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1
00:00:01,523 --> 00:00:04,308
Dude,
check this out.
2
00:00:04,352 --> 00:00:06,354
Yet another great idea
for the strip club.
3
00:00:06,397 --> 00:00:08,138
Guy walks in,
rents one of these,
4
00:00:08,182 --> 00:00:10,227
sees a stripper
that he likes, right?
5
00:00:10,271 --> 00:00:12,534
And... boom!
6
00:00:12,577 --> 00:00:14,797
Makes it rain.
7
00:00:17,234 --> 00:00:18,670
Awesome.
All I need now
8
00:00:18,714 --> 00:00:20,716
is a dollar vacuum
for the strippers
9
00:00:20,759 --> 00:00:22,718
and the whole process
is automated.
10
00:00:24,502 --> 00:00:25,895
And you really think
this is gonna move you up
in the company?
11
00:00:25,938 --> 00:00:28,680
This is the tip of the iceberg.
Chew on this one--
12
00:00:28,724 --> 00:00:30,508
credit card swiper
13
00:00:30,552 --> 00:00:32,119
right between
the stripper's boobs.
14
00:00:32,162 --> 00:00:34,599
Think about it, right?
No cash, no problem.
15
00:00:36,123 --> 00:00:37,385
Beep.
16
00:00:38,516 --> 00:00:40,301
And if you get
declined by the boobs,
17
00:00:40,344 --> 00:00:42,042
you can always
try the butt.
18
00:00:45,001 --> 00:00:47,525
"Try the butt."
19
00:00:48,961 --> 00:00:50,963
- So, we gonna
do lunch today?
- Sure.
20
00:00:51,007 --> 00:00:53,444
- Pick me up at the club?
- No problem.
21
00:00:53,488 --> 00:00:55,142
Hey, listen.
Last time I was there,
22
00:00:55,185 --> 00:00:56,621
I was talkin'
to one of your dancers--
23
00:00:56,665 --> 00:00:57,883
No! Not allowed.
24
00:00:57,927 --> 00:00:59,624
You don't even know
what I was gonna say.
25
00:00:59,668 --> 00:01:01,496
Yeah, you wanna ask her out,
bring her back to your house,
26
00:01:01,539 --> 00:01:02,758
and have all kinds
of sex with her?
27
00:01:02,801 --> 00:01:04,716
Well, not
necessarily.
28
00:01:04,760 --> 00:01:07,502
Her house is
always an option.
29
00:01:07,545 --> 00:01:09,417
Strippers aren't allowed
to date customers, man.
30
00:01:09,460 --> 00:01:10,809
I'm sorry.
Especially not
one of my friends.
31
00:01:10,853 --> 00:01:12,681
Are you kidding me?
I'd get my ass handed to me.
32
00:01:12,724 --> 00:01:16,511
Even though you invented
the blow-your-wad cannon?
33
00:01:16,554 --> 00:01:18,687
I mean they
can't fire a guy
34
00:01:18,730 --> 00:01:21,820
if he wins
the Nobel Prize
for science.
35
00:01:21,864 --> 00:01:24,127
- Nope.
- All right. Fine, fine.
36
00:01:24,171 --> 00:01:25,781
But I gotta tell ya,
37
00:01:25,824 --> 00:01:28,305
for an inventor,
you have very little
imagination.
38
00:01:33,310 --> 00:01:34,833
- Hey, Charlie.
- Hey.
39
00:01:34,877 --> 00:01:36,661
What are you
doing here?
40
00:01:36,705 --> 00:01:38,228
I am picking Sean
up for lunch.
41
00:01:38,272 --> 00:01:39,838
By the way,
nice outfit.
42
00:01:39,882 --> 00:01:42,102
I did not know that
you were a veteran.
43
00:01:43,755 --> 00:01:45,931
So... we still on
for tomorrow night?
44
00:01:45,975 --> 00:01:47,716
Ah, damn, sweetie,
I'd love to,
45
00:01:47,759 --> 00:01:50,284
but Sean says it's
against the rules.
46
00:01:50,327 --> 00:01:52,503
Well...
47
00:01:52,547 --> 00:01:53,852
what about myrule?
48
00:01:53,896 --> 00:01:55,680
The... what-- what
rule is that?
49
00:01:55,724 --> 00:01:57,160
That you and I are
supposed to go out
50
00:01:57,204 --> 00:01:58,901
and have crazy sex
all night long.
51
00:01:58,944 --> 00:02:01,251
I-- I-- I didn't know
that was a rule.
52
00:02:01,295 --> 00:02:04,167
We can't
break thatrule.
53
00:02:04,211 --> 00:02:05,995
No, we can't.
54
00:02:06,038 --> 00:02:07,605
Otherwise, we'll
get in trouble.
55
00:02:07,649 --> 00:02:09,216
Well, I don't want
to get in trouble.
56
00:02:09,259 --> 00:02:11,479
I'm up for Strip Club
Citizen of the Year.
57
00:02:11,522 --> 00:02:15,135
I hear you get a key
to something really nice.
58
00:02:15,178 --> 00:02:19,139
[ theme music plays ]
59
00:02:19,182 --> 00:02:21,141
So... Sean's
talking about
60
00:02:21,184 --> 00:02:23,186
putting the credit card
swiper where?
61
00:02:24,709 --> 00:02:26,581
- Here.
- Hmm.
62
00:02:26,624 --> 00:02:28,322
Ah, didn't read.
63
00:02:28,365 --> 00:02:30,628
Would you mind
pushing those together?
64
00:02:30,672 --> 00:02:32,500
[ chuckles ]
65
00:02:32,543 --> 00:02:35,459
You know, Sean has
some pretty good ideas
for the club,
66
00:02:35,503 --> 00:02:38,767
but honestly, I think
I'd be a better manager.
67
00:02:38,810 --> 00:02:41,465
Well, to your credit,
you're really focused.
68
00:02:41,509 --> 00:02:43,641
You don't quit until
the job is finished.
69
00:02:43,685 --> 00:02:47,645
- And your customer service
is impeccable.
- [ chuckles ]
70
00:02:47,689 --> 00:02:50,300
AndI'm innovative.
71
00:02:50,344 --> 00:02:52,389
What if we put the
credit card swiper...
72
00:02:52,433 --> 00:02:54,174
here?
73
00:02:54,217 --> 00:02:55,958
You know what the best
part about this is?
74
00:02:56,001 --> 00:02:57,699
I'm gettin'
airline miles.
75
00:02:57,742 --> 00:02:59,527
Mm.
76
00:02:59,570 --> 00:03:02,007
[ sighs ]
Charlie's not coming.
77
00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:05,054
I say we should
go ahead and eat.
78
00:03:05,097 --> 00:03:06,925
Wait, maybe this
is a test.
79
00:03:06,969 --> 00:03:09,014
Maybe he's watchin' us
on a hidden camera
80
00:03:09,058 --> 00:03:10,842
to see if we're
talkin' about him.
81
00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:15,978
[ loudly ]
Charlie is the best
therapist ever.
82
00:03:16,021 --> 00:03:18,894
And he would be the best,
besttherapist ever
83
00:03:18,937 --> 00:03:21,244
if he took us
to Magic Mountain.
84
00:03:23,246 --> 00:03:24,813
By the way, uh,
85
00:03:24,856 --> 00:03:26,641
thanks for pitching in
for the food--
86
00:03:26,684 --> 00:03:28,556
everyone who
isn't Lacey.
87
00:03:28,599 --> 00:03:30,384
Hey! I haven't
worked in months.
88
00:03:30,427 --> 00:03:33,169
People are too intimidated
to hire a beautiful woman
89
00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:35,258
who won't work before
noon or after 3:00.
90
00:03:35,302 --> 00:03:37,565
Or on any of my
blackout dates.
91
00:03:37,608 --> 00:03:41,133
Those are the days
after I party too hard
and black out.
92
00:03:43,701 --> 00:03:45,486
Have you even been
looking for a job?
93
00:03:45,529 --> 00:03:47,662
Of course! I am always
on the Internet
94
00:03:47,705 --> 00:03:49,707
looking for the right
opportunity.
95
00:03:49,751 --> 00:03:51,448
[ Lacey gasps ]
Ooh! Here's one.
96
00:03:51,492 --> 00:03:55,322
"Millionaire bachelor
spotted at Malibu AA meeting."
97
00:03:55,365 --> 00:03:59,500
Ooh! It's Vance Brandon
and he looks adorbs.
98
00:03:59,543 --> 00:04:02,807
So, instead of trying
to make something of yourself,
99
00:04:02,851 --> 00:04:05,897
you're just trying to trap
some rich fool into marrying you
100
00:04:05,941 --> 00:04:08,770
so you'll never have to
work another day in your life.
101
00:04:08,813 --> 00:04:11,903
Oh! I didn't realize
you were making a toast.
102
00:04:11,947 --> 00:04:13,601
Yes, to that!
103
00:04:15,733 --> 00:04:18,606
[ sighs ]
Give me a beer
and a tequila back.
104
00:04:18,649 --> 00:04:20,347
And by "tequila back,"
I mean a bottle of tequila
105
00:04:20,390 --> 00:04:22,958
and stand back because
I'm about to get crazy drunk.
106
00:04:24,873 --> 00:04:26,788
Well, I've only
got scotch.
107
00:04:26,831 --> 00:04:28,964
Rough day at
the office, dear?
108
00:04:29,007 --> 00:04:30,748
I got fired.
109
00:04:30,792 --> 00:04:32,446
Today. Fired.
My life is over.
110
00:04:32,489 --> 00:04:34,535
If I'm not a
strip club manager...
111
00:04:34,578 --> 00:04:36,537
I don't know
who I am.
112
00:04:36,580 --> 00:04:39,061
Dude, that sucks.
113
00:04:39,104 --> 00:04:40,715
You were born
to do this.
114
00:04:40,758 --> 00:04:43,544
I bet while all
the other kids were
trying to play tetherball,
115
00:04:43,587 --> 00:04:45,589
you were
teaching the girls
how to work the pole.
116
00:04:48,679 --> 00:04:51,552
You'll never guess who
they made the new manager.
117
00:04:51,595 --> 00:04:53,249
One of the strippers.
118
00:04:53,293 --> 00:04:55,033
Oh, was it that super hot
girl that came out wearing
119
00:04:55,077 --> 00:04:57,775
the lab coat and the glasses?
'Cause she looked reallysmart.
120
00:04:58,863 --> 00:05:00,561
No, that's Tiffany.
It was Kayla.
121
00:05:02,606 --> 00:05:05,261
Kayla?
Did they mention why
122
00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:06,610
they wanted to make
her the new manager?
123
00:05:06,654 --> 00:05:09,091
Yeah, apparently
she went to the owner
124
00:05:09,134 --> 00:05:12,877
with some "brilliant ideas"
about how to improve the club.
125
00:05:12,921 --> 00:05:16,098
Did they mention what
any of those ideas were?
126
00:05:16,141 --> 00:05:19,449
No. They couldn't have been
any better than mine, right?
127
00:05:19,493 --> 00:05:21,843
No! No, no.
Absolutely not.
128
00:05:21,886 --> 00:05:25,890
At best, they'd--
they'd be about
exactly the same.
129
00:05:30,025 --> 00:05:30,939
[ knocks on door ]
130
00:05:30,982 --> 00:05:33,942
- [ TV mutes ]
- Coming.
131
00:05:36,031 --> 00:05:38,120
- Hi!
- Hey.
132
00:05:38,163 --> 00:05:40,862
- Mm.
- Thanks for
stopping by.
133
00:05:40,905 --> 00:05:44,561
Listen, I'm sorry
about your friend
losing his job to me,
134
00:05:44,605 --> 00:05:47,390
but I've gotta tell you,
I've had an incredibleday.
135
00:05:47,434 --> 00:05:49,914
You mean the kind where
you buy everybody drinks,
136
00:05:49,958 --> 00:05:52,743
then pay for it by
swiping your card through
somebody's ass crack?
137
00:05:54,223 --> 00:05:55,877
Did you steal
Sean's ideas?
138
00:05:55,920 --> 00:05:58,749
Well, I may have used one
or two as a launching pad.
139
00:05:58,793 --> 00:06:00,403
A launching pad
to what?
140
00:06:00,447 --> 00:06:04,015
To the rest
of his ideas.
141
00:06:04,059 --> 00:06:05,800
Kayla, this is not how
you want to get ahead.
142
00:06:05,843 --> 00:06:07,671
It's not dignified.
143
00:06:07,715 --> 00:06:08,933
I am 29 years old.
144
00:06:08,977 --> 00:06:10,631
How much longer do you
think I can be a dancer?
145
00:06:10,674 --> 00:06:12,981
Well, if you've ever
been to your club
on a Tuesday night,
146
00:06:13,024 --> 00:06:15,157
I'd say
30 more years.
147
00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:17,551
Ahem, listen,
I've got an hour
148
00:06:17,594 --> 00:06:19,248
before I have to go home
and get ready for work.
149
00:06:19,291 --> 00:06:21,206
We can spend it with you
bitching and moaning
150
00:06:21,250 --> 00:06:23,687
or just moaning.
151
00:06:24,688 --> 00:06:26,342
No, no. What you did
was wrong.
152
00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:28,692
So, if you don't tell
your boss, I'm going to.
153
00:06:28,736 --> 00:06:31,086
You come anywhere
near my club
154
00:06:31,129 --> 00:06:32,827
and I'll have
the bouncers
all over you.
155
00:06:32,870 --> 00:06:34,916
Oh, please.
I've known those
bouncers for years
156
00:06:34,959 --> 00:06:35,917
and they're all
my friends.
157
00:06:35,960 --> 00:06:39,355
Especially...
Big Guy,
158
00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:42,793
Really Big Guy,
and Freakishly Huge Guy.
159
00:06:42,837 --> 00:06:44,839
Oh, I got rid
of them.
160
00:06:44,882 --> 00:06:47,232
Now it's Enormous Guy,
More Enormous Guy,
161
00:06:47,276 --> 00:06:49,583
and Guy So Big He
Ate the Guys You Knew.
162
00:06:51,933 --> 00:06:53,325
Come on, man,
163
00:06:53,369 --> 00:06:55,327
there's tons of other
opportunities.
164
00:06:55,371 --> 00:06:56,851
Look at this.
There's managing jobs
165
00:06:56,894 --> 00:06:58,722
available at a bunch
of strip clubs.
166
00:06:59,723 --> 00:07:02,857
I mean they're
kinda low-end.
167
00:07:02,900 --> 00:07:04,989
"Perfect Sixes,"
168
00:07:05,033 --> 00:07:07,905
"Strippers-For-Less,"
169
00:07:07,949 --> 00:07:09,951
"Plain But Nude."
170
00:07:11,518 --> 00:07:13,041
See, the guy
that I worked for
had a chain.
171
00:07:13,084 --> 00:07:14,999
He could afford to pay me decent money.
172
00:07:15,043 --> 00:07:16,653
Why are you even
doing this for me?
173
00:07:16,697 --> 00:07:19,526
Because I'm your friend
and I'll do anything
to help a friend.
174
00:07:19,569 --> 00:07:22,485
[ laughs ]
Would you?
175
00:07:22,529 --> 00:07:24,444
What are you
implying, Sean?
176
00:07:24,487 --> 00:07:26,228
That every time I do
something nice for you,
177
00:07:26,271 --> 00:07:28,099
I'm making up
for something
I've done wrong?
178
00:07:28,143 --> 00:07:29,231
Yes.
179
00:07:29,274 --> 00:07:31,581
Well, that's not
the case this time.
180
00:07:33,148 --> 00:07:35,019
Every other time, maybe,
but not this time.
181
00:07:37,413 --> 00:07:38,719
[ sighs ]
Before we start,
182
00:07:38,762 --> 00:07:40,938
does anybody know
of a decent-paying job
183
00:07:40,982 --> 00:07:42,853
where you just kinda
have to look cool
184
00:07:42,897 --> 00:07:44,942
and not be that smart?
185
00:07:44,986 --> 00:07:48,076
Good for you, Charlie,
you know your limitations.
186
00:07:48,119 --> 00:07:50,557
You're looking
for a line of work
that suits ya.
187
00:07:51,949 --> 00:07:53,995
Actually, I'm asking
for a friend of mine.
188
00:07:54,038 --> 00:07:56,127
Oh, is he an
irresponsible jerk
189
00:07:56,171 --> 00:07:58,434
who makes dinner plans
and then doesn't show?
190
00:07:58,478 --> 00:08:00,088
No, he's very
responsible--
191
00:08:00,131 --> 00:08:02,917
oh, no, dinner.
192
00:08:02,960 --> 00:08:04,701
Yeah. Dinner.
193
00:08:04,745 --> 00:08:08,444
I spent all day and night
preparing a beautifulmeal.
194
00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:10,533
I am sosorry.
How was it?
195
00:08:10,577 --> 00:08:12,143
It wasn't that good.
196
00:08:12,187 --> 00:08:14,581
Well, if it makes you
feel any better,
197
00:08:14,624 --> 00:08:16,887
you're not the only ones
that I screwed over.
198
00:08:16,931 --> 00:08:18,672
[ sighs ]
I also got Sean fired.
199
00:08:18,715 --> 00:08:22,153
Why would another person's
suffering make mefeel better?
200
00:08:22,197 --> 00:08:24,808
I don't know.
I'm sorry.
201
00:08:24,852 --> 00:08:26,810
No, I'm asking because
I really do feel better
202
00:08:26,854 --> 00:08:29,813
and I wanna know why.
203
00:08:29,857 --> 00:08:32,599
Well, this woman that
I was dating at Sean's...
204
00:08:32,642 --> 00:08:33,643
place of employment.
205
00:08:33,687 --> 00:08:35,558
Stripper at a strip club.
Go on...
206
00:08:37,038 --> 00:08:38,866
[ sighs ]
She stole Sean's ideas
207
00:08:38,909 --> 00:08:40,911
and then used them
to take his job.
208
00:08:40,955 --> 00:08:42,522
I need to speak
to the owner
209
00:08:42,565 --> 00:08:44,306
and let him know
what happened,
210
00:08:44,349 --> 00:08:45,699
but she's
the new manager
211
00:08:45,742 --> 00:08:47,614
and won't let me
anywhere near the place.
212
00:08:47,657 --> 00:08:50,094
Stripper banned you
from a strip club.
Go on.
213
00:08:51,618 --> 00:08:53,794
Buddy of mine
down in Texas,
214
00:08:53,837 --> 00:08:56,318
he ran a bar
and they fired him.
215
00:08:56,361 --> 00:08:59,103
Brought in a replacement
and he started making changes--
216
00:08:59,147 --> 00:09:01,889
Redneck ran a honky-tonk
down in Hicksville.
Go on.
217
00:09:02,890 --> 00:09:05,153
The customers
complained so much
218
00:09:05,196 --> 00:09:09,636
that they rehired
my buddy quicker than a...
219
00:09:09,679 --> 00:09:13,030
somethin' somethin'
on a hot somethin'-somethin'.
220
00:09:13,074 --> 00:09:15,250
I-- I-- ah, hell,
I'm tired.
221
00:09:16,033 --> 00:09:18,383
Maybe we should
do that for you.
222
00:09:18,427 --> 00:09:19,863
We could pretend
to be rednecks.
223
00:09:19,907 --> 00:09:22,605
Oh, thanks, guys,
but that would be an abuse
224
00:09:22,649 --> 00:09:26,174
of therapist-patient
relationship.
225
00:09:26,217 --> 00:09:27,436
That being said,
226
00:09:27,479 --> 00:09:30,134
if three "regular guys"
walked into the club
227
00:09:30,178 --> 00:09:32,136
and started complaining
about how it was run,
228
00:09:32,180 --> 00:09:35,052
well, that--
that I could not control.
229
00:09:35,096 --> 00:09:37,141
Yay!
[ laughs ]
230
00:09:37,185 --> 00:09:40,275
We're goin'
to a strip club!
231
00:09:40,318 --> 00:09:41,755
You should come
with us, Lacey.
232
00:09:42,843 --> 00:09:45,019
I can't go. I'm pretending
to be an alcoholic
233
00:09:45,062 --> 00:09:47,499
at some AA meeting
to trap a millionaire.
234
00:09:47,543 --> 00:09:51,112
Lacey's acting like a drunk
in a room full of drunks.
Go on.
235
00:09:51,155 --> 00:09:52,548
Patrick, stop it!
236
00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:55,116
I'm done.
237
00:09:58,336 --> 00:09:59,511
Um, excuse me.
238
00:09:59,555 --> 00:10:01,862
Is this the Alcoholics
Anonymous meeting
239
00:10:01,905 --> 00:10:03,472
or the Sex Addicts
Anonymous meeting?
240
00:10:03,515 --> 00:10:05,779
- Alcoholics Anonymous.
- Oh, good.
241
00:10:05,822 --> 00:10:07,868
Because if I'm going
to give up something,
242
00:10:07,911 --> 00:10:11,654
it's gonna be the booze.
You know what I'm saying?
243
00:10:13,177 --> 00:10:14,918
Hi, I'm Lacey.
244
00:10:14,962 --> 00:10:18,226
Total alcoholic.
Just found out today.
245
00:10:18,269 --> 00:10:21,185
I'm Vance.
Nice to meet you.
246
00:10:21,229 --> 00:10:23,144
It was so shocking,
really.
247
00:10:23,187 --> 00:10:25,407
I was sunbathing
this morning, topless,
248
00:10:25,450 --> 00:10:27,975
when I spilled a Mai Tai
all over my chest
249
00:10:28,018 --> 00:10:30,673
and it drizzled down
my glistening stomach
250
00:10:30,717 --> 00:10:32,806
into my unlaced
bikini bottoms
251
00:10:32,849 --> 00:10:34,677
and I thought,
[ gasps ]
252
00:10:34,721 --> 00:10:36,810
"I have
a drinking problem."
253
00:10:36,853 --> 00:10:38,072
Wow.
254
00:10:38,115 --> 00:10:40,465
Maybe we should get
a coffee sometime.
255
00:10:40,509 --> 00:10:42,163
- Let's talk after
the meeting.
- Lacey: Okay.
256
00:10:42,206 --> 00:10:44,818
- Lacey?
- Jordan?
257
00:10:44,861 --> 00:10:47,298
Oh, my God.
You're an alcoholic, too?
258
00:10:47,342 --> 00:10:50,214
I knew you were a wreck
from the moment I met you.
259
00:10:51,302 --> 00:10:52,956
Thanks!
260
00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:54,610
Oh! Let's sit
together.
261
00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:57,091
We can be
"Sobriety Sisters."
262
00:10:57,134 --> 00:10:59,702
Actually, I'm going to
go sit next to Vance.
263
00:10:59,746 --> 00:11:01,095
He's a drunken
millionaire
264
00:11:01,138 --> 00:11:04,098
and I don't want
him to sit alone.
Ever.
265
00:11:04,141 --> 00:11:06,056
Oh.
266
00:11:06,100 --> 00:11:07,754
I know what
you're doing.
267
00:11:07,797 --> 00:11:09,320
We can both
sit next to Vance.
268
00:11:09,364 --> 00:11:11,279
You can't date another
person in the group
269
00:11:11,322 --> 00:11:12,672
until after you've had
a year of sobriety.
270
00:11:12,715 --> 00:11:15,631
Oh, I'm probably only
going to need a day or two.
271
00:11:15,675 --> 00:11:17,502
I'm only a little bit
of an alcoholic.
272
00:11:17,546 --> 00:11:20,157
Just mixed drinks
and mimosas.
273
00:11:21,202 --> 00:11:23,247
So, you made all
your money in oil.
274
00:11:23,291 --> 00:11:24,901
Yes, ma'am.
I've got oil wells
275
00:11:24,945 --> 00:11:27,338
all the way from Houston
up to Amarill-a.
276
00:11:27,382 --> 00:11:29,645
What about you?
Are you in the
oil business, too?
277
00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:32,692
Fer sure.
Interesting story...
278
00:11:32,735 --> 00:11:34,868
I was in my back yard
shootin' at some food,
279
00:11:34,911 --> 00:11:37,131
and my bullet went
into the ground
280
00:11:37,174 --> 00:11:39,220
and all this bubblin'
crude came up.
281
00:11:39,263 --> 00:11:42,614
There's a couple
more verses of how
I got rich,
282
00:11:42,658 --> 00:11:44,312
but I can't remember
'em right now.
283
00:11:44,355 --> 00:11:46,096
[ chuckling ]
284
00:11:46,140 --> 00:11:47,750
Hey, guys, I just talked
to one of the bouncers.
285
00:11:47,794 --> 00:11:49,621
The owner's not gonna
be here for another hour.
286
00:11:49,665 --> 00:11:52,146
Oh, well, I guess we're
going to have to sit here
287
00:11:52,189 --> 00:11:54,496
and entertain these
beautiful young fillies
288
00:11:54,539 --> 00:11:56,628
with the stories
about how we amassed
289
00:11:56,672 --> 00:11:59,719
our vast fortunes
in the oil game.
290
00:11:59,762 --> 00:12:01,677
If I stay here,
it's gonna cost you
a hundred dollars.
291
00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:05,333
A hundred dollars?
Honey, I'm not in
the market for a bride.
292
00:12:08,728 --> 00:12:11,252
- What are you guys doing here?
- We're here to help you
get your job back.
293
00:12:11,295 --> 00:12:13,428
Yeah, Charlie felt
really bad about
what he did.
294
00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:16,997
We're trying
to make it right.
295
00:12:17,040 --> 00:12:19,434
Oh, yeah.
296
00:12:19,477 --> 00:12:21,871
What he did
was really bad.
297
00:12:21,915 --> 00:12:25,048
Just out of curiosity,
how did he describe it
to you guys?
298
00:12:25,092 --> 00:12:27,747
Well, why don't you
tell us what he did?
299
00:12:27,790 --> 00:12:30,140
And then we
will tell you
300
00:12:30,184 --> 00:12:32,055
if that's
what he told us
301
00:12:32,099 --> 00:12:33,883
what he did.
302
00:12:35,363 --> 00:12:37,060
Or you can just tell me
and then I'll confirm it.
303
00:12:37,104 --> 00:12:39,367
Okay.
He told, uh, your idea
304
00:12:39,410 --> 00:12:40,890
to some stripper
he was screwing,
305
00:12:40,934 --> 00:12:42,457
then she took
your job.
306
00:12:44,024 --> 00:12:46,113
[ chuckles ]
307
00:12:46,156 --> 00:12:49,464
I cannot wait to kill
that son of a bitch.
308
00:12:50,987 --> 00:12:52,772
What'd he tell you?!
309
00:12:56,732 --> 00:12:58,125
Hey, Vance!
310
00:12:58,168 --> 00:13:00,344
Oh, no. I'm totally
excited about our date.
311
00:13:00,388 --> 00:13:02,782
Just a quick question...
I know you don't drink,
312
00:13:02,825 --> 00:13:04,914
but you still do
hard drugs, right?
313
00:13:07,482 --> 00:13:09,353
Oh, good!
314
00:13:09,397 --> 00:13:10,877
No, me neither.
[ chuckles ]
315
00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:12,400
See you in a bit.
316
00:13:16,404 --> 00:13:18,798
- Jordan?!
- Hey, Sobriety Sister!
317
00:13:18,841 --> 00:13:21,409
Oh, hey, girl!
So good to see you.
318
00:13:21,452 --> 00:13:22,932
You know what?
I'll talk to you later.
319
00:13:22,976 --> 00:13:24,847
Hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey.
320
00:13:24,891 --> 00:13:26,283
I thought I'd come
stay for a couple days
321
00:13:26,327 --> 00:13:28,938
and make sure you don't
get into any trouble.
322
00:13:28,982 --> 00:13:31,549
Where ya goin'
all dressed up like that?
323
00:13:31,593 --> 00:13:34,335
I'm going to a special
AA meeting downtown.
324
00:13:34,378 --> 00:13:36,380
It's for
super cool people.
325
00:13:36,424 --> 00:13:39,122
I'd love to take you,
but obviously...
326
00:13:40,515 --> 00:13:42,299
Hold on.
327
00:13:42,343 --> 00:13:44,301
You're going to
see Vance, aren't you?
328
00:13:44,345 --> 00:13:46,129
I told you, alcoholics
have to be sober
329
00:13:46,173 --> 00:13:47,565
for a year before they
can date each other,
330
00:13:47,609 --> 00:13:49,132
you horny
little drunk.
331
00:13:50,960 --> 00:13:53,702
Okay, look. The truth is,
I'm not an alcoholic.
332
00:13:53,745 --> 00:13:56,879
The only reason I joined AA
was to meet that millionaire.
333
00:13:56,923 --> 00:13:58,576
And the only reason
I joined is because
334
00:13:58,620 --> 00:14:00,013
I woke up alone in
a Pittsburgh hotel room
335
00:14:00,056 --> 00:14:01,449
with no clothes
and the word "slut"
336
00:14:01,492 --> 00:14:03,494
written on
the bathroom mirror
in my own handwriting.
337
00:14:04,887 --> 00:14:08,151
Now, how many open
bottles of booze
338
00:14:08,195 --> 00:14:10,937
do you have
in this apartment?
339
00:14:10,980 --> 00:14:12,503
I'm notan
alcoholic.
340
00:14:12,547 --> 00:14:15,071
You have got to
stop saying that!
341
00:14:15,115 --> 00:14:16,420
If anybody believes
that the only reason
you're there
342
00:14:16,464 --> 00:14:18,596
is to hook up with Vance,
they will kick you out.
343
00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:20,337
[ gasps ]
I can't get kicked out!
344
00:14:20,381 --> 00:14:21,991
Because...
345
00:14:22,035 --> 00:14:23,471
you're right!
346
00:14:23,514 --> 00:14:27,170
I'm a disgusting drunk
who needs help.
[ sobs ]
347
00:14:28,737 --> 00:14:30,913
That's better.
348
00:14:32,610 --> 00:14:34,351
Hey, Charlie.
349
00:14:34,395 --> 00:14:37,441
Hey! You guys are early.
Make it by the strip club
last night?
350
00:14:37,485 --> 00:14:39,966
Uh, yes, and...
351
00:14:40,009 --> 00:14:41,793
one of us-- I won't
say which one...
352
00:14:41,837 --> 00:14:43,056
Nolan.
353
00:14:44,405 --> 00:14:46,276
...kind of
spilled the beans
354
00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:47,799
when we ran into Sean
cleaning out his office.
355
00:14:47,843 --> 00:14:51,368
Okay, let's end
the mystery right now.
356
00:14:51,412 --> 00:14:54,197
It was me.
357
00:14:54,241 --> 00:14:57,244
What?
He's gonna kill me!
358
00:14:57,287 --> 00:14:59,463
Next time I tell you guys
not to do something,
359
00:14:59,507 --> 00:15:01,161
do it right.
360
00:15:01,204 --> 00:15:04,381
Sean's here.
I bet he's mad!
361
00:15:04,425 --> 00:15:06,514
I mean, I know I would be
if I found out that way.
362
00:15:07,689 --> 00:15:09,299
Good luck!
363
00:15:13,042 --> 00:15:14,130
[ softly ]
Hey, Charlie.
364
00:15:14,174 --> 00:15:16,828
Hey, Sean.
365
00:15:17,873 --> 00:15:19,831
Look, about
what happened...
366
00:15:21,442 --> 00:15:23,400
[ stammering ]
I just wanna apologize.
367
00:15:23,444 --> 00:15:25,794
Hey, you had no idea
she'd do that.
368
00:15:27,404 --> 00:15:28,623
It's a compliment,
really.
369
00:15:28,666 --> 00:15:30,059
You thought my ideas
were so great,
370
00:15:30,103 --> 00:15:32,496
you were
bragging about it.
I get it.
371
00:15:32,540 --> 00:15:34,368
Are you sure?
372
00:15:34,411 --> 00:15:36,196
Absolutely.
373
00:15:37,458 --> 00:15:40,330
I just mixed up a fresh
pitcher of lemonade.
374
00:15:40,374 --> 00:15:43,725
Would you care
for some?
375
00:15:46,597 --> 00:15:47,990
Lemonade, you say?
376
00:15:50,384 --> 00:15:52,560
That doesn't look
like lemonade.
377
00:15:53,561 --> 00:15:55,171
Oh, it is.
378
00:15:57,957 --> 00:15:59,610
[ stammers ]
I-- I'd love some,
379
00:15:59,654 --> 00:16:01,525
but my doctor says
I've been drinking
380
00:16:01,569 --> 00:16:03,658
too much lemonade.
381
00:16:06,356 --> 00:16:08,402
Why don't you
have some?
382
00:16:11,057 --> 00:16:13,146
I'd love to.
383
00:16:18,107 --> 00:16:20,631
Ah!
384
00:16:20,675 --> 00:16:24,287
That is very good
lemonade.
385
00:16:25,288 --> 00:16:27,247
I better-- I better
get to group.
386
00:16:27,290 --> 00:16:29,640
Of course.
387
00:16:29,684 --> 00:16:31,381
Before you go...
388
00:16:32,513 --> 00:16:34,341
cigar?
389
00:16:39,476 --> 00:16:41,348
Let me guess,
390
00:16:41,391 --> 00:16:43,437
Acme brand?
391
00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:45,526
Don't be silly.
392
00:16:45,569 --> 00:16:48,355
Shall I light it
for you?
393
00:16:58,147 --> 00:16:59,583
Maybe later.
394
00:17:01,107 --> 00:17:03,674
Of course.
Later.
395
00:17:05,024 --> 00:17:07,548
Enjoy your group.
396
00:17:18,776 --> 00:17:20,604
Who are
these people?
397
00:17:20,648 --> 00:17:22,954
Someone just
dropped them off.
398
00:17:22,998 --> 00:17:24,869
They saw an ad
at the free clinic
399
00:17:24,913 --> 00:17:28,090
for free anger therapy
and free snacks.
400
00:17:28,134 --> 00:17:31,093
Apparently, poor people
like free stuff.
401
00:17:33,226 --> 00:17:35,837
Sean.
This is his payback.
402
00:17:35,880 --> 00:17:37,969
I'm sorry, guys.
I gotta get down
to the club
403
00:17:38,013 --> 00:17:39,971
and find a way to
talk to the owner.
404
00:17:40,015 --> 00:17:41,886
Patrick, would you please
make sure these people get
405
00:17:41,930 --> 00:17:43,845
something to eat, then
send them on their way?
406
00:17:43,888 --> 00:17:45,325
Same deal for
the homeless guys.
407
00:17:49,590 --> 00:17:51,679
Hey. Where the hell
you goin'?
408
00:17:51,722 --> 00:17:52,897
I really need
to see the owner.
409
00:17:52,941 --> 00:17:56,553
- Not gonna happen.
- Okay. No problem.
410
00:17:56,597 --> 00:17:58,120
You guys are just
doing your job.
411
00:17:58,164 --> 00:18:01,167
It's like hitting
a wall here.
412
00:18:01,210 --> 00:18:03,125
You guys are big.
Who do you think
would win in a fight?
413
00:18:03,169 --> 00:18:04,213
I would.
414
00:18:04,257 --> 00:18:06,650
Whoa, whoa.
You believe this guy,
415
00:18:06,694 --> 00:18:08,130
challenging
your masculinity
like that?
416
00:18:08,174 --> 00:18:10,306
He's right.
He hits the gym
more than I do.
417
00:18:10,350 --> 00:18:12,526
You know, if you
really want to lose
some weight,
418
00:18:12,569 --> 00:18:15,833
you get the best results
using the buddy system.
419
00:18:15,877 --> 00:18:17,661
Would you do a thing
like that with me?
420
00:18:17,705 --> 00:18:18,619
Of course I would!
421
00:18:18,662 --> 00:18:20,969
Working out
by yourself is hard!
422
00:18:21,012 --> 00:18:22,449
You know, I say
we start tomorrow--
423
00:18:22,492 --> 00:18:25,669
Hey, we said
you're not allowed
to go back there.
424
00:18:25,713 --> 00:18:27,628
The trick is to keep
a "food journal."
425
00:18:27,671 --> 00:18:29,543
- I heard that.
- Yeah.
426
00:18:29,586 --> 00:18:31,022
I really need
to see the owner.
427
00:18:31,066 --> 00:18:34,374
I'm the owner.
What's the problem?
428
00:18:34,417 --> 00:18:37,290
It's about your
new manager, Kayla.
429
00:18:37,333 --> 00:18:39,596
Those weren't her ideas.
Those were Sean's
and she stolethem.
430
00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:41,511
Makes sense.
431
00:18:41,555 --> 00:18:43,557
She never had ideas
like that before.
432
00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:46,647
Exactly! So you fired Sean
because you thought
Kayla was brilliant.
433
00:18:46,690 --> 00:18:48,562
No, I fired Sean
because I found out
434
00:18:48,605 --> 00:18:50,303
he was bangin'
half the girls.
435
00:18:50,346 --> 00:18:53,001
Don't I
feel foolish?
436
00:18:54,872 --> 00:18:56,787
I don't think I've ever
seen you this nervous.
437
00:18:56,831 --> 00:18:58,093
Who's this guy
you're waitin' for?
438
00:18:58,137 --> 00:19:01,009
- A millionaire.
- That's what they all say.
439
00:19:01,052 --> 00:19:04,143
Then they get
in their 18-wheelers
and drive off.
440
00:19:05,405 --> 00:19:08,451
Put the drink down!
You have a problem!
441
00:19:08,495 --> 00:19:09,800
Yeah, I have
a problem.
442
00:19:09,844 --> 00:19:12,760
I'm getting smothered
by "Sober Companion Barbie."
443
00:19:12,803 --> 00:19:13,891
What's goin' on?!
444
00:19:13,935 --> 00:19:15,980
I'm trying to get her
to stop drinking.
445
00:19:16,024 --> 00:19:18,200
Put the drink
down, Jordan.
446
00:19:18,244 --> 00:19:20,855
One day at a time.
AA.
447
00:19:22,770 --> 00:19:24,598
She was the one
that was drinking.
448
00:19:24,641 --> 00:19:26,643
The accusations,
the anger,
449
00:19:26,687 --> 00:19:28,254
it's such textbook
behavior.
450
00:19:28,297 --> 00:19:32,214
Don't worry.
I'm going to be there
for you every second.
451
00:19:32,258 --> 00:19:34,303
So, do you want to
go back to your place?
452
00:19:35,739 --> 00:19:37,654
Time!
Time out!
453
00:19:37,698 --> 00:19:40,222
This doesn't lead
to anything good.
454
00:19:40,266 --> 00:19:43,225
Thanks for sharin'.
455
00:19:43,269 --> 00:19:46,185
You know, maybe someday
you'll do what I've done.
456
00:19:46,228 --> 00:19:49,666
- What's that?
- I've given all my
money to the program.
457
00:19:49,710 --> 00:19:52,321
You mean you've
promised all your money
458
00:19:52,365 --> 00:19:53,670
to AA after you die.
459
00:19:53,714 --> 00:19:56,673
No, I gave it all
away last month.
460
00:19:56,717 --> 00:19:59,198
That's why I live
in a studio apartment
in Encino.
461
00:20:00,764 --> 00:20:02,505
You deceived me.
462
00:20:02,549 --> 00:20:05,682
I can't be in
a relationship with
someone who lies to me--
463
00:20:05,726 --> 00:20:09,251
unless they have
a lotof money.
Goodbye.
464
00:20:16,867 --> 00:20:18,652
Hey.
465
00:20:18,695 --> 00:20:21,350
I just got back
from the strip club.
466
00:20:21,394 --> 00:20:23,134
Turns out Ididn't
get you fired.
467
00:20:23,178 --> 00:20:24,788
What are you
talking about?
468
00:20:24,832 --> 00:20:26,747
You got fired for
bangin' the strippers.
469
00:20:26,790 --> 00:20:29,228
Huh.
470
00:20:29,271 --> 00:20:31,708
That makes sense.
471
00:20:34,842 --> 00:20:37,192
Yeah, I can see how
someone could twist that
472
00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:39,760
into a fireable
offense.
473
00:20:39,803 --> 00:20:42,763
So, youthought
it was okay to have
sex with the girls?
474
00:20:42,806 --> 00:20:46,375
You don't fire the guy
at Baskin-Robbins for
tasting the ice cream.
475
00:20:46,419 --> 00:20:48,682
Dude, you had
your sample spoon
476
00:20:48,725 --> 00:20:49,770
in every flavor
in the place.
477
00:20:49,813 --> 00:20:53,643
Chocolate, vanilla,
half-Asian.
478
00:20:55,254 --> 00:20:56,690
Ah, Charlie.
[ sighs ]
479
00:20:56,733 --> 00:20:59,823
Why did God make
strippers so hot?
480
00:20:59,867 --> 00:21:01,782
I don't know.
I don't know.
481
00:21:01,825 --> 00:21:04,785
Greater minds than ours
have pondered that question.
482
00:21:15,796 --> 00:21:17,754
That's a big pony.
35750
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