All language subtitles for Anger.Management.S02E66.Charlie.Tests.His.Will.Power.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-alfaHD_track4_[eng]

Did Charlie tell anybody
he was going to be late?

No. We cannot be expected
to wait here forever.

- I say we leave.
- How long has it been?

As of right now,
30 seconds.

Who's with me?

[ high-pitched voice ]
Sit your ass down.

I said sit your ass down!

Charlie, what the hell
are you doing?

It's puppet therapy.

A puppet can say things to you
that your therapist can't.

Now let's start the session.

Ed, you're old and bald.
That's got to piss you off.

What pisses me off is I left
my .22 in the glove box.

I'm not comfortable
talking to a puppet.

Why don't you
come over here, baby?

I'll make you comfortable.

[ smooching ]

This puppet's funny.

Shut up, Nolan.

Damn it.

Every time I trust
a puppet.

What the hell's going on?

Dude, what are you doing?

[ high-pitched voice ]
Hey, Charlie. What's up?

Bye-bye, everybody.

Good-bye.

Charlie, why do you have
a puppet of yourself?

I dated
a hot puppeteer once.

She made a puppet of me.
She made a puppet of her.

Her puppet got needy.
My puppet was suffocating.

It was a whole thing.

Anyway, sorry I'm late.

I got held up
at the courthouse.

It was bound to happen,
Charlie.

I mean, you hump
like a damn rabbit.

There's got to be a dozen
little Charlies running
around out there.

Yeah, that's not
what it was, Ed.

Oh, well, then I take
most of it back.

Actually, I was
at the D.A.'s office.

It turns out they recently
uncovered some DNA evidence
that proves

a man who's been locked up
for 50 years is innocent.

And they want me
to help him transition
back into civilian life.

Oh, I saw that
when I accidently
watched the news

before I switched
over to E!

Did you guys know that
Halle Berry's opening
a yogurt store?

It's called
Very Berry Berry.

I saw that.
What an amazing story.

Yeah, riveting.

All right, well,
let's get to you guys.
Nolan, you want to start?

Yeah. I was wondering
if I could get my pot back.

I know I said I didn't
want to get high

and not to give it back to me
under any circumstances,

- but I've run
into a big problem.
- And what's that?

- I really want to get high.
- [ doorbell rings ]

And I really want to date
a puppeteer who's not out
of her freakin' mind,

but that's not gonna
happen either.

Yeah, hi.
Can I help you?

Hi. Kiri Myers,
"New York Times."

You didn't have to
bring it to the door.

You could have just
thrown it from the car.

I'm a reporter with
"The New York Times."

And they also make you
deliver it?

Boy, oh, boy.
The newspaper business
is really in trouble.

Actually, I'm doing
an article on Will Jenkins,
but so is everybody else,

- so I'm trying
a different angle.
- And what's that?

A story about
an innocent man
and the therapist

who helped him
control his anger
and reenter society.

So it's about me.
Well, what a great angle.

So if you could help me
jump to the front of the line

and get an interview with him,
your story will be everywhere.

Well, he is going to be
doing a lot of press anyway,

so I don't see any harm
in you being the first one.

You're going
to be famous, Charlie.

- I'll see you next week.
- Hey.

You think they'll let me
play me in the movie about me?

If it were up to me,
I'd let you do it.

Thanks.
For the record,

if it were up to me,
I'd let you do a lot
of things.

- [ laughs ]
- Seriously, that wasn't
for the record.

Don't write that down.

That was really great.

I think
that may have been
your best ever.

And I must have been
pretty good, too, huh?

'Cause I've never
heard you so loud.

I got a leg cramp
halfway through,

but I decided
to steer into it.

I never realized
how much fun it would be

to have a purely sexual
relationship with a guy.

It's the best.

We have sex and then
we get back to our lives.

- We don't even have to talk.
- Yeah, why are we even talking?

I have no idea.
I am going to get
back to my life.

I'll see you tomorrow
around 8:00?

[ sighs ]
I don't know.

You know, don't you think
that maybe we should

- start spacing things out
a little bit?
- Why?

Well, there's a limited
number of bangs

before a woman like you
starts falling for
a guy like me.

Oh, please.

I'm serious.

It's like a can
of deodorant, you know?

You only get so many sprays
out of it before--

The armpit falls in love
with the deodorant?

Yes.

So just because
I'm the woman,

that means that
I'm automatically going to
fall in love with you?

You know who says that
a lot?

Women who fall in love
with me.

Well, don't worry, buddy.

Your stupidity
is going to guarantee that
that never happens.

Mm, I hear that
a lot, too.

Hold on.
"The New York Times"
is doing an article

about how you
helped this guy?

- You haven't even met the guy.
- That's the beauty of this.

Every time an innocent man
gets released from prison,

his rage will be
completely erased by
the joy of being free.

All you'll hear is,
"Thank God I'm out."

It's kind of like
when a guy leaves your house
in the morning.

So you're taking credit
for something you didn't do.

Yes. It'll balance out
all the amazing stuff I did do
that nobody's noticed.

That's terrible.

So do I get to be
in this article, too?

I do co-run the clinic.

But you didn't co-flirt
with the reporter.

Oh, co-screw yourself.

- Hello.
- Oh, hey.

Will, come in.
Come in.

I'm Charlie Goodson.
This is Jordan Denby.

Wow, you acknowledged me.

Hi, Will.
We were just having--

Listen, I thought
we'd step over here
and get started.

Congratulations, Will.

I can't imagine
what it must have
been like to be in prison

for 50 years knowing
that you're innocent.

Oh, I just thank the Lord

truth prevailed
and I'm free.

That's the attitude
I like to hear.

So a lot has changed
since '64.

For example,
everything's
computerized now.

If you want information
or to know something,

you can Google it
on your iPhone and then
download the link.

I didn't understand
a word you just said.

That's what I mean.
It's complicated out there.

Do women still have
vaginas?

Last time I looked.

Then I can figure out
the rest.

So the first thing
that you're going to have
to deal with is the press.

That's right.
I am.

Now, it could be
very stressful.

So I thought
the best way to start

would be with a simple
one-on-one interview with, say,

I don't know,
"The New York Times."

I was thinking
the same thing.

Well, good, good.

That way,
I'll start with the biggest
paper in the country

- and rip that reporter
a new one.
- Pardon me?

The reason I've been here
all these years is because
I didn't get a fair trial.

And you want to know why?
Because I was convicted
in the racist press.

They were out to get
a young, good-looking
black man.

But now they're
gonna get it

from an old,
good-looking black man.

That's great.
That's great.

Would you excuse me
for a minute?

Listen, I was
a little selfish earlier.

We're going to share
credit on this.

[ theme music playing ]

Just so you know,
Wayne's not here

- and he's gonna be
gone for a few weeks.
- Yes, and I'm angry.

It's unfair that
Wayne gets to go outside
and run around the countryside

while we just
stuck in here.

Well, if you murdered
a bunch of people

and were showing
the authorities where
you buried all the bodies,

you'd get to go out, too.

I guess that just proves
the harder you work,

the luckier you get.

Well, if it makes you
feel any better,

I was told he's being wheeled
around on a dolly wearing
a Hannibal Lecter mask.

So he doesn't
even have to walk?

Oh, Charlie,
you're killing me.

Hey, Charlie.

Word around the cellblock
is you're helping out
Willy Jenkins.

Yes, yes, I am.

I just got him a big interview
with "The New York Times"
to discuss his case.

You set up an interview
with "The New York Times"
for Willy

[ mimicking Willy ]
"I'm Gonna Kill the Press"
Jenkins?

Hey, Kettles.
It would be great
if I could get a list

of all the nicknames
around here before I tie
my future to anyone else.

You got it.

Excuse me,
you just told that

to Officer
"Can't Remember Crap"
Kettles.

Guys, I've got
a real problem here.

I'm going to look like
the worst anger management
therapist in the world

if Willy blows up
during this thing.

Okay, so you played
baseball, right?

Baseball players
are always squatting down

and giving each other
hand signals when
they squatting.

That is a great idea.

He and I will come up
with some prearranged
hand signals,

and if he starts to lose it,
I'll use those to
calm him down.

Ooh, I just meant
you should all do
the interview squatting,

'cause it's hard to get mad
when you're squatting.

It just makes you happy.

Come on, Charlie,
try it.

Thank you, but, no.

That's why
they call me

Charlie "Doesn't Squat
in a Men's Prison" Goodson.

Thank you so much
for coming.

I got a flat tire.

I must have run over
a nail or something.

Huh. Weird.

A nail isn't
that weird.

Weird would be
if I rolled over
a porcupine on a bike

or if a squirrel jumped out
and stabbed my tire
with a switchblade.

Well, it's weird
that you called me.

It's bizarre that
you come up with stories

of psychotic little
road animals so quick.

Why is it weird
that I called you?

Well, because instead
of calling a tow truck

or calling a gas station,
you called me

because you are
starting to think of me
as your boyfriend.

Ah, you see?
This is how people
run out of bangs.

Okay, stop, stop,
stop, stop, stop.

I'm going to change
the tire myself.

No, no, no, no, no.
I can change the tire.

- It's not a big deal.
- No. No.

Because I don't want
to give you the impression

that I'm trying to turn you
into my boyfriend.

Because I'm not.

I don't even like you.

All I want from you
is sex.

So what am I supposed
to do?

I'm just gonna sit here
and watch?

Yes.
And take your shirt off.

I could use
a little eye candy.

It's a little cold outside.

I'm working here, toots.

Give me something.

Ah.

Thanks for letting me
stay here till I find
a place, Charlie.

Oh, man.

God! You know
how long it's been
since I had a beer?

50 years?

No. 10 minutes ago.

I got one
out of your fridge
before you came down.

But you know how long
it was before that?

Uh, 20 minutes?

No.

50 years.

Why you got to belittle
my suffering?

Okay, okay.
Let's get back to preparing
you for the interview,

and afterwards,
we'll go out and
get some dinner.

I don't need
to be prepared
for an interview.

I'ma say the same thing
I've been thinking for
the last 50 years.

Okay, okay.

Again, let's try
to find a way to do this
without the anger.

Well, good luck.

Because when I sit down
and start talkin',

I'm going to be
out of my damn mind.

Can you dig it?

Oh, I can
definitely dig it.

Which is why we're coming up
with these hand signals

to keep you calm
during the interview.

Now, what does it mean
when I do this?

I don't know.
Somebody stole
your damn watch?

No, it means
take a deep breath
and count to 10.

Come on, Will,
concentrate.

And then later, we'll watch
"Django Unchained."

I think you'll like it.

Charlie, I appreciate
what you're trying to do,

but I don't think
any of these signals
are going to work for me.

Okay, okay.

When you were a kid,

what's your
happiest memory?

Let's think.

Drinking out
of the "white only"
drinking fountain.

Ooh, that was fun.

And, oh, yeah,
being chased by

the police dogs
when they saw me.

Ooh, that was good times.

Do you have any good memories
that don't make me want to cry?

Fishing.

I used to love to go
fishing with my grandpa.

That's perfect.
Let's use that.

Now, when I do this,

no matter
how upset you are,

try to remember that feeling
of going out on the lake
with your grandpa.

Before or after the white man
chased us off of the property
with a shotgun?

- [ cell phone chiming ]
- Hold on a second.

Hello.
Oh, hey, Kiri.
What's up?

I've got some great news.
I just spoke to my editor.

He's going to put this thing
on the front page.

Of "The New York Times"?
That's amazing! Thank you.

Problem is,
he needs it right away.

I have to do
the interview tomorrow.

Tomorrow?

Do you have a problem
with that?

No, no, no, no.

Tomorrow is perfect.

Charlie.

When we go out,
I want you to talk
to the waiters.

They got those pads.

They always
writing stuff down

like they're the reporters
of the restaurant.

Piss me off!

What is that?
Is everything okay?

Yeah, everything's fine.
I just dropped a spoon in
the garbage disposal.

See you tomorrow.

[ grunting ]

Please, can I just
change the tire?

[ grunting ]
No, you're not
my boyfriend!

You're my bang buddy.

Just call someone
if the car falls on me.

I don't know.
That kind of sounds
like a boyfriend thing, too.

You are absolutely right.

Just let me die.

[ truck beeping ]

Yes, help is here.

Unless you're having sex
with this guy, too.

In which case,
I'll just slide over and he can
sit with me on the curb.

Hey, miss,
you need a hand?

I wouldn't go there
unless you want to be

accused of being
her boyfriend.

Oh, yeah.
I bet I know
what's going on here.

I've been seeing
a lot of this.

You can see that
we're sleeping together

and we've clearly
defined boundaries
to our relationship

and now he's trying
to blur those lines

by offering to do something
only a boyfriend would do?

No, just that you have
a nail in your tire.

Oh. Well, duh.

And, yeah, I knew
he was being a jackass

- when I saw him
sitting on the curb.
- Hold on a second.

I tried helping, all right?
She wouldn't let me.

Oh, you're one of those.

One of what?

A girl who thought
she could have sex
without any emotions,

but now she's falling
for the guy.

This dude
knows everything.

And you're
the player who's been
with every girl in town

and all of a sudden
you're afraid

because you're starting
to have feelings for this one.

[ chuckles ]
This dude doesn't know crap.

Oh, hey, guys.

Here. I was going to drop
these off last night,
but I got a flat tire.

I'm sorry.
You should have called me
to change your tire.

Why? You're not
my boyfriend!

Yeah, what a shame.

See what you've
been missing?

Charlie, let me
give you some advice

my papa gave me
a long time ago.

Never mess
with white women.

Man, I thought I had
a whole week to work with
this guy before the interview,

but all I had
was last night.

Hey, this is on you.

This guy blows up,
you're going to look
like an idiot.

I know, all it's going to
take is one comment like,

"You should've called me
to change your tire"

and he could snap
like a crazy person.

That's why I came up
with a test.

- What kind of test?
- A phony interview
with somebody

who's going to push
every one of his buttons,

and if Will can stay cool
in front of this
old-school redneck,

he can stay cool
in front of anybody
in the press.

- Who is it?
- All right.

Bring on the guilty
black man

the bleeding hearts
are turning loose this time.

Hey, Charlie!
Look, haven't worn this
since my trial.

Still fits.

Will, this is Ed Landry
from the "Dallas...

Book Depository
Sun Times."

- Pleased to meet you, sir.
- Same here.

Here.

Why don't you two
gentlemen sit down

and make yourselves
comfortable?

All right, Mr. Landry,
he's all yours.

And, Will, I'll be
right over there.

Question one--
you're getting a lot
of money from the government

for the 50 years you spent
in prison, am I right?

- That's right.
- How does it feel

getting all that money
for just sitting around?

Are you trying to say
my time in prison

was nothing
but sitting around?

Prison is a hard life

and I think I'm being
compensated fairly

- for enduring it.
- Mm-hmm.

A follow-up question.

So the DNA cleared you
of this crime,

but, come on,
there's got to be
something else

that you should
have been put away for.

Will:
What are you trying to say?

I'm trying to say
where there's smoke,
there's fire.

Are you saying
that I'm a criminal?

Is that what
you're saying?

Let me tell you something,
you cracker-ass
son of a bitch.

It's bastards like you
in the press who've
made my life

a living hell
for the last 50 years!

You dumb honkey!

And I know you know
what a honkey is
because you old.

You are a honkey!

I'm not sure he's ready
for the press yet.

That'll do, honkey.

So, you got
everything you need?

Yes, this is perfect.

Where's Will?

He's in the kitchen.

Look, there's something
I thought you should know

before you start
the interview.

The guy's gonna
go berserk.

Pardon me?

I thought you said
you were going to help him

so he could manage
his anger.

Well, this is a much more
difficult case than that.

So after
careful consideration,

I decided the best thing
for him to do

is to go out
of his freakin' mind.

That doesn't sound
like anger management.

Hey, don't misunderstand
the word "management."

Boxers have managers.

They still go around
hitting people.

That's a very
different thing.

Is it?
I don't think so.

This is the way I teach
anger management.

I call it...

go-freaking-out-
of-your-mind-berserk therapy.

So if he doesn't blow up
during your interview,

I have not done
my job.

That makes
an even better story.

That's what I thought, too.

All right,
I'm going to go grab him.

So buckle in.

You're about to get hit
with a tsunami...

of mental health.

[ coughing ]

What the hell
are you doing?

Can't you tell?

Let me "reefer" you
to this big, fat doobie.

Where did you get weed?

It was in the nightstand
in the guest bedroom.

I thought
you left it for me.

No, no.

That's the stuff my patient
asked me to hold for him.

You are not prepared
for Nolan-weed.

No, I'm not.

Weed has really changed.

You have no idea.

Forget robots
and computers.

The greatest advancement
in the last 50 years

has been in the ass-kicking
potency of that stuff!

I'll tell you one thing,

everything is all right.

No, it's not!

You're supposed
to be angry.

Remember prison?
The violence?

The indignity?
The showers?

Forget fishing.

Here's our new signal...

[ humming ]

Whoop.

[ chuckles ]
Yeah.

This stuff is good.

But you were convicted
by the press.

Remember reporters?

You've got one out there
waiting to talk to you
right now.

You hate those guys.

Relax, man.

People make mistakes.

Relax.

"...which leads
one to wonder

what kind of
licensed therapist

provides a joint
of Green Dragon's Breath

to a 70-year-old patient
whose last experience

was Maui Wowie?"

Well, I'm not gonna end up
in "Psychology Today,"

but I have been offered
the cover of "High Times."

So, you know...

that's kind of cool.