Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,249 --> 00:00:04,479
Malcolm:
This is the world--
2
00:00:04,551 --> 00:00:07,213
1 96 million square miles.
3
00:00:07,287 --> 00:00:09,517
If I covered 1 00 square miles
an hour
4
00:00:09,589 --> 00:00:11,523
every hour
for the rest of my life
5
00:00:11,591 --> 00:00:13,456
I'd still only see half of it.
6
00:00:13,527 --> 00:00:14,926
( Squeaking )
7
00:00:14,995 --> 00:00:17,828
This is the left nostril
of my brother Reese.
8
00:00:17,898 --> 00:00:21,265
It squeaks all night long.
9
00:00:21,335 --> 00:00:23,098
These are the freezing cold feet
10
00:00:23,170 --> 00:00:25,263
of my little brother... Dewey.
11
00:00:25,339 --> 00:00:27,307
This is my oldest brother Francis.
12
00:00:27,374 --> 00:00:29,103
He's the one I really like
13
00:00:29,176 --> 00:00:31,906
so, of course,
he got sent to military school.
14
00:00:31,978 --> 00:00:33,104
My name is Malcolm.
15
00:00:33,180 --> 00:00:35,148
You want to know
what the best thing
16
00:00:35,215 --> 00:00:36,307
about childhood is?
17
00:00:36,383 --> 00:00:38,783
At some point, it stops.
18
00:01:23,196 --> 00:01:26,893
Malcolm, Reese, Dewey,
get in here!
19
00:01:29,569 --> 00:01:31,161
- Stop!
- I'm not touching you!
20
00:01:31,238 --> 00:01:32,466
There's only two toaster waffles.
21
00:01:32,539 --> 00:01:33,665
One of you has to have cereal.
22
00:01:35,242 --> 00:01:36,266
It's mine!
23
00:01:36,343 --> 00:01:37,367
Come on!
24
00:01:37,444 --> 00:01:38,536
Give it!
25
00:01:38,612 --> 00:01:39,704
You cheated!
26
00:01:39,780 --> 00:01:40,872
Give it! Give it!
27
00:01:40,947 --> 00:01:43,916
Huh, look at this.
28
00:01:43,984 --> 00:01:46,544
They're sending
an unmanned probe to Venus
29
00:01:46,620 --> 00:01:49,555
and letting a bunch
of schoolchildren name it.
30
00:01:49,623 --> 00:01:51,181
That's going to end badly.
31
00:01:51,258 --> 00:01:53,590
These clippers are dull already.
32
00:01:53,660 --> 00:01:55,855
Honestly, Hal,
you're like a monkey.
33
00:01:55,929 --> 00:01:57,362
They do this every month.
34
00:01:57,431 --> 00:01:58,728
He has sensitive skin.
35
00:01:58,799 --> 00:02:01,495
The hair gets itchy under his clothes.
36
00:02:01,568 --> 00:02:03,126
It always seems like such a shame
37
00:02:03,203 --> 00:02:04,693
to just dump this in the trash.
38
00:02:04,771 --> 00:02:06,932
Maybe birds would like
to make nests with it
39
00:02:07,007 --> 00:02:09,237
or maybe you boys could
use it for school projects.
40
00:02:10,477 --> 00:02:13,674
Arms up.
41
00:02:13,747 --> 00:02:16,045
Dude.
42
00:02:16,116 --> 00:02:18,050
Malcolm, come right home
from school.
43
00:02:18,118 --> 00:02:20,052
I made a play date for you with Stevie
Kenarban and you have to take a bath.
44
00:02:20,120 --> 00:02:21,644
What? Mom, no!
45
00:02:21,721 --> 00:02:22,983
Malcolm has a play date?!
46
00:02:23,056 --> 00:02:24,318
Shut up, Reese!
47
00:02:24,391 --> 00:02:26,359
With Stevie ''The Wheelie'' Kenarban?
48
00:02:26,426 --> 00:02:27,825
Oh, man!
49
00:02:27,894 --> 00:02:30,556
( Coughing )
50
00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:34,992
Breathing.
51
00:02:37,037 --> 00:02:40,029
So, Malcolm,
why is playing a problem?
52
00:02:40,106 --> 00:02:42,131
First off
53
00:02:42,209 --> 00:02:43,938
I don't even know Stevie.
54
00:02:44,010 --> 00:02:45,739
His mother said
you boys ate lunch together.
55
00:02:45,812 --> 00:02:46,870
One time.
56
00:02:46,947 --> 00:02:49,313
He rolled his wheelchair
over next to me.
57
00:02:49,382 --> 00:02:51,714
It's not like
I could say, ''Go away.''
58
00:02:51,785 --> 00:02:53,309
He's not even in my class.
59
00:02:53,386 --> 00:02:54,751
He's in the Krelboyne class
60
00:02:54,821 --> 00:02:56,516
in the trailer
next to tetherball.
61
00:02:56,590 --> 00:02:58,114
You listen to me, young man.
62
00:02:58,191 --> 00:03:00,250
That one lunch obviously
meant a lot to Stevie.
63
00:03:00,327 --> 00:03:02,056
He's a human being
with human feelings.
64
00:03:02,128 --> 00:03:04,562
Now, you are going to be friends
with that crippled boy
65
00:03:04,631 --> 00:03:06,462
and you are going
to like it. Understood?
66
00:03:06,533 --> 00:03:08,467
Yes, ma'am. Understood.
67
00:03:08,535 --> 00:03:11,800
If I give up now,
I won't get the lecture.
68
00:03:11,872 --> 00:03:12,531
You kids...
69
00:03:12,606 --> 00:03:13,402
Dang.
70
00:03:13,473 --> 00:03:15,065
You just take
71
00:03:15,141 --> 00:03:17,541
your legs for granted like nothing
could ever happen to them.
72
00:03:17,611 --> 00:03:18,942
That is just wishful thinking.
73
00:03:19,012 --> 00:03:20,741
There's meningitis.
There are car accidents.
74
00:03:20,814 --> 00:03:23,044
I could be giving
you a spanking
75
00:03:23,116 --> 00:03:24,743
and accidentally snap
your spinal cord.
76
00:03:24,818 --> 00:03:26,251
Every day is a lottery
77
00:03:26,319 --> 00:03:28,253
and first prize
is that you don't have to scoot
78
00:03:28,321 --> 00:03:30,846
yourself around town on a skateboard
with your hands.
79
00:03:30,924 --> 00:03:32,915
You think about that.
80
00:03:34,661 --> 00:03:37,186
I don't take my legs
for granted, Mom.
81
00:03:37,264 --> 00:03:39,323
I know, honey.
You're a good boy.
82
00:03:39,399 --> 00:03:41,492
Stop playing with yourself.
83
00:03:43,370 --> 00:03:44,928
( Boys Arguing )
84
00:03:45,005 --> 00:03:46,802
Go on,just go.
85
00:03:46,873 --> 00:03:48,568
Lois:
No, wait, wait, wait.
86
00:03:48,642 --> 00:03:50,132
Okay, I ran out of ham.
87
00:03:50,210 --> 00:03:52,474
One of you has
to have egg salad, okay?
88
00:03:52,546 --> 00:03:54,309
And don't ditch
your little brother.
89
00:03:54,381 --> 00:03:56,144
I don't want him
getting kidnapped.
90
00:03:56,216 --> 00:03:58,377
Yeah, Mom,
that would be terrible.
91
00:03:58,451 --> 00:04:00,476
It's your turn to walk with him.
92
00:04:00,554 --> 00:04:02,488
I walked him yesterday
and the day before.
93
00:04:02,556 --> 00:04:04,649
I walked with him
when he wet his pants.
94
00:04:04,724 --> 00:04:06,157
Okay.
95
00:04:10,230 --> 00:04:12,528
Mom said to hold hands.
96
00:04:12,599 --> 00:04:14,464
She did not say
to hold hands, Dewey.
97
00:04:14,534 --> 00:04:16,092
I'm not holding hands.
98
00:04:16,169 --> 00:04:17,761
Come on, hold hands. Please?
99
00:04:17,837 --> 00:04:19,964
No! You're in the first grade.
100
00:04:20,040 --> 00:04:22,099
You're too big for that.
101
00:04:22,175 --> 00:04:25,110
Look,
I'm walking right next to you.
102
00:04:25,178 --> 00:04:26,770
You'll be fine.
103
00:04:28,515 --> 00:04:31,814
Damn it! This is why
everyone teases you.
104
00:04:31,885 --> 00:04:33,352
Hey, Malcolm.
105
00:04:33,420 --> 00:04:34,682
Hey, Richard.
106
00:04:34,754 --> 00:04:37,245
So my mom was telling
my dad last night
107
00:04:37,324 --> 00:04:38,723
about your brother.
108
00:04:38,792 --> 00:04:40,419
She said he's in jail.
109
00:04:40,493 --> 00:04:41,926
He's not in jail.
110
00:04:41,995 --> 00:04:43,587
He's at Marlin Academy.
111
00:04:43,663 --> 00:04:46,928
It's, like, one of the best
private schools in the country
112
00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:48,729
and it's totally unfair.
113
00:04:48,802 --> 00:04:51,862
Everyone acts like Francis
is just this big troublemaker
114
00:04:51,938 --> 00:04:53,735
and he's not.
115
00:04:53,807 --> 00:04:55,832
Dad, I know what
you're going to say
116
00:04:55,909 --> 00:04:58,241
and believe me,
I totally agree with you.
117
00:04:58,311 --> 00:05:00,245
There is no excuse
for what I did.
118
00:05:00,313 --> 00:05:02,747
It was idiotic, immature,
totally reckless
119
00:05:02,816 --> 00:05:04,408
and I'm really sorry.
120
00:05:04,484 --> 00:05:06,645
I'm just...
I'm hoping against hope
121
00:05:06,720 --> 00:05:09,348
that you will give me
another chance, which, I admit
122
00:05:09,422 --> 00:05:11,014
I don't deserve
123
00:05:11,091 --> 00:05:13,924
but if you could just
find it in your heart
124
00:05:13,994 --> 00:05:15,586
to forgive me
125
00:05:15,662 --> 00:05:17,994
I know I could earn
your trust back.
126
00:05:18,064 --> 00:05:20,726
It's not like
it was even our car.
127
00:05:20,800 --> 00:05:22,768
Spath, Spath, Spath!
128
00:05:22,836 --> 00:05:24,633
Spath:
All right
129
00:05:24,704 --> 00:05:26,797
here's how it works.
130
00:05:26,873 --> 00:05:28,841
You can beg for mercy
on your belly
131
00:05:28,908 --> 00:05:31,342
lick the bottom of my shoes
132
00:05:31,411 --> 00:05:32,935
or take a beating.
133
00:05:33,013 --> 00:05:35,106
You must pick at least two
134
00:05:35,181 --> 00:05:38,344
but... but-but,
if you pick three
135
00:05:38,418 --> 00:05:40,352
you get a pass
for the next two weeks.
136
00:05:40,420 --> 00:05:41,546
All right?
137
00:05:41,621 --> 00:05:43,088
Now, that's your best value.
138
00:05:43,156 --> 00:05:45,386
Malcolm:
Dave Spath.
139
00:05:45,458 --> 00:05:48,291
He never gets sent anywhere.
140
00:05:48,361 --> 00:05:49,726
What do you do
if he catches you?
141
00:05:49,796 --> 00:05:50,728
Roll in a ball.
142
00:05:50,797 --> 00:05:51,889
What if he starts kicking you?
143
00:05:51,965 --> 00:05:53,091
Stay in a ball.
144
00:05:53,166 --> 00:05:55,361
Okay. Come on.
145
00:05:55,435 --> 00:05:56,697
( Kids Yelling )
146
00:05:56,770 --> 00:05:58,260
Wait.
147
00:06:01,107 --> 00:06:02,665
Never mind.
148
00:06:02,742 --> 00:06:05,768
( Kids Continue Yelling )
149
00:06:07,947 --> 00:06:09,972
Woman: Those of you finished
with your tempera paints
150
00:06:10,050 --> 00:06:11,312
may bring your work up here
151
00:06:11,384 --> 00:06:13,648
and start on
your charcoal still lifes.
152
00:06:13,720 --> 00:06:16,621
You may take two pieces
of fruit only
153
00:06:16,690 --> 00:06:18,681
and please be careful with them.
154
00:06:18,758 --> 00:06:21,090
I bought them with my own money.
155
00:06:21,161 --> 00:06:24,961
My own money.
156
00:06:26,533 --> 00:06:28,728
God, Malcolm, that's so good.
157
00:06:36,176 --> 00:06:38,542
Oh, Malcolm, this is wonderful.
158
00:06:38,611 --> 00:06:40,374
The perspective is good.
159
00:06:40,447 --> 00:06:41,607
The composition is clean
160
00:06:41,681 --> 00:06:43,945
and it even shows signs
of actual technique.
161
00:06:44,017 --> 00:06:46,281
I have to say this
is the high point of my day.
162
00:06:46,352 --> 00:06:47,717
( Laughs )
163
00:06:47,787 --> 00:06:48,947
How's that for sad?
164
00:06:54,961 --> 00:06:56,258
( Squishing )
165
00:07:03,737 --> 00:07:04,704
Are you okay?
166
00:07:04,771 --> 00:07:06,602
Um, yeah, I'm fine.
167
00:07:06,673 --> 00:07:08,300
Hogan:
Malcolm.
168
00:07:08,374 --> 00:07:09,466
What?
169
00:07:09,542 --> 00:07:11,476
They need to see you
in the office.
170
00:07:11,544 --> 00:07:15,002
Okay.
171
00:07:15,081 --> 00:07:18,107
I think they mean right now.
172
00:07:18,184 --> 00:07:19,617
Okay.
173
00:07:23,623 --> 00:07:25,113
Get up, Malcolm.
174
00:07:27,794 --> 00:07:30,854
( Kids'Laughter Echoing )
175
00:07:34,634 --> 00:07:35,999
Hi. I'm Caroline.
176
00:07:36,069 --> 00:07:37,696
Want to have a seat?
177
00:07:40,206 --> 00:07:41,503
Are you Malcolm?
178
00:07:41,574 --> 00:07:43,565
Yes, and I didn't do anything.
179
00:07:43,643 --> 00:07:45,406
You're not in trouble, Malcolm.
180
00:07:45,478 --> 00:07:47,446
You're here
'cause some of your teachers
181
00:07:47,514 --> 00:07:49,175
think you're, um... You know what?
182
00:07:49,249 --> 00:07:51,240
I just want to play
some games with you.
183
00:07:51,317 --> 00:07:52,511
Puzzles, stuff like that.
184
00:07:52,585 --> 00:07:53,677
Why?
185
00:07:53,753 --> 00:07:55,345
Boy, oh, boy
186
00:07:55,421 --> 00:07:58,788
you are a suspicious
little dickens, aren't you?
187
00:07:58,858 --> 00:08:01,691
Now, you can look
at this picture for 60 seconds
188
00:08:01,761 --> 00:08:03,592
and I want you to tell me
189
00:08:03,663 --> 00:08:05,927
everything that's wrong
with it, okay?
190
00:08:05,999 --> 00:08:08,024
The man only has four fingers.
191
00:08:08,101 --> 00:08:09,830
Right, but this time
192
00:08:09,903 --> 00:08:13,600
I want you to take your time
and really look...
193
00:08:13,673 --> 00:08:15,368
The car shadow's
going the wrong way
194
00:08:15,441 --> 00:08:17,272
the steering wheel's
on the wrong side
195
00:08:17,343 --> 00:08:18,503
there's no brake pedal
196
00:08:18,578 --> 00:08:20,205
the words in the mirror
should be backwards
197
00:08:20,280 --> 00:08:22,214
the guy's watch wouldn't say 1 2:00
198
00:08:22,282 --> 00:08:24,079
if he's looking at a sunset
199
00:08:24,150 --> 00:08:26,243
and I have red paint on my ass.
200
00:08:26,319 --> 00:08:27,581
That's right.
201
00:08:27,654 --> 00:08:29,747
Red paint all over my ass!
202
00:08:47,407 --> 00:08:50,240
( Intro To
''Tie A Yellow Ribbon''Playing )
203
00:08:56,749 --> 00:08:58,376
These are good cookies.
204
00:08:58,451 --> 00:09:03,081
( Breathy ):
Yeah... they're good.
205
00:09:06,226 --> 00:09:07,659
So what can you do?
206
00:09:07,727 --> 00:09:09,422
I mean,
what do you want to do?
207
00:09:09,495 --> 00:09:13,454
I know... a joke.
208
00:09:13,533 --> 00:09:15,398
Yeah? Okay.
209
00:09:17,570 --> 00:09:19,231
A guy...
210
00:09:19,305 --> 00:09:21,170
goes into...
211
00:09:21,241 --> 00:09:22,299
a bar...
212
00:09:22,375 --> 00:09:25,003
and he...
213
00:09:25,078 --> 00:09:29,481
has a... frog on
214
00:09:29,549 --> 00:09:30,709
his...
215
00:09:30,783 --> 00:09:32,080
Frog on his head.
216
00:09:32,151 --> 00:09:37,612
On his head.
217
00:09:37,690 --> 00:09:41,456
And the... bartender...
218
00:09:41,527 --> 00:09:43,859
Wait, I screwed up.
219
00:09:45,231 --> 00:09:46,994
A frog...
220
00:09:47,066 --> 00:09:50,126
goes into... a bar.
221
00:09:50,203 --> 00:09:51,966
You want to watch TV?
222
00:09:52,038 --> 00:09:55,007
Can't. Not allowed.
223
00:09:55,074 --> 00:09:58,043
What? You mean, ever?
224
00:09:58,111 --> 00:10:00,204
Mom says...
225
00:10:00,280 --> 00:10:01,713
TV makes you...
226
00:10:01,781 --> 00:10:02,713
stupid.
227
00:10:02,782 --> 00:10:04,773
No, TV makes you normal.
228
00:10:04,851 --> 00:10:06,409
How can they do that?
229
00:10:06,486 --> 00:10:08,545
He's in a wheelchair.
230
00:10:08,621 --> 00:10:11,021
So what do you do all day,
homework?
231
00:10:11,090 --> 00:10:14,958
Mostly... read... comics.
232
00:10:15,028 --> 00:10:16,518
You have comic books?
233
00:10:25,204 --> 00:10:26,831
Whoa!
234
00:10:29,776 --> 00:10:32,040
You really have
Youngblood, number one?
235
00:10:32,111 --> 00:10:34,841
Want to... read it?
236
00:10:34,914 --> 00:10:38,247
No way. I'd wreck it.
237
00:10:38,318 --> 00:10:41,685
Oh... did you read
the last Savage Dragon
238
00:10:41,754 --> 00:10:43,415
when they split him in two?
239
00:10:43,489 --> 00:10:45,753
Yeah. Brilliant.
240
00:10:45,825 --> 00:10:48,419
I like how he never has to
learn a lesson or anything.
241
00:10:48,494 --> 00:10:50,985
He just gets to pound on everyone.
242
00:10:59,672 --> 00:11:02,038
You're under galactic arrest.
243
00:11:02,108 --> 00:11:05,271
Think again, space flatfoot.
244
00:11:05,345 --> 00:11:06,573
You cannot escape.
245
00:11:06,646 --> 00:11:09,114
Give up or be annihilated.
246
00:11:09,182 --> 00:11:11,116
Saturday morning
is the only thing
247
00:11:11,184 --> 00:11:13,709
my family does better
than anyone else.
248
00:11:19,359 --> 00:11:21,054
Damn!
249
00:11:22,662 --> 00:11:24,721
You boys,
you keep this house clean
250
00:11:24,797 --> 00:11:27,095
till your dad comes home.
251
00:11:27,166 --> 00:11:29,100
Two of you can have
slices of pizza for lunch.
252
00:11:29,168 --> 00:11:30,567
The other one can have...
253
00:11:30,636 --> 00:11:32,729
I don't know.
I think they're peas.
254
00:11:32,805 --> 00:11:33,737
( Phone Rings )
255
00:11:33,806 --> 00:11:34,932
Somebody get that.
256
00:11:35,008 --> 00:11:36,942
- Not it.
- Not it.
257
00:11:40,146 --> 00:11:41,238
Hello.
258
00:11:41,314 --> 00:11:42,747
Young Master Malcolm.
259
00:11:42,815 --> 00:11:43,907
Francis, hi.
260
00:11:43,983 --> 00:11:45,541
Hey, man
261
00:11:45,618 --> 00:11:47,552
I wrote you guys
a really long letter yesterday
262
00:11:47,620 --> 00:11:49,747
but, listen, they only gave me,
like, three minutes
263
00:11:49,822 --> 00:11:51,619
so would you put
the special prosecutor on?
264
00:11:51,691 --> 00:11:53,556
Mom, it's Francis.
265
00:11:56,996 --> 00:11:58,327
Hey, Francis, how's school?
266
00:11:58,398 --> 00:12:00,161
Oh, couldn't be better, Mom.
267
00:12:00,233 --> 00:12:02,326
My new roommate showed me
how to kill mice
268
00:12:02,402 --> 00:12:05,030
with a hammer yesterday,
so, you know, between that
269
00:12:05,104 --> 00:12:07,800
and the general atmosphere
of simmering homoeroticism
270
00:12:07,874 --> 00:12:10,069
I think I'm really starting
to turn around.
271
00:12:10,143 --> 00:12:11,405
Honey, it's only until summer.
272
00:12:11,477 --> 00:12:12,910
Come on, push it!
273
00:12:12,979 --> 00:12:14,571
Give it up, prom date.
274
00:12:14,647 --> 00:12:16,808
Yeah, listen, um...
I know I shouldn't ask
275
00:12:16,883 --> 00:12:18,475
but would you be able
276
00:12:18,551 --> 00:12:21,520
to send me my allowance
like, a couple of weeks early
277
00:12:21,587 --> 00:12:22,884
'cause I kind of need some...?
278
00:12:22,955 --> 00:12:24,513
Oh, my God! Are you smoking?
279
00:12:24,590 --> 00:12:25,318
What?
280
00:12:25,391 --> 00:12:26,551
You're smoking.
281
00:12:26,626 --> 00:12:28,594
I can hear you smoking.
You're smoking, aren't you?
282
00:12:28,661 --> 00:12:30,788
Mom, I'm not smoking. Geez.
283
00:12:30,863 --> 00:12:32,023
After seeing the anguish
284
00:12:32,098 --> 00:12:34,760
your father and I
went through to quit
285
00:12:34,834 --> 00:12:36,597
didn't any of that
register with you?
286
00:12:36,669 --> 00:12:38,102
Okay, listen.
287
00:12:38,171 --> 00:12:39,604
I'll talk to your dad.
288
00:12:39,672 --> 00:12:41,663
Maybe we can send you
part of it.
289
00:12:41,741 --> 00:12:43,140
Honey, I have to go.
290
00:12:43,209 --> 00:12:44,471
I'm late for work.
291
00:12:44,544 --> 00:12:45,806
I'll call you later.
292
00:12:45,878 --> 00:12:47,607
Okay, thanks, Mom. I love you.
293
00:12:47,680 --> 00:12:49,204
( Dial Tone )
294
00:12:49,282 --> 00:12:51,512
Oh... I love you.
295
00:13:01,594 --> 00:13:03,118
He's so lucky.
296
00:13:03,196 --> 00:13:06,188
I know.
We never go anywhere.
297
00:13:06,265 --> 00:13:08,358
He gets to be in Alabama.
298
00:13:08,434 --> 00:13:09,992
Is Alabama nice?
299
00:13:10,069 --> 00:13:11,195
Look it up, Dewey.
300
00:13:11,270 --> 00:13:12,999
It's got Sequoia Caverns
301
00:13:13,072 --> 00:13:15,199
the biggest cast-iron statue
in the world.
302
00:13:15,274 --> 00:13:17,037
Plus it's right next to Florida
303
00:13:17,110 --> 00:13:18,634
where Disney World is.
304
00:13:18,711 --> 00:13:22,147
I bet he goes to Disney World
all the time.
305
00:13:22,215 --> 00:13:25,616
Hey, moron, he's 1 6.
He doesn't do kid stuff.
306
00:13:25,685 --> 00:13:29,212
He goes to parties,
drinks beer and goes skiing.
307
00:13:29,288 --> 00:13:32,519
Right, genius.
They do lots of skiing in Alabama.
308
00:13:32,592 --> 00:13:34,059
- Shut up!
- You shut up!
309
00:13:34,127 --> 00:13:35,685
- No, you shut up!
- Make me!
310
00:13:35,761 --> 00:13:36,750
I'll make you right--
311
00:13:39,632 --> 00:13:40,656
( Screaming )
312
00:13:42,301 --> 00:13:43,495
Not my face!
313
00:13:45,138 --> 00:13:48,232
You'd better not be fighting
in there, Reese, Malcolm!
314
00:13:48,307 --> 00:13:49,899
I said, you better not
be fighting--
315
00:13:49,976 --> 00:13:51,409
( Doorbell Ringing )
316
00:13:51,477 --> 00:13:55,914
For crying out loud!
Reese! Malcolm!
317
00:13:55,982 --> 00:13:58,542
( Doorbell Ringing )
318
00:13:58,618 --> 00:13:59,949
Yes. Can I help you?
319
00:14:00,019 --> 00:14:01,486
Oh. My good... um, hi.
320
00:14:01,554 --> 00:14:02,987
Hel... hello. I'm....
321
00:14:03,055 --> 00:14:05,353
Are you...?
I'm... Caroline Miller
322
00:14:05,424 --> 00:14:07,051
from Malcolm's school.
323
00:14:07,126 --> 00:14:08,525
I sent you some letters
324
00:14:08,594 --> 00:14:11,586
and left some messages
on your answering machine.
325
00:14:11,664 --> 00:14:13,222
Okay, fine. You caught me.
326
00:14:13,299 --> 00:14:14,231
What do you want?
327
00:14:14,300 --> 00:14:15,631
Um... well,
it's been three weeks
328
00:14:15,701 --> 00:14:16,725
and you haven't responded
329
00:14:16,802 --> 00:14:17,928
and it's really important...
330
00:14:18,004 --> 00:14:19,266
I mean, well, for Malcolm's sake
331
00:14:19,338 --> 00:14:20,862
that the parents be
as involved in...
332
00:14:20,940 --> 00:14:23,636
So you're here to insult
my parenting skills?
333
00:14:23,709 --> 00:14:25,677
No. I'm sure you're
a terrific parent.
334
00:14:25,745 --> 00:14:26,973
( Screaming )
335
00:14:27,046 --> 00:14:28,980
Who's the baby now?
336
00:14:31,117 --> 00:14:32,448
I'm here because I think
337
00:14:32,518 --> 00:14:35,146
that there is a tremendous
opportunity for...
338
00:14:35,221 --> 00:14:37,621
Could you, you know,
maybe put a top on?
339
00:14:37,690 --> 00:14:38,782
They're just boobs, lady.
340
00:14:38,858 --> 00:14:40,382
You see them in the mirror
every morning.
341
00:14:40,459 --> 00:14:42,154
I'm sure yours
are a lot nicer than mine.
342
00:14:42,228 --> 00:14:43,160
That's actually not...
343
00:14:43,229 --> 00:14:44,457
Let me tell you something else.
344
00:14:44,530 --> 00:14:45,792
The reason I didn't respond
345
00:14:45,865 --> 00:14:47,127
is because it is a load of crap.
346
00:14:47,200 --> 00:14:48,360
What?
347
00:14:48,434 --> 00:14:49,924
You are not going
to stick my Malcolm
348
00:14:50,002 --> 00:14:51,026
in some special ed class.
349
00:14:51,103 --> 00:14:52,434
What is it with you people?
350
00:14:52,505 --> 00:14:53,995
Why do you have to label everybody?
351
00:14:54,073 --> 00:14:55,438
Malcolm may be a little strange
352
00:14:55,508 --> 00:14:57,408
and, I know, I know,
he never shuts up
353
00:14:57,476 --> 00:14:58,704
but he is not disturbed.
354
00:14:58,778 --> 00:15:00,177
You know, he is a good boy...
355
00:15:00,246 --> 00:15:02,043
Please!
356
00:15:02,114 --> 00:15:03,206
You know what?
357
00:15:03,282 --> 00:15:04,977
You don't understand at all, okay?
358
00:15:05,051 --> 00:15:07,076
So if I could just
come in for a minute
359
00:15:07,153 --> 00:15:09,451
I could explain everything,
okay?
360
00:15:11,757 --> 00:15:14,191
Reese:
Ow! Ow! Ow!
361
00:15:43,422 --> 00:15:44,514
Good, hon.
362
00:15:46,225 --> 00:15:47,453
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
363
00:15:47,526 --> 00:15:49,255
There's something
we have to talk about.
364
00:15:54,333 --> 00:15:56,893
I thought we weren't
going to mention that
365
00:15:56,969 --> 00:15:58,129
until after the biopsy.
366
00:15:58,204 --> 00:15:59,068
It's not that.
367
00:15:59,138 --> 00:16:00,230
It's about Malcolm.
368
00:16:00,306 --> 00:16:01,034
I didn't do it.
369
00:16:01,107 --> 00:16:02,005
He did it. I saw him.
370
00:16:02,074 --> 00:16:03,803
A teacher from school came by
371
00:16:03,876 --> 00:16:05,969
and she ran
some tests with Malcolm.
372
00:16:06,045 --> 00:16:09,310
He has an IQ of 1 65.
373
00:16:09,382 --> 00:16:11,782
Who?
374
00:16:11,851 --> 00:16:14,115
Malcolm. He's a genius.
375
00:16:14,186 --> 00:16:15,551
He's going to a special class.
376
00:16:15,621 --> 00:16:16,849
What?
377
00:16:16,922 --> 00:16:18,514
Malcolm's special?
378
00:16:18,591 --> 00:16:19,888
Where do you think that came from?
379
00:16:19,959 --> 00:16:21,859
They have a special program
for gifted children.
380
00:16:21,927 --> 00:16:23,986
They have advanced textbooks
and devoted teachers
381
00:16:24,063 --> 00:16:26,463
and good things they don't want
to waste on normal kids.
382
00:16:26,532 --> 00:16:27,794
You start on Monday.
383
00:16:27,867 --> 00:16:29,801
In the Krelboyne class?
384
00:16:29,869 --> 00:16:31,837
Mom, no. I don't want to.
385
00:16:31,904 --> 00:16:33,804
What are you talking about?
386
00:16:33,873 --> 00:16:35,500
Of course you want to.
387
00:16:35,574 --> 00:16:37,542
No. I want to stay
in my own class.
388
00:16:37,610 --> 00:16:39,874
I don't want to be a Krelboyne.
389
00:16:39,945 --> 00:16:42,311
Mom, seriously, Krelboynes
get their butts kicked.
390
00:16:42,381 --> 00:16:44,781
Just stop one minute.
391
00:16:44,850 --> 00:16:47,410
There's nothing wrong
with being smart.
392
00:16:47,486 --> 00:16:48,885
And there's nothing wrong
393
00:16:48,954 --> 00:16:50,546
with being cut from the herd.
394
00:16:50,623 --> 00:16:52,386
It makes you the one buffalo
that isn't there
395
00:16:52,458 --> 00:16:53,755
when the Indians run the rest
396
00:16:53,826 --> 00:16:55,760
- of them off the cliff.
- Huh?
397
00:16:55,828 --> 00:16:57,352
Mom, this isn't fair.
398
00:16:57,430 --> 00:16:59,364
If I don't want to go,
why do I have to?
399
00:16:59,432 --> 00:17:01,832
Because it's not just up to you.
400
00:17:01,901 --> 00:17:04,062
We have to do what's best for you.
401
00:17:04,136 --> 00:17:05,603
Is Malcolm going to Alabama?
402
00:17:05,671 --> 00:17:08,162
Mom, please!
Don't make me go! Please!
403
00:17:08,240 --> 00:17:09,730
Malcolm, calm down.
404
00:17:09,809 --> 00:17:11,003
But it isn't fair!
405
00:17:11,077 --> 00:17:13,170
That's right. It isn't fair.
406
00:17:13,245 --> 00:17:15,076
It's the first time
anyone in this family
407
00:17:15,147 --> 00:17:16,341
has ever been given an edge
408
00:17:16,415 --> 00:17:17,780
and you are not going to waste it.
409
00:17:17,850 --> 00:17:18,839
Dad?
410
00:17:18,918 --> 00:17:19,748
Honey?
411
00:17:21,987 --> 00:17:23,352
Well...
412
00:17:23,422 --> 00:17:25,185
look, honey...
413
00:17:27,593 --> 00:17:31,188
Malcolm, you see...
414
00:17:34,266 --> 00:17:36,359
Oh, for crying out loud.
415
00:17:36,435 --> 00:17:39,131
How come there's never
any iced tea in this pitcher?
416
00:17:39,205 --> 00:17:40,695
I make a fresh batch
every morning
417
00:17:40,773 --> 00:17:42,434
and it's gone
by the time I get home.
418
00:17:42,508 --> 00:17:44,976
I want a better family!
419
00:17:45,044 --> 00:17:48,207
Malcolm...
420
00:17:48,280 --> 00:17:50,373
Go get yogurt.
421
00:17:50,449 --> 00:17:51,711
Look at that.
422
00:17:51,784 --> 00:17:53,217
Gone.
423
00:17:53,285 --> 00:17:55,116
Can't you make iced tea?
424
00:17:55,187 --> 00:17:56,779
No!
425
00:17:56,856 --> 00:17:59,450
I don't want to go
to a special class.
426
00:17:59,525 --> 00:18:01,117
People think
I'm weird enough already.
427
00:18:01,193 --> 00:18:02,660
I know.
428
00:18:02,728 --> 00:18:04,923
I like where I am.
I want to stay.
429
00:18:04,997 --> 00:18:08,330
That's because you don't
understand the world yet.
430
00:18:08,401 --> 00:18:09,993
Sweetie,
life does not give you
431
00:18:10,069 --> 00:18:11,331
a lot of chances to move up
432
00:18:11,404 --> 00:18:13,099
even if you deserve it.
433
00:18:13,172 --> 00:18:14,571
Look at your dad and me.
434
00:18:14,640 --> 00:18:18,167
Malcolm, I'm proud of you.
435
00:18:18,244 --> 00:18:19,905
You boys are so lucky.
436
00:18:19,979 --> 00:18:22,243
You have so many gifts
that other kids don't have.
437
00:18:22,314 --> 00:18:25,511
And I don't just mean
Stevie Kenarban, either.
438
00:18:25,584 --> 00:18:28,417
I mean, look at those
Parker boys across the street.
439
00:18:28,487 --> 00:18:30,079
They may be healthy,
but honest to God
440
00:18:30,156 --> 00:18:31,748
those are the ugliest
little boys ever born.
441
00:18:31,824 --> 00:18:34,054
They look like boiled beets,
don't you think?
442
00:18:34,126 --> 00:18:35,787
And those Henderson kids?
443
00:18:35,861 --> 00:18:37,192
That electrocuted their dog
444
00:18:37,263 --> 00:18:38,696
when they were trying
to get free cable.
445
00:18:38,764 --> 00:18:41,358
How smart can they be?
446
00:18:41,434 --> 00:18:42,799
And your friend Richard.
447
00:18:42,868 --> 00:18:44,426
He's not ugly or dumb.
448
00:18:44,503 --> 00:18:46,471
Yes, but he's very effeminate.
449
00:18:46,539 --> 00:18:48,404
Just remember
450
00:18:48,474 --> 00:18:50,772
any kid who makes fun of you
451
00:18:50,843 --> 00:18:52,435
is a creepy little loser
452
00:18:52,511 --> 00:18:54,103
who'll end up working
in a car wash.
453
00:18:54,180 --> 00:18:58,310
This shouldn't make me
feel better, but it does.
454
00:18:58,384 --> 00:19:00,614
You'll be all right, sweetie.
455
00:19:00,686 --> 00:19:02,551
If you don't make
a big deal out of this
456
00:19:02,621 --> 00:19:04,282
nobody else will either.
457
00:19:04,356 --> 00:19:06,017
And I just can't say enough
458
00:19:06,091 --> 00:19:08,685
about how proud
we should all be of Malcolm
459
00:19:08,761 --> 00:19:10,991
for getting into
the gifted program.
460
00:19:11,063 --> 00:19:13,588
Now Malcolm may not look
different than the rest of us
461
00:19:13,666 --> 00:19:15,190
but he is.
462
00:19:15,267 --> 00:19:17,258
Very different.
463
00:19:17,336 --> 00:19:19,634
In his brain.
464
00:19:19,705 --> 00:19:22,765
And I think we should
recognize him for that.
465
00:19:26,745 --> 00:19:28,110
Bye.
466
00:19:28,180 --> 00:19:30,740
Caroline: All righty,
today we are starting a new section
467
00:19:30,816 --> 00:19:32,408
on the Peloponnesian War
468
00:19:32,485 --> 00:19:35,181
which I know
you are all going to love.
469
00:19:35,254 --> 00:19:37,313
Malcolm?
470
00:19:37,389 --> 00:19:40,415
Are you okay?
471
00:19:41,827 --> 00:19:43,692
Uh, yeah.
472
00:19:43,762 --> 00:19:44,956
Fine.
473
00:19:45,030 --> 00:19:45,962
All right.
474
00:19:46,031 --> 00:19:47,293
Excuse me.
475
00:19:54,940 --> 00:19:56,737
Stop staring at me!
476
00:20:06,552 --> 00:20:07,985
Why do they keep doing that?
477
00:20:08,053 --> 00:20:09,452
You're new.
478
00:20:09,522 --> 00:20:10,454
Oh, great.
479
00:20:10,523 --> 00:20:12,548
So I'm the freak
of the freak show?
480
00:20:12,625 --> 00:20:15,219
Pi to 50 places.
481
00:20:15,294 --> 00:20:18,161
Mark. Set. Go.
482
00:20:18,230 --> 00:20:20,221
3.1 41 592653
483
00:20:20,299 --> 00:20:21,857
5897 93 23--
484
00:20:21,934 --> 00:20:24,232
Turn around,
or I swear to God
485
00:20:24,303 --> 00:20:25,770
I'll kill you.
486
00:20:27,473 --> 00:20:29,532
Just... chill out.
487
00:20:29,608 --> 00:20:30,905
Don't tell me to chill out.
488
00:20:30,976 --> 00:20:32,238
You chill out.
489
00:20:32,311 --> 00:20:33,676
Nobody can live like this.
490
00:20:33,746 --> 00:20:35,714
- I'm okay.
- Oh, sure.
491
00:20:35,781 --> 00:20:38,181
You're okay because it doesn't
make any difference to you.
492
00:20:38,250 --> 00:20:39,717
You've always been a freak.
493
00:20:39,785 --> 00:20:42,083
I used to be normal.
494
00:20:42,154 --> 00:20:44,418
Wait.
Who just said that?
495
00:20:46,659 --> 00:20:48,183
You're going to take that
the wrong way
496
00:20:48,260 --> 00:20:49,227
aren't you?
497
00:20:49,295 --> 00:20:51,263
You...
498
00:20:51,330 --> 00:20:52,922
suck.
499
00:20:58,337 --> 00:21:01,431
It's so cool!
500
00:21:01,507 --> 00:21:04,874
Around here, being smart is
exactly like being radioactive.
501
00:21:18,123 --> 00:21:21,115
I can't believe I'm doing this.
502
00:21:26,332 --> 00:21:28,562
Stevie?
503
00:21:28,634 --> 00:21:30,659
What?
504
00:21:31,971 --> 00:21:34,132
Look
505
00:21:34,206 --> 00:21:37,141
I...
506
00:21:37,209 --> 00:21:38,904
Score!
507
00:21:38,978 --> 00:21:41,446
( Laughing )
508
00:21:41,513 --> 00:21:42,980
Hey, Spath!
509
00:21:43,048 --> 00:21:45,573
Why don't you stop
being such a buttwipe?!
510
00:21:45,651 --> 00:21:47,243
All:
Ooh.
511
00:21:51,323 --> 00:21:52,813
What'd you call me?
512
00:21:52,891 --> 00:21:53,983
You heard me!
513
00:21:54,059 --> 00:21:55,321
I don't care anymore!
514
00:21:55,394 --> 00:21:57,191
I just don't care, Spath, okay?
515
00:21:57,262 --> 00:21:59,594
Alls you ever do
is make everybody miserable!
516
00:21:59,665 --> 00:22:02,031
Except for your little
monkey-slaves over there.
517
00:22:02,101 --> 00:22:04,092
Who, by the way,
only pretend to like you.
518
00:22:04,169 --> 00:22:06,194
They hate you as much
as everyone else does!
519
00:22:06,271 --> 00:22:08,034
And you're just too busy
being mean and stupid
520
00:22:08,107 --> 00:22:09,199
to ever figure it out!
521
00:22:09,274 --> 00:22:12,539
I keep trying to run,
but my legs won't work.
522
00:22:12,611 --> 00:22:15,546
Mom was right:
They are important.
523
00:22:15,614 --> 00:22:16,706
Wow.
524
00:22:16,782 --> 00:22:18,682
I don't know about you
525
00:22:18,751 --> 00:22:21,185
but the Krelboyne
really hurt my feelings.
526
00:22:21,253 --> 00:22:23,050
( Nervous Laughter )
527
00:22:25,224 --> 00:22:26,350
Hey...
528
00:22:26,425 --> 00:22:29,223
Go away, Stevie.
529
00:22:29,294 --> 00:22:30,955
It's good you two are friends.
530
00:22:31,030 --> 00:22:33,624
He won't mind sharing
his wheelchair.
531
00:22:33,699 --> 00:22:37,465
Okay, this is where something
good happens, finally.
532
00:22:37,536 --> 00:22:38,969
So we're going to slow down
533
00:22:39,038 --> 00:22:41,006
and make it last
as long as possible.
534
00:23:15,841 --> 00:23:17,672
( All Gasping )
535
00:23:20,212 --> 00:23:22,339
Dude, you hit a cripple.
536
00:23:24,016 --> 00:23:27,179
( Gasping And Shouting )
537
00:23:27,252 --> 00:23:29,220
I didn't mean to...
I wasn't trying...
538
00:23:29,288 --> 00:23:31,051
Stevie, I'm sorry.
539
00:23:31,123 --> 00:23:33,557
( Stevie Groaning )
540
00:23:33,625 --> 00:23:36,389
Ow...
541
00:23:36,462 --> 00:23:39,260
aah...
542
00:23:39,331 --> 00:23:40,923
ow!
543
00:23:40,999 --> 00:23:42,728
What's your problem?
544
00:23:42,801 --> 00:23:45,235
I mean, he's in a wheelchair
and he has glasses.
545
00:23:54,646 --> 00:23:56,113
So then, the principal comes out
546
00:23:56,181 --> 00:23:58,274
and everyone's
all talking at once.
547
00:23:58,350 --> 00:23:59,749
So the story he puts together
548
00:23:59,818 --> 00:24:01,911
is that Spath attacks Stevie
for his lunch
549
00:24:01,987 --> 00:24:04,353
and I'm like this hero
that stepped in to defend him.
550
00:24:04,423 --> 00:24:06,857
It was beautiful.
551
00:24:06,925 --> 00:24:10,361
Okay, it wasn't funny
when Spath started crying.
552
00:24:10,429 --> 00:24:13,057
No, wait, it was.
553
00:24:14,399 --> 00:24:17,197
Dad's hair... ugh.
554
00:24:17,269 --> 00:24:20,261
Yeah, I know. It's gross.
555
00:24:20,339 --> 00:24:22,273
But, hey, if a bunch of birds
556
00:24:22,341 --> 00:24:24,206
can make the best
out of what they get
557
00:24:24,276 --> 00:24:25,368
then so can I.
558
00:24:25,444 --> 00:24:26,376
Dewey:
Malcolm?
559
00:24:26,445 --> 00:24:28,037
Like having to go to special class.
560
00:24:28,113 --> 00:24:30,206
I can make it work out, right?
561
00:24:30,282 --> 00:24:31,544
Malcolm?
562
00:24:31,617 --> 00:24:32,709
Not now!
563
00:24:32,785 --> 00:24:33,877
Or my family.
564
00:24:33,952 --> 00:24:35,886
We're not the greatest family
in the world
565
00:24:35,954 --> 00:24:37,546
but we can get better.
566
00:24:37,623 --> 00:24:39,090
I mean, it's not impossible.
567
00:24:39,158 --> 00:24:40,090
Malcolm?
568
00:24:40,159 --> 00:24:41,217
What?!
569
00:24:41,293 --> 00:24:42,385
Can I get out?
570
00:24:42,461 --> 00:24:43,826
No, stop asking.
571
00:24:43,896 --> 00:24:47,059
So basically, I think
everything's going to be okay.
572
00:24:47,132 --> 00:24:48,224
( Pounding )
573
00:24:48,300 --> 00:24:50,234
A bug went up my nose.
574
00:24:50,302 --> 00:24:52,167
So what do you want me to do
about it?
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
www.tvsubtitles.net
38498
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese