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1
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Amazingly I'm pregnant.
2
00:00:01,500 --> 00:00:04,100
- Judith's pregnant.
- Is it yours?
3
00:00:04,120 --> 00:00:05,660
Yes! She's not slept
with anyone else.
4
00:00:05,680 --> 00:00:07,220
Robbie's got this new girlfriend.
5
00:00:07,240 --> 00:00:09,380
Hellooo! I'm Cheryl, how do you do?
6
00:00:09,400 --> 00:00:11,220
She's moving in with him,
apparently. Right.
7
00:00:11,240 --> 00:00:13,980
Can I go and live with my dad?
I don't think that's a good idea.
8
00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:16,460
Have you not got a date sorted yet?
It's her sister.
9
00:00:16,480 --> 00:00:18,740
She can't decide if she wants her
at t'wedding or not.
10
00:00:18,760 --> 00:00:20,100
Alan Buttershaw!
11
00:00:20,120 --> 00:00:22,740
He's gone and invited Ted.
His brother.
12
00:00:22,760 --> 00:00:25,380
Mum. Dad went out.
Can you come and get me?
13
00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:28,820
I've offered to organise the wedding
for them. And I said you'd help me.
14
00:00:28,840 --> 00:00:30,660
Lawrence! Where is Lawrence?
15
00:00:30,680 --> 00:00:32,580
Don't tell me something
you'll regret.
16
00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:34,800
I murdered him - Eddy.
17
00:01:33,840 --> 00:01:35,160
Caroline?
18
00:01:37,480 --> 00:01:38,760
Caroline.
19
00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:42,640
Caroline. Caroline.
20
00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:48,680
I made you some tea. Caroline.
21
00:01:49,920 --> 00:01:52,440
What time is it? Ten to seven.
22
00:01:55,680 --> 00:01:57,000
Caroline...
23
00:01:59,560 --> 00:02:01,160
Are you all right?
24
00:02:05,480 --> 00:02:07,400
I told you things.
25
00:02:11,040 --> 00:02:12,560
Are you angry?
26
00:02:13,760 --> 00:02:15,160
Do you hate me?
27
00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:18,520
Speak to me.
28
00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:23,920
I need to know...
29
00:02:25,040 --> 00:02:27,240
..if you're going
to go to the police.
30
00:02:31,080 --> 00:02:32,560
Why did you tell me?
31
00:02:34,080 --> 00:02:35,320
I don't know.
32
00:02:36,960 --> 00:02:38,800
You told me what he did to you.
33
00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:42,200
The other "humiliations".
34
00:02:43,200 --> 00:02:45,120
Nobody should have to
live like that.
35
00:02:46,160 --> 00:02:49,360
And you never...
ever told anyone else?
36
00:02:50,720 --> 00:02:51,960
Ever?
37
00:02:53,400 --> 00:02:56,640
Me dad...knows I...
38
00:02:59,720 --> 00:03:02,660
..smacked him round the head
to finish him off.
39
00:03:02,680 --> 00:03:05,320
But he thought he'd been trying
to commit suicide.
40
00:03:06,440 --> 00:03:08,860
Because that's what I told him,
so...
41
00:03:08,880 --> 00:03:11,460
He didn't know the things
he did to me.
42
00:03:11,480 --> 00:03:12,680
My dad didn't.
43
00:03:13,720 --> 00:03:15,200
I think he...
44
00:03:17,560 --> 00:03:19,840
..knew I wasn't having much fun.
45
00:03:21,280 --> 00:03:22,600
But....
46
00:03:24,080 --> 00:03:26,120
..I never told anyone that before.
47
00:03:28,320 --> 00:03:30,880
I... I couldn't.
48
00:03:34,400 --> 00:03:36,920
If I hadn't done it to him,
Caroline...
49
00:03:39,280 --> 00:03:41,120
..he'd have done it to me.
50
00:03:44,560 --> 00:03:47,300
I think perhaps we should
never mention it again.
51
00:03:47,320 --> 00:03:50,120
I think perhaps we should pretend
you never told me.
52
00:03:51,520 --> 00:03:52,800
Right.
53
00:04:02,080 --> 00:04:04,580
Did you sleep well? I didn't.
54
00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:07,140
I couldn't, not with all this
buzzing about in my head.
55
00:04:07,160 --> 00:04:08,660
Could you eat a kipper, Alan?
56
00:04:08,680 --> 00:04:12,960
No! I think I'm sufficiently
sophonsified. Thank you.
57
00:04:15,720 --> 00:04:19,740
Had you thought about...
Well, not a hen-party, Celia -
58
00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:22,680
I know that's not very you -
but something the evening before?
59
00:04:23,720 --> 00:04:24,860
Like?
60
00:04:24,880 --> 00:04:27,900
Well, you can't spend the evening
together, can you, beforehand?
61
00:04:27,920 --> 00:04:31,100
Can't we? Why not?
We did first time we got wed.
62
00:04:31,120 --> 00:04:32,660
Well, it's not what you do.
63
00:04:32,680 --> 00:04:36,420
Well...me and Alan don't always
play by the rules, do we, Alan?
64
00:04:36,440 --> 00:04:39,020
Not if we can help it.
We like to think laterally.
65
00:04:39,040 --> 00:04:41,500
Outside t'box.
We're forever pushing the envelope.
66
00:04:41,520 --> 00:04:44,620
So you'll be stopping in, then?
Together? Do you fancy a stag night,
Alan?
67
00:04:44,640 --> 00:04:48,140
Like in a lap-dancing club,
with strippers and so on? Yeah.
68
00:04:48,160 --> 00:04:50,460
Do YOU? I could do. With the girls.
69
00:04:50,480 --> 00:04:54,100
That what you had in mind,
Muriel? It's not... No, I said...
70
00:04:54,120 --> 00:04:56,980
Do they do lap-dancing with fellas?
Probably.
71
00:04:57,000 --> 00:05:00,340
Is that the same as polo dancing?
No, it isn't.
72
00:05:00,360 --> 00:05:03,400
Do you mean pole dancing?
Ooh! How do you know?
73
00:05:04,400 --> 00:05:07,080
No, that's not what I had in mind.
74
00:05:08,120 --> 00:05:10,400
I don't think you'd...
'Ey, Google it.
75
00:05:11,560 --> 00:05:16,620
A sleazy night in Amsterdam!
What more could a woman ask for?
76
00:05:16,640 --> 00:05:20,600
I did start off the conversation
by saying... Making assumptions.
77
00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:25,540
I don't mind going to Amsterdam for
the art galleries if that's more...
78
00:05:25,560 --> 00:05:29,700
Oh! Bugger the art galleries!
They'll be full of them daubs
79
00:05:29,720 --> 00:05:32,580
by that twerp who
chopped his ear off.
80
00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:36,660
This is my hen night we're talking
about. What you thinking, Alan?
81
00:05:36,680 --> 00:05:39,700
Personally, well,
I've been there, fallen over,
82
00:05:39,720 --> 00:05:42,180
got t'T-shirt, but if YOU fancy it...
83
00:05:42,200 --> 00:05:44,260
Amsterdam? Have you?
84
00:05:44,280 --> 00:05:47,520
Yeah. More than once.
So you'd recommend it? Oh!
85
00:05:52,040 --> 00:05:53,800
I wonder why you told me.
86
00:05:55,160 --> 00:05:56,800
Did you think you'd feel better?
87
00:05:58,640 --> 00:06:00,340
I don't know.
88
00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:01,760
Do you?
89
00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:09,400
Do you wish I hadn't told you?
90
00:06:11,240 --> 00:06:13,720
I suppose you told me
because you needed to.
91
00:06:15,920 --> 00:06:18,960
You needed to tell someone.
I'm just wondering why it was me.
92
00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:21,360
Because...
93
00:06:23,680 --> 00:06:25,120
..you were here.
94
00:06:26,160 --> 00:06:27,660
Because I was drunk.
95
00:06:27,680 --> 00:06:29,560
(Do you want me to turn you in?)
96
00:06:31,360 --> 00:06:33,700
Is that why you told me? No.
97
00:06:33,720 --> 00:06:35,520
No.
98
00:06:39,360 --> 00:06:41,640
I've buggered everything up,
haven't I?
99
00:06:44,360 --> 00:06:47,560
We could've been friends, and I...
You had a lot to deal with.
100
00:06:49,480 --> 00:06:51,760
You were trapped in a marriage
with a man who...
101
00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:57,520
We are friends.
102
00:06:59,160 --> 00:07:01,320
You told me because you needed to.
103
00:07:04,760 --> 00:07:06,160
I'm not going to turn you in.
104
00:07:07,320 --> 00:07:09,280
I'm not going to turn you in,
all right?
105
00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:13,320
Are you sure?
106
00:07:14,760 --> 00:07:16,120
Yeah.
107
00:07:17,200 --> 00:07:18,600
Really?
108
00:07:20,720 --> 00:07:22,160
(Yeah.)
109
00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:28,820
Drive carefully! Yep, we will!
110
00:07:28,840 --> 00:07:32,780
Like she cares.
Do you fancy a stag night?
111
00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:35,540
Text me to let me know
you've got back safely!
112
00:07:35,560 --> 00:07:37,660
Right-o! Like hell...
113
00:07:37,680 --> 00:07:41,940
Well, I wouldn't mind going for
a pint up Spring Rock with Harry
114
00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:44,540
and 'appen our Raff.
I could do a bit of something.
115
00:07:44,560 --> 00:07:46,820
Me and Caroline and Gillian.
116
00:07:46,840 --> 00:07:50,780
And I could even invite HER -
Muriel.
117
00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:52,400
A laugh an hour(!)
118
00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:54,980
Ta-ta!
119
00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:56,300
Bye!
120
00:07:56,320 --> 00:07:59,420
Have you been to Amsterdam?
Were you lying?
121
00:07:59,440 --> 00:08:01,120
No, have you?
122
00:08:13,600 --> 00:08:15,800
Are you sure you're fit to drive?
123
00:08:17,040 --> 00:08:18,680
Not entirely.
124
00:08:20,480 --> 00:08:21,700
What about you?
125
00:08:21,720 --> 00:08:23,840
God knows.
126
00:08:25,160 --> 00:08:27,280
Better get my telephone.
127
00:08:33,560 --> 00:08:36,400
I'm sorry. It was difficult, I...
Piss off.
128
00:08:39,440 --> 00:08:40,900
Thanks for ringing.
129
00:08:40,920 --> 00:08:45,100
Where did you find him?
I didn't. He rang me. He was upset.
130
00:08:45,120 --> 00:08:47,300
I asked him to ring you,
to leave a message at least,
131
00:08:47,320 --> 00:08:49,820
to say he was spending the night
at my house, but he wouldn't.
132
00:08:49,840 --> 00:08:54,560
And he wouldn't give me your number,
and I couldn't get hold of Caroline.
Neither could he. That's why...
133
00:08:55,560 --> 00:08:56,880
Anyway...
134
00:08:57,880 --> 00:09:00,520
I had to go out. Sure.
It was difficult.
135
00:09:02,280 --> 00:09:04,160
So, Caroline...
136
00:09:05,560 --> 00:09:07,780
..doesn't know...anything?
137
00:09:07,800 --> 00:09:11,460
Well, I think she will when
she finally picks up her messages.
138
00:09:11,480 --> 00:09:13,520
He left several, I left one.
139
00:09:19,240 --> 00:09:22,300
Hello? 'Where's Lawrence?!'
He's fine, he's fine.
140
00:09:22,320 --> 00:09:24,180
He's absolutely fine, he's here.
141
00:09:24,200 --> 00:09:26,540
He's playing on the Xbox.
'Well, what happened?'
142
00:09:26,560 --> 00:09:29,820
Nothing happened, it was just
a silly misunderstanding.
143
00:09:29,840 --> 00:09:31,840
A storm in a teacup, that's all.
144
00:09:37,320 --> 00:09:38,960
No problem, any time.
145
00:09:42,920 --> 00:09:47,300
You're an idiot.
I have one single evening to myself
and I can't even trust you for that!
146
00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:49,220
He's absolutely fine. 'God Almighty!'
147
00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:53,340
Why weren't you answering YOUR phone?
Because I lost it! Don't blame me!
148
00:09:53,360 --> 00:09:55,740
'I want to speak to him.'
He's playing on the Xbox.
149
00:09:55,760 --> 00:09:57,620
Well, where did he sleep?
150
00:09:57,640 --> 00:09:59,180
What happened?
151
00:09:59,200 --> 00:10:01,980
At Kate's, he slept at Kate's house.
Kate's?!
152
00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:04,860
He...apparently...rang William
153
00:10:04,880 --> 00:10:08,140
cos he couldn't get hold of anyone,
and William suggested ringing her.
154
00:10:08,160 --> 00:10:10,100
He had her number on his phone.
155
00:10:10,120 --> 00:10:11,940
Er, William did.
156
00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:14,340
She's just dropped him off, just now.
157
00:10:14,360 --> 00:10:18,540
Right. Well, I'll be back
in an hour. Less.
158
00:10:18,560 --> 00:10:20,680
Is Kate still there? No.
159
00:10:22,960 --> 00:10:24,540
Drive carefully.
160
00:10:24,560 --> 00:10:26,500
Jerk.
161
00:10:26,520 --> 00:10:28,520
Are you all right? Yup.
162
00:10:30,160 --> 00:10:31,580
I'm going to go.
163
00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:32,940
OK.
164
00:10:32,960 --> 00:10:34,900
Look after yourself. And you.
165
00:10:34,920 --> 00:10:36,480
Sorry, but...
166
00:10:38,560 --> 00:10:40,000
..can I just say...
167
00:10:41,280 --> 00:10:43,860
..I think you're right
about you and Robbie.
168
00:10:43,880 --> 00:10:46,440
I know. I really like him.
169
00:10:47,840 --> 00:10:49,120
No, I meant...
170
00:10:50,200 --> 00:10:53,540
You said it could never be
a good idea, you and him.
Don't you remember?
171
00:10:53,560 --> 00:10:56,760
Last night? It was how the
conversation - how it all started,
why you told me.
172
00:10:57,760 --> 00:10:59,020
Right, OK, yeah.
173
00:10:59,040 --> 00:11:03,460
Move on. You're a nice person,
you're a good mother, you work hard.
174
00:11:03,480 --> 00:11:06,360
Something appalling happened,
you dealt with it, but move on.
175
00:11:07,680 --> 00:11:08,900
Yeah.
176
00:11:08,920 --> 00:11:11,500
Promise me? If I'm keeping
this secret, promise me,
177
00:11:11,520 --> 00:11:15,180
because that would be one hell
of a can of worms, you and him.
Surely you can see that.
178
00:11:15,200 --> 00:11:17,080
Yeah, course. Sorry, you're right.
179
00:11:57,800 --> 00:11:59,780
I thought I'd make some lunch
for him.
180
00:11:59,800 --> 00:12:01,840
And you if you want some.
181
00:12:02,880 --> 00:12:04,500
Are you all right?
182
00:12:04,520 --> 00:12:05,820
He all right?
183
00:12:05,840 --> 00:12:07,660
He's absolutely fine.
184
00:12:07,680 --> 00:12:10,700
It's just soup and bread and cheese.
185
00:12:10,720 --> 00:12:13,000
Shouldn't you be looking
after Judith?
186
00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:16,500
She won't get rid of it.
187
00:12:16,520 --> 00:12:19,020
And I don't want to encourage her
by pretending that I think
188
00:12:19,040 --> 00:12:20,260
it's a good idea.
189
00:12:20,280 --> 00:12:21,900
I mean, what kind of life
would it have?
190
00:12:21,920 --> 00:12:23,980
You'll be divorced soon,
you could marry her.
191
00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:26,600
Mm, well,
that won't be happening.
192
00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:29,700
It's sad...
193
00:12:29,720 --> 00:12:32,580
to think of all the things
we got wrong.
194
00:12:32,600 --> 00:12:35,080
We often used to get a lot
right as well.
195
00:12:47,640 --> 00:12:49,500
I came to say thank you.
196
00:12:49,520 --> 00:12:50,980
You didn't have to do that.
197
00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:52,340
I left my phone in a hotel.
198
00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:56,580
Gillian and I, we're organising
the wedding, my mum's wedding,
199
00:12:56,600 --> 00:12:59,460
so that's why I didn't answer it.
200
00:12:59,480 --> 00:13:01,020
Is Lawrence all right?
201
00:13:01,040 --> 00:13:04,340
Yeah, he's fine.
202
00:13:04,360 --> 00:13:07,860
I've left him so I'd...better
get back.
203
00:13:07,880 --> 00:13:09,080
OK.
204
00:13:10,560 --> 00:13:12,380
Can I come in?
205
00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:14,360
I CAN say it on the doorstep.
206
00:13:15,680 --> 00:13:16,860
All right...
207
00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:19,240
No, come in.
208
00:13:27,160 --> 00:13:28,960
Have you...
209
00:13:30,560 --> 00:13:32,500
..got a birthing partner?
210
00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:35,220
My mum said she would.
211
00:13:35,240 --> 00:13:36,960
If I needed someone.
212
00:13:38,920 --> 00:13:43,180
What about Greg, what about him?
213
00:13:43,200 --> 00:13:44,700
No.
214
00:13:44,720 --> 00:13:47,600
He really never was
part of the equation beyond...
215
00:13:49,440 --> 00:13:51,540
Anyone else?
No.
216
00:13:51,560 --> 00:13:52,760
Sorry.
217
00:13:59,560 --> 00:14:02,920
I just had a really weird night
with Gillian. She told me...
218
00:14:04,720 --> 00:14:07,300
She told me what her husband
used to do to her.
219
00:14:07,320 --> 00:14:09,800
He committed suicide,
but before that.
220
00:14:11,080 --> 00:14:12,580
She never told anyone before,
221
00:14:12,600 --> 00:14:15,900
she's never been able to
talk about it before, but...
222
00:14:15,920 --> 00:14:17,900
she told me things.
223
00:14:17,920 --> 00:14:20,580
He raped her, he did things.
Things you couldn't...
224
00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:22,780
Humiliating things.
225
00:14:22,800 --> 00:14:24,400
Jesus.
226
00:14:27,240 --> 00:14:29,220
And this is a big bloke.
227
00:14:29,240 --> 00:14:32,600
Not that it'd take a big bloke,
she's tiny, Gillian.
228
00:14:34,480 --> 00:14:37,020
He pinned her down,
and she couldn't do anything
229
00:14:37,040 --> 00:14:39,260
so she just took it,
because she had to.
230
00:14:39,280 --> 00:14:41,680
Why? I mean, why did he...?
231
00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:45,460
It's control.
232
00:14:45,480 --> 00:14:47,940
It's power.
233
00:14:47,960 --> 00:14:49,760
Why do they ever?
234
00:14:52,040 --> 00:14:56,360
He was a bully, he was a prick.
He was just an inadequate prick.
235
00:15:00,040 --> 00:15:02,300
I think she told me because
we drank too much and
236
00:15:02,320 --> 00:15:05,980
we were telling each other things,
and the point is,
237
00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:08,380
apart from the fact that
it was a really weird evening,
238
00:15:08,400 --> 00:15:10,840
the point is I realised that...
239
00:15:12,280 --> 00:15:17,420
..amidst all the disappointment
and complexity
240
00:15:17,440 --> 00:15:22,780
and mundanity and madness
of the day-to-day,
241
00:15:22,800 --> 00:15:26,560
we had something really nice
that happened between us.
242
00:15:30,520 --> 00:15:32,620
I know you've made up
your mind about me
243
00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:35,180
and I know I leave a lot to be
desired sometimes
244
00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:37,960
but I decided it was worth...
245
00:15:40,080 --> 00:15:43,160
..one more time asking...
246
00:15:44,840 --> 00:15:47,420
..saying I'm sorry for
all the things I got wrong
247
00:15:47,440 --> 00:15:51,680
and I will try,
I would try harder.
248
00:15:54,840 --> 00:15:56,700
No.
249
00:15:56,720 --> 00:15:58,320
Thank you.
250
00:16:35,760 --> 00:16:40,460
So, the plan is I drive
our car to Hebden.
251
00:16:40,480 --> 00:16:43,340
No, we both drive our cars to Hebden.
252
00:16:43,360 --> 00:16:45,540
We leave mine - ours - there.
253
00:16:45,560 --> 00:16:47,380
Or his, one or t'other, and
254
00:16:47,400 --> 00:16:51,340
drive back to Souby Bridge Wharf
in the other one, whichever.
255
00:16:51,360 --> 00:16:57,060
Then set off in t'narrow boat
up through Luddenden and Mytholmroyd
256
00:16:57,080 --> 00:17:01,100
to Hebden, spend the night
in Hebden, go for a nice meal...
257
00:17:01,120 --> 00:17:02,180
Piss-up.
258
00:17:02,200 --> 00:17:03,740
Meal. Meal.
259
00:17:03,760 --> 00:17:07,220
We'd have all our stuff on board
ready, morning suits,
260
00:17:07,240 --> 00:17:11,540
top hats, the ring, then
drive straight to t'hotel
261
00:17:11,560 --> 00:17:14,140
from Hebden in our car.
262
00:17:14,160 --> 00:17:17,060
Or whichever car
we've left in Hebden,
263
00:17:17,080 --> 00:17:20,420
and be at the hotel bang on 10:00am.
264
00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:22,620
So, that works.
265
00:17:22,640 --> 00:17:26,140
You're not seriously going to spend
a night in that...crate?
266
00:17:26,160 --> 00:17:30,140
Hey, Celia. You won't recognise it
in a few short weeks.
267
00:17:30,160 --> 00:17:33,060
We're talking total refurbishment.
Inside and out.
268
00:17:33,080 --> 00:17:36,500
My imagination's not quite
as fertile as yours.
269
00:17:36,520 --> 00:17:40,500
Well, you'll have a nice evening
with your Caroline and our Gillian
270
00:17:40,520 --> 00:17:42,380
and your Muriel, won't you?
271
00:17:42,400 --> 00:17:45,320
Yeah! We're going paintballing.
272
00:17:46,320 --> 00:17:48,100
Seriously?
Are you?
273
00:17:48,120 --> 00:17:49,240
Can we come?
274
00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:54,380
My only regret marrying Alan now
275
00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:59,580
is that we didn't get that
bungalow up Ripponden Bank.
276
00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:02,100
There'll be others.
277
00:18:02,120 --> 00:18:05,320
Do you think John would
give me away?
278
00:18:06,720 --> 00:18:07,940
John?
279
00:18:07,960 --> 00:18:10,940
Well, who else can I ask?
280
00:18:10,960 --> 00:18:12,460
Do you need giving away?
281
00:18:12,480 --> 00:18:14,260
Well, it's traditional.
282
00:18:14,280 --> 00:18:17,900
Mum, you don't like John.
You've never liked him.
283
00:18:17,920 --> 00:18:21,500
I'm surprised you're even
thinking about inviting him.
284
00:18:21,520 --> 00:18:23,300
You'll be inviting Judith next.
285
00:18:23,320 --> 00:18:25,180
I bloody won't.
286
00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:28,420
Well, Harry's doing a speech
about Alan,
287
00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:30,100
and traditionally, before that,
288
00:18:30,120 --> 00:18:33,260
the father of the bride
does one about the bride,
289
00:18:33,280 --> 00:18:35,860
and, you see, for all his
being a waste of space,
290
00:18:35,880 --> 00:18:39,060
I thought that might be something
John'd be quite good at,
291
00:18:39,080 --> 00:18:40,660
making a speech.
292
00:18:40,680 --> 00:18:42,580
Wouldn't you be worried
he might say things
293
00:18:42,600 --> 00:18:44,500
you'd rather people didn't hear?
294
00:18:44,520 --> 00:18:45,820
Like what?
295
00:18:45,840 --> 00:18:48,340
Well, there was that time you
slapped him across the face
296
00:18:48,360 --> 00:18:50,660
over at the farm.
Oh, yeah.
297
00:18:50,680 --> 00:18:53,260
I shan't tell them about that time
you fell down that man-hole
298
00:18:53,280 --> 00:18:55,020
in the snow when
you'd been on the razzle.
299
00:18:55,040 --> 00:18:56,340
It should've been better lit.
300
00:18:56,360 --> 00:18:58,540
Then that time you nearly
choked to death laughing
301
00:18:58,560 --> 00:19:00,740
when he snapped all the tendons
in his ankle
302
00:19:00,760 --> 00:19:03,060
falling off that jetty in
Porta Pollenca.
303
00:19:03,080 --> 00:19:05,620
That was comical.
304
00:19:05,640 --> 00:19:08,460
Or that time you drove t'wrong way
round Bull Green roundabout
305
00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:10,660
in Halifax when you came
back from t'Continent.
306
00:19:10,680 --> 00:19:12,020
That were quite exciting!
307
00:19:12,040 --> 00:19:14,540
And then that Christmas
when you let all his tyres down,
308
00:19:14,560 --> 00:19:16,860
when you both got drunk
together on barley wine
309
00:19:16,880 --> 00:19:18,420
and he called you a rancid old bag.
310
00:19:18,440 --> 00:19:20,760
Oh, I don't think
he ever knew that was me.
311
00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:24,660
Oh! He did.
312
00:19:24,680 --> 00:19:27,220
Or that time you got caught
shagging that sheep.
313
00:19:27,240 --> 00:19:30,100
Hey.
It's not funny.
314
00:19:30,120 --> 00:19:32,140
Our Gillian once caught a lad...
315
00:19:32,160 --> 00:19:33,540
I know, she told me.
316
00:19:33,560 --> 00:19:37,880
Funny thing was he kept coming back
to see the same sheep.
317
00:19:39,160 --> 00:19:43,220
Well, there was that fella in India
married his dog.
318
00:19:43,240 --> 00:19:47,100
Which, to be fair,
I can see the advantages.
319
00:19:47,120 --> 00:19:49,420
Eh? You wouldn't have a dog going,
"Where you going?",
320
00:19:49,440 --> 00:19:51,060
"You're not going dressed
like that,"
321
00:19:51,080 --> 00:19:53,220
"Don't you dare bring any of your
mates home again,
322
00:19:53,240 --> 00:19:54,820
"not in that state."
323
00:19:54,840 --> 00:19:58,680
Oh, bugger off, go live somewhere
else if you don't like it.
324
00:19:59,880 --> 00:20:03,800
You must miss her though, Edith.
325
00:20:05,360 --> 00:20:09,740
Are you sure you want to get wed
again? No, I'm just thinking.
326
00:20:09,760 --> 00:20:13,580
It's probably part of my duties
as your best man to make you stop
327
00:20:13,600 --> 00:20:17,420
and think is this what you want?
328
00:20:17,440 --> 00:20:19,180
What you really, really want?
329
00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:21,380
You're going to get sacked
if you carry on like that.
330
00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:23,620
I'd have made a good Spice Girl, me.
331
00:20:23,640 --> 00:20:24,980
Manly Spice.
332
00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:26,460
Old Spice.
333
00:20:26,480 --> 00:20:29,540
You're just jealous. Yeah,
you keep telling yourself that.
334
00:20:29,560 --> 00:20:32,520
Hey, what about your speech?
335
00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:36,100
Dad?
336
00:20:36,120 --> 00:20:37,480
Hello, love.
337
00:20:39,080 --> 00:20:41,300
Have you remembered
what day it is tomorrow?
338
00:20:41,320 --> 00:20:44,140
Is it Sunday?
339
00:20:44,160 --> 00:20:47,180
Yeah, it's...Mum's birthday.
340
00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:50,380
Aye! So it is. Yes.
341
00:20:50,400 --> 00:20:52,980
Yes. Yes, I did know that.
342
00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:55,980
I thought we might take Calamity
up to see her.
343
00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:58,360
Yes. Yes, we should,
she'd like that.
344
00:21:03,400 --> 00:21:05,660
Shame that bungalow fell through.
345
00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:07,020
What bungalow?
346
00:21:07,040 --> 00:21:08,460
That one up Ripponden Bank.
347
00:21:08,480 --> 00:21:10,620
That one you and Celia
put the offer in on.
348
00:21:10,640 --> 00:21:13,100
I thought you weren't right keen.
349
00:21:13,120 --> 00:21:14,860
Me?
350
00:21:14,880 --> 00:21:18,440
"Chucking money away on
dozy big bungalows."
351
00:21:19,520 --> 00:21:21,940
I was lashing out.
352
00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:23,580
I didn't mean it.
353
00:21:23,600 --> 00:21:25,780
Not if it was what you wanted.
354
00:21:25,800 --> 00:21:28,220
I'm not entirely sure it was.
355
00:21:28,240 --> 00:21:29,740
What do you mean?
356
00:21:29,760 --> 00:21:32,540
It was my fault we didn't get it.
357
00:21:32,560 --> 00:21:34,180
Sorry?
358
00:21:34,200 --> 00:21:36,180
She doesn't know.
359
00:21:36,200 --> 00:21:37,740
What do you mean?
360
00:21:37,760 --> 00:21:42,460
Well, when Darren and Kimberley said
they couldn't raise a mortgage,
361
00:21:42,480 --> 00:21:45,460
I didn't have the heart to serve 'em
notice to quit.
362
00:21:45,480 --> 00:21:50,020
It looked like adding insult
to injury, so
363
00:21:50,040 --> 00:21:53,440
I never actually put
the house on the open market.
364
00:21:54,440 --> 00:21:57,780
No, I kept meaning to,
but then them other folk came in
365
00:21:57,800 --> 00:21:59,900
with that other offer
on the bungalow,
366
00:21:59,920 --> 00:22:01,880
and then it was too late.
367
00:22:03,440 --> 00:22:05,500
We'll find somewhere,
eventually.
368
00:22:05,520 --> 00:22:08,660
Well, you won't.
369
00:22:08,680 --> 00:22:12,580
Not till you actually do put yours
on the open market.
370
00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:14,860
Darren and Kimberley'll
find somewhere else!
371
00:22:14,880 --> 00:22:18,520
You'd give 'em fair warning.
Yeah, I know, but it's just...
372
00:22:20,520 --> 00:22:22,740
If I'd got me finger out
and faced it,
373
00:22:22,760 --> 00:22:24,940
we could've been sitting there now.
374
00:22:24,960 --> 00:22:28,420
She fair had her heart set on it.
375
00:22:28,440 --> 00:22:32,600
Trouble is, Dad,
you're just too nice a fella.
376
00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:39,200
What about you and Robbie, then?
377
00:22:42,760 --> 00:22:44,600
Not worth talking about.
378
00:22:46,440 --> 00:22:48,340
I'm going to go
and look at Uncle Norman.
379
00:22:48,360 --> 00:22:49,680
All right.
380
00:23:12,280 --> 00:23:15,880
Now then, old lass,
I've got summat to tell you.
381
00:23:19,560 --> 00:23:21,300
I'm getting wed again.
382
00:23:21,320 --> 00:23:23,240
I hope that's all right.
383
00:23:24,360 --> 00:23:26,400
I hope you don't mind.
384
00:23:28,040 --> 00:23:29,080
I think...
385
00:23:30,480 --> 00:23:34,540
Well, we always said life
was for living, didn't we?
386
00:23:34,560 --> 00:23:36,480
And when you're gone...
387
00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:40,520
I just...
388
00:23:41,560 --> 00:23:43,660
I hope...
389
00:23:43,680 --> 00:23:45,420
I know you were very young
390
00:23:45,440 --> 00:23:48,720
when you didn't pass that
letter on to me, Celia's letter.
391
00:23:49,880 --> 00:23:52,180
And I'm flattered!
392
00:23:52,200 --> 00:23:55,040
I'm flattered that you
thought so much of me.
393
00:23:57,760 --> 00:24:01,120
And I don't regret anything.
394
00:24:02,120 --> 00:24:05,160
What'd be the point?
I don't, anyway.
395
00:24:06,560 --> 00:24:08,120
I just...
396
00:24:10,280 --> 00:24:14,740
I hope you would be pleased for me.
397
00:24:14,760 --> 00:24:19,840
I think...I need to know
I have your blessing.
398
00:24:54,520 --> 00:24:56,040
Is he tidy?
399
00:24:57,120 --> 00:24:58,600
Yeah.
400
00:25:00,680 --> 00:25:02,160
19.
401
00:25:03,200 --> 00:25:05,180
Mad. Aye.
402
00:25:05,200 --> 00:25:07,700
She was ten, me mother,
when he died.
403
00:25:07,720 --> 00:25:09,700
Course, she couldn't get to go
and see him.
404
00:25:09,720 --> 00:25:11,940
They'd managed to get him home
405
00:25:11,960 --> 00:25:15,900
to a military hospital in Leicester,
that's where he died.
406
00:25:15,920 --> 00:25:18,520
Me granny went down, his mum,
my mother's mum.
407
00:25:19,800 --> 00:25:22,320
Sat by his bedside two days.
408
00:25:23,560 --> 00:25:27,380
He'd had his spine shot out.
409
00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:30,460
Couldn't feel anything apparently.
410
00:25:30,480 --> 00:25:31,520
So...
411
00:25:33,520 --> 00:25:38,080
Anyway, I promised me mum
I'd keep him tidy.
412
00:25:43,120 --> 00:25:45,320
I'll see you by the car.
413
00:26:53,640 --> 00:26:56,300
Caroline! Sorry.
414
00:26:56,320 --> 00:26:59,420
Kate's driven herself into hospital.
415
00:26:59,440 --> 00:27:00,900
She's bleeding.
416
00:27:00,920 --> 00:27:03,020
I didn't know if you'd want me
to tell you or not...
417
00:27:03,040 --> 00:27:05,660
Which hospital? You've got
meetings, and most of them
418
00:27:05,680 --> 00:27:09,600
we won't be able to reschedule now
till after Christmas!
419
00:27:32,760 --> 00:27:34,220
It might be fine.
420
00:27:34,240 --> 00:27:37,500
It doesn't always mean
what you think it means.
421
00:27:37,520 --> 00:27:39,460
No, I think...
422
00:27:39,480 --> 00:27:41,580
I think if you're bleeding
that's usually it.
423
00:27:41,600 --> 00:27:44,160
Yes, but not always,
and you're 20...
424
00:27:45,360 --> 00:27:48,000
How many weeks?
It'd be very unusual.
425
00:27:49,160 --> 00:27:51,060
I've kept thinking...
426
00:27:51,080 --> 00:27:54,300
for a few days that there
wasn't as much movement.
427
00:27:54,320 --> 00:27:56,020
Have you rung your mum?
428
00:27:56,040 --> 00:27:59,100
I don't want to upset her.
Till we know something definite.
429
00:27:59,120 --> 00:28:00,700
Kate McKenzie?
430
00:28:00,720 --> 00:28:02,640
Would you like to come through?
431
00:28:05,400 --> 00:28:07,900
Do you want me to...
432
00:28:07,920 --> 00:28:09,100
come in with you?
433
00:28:09,120 --> 00:28:10,480
Will you?
434
00:28:23,440 --> 00:28:25,960
There wasn't a lot of blood.
435
00:28:27,040 --> 00:28:28,800
It was just...
Sh.
436
00:28:40,360 --> 00:28:43,560
It's fine. It's absolutely fine.
437
00:28:45,520 --> 00:28:48,540
That's the head there. Can you see?
438
00:28:48,560 --> 00:28:51,540
There's... That's the heart, beating.
439
00:28:51,560 --> 00:28:53,940
I'll just take a few measurements
while we're here,
440
00:28:53,960 --> 00:28:56,740
but it all looks absolutely
lovely in there.
441
00:28:56,760 --> 00:28:59,100
It's just one of those things,
it happens.
442
00:28:59,120 --> 00:29:03,300
You did right to come in,
but, yeah, you're both fine.
443
00:29:03,320 --> 00:29:05,540
Thank you.
444
00:29:05,560 --> 00:29:07,460
Can you see what sex it is?
445
00:29:07,480 --> 00:29:09,660
Well...I can give you a clue.
446
00:29:09,680 --> 00:29:11,660
It doesn't appear to have
any testicles.
447
00:29:11,680 --> 00:29:12,800
Oh, you mean...?
448
00:29:18,840 --> 00:29:21,040
Sorry.
Oh, that's...
449
00:29:29,400 --> 00:29:31,020
No! When did this happen?
450
00:29:31,040 --> 00:29:32,820
Day before yesterday.
451
00:29:32,840 --> 00:29:36,100
Well, no,
it must've happened last week,
452
00:29:36,120 --> 00:29:38,820
but he Skyped
just t'day before yesterday.
453
00:29:38,840 --> 00:29:41,540
And it's all swollen, you see.
All up here.
454
00:29:41,560 --> 00:29:43,860
Black and blue
and his knee's in plaster,
455
00:29:43,880 --> 00:29:46,860
so there'd be a risk of
deep vein thrombosis
456
00:29:46,880 --> 00:29:49,260
apparently,
so the doctors have just said "no".
457
00:29:49,280 --> 00:29:51,980
And he's a big fella,
isn't he, Alan? Yeah.
458
00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:56,540
And he's nearly 80, so you
can't take a risk at that age.
459
00:29:56,560 --> 00:29:59,420
Travel insurance people've
been very good though.
460
00:29:59,440 --> 00:30:00,900
He'll get his money back.
461
00:30:00,920 --> 00:30:04,140
And he can travel over here
in three or four months' time.
462
00:30:04,160 --> 00:30:05,740
How did he break it?
463
00:30:05,760 --> 00:30:07,660
How disappointing for you.
464
00:30:07,680 --> 00:30:08,980
He fell over.
465
00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:13,660
On his drive, in Auckland,
just getting his car out.
466
00:30:13,680 --> 00:30:15,700
What about the rest of the family?
467
00:30:15,720 --> 00:30:19,220
Oh, they've all fallen
by the wayside, one way and another.
468
00:30:19,240 --> 00:30:22,540
It's getting enough time off work
to make it worth their while.
469
00:30:22,560 --> 00:30:24,100
You see, realistically,
470
00:30:24,120 --> 00:30:27,380
there's no point in coming
for less than three weeks.
471
00:30:27,400 --> 00:30:30,340
Spending all that money
and travelling all that way, and...
472
00:30:30,360 --> 00:30:34,860
So, are any of them...?
No, no. Doesn't look like it.
473
00:30:34,880 --> 00:30:36,320
Can Angus come?
474
00:30:38,880 --> 00:30:41,140
What about Kate?
475
00:30:41,160 --> 00:30:42,700
What about Kate?
476
00:30:42,720 --> 00:30:45,940
Well, she did offer to play
The Arrival Of The Queen Of Sheba
477
00:30:45,960 --> 00:30:47,500
for me to walk in to,
478
00:30:47,520 --> 00:30:51,260
and they've got a lovely piano,
and I don't know anyone else.
479
00:30:51,280 --> 00:30:53,280
Oh, I see.
480
00:30:54,360 --> 00:30:56,180
Can you ask her?
481
00:30:56,200 --> 00:30:57,640
Well...
482
00:30:59,200 --> 00:31:01,600
Can you?
I can give you her number.
483
00:31:02,760 --> 00:31:05,440
Ooh! That'll be him!
484
00:31:17,320 --> 00:31:19,040
I've brought you my washing.
485
00:31:20,960 --> 00:31:22,380
Roxy?
486
00:31:22,400 --> 00:31:26,300
She's reading politics, philosophy
and economics. She's from Liverpool.
487
00:31:26,320 --> 00:31:28,700
She's at Balliol.
Does she know you're a poof?
488
00:31:28,720 --> 00:31:29,820
Oh, yes.
489
00:31:29,840 --> 00:31:32,340
I've been meaning to break
this to you gently for some time,
490
00:31:32,360 --> 00:31:35,340
and I know you'll be disappointed,
but I'm not gay.
491
00:31:35,360 --> 00:31:36,620
Are we going to meet her?
492
00:31:36,640 --> 00:31:38,380
I was hoping I could ask her
to the wedding.
493
00:31:38,400 --> 00:31:41,980
Smashing! Course you can!
Does she look like the back end
of a bus? Is she blind?
494
00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:44,640
You're so predictable. Aren't you?
495
00:31:45,880 --> 00:31:48,640
Mum, could you get the plates
for me? Yeah.
496
00:31:53,040 --> 00:31:55,020
Did our Raff ring you up?
497
00:31:55,040 --> 00:31:56,820
Well up for it.
What?
498
00:31:56,840 --> 00:31:58,700
You sure you want him
in on it as well?
499
00:31:58,720 --> 00:32:00,660
Yes, of course!
And Angus if he's coming.
500
00:32:00,680 --> 00:32:03,500
Why's Angus coming?
He's my plus-one. What y'on about?
501
00:32:03,520 --> 00:32:05,900
Right,
you've to keep your mouth shut.
502
00:32:05,920 --> 00:32:07,100
(Can you sing?)
503
00:32:07,120 --> 00:32:08,420
Not with my mouth shut.
504
00:32:08,440 --> 00:32:10,420
See, who's that?
505
00:32:10,440 --> 00:32:12,840
That'll be your dad,
he'll want to have a look at you.
506
00:32:14,160 --> 00:32:15,700
Hello?
507
00:32:15,720 --> 00:32:17,980
Ted! It's Ted.
508
00:32:18,000 --> 00:32:20,860
He's just ringing up to say
good luck on the big day.
509
00:32:20,880 --> 00:32:22,940
Aww! How is he? How's his leg?
510
00:32:22,960 --> 00:32:24,500
Is it Dad?
The weather?
511
00:32:24,520 --> 00:32:27,260
Well, it's dark here, it's about
7:10,
512
00:32:27,280 --> 00:32:29,620
but it's been quite mild though.
513
00:32:29,640 --> 00:32:31,520
How is it where you are?
514
00:32:32,600 --> 00:32:36,220
Much the same. Dark, bloody cold.
515
00:32:36,240 --> 00:32:37,900
I keep hoping it might snow.
516
00:32:37,920 --> 00:32:40,620
Snow! Do you get snow there?
517
00:32:40,640 --> 00:32:42,380
Not like it does here.
518
00:32:42,400 --> 00:32:43,700
In Yorkshire.
519
00:32:43,720 --> 00:32:45,820
Celia says, "How's your leg?"
520
00:32:45,840 --> 00:32:48,300
Oh, my God.
521
00:32:48,320 --> 00:32:51,100
Ted?!
522
00:32:51,120 --> 00:32:53,520
Oh! My good God!
523
00:32:55,800 --> 00:32:59,380
Let's have a look at you! You've
shrunk, you wizened ole bugger!
524
00:32:59,400 --> 00:33:01,300
But I thought...
I lied!
525
00:33:01,320 --> 00:33:02,740
He lied! What a liar!
526
00:33:02,760 --> 00:33:05,260
He had his leg in plaster!
We saw it on the... It was pretend!
527
00:33:05,280 --> 00:33:07,620
Cement! Paint.
Did you know?
528
00:33:07,640 --> 00:33:08,660
Cement?!
529
00:33:08,680 --> 00:33:12,380
No! Did we 'ell, he just turned up
on t'doorstep like an hour ago.
530
00:33:12,400 --> 00:33:15,200
Celia Armitage!
Ted Buttershaw.
531
00:33:16,720 --> 00:33:19,420
Oh, give over!
Always a handful.
532
00:33:19,440 --> 00:33:21,700
So when...what...when did you land?
533
00:33:21,720 --> 00:33:23,660
I don't know. Couple of hours ago?
534
00:33:23,680 --> 00:33:27,380
And is all the family with you?
No, sod 'em. Just me.
535
00:33:27,400 --> 00:33:28,800
Who cares?
536
00:33:38,560 --> 00:33:42,580
I think you and our Gillian
should get back together.
537
00:33:42,600 --> 00:33:44,300
So do I.
538
00:33:44,320 --> 00:33:46,140
Is this why you've invited me?
539
00:33:46,160 --> 00:33:48,340
Is it 'ell.
No!
540
00:33:48,360 --> 00:33:51,580
Have you ever seen a banana jump?
541
00:33:51,600 --> 00:33:53,020
No.
542
00:33:53,040 --> 00:33:54,580
Me neither.
543
00:33:54,600 --> 00:33:57,160
I think they must do it at night.
544
00:34:00,560 --> 00:34:02,780
I'm wi' Cheryl now anyway, so.
545
00:34:02,800 --> 00:34:08,140
Oh, Robbie. She's very nice,
is Cheryl, obviously, but...
546
00:34:08,160 --> 00:34:10,460
She's a lightweight,
547
00:34:10,480 --> 00:34:12,580
compared to our Gillian.
548
00:34:12,600 --> 00:34:15,860
You do deserve better.
And who better than my mum?
549
00:34:15,880 --> 00:34:20,300
She's got personality,
Gillian. And balls.
550
00:34:20,320 --> 00:34:22,060
I like a woman with balls.
551
00:34:22,080 --> 00:34:24,380
Listen,
I don't want to upset or offend
552
00:34:24,400 --> 00:34:26,460
by reminding you about
the ins and outs of why me
553
00:34:26,480 --> 00:34:29,060
and Gillian fell out...
Why did you fall out?
554
00:34:29,080 --> 00:34:31,860
We do know she's a handful.
555
00:34:31,880 --> 00:34:34,180
More than a handful,
let's be honest. She's...
556
00:34:34,200 --> 00:34:35,940
She's trouble. No two ways.
557
00:34:35,960 --> 00:34:38,220
She always was.
Is she?
558
00:34:38,240 --> 00:34:39,580
But...
She's worth it.
559
00:34:39,600 --> 00:34:41,700
..it's part of her charm.
560
00:34:41,720 --> 00:34:45,260
And it's only a fella like you,
a fella with your sort of calibre,
561
00:34:45,280 --> 00:34:49,660
could rise to that
sort of a challenge.
562
00:34:49,680 --> 00:34:53,280
I suspect. But heck!
What do I know?
563
00:34:56,200 --> 00:34:57,620
Who told you this?
564
00:34:57,640 --> 00:35:01,000
I... We... It's...
I shouldn't...
565
00:35:02,160 --> 00:35:04,860
I only told you because I
thought you'd see the funny side.
566
00:35:04,880 --> 00:35:07,220
I didn't...
think you'd tell your mum.
567
00:35:07,240 --> 00:35:10,140
What do you mean "the funny side"?
Mum, let's not spoil...
568
00:35:10,160 --> 00:35:12,420
I didn't...
I didn't mean...
569
00:35:12,440 --> 00:35:14,060
I don't understand what's
being said.
570
00:35:14,080 --> 00:35:16,820
I thought it'd be better if I told
her than if she found out later
571
00:35:16,840 --> 00:35:18,620
from anyone else. That's all, sorry.
572
00:35:18,640 --> 00:35:22,220
Sorry, I am sorry. He's too soft.
He's too kind-hearted.
573
00:35:22,240 --> 00:35:24,580
That's the top and bottom of it.
Exactly.
574
00:35:24,600 --> 00:35:26,860
I've been telling him
this all his life, Celia.
575
00:35:26,880 --> 00:35:29,980
It's a generous fault.
Well, all my life.
576
00:35:30,000 --> 00:35:33,220
Obviously.
Not that...not that...not that...
577
00:35:33,240 --> 00:35:34,900
So...? So.
578
00:35:34,920 --> 00:35:37,100
So... So...
579
00:35:37,120 --> 00:35:38,940
They've put an offer in
on a bungalow.
580
00:35:38,960 --> 00:35:43,620
Dependent on my dad selling our old
house up Barkisland.
581
00:35:43,640 --> 00:35:49,300
But he, being Dad, was too soft
to turf the tenants out.
582
00:35:49,320 --> 00:35:51,460
And in the meantime
someone else put a better
583
00:35:51,480 --> 00:35:54,020
offer in on the bungalow,
and of course they went with it.
584
00:35:54,040 --> 00:35:57,700
The vendors.
Oh, dear! Oh, good Lord!
585
00:35:57,720 --> 00:36:00,740
Celia, I'd have thought you had him
better trained than that by now!
586
00:36:00,760 --> 00:36:02,500
Clearly not.
587
00:36:02,520 --> 00:36:04,240
Not yet.
588
00:36:18,400 --> 00:36:20,460
I'm not laughing at her, I'm...
589
00:36:20,480 --> 00:36:26,800
No. No. But you're right,
she is...very entertaining.
590
00:36:36,080 --> 00:36:37,520
By the way...
591
00:36:39,520 --> 00:36:41,620
..I've been meaning to say...
592
00:36:41,640 --> 00:36:43,160
What?
593
00:36:45,320 --> 00:36:48,040
Are we still cool? Vincent.
594
00:36:50,040 --> 00:36:51,520
Yep.
595
00:36:57,600 --> 00:37:00,260
I know you never forgave me
over Frank.
596
00:37:00,280 --> 00:37:02,980
Oh, bugger Frank.
597
00:37:03,000 --> 00:37:04,760
Does that mean you have?
598
00:37:06,080 --> 00:37:09,680
Did you ever know how miserable
I was with Kenneth?
599
00:37:10,680 --> 00:37:11,860
No.
600
00:37:11,880 --> 00:37:13,420
For years.
601
00:37:13,440 --> 00:37:15,220
No.
602
00:37:15,240 --> 00:37:19,600
I married him on the rebound, I
know that now, looking back, but...
603
00:37:21,400 --> 00:37:26,260
..he was shallow, a lightweight.
He mucked around.
604
00:37:26,280 --> 00:37:31,220
The night I gave birth to Caroline,
the night I nearly died
605
00:37:31,240 --> 00:37:33,700
when I needed that
blood transfusion,
606
00:37:33,720 --> 00:37:36,620
he was off having sex with
someone else.
607
00:37:36,640 --> 00:37:40,680
I know because 15 years later
he told me.
608
00:37:42,360 --> 00:37:44,320
It doesn't matter now.
609
00:37:45,880 --> 00:37:49,660
Well, except it does.
610
00:37:49,680 --> 00:37:51,660
You'd never have had Caroline.
611
00:37:51,680 --> 00:37:53,000
No.
612
00:37:54,240 --> 00:37:56,960
No, I'd never have had Caroline.
613
00:37:58,480 --> 00:38:01,360
But I might have been happy.
Happier.
614
00:38:03,680 --> 00:38:05,940
It happened. We can't change it.
615
00:38:05,960 --> 00:38:08,700
No. No, we can't.
616
00:38:08,720 --> 00:38:11,020
And now...
617
00:38:11,040 --> 00:38:12,660
I've met Alan again.
618
00:38:12,680 --> 00:38:15,580
Everyone liked Alan.
619
00:38:15,600 --> 00:38:17,900
Alan was always special.
620
00:38:17,920 --> 00:38:22,920
I'm glad you're so happy, Celia.
I really am.
621
00:38:31,400 --> 00:38:36,500
Celia, it's John.
I just...I wanted to say good luck
622
00:38:36,520 --> 00:38:41,520
for today and...and...and
sorry not to be there.
623
00:38:44,320 --> 00:38:47,800
Well, all the best, then! Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
624
00:39:16,520 --> 00:39:17,660
Hi.
625
00:39:17,680 --> 00:39:21,020
We're ready.
'Thanks.'
626
00:39:21,040 --> 00:39:22,240
They're ready.
627
00:39:26,440 --> 00:39:28,460
Am I all right?
628
00:39:28,480 --> 00:39:30,500
Oh, Mum.
629
00:39:30,520 --> 00:39:33,400
You look beautiful.
630
00:39:37,400 --> 00:39:41,300
Oh, I've asked Kate if she'd like to
stay on for the do after.
631
00:39:41,320 --> 00:39:42,820
I hope you don't mind.
632
00:39:42,840 --> 00:39:45,260
It felt a bit rude,
asking her to play the piano
633
00:39:45,280 --> 00:39:47,560
and then not asking her to stop.
634
00:40:21,800 --> 00:40:26,620
Oh, what a tangled web we weave
when first we practise to deceive.
635
00:40:26,640 --> 00:40:28,540
Sorry?
I've heard all about you
636
00:40:28,560 --> 00:40:32,020
not putting your little house
up for sale up in Barkisland.
637
00:40:32,040 --> 00:40:35,060
I just laughed.
638
00:40:35,080 --> 00:40:38,240
You look stunning.
Oh, so do you.
639
00:40:46,480 --> 00:40:48,880
We're ready when you are, kid.
640
00:40:52,600 --> 00:40:58,100
I, Celia Dawson, take you,
Alan Buttershaw, to be my husband...
641
00:40:58,120 --> 00:41:01,860
..to have and to hold
from this day forward...
642
00:41:01,880 --> 00:41:05,540
..for better for worse,
for richer for poorer...
643
00:41:05,560 --> 00:41:12,500
..in sickness and in health,
to love and to cherish...
644
00:41:12,520 --> 00:41:15,280
..till death do us part.
645
00:41:16,960 --> 00:41:21,860
I give you this ring
as a sign of our marriage.
646
00:41:21,880 --> 00:41:25,060
With my body, I honour you,
647
00:41:25,080 --> 00:41:28,900
all that I am, I give to you,
648
00:41:28,920 --> 00:41:32,440
and all that I have,
I share with you.
649
00:41:34,680 --> 00:41:38,840
I give you this ring
as a sign of our marriage.
650
00:41:40,840 --> 00:41:43,560
With my body, I honour you...
651
00:41:44,960 --> 00:41:48,520
..all that I am,
I give to you...
652
00:41:50,040 --> 00:41:54,400
..and all that I have,
I share with you.
653
00:42:24,280 --> 00:42:28,900
Ladies and gentlemen!
Can we have a bit of hush?
654
00:42:28,920 --> 00:42:31,660
Ladies and gentlemen! Ooh!
That works.
655
00:42:31,680 --> 00:42:34,260
Right. Pipe down.
656
00:42:34,280 --> 00:42:36,940
Raff, that includes you, love.
657
00:42:36,960 --> 00:42:39,860
Right, traditionally...
who's still talking?
658
00:42:39,880 --> 00:42:42,940
Ted Buttershaw, surprise, surprise.
659
00:42:42,960 --> 00:42:44,540
Right, traditionally,
660
00:42:44,560 --> 00:42:47,860
we start with a speech from
the father of the bride,
661
00:42:47,880 --> 00:42:51,900
only today we've got
the daughter of the bride.
662
00:42:51,920 --> 00:42:52,960
Caroline!
663
00:42:54,600 --> 00:42:58,780
Oh, shit, what she's going
to say about me?
664
00:42:58,800 --> 00:43:01,120
Wow, OK, here goes.
665
00:43:02,400 --> 00:43:09,980
Well...when my mum told me
she was getting married again,
666
00:43:10,000 --> 00:43:15,740
I said, "Yes, Mother,
shall we discuss it in the car?"
667
00:43:15,760 --> 00:43:18,820
And she said, "We are serious,
you know," and I said,
668
00:43:18,840 --> 00:43:20,980
Whatever.
669
00:43:21,000 --> 00:43:24,240
But she was serious!
And they did it, and here we are.
670
00:43:26,280 --> 00:43:27,920
My mum...
671
00:43:29,280 --> 00:43:30,700
..is unique.
672
00:43:30,720 --> 00:43:35,740
She's clever, she's funny,
673
00:43:35,760 --> 00:43:40,980
she's supportive, she's very loving
674
00:43:41,000 --> 00:43:42,960
and she's very kind.
675
00:43:44,320 --> 00:43:46,700
She also likes to say it
like it is now and again,
676
00:43:46,720 --> 00:43:48,680
but I think Alan's ready for that.
677
00:43:49,680 --> 00:43:52,780
And I think Alan deserves
someone as wonderful as my mum
678
00:43:52,800 --> 00:43:57,380
because he is, without doubt,
one of the loveliest,
679
00:43:57,400 --> 00:43:59,780
kindest men I've ever met.
680
00:43:59,800 --> 00:44:00,820
Awww.
681
00:44:00,840 --> 00:44:02,980
This was made in heaven,
I really believe that,
682
00:44:03,000 --> 00:44:06,940
and I think we're all very
privileged to have been part of it.
683
00:44:06,960 --> 00:44:12,340
I hope that my mum and my new dad...
684
00:44:12,360 --> 00:44:17,500
will have years and years
and years ahead of them together,
685
00:44:17,520 --> 00:44:23,540
inspiring us all with their
extraordinary love for each other
686
00:44:23,560 --> 00:44:28,900
and their extraordinary passion
and zest for life.
687
00:44:28,920 --> 00:44:30,240
Thank you.
688
00:44:35,400 --> 00:44:38,700
I've always known Alan,
I can't remember not knowing Alan.
689
00:44:38,720 --> 00:44:44,220
One of my earliest memories of Alan
was down Elland Wood.
690
00:44:44,240 --> 00:44:46,060
We were about four years old and
691
00:44:46,080 --> 00:44:48,380
we'd just found a pond full
of frogspawn,
692
00:44:48,400 --> 00:44:50,140
and he wanted to take it home,
693
00:44:50,160 --> 00:44:53,300
like you do,
only we'd nowt to carry it in.
694
00:44:53,320 --> 00:45:00,420
So he said, "Harry, you take your
wellies off, they'll do,"
695
00:45:00,440 --> 00:45:04,300
and course, like a dozy bugger,
I did.
696
00:45:04,320 --> 00:45:07,980
He had his wellies on as well,
I hasten to add,
697
00:45:08,000 --> 00:45:11,820
but for some reason in his head
mine were the only ones with
698
00:45:11,840 --> 00:45:14,500
"frogspawn container"
written on 'em.
699
00:45:14,520 --> 00:45:19,460
Then at home, me mother'd be saying,
"How come Alan's always so tidy,
700
00:45:19,480 --> 00:45:21,700
"and you're always such
a mucky mess?" All right?
701
00:45:21,720 --> 00:45:24,660
I was being shamelessly
taken advantage of...
702
00:45:24,680 --> 00:45:25,900
Are you? Yeah.
703
00:45:25,920 --> 00:45:28,980
..by someone much cleverer than me.
Alan was always very dapper.
704
00:45:29,000 --> 00:45:31,100
How's Cheryl?
705
00:45:31,120 --> 00:45:33,360
She's fine, yeah.
706
00:45:34,760 --> 00:45:35,780
Good.
707
00:45:35,800 --> 00:45:38,700
..he got that cushy job at Jessop's
Chemicals up Huddersfield...
708
00:45:38,720 --> 00:45:41,700
It's a nice do. Yeah.
709
00:45:41,720 --> 00:45:43,420
Thanks for asking.
710
00:45:43,440 --> 00:45:45,260
Me dad.
711
00:45:45,280 --> 00:45:48,440
It were me dad, not me. Mm, OK.
712
00:45:49,960 --> 00:45:53,180
OK. He invited me on his stag do
last night, did he tell you?
713
00:45:53,200 --> 00:45:54,460
No.
714
00:45:54,480 --> 00:45:56,600
Did you not know?
No.
715
00:45:57,760 --> 00:45:59,660
OK.
716
00:45:59,680 --> 00:46:02,120
He does what he likes. Yeah.
717
00:46:05,040 --> 00:46:09,220
He were saying... Eh?
718
00:46:09,240 --> 00:46:11,860
He were saying he thought...
719
00:46:11,880 --> 00:46:13,360
What?
720
00:46:14,440 --> 00:46:16,040
What?
721
00:46:17,800 --> 00:46:21,660
..that you and me ought
to get back together. What?
722
00:46:21,680 --> 00:46:23,580
Doesn't matter.
723
00:46:23,600 --> 00:46:26,180
No, seriously, though,
724
00:46:26,200 --> 00:46:29,300
Alan is a lovely man.
725
00:46:29,320 --> 00:46:33,100
And Celia's an equally lovely lady.
726
00:46:33,120 --> 00:46:37,180
And now, finally, I want to
hand you over to the man himself.
727
00:46:37,200 --> 00:46:39,340
Ladies and gentlemen, the groom,
728
00:46:39,360 --> 00:46:43,040
the one and only
Mr Alan Buttershaw.
729
00:46:55,960 --> 00:46:57,560
Where's he going?
730
00:47:01,200 --> 00:47:05,480
MUSIC: "If I Said You Had A Beautiful
Body" by the Bellamy Brothers
731
00:47:08,440 --> 00:47:12,660
♪ If I said you had a beautiful body
732
00:47:12,680 --> 00:47:15,000
♪ Would you hold it against me?
733
00:47:17,200 --> 00:47:19,380
♪ If I swore you were an angel
734
00:47:19,400 --> 00:47:22,740
♪ Would you treat me like the devil
tonight...? ♪
735
00:47:22,760 --> 00:47:25,380
Did you know about this?
736
00:47:25,400 --> 00:47:27,460
♪ If I were dying of thirst
737
00:47:27,480 --> 00:47:31,720
♪ Would your flowing love
come quench me?
738
00:47:33,640 --> 00:47:36,780
♪ If I said you had a beautiful body
739
00:47:36,800 --> 00:47:39,920
♪ Would you hold it against me?
740
00:47:42,680 --> 00:47:48,080
♪ Now we can talk all night
about the weather
741
00:47:50,680 --> 00:47:55,860
♪ Tell you 'bout my friends
out on the coast... ♪
742
00:47:55,880 --> 00:47:57,500
Bridlington!
743
00:47:57,520 --> 00:47:59,300
Bridlington.
744
00:47:59,320 --> 00:48:04,520
♪ I could ask a lot of
crazy questions
745
00:48:07,440 --> 00:48:12,640
♪ Or ask you what I really want
to know
746
00:48:14,320 --> 00:48:17,900
♪ If I said you had a beautiful body
747
00:48:17,920 --> 00:48:21,200
♪ Would you hold it against me? ♪
748
00:48:37,080 --> 00:48:41,140
I told you it'd be embarrassing. Yup,
well, maybe next time I'll listen.
749
00:48:41,160 --> 00:48:43,980
Dad!
750
00:48:44,000 --> 00:48:47,300
You great big daft...
751
00:48:47,320 --> 00:48:49,760
Well, I'm no good at speech-making.
752
00:48:52,200 --> 00:48:53,260
Hey, well done.
753
00:48:53,280 --> 00:48:58,140
Dad! That was...
absolutely ridiculous.
754
00:48:58,160 --> 00:48:59,780
Oh, but you liked it?
755
00:48:59,800 --> 00:49:02,460
It was...it was...it was...
756
00:49:02,480 --> 00:49:04,640
I love you.
I love you.
757
00:49:05,960 --> 00:49:08,740
What were you saying to
Robbie last night?
758
00:49:08,760 --> 00:49:12,540
Who? Me? Nowt. Why?
759
00:49:12,560 --> 00:49:17,760
Oh! Well, yeah, except, yeah...
But you do know we'd had a few.
760
00:49:19,720 --> 00:49:22,540
Ooh, I'm a bit squiffy,
761
00:49:22,560 --> 00:49:25,740
I'm going to fall over
if I'm not careful.
762
00:49:25,760 --> 00:49:28,320
♪ You make me feel so young
763
00:49:29,320 --> 00:49:33,580
♪ You make me feel
so spring has sprung
764
00:49:33,600 --> 00:49:36,620
♪ And every time I see you grin
765
00:49:36,640 --> 00:49:41,220
♪ I'm such a happy individual
766
00:49:41,240 --> 00:49:44,660
♪ The moment that you speak
767
00:49:44,680 --> 00:49:48,580
♪ I wanna go play hide and seek
768
00:49:48,600 --> 00:49:50,320
♪ I wanna go and bounce the moon
769
00:49:51,680 --> 00:49:55,120
♪ Just like a toy balloon
770
00:49:56,520 --> 00:49:59,620
♪ You and I... ♪
771
00:49:59,640 --> 00:50:01,220
I'm going.
772
00:50:01,240 --> 00:50:02,460
Right.
773
00:50:02,480 --> 00:50:06,460
Could you say thanks to Celia
for me?
774
00:50:06,480 --> 00:50:08,180
Well, thank you for
playing the piano.
775
00:50:08,200 --> 00:50:11,200
Oh! Pleasure. Nice piano.
776
00:50:12,520 --> 00:50:15,940
Right, well,
have a nice Christmas.
777
00:50:15,960 --> 00:50:17,840
Yeah, how likely is that?
778
00:50:18,880 --> 00:50:20,780
Sorry.
779
00:50:20,800 --> 00:50:24,120
I'm sorry. You...
780
00:50:26,000 --> 00:50:28,000
You have a nice Christmas too.
781
00:50:29,080 --> 00:50:34,140
♪ I'm gonna feel the way
I do today
782
00:50:34,160 --> 00:50:39,920
♪ Cos you make me feel so young
783
00:50:43,000 --> 00:50:46,620
♪ You make me feel so young... ♪
784
00:50:46,640 --> 00:50:50,500
♪ I don't know what it is that
makes me love you so
785
00:50:50,520 --> 00:50:53,780
♪ I only know I never want
to let you go
786
00:50:53,800 --> 00:50:55,780
♪ Cos you've started something
787
00:50:55,800 --> 00:50:57,700
♪ Oh, can't you see?
788
00:50:57,720 --> 00:51:01,260
♪ That ever since we met
you've had a hold on me... ♪
789
00:51:01,280 --> 00:51:03,460
I think she bores him shitless
790
00:51:03,480 --> 00:51:06,020
if he just bothered being
honest with himself.
791
00:51:06,040 --> 00:51:07,240
Hm?
792
00:51:10,320 --> 00:51:12,380
She's really lovely.
793
00:51:12,400 --> 00:51:13,840
Kate.
794
00:51:16,040 --> 00:51:17,880
She's gone. She went.
795
00:51:19,320 --> 00:51:21,380
Why?
796
00:51:21,400 --> 00:51:23,440
Over an hour ago. Why not?
797
00:51:25,720 --> 00:51:27,520
Are you all right?
798
00:51:30,320 --> 00:51:33,620
♪ You stopped and smiled at me
799
00:51:33,640 --> 00:51:38,580
♪ And asked if I'd care to dance... ♪
800
00:51:38,600 --> 00:51:41,060
I've kept meaning to say,
801
00:51:41,080 --> 00:51:45,180
given that Mum and Alan have decided
to stay in Harrogate this Christmas,
802
00:51:45,200 --> 00:51:48,780
you'd be very welcome,
you and Raff and Ellie and the baby.
803
00:51:48,800 --> 00:51:51,980
I mean, more than welcome, I mean...
804
00:51:52,000 --> 00:51:55,420
I'd like it if you did. Really?
805
00:51:55,440 --> 00:51:57,740
That'd be great.
806
00:51:57,760 --> 00:52:00,180
If I can get somebody to
feed the sheep.
807
00:52:00,200 --> 00:52:02,900
♪ No matter what you do
808
00:52:02,920 --> 00:52:04,640
♪ I only want to be with you... ♪
809
00:52:09,520 --> 00:52:11,540
What you thinking?
810
00:52:11,560 --> 00:52:13,160
Nothing.
811
00:52:21,160 --> 00:52:22,840
Aren't they lovely?
812
00:52:29,120 --> 00:52:31,380
MUSIC: "I'm Not In Love" by 10CC
813
00:52:31,400 --> 00:52:34,220
Oh, I love this tune.
814
00:52:34,240 --> 00:52:36,040
So do I.
815
00:52:42,360 --> 00:52:43,980
I've had a lovely day.
816
00:52:44,000 --> 00:52:47,140
Good. So have I.
817
00:52:47,160 --> 00:52:49,280
I think everyone has.
818
00:52:50,920 --> 00:52:52,860
♪ Don't get me wrong
819
00:52:52,880 --> 00:52:55,300
♪ Don't think you've got it made... ♪
820
00:52:55,320 --> 00:52:57,220
Sod it.
821
00:52:57,240 --> 00:53:00,260
I'm going to make him dance with me.
822
00:53:00,280 --> 00:53:02,260
Who?
823
00:53:02,280 --> 00:53:03,960
Not Robbie.
824
00:53:05,200 --> 00:53:08,440
Come on, it's a wedding.
825
00:53:12,760 --> 00:53:15,160
♪ I like to see you
826
00:53:16,200 --> 00:53:18,280
♪ But then again
827
00:53:19,640 --> 00:53:24,480
♪ That doesn't mean
you mean that much to me
828
00:53:26,840 --> 00:53:28,100
♪ So if I call you... ♪
829
00:53:28,120 --> 00:53:30,920
Excuse me. Oh, yeah.
830
00:53:34,000 --> 00:53:38,640
♪ Don't tell your friends
about the two of us
831
00:53:41,160 --> 00:53:45,580
♪ I'm not in love,
so don't forget it... ♪
832
00:53:45,600 --> 00:53:47,660
Why are you here?
833
00:53:47,680 --> 00:53:49,200
Sorry?
834
00:53:50,920 --> 00:53:53,940
Why are you here?
835
00:53:53,960 --> 00:53:57,080
Because...we were invited.
836
00:53:58,080 --> 00:53:59,520
Yeah, but...
837
00:54:01,200 --> 00:54:04,020
..why would you want to be here?
838
00:54:04,040 --> 00:54:07,400
I suppose that's the
bigger question.
839
00:54:08,600 --> 00:54:10,480
Your dad were right.
840
00:54:11,480 --> 00:54:13,580
When?
Last night.
841
00:54:13,600 --> 00:54:16,660
Some of the stuff he were
saying last night.
842
00:54:16,680 --> 00:54:18,300
What stuff?
843
00:54:18,320 --> 00:54:21,640
About you being a challenge.
844
00:54:23,520 --> 00:54:24,940
A challenge?
845
00:54:24,960 --> 00:54:27,260
Yeah.
846
00:54:27,280 --> 00:54:28,940
You are, though, aren't you?
847
00:54:28,960 --> 00:54:30,940
You're a challenge.
848
00:54:30,960 --> 00:54:36,820
As in your behaviour is challenging
from time to time.
849
00:54:36,840 --> 00:54:40,560
What, so
you'd like me to be Mrs Bland?
850
00:54:41,720 --> 00:54:44,480
I'm not saying that.
Mrs Ooh-what-am-I-like?!
851
00:54:46,520 --> 00:54:48,520
You are talking shit now, Gillian.
852
00:54:50,160 --> 00:54:53,860
♪ You give your love
853
00:54:53,880 --> 00:54:58,500
♪ So sweetly
854
00:54:58,520 --> 00:55:02,340
♪ Tonight
855
00:55:02,360 --> 00:55:07,020
♪ The light of love
856
00:55:07,040 --> 00:55:12,100
♪ Is in your eyes... ♪
857
00:55:12,120 --> 00:55:16,020
I got in, I shut the door.
858
00:55:16,040 --> 00:55:18,720
And then I turned round
and came straight back.
859
00:55:25,000 --> 00:55:27,300
Do you want to dance?
860
00:55:27,320 --> 00:55:31,520
♪ Is this a lasting treasure
861
00:55:33,040 --> 00:55:38,940
♪ Or just a moment's pleasure... ♪
862
00:55:38,960 --> 00:55:40,780
Is this like...
863
00:55:40,800 --> 00:55:42,500
What?
864
00:55:42,520 --> 00:55:43,840
..forever?
865
00:55:45,120 --> 00:55:48,840
Well, to quote Prince,
forever's a mighty long time.
866
00:55:51,480 --> 00:55:54,060
You know, in theory.
867
00:55:54,080 --> 00:56:01,400
♪ Will you still love me tomorrow?
868
00:56:04,800 --> 00:56:12,800
♪ Tonight with words unspoken
869
00:56:14,920 --> 00:56:21,600
♪ You say that I'm the only one
870
00:56:25,240 --> 00:56:32,080
♪ But will the spell be broken?
871
00:56:33,880 --> 00:56:36,820
♪ When the night
872
00:56:36,840 --> 00:56:43,040
♪ Meets the morning sun?
873
00:56:46,080 --> 00:56:49,860
♪ I'd like to know
874
00:56:49,880 --> 00:56:55,320
♪ If your love
875
00:56:56,560 --> 00:57:00,940
♪ Is a love I can
876
00:57:00,960 --> 00:57:05,940
♪ Be sure of... ♪
877
00:57:05,960 --> 00:57:07,680
What?
878
00:57:09,480 --> 00:57:12,180
Oh, I thought she'd gone.
879
00:57:12,200 --> 00:57:17,300
♪ And I won't ask again
880
00:57:17,320 --> 00:57:21,980
♪ Will you still love me
881
00:57:22,000 --> 00:57:26,000
♪ Tomorrow? ♪
64472
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