All language subtitles for The.boys.S04E03.1080p.HEVC.x265-MeGusta[EZTVx.to]-eng

Fuck you!
- Starlight's right! Starlight's right!

Starlight's right! Starlight's right!

Starlight's right!
Starlight's right!

Starlight's right! Starlight's right!

Big round of applause

for the Samaritan's Embrace Boys Choir.

I'll tell you, these kids really are
a comfort in troubled times, aren't they?

Yeah. A time when this country

is facing the biggest threat
in its history,

Starlighters.

Starlight is right!

What do these crazies
want to do now?

They want to get rid of superheroes.

- You asshole!
- Get out.

They want to get rid of me.

No!

And then they want to replace you
with some godless,

non-binary socialists like them.

Their depraved
leader Starlight commands it.

String her up!

Love you, pal.

I love all of you.
And I love this country, so I am not

gonna let that happen.

The Seven is gonna fight back.

All right,

here they are,
the defenders of real Americans.

Yeah.

Deep, A-Train and Black Noir.

You're doing too much, pull it back.

And today is a very special day

because The Seven is getting
even stronger as we welcome

two new members.

Put your hands together for

Firecracker and Sister Sage.

Woo-hoo! Yeah!

You look great. Really suits you.

Welcome, ladies, welcome.

Well, as for that last spot, who knows?

But, actually, my son

he did stop those bank robbers
the other day.

Y-You saw that video, right?

So, let's just say I might be keeping
that last chair warm for him,

all right?

There's enough here
to take down a bull elephant.

Ten bull elephants.

I'm not taking any chances.

How you gonna get close enough to use it?

If I can get Ryan here,
I can dose him. You just be ready.

He's not gonna be real happy with us
when he wakes up.

Grace built the Hazlet Safe House

with the specific intention
of hot-boxing Supes.

- It'll hold Ryan.
- Not for long.

Then we better work fast.

Like when we deprogrammed
them two ISIL lads, eh?

And if he doesn't listen to us?

My son Ryan.

Then we keep him high
on Halothane till he does.

Now listen here, Joe,

we get Ryan's head clear,
and that's it, all right?

Nothing about training him up
to top Homelander.

So you've said.

I mean it, Joe.

Would you train your boy up
to be a killer?

Listen, brother, you don't trust me?

Go back to your team.

Oh. Wait.

Smile. Right now.

Ooh, there we go!

Did you know that these

"vaccines" that they're giving out

at the Starlight House
actually cause autism?

And-and not that cool Rain Man autism

that makes you good
at counting cards and shit.

- Her?
- Yeah.

- Really?
- Mm-hmm.

Seems like she fell off her Jet Ski
one too many times.

Mm-mm. Now that Starlight's back
leading the Starlighters, we need her.

Mm. That is gonna shut them up?

No. She's gonna make them louder.

Are you gonna trust me or not?

Is there a problem?

'Cause this is a huge day for you,

but you seem to have something
firmly lodged up your asshole.

This spandex is.

Up my ass and in a camel toe.

- Mm.
- The whole point was for me to stay behind the scenes.

You're clearly punishing me
for openly disagreeing with you,

which you said you could handle,
but clearly you can't.

- Do you really think I'd be that petty?
- Yes, I do.

I mean, did it occur to you

that it is harder to stage a fucking coup
with a million eyes on me?

Popularity is power, Sister.

It's a prison.

Listen, it's gonna be great. Okay?

You're a member of The Seven now.
You're a superhero.

Act like it.

Hey, how about a photo
with the new girl, guys?

Yeah, get in here.

- Front and center.
- Get in there.

- Make a sandwich out of her.
- Right there.

Like, if she really cared about women,

why push to let these transgenders
into the girls' bathrooms?

Because
she in no way represents

Vought's values.

Because we are
on the right side of history here.

I'm back.

Starlight is...

All pretty cut and dry.

Your mom has power of attorney,
and she has to execute your dad's wishes.

Right, but that-that directive
only applies to a vegetative state.

My dad's not a vegetable.

His doctor say so?

People wake up from comas all the time.

I'm sorry, Hughie.

There just really isn't anything
you can do legally.

You want my advice?

Just work it out with your mom.

Hey. What are you doing here?

We need to talk.

Um... Just give me one sec.

Hey, welcome to Starlight House.
Can I help you?

- Where are they?
- I'm sorry, who?

Where are the kids?
The ones in the basement.

- We don't have a basement.
- Bullshit.

Firecracker's onto you pedos.

What, are you selling Cheese Pizza?
C.P.? Child Porn?

Okay. Uh...

- Oh, my God.
- Stay back.

All right.

- I'm rescuing those kids.
- Call the police.

All right, all right.

Come on, now.

- Frenchie?
- The hell happened?

A friend of Firecracker's.

Un imbécile.

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Okay. So, how does a chemist

know how to disarm a guy
like Jason fucking Bourne?

I'd say more like Jean Reno

- in Léon.
- Never heard of it.

You're a thousand years old.

Okay. There.

You need me to kiss it better?

I'm fine.

Oh, Colin.

I can't.

You gonna knock me out, too?

We've got Berns and Sasha.

I don't care about our side, Mitch.

Tell me about the other side.

How many are still in Vought's pockets?

214 in the House.
43 in the Senate.

Fucking hell.

Sorry I'm late. Bob's office
must've forgotten to loop me in on this.

Glad you could make it, Vicky.

I read the new draft.
There seems to be an amendment.

Vought's been calling the shots
for too damn long.

Thanks to Starlight, folks are wising up.

The DOJ is filing antitrust charges,
but I say we take it a step further.

It's time we ban Supes

from the military, from private policing,

and all other government positions.
Don't you agree?

Of course. But, I mean,
we don't want to seem

as though we're prejudiced
against them either, so...

Supes are entertainers,
period, end of story.

So, shouldn't we take them off the streets

and put them back on The Masked Singer,
where they belong?

Absolutely.

No matter.

A Shining Light cell nearby.

How do you know?

Hughie helped me with the CIA Mainframe.

I'm a hacker now.

The therapist was right.

I need to face my past.

So I'm going to kill them all.

No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Absolute no. Bad.
This is a bad idea, very bad.

Shining Light is hurting kids.

Kids like me.

You need to come with me.

No questions. No hesitation.

Because I'm asking you.

When do we leave?

Um, just, uh...

- Just keep your arms up.
- Yeah.

I mean, you're 80% limbs.
Use 'em.

- Okay. Arms are up.
- Mm-hmm. Okay.

Ah, fuck, that was hard.

That was, like, 10% of hard.

Yo. These new Seven picks
make any goddamn sense to you?

I mean, Sage? Elon Musk

has more charm than she does,
and he's half-android.

I mean, Firecracker hates my guts

for some reason, but outside of that,
I don't get it.

- Something big is happening.
- Mm-hmm.

And we need help. Now, look,
I know y'all ain't gonna like this shit.

- I want to flip A-Train.
- What?

- You're joking.
- Fuck that.

We turn A-Train informant,

there's no bigger fish than him.

- Yeah, or he could murder you.
- He did help clear your Starlighters.

Guys, I know when
a motherfucker's wavering, okay?

And A-Train, he's right there, he's ready.

One guess what my problem
with this might be?

No. No.

- I think we should bring Butcher back.
- Fuck no.

And need I remind you
who still runs this operation.

I thought we all had a say.
I thought that was the point.

Hello?

You guys want to ask
before you just up and fuck off?

'Cause we are
on the right side of history here.

- I just think that I am living proof...
- Oh, God.

That America
is still the land of opportunity,

where a woman can make it
all the way to The Seven Tower

without blowing some dude to get there.

Lamplighter.
Crimson Countess.

Oi, Ryan.

Butcher?

Well, better me than some dodgy
incel hawkin' Voughtcoin.

My dad said
I'm not supposed to talk to you.

Hang on.
Hang on. Hang on.

Just-just give me 20 seconds.

Begin.

We need to talk.

- We're talking now.
- No, no, a-a proper catch up,

in real life, over at my place maybe.

Come on, don't make me play
the "six months to live" card.

I mean, if you had a "one month to live"
card, then that'd be something.

Nice one.
Reckon I deserved that.

Just please
think about it, all right?

That's all I ask.

And we will not be denied.

It is long overdue

for Vought and Homelander's power
to be curbed and regulated

because they do not have all the power.

We do.

I know that I...
that-that Starlight...

- Hey, boss?
- has been gone for too long.

- I just wanted to personally thank you for...
- We ll, today,

I can promise you, not anymore.

I'm back.

- Starlight is back.
- Fuckin' sexy-ass new suit.

Breathing the same air as Homelander.

- Yeah.
- S-Sorry, wh-wh... what?

Starlight! Starlight!

I just want you to know
that I will forever be

your most loyal servant.

- Okay.
- So, anything you need,

anything,

I mean anything.

- Anything.
- With Starlight reclaiming her role

- as leader of her grassroots movement...
- Anything.

And calls for increased
superhero oversight... - Anything.

- Okay.
- Okay? Good.

I studied
performing arts at Godolkin.

I did Cirque de Vought in Montreal.

You didn't hire me to stand around
like a fucking oak tree.

- What do you need?
- Some direction.

Look, I'm on an island here, okay?

I have questions,
but I'm not allowed to speak.

Like, Noir lives
in a ninja dojo apartment,

but, best I can tell,
he didn't know karate.

I need some intentionality here.

Is there, like, a playlist I can use
to get me inside his head?

- I don't think he listens...
- Shut the fuck up, Noir, and everyone take your seats.

Ashley, you can go.

Sorry, sir?

This is a meeting of The Seven,
and you're not a member.

But I'm always here. I...

Well, Sage is gonna
take over your workload.

For all intents and purposes,
she's the new CEO.

Am I getting fired?

- Course not.
- No.

Company still needs a figurehead
like Ronald McDonald or Buster Beaver.

Oh... I'm a mascot.

Exactly. A mascot.

Okay.

Okay.

Great.

Actually, Ashley. Uh...

there is one thing you can do for me.

Yeah?

Find Ryan, would you? Thanks.

Okay. Sure.

Shit.

Okay. So, Sage here has something
she would like to address with the gr...

You have got
to be fucking kidding me.

Is Noir sleeping?

Mm-hmm.

Oh, shit! Sorry, you guys.
I'm narcoleptic.

Oh, what the fuck?

Sage.

Few days ago, valuable surveillance
footage was taken from Crime Analytics

and given to Starlight...
Or some members of her team...

Clearing these two men
of murdering three Hometeamers.

Why is everybody looking at me?

Because it's your department.

Yeah, but I didn't do anything.

I'm gonna need a list of every employee

with access to the server room.

- And you are no longer in charge of Crime Analytics.
- What?

Good. Okay.

Moving on. What's next?

Reactions from today's
presentation are coming in.

Very positive. Ryan's received offers

from Teenage Kix...

- and Capes for Christ.
- Well, you know...

The Starlighters have started
a hashtag called RescueRyan.

Kevin?

Honey, is that you?

Yeah. It is.

Can you at least open the door
and look at me when we're talking?

What?

Notice anything?

My tank. You forgot to clean it
and now there's an algae bloom.

Sorry. All right?

You've been so distant lately,

and we haven't been intimate
in over a week.

You're working too hard.
Let's take a vacation.

My cousins live
on that reef off Nantucket...

Hey, how many times
do we have to go over this?

I can't just drop everything
and go on vacation, okay?

I have work.

At least let me spend some time
in the aquarium above your bed?

It's so dark in here.

Just... I can't, babe.

Are you embarrassed by me?

No, I'm not...
I'm not embarrassed by you, okay?

I've told you that. I'm... It's just...

You know, it's-it's too risky.

Just tell me what's wrong.

Mm? Yeah, I'm great.
Honestly, babe.

God, I've given him everything.

I haven't had a doctor's appointment
in three fucking years.

Countless UTis,

enough yeast infections to open a Panera.

I don't need this crap, you know?
I went to Vanderbilt!

Don't quote me on it, but
you should leave a floater in his toilet.

I did it to Suzanne, and...
you'd be surprised how satisfying it felt.

Did I give you permission to talk,
you fucking prom night dumpster baby?

I'm gonna finally do it.

I am finally gonna fucking quit.

Disney's been trying
to recruit me for years,

and I am a goddamn girlboss.

Now... who wants their balls crushed?

Me?

Yeah.
I've got Connect 4,

and LEGO.

Plus, a special
little something just for you.

Your mum's recipe.

World-famous, some say.

Mom used to bake them every year
for my birthday instead of cake.

But... no, thanks.

- Really?
- I'm not hungry.

All right. Maybe later, then.

Fancy a game?

It's nothing.

I'm fine.

Butcher...

Are you... scared?

Scared of what?

To die, I mean?

I'm all right with it.

You're lying.

I can tell when you're lying.

You know, maybe this was...

I-I just think I should go.

Oi, Ryan.

How's your foosball?

What's foosball?

Hughie's guy?

- You jacked my brother's phone?
- Cloned it.

Had to get your attention somehow.

You know I could smear
your motherfucking face

across this astroturf in three seconds,

- right?
- Like you did Blue Hawk?

- I just want to talk.
- Why the fuck would I ever talk to you?

'Cause you gave Starlight that footage.

I got you on the office camera doing it.

Matter of fact,
I got so much dirt on you, A-Train,

I could bury you six dozen feet under.

But... I don't think
I'm gonna need to do that.

And why is that?

'Cause of those dark circles
under your eyes.

You ain't getting no sleep.

It makes me wonder, what the fuck
is keeping A-Train up at night?

Is it that bullshit white savior movie
they got you in?

Or that they put
your brother in a wheelchair?

Or guilt for beating three man to death
over at Planet Vought?

I knew one of those guys.

Wasn't my favorite person, but...
he was innocent.

You know what I think?

I think you've spent so much time
wearing that stupid-ass Black Power suit,

pretending to give a shit,
that something stuck.

You may have that racist
white boy's heart up in you,

but you got a second goddamn chance
to actually give a shit.

So what you gonna do with it, man?

Fuck you.

Sage is already hunting
for whoever leaked that footage.

'Cause giving a shit just gets you killed.

True.

But you're still standing here.

Should be about 10 Shining Light,
but maybe...

You okay?

Are you high right now?

Of course not.

- You are!
- It's just this light mélange

of hallucinogens.

I'm fine.

One man. Armed.

Mon Dieu!

Frenchie... Frenchie...

Frenchie.

Colin?

Frenchie.

Frenchie...

Colin?

What are you doing here?

Just some family time.

I'm sorry.

- I am so sorry.
- No, you're not.

If you were really sorry,
you wouldn't have kept doing it.

Non, s'il vous plaît. Non.

Sergei...

Mm.

Why shoot me?

I don't hold
your choke chain anymore, Zaichik.

Nobody does.

Mm. You're free of me...

Aw, and look at you, on your own.

Complete and utter failure.

Fucking that boy you orphaned,
it's pathetic.

All because you cannot accept
what you've always known to be true.

You killed them. Every last one.

The women and children.

And you only have yourself to blame.

You're a murderer.

A monster...

through and through.

Kimiko?

Hey!

Who is she?

Where did you go?

Where'd you learn how to play?

Down the local pub.

Lenny and I'd spend hours at it

while the old man was
getting pissed with his mates.

Who's Lenny?

My little brother.

He, uh... he passed away.

I always used to let him win.

But I ain't making the same mistake
with you, governor.

Sorry.

Oi!

That's okay.

Everyone at the Tower always lets me win.

It's no fun.

Saw your save on the telly.

So, you're a big hero now, eh?

Not really.

Come on, you're a star.
Nailed your lines and all.

I actually...

I accidentally hurt someone.

What do you mean, "hurt 'em"?

I was supposed to throw them...

but I did it too hard.

They gonna be all right?

My dad says I shouldn't even care.

I get why you don't want me.

I wouldn't want me, either.

Hey.

Now you listen to me.

Them horrible things I said...

I didn't mean 'em.

I have this, uh...

I have this habit, see,

of pushing people away.

Why?

'Cause, uh...

'Cause I'm a bad man.

I ain't got no business
looking after a kid.

Ah, that's not true.

Before, you asked if I was scared.

And the truth of the matter...

is I'm bloody terrified, mate.

I'm leaving this world
with nothing to show for it.

I lost me bruv...

your mum.

And I could be leaving
without making things right

with the one part of her
that is still alive.

And that...

that scares me more than anything.

Why'd you do that?

I fucked 'em up.

Put way too much sugar in 'em.

Hey...

how about we have another game, eh?

Yeah.

Come on then.

Best of three, all right?
Give me your best game.

So,

tell me about your relationship
with Starlight.

I understand you two were friends.

Uh, friends?

Um, no, I wouldn't say
that we were friends.

I mean, we, uh, shared
an Almond Joy from time to time.

Our records show you made a phone call

to the Starlight House
within the past month, so...

- Um...
- Are you working with her?

Uh, no, I-I was just, um,
donating some clothes?

So why is your heart pounding
like a little bass drum?

- I didn't do anything, okay? I swear.
- Okay, let's-let's just all calm down.

Okay? You're not in trouble here,

Anika.

Starlight's the bad guy here.
So, look, we're gonna find out anyway,

so, you just tell us the truth,
we swear you'll be fine.

Right?

Yes, yes, I... I swear.

I... I swear

on the life of my son.

Okay.

Mm, yes, Starlight did call me
a few days ago.

She just wanted some help tracking...

Ah!

What?

- She confessed. Leak plugged.
- You don't think

the next word out of her mouth
might have been useful?

- Guess I am that petty.
- Hmm.

This is fucking insane.

You can't actually mean this.

I'm sorry. Who let you in?

Bedroom window.

This used to be my place.

Yeah, I got to say,

I really hate what you've done with it.

You know, when I said, "Debate me,"
this wasn't what I had in mind.

Why me? What have I done
to make you hate me so much?

You really don't remember me, do you?

Of course. I mean, why would you?

We were only on the same pageant circuit
together for three fuckin' years.

'Course I was going by "Sparkler"
back in those days.

Sparkler.

Yeah, right. You, um,

sang that "God Bless America" medley.

I practiced that routine so fuckin' hard.

Never mind we were too poor
to have a backyard to practice in, but...

I'd dream that one day,
I'd get good enough to win.

Miami-Dade.

Down to you and me, the finals.

And my mom starts doing my makeup,

and I notice that everyone is...

snickering... at me.

You remember why?

Turns out you told everyone that I had

an ass-fuck gangbang with the judges,

which was the only way trash like me

could ever make it to the final.

I was 13 years old.

And when I went to you
to ask you... "Why?"

you remember what you said?

Look, I was immature and stupid,

and my mom taught me to be ruthless.

Do you remember... what you said?

I said that...

"I don't talk to fat sluts."

And then, not long after that,
I had to quit the pageant circuit,

'cause... well, a rumor like that,

it really follows you around.

- And the more you deny it, the more they believe it.
- I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.

It was so fucked up, and it was so wrong.

I was jealous.
But I'm not that person anymore.

People don't change.

And everybody thinks
that you're so decent,

so pretty and perfect.

Hell, you fucking think
you're better than everybody else.

- That's not true.
- You're damn fucking right it's not.

All that dove, pure angel bullshit?

No, I see the conniving little
mean-girl bitch in there.

And when I'm done, the rest
of the world's gonna see it, too.

Here's your peppermint latte.

Why, thank you.

- Happy holidays!
- Excuse me?

Don't you mean, "Merry Christmas"?

We say "Happy Holidays"

because the holidays
should be for everyone.

But Christmas is for everyone.

It's the most magical day of the year.

- Still no Annie?
- No.

No. Fuck.

Hey, where the fuck is everybody?

- All I got is you?
- Okay, one, thanks.

That's heartwarming. And two,

I don't get it. I mean, Vought On Ice?
This doesn't make any sense.

This is the last place
Vicky would pick for a meet.

I mean, can you just tell me
who your source is already?

Okay, skaters,
that's a cut on rehearsal.

A-Train.

- What?
- He says she's meeting Homelander here.

You fucking teamed up with him
and you didn't tell me?

I don't got to tell you shit, Hughie.
I made the call and it paid off.

How do you know this isn't a trap?
We're leaving.

- Right now.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Hold on a second.
I'm your motherfuckin' CO, okay?

Which means you don't get a say.

You do what I say

and you say, "Yes, sir" as you do it.
You got that?

- Do you have that?
- Okay... Yeah, fine.

- Yes, sir.
- Good.

Oh, fuck, it's hot as balls up here.

You know, I'm, like, six foot three.

Why am I the one in here?

- Hi.
- Hi, Madame Vice President.

Oh, shit.

Shit? What do you mean, shit?

Neuman's here early.

It's okay, she's taking cast photos.

Just stay calm.

But, you know, move your ass.

Okay.

Hey, Zo, come in.

I'm good.

Teenagers.

Okay, thank you.

It's great. Thank you, guys.
Thank you so much.

The show looks great. Good luck.

Hey, Zo. Zo, hey.

Ten minutes, then we'll get
frozen hot chocolate at Serendipity, huh?

Go. Go sit down, okay?

Thanks, guys.

Okay, Neuman's on the move.

Plant the bug and get the fuck out.

Why is she here?

Sage here is a valued
new member of The Seven.

- Hughie, talk to me.
- That's right.

You and Miss Floribama Shore.
You sure know how to pick 'em.

Kid, do you copy?

I picked Firecracker.

She has something
I can't find anywhere else.

And what's that?

She can destroy Starlight.

A lot of effort
for a petty rivalry.

Starlight's just the first pebble
down the mountain.

Soon, it's an avalanche.

Well, that's not creepy or ominous at all.
What does that mean?

We're just clearing the way for you, boo.

We'll handle Singer

after the election's certified.

After all, you can't just pop his top.

You need plausible deniability

when the 25th is invoked.

And in return?

You disband
the Bureau of Superhuman Affairs.

Condemn the "Defund the Supes" movement,

remove all books and teachers
that teach Critical Supe Theory.

A hero in every town,

with legal authority over the police.

Then, when you get in the Oval,

you show the world who you really are.

You want me to come out?

As a Supe?

No fucking way.

Singer and the military are
joined at the dick tip.

What happens when they
send in soldiers, which they will?

Vicky...

Why do you want to be president?

What, just some unchecked lust for power,

or are you still trying to fucking
prove something to Daddy Stan?

He really did a fucking number
on you, didn't he?

I mean, look at you.

You hate yourself,

you're ashamed of yourself,
and you should be proud.

We all should. And what about Zoe?

Do you want her to hate herself as well?
Be ashamed of herself?

That's what this is about.

We have to do better for them.

So what kind of example are you setting

by staying in the closet?

It's from fucking Campbell.
I can smell him.

No, wait, you kill Hughie,
his team outs me as a Supe.

Good, about time.

Fuck.

Come on!

Go! Get the fuck out of here!

Get out of the way!

Oh, fuck!

Oh, fuck!

Time to go.

Why'd you do that?

Wow.

Looks like you two had
an even shittier day than me.

When I was a boy

and my papa brought home prostitutes,

he'd draw me a bath
and tell me to stay in it

till he was done.

I sat in lukewarm water,
listening to their grunts.

Oh, God. That sounds terrible.

My fingers turned into prunes.

But for that hour, I had no choice.

All I could do was stay in that bath.

And that was so nice.

"Man is condemned to be free
because once thrown into this world,

he is responsible for everything he does."

It was a lot easier
shitting on Vought's decisions,

and my mom's decisions,
and everyone's decisions,

than making my own.

Do you ever miss it?

Your choices all made for you?

Uh...

Pretty sure Hughie has
some weed in his desk.

I'll gonna...

Enough.

- Something's going on with you.
- Why?

Because I took a few pills,

like I've done every day of my life?

Rehab was working,

I don't know if it's Colin or what,

- but something's wrong.
- I'm fine.

You don't have to worry about me,
mon coeur.

Really.

All the times you've helped me,

let me help you.

Talk to me.

What if it's not your business?

We are not joined at the hip.

We don't have to tell
each other everything.

Or do you want to tell me

who was that girl was back there
in the warehouse, with the scars?

Huh?

We cannot solve each other's problems.

Now, excusez-moi, I'm gonna get high.

A massive electrical fire
broke out this afternoon

at VoughtCoin Arena
during a tech rehearsal

for Vought on Ice's holiday show,

delaying all concerts, sporting events

and live entertainment
till further notice.

Hey. Um, how is he?

He's the same.

Look, um, my plan was to come in here,

you know, fight you bloody
over Dad, but, um...

I have had a day,

and I think what I really just

want to know right now is, um, why?

Why what?

Why'd you leave?

How... you know, how could you leave me?

Mm.

I was, uh...

- 22 when I had you.
- Mm-hmm.

Oh, those dimples.

But I was depressed.

Postpartum.

Uh...

You know, people think depression, they
think, "Oh, so you're sleepy, so what?"

But it's... not like that.

It... it's painful.

It hurts.

My friends all said,
"Give it a month, six months, a year,"

but it-it never went away.

But you were always so fun.

We'd have dance parties.

I never wanted you to see it.

But... getting dressed was like...

climbing Everest.

And so, one night, I just took

40 Ambien and tried to kill myself.

Thank God I threw them up in the toilet.

So the next day, I...

took you to school, and I left.

I didn't want to, but...

it was life or death for me.

I didn't know that.

Why would you?

You, um...

you never called.

I tried.

But your dad was so hurt, and-and...

he didn't want me to confuse you.

So, eventually, I just stopped.

I thought, you know, maybe

I wasn't cut out to be a parent.

And I know you've spent a lot of your life

hating me and thinking I'm the villain,

and I would never ask
for your forgiveness.

But I'm really sorry, Hughie,
that I hurt you.

I was just fucked up, you know?

Like...

everyone.

I don't know.

You think that carfentanil
was easy to score?

Why didn't you give him
the fucking cookie?

Boy wants to keep talking.

We don't got to kidnap him.
We can just fucking ease him into it.

And who has time for that?

You? How long before you drop dead?

Hi. CIA. I can find a medical file.

The whole world is about to burn,

- Billy, we need the kid.
- Need the kid?

I fucking told you, we ain't turning him

into an asset. He ain't ready.

By the time he's ready, it'll be too late.

Everything will be burnt down.

You asked me

if I could train up my boy.

You're damn right I could.

And if he died,
I would cry at his funeral,

but I would be proud of him
for saving the fucking world.

Jesus Christ, Joe, he's 12 years old.

And if he takes after his dad?

Either we figure out how to train him...

or we figure out how to kill him.

You look fat.

Why are you sticking out
all in the gut area?

- Do I look pregnant?
- Yes.

Hey, smartass.

Where you get off?

Crime Analytics was my department.

My angelfish and I had
a great thing going.

And I had nothing to do with that leak.

- I know.
- I wasn't even...

What is that?
Is that a Bloomin' Onion from Outback?

Yeah. You want some?

Yeah.

Mm.

Mmm.

- It's good.
- I know.

Are you doing okay?

- It's a tough day.
- Mm.

Hey.

You want to watch Transformers 2?

The one with the-the racist robots?

It's funny you mention that.
Shia's actually a good buddy of mine.

He wants me to be
in Honey Boy 2.

Script just isn't there yet, though.

Oh, yeah. That's tough.

You know, at first,
I kind of thought you were a bitch,

but you're actually pretty fucking cool.

- You're hot.
- You're totally fucking hot.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

- You like that?
- Yes.

Oh, don't tease me like that.

- Like that? Ah.
- Mm...

Oh...

- Where have you been?
- Sorry.

I flew to Coney Island
to get those hot dogs.

You're lying.

No, I'm not.

You've been at William Butcher's.

I can smell him on you.

I wanted to see him.

He's going through a tough time.

Why do you care

when you have everything here?

You have a home, you have a father.

I've given you everything
that I ever wanted,

and it's still not good enough for you.

Why?!

You're ungrateful.

You go behind my back. You lie to me.

Why?

Why am I not good enough for you?

No, I...

It's just Butcher…

Butcher. You know what?

If you love him so much,
why don't you get him to be your dad?

No, I don't want him to be my dad.

- You're my…
- Enough!

Enough!

Aw, fuck.

Fuck.

John?

John.

Come here.

John, come here.

You really made a mess this time, tiger.

Come on, champ, pull yourself together.

Deep breath.

For God's sakes, look at you.

A few Starlighters hate you,
Ryan spends some time with Butcher,

and, aw, boo-hoo, you're a fucking mess.

You have to be stronger, John. For Ryan.

You still need love.

- You're pushing him away.
- So much love.

- You still crave it.
- No, that's not true.

You're gonna make him weak
and needy, like you.

You can still fix things. He's your son.

He hates you. He's gonna turn on you.

- Your blood.
- Everyone hates you.

Shh. Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.

It's time to overcome this need for love,

this sickness, once and for all.

You're never gonna be your true self
until you transcend your humanity.

What do I do?

You need to go
back to the start.

John, you need to go home.

Amen, Jesus!