All language subtitles for Anger.Management.S02E58.Charlie.Spends.the.Night.with.Lacey.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-alfaHD_track4_[eng]

All right, guys,
let's get to it.

What's that button?

It's something designed
to help you get healthy.

Just ignore it.

So, Patrick, did you
take the high road

and congratulate Wendy
on that promotion that
you were supposed to get?

Yes, I did.
I even bought her flowers.

Man's voice:
Liar!

What really happened?

I saw her in the break room
and I gave her a thumbs up.

Liar!

I flipped her off,
that's all.

Liar!

Okay, I started
a whisper campaign

behind her back
that she has irritable
bowel syndrome

and that she is the one
responsible for the "mystery
smell" in the elevator.

There you go.
Was that so hard?

Hey, I'm sorry
to interrupt.

I couldn't find
any orange juice in there.

I feel like I'm coming
down with something.

Dude, you're sick.
You're wearing a parka.

It's like
95 degrees outside.

It's way colder
with the wind chill.

I'm out of OJ.
You'll have to go
to the grocery store.

That is if you can make it
there with all this weather
we've been having.

Are you
making fun of me?

Are you kidding?
I would never do that.

Liar!

All right, Lacey.
You're up.

What's going on
with you?

Not too much.

I got my car
repainted.

My ex-boyfriend
who I shot in the balls

is getting married
to the woman he cheated
on me with tonight.

Oh, and I found some
old muscle relaxers
under a couch cushion,

so that
should be fun.

I'm a little concerned
about this.

Oh, don't worry.
They may have lost
a little strength,

but you can always
recharge them with vodka.

Lacey,
you shot this guy.

You must still have
some anger towards him.

He's the whole reason
you're here.

I know I'm angry at him
that you're here.

Notice Charlie didn't hit
the button on that.

It's no big deal.
I never even think
about Julio anymore

or the way his head
would look on a stick.

Really?

And how would his head
look on that stick?

Great, because he would
be surprised.

He'd be like,
"How did you find me here
at Tarzana Methodist Church?

Damn, you look good.

Ow, you shot me again."

I don't want to get
ahead of ourselves,

but I think we're on
to something important here.

Really? What's that?

"Smellavator"!

What?

That's what Patrick
should call the elevator

that the lady
smells up.

Somebody should put
your head on a stick.

Except it'd be a waste
of a good stick.

Lacey, it's clear
that you're still really
angry at this guy.

And if you go to
that wedding, nothing good
will come from it.

Don't worry,
I'm not going.

Just because Julio
cheated on me

and completely
screwed up my life

doesn't mean he doesn't
deserve to be happy.

Oh, and that bitch
he's marrying,

I hope
she's happy, too.

Liar!

Hey, you're not
a doctor.

Hey, Sean.
Where's Charlie?

I've got the clinic budget
for him to look at.

He's in with the group.

Oh, okay.
Will you let him know
I stopped by?

Okay.

[ sighs ]
Not that I care,

but are you okay?

I'm so hot

and this tile floor
is so cool.

[ sighs ]

Oh, my God.
You're burning up.

Oh, if you think
my head is hot,

you should touch
my nipples.

Do it soft at first,

but then just kind of
slowly lean into it.

Listen, there's a really
bad flu going around.

You need to go
see a doctor.

Will you take me?
Please?

No.

Come on, I know
you like taking care
of things.

Charlie told me about
the bird that you found
with the broken wing.

I didn't find it.

It flew into the house
when I was trying to
shoo it out the window.

I broke its wing.

That's okay.
You let it live
with you, right?

Well...

it couldn't fly away
and I didn't want to touch it,

so I just threw worms
at it until it died.

Please, come on,
just take me to the doctor.

Or you can throw worms
at me until I die.

All right, fine.

- Come on.
- Oh.

[ knocks ]

- Lacey: Who is it?
- It's Charlie.

Look, I know tonight's
Julio's wedding.

I just want to make sure
you're not planning
anything crazy.

I'm not going to the wedding.

I'm going to my niece's birthday party

at Chuck E. Cheese, so please leave.

I'm not leaving
till you open this door.

Fine.

Chuck E. Cheese, huh?

Yeah, it's a new one
with bottle service.

They're trying something.

We're gonna talk.

I don't know what there is
to talk about, Charlie.

You're going
to that wedding.

Somebody's probably gonna get
hurt and you'll go to jail.

But maybe if you showed
the judge a picture
of this place,

you could get off
pleading insanity.

You're being ridiculous.

I'm going
to Chuck E. Cheese.

So the gun's in case
you want to jump the line
at Skee-Ball?

Charlie,
I can explain.

I'm listening.

The gun is in case
I want to jump the line
at Dance Dance Revolution,

which is my jam.

You're not going
to that wedding.

Yes, I am.

Julio doesn't deserve
to get married

and be happy
while I sit around
in this shoebox

with a stoner watching me
take a shower through
a hole in the wall.

Nolan does that?

And the guy on
the other side, too.

Lacey, you already
shot Julio once

and it didn't give you
any satisfaction then.

- Yes, it did.
- Well, not a lot.

- Yes, it did.
- Don't argue with me.

I'm your therapist
and I'm telling you
you're not satisfied.

Exactly, which is why
I want to shoot his
other ball off.

This bastard is about
to have everything.

He is the lowest
scum on earth

and someone
loves him.

Nobody loves me.

What does that
make me?

Lacey, lots of people
love you.

But nobody is
in love with me.

Now, I'm going
to that wedding

and nothing you can say
will stop me.

I'm in love with you.

What?

It's true.

It's been building up
for so long,

I didn't know how to tell you
or if you didn't believe me--

I guess
you believe me.

My therapist loves me,
just like in all the songs.

[ theme music playing ]

Can I--
can I have this?

Call me old-fashioned,

but I'm just not as turned on
by gunplay as I used to be.

You know, deep down,

I knew you always
loved me.

All those times
I was hitting on you

and you had to pretend
like you weren't into it

and you were all like,
"I'm your therapist.

I'll lose my license."

Right, my license.

I have
a confession to make.

Sometimes in therapy,
I'm not even listening.

I'm shocked.

I'm just fantasizing
about us.

I hope that's not what Ed's
doing when he's not listening.

[ laughs ]

Look at us,
just laughing together

at the other people
in the group.

We're so
above them now.

[ knocking ]

- Who is it?
- It's me, Nolan.

From next door
and your therapy group.

And from knocking
on the door right now.

- Should we tell him?
- No, no.

- It'll really hurt him.
- [ sighs ]

Hey, Nolan.
What's going on?

I heard everything
through one of the holes
I made in the wall.

Can we
tell him now?

I don't think
we have to.

Forget it, Charlie.
I'm not gonna stay here

and let you use
your therapy mind control
to make me believe

this is something it's not
because I'll fall for it.

I'm leaving!

I'll go
talk to him.

No, don't.
This is our night.

He's gonna be fine.

In a couple minutes
he'll be high and playing
video games

and his friends Mario
and Luigi will get him
through this.

But I need to tell him
how beautiful our love is

and how much
it means to me.

It'll take,
like, 30 seconds.

Sure, go over there

because everyone's
emotional distress is more
important than mine.

[ crying ]

Okay, fine, I'll stay.
I'll stay.

Hey, our first fight.

You know
what this means?

Makeup sex.

As your mental health
professional,

I'm happy to say that

you are in peak
physical condition.

Jordan!

[ sighs ]
What is it now?

I'm out of apple juice.

Did you finish
your chicken noodle soup?

I don't like chicken
and noodles.

I like chicken and stars.

The stars and the noodles
are made from the same thing.

But why do the stars
taste so much better?

I can't believe I have
to have you at my house.

I didn't ask
to come over here, okay?

The doctor said someone
needed to take care of me.

[ groans ]

I really appreciate
that you're doing this.

I know I can be
a pain in the ass.

You're not a pain
in the ass.

In fact, you're a lot less
disgusting when you're sick.

That's what my mom
always said.

Can I get
another blanket?

Oh, look,
it's got horsies.

Now, get some sleep

while I try to find
a very tiny knife

and cut your noodles
into stars.

Thank you.

You know, you're like
a little Florence Henderson.

Nightingale?

Henderson. The mom from
"The Brady Bunch."

She took care
of all those kids.

Half of them
weren't even hers.

You know, I think she was
banging one of them

when the cameras
were off.

Good night.

[ sneezes ]

- Bless you.
- [ sneezes ]

Ugh, you're getting it
all over the room.

[ sneezes ]

Oh, crap.

You know, I'm still
waiting on those stars.

I don't understand.
Why do you want to wait
before we have sex?

- You said you loved me.
- I do.

But I also like romance.

You know, holding hands,
long walks on the beach.

You know, stuff on
the beach with hands.

We should do
all that

right after we screw
each other's brains out.

Sorry.

I mean make love
each other's brains out.

I know you like
romance.

Okay. Okay, look.

I do like romance,
but I want to do
this right.

Like, do you have
any massage oils?

Oh, yeah.

Not the regular ones.
The ones that heat up.

- 'Cause I got to have that.
- Oh, yup. Got it.

Okay, good, good.
Good, good, good.

What about condoms?
I forgot condoms.

Don't worry,
I've got some.

- Ribbed for your pleasure?
- Yes.

- Ribbed on the inside
for mine?
- Yes.

They havethose?

I just turn them
inside out.

Smart.

Ah, flavored.

I insist on
being considerate.

I got it.

- Cherry?
- Yes.

- Chocolate?
- Yes.

Mocha Frappuccino?

No.

Well, then how in the hell
are we supposed to have sex?

- [ knocking ]
- Patrick: Let us in.

It's Patrick, Nolan,
and Ed.

- Go away.
- No, it's fine.
I got this.

It's the perfect time
to explain that this is not
going to affect the group.

Good luck.
They're not gonna like it now
that I'm the queen of therapy

and can tell them
to shut up whenever I want.

Yeah, I'll deal with that
and you go get dressed.

Okay.
Shut up, everybody!

Well, well, well.

Looks like somebody's been
dipping his company pen

in the India ink.

I told you.

Is she gonna get to be
queen of the group now

and tell us all
to shut up?

Because if she is...
I don't even know.

No, she's not
the queen.

We're not in love.

I'm just pretending
to keep her away from
that wedding.

Just one more hour.
Play along, guys.

Explain again.

Not clear.

Still confused.

I will explain it to her
in a little bit,

but for now, just pretend like
you're cool with everything
and she'll buy it.

Did you tell them
about us, Charlie?

- Oh, yeah, congratulations.
- So happy for you.

Thank you.
That means
so much to me.

Hey, she bought it!

Bought it?

You lying bastard.

Lacey, I never meant
to hurt you.

And clearly I forgot
to factor in

that Nolan
is always high.

What are you
worried about?
She bought it.

I got to be careful
with the cough syrup.

I'm in recovery.

You already drank
half the bottle.

It was good.
[ laughs ]

A delightful
generic 2014

from the rolling estates
of DrugCo Pharmaceuticals.

Mmm.

Well...

can I interest you

in an after-dinner
expectorant, my dear?

You know, Sean,

this may be the drugs
talking, but...

"Hello,
I'm the drugs!"

[ laughs ]

[ laughs ]

I think
my fever broke.

Why do you
think that?

Because I am
covered in sweat.

Maybe that's because
you're sitting next to me.

Then why are you
covered in sweat?

Because I am in me.

Shut up
and feel my head.

You know, I never
noticed this before,

but your skin
is very clammy.

And your eyes are so...

red and watery.

If I throw up on you,
don't take it personally.

I never do.

I can't believe you made me
think that you loved me.

How could you
do that to me?

Lacey, I'm so sorry.
I was desperate.

I was trying to save
you from yourself.

I didn't need
to be saved.

Even if I got caught,
I wasn't going to jail.

Juries love me.
You saw my boobs.

I did.

They're very
persuasive.

But I think we've moved beyond
a boob-based justice system.

Now it's more about money
and racial discrimination.

Oh, my God.
I feel like such a fool.

I threw myself
at you.

You saw me naked.

I had no idea
that was gonna happen.

And by the way,
you get naked
way too quick,

and that's
coming from me.

You know what?
Despite what you think,

I do not get naked in front
of men that easy.

Now I could never sit across
from you in therapy.

Oh, Lacey,
please don't quit.

After all
my help tonight,

you're gonna need
a lot of therapy.

What can I do to make you
more comfortable in group?

I can only think
of one thing.

Anything.

Get naked
in front of me.

- Really?
- Yeah.

Everything--
pants to the ground.

That's the only thing that'll
put us back on equal footing.

If that's what
it's gonna take.

This is worth it,

'cause at least you
didn't go to that church

and do something stupid.

Like you just did?

Pretty much.

- Ah.
- Oh, my God.

What did we just do?

Didn't your parents
ever explain it to you?

Because I can walk
you through it again

very slowly
with a pointer.

This is terrible.

Don't act like you
didn't have a good time.

No, I loved it.
That's why it's
so terrible.

Baby, stop denying
what you're feeling.

You don't know
what I'm feeling.

You didn't sleep
with you.

The only reason
this happened

was because I was half crazy
off of cough medicine

and delusional from having
an insanely high fever,

which right now is 102.

That's still three degrees
till I know what I'm doing.

Let's go.

Lacey, stop.

You don't want to go in there
and ruin that wedding.

Just because I'm gonna
bash in Julio's face
with a tire iron

doesn't mean that people
still can't hang around
and have a good time.

I think it does.

It puts a damper
on the festivities.

At the very least,
it changes the vibe.

- You don't know
what he did, Charlie.
- He cheated on you.

You shot his ball off.
Why ruin his wedding?

You're already sending him
off on a one-ball honeymoon.

It was worse than that.
Way worse, okay?

You don't understand.

Make me understand.

He hit me, okay?

And no one should ever
hit anybody.

So if you mention
this in group,

I swear to God,
I will beat you within
an inch of your life.

Why didn't you tell me
so I could help you with this?

Because I didn't
want to create a lot
of drama, okay?

Now if you'll excuse me,
I'm going into that wedding

to beat this man
in front of God
and everyone he knows.

Give me
the tire iron.

Okay, good,
you hit him with that.
I'll find something else.

Lacey, wait.

I know you'd love
to kick his ass,

but what I think you need
to do is forgive him.

Forgive him?

- Give me back
my tire iron.
- No.

This isn't for him.
This is for you.

Until you forgive him
and let this go,

you're never gonna have
any peace of mind.

- Then we might
as well go home.
- No.

Don't you know the best
time to forgive somebody

for a lot
of horrible things?

Right in the middle
of their wedding.

Julio!

Don't worry,
I just came to
forgive you.

I forgive you for cheating
on me with that ho.

I also forgive you
for taking the money

I gave you
for your dog's surgery

and using it to buy
breast implants for that ho.

No, not the bride ho.

The maid of honor ho.

I also forgive you
for posting

those horrible naked
photos of me online

when you knew
there were a lot of really
good ones to choose from.

I forgive you
for listening to me

when I told you
to take ecstasy

and make love
to your friend Todd.

It wasn't a turn-on
for me after all.

Hey, Todd.

But mostly,
I forgive you

for being
a heartless bastard

who wasted two years
of my life.

And I wish nothing
but the best for your bride.

By the way, girlfriend,

watch out when he
comes home drunk.

He likes to lead
with his left.

Oh, yeah, he won't use
his right hand.

That's his porn hand.

He likes
the granny stuff.

Wow.

So, do you
feel better?

Yeah.

Forgiveness
is amazing.

I should totally forgive
my mother

for all the crap she did
to me when I was a child.

Oh, she's being honored
at a charity luncheon tomorrow.

- I'll do it there.
- You know what?
You know what?

I think we've had enough
forgiveness for one week.

Yeah, maybe
you're right.

By any chance, is she
having a big birthday
party anytime soon?

'Cause invite me.
I'd like to see that, too.