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1
00:00:02,045 --> 00:00:04,743
As a rule, I don't talk
about your insane business
ideas before breakfast.
2
00:00:04,787 --> 00:00:07,050
Fine, we'll eat
breakfast and then
I'll pitch it to you.
3
00:00:07,094 --> 00:00:09,618
Yeah, but then
technically it'll be
before breakfast tomorrow.
4
00:00:09,661 --> 00:00:12,142
I don't really see
a way out of this.
5
00:00:12,186 --> 00:00:16,059
I'm telling you,
Charlie, no one's ever done
a food truck like this.
6
00:00:16,103 --> 00:00:19,062
All we're gonna serve
is turkey, cranberry sauce,
7
00:00:19,106 --> 00:00:21,064
mashed potatoes
and stuffing.
8
00:00:21,108 --> 00:00:23,588
It's Thanksgiving
all year long.
9
00:00:23,632 --> 00:00:25,938
That's great.
You should also hire
some family members
10
00:00:25,982 --> 00:00:28,811
to sit around the truck
and argue about things that
happened 20 years ago.
11
00:00:28,854 --> 00:00:30,421
And I have a gimmick.
12
00:00:30,465 --> 00:00:32,423
Whatever you don't finish,
you give back to us
13
00:00:32,467 --> 00:00:35,818
and we serve it to you
for free the next day
as leftovers.
14
00:00:35,861 --> 00:00:38,038
If you can find the truck.
15
00:00:38,081 --> 00:00:40,910
If you can find the truck.
16
00:00:40,953 --> 00:00:43,521
Hey, I'm going down
to get a paper.
17
00:00:43,565 --> 00:00:45,393
I love the obituaries
in Los Angeles.
18
00:00:45,436 --> 00:00:46,742
Everybody's famous here.
19
00:00:46,785 --> 00:00:49,092
Last week a sound technician
from "Forrest Gump"
20
00:00:49,136 --> 00:00:50,485
dropped dead on the crapper.
21
00:00:50,528 --> 00:00:53,140
Yup, nothing
but glitz and glamour.
22
00:00:53,183 --> 00:00:54,663
I'll be back in five.
23
00:00:54,706 --> 00:00:56,360
Two eggs over easy,
bacon crispy.
24
00:00:56,404 --> 00:00:59,059
You know how I like it.
Chop, chop.
25
00:01:01,104 --> 00:01:04,542
Do you think rat poison would
change the flavor of eggs?
26
00:01:04,586 --> 00:01:06,109
Why are you
so impatient with him?
27
00:01:06,153 --> 00:01:08,111
He's been here three days.
28
00:01:08,155 --> 00:01:10,026
Well, he's scared.
There was a robbery
29
00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:12,594
down the block
from his complex.
He doesn't want to be alone.
30
00:01:12,637 --> 00:01:14,248
Yeah, there's a huge
market out there right now
31
00:01:14,291 --> 00:01:17,207
for pill organizers
and pit-stained undershirts.
32
00:01:17,251 --> 00:01:19,122
I've got to get him
out of here. I was thinking
about buying him a gun.
33
00:01:19,166 --> 00:01:21,820
Oh, no, Charlie.
One out of four
shooting victims
34
00:01:21,864 --> 00:01:23,648
gets shot by their
own weapon.
35
00:01:23,692 --> 00:01:26,173
Oh, well, then I'll
get three more just to be
on the safe side.
36
00:01:29,219 --> 00:01:32,396
So, Nolan, at the last
session we talked about how
you don't socialize enough.
37
00:01:32,440 --> 00:01:33,832
That's crazy.
38
00:01:33,876 --> 00:01:35,965
You mean socialize to
go out and meet people?
39
00:01:36,008 --> 00:01:39,055
- Exactly.
- Oh, yeah, I don't do that.
40
00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:41,231
Would somebody mind
taking Nolan out tonight?
41
00:01:41,275 --> 00:01:43,973
Ooh, ooh, ooh!
Dibs on not doing it.
42
00:01:44,016 --> 00:01:45,888
Okay, I've got
to respect dibs.
43
00:01:45,931 --> 00:01:47,933
Patrick, you're up.
44
00:01:47,977 --> 00:01:51,067
I think it'll help to have
somebody else ease Nolan
into a social situation.
45
00:01:51,111 --> 00:01:53,417
Fine, but only
for like an hour.
46
00:01:53,461 --> 00:01:56,812
I have a horrible person
staying in my home who
I do not trust.
47
00:01:56,855 --> 00:01:58,118
You don't trust me?
48
00:01:58,161 --> 00:02:00,337
You're the one that told
me I won the lottery.
49
00:02:00,381 --> 00:02:03,775
Do you think I like staying
at the Courtyard Fairyott?
50
00:02:05,864 --> 00:02:07,562
Golly, if you two
kids can't make it,
51
00:02:07,605 --> 00:02:09,303
I don't know what chance
there is for the rest of us.
52
00:02:10,782 --> 00:02:14,395
It's not me.
Every night I can't sleep
53
00:02:14,438 --> 00:02:17,137
because I'm listening to
this guy get ready for bed.
54
00:02:17,180 --> 00:02:19,835
Who in the hell
dries his hair at night?
55
00:02:19,878 --> 00:02:23,578
People with,
you know, hair.
56
00:02:25,014 --> 00:02:28,191
I'd have hair if I used
Rogaine like he does.
57
00:02:28,235 --> 00:02:30,193
[ laughing ]
58
00:02:30,237 --> 00:02:32,543
Rogaine?
I don't--
59
00:02:32,587 --> 00:02:35,111
why would--
you stay out of
my medicine cabinet.
60
00:02:36,286 --> 00:02:38,984
I just needed to borrow
your deodorant.
61
00:02:39,028 --> 00:02:41,378
Oh, my God.
62
00:02:41,422 --> 00:02:44,990
You see why
I'm afraid to leave him
alone in my house?
63
00:02:45,034 --> 00:02:46,470
You've got nothing
to worry about.
64
00:02:46,514 --> 00:02:48,211
I already found
your diary.
65
00:02:48,255 --> 00:02:51,127
- What?
- Oh, good, he's got
a diary.
66
00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:53,651
Okay, guys,
we're out of time.
67
00:02:53,695 --> 00:02:55,392
Patrick, treat Ed
like a guest.
68
00:02:55,436 --> 00:02:57,177
Ed, keep his stuff
out of your armpits.
69
00:02:57,220 --> 00:02:59,004
See you all Thursday.
70
00:02:59,048 --> 00:03:01,181
Ed, can I talk to you
for a second?
71
00:03:03,008 --> 00:03:06,403
I'm a little concerned
that you and Patrick are
gonna murder each other.
72
00:03:06,447 --> 00:03:08,188
I hope half
of that happens.
73
00:03:09,711 --> 00:03:11,147
I don't.
74
00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:13,367
I think I might have
a better roommate for you.
75
00:03:13,410 --> 00:03:15,282
How would you feel about
living with my dad?
76
00:03:15,325 --> 00:03:17,980
Well, hell, Charlie,
I barely know the man.
77
00:03:18,023 --> 00:03:19,590
Perfect.
That's one of his
best features.
78
00:03:21,331 --> 00:03:22,941
Lacey, you've got
to help me.
79
00:03:22,985 --> 00:03:25,988
I am too preoccupied
to take Nolan out tonight.
80
00:03:26,031 --> 00:03:29,034
I'm dealing with
this hillbilly ghost
haunting my apartment.
81
00:03:29,078 --> 00:03:31,689
He's just not dead yet.
82
00:03:31,733 --> 00:03:34,257
Yeah, sucks to be you.
Bye.
83
00:03:34,301 --> 00:03:36,825
Wait.
I know you called dibs,
84
00:03:36,868 --> 00:03:39,131
but if you take Nolan
off my hands tonight,
85
00:03:39,175 --> 00:03:40,742
- I'll give you $20.
- [ scoffs ]
86
00:03:40,785 --> 00:03:42,744
I wouldn't do it
for 20 million billion.
87
00:03:42,787 --> 00:03:46,269
How about 40 and I don't tell
Charlie you dented his car?
88
00:03:46,313 --> 00:03:48,967
- You did that!
- I'm that desperate.
89
00:03:56,323 --> 00:03:59,761
Sorry I took so long.
The cafeteria was packed.
90
00:03:59,804 --> 00:04:01,328
When did this other
couple get here?
91
00:04:01,371 --> 00:04:03,765
It's the same couple.
They're still going at it.
92
00:04:03,808 --> 00:04:05,288
[ alarm beeps ]
93
00:04:05,332 --> 00:04:07,421
And she just had
another orgasm.
94
00:04:07,464 --> 00:04:10,424
Weird.
She's barely moving.
95
00:04:10,467 --> 00:04:12,295
How many is that?
Nine?
96
00:04:12,339 --> 00:04:13,862
Try 15.
97
00:04:13,905 --> 00:04:16,343
Mm, I'd like to.
98
00:04:16,386 --> 00:04:19,084
Should we stop them?
It's getting late.
99
00:04:19,128 --> 00:04:22,000
We can't stop them.
We're conducting
professional research.
100
00:04:22,044 --> 00:04:25,308
What we can do is turn
it into a drinking game.
101
00:04:25,352 --> 00:04:28,224
Good idea.
102
00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:31,662
Every time she has
a confirmed orgasm,
103
00:04:31,706 --> 00:04:33,621
we take a shot.
104
00:04:35,840 --> 00:04:38,103
- [ alarm beeps ]
- And she's off.
105
00:04:40,367 --> 00:04:42,847
I hope you didn't make
any plans tonight.
106
00:04:42,891 --> 00:04:45,676
No, I'm happy to say
that I'll be going home
to an empty house.
107
00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:48,026
I finally got my dad
to go back to his place.
108
00:04:48,070 --> 00:04:49,419
I thought he was afraid
to go back.
109
00:04:49,463 --> 00:04:52,074
He was, but then I convinced
Ed to move in with him.
110
00:04:52,117 --> 00:04:54,076
- [ alarm beeps ]
- Wow.
111
00:04:54,119 --> 00:04:56,687
I know.
112
00:04:58,385 --> 00:05:00,387
Wait, how'd you do that?
They barely know each other.
113
00:05:00,430 --> 00:05:02,606
Well, I told my dad
that he and Ed had
a lot in common.
114
00:05:02,650 --> 00:05:04,434
- That they're
both, you know--
- Old?
115
00:05:04,478 --> 00:05:05,870
- Yeah, and--
- Horrible people?
116
00:05:05,914 --> 00:05:07,916
Exactly.
117
00:05:07,959 --> 00:05:10,222
[ alarm beeps ]
118
00:05:12,660 --> 00:05:14,226
What's his secret?
119
00:05:14,270 --> 00:05:16,403
I think it's all her.
120
00:05:16,446 --> 00:05:18,492
Hitting a pothole
would get this woman off.
121
00:05:18,535 --> 00:05:21,538
Don't you realize that
having one of your patients
122
00:05:21,582 --> 00:05:23,453
move in with your dad
is a recipe for disaster?
123
00:05:23,497 --> 00:05:26,326
No, but what
I did realize...
124
00:05:27,718 --> 00:05:29,851
the beeping is coming
from the printer.
125
00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:33,811
That woman's not having
an orgasm.
126
00:05:33,855 --> 00:05:35,726
She's out of paper.
127
00:05:37,641 --> 00:05:40,078
All I'm saying
is that she may be
128
00:05:40,122 --> 00:05:42,951
this country's greatest
living American.
129
00:05:42,994 --> 00:05:45,780
[ sighs ]
All right, Ed,
I'll bite.
130
00:05:45,823 --> 00:05:47,999
How is Dolly Parton
131
00:05:48,043 --> 00:05:50,480
our county's greatest
living American?
132
00:05:50,524 --> 00:05:53,396
- Two reasons.
- Oh, come on.
133
00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:55,442
No, no, it's not
what you think.
134
00:05:55,485 --> 00:05:57,487
Her songwriting abilities
135
00:05:57,531 --> 00:06:00,708
and her boobs.
136
00:06:00,751 --> 00:06:02,753
Oh, please.
137
00:06:03,798 --> 00:06:05,365
- [ tires squeal ]
- Oh, no!
138
00:06:10,718 --> 00:06:13,460
I hope to God
that was the same woman.
139
00:06:15,070 --> 00:06:17,072
[ theme music playing ]
140
00:06:20,771 --> 00:06:23,426
She just came out of nowhere
right in front of the car.
141
00:06:23,470 --> 00:06:25,210
Don't worry
about the woman.
142
00:06:25,254 --> 00:06:27,212
The hospital said
she'd be fine.
143
00:06:27,256 --> 00:06:29,476
What you ought to worry
about is the lawsuit
144
00:06:29,519 --> 00:06:33,001
because she's gonna sue you
for every last penny you've got.
145
00:06:33,044 --> 00:06:34,219
Why should I be
worried about that?
146
00:06:34,263 --> 00:06:35,786
That's why I have
insurance.
147
00:06:35,830 --> 00:06:37,005
Insurance?
[ laughs ]
148
00:06:37,048 --> 00:06:39,399
That's good.
You got an umbrella?
149
00:06:39,442 --> 00:06:41,401
Because there's
a tsunami coming
150
00:06:41,444 --> 00:06:45,013
and it speaks Jew
and it knows the law.
151
00:06:45,056 --> 00:06:48,233
Now I'm really terrified.
152
00:06:48,277 --> 00:06:50,018
What, that they're gonna
take all your money?
153
00:06:50,061 --> 00:06:52,847
No, that I'm living
with you.
154
00:06:52,890 --> 00:06:55,197
Look, the woman's
gonna be all right.
155
00:06:55,240 --> 00:06:57,199
But her lawyers
ain't done yet.
156
00:06:57,242 --> 00:06:58,548
If you got
anything saved up,
157
00:06:58,592 --> 00:07:00,507
you better put it in a box
and bury it.
158
00:07:00,550 --> 00:07:02,683
I do have a little
something put aside.
159
00:07:02,726 --> 00:07:05,076
Well, then hide it, man.
160
00:07:05,120 --> 00:07:09,167
Look, a friend of mine did
that when he was being sued.
161
00:07:09,211 --> 00:07:11,387
He passed his money
over to a buddy.
162
00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:13,215
And after
everything blew over,
163
00:07:13,258 --> 00:07:15,217
the guy gave it
all back to him.
164
00:07:15,260 --> 00:07:17,785
Well, almost all.
165
00:07:17,828 --> 00:07:20,048
I kept a few bucks
for a down payment
166
00:07:20,091 --> 00:07:22,354
on a Dodge Dart.
167
00:07:22,398 --> 00:07:24,487
But I can't hide
the money with a friend
168
00:07:24,531 --> 00:07:26,228
because if anyone found out,
then that friend
169
00:07:26,271 --> 00:07:28,230
would be an accessory
to a crime, right?
170
00:07:28,273 --> 00:07:29,971
Mm-hmm.
So what are you gonna do?
171
00:07:30,014 --> 00:07:32,103
I'll give it
to the family.
172
00:07:33,757 --> 00:07:35,280
[ music playing ]
173
00:07:35,324 --> 00:07:36,891
Okay, I was supposed to get
you out of your house.
174
00:07:36,934 --> 00:07:40,416
- You're out of your house.
- This is fun.
175
00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:44,289
I told you not
to talk to me unless
it's something important.
176
00:07:44,333 --> 00:07:47,075
Ugh, crap.
My sister's here.
177
00:07:47,118 --> 00:07:49,251
She's such
an annoying bitch.
178
00:07:49,294 --> 00:07:52,297
Hey, girl, hey.
179
00:07:52,341 --> 00:07:53,908
What up, girl?
180
00:07:55,126 --> 00:07:56,824
Oh, you look
so hot.
181
00:07:56,867 --> 00:07:59,740
Like you've been
throwing up just enough.
182
00:07:59,783 --> 00:08:01,524
Thanks.
183
00:08:01,568 --> 00:08:04,092
I can't wait to talk
to you when I'm more drunk.
184
00:08:04,135 --> 00:08:06,660
What's up with Joe Dirt?
185
00:08:06,703 --> 00:08:10,185
Hey, Sateen.
Remember me?
Nolan from group.
186
00:08:10,228 --> 00:08:13,449
Oh, I don't go
to AA anymore.
I'm cured.
187
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:17,714
Oh, look,
there's someone else.
188
00:08:22,676 --> 00:08:26,767
So, are you and Lacey...
189
00:08:26,810 --> 00:08:27,985
Are we what?
190
00:08:28,029 --> 00:08:30,771
I mean, you know.
Are you guys together?
191
00:08:30,814 --> 00:08:33,556
No, she just went
over there.
192
00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:37,560
[ laughs ]
You're stupid.
193
00:08:37,604 --> 00:08:41,172
Now seriously,
what's up with you
and my sister?
194
00:08:41,216 --> 00:08:43,479
My therapist asked
this guy to take me out
195
00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:46,003
and he sold me to Lacey
for 40 bucks.
196
00:08:46,047 --> 00:08:48,658
So that means
my family owns you.
197
00:08:48,702 --> 00:08:51,443
Which means I can do
whatever I want with you.
198
00:08:51,487 --> 00:08:53,315
I guess, for tonight.
199
00:08:53,358 --> 00:08:56,492
I don't know
what my contract
says after that.
200
00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:58,799
I thought I saw
LeBron James,
201
00:08:58,842 --> 00:09:00,975
but it was just this
other guy I already dated
202
00:09:01,018 --> 00:09:04,544
because I thought
he was LeBron James.
203
00:09:04,587 --> 00:09:06,589
Hey, your sister's
pretty cool.
204
00:09:06,633 --> 00:09:08,330
You're stupid.
205
00:09:08,373 --> 00:09:10,071
She said the same thing.
206
00:09:10,114 --> 00:09:12,682
Sisters.
207
00:09:16,730 --> 00:09:18,645
What do you think Grandpa
wants to talk to us about?
208
00:09:18,688 --> 00:09:21,561
Maybe he dyed his hair
and we're gonna have to
tell him it looks good.
209
00:09:21,604 --> 00:09:24,389
Well, I'm gonna be honest,
unless it does look good,
210
00:09:24,433 --> 00:09:26,348
in which case I'll lie.
211
00:09:26,391 --> 00:09:28,916
Okay, maybe he's coming
over to tell us he's gay.
212
00:09:28,959 --> 00:09:30,831
Lori Miller's grandpa
came out last week
213
00:09:30,874 --> 00:09:32,572
and it was really
exciting for everybody.
214
00:09:33,964 --> 00:09:36,619
Except for
Lori Miller's grandma.
215
00:09:36,663 --> 00:09:38,578
Hello, everybody.
216
00:09:38,621 --> 00:09:40,188
Jen: Hi, Martin. How's it going?
217
00:09:40,231 --> 00:09:42,320
- Great.
- How are things working
out with you and Ed?
218
00:09:42,364 --> 00:09:44,018
Ed?
Ed's a big sweetheart.
219
00:09:44,061 --> 00:09:46,760
- Oh, good.
- Sweetheart? I knew it.
220
00:09:48,413 --> 00:09:49,806
What the hell
is she talking about?
221
00:09:49,850 --> 00:09:51,982
It doesn't matter.
We'll never accept you.
222
00:09:52,026 --> 00:09:54,637
So what are we here for?
223
00:09:54,681 --> 00:09:56,465
Well, everybody,
please sit down.
224
00:09:59,773 --> 00:10:01,557
First of all,
I want you all to know
225
00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:03,037
that I love you all
very much.
226
00:10:03,080 --> 00:10:04,821
Come on, suicide.
227
00:10:04,865 --> 00:10:07,041
- And in life...
- Darn it.
228
00:10:07,084 --> 00:10:08,912
...you take care
of the people you love.
229
00:10:08,956 --> 00:10:12,263
Now, I don't want to die
an old man with a bag of money.
230
00:10:12,307 --> 00:10:14,048
So I've decided to share
231
00:10:14,091 --> 00:10:16,267
my life savings
with you three.
232
00:10:16,311 --> 00:10:19,009
I have cashier's checks
for each one of you
233
00:10:19,053 --> 00:10:20,881
for $35,000.
234
00:10:20,924 --> 00:10:23,187
- Are you serious?
- There you go.
235
00:10:23,231 --> 00:10:26,103
- Grandpa, thank you.
- You're welcome.
236
00:10:26,147 --> 00:10:28,715
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
$35,000?
237
00:10:28,758 --> 00:10:30,847
- For each of us?
- Mm-hmm.
238
00:10:30,891 --> 00:10:32,849
Where did you get...
239
00:10:32,893 --> 00:10:35,460
three times $35,000?
240
00:10:35,504 --> 00:10:38,072
I put away a little bit
at a time
241
00:10:38,115 --> 00:10:40,117
and it eventually
worked up to be 100--
242
00:10:40,161 --> 00:10:43,338
- And $5,000!
- Yes.
243
00:10:43,381 --> 00:10:45,079
Why have I been supporting
you this whole time
244
00:10:45,122 --> 00:10:46,123
when you're sitting
on this kind of money?
245
00:10:46,167 --> 00:10:48,125
Because you're a good son.
246
00:10:48,169 --> 00:10:51,651
But I was also afraid
if you cut me off, I'd need
something to live on.
247
00:10:51,694 --> 00:10:54,436
So, there you have it.
Now look, don't spend it.
248
00:10:54,479 --> 00:10:57,004
Save it for
a rainy day, all right?
249
00:10:57,047 --> 00:11:00,877
Because you never know
when you or someone you
love might need it back.
250
00:11:00,921 --> 00:11:03,271
I mean, need it.
Why did I say back?
251
00:11:03,314 --> 00:11:06,317
So who'd like to go out
to dinner and celebrate?
252
00:11:06,361 --> 00:11:09,799
Dad, I don't know
what to say.
253
00:11:09,843 --> 00:11:12,715
How about before dinner
we make a toast to you?
254
00:11:12,759 --> 00:11:14,804
Jen, why don't you
help me get a bottle
of wine out of the kitchen?
255
00:11:14,848 --> 00:11:17,024
Sure.
256
00:11:18,939 --> 00:11:21,115
Dad, are you dying?
257
00:11:21,158 --> 00:11:23,204
I'm fit as a fiddle.
258
00:11:23,247 --> 00:11:25,685
Oh, we'll get
the wine anyway.
259
00:11:28,557 --> 00:11:30,646
This is so sweet
of your father.
260
00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:33,693
Sweet, my ass.
The man is up to something.
261
00:11:33,736 --> 00:11:35,259
He's never given me money.
262
00:11:35,303 --> 00:11:37,522
I was always late for preschool
because of my second job.
263
00:11:37,566 --> 00:11:40,134
He's just getting older
and sentimental.
264
00:11:40,177 --> 00:11:43,528
He wants us to put it
in the bank so we have
more security.
265
00:11:43,572 --> 00:11:46,183
Ah, you're probably right.
266
00:11:46,227 --> 00:11:49,752
You know what we should do?
Spend it.
267
00:11:49,796 --> 00:11:52,189
Spend it fast,
spend it hard,
spend it long.
268
00:11:52,233 --> 00:11:53,756
This is my dad
we're talking about.
269
00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:54,975
We need to burn
through this cash
270
00:11:55,018 --> 00:11:57,107
before he changes
his evil little mind.
271
00:11:57,151 --> 00:11:58,761
I'm buying a Corvette.
272
00:11:58,805 --> 00:12:01,503
But, Charlie, he said
to save it for a rainy day.
273
00:12:01,546 --> 00:12:05,420
Yeah?
Well, when that day comes,
I'll turn on the wipers.
274
00:12:07,814 --> 00:12:09,816
So, Patrick,
I'm a little confused.
I thought I asked you
275
00:12:09,859 --> 00:12:11,295
to take Nolan out
last night, not Lacey.
276
00:12:11,339 --> 00:12:13,733
I know.
And I feel horrible.
277
00:12:13,776 --> 00:12:15,735
It's probably the biggest
mistake of my life.
278
00:12:15,778 --> 00:12:17,693
A simple "I don't care"
would have been sufficient.
279
00:12:17,737 --> 00:12:19,347
[ laughs ]
I don't care.
280
00:12:19,390 --> 00:12:21,784
So, Nolan,
how was your evening?
281
00:12:21,828 --> 00:12:24,787
It would have been okay
if he hadn't spent all night
282
00:12:24,831 --> 00:12:27,311
talking to my sister.
I hate her.
283
00:12:27,355 --> 00:12:30,575
When she was little,
she was always hanging
around our house.
284
00:12:30,619 --> 00:12:32,534
Yeah, that's
the problem with kids.
285
00:12:32,577 --> 00:12:36,103
They become entitled
and they think they're
part of the family.
286
00:12:36,146 --> 00:12:37,974
Lacey, I was asking Nolan
about his evening.
287
00:12:38,018 --> 00:12:41,717
I know, and I'm telling
you it sucked for me.
288
00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:44,807
We're out of time,
so I'll see you all
next Thursday.
289
00:12:44,851 --> 00:12:48,202
So, Ed, how are things
going living with my dad?
290
00:12:48,245 --> 00:12:50,247
Oh, it's fine.
He's a good man.
291
00:12:50,291 --> 00:12:53,294
Ed, what's--
what's going on with
that money he gave us?
292
00:12:53,337 --> 00:12:55,600
Oh, I don't know
nothing about that.
293
00:12:55,644 --> 00:12:58,255
Sometimes a gift
is just a gift.
294
00:12:58,299 --> 00:13:00,780
It's not like
he's hiding money
or nothing.
295
00:13:05,393 --> 00:13:08,526
Hiding money?
From who?
296
00:13:08,570 --> 00:13:10,877
Look, I've said enough.
297
00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:13,923
If you think
I'm gonna say any more,
you're sadly mistaken.
298
00:13:13,967 --> 00:13:17,057
I was a prisoner of war
in Vietnam
299
00:13:17,100 --> 00:13:18,623
and your daddy's a veteran.
300
00:13:18,667 --> 00:13:21,104
I wouldn't sell him out
for anything.
301
00:13:21,148 --> 00:13:23,106
Ed, the police
already called.
302
00:13:23,150 --> 00:13:25,152
They just picked him up.
He's down there right now
saying it was all your idea.
303
00:13:25,195 --> 00:13:28,459
That son of a bitch.
What do you want to know?
304
00:13:28,503 --> 00:13:29,852
What's going on, Ed?
305
00:13:29,896 --> 00:13:31,245
Well, I just told him
306
00:13:31,288 --> 00:13:33,769
to pass the money to
a friend, not a relative.
307
00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:36,337
I didn't want to make
you an accessory.
308
00:13:36,380 --> 00:13:38,861
Holy God, what the hell
did you guys do?
309
00:13:38,905 --> 00:13:42,517
It wasn't too bad.
We almost killed a woman.
310
00:13:44,084 --> 00:13:45,999
Your daddy hit her
with a car
311
00:13:46,042 --> 00:13:49,306
and he's trying
to hide the money
in case he gets sued.
312
00:13:49,350 --> 00:13:52,483
All you got to do is
just give it back to him.
You won't get in no trouble.
313
00:13:52,527 --> 00:13:54,790
Give it back?
What if I'd already spent it?
314
00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:56,574
Good thing I didn't.
315
00:13:56,618 --> 00:13:59,012
Oh, crap.
Jennifer.
316
00:13:59,055 --> 00:14:00,752
I told her to spend it.
317
00:14:00,796 --> 00:14:03,059
Do you want me to go bail
your daddy out of jail?
318
00:14:03,103 --> 00:14:05,627
He's not in jail, Ed.
Police never called.
I was just bluffing.
319
00:14:05,670 --> 00:14:08,195
Oh, in that case,
would you mind
320
00:14:08,238 --> 00:14:11,198
hitting me over the head
with one of these pool sticks?
321
00:14:11,241 --> 00:14:13,853
I don't want to look like
I rolled over too easy.
322
00:14:16,420 --> 00:14:18,335
[ knocking ]
323
00:14:20,729 --> 00:14:22,296
- Hey, Charlie.
- Why don't you answer
your phone?
324
00:14:22,339 --> 00:14:24,298
- I've been calling
you for an hour.
- Oh, sorry.
325
00:14:24,341 --> 00:14:26,953
I think I left my phone
where I bought my new truck.
326
00:14:26,996 --> 00:14:29,303
You bought a new truck?
It's only been 10 hours.
327
00:14:29,346 --> 00:14:31,218
That's barely enough time
to look at a brochure.
328
00:14:31,261 --> 00:14:33,307
What's your problem?
329
00:14:33,350 --> 00:14:35,570
My dad gave us that money
to hide it from some lady
who's gonna sue him.
330
00:14:35,613 --> 00:14:37,224
If we don't give it back,
we're all gonna be in trouble.
331
00:14:37,267 --> 00:14:38,616
What'd you get,
a Dodge, a Ford?
332
00:14:38,660 --> 00:14:42,316
A Thanksgiving food.
333
00:14:42,359 --> 00:14:44,448
You were serious
about that.
334
00:14:44,492 --> 00:14:46,320
It's a good business.
335
00:14:46,363 --> 00:14:48,104
I told you about
the leftovers, right?
336
00:14:49,932 --> 00:14:51,238
Okay, you know what?
It's still a vehicle,
337
00:14:51,281 --> 00:14:52,326
which means we can
still take it back.
338
00:14:52,369 --> 00:14:53,805
I don't think so.
339
00:14:53,849 --> 00:14:56,373
Mr. Garcia--
very nice man,
by the way--
340
00:14:56,417 --> 00:14:58,549
he took the money
I gave him for the truck
341
00:14:58,593 --> 00:14:59,942
and went back
to Guatemala.
342
00:14:59,986 --> 00:15:02,423
He's buying his daughter
back from a drug lord.
343
00:15:05,252 --> 00:15:08,385
I don't understand
why we're going out again
if nobody's paying you.
344
00:15:08,429 --> 00:15:10,779
The last time we were here,
all you did was ignore me.
345
00:15:10,822 --> 00:15:13,216
I know,
and I feel so bad.
346
00:15:13,260 --> 00:15:14,783
And I want to make it
up to you.
347
00:15:14,826 --> 00:15:16,437
The only reason
you're here
348
00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:19,135
is so that you and I
can have a good time.
349
00:15:19,179 --> 00:15:20,745
Wow.
350
00:15:20,789 --> 00:15:22,834
You don't know how long
I've been waiting--
351
00:15:22,878 --> 00:15:26,142
Hey, Sateen, look who
likes me better than you.
352
00:15:26,186 --> 00:15:28,579
Oh, God, is that
why you called?
353
00:15:28,623 --> 00:15:31,713
To make sure I was here?
You are so sad.
354
00:15:31,756 --> 00:15:35,238
And see-through.
Like Saran sad.
355
00:15:35,282 --> 00:15:36,805
Hey, Nolan.
356
00:15:36,848 --> 00:15:39,634
Once you're done
caring for my ancient
older sister,
357
00:15:39,677 --> 00:15:41,244
why don't you
hang with me?
358
00:15:41,288 --> 00:15:43,116
Oh, no, no, no.
359
00:15:43,159 --> 00:15:45,422
This stops right now,
baby sister.
360
00:15:45,466 --> 00:15:48,077
Nolan, sweetheart,
darling, cookie face,
361
00:15:48,121 --> 00:15:50,166
tell Sesame
Streetwalker here
362
00:15:50,210 --> 00:15:52,473
that you want to be
with me and not her.
363
00:15:52,516 --> 00:15:54,431
Is that true, Nolan?
364
00:15:54,475 --> 00:15:57,260
After all that
time we spent in
the booth last night
365
00:15:57,304 --> 00:16:00,220
yelling over the music
and nodding like we could
hear each other?
366
00:16:00,263 --> 00:16:02,657
I'm really sorry, Sateen,
367
00:16:02,700 --> 00:16:05,529
and I'll never forget
everything I didn't
hear you say,
368
00:16:05,573 --> 00:16:07,967
but my heart belongs
to your sister.
369
00:16:08,010 --> 00:16:09,446
That's right.
370
00:16:09,490 --> 00:16:11,971
Now turn that ass
around right now
371
00:16:12,014 --> 00:16:14,538
unless you want
another nose job.
372
00:16:14,582 --> 00:16:16,584
Fine.
Bye, bitch.
373
00:16:16,627 --> 00:16:18,368
Bye, hooker.
374
00:16:18,412 --> 00:16:20,501
Call you
tomorrow, baby girl.
Love you.
375
00:16:22,068 --> 00:16:23,852
- Hey.
- Come here.
376
00:16:23,895 --> 00:16:27,116
You've got to see
this couple from yesterday
having tantric sex.
377
00:16:30,902 --> 00:16:33,079
Are they moving?
378
00:16:33,122 --> 00:16:36,038
Yes, just very slowly.
379
00:16:36,082 --> 00:16:38,040
How can there be a billion
people in India
380
00:16:38,084 --> 00:16:40,303
if it takes this long
to have sex?
381
00:16:40,347 --> 00:16:42,697
- I know, right?
- Whoa, you're in a hurry.
382
00:16:42,740 --> 00:16:44,742
My dad ran over
an old woman
383
00:16:44,786 --> 00:16:47,310
and my ex-wife is buying
a Thanksgiving food truck.
384
00:16:47,354 --> 00:16:49,443
Mmm, not again.
385
00:16:49,486 --> 00:16:50,879
The woman is gonna be fine,
386
00:16:50,922 --> 00:16:52,794
but I'm afraid the family
is gonna sue,
387
00:16:52,837 --> 00:16:54,926
so I want to get over there
and try to come to some
reasonable settlement.
388
00:16:54,970 --> 00:16:57,668
- Oh, so you're
being proactive.
- Yes, I am.
389
00:16:57,712 --> 00:17:00,889
That's a terrible idea.
390
00:17:00,932 --> 00:17:03,544
Why? I want to try
to settle this before
the lawyers get involved.
391
00:17:03,587 --> 00:17:07,026
If I don't,
Jen's gonna get dragged off
to jail in a turkey truck.
392
00:17:07,069 --> 00:17:09,463
So you're negotiating
out of fear.
393
00:17:09,506 --> 00:17:11,552
You're gonna go in there
like a little puppy dog,
394
00:17:11,595 --> 00:17:13,162
hoping they like you
and listen to reason.
395
00:17:13,206 --> 00:17:14,990
What you really need
is a big tough dog
396
00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:17,601
who'll go in there and bite
them before they bite you.
397
00:17:17,645 --> 00:17:19,603
Sure, but where am I
gonna get a big tough dog?
398
00:17:20,952 --> 00:17:22,563
Woof.
399
00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:26,610
Now remember,
you are the good cop
400
00:17:26,654 --> 00:17:29,091
and I am the bad cop.
401
00:17:29,135 --> 00:17:31,050
- [ knocks ]
- Remember we used
to play that game?
402
00:17:31,093 --> 00:17:32,834
You'd dress up
in that little uniform
403
00:17:32,877 --> 00:17:36,316
and pat me down
looking for hidden weapons.
404
00:17:36,359 --> 00:17:39,319
You'd always find
the same one and pretend
to be surprised.
405
00:17:41,582 --> 00:17:43,279
Yes?
Can I help you?
406
00:17:43,323 --> 00:17:45,803
- Hi, is this the home
of Joyce Lewis?
- Yes. I'm her son.
407
00:17:45,847 --> 00:17:48,067
I'm Charlie Goodson.
My father is Martin Goodson.
408
00:17:48,110 --> 00:17:51,157
And I'm his counsel
designated to negotiate
on his behalf.
409
00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:53,159
Hells, yeah, she is.
410
00:17:53,202 --> 00:17:56,640
Look, you can just
give us a bill to repair
the damages to your car.
411
00:17:56,684 --> 00:17:58,860
We just don't want you taking
us to court, that's all.
412
00:17:58,903 --> 00:18:02,124
- Excuse me?
- My mother suffers
from dementia.
413
00:18:02,168 --> 00:18:04,126
She probably jumped out
in front of your father's car.
414
00:18:04,170 --> 00:18:06,433
She used to be a stuntwoman
and she misses the action.
415
00:18:06,476 --> 00:18:08,783
Usually we stop her before
she gets to the street
416
00:18:08,826 --> 00:18:11,090
by yelling "Cut!"
417
00:18:11,133 --> 00:18:12,961
That's very good news.
418
00:18:13,004 --> 00:18:16,007
Except for your mom
getting hit by a car.
419
00:18:16,051 --> 00:18:18,619
Hey, she's a stuntwoman.
That's pretty cool.
420
00:18:18,662 --> 00:18:20,011
Would I have seen her
in anything
421
00:18:20,055 --> 00:18:22,188
other than
my dad's windshield?
422
00:18:24,799 --> 00:18:27,062
We're gonna go.
423
00:18:29,195 --> 00:18:31,110
- Come and get it.
- Hey.
424
00:18:31,153 --> 00:18:34,287
I brought us some dinner.
[ laughs ]
425
00:18:34,330 --> 00:18:36,027
I hope you like
biscuits and gravy
426
00:18:36,071 --> 00:18:37,725
because I brought extry.
427
00:18:37,768 --> 00:18:40,162
Did you just
say "extry"?
428
00:18:40,206 --> 00:18:42,686
Yeah, I did, but if
you don't like the word,
I'll never use it again.
429
00:18:42,730 --> 00:18:45,298
No, no, I'm right good.
430
00:18:45,341 --> 00:18:47,648
It's very kind of you
to do this, Ed.
431
00:18:47,691 --> 00:18:51,173
Oh, a fella can be nice
for no reason, right?
432
00:18:51,217 --> 00:18:53,567
I bought you a Bundt cake
for dessert.
433
00:18:53,610 --> 00:18:55,221
It's all yours
just for being you.
434
00:18:55,264 --> 00:18:57,440
Thank you.
435
00:18:58,702 --> 00:19:01,749
- [ knocking ]
- Oh, hang on.
436
00:19:04,404 --> 00:19:06,754
- Charlie.
- Hey, Dad.
437
00:19:06,797 --> 00:19:10,236
I've got to go.
They forgot to put honey
in for the biscuits.
438
00:19:10,279 --> 00:19:13,456
- I got some in the cupboard.
- I prefer it in the package.
439
00:19:14,762 --> 00:19:17,068
Leave me out of this
and save me a thigh.
440
00:19:18,809 --> 00:19:20,681
Hey, come on in, son.
441
00:19:20,724 --> 00:19:23,901
If this is all about you
coming over to thank me
for the money again,
442
00:19:23,945 --> 00:19:25,338
you don't have to bother.
443
00:19:25,381 --> 00:19:27,601
But if you'd like to stay
for dinner, Ed bought extry.
444
00:19:29,255 --> 00:19:31,344
You can stop pretending
like everything's fine.
445
00:19:31,387 --> 00:19:33,563
I found out the real reason
you gave us the money.
446
00:19:33,607 --> 00:19:35,304
You hit a woman.
447
00:19:35,348 --> 00:19:37,219
I've never hit a woman
in my life.
448
00:19:37,263 --> 00:19:41,658
- With a car.
- Oh, yeah, I did that
the other day.
449
00:19:41,702 --> 00:19:43,791
You'll be happy
to know they're coming
after everything I own--
450
00:19:43,834 --> 00:19:46,141
my house,
Sam's college fund,
everything.
451
00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:48,230
Oh, no, Charlie,
I swear to you
452
00:19:48,274 --> 00:19:50,232
I never thought
this could happen.
453
00:19:50,276 --> 00:19:51,625
Ed said you did.
454
00:19:51,668 --> 00:19:53,366
Well, actually, I did.
455
00:19:53,409 --> 00:19:55,150
I just never thought
it would happen.
456
00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:56,847
But, look, this is
not a problem.
457
00:19:56,891 --> 00:19:58,849
You just give me
all the money back
and I'll handle it.
458
00:19:58,893 --> 00:20:00,590
I can't give it back.
We spent it.
459
00:20:00,634 --> 00:20:04,072
You spent it?
It's been less
than 24 hours.
460
00:20:04,115 --> 00:20:05,247
We got excited
and bought stuff.
461
00:20:05,291 --> 00:20:08,032
Oh, God,
what have I done?
462
00:20:08,076 --> 00:20:11,862
Relax, old man.
We didn't spend
all your money.
463
00:20:11,906 --> 00:20:13,212
But I talked
to the woman's family.
464
00:20:13,255 --> 00:20:14,517
You know
she's demented now?
465
00:20:14,561 --> 00:20:17,259
Oh, God, no.
466
00:20:17,303 --> 00:20:20,697
So what you're saying
is she can't testify.
467
00:20:22,133 --> 00:20:23,222
You're unbelievable.
468
00:20:23,265 --> 00:20:24,875
I can't even
teach you a lesson.
469
00:20:24,919 --> 00:20:26,790
The reason she ran
in front of your car
470
00:20:26,834 --> 00:20:28,575
is because she already
had dementia.
471
00:20:28,618 --> 00:20:30,272
They're not gonna sue you,
but I'm thinking about it.
472
00:20:30,316 --> 00:20:33,057
Oh, no, listen, Charlie,
I have learned my lesson.
473
00:20:33,101 --> 00:20:35,930
I feel terrible.
Look, you just give me
all my money back
474
00:20:35,973 --> 00:20:38,280
and I'll put my tail
between my legs
475
00:20:38,324 --> 00:20:40,891
and just shuffle sadly
off back to the bank.
476
00:20:40,935 --> 00:20:42,893
Well, I can give you
my share back,
477
00:20:42,937 --> 00:20:44,504
but I invested Sam's
in a college fund.
478
00:20:44,547 --> 00:20:47,246
Okay, I can live with that.
479
00:20:47,289 --> 00:20:49,248
What about the money
I gave to Jen?
480
00:20:49,291 --> 00:20:51,293
Bad news.
481
00:20:51,337 --> 00:20:54,470
It's parked at the edge
of Koreatown selling turkey.
482
00:20:55,819 --> 00:20:58,300
Turkey dinner for sale.
483
00:20:58,344 --> 00:21:01,347
Turkey dinner for sale.
484
00:21:02,478 --> 00:21:05,829
Turkey dinner for sale.
485
00:21:05,873 --> 00:21:08,919
Turkey truck for sale.
486
00:21:10,138 --> 00:21:12,358
Turkey truck for sale.
487
00:21:14,098 --> 00:21:16,318
Turkey truck for sale.
37838
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