All language subtitles for Anger.Management.S02E47.Charlie.and.the.Pajama.Intervention.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-alfaHD_track4_[eng]

I say we give Charlie
five more minutes

and then we go
the hell home.

Well, we might as well
do something constructive
while we're waiting.

I'm cleaning out
my purse.

Hey, you dropped
something.

[ vibrating ]

Why do you have this
little vibrating lipstick?

[ lipstick rattling ]

Because her big,
black lipstick is at home.

Oh, hey, guys.

Sorry I'm late.

My golf cart
doesn't go over 20.

You drove home
in a golf cart?

I finished a round with
some friends I met last night

and afterwards, we stopped
at the clubhouse to get
a couple of drinks.

And when I say,
"a couple of drinks,"

I don't mean three drinks,
I don't mean five drinks,

I mean four.

I can't believe
you drove drunk.

Oh, I didn't.
I met a couple of gals
who were nice enough

to give me a ride home
in their golf cart.

What happened
to your car?

What happened to your car?

It's in the driveway.

Well, great.
When we're done,
maybe you can give me

a ride back to the golf course
and I can look for my car.

Hey. What the hell's
going on?

I thought we were taking
the girls to breakfast?

They're out there
waiting in the cart.

I got group.

You said you were coming in
here to use the bathroom.

Well, I was
till I realized
I got group.

Hey, Lacey.

Gross.

Okay, you know what?
I cheated on you,
I made a mistake,

and I'm not
that guy anymore.

I'm going to
borrow your hose.

The girls and I are going
to shoot a little video
in your driveway.

All right,
who wants to lead off?

Come on, people,
give me your anger.

Well, I had one thing
happen to me yesterday,

but it'll be
easier for me

to explain if I tell you
what happened the day before.

But to set that up,

let me tell you what happened
the day before that.

Oh, my God!
Make it stop.

Charlie?

Damn. What the hell
is wrong with that boy?

That's two sessions
in a row.

Obviously,
Charlie's just
checked out,

so I'm leaving.

[ water running ]

- Woman: Oh, that's cold.
- Sean: I know, right?

Let's go out
the back.

[ theme music playing ]

- Hey, Jo-Jo.
- It's Jordan.

I know.

You're early.

I won't be ready
with my snappy comebacks
for another hour,

Hawaiian shirt guy.
See, I'm not ready.

My group walked out on me
in the middle of a session,
can you believe that?

- What happened?
- I don't know,
I was asleep.

You know what?
I'm done talking.

I am way too busy
reviewing couples
having sex for our study

to let your personal life
intrude with my work.

Holy crap.

Is that you having sex

with one of our
research subjects?

Of course not.

That would be a complete
violation to our study.

It is!
It's you!

There's your face!
Wait, it's gone.

There it is!
Wait, gone.

Th-- there!
Gone.

That's impossible.

I never had sex
with anybody here.

Oh, crap.
The camera was on?

What were you thinking?
They could have us shut down.

I felt sorry for her.

She was in a bad marriage
for years and she never
had an orgasm.

So you were performing
an act of kindness?

Technically, it was
four acts of kindness.

Aren't you worried
that her husband

is going to find you
and kill you?

Should I be worried?

'Cause I wasn't.

And according to her,
he never finishes anything.

You are completely
out of control and headed
for a cliff.

You could have
jeopardized our
entire study

- for five minutes of...
- [ video fast-forwarding ]

...10 minutes of...

20 minutes of...
who are you?

Just fast-forward
to the end.

It's like an hour
and a half long.

Oh, God.

He's in really
bad shape.

Yeah, but it looks
like he created a really
cool sport.

Charlie? Charlie.

[ yells ]
I gave her the orgasm
you never could.

You sure did take a lot
of equipment to do it.

It's just us, Charlie.
Take it easy.

Oh, sorry, guys.

I was expecting
somebody else.

But, hey, you're all here,
let's get started.

It's 8:00 in the morning,
Charlie.

We're not here for group,
we're here because we're
worried about you.

Yeah, you're acting
like a completely
different person.

And I can't
just stand by

and do nothing
like I'm at work
or something.

This is tough love,
Charlie.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

- What the hell are
you guys doing?
- Nothing.

We just came over
to share our feelings

about what's
going on with you.

And then drag
you to UCLA

for a psychiatric
evaluation.

Guys, guys,
you're worried for nothing.

Everything
is perfectly normal.

[ cat meows ]

Oh, hey,
when did I
buy a cat?

We've all written
a little something down

to express
how we feel.

I'll start.

"Charlie, I've always
trusted you as a therapist,

but lately, you've been
drinking and irresponsible
and letting me down.

Since you won't
help yourself,

you've forced us
to help you."

- I thought you were
going to cry there.
- Yeah, I didn't feel it

and I wasn't
going to push it.
Nolan.

I'm going to
make this real easy.

You get in my car
and I'm going to drive you

to the loony bin
and get you zip-zapped.

Maybe you're right.
Maybe I could use some help.

Let me just get
a cup of coffee

and then we'll go.

Great.

Aren't you cute
stumbling down here
in your little pajamas?

Are you lost?
Do you want me to call
your mama for you?

Would you pour me
a Bloody Mary, please?

Precocious little fella,
aren't you?

If anybody calls
looking for me,
I'm not here.

And if a bounty hunter
named Snake calls,

same for me.

Uh, your credit card
was declined.

What?!

Damn it,
I just made a payment.

I'll tell you what,
as soon as I get someone
on the phone,

I am going to rip them
a new one.

[ phone rings ]

Woman:
Thank you for calling
Sun Valley Savings and Loan.

Your call is
very important to us.
Good-bye.

[ dial tone ]

Make it to go.

You guys,
he's not coming back.

I told you
this was a dumb idea.

There's only
one thing to do--

see if he has some kind of
journal or diary.

What would we want
with his diary?

To protect it

from nosey people
who might want
to read it...

and silently
judge him.

Look, our friend Charlie

is out there somewhere
hurting.

He probably
needs our help.

But since we don't
have time for that,

I say we dump him.

Yeah, he's gone
bat-crap crazy.

Wait a second.
We got to give him
another chance, you guys.

He's our dad.

I mean, I don't want
to talk anymore.

Let's take a vote.

Everybody who wants
to find another therapist,
raise your hand.

No, wait.
This should be
a secret ballot.

She's right.

Everyone close
their eyes.

All right,

anyone who thinks
we should find another
therapist,

raise your hand.

Wait a minute.
Something's wrong here.

- Can I help you, sir?
- Hang on a second.

I want you to say,

"Your call
is very important to us."

Uh... "Your call
is very important to us."

All right, you're cool.

Anyway,

my credit card was declined
and I'd like to know why.

I'm sorry, sir.

It appears there were
some suspicious purchases.

Two cases of vodka.

Mine.

Charges were made
simultaneously

at two different strip clubs
on opposite sides of town.

It wasn't easy,
but I did it.

And a $1,200 watch

was purchased from
Beverly Hills Jewelers.

Okay, okay, okay.
That was not me!

I haven't been
in Beverly Hills since--

Oh, hey, wow.
Look at this thing.

[ sighs ]

Anyway, any other charges
I should know about?

No, but if you'll
show me your ID,

we can reactivate
your card right away

and you're not
responsible for anything

but the five-dollar
teller charge.

Teller charge?

Yes, there's
a five-dollar charge

for speaking
to a live teller.

What?
You're kidding me.

I believe the bank
sent a letter to
every customer.

The bank sent me a letter?

Well, how rude of me
not to respond.

You know what?

I'm going to write you
a letter right now.

"I want five dollars."

Sir, are you
robbing the bank?

No. No, this bank
is robbing me!

Hear that,
everybody?

This bank is robbing
all of us.

Five dollars at a time
for speaking to a human being.

What's next,
an ATM fee?

Uh, sir,
there is an ATM fee.

And it's begun.

Sir, would you
please calm down?

Don't tell me
to calm down.

I'm a licensed
anger management
therapist.

I'll tell you
when to calm down.

You're disturbing
the other customers.

Also, you're required
to wear pants in the bank.

Oh, yeah?
Really?

What about this lady
in the sundress?

Is she required
to wear pants?

No, sir.

It's just that
pajama bottoms
are not pants.

Real pants are something
you don't sleep in.

You, sir,
do not know
how I live.

I'm going to have to
ask you to leave.

Those are pajamas,
they're not pants.

These are pants!

Do you want to see
no pants? Fine!

This is no pants!

I could have sworn
I was wearing underwear.

Sorry I'm late, guys.

I had to go home
and change.

I spent last night
in jail.

That's right.
The pokey.

The slammer.
The hoosegow.

Oh, big deal.
I had a pokey slammed

into my hoosegow
this morning.

How'd you get
in trouble, Charlie?

I was protesting
an injustice at my bank.

That's what I did, too.

I protested an injustice

at a bunch of banks.

Well, mine was
a legitimate protest.

And luckily,
they let me bail myself out
with my credit card.

Oh, I didn't know
you could do that.

So can you bail
yourself out

with somebody's credit card
who you killed?

Wayne, I don't think bail
is ever going to be
an issue for you.

Anyway, I'm in
a bad situation.

The bank dropped
the charges, but I might
lose my therapy license.

Damn.

Turns out,
the APA frowns on therapists

who expose themselves
in places where people bank.

All that time in college,
nobody said a word.

Is there anything
we can do to help?

Well, I do have to go
before the ethics board

and I could
really use you guys
as character witnesses.

I look forward to testifying
for you, Charlie.

I get a lot
out of these sessions.

However, I do feel
compelled to tell you

that I will be
escaping afterwards

and settling some scores.

Okay.

Ernesto, maybe you could
speak to the board
on my behalf.

[ chuckles ]
I'll tell the truth,
Charlie.

And if any of them
look at you funny,

I'll slit their throats.

Okay.

I just realized
I've only got one spot...

and it's Cleo.

Oh, goodie, goodie,
goodie, goodie, goodie.

Oh, there's just
one question.

Charlie, can the men
who escort me out of prison

be small, weak men
who are slow runners?

Cleo, you can't escape.

Oh, who said anything
about escaping, honey?

How did the four of you
end up coming to see me?

Well, first we went
to see Dr. Goldfarb

and then
Dr. Blitzstein

and then some
Dr. Jewsenheimer
or something.

Excuse him, Dr. Russell.

Ed has certain
old-fashioned ideas.

And by that,
I mean he's a huge bigot.

That's interesting.
We'll get back to that.

And by the way, Ed,
it's "Jewsenhemer."
He's a colleague.

See, I wasn't
being a bigot.

I told you Jews
have funny names.

Not Chinese funny,
but funny.

He always does that
and he's constantly
attacking me.

Oh, I never attack him.

He's just sensitive because
he's more woman than man.

I think you two
need to do a soul stare

in the resolution circle.

Pardon me?

Stand up,
face each other,

hold hands,
stare into each other's eyes,

and apologize
with your eyes.

It's been nice knowing you.

Do it.

I now pronounce you
man and disgusting old man.

This is ridiculous.

Charlie would have never
made us do anything
this uncomfortable.

Yeah,
so whatever you do,

don't make me
lay on top of Lacey
or anything.

I think we need
to do a soul stare
in the resolution shower.

What is wrong
with you people?

Well, if you can't
figure that out, then why
are we paying you?

Let's go, everybody.

I guess this
is not working out,
Dr. "Russellstein."

- It's just Dr. Russell.
- That may be the problem.

- Oh, hey, Jordan.
- Oh, don't "Oh, hey,
Jordan" me.

You need me to testify
on your behalf before
the ethics committee

and you leave me
a voice mail an hour
before it's happening.

You're a psychopath.

Okay, but let's not
lead with that.

I'm not doing this.
I'm no good unless
I'm prepared.

Fine, then
just sit here.

It'll look good
that somebody came
to support me.

Hello, Mr. Goodson.
I'm Dr. Richter.

And these are
Drs. Everett
and Jewsenheimer.

"Hemer."

Sorry.

Are you ready to begin?

Yes, we are.

This is Dr. Jordan Denby
here to speak on my behalf.

And go.

Hello.

Someone once told me that
when speaking to a group
to start with a joke.

So how many psychologists

does it take
to change a lightbulb?

One...

but the lightbulb
has to really want to change.

Oh, dear God.

Keep going.
You're doing great.

Hello again.

I haven't worked
with Charlie very long,

but I did get
to know him pretty well
when he locked me in a room.

I know that sounds terrible,

but in his defense,
he had got me drunk.

[ laughs ]
Because I was upset

that he forced me
to watch people having sex.

You can stop now,
you're doing terrible.

Thank you.

I'm here.

Hey, guys.

They look fun.

I'd like to introduce
Dr. Sean Healy...

as a character reference.

Uh, hi.
Charlie's my neighbor.

I've known him
a long time.

A great guy.

Exactly how long
have you known him?

Well, I've been living
next door to him for

almost two...

weeks now.

But I've been
having sex with his ex-wife
for almost a year.

Uh, that kind of blew up,

uh, after I lost my job

and ended up having sex
with someone from his group.

But now
I run a pretty--

pretty successful

string of strip clubs.

So...

Great guy.

Hi.

Do you have anyone else,
Mr. Goodson?

Nope. Those were
the highlights.

So, Mr. Goodson,
we need to assess
whether your conduct

has damaged your ability

to be a viable provider
of mental health care.

You need
to start crying.

What?
I'm not crying.

It's how girls
get out of things.

I'm not a girl.

It's your only chance.

- I'm not doing it.
- Fine, your funeral.

Mr. Goodson, you may want
to take advantage

of this opportunity
to speak on your own behalf.

[ sighs ]

Thank you.

So I pulled my pants down
at a bank,

but haven't you
all been so frustrated
with needless bureaucracy

that you wanted to pull
your pants down at a bank?

Of course you have,
but you needed a guy like me
to do it first.

Don't you see?

I didn't just
pull my pants down,

I pulled
all our pants down.

- Hey, Charlie.
- You guys came!

Yeah, we're here
to speak on behalf

of our therapist,
Charlie Goodson.

Hey, ethics people.

Guys, I cannot tell you
how much this means to me

and, trust me,
if I'm still your
therapist by tomorrow,

I promise to clean up
my act around all you guys.

Don't worry, Charlie,
we got this.

Sorry, Charlie,
I thought for sure
we had it.

Well, you tried.

Though it doesn't help
an anger management therapist

when his patient's launch
into a screaming slap fight

to decide who's going to
defend him first.

Yeah, you're right.

Lacey, I'm sorry
I pointed at you
in anger.

Thanks, Ed.

I'm sorry
I bit your finger.

Charlie, can I talk to you
for a minute in private?

Actually,
anything that
you say to me,

you can say
in front of them.

They are no longer my group,
they are my friends.

I'm his friend.

I'm such a better friend
to him than you.

Okay, I know
I let you down,

so I went to
the board afterwards

and I got you
disciplinary
probation.

You get to keep
your license.

[ cheers ]

What-- what? How?

Did you learn
a new joke?

Nope.

I said all these
amazing things
about you,

and when that
didn't do it,
I cried.

Works every time.

- Well, I guess I should go.
- No, wait, wait, wait.

Jordan,
you're a good person

and I haven't
been fair to you.

So I thought now would
be a good time to thank you
for all that you did for me.

That is so sweet.

But I'm not going to

because you'll
get psychotically
overemotional

and cause
a huge scene.

You're probably right.

- I'm your therapist again.
- [ cheers ]

But-- but-- but this is not
going to be on their terms,

it's going to be on mine.

We're going to get rid
of the old, dead methods

and do things differently.

What the hell
does that mean?

It means that
we're going to start by

having today's session
at the horse track.

Why the hell
would we go there?

What better place to learn
the ups and downs of life?

Plus, they got beer
and hot dogs. Let's go.

Wait, wait,
wait, wait.

What if somebody

from the ethics board
stops by to check on you?

Who cares?
We're not going to be here.