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1
00:00:01,653 --> 00:00:03,220
Welcome, everyone.
2
00:00:03,264 --> 00:00:05,396
You may have noticed
we have a new member with us.
3
00:00:05,440 --> 00:00:06,832
- This is Bob.
- Hey, guys.
4
00:00:06,876 --> 00:00:08,051
- Hey.
- Hello.
5
00:00:08,095 --> 00:00:09,661
Bob got into
a little legal trouble
6
00:00:09,705 --> 00:00:13,404
where he works...
at Wendy's.
7
00:00:13,448 --> 00:00:16,494
You want to tell the group
what caused the judge to
recommend counseling?
8
00:00:16,538 --> 00:00:19,628
I had a disagreement
with my boss.
9
00:00:19,671 --> 00:00:22,457
And you felt that warranted
taking your Subaru
10
00:00:22,500 --> 00:00:25,416
and turning
the regular entrance into
a drive-thru entrance?
11
00:00:25,460 --> 00:00:28,680
Truth is I've always
had issues with anger.
12
00:00:28,724 --> 00:00:32,119
My boss at Wendy's
was kind of disrespectful.
13
00:00:32,162 --> 00:00:34,643
Oh, also,
I'm the Devil.
14
00:00:35,818 --> 00:00:38,516
Bob, just because people
vilify us
15
00:00:38,560 --> 00:00:40,388
or we feel guilty
about a certain incident,
16
00:00:40,431 --> 00:00:42,042
that doesn't mean
we're the Devil.
17
00:00:42,085 --> 00:00:43,869
You're right,
we're not the Devil.
18
00:00:43,913 --> 00:00:46,872
I'm the Devil and I don't
feel guilty about anything.
19
00:00:46,916 --> 00:00:50,615
Okay, did the new guy
just say that he was
the Devil?
20
00:00:50,659 --> 00:00:52,791
Yes, but we need
confirmation.
21
00:00:52,835 --> 00:00:56,056
Ed, is this the man
you work for?
22
00:00:57,318 --> 00:01:01,061
No! And I'm pretty sure
that's just an expression.
23
00:01:01,104 --> 00:01:04,020
Back in the day,
when a fella called
himself the Devil,
24
00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:06,675
that just meant
he liked big gals.
25
00:01:06,718 --> 00:01:09,199
No, actually,
I meant that I am Satan.
26
00:01:09,243 --> 00:01:12,768
Ruler of the underworld.
He of the cloven hoof.
27
00:01:14,813 --> 00:01:16,337
Well, this is all
news to me, Bob.
28
00:01:16,380 --> 00:01:18,295
But there's nothing here in
your file that says anything
29
00:01:18,339 --> 00:01:20,645
about you being
the Prince of Darkness.
30
00:01:20,689 --> 00:01:22,430
Although I did kind of
skip over that you listed
31
00:01:22,473 --> 00:01:25,563
your emergency contact
as Charles Manson.
32
00:01:25,607 --> 00:01:28,784
He's always home.
Seemed like a natural.
33
00:01:28,827 --> 00:01:30,829
Okay, I got to go.
I can't sit here anymore.
34
00:01:30,873 --> 00:01:32,614
Lacey, if Bob's making you
uncomfortable--
35
00:01:32,657 --> 00:01:36,008
No, I just got waxed
and my shorts are sticking.
36
00:01:36,052 --> 00:01:37,793
I did that.
37
00:01:39,229 --> 00:01:41,840
So you're the Devil, huh?
38
00:01:41,884 --> 00:01:45,714
Tell your buddy Barack
he's doing a hell of a job.
39
00:01:46,410 --> 00:01:48,804
I will.
Oh, just so everybody knows,
40
00:01:48,847 --> 00:01:50,501
I'm still in the market
for souls.
41
00:01:50,545 --> 00:01:53,591
So if you have one to sell
for an unfulfilled dream
or desire,
42
00:01:53,635 --> 00:01:55,158
I'm your guy.
43
00:01:55,202 --> 00:01:57,595
Bob, I'm going to
let you stay in group
44
00:01:57,639 --> 00:01:59,119
under one condition:
45
00:01:59,162 --> 00:02:00,903
that you stop talking about
all this Devil stuff.
46
00:02:00,946 --> 00:02:02,296
Deal.
47
00:02:02,339 --> 00:02:03,688
I have something
I'd like to talk about.
48
00:02:03,732 --> 00:02:04,863
Nolan has the floor.
49
00:02:04,907 --> 00:02:07,866
I really like Lacey a lot
50
00:02:07,910 --> 00:02:10,652
and I would do anything
to get her to like me.
51
00:02:10,695 --> 00:02:13,524
I would give anything.
52
00:02:13,568 --> 00:02:14,960
Sell anything.
53
00:02:15,004 --> 00:02:16,527
- Nolan!
- Done.
54
00:02:18,007 --> 00:02:20,140
- She's yours.
- Bob, we had a deal.
55
00:02:20,183 --> 00:02:22,490
Yeah, but it was
with the Devil.
56
00:02:22,533 --> 00:02:25,797
Okay, I'm going
to say something that
I've never said before.
57
00:02:27,016 --> 00:02:30,367
No selling souls in group.
58
00:02:30,411 --> 00:02:32,369
I never put that
in the rules
59
00:02:32,413 --> 00:02:34,980
'cause I didn't think
I had to.
60
00:02:35,024 --> 00:02:37,026
[ theme music playing ]
61
00:02:41,596 --> 00:02:44,903
Yay! Mom's dead.
62
00:02:44,947 --> 00:02:47,167
You're no fun.
63
00:02:47,210 --> 00:02:49,691
You used to love my Halloween
pranks when you were little.
64
00:02:49,734 --> 00:02:52,215
You'd cry,
you had nightmares,
you peed your bed.
65
00:02:52,259 --> 00:02:53,825
It was awesome.
66
00:02:53,869 --> 00:02:57,002
Mom, I want to talk
to you about Halloween.
67
00:02:57,046 --> 00:02:59,309
- I can't wait.
- Stacy's having a party,
68
00:02:59,353 --> 00:03:00,919
so I'm not going
to be able to stay.
69
00:03:00,963 --> 00:03:03,313
Okay.
70
00:03:03,357 --> 00:03:05,446
You can go
to Stacy's at 9:00,
71
00:03:05,489 --> 00:03:06,925
but until then,
72
00:03:06,969 --> 00:03:09,798
we're having forced
mother-daughter fun.
73
00:03:09,841 --> 00:03:11,800
[ screams ]
74
00:03:11,843 --> 00:03:13,628
My thumb!
75
00:03:13,671 --> 00:03:15,238
Oh, I cut my thumb!
76
00:03:15,282 --> 00:03:16,892
Nice try, Mom.
77
00:03:16,935 --> 00:03:20,069
Oh, God,
this isn't about you!
This is real!
78
00:03:20,112 --> 00:03:22,245
This is bad.
I need to go to the hospital.
79
00:03:22,289 --> 00:03:23,681
You're going
to have to drive.
80
00:03:23,725 --> 00:03:25,509
I get to drive?!
81
00:03:25,553 --> 00:03:28,077
No, sucker!
82
00:03:30,949 --> 00:03:32,647
- Hey.
- Hey.
83
00:03:34,170 --> 00:03:36,868
So are you going to
dress up for Halloween?
84
00:03:36,912 --> 00:03:40,872
I was going to
go as a giant dick,
but you beat me to it.
85
00:03:40,916 --> 00:03:43,919
That's painful
and I'm hurt.
86
00:03:43,962 --> 00:03:47,401
Seriously, why do you
look like an idiot?
87
00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:50,839
Well, with Halloween
coming up, I asked
everyone in my group
88
00:03:50,882 --> 00:03:52,928
to dress in
whatever costume
89
00:03:52,971 --> 00:03:55,713
they felt expressed
where they're at
in their life.
90
00:03:55,757 --> 00:03:58,020
So you're
the Johnnie Walker
whiskey guy?
91
00:03:58,673 --> 00:04:00,675
No, I'm the Mad--
92
00:04:00,718 --> 00:04:03,243
yes,
I'm the Johnnie Walker
whiskey guy.
93
00:04:05,854 --> 00:04:07,029
Why are you here?
94
00:04:07,072 --> 00:04:10,380
I wanted to see
if you would join me
95
00:04:10,424 --> 00:04:12,077
for a double date
on Halloween.
96
00:04:12,121 --> 00:04:13,688
A double date?
97
00:04:13,731 --> 00:04:15,733
Gee whiz, who do I get,
Laverne or Shirley?
98
00:04:17,648 --> 00:04:19,868
You get Carlita.
99
00:04:19,911 --> 00:04:23,088
Whoa. She's hot.
What's her story?
100
00:04:23,132 --> 00:04:25,090
She's a motorcycle model.
101
00:04:25,134 --> 00:04:28,006
Really helps to get
into soft-core porn.
102
00:04:28,050 --> 00:04:31,053
Hey, Charlie.
I just dropped Ed off.
103
00:04:31,096 --> 00:04:33,098
Hi, I'm Martin.
Charlie's dad.
104
00:04:33,142 --> 00:04:35,449
- How are you, sir?
- Sir, I like that.
105
00:04:35,492 --> 00:04:37,102
- And you are?
- I'm Sean.
106
00:04:37,146 --> 00:04:38,626
I'm Charlie's
new neighbor.
107
00:04:38,669 --> 00:04:41,411
I was just setting
your son up
108
00:04:41,455 --> 00:04:44,022
with a young lady
that I met in church.
109
00:04:44,066 --> 00:04:46,721
Church going young man.
I like that, too.
110
00:04:46,764 --> 00:04:49,637
- My dad is
a hard-core Catholic.
- Oh, really?
111
00:04:49,680 --> 00:04:53,423
The girl I'm setting
him up with is more
like soft-core.
112
00:04:54,729 --> 00:04:56,905
Please, God, someday
she'll be be hard-core.
113
00:04:56,948 --> 00:04:59,168
Fingers crossed.
114
00:05:00,735 --> 00:05:02,258
What's her name?
115
00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:04,304
- Carlita.
- So, Charlie,
116
00:05:04,347 --> 00:05:06,044
maybe you could
take this Carlita
117
00:05:06,088 --> 00:05:08,177
to a church function
for your first date.
118
00:05:08,220 --> 00:05:09,787
I'm not going back
to church, Dad.
119
00:05:09,831 --> 00:05:12,355
It took me years to get
going-to-hell stuff
out of my head.
120
00:05:12,399 --> 00:05:16,011
Now if you'll excuse me,
the Devil wants his
blueberry muffin.
121
00:05:19,275 --> 00:05:22,844
So, Sean,
could we talk?
122
00:05:22,887 --> 00:05:25,890
Nolan, you're supposed
to wear a costume
123
00:05:25,934 --> 00:05:28,153
that represents
where you think
you are in life.
124
00:05:28,197 --> 00:05:29,677
I am.
125
00:05:29,720 --> 00:05:31,722
I think I'm in California.
126
00:05:34,029 --> 00:05:36,336
Hey, Charlie,
can I talk to you?
127
00:05:36,379 --> 00:05:39,034
- I got a big problem.
- What is it?
128
00:05:39,077 --> 00:05:40,862
I'm really scared.
129
00:05:40,905 --> 00:05:43,386
I never should have
sold my soul to Bob
so Lacey would love me.
130
00:05:43,430 --> 00:05:46,215
Nolan, you didn't sell
your soul to anybody.
131
00:05:46,258 --> 00:05:48,173
Trust me,
as a recovering Catholic,
132
00:05:48,217 --> 00:05:50,088
I know that the Devil
goes by many names.
133
00:05:50,132 --> 00:05:51,873
Bob ain't one of them.
134
00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:55,180
Trust me,
you're safe.
135
00:05:57,008 --> 00:05:59,620
Patrick, an astronaut.
What's up with that?
136
00:05:59,663 --> 00:06:03,101
Well, I looked
at my life
137
00:06:03,145 --> 00:06:05,365
and I feel
138
00:06:05,408 --> 00:06:08,498
like I'm floating
in space
139
00:06:08,542 --> 00:06:10,979
completely alone.
140
00:06:11,022 --> 00:06:13,808
Also, I'm really
kind of above everybody.
141
00:06:16,114 --> 00:06:18,073
Ed, I love what you got
going on here.
142
00:06:19,814 --> 00:06:21,468
Your wife threw
you out of the house,
143
00:06:21,511 --> 00:06:23,992
you're shacking up
somewhere else,
money's tight.
144
00:06:24,035 --> 00:06:25,123
Is that why you
dressed like a hobo?
145
00:06:25,167 --> 00:06:27,125
No, no,
that's Patrick.
146
00:06:27,169 --> 00:06:30,477
I'm not--
oh, you said hobo.
147
00:06:35,090 --> 00:06:37,397
You heard him just fine,
didn't you?
148
00:06:37,440 --> 00:06:38,963
Yeah.
149
00:06:39,007 --> 00:06:41,966
I picked this costume
just for that joke.
[ laughs ]
150
00:06:45,187 --> 00:06:47,798
And, Bob,
you are dressed like...
151
00:06:47,842 --> 00:06:49,234
The Devil.
152
00:06:51,062 --> 00:06:52,368
Where's Lacey?
153
00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:54,239
She should be here
any minute.
154
00:06:55,763 --> 00:06:57,112
Hey.
155
00:06:59,244 --> 00:07:00,594
Speak of the me.
156
00:07:02,247 --> 00:07:04,815
Behold, Cleopatra,
157
00:07:04,859 --> 00:07:06,861
Queen of the Nile.
158
00:07:06,904 --> 00:07:08,210
Way to go, Lacey.
159
00:07:08,253 --> 00:07:10,255
And what makes you feel
like Cleopatra?
160
00:07:10,299 --> 00:07:12,954
Well, she was
super strong
161
00:07:12,997 --> 00:07:15,173
and, like,
super smart
162
00:07:15,217 --> 00:07:18,481
and she totally
ruled her people
163
00:07:18,525 --> 00:07:20,962
and she was great
in the sack.
164
00:07:21,005 --> 00:07:22,485
But ultimately,
165
00:07:22,529 --> 00:07:25,140
she gave up
her entire kingdom
166
00:07:25,183 --> 00:07:27,969
for the man
that she loved.
167
00:07:28,012 --> 00:07:30,319
Holy hell.
168
00:07:31,538 --> 00:07:33,975
[ laughing devilishly ]
169
00:07:34,018 --> 00:07:35,542
Shut up, Bob.
170
00:07:35,585 --> 00:07:37,282
Sorry.
171
00:07:40,503 --> 00:07:43,506
So, Cleo, I hear
your parole hearing
didn't go so well.
172
00:07:43,550 --> 00:07:45,465
No, it did not go so well.
No, it did not.
173
00:07:45,508 --> 00:07:47,771
I understand
you used the defense
174
00:07:47,815 --> 00:07:50,382
that one of your
other personalities did it.
175
00:07:50,426 --> 00:07:54,038
That your crimes
were committed by
176
00:07:54,082 --> 00:07:57,215
Monique Detwoliterfresca.
177
00:07:58,434 --> 00:07:59,827
She's a bad girl
178
00:07:59,870 --> 00:08:02,133
who really likes Fresca.
179
00:08:03,047 --> 00:08:05,528
I don't know why
it didn't work.
180
00:08:05,572 --> 00:08:08,531
I'll tell you why,
'cause you're full of it.
181
00:08:08,575 --> 00:08:10,751
I see this all the time.
People want to get
out of crimes.
182
00:08:10,794 --> 00:08:12,361
People want attention.
183
00:08:12,404 --> 00:08:13,754
There's a patient
in my group right now who
184
00:08:13,797 --> 00:08:15,538
says he's the Devil.
185
00:08:15,582 --> 00:08:16,974
I don't know, Charlie.
186
00:08:17,018 --> 00:08:18,889
Any guy who says
he's the Devil,
187
00:08:18,933 --> 00:08:20,543
you gotta take
that seriously.
188
00:08:20,587 --> 00:08:23,546
Because one of those guys
that says he's the guy,
189
00:08:23,590 --> 00:08:26,506
is "the guy."
190
00:08:26,549 --> 00:08:28,464
But he's not "the guy,"
but one of my other patients
191
00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:30,553
thinks he's "the guy"
and sold him his soul.
192
00:08:30,597 --> 00:08:33,382
Oh, he's doomed.
193
00:08:33,425 --> 00:08:35,863
All you can do now,
Charlie, is protect yourself.
194
00:08:35,906 --> 00:08:38,518
First thing you gotta do
is say his name backwards.
195
00:08:38,561 --> 00:08:40,563
It's Bob.
196
00:08:40,607 --> 00:08:42,434
So, let me see...
197
00:08:42,478 --> 00:08:43,958
Bob.
198
00:08:45,350 --> 00:08:47,831
Oh, damn,
the Devil's so tricky.
199
00:08:47,875 --> 00:08:51,182
He made it so you can
never say his name backwards.
200
00:08:51,226 --> 00:08:54,446
Y'all done talking?
201
00:08:54,490 --> 00:08:57,406
Y'all done playing around?
202
00:08:57,449 --> 00:09:00,540
'Cause there ain't no way
in hell that Charlie's
patient is the Devil.
203
00:09:00,583 --> 00:09:02,672
Any rational human being
knows that.
204
00:09:02,716 --> 00:09:04,544
Exactly.
Everyone listen to Wayne.
205
00:09:04,587 --> 00:09:07,764
The Devil's right here
in Cell Block D.
206
00:09:07,808 --> 00:09:10,201
Okay, no one
listen to Wayne.
207
00:09:10,245 --> 00:09:12,595
This dude is Satan.
208
00:09:12,639 --> 00:09:14,466
When you meet him,
oh-oh, you'll know.
209
00:09:14,510 --> 00:09:17,992
You know, if your friend Bob
took a trip to Cell Block D,
210
00:09:18,035 --> 00:09:20,429
he wouldn't dare call
himself the Devil anymore.
211
00:09:20,472 --> 00:09:23,388
Wayne, there is no Devil.
212
00:09:23,432 --> 00:09:24,781
But you know what?
213
00:09:24,825 --> 00:09:26,696
Maybe if Bob met somebody
with a similar delusion,
214
00:09:26,740 --> 00:09:28,611
it might jar him back
to reality.
215
00:09:28,655 --> 00:09:30,482
Just make sure,
when you go down
to Cell Block D,
216
00:09:30,526 --> 00:09:32,441
you say the Dark Lord's name
backwards.
217
00:09:32,484 --> 00:09:33,834
And his name is?
218
00:09:33,877 --> 00:09:35,444
Otto.
219
00:09:36,532 --> 00:09:38,621
Of course it is.
220
00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:42,190
Sam:
So, change of plans, Mom.
221
00:09:42,233 --> 00:09:44,975
I can only hang out with you
till 7:00 on Halloween.
222
00:09:45,019 --> 00:09:47,282
What? We had a deal.
223
00:09:47,325 --> 00:09:49,632
You promised me you'd
stay until 9:00.
224
00:09:49,676 --> 00:09:51,199
But Stacey's rich.
225
00:09:51,242 --> 00:09:52,809
Okay, that buys
you an hour.
226
00:09:54,550 --> 00:09:57,292
8:00,
but bring me home some
rich people cake.
227
00:09:57,335 --> 00:09:59,642
And if the soap is good,
take some of that, too.
228
00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:02,950
Fine, I'll stay
till 8:00.
229
00:10:02,993 --> 00:10:05,039
8:00.
230
00:10:05,082 --> 00:10:06,910
Hello.
231
00:10:06,954 --> 00:10:08,564
Well, hello.
232
00:10:08,608 --> 00:10:11,480
I'm Jeff.
I just moved in next door.
I wanted to say hi.
233
00:10:11,523 --> 00:10:13,830
Hi, I'm Jennifer.
234
00:10:13,874 --> 00:10:15,658
This is my daughter Sam.
235
00:10:15,702 --> 00:10:18,487
You and your wife
got a great place.
I love that house.
236
00:10:18,530 --> 00:10:19,531
Divorced.
237
00:10:19,575 --> 00:10:21,621
Oh, great.
Me, too. Come in.
238
00:10:21,664 --> 00:10:24,101
Listen, why don't you
239
00:10:24,145 --> 00:10:25,755
come here for Halloween?
240
00:10:25,799 --> 00:10:28,628
I can give you
all the local gossip
over my witch's brew.
241
00:10:28,671 --> 00:10:31,674
It's just juice
with a lot of vodka.
242
00:10:31,718 --> 00:10:34,721
I'll be by myself
because Sam's going
to a party early.
243
00:10:34,764 --> 00:10:35,939
Right, Sam?
244
00:10:35,983 --> 00:10:37,680
I am. At 7:00.
245
00:10:37,724 --> 00:10:39,334
You can go at 6:00
if you want.
246
00:10:41,031 --> 00:10:42,642
So what do you say?
247
00:10:42,685 --> 00:10:44,556
I would love to,
but I need to ask Quinn.
248
00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:46,689
We plan to spend
Halloween together.
249
00:10:46,733 --> 00:10:49,692
Quinn, drop the box,
come meet the neighbors.
250
00:10:49,736 --> 00:10:52,086
He just got back
from class.
251
00:10:52,129 --> 00:10:53,957
Hey, cool skeleton.
252
00:10:54,001 --> 00:10:56,525
Yeah, we found it
in a shallow grave
253
00:10:56,568 --> 00:10:59,136
in your backyard before
you guys moved in.
254
00:10:59,180 --> 00:11:01,530
Is it okay if
Quinn comes, too?
255
00:11:01,573 --> 00:11:03,619
Totally.
Right, Mom?
256
00:11:03,663 --> 00:11:04,794
Of course.
257
00:11:04,838 --> 00:11:06,448
I mean, what about
your party?
258
00:11:06,491 --> 00:11:08,058
Oh, that party's
not important.
259
00:11:08,102 --> 00:11:10,757
I really want to spend
Halloween with you.
260
00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:12,367
What a nice thing
to say to your mother.
261
00:11:12,410 --> 00:11:14,456
She wasn't talking to me.
262
00:11:16,197 --> 00:11:17,633
I know this
seems unusual, Bob,
263
00:11:17,677 --> 00:11:19,722
but seeing people locked up
because of their anger
264
00:11:19,766 --> 00:11:21,593
is part of your therapy.
265
00:11:21,637 --> 00:11:23,770
Hey, can we swing by
death row later on
before we leave?
266
00:11:23,813 --> 00:11:26,555
I want to thank them
for their service.
267
00:11:26,598 --> 00:11:29,210
Why don't you wait
here and I'll bring
you in in a second?
268
00:11:29,253 --> 00:11:30,602
Okay.
269
00:11:40,830 --> 00:11:42,266
Hello.
270
00:11:42,310 --> 00:11:46,009
Who dares
to stand before me?
271
00:11:46,053 --> 00:11:47,707
My name
is Charlie Goodson.
272
00:11:47,750 --> 00:11:49,099
I run a therapy group
in this prison.
273
00:11:49,143 --> 00:11:51,188
State your purpose.
274
00:11:51,232 --> 00:11:54,757
But know full well
that all who doubt my
supreme power
275
00:11:54,801 --> 00:11:59,501
shall burn in the lake
of fire for all of eternity.
276
00:11:59,544 --> 00:12:02,547
Good to know.
277
00:12:02,591 --> 00:12:04,724
Anyhoo,
278
00:12:04,767 --> 00:12:07,248
I brought someone who
I thought might benefit
from meeting you.
279
00:12:07,291 --> 00:12:09,293
Bob.
280
00:12:14,559 --> 00:12:17,911
Uh, Bob, Otto.
Otto, Bob.
281
00:12:22,872 --> 00:12:25,527
Oh, my Lord of Darkness,
282
00:12:25,570 --> 00:12:27,790
I submit to you
my mortal soul.
283
00:12:27,834 --> 00:12:30,401
Rise, my son,
284
00:12:30,445 --> 00:12:34,579
for as my minion,
you shall rule by my side
at the gates of hell.
285
00:12:34,623 --> 00:12:38,540
Really?
286
00:12:38,583 --> 00:12:41,761
That's how
this is going?
287
00:12:41,804 --> 00:12:42,892
And you,
288
00:12:42,936 --> 00:12:45,242
for doubting me,
I curse thee.
289
00:12:45,286 --> 00:12:47,636
You shall now lose
something that you love.
290
00:12:48,855 --> 00:12:51,509
Sorry to get
all formal, I'm working.
291
00:12:57,211 --> 00:12:58,429
What the hell?
292
00:12:58,473 --> 00:12:59,953
How can you do a Google
search of the Bible
293
00:12:59,996 --> 00:13:02,694
and still
come up with porn?
294
00:13:02,738 --> 00:13:04,479
Martin:
Charlie, where are ya?
295
00:13:04,522 --> 00:13:06,611
I'm in here.
296
00:13:06,655 --> 00:13:08,483
Hey, son,
we have to talk.
297
00:13:09,658 --> 00:13:12,748
Ed tells me that you have
the Devil in your group?
298
00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:15,707
No, no, no, no.
I have a guy who thinks
he's the Devil.
299
00:13:15,751 --> 00:13:18,101
So I'm trying to find
some logical evidence here
to prove to him that he's not.
300
00:13:18,145 --> 00:13:21,278
Charlie, there is nothing
in any one of these books
301
00:13:21,322 --> 00:13:23,498
that can disprove
the existence of the Devil.
302
00:13:23,541 --> 00:13:24,934
He's as real as you and me.
303
00:13:24,978 --> 00:13:28,285
So you're saying that
the curse he put
on me is real?
304
00:13:28,329 --> 00:13:29,634
Curse? What curse?
305
00:13:29,678 --> 00:13:30,679
He said I was going
to lose something I love.
306
00:13:30,722 --> 00:13:32,637
Oh, God, I'm a dead man.
307
00:13:32,681 --> 00:13:33,856
Trust me, Dad,
you're safe.
308
00:13:33,900 --> 00:13:35,858
Oh.
309
00:13:35,902 --> 00:13:38,861
Charlie, if there was
ever a time for you to
come back to the Church,
310
00:13:38,905 --> 00:13:40,167
now is that time.
311
00:13:40,210 --> 00:13:42,343
"Put on the whole
armor of God
312
00:13:42,386 --> 00:13:46,303
that ye may
be able to stand against
the schemes of the Devil."
313
00:13:46,347 --> 00:13:48,784
Ephesians 6:11.
314
00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:52,657
Get out of my kitchen.
Los Angeles, 7:45.
315
00:13:52,701 --> 00:13:54,050
Look, son--
316
00:13:54,094 --> 00:13:55,486
I'm not going back
to church, Dad.
317
00:13:55,530 --> 00:13:57,445
Now, I'm just saying,
you are dealing with
the Devil.
318
00:13:57,488 --> 00:13:59,403
I deal with the Devil
once a year.
319
00:13:59,447 --> 00:14:02,363
I hand him his
Father's Day card
and then I walk out.
320
00:14:06,367 --> 00:14:09,326
Lacey, for the last time,
321
00:14:09,370 --> 00:14:11,154
please get back in your seat
and leave Nolan alone.
322
00:14:11,198 --> 00:14:14,941
But this is the only time
I get to see him.
323
00:14:14,984 --> 00:14:18,466
He won't let me
into his house and he
won't answer my calls.
324
00:14:18,509 --> 00:14:21,686
Because you're under
the control of the Devil.
325
00:14:21,730 --> 00:14:25,386
Where is Bob?
Did he go down to Georgia?
326
00:14:25,429 --> 00:14:27,779
No, he took the night off
for Halloween.
327
00:14:27,823 --> 00:14:30,478
To make a few extra bucks,
he tries to win costume contests
328
00:14:30,521 --> 00:14:32,523
in "winged form."
329
00:14:32,567 --> 00:14:35,483
But you have to do
something about this.
330
00:14:35,526 --> 00:14:37,789
I don't want
to lose my soul.
331
00:14:37,833 --> 00:14:39,922
You know who else
lost their soul?
332
00:14:39,966 --> 00:14:43,447
Usher, Usher,
Usher, Usher.
333
00:14:43,491 --> 00:14:45,536
Nolan, it's meaningless.
334
00:14:45,580 --> 00:14:48,452
The guy even cursed me.
He said that I would lose
something I love.
335
00:14:48,496 --> 00:14:51,673
Like the way the world lost
Usher when he lost his soul?
336
00:14:51,716 --> 00:14:54,458
Everything isn't about Usher!
337
00:14:54,502 --> 00:14:56,983
Okay, let me try
one more time.
338
00:14:57,026 --> 00:14:58,941
Lacey, honey,
339
00:14:58,985 --> 00:15:00,769
Nolan's car
has cloth seats.
340
00:15:00,812 --> 00:15:02,727
I don't care.
341
00:15:02,771 --> 00:15:06,296
Well, there's nothing
more I can do.
342
00:15:06,340 --> 00:15:09,256
Lacey, just try one more
time to explain to us
343
00:15:09,299 --> 00:15:10,910
why you're so in love
with Nolan.
344
00:15:10,953 --> 00:15:13,651
I think it's
because of his
345
00:15:13,695 --> 00:15:15,697
stained T-shirt.
346
00:15:15,740 --> 00:15:18,569
Or maybe it's the way
he cuts his own hair
347
00:15:18,613 --> 00:15:22,095
that makes me want his
Cheeto-powdered fingers
all over me.
348
00:15:22,138 --> 00:15:25,446
Get away from me,
you succubus.
349
00:15:25,489 --> 00:15:26,403
Lacey:
No.
350
00:15:26,447 --> 00:15:27,622
- Get her off me.
- No.
351
00:15:27,665 --> 00:15:28,928
- Get her off me.
- No, no, no.
352
00:15:28,971 --> 00:15:30,190
All right, all right,
come on, come on, come on.
353
00:15:30,233 --> 00:15:33,280
- No! No! No!
- Come on, come on, come on.
354
00:15:33,323 --> 00:15:34,977
You got her, come on,
come on.
355
00:15:36,500 --> 00:15:39,112
All right, all right,
all right. Everybody
just chill out.
356
00:15:39,155 --> 00:15:41,462
Bob is not the Devil.
Nolan's not going
to lose his soul.
357
00:15:41,505 --> 00:15:42,854
We all just need to stop.
358
00:15:42,898 --> 00:15:46,119
I can't,
I want him.
359
00:15:46,162 --> 00:15:47,555
Nolan, you got
a head start.
Take it.
360
00:15:47,598 --> 00:15:50,950
I'm watching your ass.
It's adorable.
361
00:15:50,993 --> 00:15:52,560
Don't look at my ass!
362
00:15:52,603 --> 00:15:55,476
You know
I'm gonna catch him,
Charlie, right?
363
00:15:55,519 --> 00:15:58,435
He runs like a girl,
and I love that.
364
00:16:00,046 --> 00:16:02,700
I hope you're right
about Bob not being
the Devil.
365
00:16:05,007 --> 00:16:07,575
Charlie, Charlie.
366
00:16:07,618 --> 00:16:11,709
Couple of Puerto Rican
chicks in here that are
just dying to meet you.
367
00:16:11,753 --> 00:16:15,235
If you're waiting for me
to sing something back,
368
00:16:15,278 --> 00:16:17,889
not gonna happen.
369
00:16:17,933 --> 00:16:20,892
- He's on his way, okay.
- Awesome.
370
00:16:20,936 --> 00:16:22,329
Charlie,
371
00:16:22,372 --> 00:16:24,113
this is Maria
372
00:16:24,157 --> 00:16:25,767
and Carlita.
373
00:16:25,810 --> 00:16:27,725
Hi, I'm Charlie.
374
00:16:27,769 --> 00:16:29,118
Sean, why don't you make
us all a quick drink
375
00:16:29,162 --> 00:16:30,511
and I'll go upstairs
and change.
376
00:16:30,554 --> 00:16:33,601
I've never been out with
a psychologist before.
377
00:16:33,644 --> 00:16:35,690
I hope you're not
gonna analyze me.
378
00:16:35,733 --> 00:16:37,126
Too late.
379
00:16:37,170 --> 00:16:38,954
Anybody who says that
is intelligent,
380
00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:41,565
sexy, confident
with their body,
381
00:16:41,609 --> 00:16:43,524
and attracted to guys
named Charlie.
382
00:16:43,567 --> 00:16:45,091
You're cute.
383
00:16:45,134 --> 00:16:47,528
I know, I'm Charlie.
384
00:16:47,571 --> 00:16:49,530
Oh, my God,
385
00:16:49,573 --> 00:16:51,271
I am so sorry.
386
00:16:51,314 --> 00:16:53,490
Holy crap,
where the hell did
that come from?
387
00:16:53,534 --> 00:16:54,665
From your head.
388
00:16:54,709 --> 00:16:56,493
What?
389
00:16:56,537 --> 00:16:57,755
Dude,
390
00:16:57,799 --> 00:17:00,584
something is wrong
with your hair.
391
00:17:00,628 --> 00:17:02,543
Oh, my God,
392
00:17:02,586 --> 00:17:05,024
Bob the Devil said
I would lose something
I love.
393
00:17:05,067 --> 00:17:08,375
Relax, it's fine, okay?
Everything is okay.
394
00:17:08,418 --> 00:17:11,291
Listen, ladies,
the bald guy is gonna
go upstairs and grab a hat,
395
00:17:11,334 --> 00:17:12,596
and then we'll get going.
396
00:17:16,078 --> 00:17:19,168
Oh, no, you are too young
to dress like that.
397
00:17:19,212 --> 00:17:20,822
Yeah, and you're too old.
398
00:17:20,865 --> 00:17:24,217
Come on, Sam,
I think I have a shot
with this guy.
399
00:17:24,260 --> 00:17:26,958
Yeah, well,
I actually think I have
a shot with his son.
400
00:17:27,002 --> 00:17:28,090
A shot to do what?
401
00:17:28,134 --> 00:17:30,875
A lot less than you.
402
00:17:30,919 --> 00:17:32,268
[ doorbell rings ]
403
00:17:32,312 --> 00:17:34,357
Oh, it's them.
404
00:17:34,401 --> 00:17:35,924
Okay, sweetheart,
405
00:17:35,967 --> 00:17:37,491
you look beautiful.
406
00:17:37,534 --> 00:17:40,015
But you need to remember,
if it doesn't work out for you,
407
00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:42,061
don't ruin Mommy's night.
408
00:17:46,413 --> 00:17:47,936
Tennis, anyone?
409
00:17:47,979 --> 00:17:50,286
Oh, I love
your outfits.
410
00:17:50,330 --> 00:17:52,854
1970s tennis players,
hilarious.
411
00:17:52,897 --> 00:17:54,986
I can't believe people
actually dressed like that.
412
00:17:55,030 --> 00:17:56,336
Yeah, I know, right?
413
00:17:56,379 --> 00:17:58,164
We wore these at
the parade this summer.
414
00:17:58,207 --> 00:18:00,122
- The parade?
- Yeah, the Gay Pride Parade.
415
00:18:00,166 --> 00:18:01,776
It was insane this year.
416
00:18:01,819 --> 00:18:03,952
You hear that, Mom?
417
00:18:03,995 --> 00:18:05,345
They went to
the Gay Pride Parade.
418
00:18:05,388 --> 00:18:07,956
Oh, good for you
for being so supportive.
419
00:18:07,999 --> 00:18:09,827
Do you have a cousin
or a nephew
420
00:18:09,871 --> 00:18:11,133
or someone
who's gay-- oh!
421
00:18:11,177 --> 00:18:13,004
You're gay.
422
00:18:13,048 --> 00:18:16,138
You're gay.
Okay.
423
00:18:16,182 --> 00:18:17,966
I love your outfit.
424
00:18:18,009 --> 00:18:20,838
Thanks,
I'm a stupid nurse.
425
00:18:22,971 --> 00:18:25,626
Hey, don't worry
about a thing.
You'll look great bald.
426
00:18:25,669 --> 00:18:29,195
Or maybe you'll win
the lottery and you can
still get a woman.
427
00:18:29,238 --> 00:18:31,980
Dad, I am
freaking out here.
428
00:18:32,023 --> 00:18:34,939
I know that you are,
and that's why you're going
to mass with me this morning.
429
00:18:34,983 --> 00:18:38,029
Because as soon as you
get your feet set back on
the path of righteousness,
430
00:18:38,073 --> 00:18:40,815
the power of the Devil
over you will be greatly
diminished.
431
00:18:40,858 --> 00:18:42,817
Yeah, maybe, I just
432
00:18:42,860 --> 00:18:44,819
feel like such an idiot.
433
00:18:44,862 --> 00:18:47,038
I've rebelled against this
for the last 30 years.
434
00:18:47,082 --> 00:18:48,692
Why did it have
to be my hair?
435
00:18:48,736 --> 00:18:50,955
Why couldn't he have
put a plague upon my family
436
00:18:50,999 --> 00:18:53,697
or taken my oxen
or something?
437
00:18:53,741 --> 00:18:55,656
Hey, guys.
438
00:18:55,699 --> 00:18:57,136
What are you both
so dressed up for?
439
00:18:57,179 --> 00:18:58,876
We're just leaving
for the 10:00 mass.
440
00:18:58,920 --> 00:19:02,141
You're going to church?
That actually worked?
441
00:19:03,446 --> 00:19:06,145
What worked?
442
00:19:06,188 --> 00:19:07,972
God's will.
443
00:19:08,016 --> 00:19:09,583
Now, come on,
I don't want to get
a crappy pew.
444
00:19:09,626 --> 00:19:11,367
No, no, no,
hold on, hold on.
That's not what worked.
445
00:19:11,411 --> 00:19:12,542
Something else worked.
What the hell worked?
446
00:19:12,586 --> 00:19:15,545
The hair thing.
It was a trick.
447
00:19:15,589 --> 00:19:17,025
A trick?
448
00:19:17,068 --> 00:19:18,896
Charlie, your hair
is fine.
449
00:19:18,940 --> 00:19:22,944
This guy comes to me
with this crazy plan
to get you back into church,
450
00:19:22,987 --> 00:19:25,947
so I had Carlita
pretend to pull some
hair out of your head.
451
00:19:25,990 --> 00:19:28,210
You got to admit,
she was pretty convincing.
452
00:19:28,254 --> 00:19:31,735
Oh, yeah,
she's gonna kill
in soft-core porn.
453
00:19:31,779 --> 00:19:33,215
Why would you
do that to me?
454
00:19:33,259 --> 00:19:34,956
It was Halloween.
455
00:19:34,999 --> 00:19:37,741
How could I believe you
were a good Catholic boy
456
00:19:37,785 --> 00:19:40,527
who was gonna help me get
my son back to the Church?
457
00:19:40,570 --> 00:19:43,660
It was Halloween.
458
00:19:43,704 --> 00:19:46,054
Well, you know what?
You're both idiots.
459
00:19:46,097 --> 00:19:48,665
You, you're lucky
I still got laid last night.
460
00:19:48,709 --> 00:19:52,365
And you,
you had to suffer
the indignity of...
461
00:19:52,408 --> 00:19:54,018
hearing about
your son getting
laid last night.
462
00:19:56,282 --> 00:19:57,544
Well, as everyone can see,
463
00:19:57,587 --> 00:19:59,023
Bob is back with us today.
464
00:19:59,067 --> 00:20:00,460
Hey, guys.
465
00:20:00,503 --> 00:20:02,026
Would you please
466
00:20:02,070 --> 00:20:04,812
stop it with the whole
regular guy-Devil thing?
467
00:20:04,855 --> 00:20:06,422
The Devil would never say,
"Hey, guys."
468
00:20:06,466 --> 00:20:08,816
If anything, he would say,
"Greetings, mortals."
469
00:20:08,859 --> 00:20:11,079
I don't even think
he would say that.
470
00:20:11,122 --> 00:20:13,995
Bob talks like a regular guy
because that's all he is.
471
00:20:14,038 --> 00:20:15,388
Bob is not the Devil.
472
00:20:15,431 --> 00:20:17,999
What are you talking about?
Of course I am.
473
00:20:18,042 --> 00:20:19,609
You're not.
474
00:20:19,653 --> 00:20:22,656
Even I fell for it,
thanks to that seed
of superstition
475
00:20:22,699 --> 00:20:25,267
my father planted
in me during my Catholic
upbringing.
476
00:20:25,311 --> 00:20:27,487
I even went to church
and talked to a priest.
477
00:20:27,530 --> 00:20:30,838
Those guys crack me up.
478
00:20:30,881 --> 00:20:32,231
Even had this--
479
00:20:32,274 --> 00:20:35,190
this ancient book
of old Latin exorcism prayers.
480
00:20:35,234 --> 00:20:37,845
I got to tell you,
those books never
made sense to me.
481
00:20:37,888 --> 00:20:39,368
I never learned Latin.
482
00:20:39,412 --> 00:20:43,198
A little Spanish, you know,
just for the Inquisition.
483
00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:46,070
I even said
one of those prayers, Bob.
484
00:20:47,985 --> 00:20:50,466
And that is how I know
485
00:20:50,510 --> 00:20:53,164
that you are not
the Devil.
486
00:20:53,208 --> 00:20:54,688
Because if you were,
487
00:20:54,731 --> 00:20:56,559
your hair would
be falling out.
488
00:20:56,603 --> 00:20:59,780
and plainly--
oh, my God,
489
00:20:59,823 --> 00:21:02,652
your hair is falling out.
490
00:21:02,696 --> 00:21:05,786
All hail, Baldy the Devil!
491
00:21:05,829 --> 00:21:07,353
Why is this happening?
492
00:21:07,396 --> 00:21:08,963
I-- I--
I'm not the Devil.
493
00:21:09,006 --> 00:21:11,444
I was just pretending to get
a little respect at Wendy's.
494
00:21:11,487 --> 00:21:13,968
You don't understand
the politics of that place.
495
00:21:15,186 --> 00:21:17,058
Thank you.
496
00:21:17,101 --> 00:21:19,408
And this is not your hair.
497
00:21:19,452 --> 00:21:22,019
I gave my neighbor
Sean a haircut.
498
00:21:22,063 --> 00:21:25,196
He owed me one, and plus,
he's a heavy sleeper.
499
00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:27,547
So long, Bob.
500
00:21:27,590 --> 00:21:29,462
Fine.
501
00:21:29,505 --> 00:21:31,507
[ deep voice ]
Good-bye, Satan.
502
00:21:33,161 --> 00:21:34,684
Wait, this is amazing.
503
00:21:34,728 --> 00:21:36,207
I didn't sell my soul,
504
00:21:36,251 --> 00:21:38,558
which means
Lacey really loves me.
505
00:21:38,601 --> 00:21:42,170
Hey, sorry I'm late.
506
00:21:42,213 --> 00:21:45,129
I just slept for 18 hours.
I bet my friend
507
00:21:45,173 --> 00:21:47,262
that I could do ecstasy
five days in a row
508
00:21:47,306 --> 00:21:48,785
and it wouldn't
affect my life
509
00:21:48,829 --> 00:21:50,613
and I totally
won the bet.
510
00:21:50,657 --> 00:21:53,355
Ecstasy?
511
00:21:53,399 --> 00:21:55,444
You said you were
in love with me.
512
00:21:55,488 --> 00:21:58,534
You said my ass
was adorable.
513
00:21:58,578 --> 00:22:01,494
Wow, I did?
514
00:22:01,537 --> 00:22:04,018
Well, that didn't
affect my life,
515
00:22:04,061 --> 00:22:07,369
so I still won
the 50 bucks.
Yay me.
516
00:22:07,413 --> 00:22:09,589
Charlie,
517
00:22:09,632 --> 00:22:12,156
what the hell?
You couldn't take hair
from the back,
518
00:22:12,200 --> 00:22:13,723
you had to take it
from the top?
519
00:22:15,246 --> 00:22:18,162
It was Halloween.
37964
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