw...

don't they make
a gorgeous couple?

"The course
of true love--"

Gathers no moss.

Sheru...

Giles!

Hello!

Happy anniversary!

Hello. Mwah.

-Mwah.
-Mwah.

Come on.

Hey...

-Surprise!
-Delia!

Are you surprised?
You look surprised.

Absolutely.

-Hello, Mum.
-Hello, darling.

You do like surprise
parties, don't you?

Sure.

I just wish I'd known.

Sheru...

Oh, is this your
little Dilshad?

Oh, what a cute
little bunny.

Oh, Nuru,
look how big she's become.

Dilshad wants another samosa.

Oh, does she?

You'll be playing
with your own

grandchildren soon.

Khaled wants two boys
and two girls.

And Nuru's Alim will also
make her a grandmother

one day soon.

From your lips
to Allah's ear.

Did I mention
that Alim is courting?

Lovely young woman.

-Surgeon.
-A surgeon?

Like Khaled's girl, no?

Nina's a dentist.

Ah, yes. A dentist.

Dolly, Dolly. Pardon me.

Come. The cake cutting's
about to begin.

Shame Alim's girl
isn't here.

She could
lend us a knife.

Alim has a girl?

He'll come to the wedding,
won't he?

He's coming now?

Of course
he's coming

to his cousin-brother's wedding.

Well, from
what I was told--

Wait until you
see this cake.

So lovely,
isn't it, Dolly?

Filled with nuts
and fruit and cream.

Well, it's very rich,
and expensive.

Of course,
I'll only have a bite.

Sweets go directly
from my mouth to my hips.

Like your husband, huh?

Come, come.

Pardon me.
Excuse me.

Coming through.

You all right?

Yeah, just a bit smoky.

So you invited exes?

Giles doesn't have any
actual friends, only exes.

Hope it's okay.

Course. It's fine.

I can't believe you did this.

I know.

Oh, yes, and Mum helped.

I bought the invitations.

I had nothing to do
with choosing the location.

Mum, it's where they met.

Uh, well,
happy anniversary, Alim.

Well, I do
wish I'd known.

I'd have gone
home and changed.

You missed a spot.

Hnnh!

Yeah.

Now we can rest.

No, not yet.
There's too much to do. Get up.

Nothing left to do.
We've done everything.

Came from Mombasa
without a cent.

Worked hard,
raised our son.

Took all their shit.

Enough classical music, okay?

Yeah.

Remember?

No, Hassan, I...
Ach...

Finally, after everything
they put us through,

-it's over.
-Hmm?

We have money
in the bank,

and our son's
getting married.

Oh, our son, the dentist

is getting
married, hey?

Nothing can
touch us now.

We've won.

Won? Hm.

What have we won, eh?

We won.
Everything.

Listen to him.

Did you hear
that, Nuru? Won...

Nuru?

Nuru Jahan?

So tell me.

What exactly
are we celebrating?

It's our anniversary, Dad.

Well, yes, but
anniversary of what?

What your father
is asking is,

is it the anniversary
of the day you met,

or the day you
moved in together,

or what?

Um...

What.

I'm going to
get a drink.

Salaam Alaikum.

What?

Isn't that how you say it?

What are you doing?

Resting.

Come on,
I thought you wanted a drink.

How about a mimosa
for my little samosa?

This is the Ramrod,
not the Rainbow Room.

Mmm, yes, and on that note,
you and Giles really need

to come up with another location
for your first meeting.

Can you imagine?

Giles' mother at the Ramrod?

Imagine my mom here.

Yeah, well,
your mother's different.

She's Muslim.
From the Third World.

She wouldn't understand.

I'm Muslim.
I'm from the Third World.

But you're a sophisticated,
elegant young man.

Looking marvelous, by the way.

Let's undo this button.

Only the truly stylish

can manage
rumpled elegance.

Go on. Show them.

What?

Oh...

Oh, dear.

Nuru, what is it?

It's okay.

She's crying
tears of joy.

She's overcome
with happiness.

Is that right, Nuru?

Are you crying tears of joy?

Are you overcome with happiness?

I-- I want...

I want...

three kinds of pulao.

Look what that boy's
driven her to.

A poor, lonely widow
sobbing into a duck.

-Swan. This is a swan.

All that "finding himself"
nonsense. In England?

Nuru, did you
"find yourself" in England?

They don't even take showers.

Sitting in the bathtub
in your own filth.

What are you going to find?

It's time for the boy
to come home.

Enough.

No, Dolly, it's not enough.

Nuru...

Alim's been slipping away
since he was born.

When he was a baby,
he learned "bye-bye"

before he learned
"hello," remember?

Khaled, go inside.
Your auntie's not well.

Auntie, if you want to go
to London to see Alim,

I can buy you a ticket,
any time.

Tonight, if you want.

Khaled, please.

No, Dolly.

It's my...

It's my turn to win now.

Time-- Time for me to win.

First time I saw him,

he was dancing
to this song.

You're very lucky.

You know what's the matter
with you, Giles?

What?

Nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

Oh, babe.

He and his fiancée
both adore me.

They love it
when I come and visit.

She worships me.

Even though my son puts
my every happiness

above hers, huh?

-Are you going to eat that?
-No.

Gay. Gay. Sex.

Sex. Gay.

Over there.

Now, there's no reason to worry.

Everything is under control.

Oh, so this is what
"under control" looks like?

Gay. Gay. Gay.

Oh, Perk Up Your Pecs.

Gay.

What do I do
with Giles' clothes?

In the guest room.

Then Giles brings them
back in here.

Oh, Alim, you're still
a child.

We pretend the guest room
is Giles' room.

He kindly moves out
to make room for Nuru.

Presto, you two
get to sleep together.

Gay... Gay.

Maybe I should just tell her.

No, no. Big mistake.

Think of Charade.

I had to pretend
to be Peter, Adam and Alex

before I could reveal
I was Brian and get the girl.

It's just--
This is not fair to Giles.

Well, Giles will do anything
for you,

move mountains.

He adores you.

Alim...

He's not seeing other men
anymore, is he?

All that stopped.

Just as I said
it would.

Your mother doesn't
deserve to be told.

She hasn't earned it.

She abandoned you.

That was all a long time ago.

Yes, well, not for my money.

Right.

Gay.

Ooh, gay.

This has to go.

I can't believe
we're doing this.

She'll leave in a few days.

Look, why don't I spend
some time with her?

Take her out sightseeing?

Maybe while you're
on set,

I could
take a day off.

Let her get to know me.

Absolutely not.

She's been here before.

Secretarial college
or something.

Leaving you all alone.

Just a little child.

She hated London.

Welcome, Ma.

Hello, beta.

So...

what do you think?

You don't own
the whole house.

No.

Just the first-floor flat.

Ah.

The house that Khaled bought

Dolly Auntie and Hassan Uncle

has bushes
shaped liked animals.

A duck, a swan and a deer.

I should have worn
something else.

I think we look swell.

Sorry?

Oh.

Hello.

Uh, Ma, this is Giles, my...

roommate.

How do you do?

It is a pleasure
to meet you.

It was all so confusing.

Then I couldn't find
the chauffeur you sent.

You sent a chauffeur?

How did these people
ever rule the world?

No one would help me
with my bags.

I tell you, these English people
can be so rude and unhelpful.

I'm sorry.
She's...

No, no,
she's got an edge.

I like her,

and she's so beautiful.

Yeah.

You don't have a picture
of the Aga Khan?

He likes her.

Yes, well, your people
do have a fondness

for the brassy broads,
don't they?

Um, would you like
some more cake?

Alim says you have
a real sweet tooth.

Actually, I'm on a diet.

-Why? You look great.
-No, I don't.

-I think you do.
-No. I don't.

It's the shoes.

They're new.

I have to go.

I'll put your things
in Giles' room, Ma.

No, no.
It's too much.

Giles doesn't mind.

Really, it's not a problem.

And...it'll be fun
bunking with Alim.

No.

No, I'll take your room.

It's one thing
to bother a family member,

but a complete stranger?

I like being bothered.

And Giles' room
only has a single bed.

It's too small for both of us.

So you'll sleep on the sofa.

It's time for me
to take my pills.

For my heart.

Um, I have that meeting.

Oh, you work?

Of course he works.

Giles is an economist.

As long as
it pays the rent.

He works for UNICEF.

My nephew is a dentist.

My brother-in-law has
three dry cleaning shops.

Ah, it was delightful
to meet you, Nuru.

How about you give me
a hand with the luggage

-before you go?
-Absolutely.

It's all
coming back to me.

Oh!

Uh...

You're in here now.

How about
I cook something tonight, hmm?

We thought
we'd do something.

What do you do?

Alim's a great cook.

His coconut chicken
is fantastic.

You want coconut chicken?

I'll make you coconut chicken.

Ah, well, I'll let
the two of you fight it out.

Bye, sweet--

By sweet mother of God,

look how clear
your cornea is.

Nice bit of improv.
The boy's got reflexes.

Is something wrong
with his eye?

Oh, uh, it's all
cleared up now.

Better go, Giles.
Getting late.

Ma, I have a fully stocked
and equipped kitchen.

I do.

-You have coconut?
-Yes.

Fresh coconut?

No.

But there's an Indian
supermarket nearby.

I'll need a nap first.

I'm not a machine.

That one.
That's the one.

Yeah, they really look
like they're in love.

Oh, not just in love,

but in-love-like
in-the-movies in love.

Look, Joanie Fontaine
in Suspicion has it.

See? That look.

What?

Thank you.

For what?

Everything.

My life.

What would I have done
without you?

Are you looking at photos
or watching the television?

You shouldn't waste energy,
beta.

Hmm?

Who invited her?

So when you
refused Khaled,

I thought, "This boy needs
a refresher course in manners

from his mother."

I have a busy life, Ma.

Too busy for family?

Nothing is more important
than family.

They'll be there for you
when nobody else will have you.

It's just,
I'm on this big film, and...

Oh, yes, you're very important.

It's a £20 million film.

I'm only teasing, Alim.
I know you're busy.

Laughter is the best medicine,
beta, hm?

Then I guess I must be
in the placebo group.

You remember
my friend Zera?

Her daughter Mumtaz
is all grown up now.

Oh, no.

Oh, it's true,
she's not a great beauty,

but she has a heart
as big as a pig,

and she's in computers.

No, Ma. No.

You think
you're too good for her.

You and your
placebo group.

All this pretense.
I'm too old for all this.

You say pretense
like it's a bad thing.

Personally, I think this truth
business is overrated.

Don't be ridiculous.

Sorry?

The mangoes are fabulous.

From Pakistan. The best.

Tell me, where
are you from?

Linnell Road,
just around the--

No, no.

Originally.

Actually, I grew up in Canada.

No, originally.

Where were you born, son?

-What difference--?
Mombasa.

Kenya.

I'm from Malindi.

Yeah, I know your people.

That nose can only
belong to one family.

Giles, sorry I'm late.

Look who I ran into.

Hi.

Hello.

I-- I'm sorry, do we...?

It's Alisdair Keith.

From school.

You remember?

He looks exactly
the same, only...

bigger muscles.

Well, I'm devastated.
I remember you.

Alisdair's a swimmer now.
He was at the Olympics.

Finished third
in the 400...

or fourth
in the 300

or something,

and then--
Then he won a gold medal.

Really?

Uh, in the relay.

I always perform better
with other guys.

So...
shall I get us some coffees?

-Lattés?
-Great.

You and your mango-
pickle sandwiches.

You know, beta,
if you moved home,

I'd make you mango-pickle
all the time.

-So why don't you?
-Uh...

Well, he must have
thought something.

He left
his bloody number.

So I was flirting
with him.

He's a sexy guy,

and I'm a living,
breathing,

active sexual being.

You nicked all
the good genes.

But I love Alim.

I know you do.

I love him so much
I'm in the closet.

Oh, look,
birds of paradise.

Alim adores them.
Get these.

The flowers are for Nuru.

You could also come work
for Hassan Uncle.

I'm an assistant manager now
at the Don Mills branch.

Oh, I tell you,

the world of fabric care
is a rich, complex world.

I'm a photographer, Ma.

In Toronto, you could
have your own home.

I have a home.

Well, it's
an apartment.

And you have to share.

How will you attract
a nice, professional girl

when you're living
with a lodger?

You're certain
I won't be intruding?

-Thank you, darling.
-Of course not.

Dee, you're gonna love her.

Well, if she's anything
like Alim.

I won't mince words, Alim.

Neither of us
is getting any younger.

You're right.

Ma, you're absolutely right.

I'm a grown-up.

Alim...

And I'm not with Giles
because of the money--

You do it
because you want to.

Yes.

I understand.

You do?
-It can be so very lonely

when you're all alone
in the world.

I, of all people,
understand this.

Let's just quit
while we're ahead.

Ma, I didn't explain right.

I am not all alone.
I'm in a relationship.

Hello.

Nuru...

I'd like you
to meet my sister.

-This is Delia.
-Hello.

Hello, hello. So nice.

She loves a good curry,
and I was just wondering

if she could join us
for dinner.

What do you mean
you're in a relationship?

You told her!

Everyone knows but me?

A little less
congratulation,

a little more information.
I know I'm only the mother--

Alim was-- We were concerned
about how you'd handle it.

Handle it?

Who could this
frightening creature be

who I can't handle?

Well, the creature's
not frightening.

It's-- It's--
It's just--

Delia!

-We're engaged.
-Oh...

Giles, you just said dinner--

No. No, you're not engaged.

Yes, Ma, I am.

You can't be.

Why?

Because she's not...

-What?
-She's not...

mmm...

is she?

She's not...mmmm...

Mmm...?

Mm--? Oh...Muslim.

Ah!

She's not mmm-ale,
either.

You're right, Ma, she's not.

And you know what?
Neither am I.

No, I'm not.
I'm not gonna pretend.

It was very nice
meeting you both.

I hope we meet
again one day.

When there isn't a knife
plunged into my heart.

I'm-- I, uh...

I-I just mean
I don't believe in God.

Oh, good. The knife
has company.

I'll be leaving
in the morning.

Fabulous exit.

Do my feelings matter
in any of this?

Not so fabulous exit.

I am so sorry
to drag you into this.

Oh, it's all right.

My fiancé's a gay man.
I'm not.

Just another special moment
that makes my life mine.

Come on. Cheer up.

It was a bit messy,
but we got there in the end.

He wanted me
to come out to her.

And you did.

About being
a heathen.

In the end,

it's what's best
for you and Giles.

My, she was yare.

The True Love?

-Mmm...
-Where did you--?

I found her
in one of the boxes.

Remember the fun we had
building her?

And sailing her.

Mmmm.

So easy to handle.

Quick to the helm.
Fast. Bright.

And you were
a good little sailor,

once you got over
your seasickness.

I was just a little kid.

You were a great little kid.

Katie did her own stunts
in The Philadelphia Story,
didn't she?

Why, it's a model
of theTrue Love.
What?

A boat he designed
and built.

Sailed he down the coast
of Maine and back

the summer
we were married.

-"My, she was yare."
-My, she was yare.

"Yare?"
What's that mean?

It means, uh,
oh, what does it mean...

easy to handle,
quick to the helm,

fast, bright--

All right, look, I need numbers.

Is it you,
is it you and Alim,

or is it you and Alim
and this...brain surgeon?

I didn't say she was
a brain surgeon.

Hmm...

It's all a little
unsure right now.

Honestly...

The eggs are fantastic.

That's nice.
I made them for Alim,

but never mind.

There's loads left over.

That's right.
My son will eat the leftovers.

He likes cornflakes
in the morning anyway.

Yes, and custard power
and Bisto gravy.

First you, then Delia,
now Battenberg cake.

Nuru, look,

I'd really like it
if we could be friends.

I have my friends, thank you.

All the positions
have been filled.

If there is a vacancy
in the near future,

I'll be sure
to get in touch.

Thank you very much
for applying.

Never heard that before?

Not part of your culture, is it,
Mr. Egg-stealer?

I'm sorry, I just assumed
the eggs were for everybody.

You people always do.

Eggs, India, Africa,
Middle East.

What's going on?

What are you doing?

I'm yachting.
On my yacht.

Out late last night?

We single, unengaged fellows
like to do that.

You were up late too, Alim.

Where'd you go?

Out for a drink
with a friend of Delia's.

Alisdair Keith.
You know, the swimmer?

That movie you were
watching last night.

You shouldn't watch
such rubbish, beta.

It's not rubbish.

The Philadelphia Story
is a classic.

I don't know.

The poor mother.

You've seen
The Philadelphia Story?

Those trousers are a bit tight,
aren't they, beta?

The pants are fine.

The trousers are not fine.

I can read your...
credit card number.

I'll wear what I want.

It's my life.

Yes, but I
gave it to you,

and if you want
to give me grandchildren

to play with, then...

Ma, you're not gonna have
grandchildren to play with.

-Why not?
-Because I'm...

You're leaving my house,
remember?

You won't be around to play
with your grandchildren.

What now?

Oh, nothing.

Don't mind me.

Go forth. Breed.

Breed a dynasty.

I thought he'd never leave.

Now, beta,
I've been thinking,

and I've decided I'll stay.

Tell your Delia
to come for dinner.

You want Delia--?

Well, if she's going to be
my daughter-in-law,

we have to bond, hm?

Bond?

After all,
she can always convert.

She's not a surgeon, is she?

Oh, never mind.

First, let her come for dinner.

I made your favorite.
Eat!

Ma, why would Delia
come to dinner after yesterday?

Well, if she cannot handle
a bit of drama,

she won't fit into our family,
will she?

Does Giles have to be here?

He lives here.

Can't he
go somewhere?

I find him
too familiar.

After all,
he's a total stranger.

Strangers should be more...
strange.

He's not a stranger, Ma...

and Delia isn't my fiancée.

I have no intention
of getting married,

or having kids,

or moving back
to Toronto.

I lied to get you off my back.

Because you just
won't ever let up.

I see.

This is how
you talk to your mother.

Excuse me, please.

Oh, I forgot.

Your horrible mother made you
mango-pickle sandwiches...

for your lunch.

I don't see why we couldn't
have Delia as your fiancée

for just a little longer.

Such fun.

You said Ma would go.

Well, she's not.

I had to do something.

And you did.

You told the truth.

Documentary approach.

Interesting strategy.

Need to be a little
careful with it,

but you used it well.

Are you all right?

My life is just a soiled,
tattered tissue

tossed into the toilet of life.

What will I do now?

You could write poetry.

Please. Don't bother.

I don't need your charity.

Wait.

I'm-- I'm sorry. I...

Why don't we start again.

Let me take you around London.

I have a light day.

No, I've seen it all.

That was years ago.

Nothing's the same.

Come on.

You deserve a little fun.

I carried him

for the nine hottest months
in the history of Kenya.

Practically
broke my back.

Only 19 years old,

my breasts already
like mangoes

at the end of stockings,

and now he doesn't
want his mother?

Tell me, what was
in it for me?

Oh, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean...

You'll love it. Really.

By the way,

you're glowing.

So lovely.

I'm rather relieved he's not
marrying this Delia person.

Oh, she's your sister,
I'm sorry. I didn't--

It's all right.

I really did like her.

A little thin.

Nice green eyes.

That complexion
like milk,

that touch of pink.

What do you call that,
peaches and milk?

Peaches and cream.

Cream. Right, yeah.

Anyway, I'm
lactose intolerant.

Alim's not.

I always wanted
a suit like that.

Then I think we should
go in and try it on.

No, no, no.

Yes. Today is your day.

-Come on.
-No.

Let's pretend.

You look lovely.
Come along.

The city is yours.

Thank you.

The suit looks great.

Doris Day wore a suit
just like this

in That Touch of Mink.

When I first came to London,

I tried to make one
just like it.

I looked like a clown.

Such a junglee I was.

Well, I think it looks lovely
on you now.

Although I think
it's more Audrey Hepburn

than Doris Day.

If only you'd said that
23 years ago.

Well, I was 7.

I don't even think

I knew who
Audrey Hepburn was then.

Of course not.
No, Giles.

Alim wouldn't want his mother
drinking like this.

But, on the other hand,
if no one told him...

Back from lunch
in half an hour, please.

You know, when I make
pickle sandwiches...

the insides always
seep out when I eat them,

and then my fingers
smell like pickle

for the whole day.

Well, if you must eat pickle...

But when she
makes them,

everything somehow
stays in place.

Yes.

I've never thanked her
for the sandwiches.

Come on.

We don't have
much time.

Shall we?

Can Nuru do this?

Come on.

-No.

-I've forgotten how to dance.
-I know how.

Men like you always know.
You come built that way.

Actually, Alim's the one
who taught me properly.

-Alim?
-Mm-hm.

Come on.

Alim taught you this?

Who taught Alim?

Good evening.

Could I have
a champagne cocktail?

What?

Prepare.
The mummy returns.

Hello!

You two were out
together?

Do you get FM
with that hairdo?

We did a little
sightseeing.

I used to love that film.

You know this movie?

I'm a person of the world.

A person of the world

is allowed to see
An Affair To Remember.

They've been out whooping it up,
the two of them.

You're drunk?

She's drunk, Giles.

I am not drunk.

Water.

Giles, thank you.

-It was a lovely day.
-It was my pleasure.

-Oh, please.

Well, well, Rock and Doris.
Together again.

Cary and Doris.

Come on.

Dance with me.

They've been dancing.

You went dancing too?

Get up.

Oh, dear.

Seems we've made contact
with your inner child.

You haven't made contact

with my inner
anything lately.

And that's my fault?

I'm clearly not middle-aged
woman enough for you.

You are bonkers.

She likes me.

I like her.

It's... It's good for us.

This is not the relationship
I signed up for.

Good night, Nuru.

Good night.

I want my life back.

Hmm.

I'm going to tell her
about Giles and me.

Alim, we've discussed this.

You've got to be very careful
with this truth business.

You know it can rise up
and bite you on the-- Nuru!

Ah, where are you off to?

For a dip
with a friend.

See that you don't get
too muscular.

He's going swimming.

He never stops.
At this time.

I heard.

I'll wait
till you're done.

-No, I'm done.
-I'm not.

You should go
swimming with Giles.

I go to the gym.

What do you
do at the gym?

I pump iron.

You don't even pump
your own petrol.

Please don't leave me
with her like that.

What's that?

I wanna show you something.

You see that spot
on the wall there?

Well, this photograph
used to hang there,

and we took it down
before you came,

and you know why?

Something
you didn't want me to see?

That's right.

Something
for boys only?

I want to show it to you anyway.

Oh, there's no need.

Boys will be boys,
I understand.

I really want to.

It's not anything racy, is it?

No whips or midgets
or that M&M's business.

It's a photo of Giles.

Oh, my. It certainly is.

And...

I took it.

I see.

What to do?

Not enough air pushing through
the windmills of her mind.

I've ordered a cab.

Alim, they're... They're evil.

Cabs?

Those movies you watch.

They've led you down
the wrong path.

You don't know
what you're talking about.

Don't I?

They're made for the goras,
not for us.

What's going on?

I hope you had a good laugh
at my expense.

I'm sorry?

Alim, where's she going?

I can't believe
you did that.

Nice swim?

I can't believe

you just hit her
over the head with it.

You wanted me
to tell her.

Yeah, but not
like that.

You should have let me
talk to her.

We were getting along
really well.

When she thought
you were straight.

It's not that simple.

I'm afraid it is.

She's a Muslim woman
from the Third World.

She's what?

You keep forgetting
that she's not like me.

You have to shift
your expectations--

So, what you're really saying

is that she's just
an ignorant Paki?

I wouldn't have put it
quite like that.

No, I think you would've
if you could...

but she's your mother,

and if she's just a Paki,
then what does that make you?

Rise and shine.

It's almost noon.

Leave me alone.

Oh, for heaven's sake,

how much longer
are you going to pout?

Giles will come around.
He'll never leave you.

He's taken his clothes.

He's taken his bathing costume.

He's gone,

and she's gone.

Oh, well, that's what we wanted,

and to think, it was the truth
that got rid of her.

What do I know?

Yeah, what do you know?

I'm alone,
and I don't know why.

Oh, Alim, you're not alone.

I'm here.

I've always been here.
I'm always going to be here.

Know what I think?

We need a holiday.

Yes.

Bermuda, or the Greek islands.

You'll see.

Mmm! Nuru. Nuru.

I have just three words
for the pheasant samosa:

fab-u-lous.

Nuru. Come here.
Come here.

Please, have a taste.

It is like ambrosia. Mm?

Nuru...

Pheasant samosas.

Nobody's had
pheasant samosas.

Sherubai did,
at her daughter's--

Chicken.
That was chicken.

It's not too late to upgrade.

Mind you,
pheasant is more expensive.

Expense is not a problem.
My son is minting money.

Excuse me,
exactly how expensive?

-Explain it to me
as if I'm an imbecile.

Well, I'll try
and stretch my imagination.

If you'll
follow me, please.

So embarrassing.

Come on, I'm going
to show you

where the mukhi will do
the ceremony, hmm?

Nuru, you'll
ruin your figure.

I'm just excited.

I nibble
when I'm excited.

Oh, yeah, excited,
happy, sad,

swimming, breathing...

Honestly.
Come on, let's go.

I don't consider Toronto
a holiday destination.

So are you visiting
or heading back home?

-I'm going back home.
-Mmm.

But I'm visiting.

So you're from
Toronto originally?

-Kenya?
-Mmm.

Well, my ancestors
are from India.

Well, I, uh... I grew up
in Canada, but...

Are you gonna eat that?

Do you have any idea

what sweatpants
say to the world?

They say,
"I'm not trying anymore."

And they would be correct.

What happened
to you in England?

Nothing.

It was fine, I told you.

There's no surgeon, is there?

An economist...for UNICEF.

Oh. Well, I suppose
it pays the rent.

Eh?

-Hello.
-Thank you.

The Chocolate
Of The Month Club

made another delivery.

I put it in your apartment.

Thanks.

Why does this man

have keys to
your apartment?

No, no. I'm the janitor.

Who gets the present
at Eid every year.

I've never given you
an Eid present.

Yes...

So when is Alim
going to tie the knot

with this UNICEF
woman, hmm?

I tell you, I'm ready to
organize another wedding.

Why don't I make
Rice Krispie squares?

Oh, we just ate.

Not Rice Krispie
squares.

Nuru, I'm full.

He should marry soon, hey?

Look at that.

-Nuru Jahan?
-Hm?

What's the matter?

You're not telling me something.

She didn't tell you what
a wonderful time we had?

Alimoo!

Well, you've come
for the wedding, then?

Um, yeah.

I knew you were
hiding something.

So it was
a good trip, then?

Oh, look at you.

You are still my cute
little bunny, hmm?

So where is she?

She?

Mumtaz,
your fiancée?

Mumtaz, my fiancée...

She couldn't come.

She was busy working.

At UNICEF.

I'm glad I came.

Yes, me too.

I love Toronto.

Did time always
drag here like this?

Can you believe it?

She still keeps plastic
on the furniture.

Keeps the evil fresh.

Alim, your bed is made.

Now you'll have to lie in it.

Thanks.

I hope this isn't
inconvenient.

This is your home.

Khaled is having
his stud night later.

He'd like you to come.

Stag night.

Alim, why did you come home?

Well...

After you left,
Giles left,

and he said these
things to me, wh--

I'm sorry.

No, you're not.

Come to the ceremonies
tonight.

If you don't come,
there will be more questions,

and I will have
to make up stories.

You're here. Let's try
and make the best of it.

It would mean
so much to everyone.

That's your uncle.

He's a leaner.

Whoa, whoa,
hold your horses, Alimoo.

This party isn't
for us men.

Uncle, I want to see.

This one is from
Chakra Shani Jewelers, mm?

No, I'm keeping that
for later.

And this one's come
all the way from Char Nachna.

And the diamonds
and the emeralds

are from South Africa.

Now, that's a rock that would
have impressed even Mae West.

Good children never really
leave home, do they, hmm?

I was just telling that
to my class.

I give little workshops
on family relations.

You should come, beti, eh?

It's a flower-
arranging class.

Oh!

Don't listen.

They think
it's a flower-arranging class.

Nice, huh?

Yeah. It's very nice.

After this,
we go back to our place

to do pithi
and mendhi.

What?

You've not been
to a wedding?

Not an Ismaili wedding.

Oh. Hmm.

Wait. Wait,
that's not true.

You were at my wedding.

Just a year-old cutie.

Projectile-vomiting all over
the place for five days.

Five days?

Is Khaled's
wedding gonna--?

No, no,
this is a different country.

We're sensible here.

Just three days.

No, no, not that one.

Dolly made it.

Have a laddu from the shop.

I remember your
parents' wedding.

Thank you.

It rained and rained,
but nobody cared.

I was best man to your father.

He was
a good man, Alim.

Simple, kind.

Couldn't help smiling that
big, silly smile of his.

Such a long time ago.

What's this?
What have I said?

Me and my big mouth.

No, it's-- It's nothing...

I just miss him.

But it's so stupid.
I mean, I didn't know him.

How could I miss him?

Of course
you knew him.

You were his little samosa.

I miss him too, beta.

But, look,

I have his son now,

all grown up,
keeping me company.

I've missed you.

I'm glad you came, Alim.

We rub this into his skin.

What's in it?

-Better not to ask, eh?
-It's for good luck.

To make the groom
all fragrant

on his wedding day, hmm?

Alim, why are you
standing there

with your bag,
like a stranger?

Well, it's my camera bag.
I thought as a present I'd--

But...

Here we go, here we go.

Okay, Alim, now you.

I'll be doing it
to you soon.

No, no, no,
take more.

Use both hands.
Really get him dirty.

I'll put my bag
away first.

Nuru, your turn.
Come. Come.

Quite the shindig.

It's a bit like
the champagne party

before the wedding
in The Philadelphia Story,

isn't it?

But with saris.

What, not taking
photographs?

No. You miss everything
when you take pictures.

Mmm...

Pretty swanky joint
for Toronto.

Khaled bought it for them.

Look, just because

you haven't bought
your mother a house doesn't--

I know.

It's very clear that
everyone's proud of you.

You just imagine
these things sometimes.

You might want
to adjust

the collar of
that shirt a bit.

Only the most elegant
young men--

Nice mirror.

Yes...

Are you having
a nice time?

Yeah.

Good. I'm glad.

You beckoned?

Date from hell.

Complete waste of makeup.

Shit.

You wanted to start
shagging around again,

and now
you're doing it.

There's no need
to slag off Alim.

I forgot that you
fancied Alisdair.

It's got nothing
to do with that.

You know,
I can't blame you.

He's physically amazing.

You know, those thighs, that--
That ass.

Yes, yes, he's a statue
in bloody Lycra.

No, he's amazing, you know.

It's not just physically.
He knows who he is.

And Alim doesn't?

No more brown-on-the-outside,

white-on-the-inside coconuts
in my life.

Oh, for God's sake.

What does that make you, then?

A...yogurt-covered raisin?

Hey...

It's my stag later.

Why don't you
come along.

Thanks, but I'm really tired.

Jet lag.

Okay.

Khaled...

You're happy...

aren't you?

Sure.

Why?

I'm doing what's expected of me.

What I expect of myself.

Well...

I'll see you tomorrow,
Mr. Married Guy.

It's been
a long time.

Yeah. Too long.

Don't forget to say goodbye
to my mom and dad, hmm?

You're a good Ismaili boy now.

This is what we do.

This stuff good for you?

Sure, and it's got a little toy.

Want something that's gonna
give me some energy.

Alisdair's coming round later.

It is later.

No, he's still on his date.

Honestly...

Yes, it's all very casual,
very loose.

And loose is good?

It feels good.

What's the harm in that?

It's you.

Where does she keep
the booze?

I don't think she has any.

Where is she?

Oh, they're at the house...

still cleaning up.

It's like an orgy
of cleaning over there.

Shouldn't you
be asleep?

Today's the big day.

Yup...

and after that...

And after that,
it becomes adultery.

Won't that be exciting?

Oh, come on, you never used
to fight me before.

You were never
getting married before.

Just because I bought a cow
doesn't mean I like milk.

Yeah, what a sensitive analogy
to holy matrimony.

Look, we were kids.

We fooled around,
but let's move on.

Everyone's always down
on you, Alim,

bitching about you.

Not me, though.

I stick up for you.

See how I stick up for you?

Oh, Alim.

Okay. Okay.
Let's start again.

How about a kiss, hmm?

What would it take
to get a little kiss?

Chloroform.

I'm in love with someone else.

Yeah, I heard
about the brain surgeon.

No, his name is Giles.

You're in love
with a guy?

You don't
love men, Alim.

Fuck 'em, by all means, but...

Hey, he's just in it
for the squirt.

I bet he doesn't
love you.

I love him.

It's just not normal.

Hey, if you're normal,
count me out.

Look at you.

A closet drunk, closet queer.

Name a closet,

you're hanging there.

Don't play high and mighty
with me.

Anyone can run away
and play gay in limey-town.

Yeah, who can even tell
who's a fag over there?

You ever think
about your mother?

Are you thinking about Nina
with your fly undone like that?

Auntie...

Uh, we were just--

I know what you were doing.

Auntie, it's not
what you were imagining.

I'm not imagining, I'm seeing.

I'm not--

I have a fiancée, remember?

Your mother has
a baby grand piano.

She can't play a note, either.

Good one.

Well, I, uh,
better be going.

You know what's
the matter with you?

What?

Your upper abs.

We should do
some crunches later.

Tighten them right up.

I'm sorry.

You didn't do
anything wrong.

No, no.

I'm sorry you had
to see that.

It must have
been a shock.

Yes.

I'm not completely
backwards.

I know about
men with men.

I subscribe
to Reader's Digest.

Khaled is just--

No, not Khaled.

I didn't know
about you and Giles.

I didn't know
that you had such...

feelings for him.

Really, I had--
I had no idea.

No idea at all.

Here's the beep.
You know what to do.

Hi. It's me.

Um, remember how you said

you'd never been to Canada,

or met my family, or...

Well, whatever.

I-- I was just wondering

whether you wanted to come...

to Canada.

You know, for the wedding?

What's the matter?

Couldn't get
ahold of him.

-Who?
-Giles.

Probably out buying you
a little "I'm sorry" present.

I thought we might enjoy
Gunga Dintogether.

Set in India, you know.

Has Indians in it.

Your kind of Indians,
not the John Wayne kind.

How about it, hmm?

Ooh, this is...

Mmm... All for a nice
little elephant girl.

Oh, this is lovely,
lovely, lovely.

See that elephant?
The worst breath.

Even worse
than Irenie Dunne.

I'm going to
iron my sari

for the wedding.

You're still going to go?

For Dolly
and Hassan's sake.

If you have anything
that needs ironing...

I didn't bring a suit.

Maybe your father's suit
would fit you. Hmm?

But you're busy.

No, no.
This isn't important.

Good.

Come.

I used to love that film.

I took you to see all the Cary
Grant films, do you remember?

Cary Grant,
Doris Day.

The Naz Cinema in Mombasa.

They used to play all of them.

Years after they were made.

We didn't know.

I so wanted to be like the girls
in those films.

I went to London
because of them.

You went to take
a secretarial course

so you could support us.

I went to London...
to be Doris Day.

Your father passed away
in his sleep.

I woke one morning,
and I knew without looking.

Everything had become so still.

Everything in me became still.

Even my feelings
for my little boy.

For weeks, I just--

I felt nothing.

Then one afternoon,
I went to a film.

Suddenly, there was a way out.

Suddenly, I could be Doris Day

flying off to a new
life in London.

Trouble is,

London wasn't interested
in any Indian Doris Days.

Then or now.

I wish it was
different,

but it wasn't.

That little
accusing face.

When I came back,

you wouldn't talk to me
or anyone.

You'd laugh and play
with your invisible friend...

...but nothing for me.

Just that little
accusing face

with your father's
hurt chin.

We'll catch the morning
flight to London.

:
Hello?

Hi. It's me.

I got your message.

Oh, yeah?

I-- I just thought,
you know...

I was very pleased
to get your message.

Yeah?

Seems like you're really
enjoying Toronto.

I'm glad.

I'm really happy

you've made peace with
that part of your life.

Hello?

Just because you order
extra-hot at Flaming Tandoori

does not make you
anything other

than a sanctimonious,
toffee-nosed,

lily-assed tosser.

Oh, it's the oldest
story in the book.

Boy meets boy.

Boy loses boy
and goes to Toronto.

Boy gets back together
with boy in London

for a happy ending.

Well, maybe not
the oldest story--

Stop it.

There's not gonna be
a happy ending,

and there's nothing
you or I can do about it.

Today's the big day.

Yes, but the taxi
hasn't arrived yet.

I'll go and call one.

Really?

Thanks. So kind.

You're Alim?

You're very lucky
to have a mother like her.

She's quite the woman,
if you don't mind my saying so.

It all looks perfect.

Hello.

Hello, Dolly.

What?

What? What is it?

Don't I look all right?
What's the matter?

Nothing's the matter.

Is there?

Of course not. What could be
the matter? Today's my big day.

Is something smudged? Hmm?

Will you tell me.
Don't I look all right?

Auntie, you look fine.

Maybe just a bit tense?

This is not tense.

I'm just terribly,
terribly alert.

Oh, here's Khaled.

The mukhi should be here soon.

I'll go and see him.

Dolly...

Excuse me.

Do you think
I should say something?

What...?

What is it?

Excuse me.

Actually, Dolly,

there is something I want
to talk to you about.

Now, which one is she?

Who?

Alim's girl.

The lucky so-and-so

got himself
a neuro-brain surgeon.

He brought her,
didn't he?

Well, he wanted to,
but...

Actually,

-there's a funny story
about that.
-Yeah.

Pfft!

Why are you
dressed like that?

Well, I wasn't
really sure.

It's an Indian wedding,
so I thought--

You thought what?

Well...India.

And...she dropped the scalpel
inside the rabbi's tummy.

Oh, that's
not funny,

that's a malpractice suit,

and what's this,
uh, tummy business?

I thought
she was a brain surgeon?

Excuse me.

I have a dry throat.

I guess I need some punch.

Excuse me.

I can see why
you wanted to come.

It's like Oscar night
out there.

No, more like
the spoils of a maharajah.

Gunga Din?

Yes!

How about an elephant ride
across the Rajasthani Desert?

Just stop it, Cary.

Nuru?

Warm in here, isn't it?

It's all right, Nuru.

I know.

Know what?

About Alim.

Our room used to be
next to Khaled's,

and, phew...

your boy's got quite
a set of lungs.

Oh, my God!

Exactly. Just like that.

And you let them?

I've always given Khaled
his freedom.

He's given me all this.

I don't see how you can go ahead
with the nuptials.

-What do you mean?
-Nuptials, that means--

I know what nuptials means.
My son's a dentist.

What about Nina?

She's marrying my son,
the dentist.

Look, I want grandchildren
and ice sculptures

and place cards,
and so do you, Nuru.

Don't pretend,

but if Khaled can do his duty,

there's no reason
why Alim can't. Hmm?

A happy ending
justifies everything, Alim.

I always do whatever it takes
to make you happy.

You don't understand
what makes me happy.

Of course I do.

It's you who've
forgotten.

Alim...

Alim!

Yes?

Is this the Lalani wedding?

Yes. Waiters go in the back.
You're very late.

Go change in the toilet,
quickly. Our secret.

I cannot be a witness
to this wedding.

I'll slip out.
Nobody will notice.

Everybody will notice.

Nuru, you're not going anywhere.

Now, don't play the perfect
mother with me.

You left your son,
and we picked up the pieces.

We will always
pick up the pieces.

We are family.

Rolex says 38 minutes,

and that caterer
is scary with numbers.

I'm not, uh...

Hassan must be drunk.

I knew we should have had
a cash bar.

Has there been
a hockey match?

Has Canada won?

Um, uncle,
this is Giles.

Oh, he's
a friend, then?

Yeah.
I hope it's all right.

Of course.

We have pheasant samosas
coming out of our ears.

-Not to worry.
Hassan. Very good party.

Hello.

It's good to see you.

I'm sorry.
I know. They're family.

What...?

Can't you stop them?

I'll go get a Coke.

Excuse me, why is Alim
kissing that man?

And what will
his fiancée,

the surgeon, think?

A-Alim may be
a lucky so-and-so,

but he shouldn't
push his luck.

Not a surgeon, Sheru,
an economist.

But Nina's still
a dentist.

An economist
for UNICEF.

It's not a she,
it's a he.

His name is Giles,
and this is him.

Hello.

And Giles, also,
is a lucky so-and-so.

Oh...

Oh, God.

How about we make
some mango-pickle sandwiches

when we get home?

Cary...

remember
in The Bishop's Wife,

you told David Niven

that an angel only leaves
when he's not needed anymore?

Yes.

It was a brilliant
plot device,

because it was
Loretta Young who--

Oh.

Oh, but, Alim,
you do need me.

You can't get along without me.

I made you what you are today.

I made you.

You can't go now.

You're my sister.

Nuru, please.

Think what everyone will say
if you leave now, hmm?

How does it look?

It looks beautiful, Dolly.

Just like you wanted...

but the flowers will brown,

and the ice sculptures
will melt,

and then what?

What, you think real life
is easy?

Is pleasant?

Well, I've got news
for you.

It's terrifying.

Terrible things happen.

Loss and pain and shame.

Terrible things,
loss and pain

-and shame--
-I know.

I remember.

Well, what if you
make a mess of things?

-What if--?
-I will,

but it's my only life, Cary,

and I need it to be mine.

Well, this is all a bit...

I don't know how I'll survive
without you, Alim.

I envy you.

Live...every moment of it.

Live it for me.

Hmm?

Hush, shh, shh, shh.
No more tears.

Be happy...
my little samosa.

Be happy.

Now, Giles,
this is your place too.

Make yourself at home
completely.

Clean my kitchen, if you want.

Well, thank you.

Ma, that's one
of those expressions

that doesn't really hold up
outside our family.

Really?

Alim said there was something
wrong with the toilet.

No, it's working all right.

I, um, must have
got it wrong.

You know, all this drama
at the wedding.

Alim told me.

As Mr. George Bernard Shaw
once said--

Or was it Mr. Gulbinder Shah
in apartment 1412?

I can never remember.
They're both so witty.

"For the mismatched,

"marriage is
a three-ring circus,

"The engagement ring,

"the wedding ring,

and the suffering."

Vah.

Vah.

Well, I'll just go
finish the sandwiches.

Let me help you.

No, no.

Not necessary.

I'm a very good cook.

My dumplings are legendary.

Well, all right.

You butter while I pickle.

-Hey, come on.

Giles...there's something
we should talk about.

Yes.

There's been another man.

I know.

You know?

Of course I know.
I was there.

Yeah, I-- I guess you were.

Look, if it's okay with you,

I'd just like
to put it behind us and move on.

Fresh start?

That would be great.

Let's just--
Let's just forget about it.

Well, not forget completely.

He's been useful to us.

Umm...

And it was fun sometimes.

Uh, yeah.

And he was so handsome.

You never met him.

But you did see him
on the telly.

-At the Olympics.

Oh. Him.

Yeah.

Alim, are we on
the same wavelength?

We are now.