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1
00:00:02,045 --> 00:00:03,481
We still have
a few minutes left.
2
00:00:03,525 --> 00:00:05,918
Lacey, didn't you
have some kind of a big
test at work?
3
00:00:05,962 --> 00:00:07,790
Yeah, and I totally
aced it.
4
00:00:07,833 --> 00:00:09,748
I'm officially
allowed to sell drugs.
5
00:00:09,792 --> 00:00:12,621
Welcome aboard.
6
00:00:12,664 --> 00:00:15,102
Tomorrow's my first day
representing
7
00:00:15,145 --> 00:00:16,799
Galaxy-Payson
Pharmaceuticals.
8
00:00:16,842 --> 00:00:19,584
They also make peanut butter
and nuclear submarines,
9
00:00:19,628 --> 00:00:21,978
but I'm not licensed
to sell those.
10
00:00:22,022 --> 00:00:24,067
Well, they do have to worry
about national security.
11
00:00:24,111 --> 00:00:27,288
You don't want peanut butter
to fall into the wrong hands.
12
00:00:27,331 --> 00:00:30,943
So, you aced your test
with ease, huh?
13
00:00:30,987 --> 00:00:32,989
Which one did
you cheat off of?
14
00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:36,079
Chinese? Japanese?
15
00:00:36,123 --> 00:00:38,777
Vietnamese?
[ laughs ]
16
00:00:38,821 --> 00:00:40,779
Excuse me,
I did not cheat.
17
00:00:40,823 --> 00:00:43,086
I just double-checked
my answers with somebody else's
18
00:00:43,130 --> 00:00:44,261
before writing them down.
19
00:00:44,305 --> 00:00:47,134
So you didn't cheat?
20
00:00:47,177 --> 00:00:49,005
But it does
sound like you--
21
00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:51,616
what's the right word?
--cheated.
22
00:00:51,660 --> 00:00:55,968
Okay, but there's
only one test that
I really need to pass.
23
00:00:56,012 --> 00:00:58,145
How much of this crap
can I sell?
24
00:00:58,188 --> 00:01:00,190
And I think
I'm gonna do okay
25
00:01:00,234 --> 00:01:01,365
because in case you
haven't noticed,
26
00:01:01,409 --> 00:01:04,238
I'm superhot.
27
00:01:04,281 --> 00:01:06,805
You still have to know
your products.
28
00:01:06,849 --> 00:01:07,850
I do.
29
00:01:07,893 --> 00:01:09,373
Okay, then quick,
30
00:01:09,417 --> 00:01:12,898
give me the chemical name,
class and major side effects
31
00:01:12,942 --> 00:01:15,075
of even one of the drugs
you're selling.
32
00:01:15,118 --> 00:01:17,164
Anti...
33
00:01:17,207 --> 00:01:19,818
dexta...
34
00:01:19,862 --> 00:01:21,472
metho...
35
00:01:21,516 --> 00:01:23,648
ooh, I dropped something.
36
00:01:23,692 --> 00:01:27,783
So how many boxes
of Proloft do you want?
37
00:01:29,132 --> 00:01:31,134
[ alarm beeping ]
38
00:01:31,178 --> 00:01:33,876
- This is it!
- [ alarm stops ]
39
00:01:33,919 --> 00:01:35,921
Sorry, Charlie.
I just finished
hooking things up
40
00:01:35,965 --> 00:01:37,967
and I was testing
the alarm system.
41
00:01:38,010 --> 00:01:40,361
No problem.
This is Monica,
my IT person.
42
00:01:40,404 --> 00:01:42,711
Ed, what did you think
that was?
43
00:01:42,754 --> 00:01:45,105
I don't know.
I thought it was
just a fire.
44
00:01:45,148 --> 00:01:48,543
Or a race war.
45
00:01:48,586 --> 00:01:51,676
No, no, Ed.
My race war alarm sounds
totally different.
46
00:01:54,723 --> 00:01:56,681
So you hooked up
my alarm to my cell phone?
47
00:01:56,725 --> 00:01:58,205
And I did
some other stuff, too.
48
00:01:58,248 --> 00:02:00,468
Now you can run your whole
house from wherever you are.
49
00:02:00,511 --> 00:02:02,687
Your TV, your lights,
your thermostat.
50
00:02:02,731 --> 00:02:04,559
You can turn on your oven
from your car.
51
00:02:04,602 --> 00:02:07,214
- How cool is that?
- That is very cool.
52
00:02:07,257 --> 00:02:09,129
I can't tell you how many
times I'm stuck in traffic
53
00:02:09,172 --> 00:02:12,306
thinking, "Oh, no,
I left my oven off."
54
00:02:12,349 --> 00:02:15,135
[ laughs ]
Ooh, I should
hook up your blender.
55
00:02:15,178 --> 00:02:18,616
That way you can make
margaritas from the bedroom.
56
00:02:25,710 --> 00:02:28,409
All right,
with these sessions
here at my house,
57
00:02:28,452 --> 00:02:31,020
I guess it was inevitable
that my personal life
58
00:02:31,063 --> 00:02:33,240
would intrude
occasionally.
59
00:02:33,283 --> 00:02:36,112
So I'm wide open
to discussing it.
60
00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:38,201
Can you have sex with her
from the bedroom
61
00:02:38,245 --> 00:02:40,682
when she's in the kitchen?
62
00:02:40,725 --> 00:02:43,119
Okay, everybody get out.
63
00:02:46,296 --> 00:02:48,298
Monica, I really appreciate
everything you're doing,
64
00:02:48,342 --> 00:02:50,213
but I don't think I need
all this stuff.
65
00:02:50,257 --> 00:02:52,128
Charlie, you are
going to love it.
66
00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:54,086
Here, press this button
on your phone.
67
00:02:54,130 --> 00:02:57,177
This one?
What happens now?
68
00:02:57,220 --> 00:02:58,656
This.
69
00:03:03,008 --> 00:03:05,228
That is a good button.
70
00:03:05,272 --> 00:03:06,969
[ laughs ]
71
00:03:07,012 --> 00:03:09,232
Hey, have you decided
72
00:03:09,276 --> 00:03:11,060
if you're gonna come with me
to Comic-Con this weekend?
73
00:03:11,103 --> 00:03:13,105
I really don't think so.
74
00:03:13,149 --> 00:03:15,107
I don't do well
with that crowd.
75
00:03:15,151 --> 00:03:16,631
We never see eye to eye.
76
00:03:16,674 --> 00:03:18,807
Mostly 'cause they're all
wearing Darth Vader helmets.
77
00:03:18,850 --> 00:03:20,678
Come on, Charlie.
It's gonna be fun.
78
00:03:20,722 --> 00:03:23,333
And I'm finally
going to get to wear
a sexy costume.
79
00:03:23,377 --> 00:03:25,205
My stupid, jealous
ex-boyfriend never let me.
80
00:03:25,248 --> 00:03:27,468
I don't know.
Nerds hate me.
81
00:03:27,511 --> 00:03:29,296
There's something about me
that brings out their rage.
82
00:03:29,339 --> 00:03:31,254
It's been like this
my whole life.
83
00:03:31,298 --> 00:03:34,214
In high school,
when I was a ballplayer,
at my wedding.
84
00:03:34,257 --> 00:03:36,520
Something always happens,
I lose it,
85
00:03:36,564 --> 00:03:39,741
and I wind up in a bathroom
with some brainiac wearing
a toilet for a hat.
86
00:03:39,784 --> 00:03:42,700
At my wedding!
87
00:03:42,744 --> 00:03:44,833
[ theme music playing ]
88
00:03:47,270 --> 00:03:49,838
Thanks for the ride, Nolan,
but you don't have
to wait up here.
89
00:03:49,881 --> 00:03:51,100
You can wait in the car.
90
00:03:51,143 --> 00:03:53,102
I'm here for moral support.
91
00:03:53,145 --> 00:03:55,844
If you make your first sale
and you're looking for somebody
to hug and kiss,
92
00:03:55,887 --> 00:03:57,541
I'm your guy.
93
00:03:57,585 --> 00:04:00,849
If it doesn't work out and you
want to slap somebody around,
94
00:04:00,892 --> 00:04:03,155
that's okay, too.
95
00:04:03,199 --> 00:04:05,462
Well, it's gonna go great.
96
00:04:05,506 --> 00:04:07,464
I stayed up all night
memorizing everything.
97
00:04:07,508 --> 00:04:10,032
So if you're just
gonna sit here, you might
as well quiz me.
98
00:04:10,075 --> 00:04:13,122
Okay.
What's the capital
of Texas?
99
00:04:13,165 --> 00:04:15,994
- About Proloft.
- Oh.
100
00:04:17,474 --> 00:04:20,129
Okay, what are Proloft's
major side effects?
101
00:04:20,172 --> 00:04:22,436
Thank you for asking.
102
00:04:22,479 --> 00:04:26,091
Proloft may cause
cognitive impairment,
103
00:04:26,135 --> 00:04:28,485
behavioral disinhibition,
lack of coordination,
104
00:04:28,529 --> 00:04:31,793
and hypotension.
Do not mix with alcohol.
105
00:04:31,836 --> 00:04:33,447
By the way, when they say,
"Do not mix with alcohol,"
106
00:04:33,490 --> 00:04:35,187
it means this will be awesome
mixed with alcohol,
107
00:04:35,231 --> 00:04:36,537
but I'm not
gonna say that part.
108
00:04:38,190 --> 00:04:40,367
Are you
the Galaxy-Payson rep?
109
00:04:40,410 --> 00:04:43,065
Yes, thank you for asking.
110
00:04:43,108 --> 00:04:46,590
I'm sorry, but Dr. Connor
has been called into surgery
111
00:04:46,634 --> 00:04:48,853
and he won't be available
till the end of the day.
112
00:04:48,897 --> 00:04:52,074
End of the day?
Can't I just pitch
to him during surgery?
113
00:04:52,117 --> 00:04:53,771
I won't touch anything.
114
00:04:53,815 --> 00:04:55,251
I'm sorry.
115
00:04:57,949 --> 00:05:00,256
In six hours, I don't even
know if this stuff is still
gonna be in my head.
116
00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:03,477
- I'm freaking out.
- You should try some Proloft.
117
00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:06,958
Why, what does it do?
118
00:05:07,002 --> 00:05:09,047
It's an antianxiety
drug that--
119
00:05:09,091 --> 00:05:11,223
I know what it does.
I'm just freaking out.
120
00:05:12,747 --> 00:05:15,184
You're only supposed
to take one pill as needed.
121
00:05:18,361 --> 00:05:19,406
How you feeling?
122
00:05:19,449 --> 00:05:21,146
I'm still freaking out.
123
00:05:21,190 --> 00:05:23,235
Take some more.
124
00:05:27,239 --> 00:05:30,199
Hey, the system
you set up works.
125
00:05:30,242 --> 00:05:32,854
I just turned on my dryer
from my bed.
126
00:05:32,897 --> 00:05:35,552
I'm so glad you changed
your mind about going
to Comic-Con.
127
00:05:35,596 --> 00:05:38,207
You ready to see
what I'm going to wear?
128
00:05:38,250 --> 00:05:39,730
If it's Yoda
in a bra and panties,
129
00:05:39,774 --> 00:05:42,037
I cannot be responsible
for my actions.
130
00:05:44,126 --> 00:05:47,259
[ sputters ]
Wow!
131
00:05:47,303 --> 00:05:51,133
What are you,
like some kind of
a space stripper?
132
00:05:51,176 --> 00:05:54,354
Yeah, I'm saving up to go
to space nursing school.
133
00:05:55,616 --> 00:05:59,271
No, I'm Gina X
from "Stargazers."
134
00:05:59,315 --> 00:06:01,099
She's an intergalactic spy.
135
00:06:01,143 --> 00:06:02,536
Let me get this straight.
136
00:06:02,579 --> 00:06:05,408
You're an alien being
from a galaxy far, far away
137
00:06:05,452 --> 00:06:07,018
and your name is Gina?
138
00:06:07,062 --> 00:06:08,846
[ phone chimes ]
139
00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:12,284
Oh, God.
Not again.
140
00:06:12,328 --> 00:06:13,764
What is it?
141
00:06:13,808 --> 00:06:15,375
My ex-boyfriend
keeps texting me.
142
00:06:15,418 --> 00:06:17,681
He heard I was going
to Comic-Con with another guy
143
00:06:17,725 --> 00:06:19,248
and he's totally losing it.
144
00:06:19,291 --> 00:06:21,642
You can't blame him.
He just lost Gina X,
145
00:06:21,685 --> 00:06:23,470
the intergalactic
stripper nurse.
146
00:06:25,428 --> 00:06:26,821
Maybe we shouldn't go.
147
00:06:26,864 --> 00:06:29,084
Oh, come on.
You look great.
148
00:06:29,127 --> 00:06:32,348
I went cape shopping yesterday.
I bought a really great cape.
149
00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:34,655
But he's going
to be there
150
00:06:34,698 --> 00:06:36,526
and if we bump into him,
it's gonna get ugly.
151
00:06:36,570 --> 00:06:39,050
Oh, come on.
Going to this convention
means a lot to you.
152
00:06:39,094 --> 00:06:41,226
You can't just let
some bully push you around.
153
00:06:41,270 --> 00:06:42,967
What would Gina X do?
154
00:06:43,011 --> 00:06:45,056
She would exhaust
him sexually
155
00:06:45,100 --> 00:06:47,624
and then bury
him alive.
156
00:06:47,668 --> 00:06:50,105
Okay, besides that.
157
00:06:51,149 --> 00:06:54,283
I think she'd do
what she wants to do.
158
00:06:54,326 --> 00:06:56,720
- All right, we'll go.
- [ phone chimes ]
159
00:06:56,764 --> 00:06:59,984
Unbelievable.
He just won't stop.
160
00:07:00,028 --> 00:07:01,682
Kent Mosler, huh?
161
00:07:01,725 --> 00:07:03,814
You know, I am a therapist.
I could talk to this guy.
162
00:07:03,858 --> 00:07:05,512
Please don't.
He's unpredictable
163
00:07:05,555 --> 00:07:07,252
and you'll
just make it worse.
164
00:07:07,296 --> 00:07:08,993
Promise me
you won't do anything.
165
00:07:09,037 --> 00:07:11,300
- Fine, I promise.
- [ phone chimes ]
166
00:07:13,607 --> 00:07:15,870
I just got another
e-mail from my dryer.
167
00:07:15,913 --> 00:07:17,698
It's my neediest
appliance.
168
00:07:17,741 --> 00:07:19,395
[ laughs ]
169
00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:21,310
I'll be right back.
170
00:07:21,353 --> 00:07:24,052
Gina X's thong is giving
her a space wedgie.
171
00:07:30,624 --> 00:07:33,104
There you are,
Kent Mosler.
172
00:07:38,327 --> 00:07:40,372
Hello, this message
is for Kent Mosler.
173
00:07:40,416 --> 00:07:43,114
My name is Charles Goodson
and I think you and I should
get together and talk.
174
00:07:43,158 --> 00:07:45,465
Monica:
Are you talking
to somebody?
175
00:07:45,508 --> 00:07:48,468
It's crazy.
My microwave
just called me.
176
00:07:52,646 --> 00:07:54,256
Hey, Brett.
177
00:07:54,299 --> 00:07:56,780
Hey, Charlie.
You're in here pretty early.
178
00:07:56,824 --> 00:08:00,175
It's been a while since you
threw on a day drunk.
179
00:08:00,218 --> 00:08:02,438
I've never thrown on
a day drunk, Brett.
180
00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:04,527
Well, then you're due.
181
00:08:04,571 --> 00:08:06,529
And you know what?
It's kind of nice.
182
00:08:06,573 --> 00:08:08,792
You're asleep by 7:00,
up with the birds,
183
00:08:08,836 --> 00:08:10,664
four hours crawling around
in the shower,
184
00:08:10,707 --> 00:08:14,319
then you're ready
just to start it back
up all over again.
185
00:08:14,363 --> 00:08:16,539
Yeah, as appealing
as all that sounds,
186
00:08:16,583 --> 00:08:18,410
I'm here to have a talk
187
00:08:18,454 --> 00:08:20,848
with a jealous ex-boyfriend
of a girl I'm seeing.
188
00:08:20,891 --> 00:08:22,850
Man, you want a weapon?
189
00:08:22,893 --> 00:08:25,722
I've got a bat, a knife,
another bat.
190
00:08:25,766 --> 00:08:27,985
I've got a bat
with knives in it.
191
00:08:28,029 --> 00:08:31,162
Jeez, Brett, what do you
think is gonna happen?
192
00:08:31,206 --> 00:08:33,513
I don't know.
Race war?
193
00:08:35,602 --> 00:08:38,474
Is there something going on
that I don't know about?
194
00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:40,955
Charlie Goodson?
195
00:08:40,998 --> 00:08:43,000
You must be Kent.
196
00:08:43,044 --> 00:08:45,699
Thanks for coming by.
I'm hoping you and I can
have a friendly dialogue.
197
00:08:45,742 --> 00:08:49,311
Oh, did you? Yeah?
I don't think that's
gonna happen, jockstrap.
198
00:08:49,354 --> 00:08:53,054
Listen, Kent, I know
that you're angry about
me and Monica, but--
199
00:08:53,097 --> 00:08:55,186
Oh, no, I'm angry
about a lot of things--
200
00:08:55,230 --> 00:08:57,841
"Star Wars" prequels,
ending of "Lost,"
201
00:08:57,885 --> 00:09:01,366
my mom getting
remarried to that guy
202
00:09:01,410 --> 00:09:03,891
Jack.
203
00:09:03,934 --> 00:09:06,458
But primarily I would
like my girlfriend back
204
00:09:06,502 --> 00:09:09,505
from the evil Dr. Slick.
205
00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:11,594
Look, Kent...
206
00:09:11,638 --> 00:09:13,640
Jeez, I'm a giant.
207
00:09:16,599 --> 00:09:19,471
I know it's hard
losing someone and it
happens to all of us,
208
00:09:19,515 --> 00:09:22,823
but the best way
to cope with rejection
is to move on.
209
00:09:22,866 --> 00:09:26,217
Ah, well said, Dr. Slick.
210
00:09:26,261 --> 00:09:29,612
But you need to harken,
my friend.
211
00:09:29,656 --> 00:09:33,094
You have one day
to break up with Monica
212
00:09:33,137 --> 00:09:35,183
or else.
213
00:09:35,226 --> 00:09:36,619
Or else what?
214
00:09:36,663 --> 00:09:40,536
You have no idea
what I'm capable of.
215
00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:43,452
I will destroy you.
216
00:09:46,498 --> 00:09:49,284
Okay, now you know
that lightsabers
aren't real, right?
217
00:09:49,327 --> 00:09:51,591
They have a prototype.
218
00:09:53,288 --> 00:09:55,333
24 hours.
219
00:09:55,377 --> 00:09:57,640
Until they develop
the prototype?
220
00:09:57,684 --> 00:09:59,424
No! Our thing.
221
00:09:59,468 --> 00:10:01,122
Now, if you'll excuse me,
222
00:10:01,165 --> 00:10:03,646
I have to go have dinner
with my mom and...
223
00:10:03,690 --> 00:10:05,648
Jack.
224
00:10:10,958 --> 00:10:13,177
- [ knocking ]
- Come in.
225
00:10:14,178 --> 00:10:16,267
Hello.
226
00:10:16,311 --> 00:10:19,270
Oh, I am so sorry
to have kept you waiting.
227
00:10:19,314 --> 00:10:22,404
No, no, no,
that's totally
understandable.
228
00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:26,582
[ giggles ]
229
00:10:27,801 --> 00:10:29,759
Are you okay?
230
00:10:29,803 --> 00:10:33,589
Yes. I'm here to talk
to you about Proloft.
231
00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:36,853
Mmm, Proloft.
232
00:10:36,897 --> 00:10:39,421
If you've got anxiety,
not anymore you don't,
233
00:10:39,464 --> 00:10:42,163
'cause this stuff
really works.
234
00:10:45,732 --> 00:10:47,995
Are you sure you want
to do this now?
235
00:10:48,038 --> 00:10:49,561
Thank you for asking.
236
00:10:49,605 --> 00:10:51,781
Proloft causes
cognitive impairment,
237
00:10:51,825 --> 00:10:54,958
behavioral disinhibition
and lack of coordination.
238
00:10:55,002 --> 00:10:57,091
Nailed it.
239
00:10:57,134 --> 00:11:01,095
Miss, you look
considerably impaired.
240
00:11:01,138 --> 00:11:03,488
No, I just dropped something.
241
00:11:03,532 --> 00:11:06,274
You want to buy some?
242
00:11:07,405 --> 00:11:09,625
Uh, I'm getting the nurse.
243
00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:12,323
Look at my boobs!
244
00:11:12,367 --> 00:11:14,674
Look at them!
245
00:11:24,814 --> 00:11:26,773
I look like a dick.
246
00:11:37,609 --> 00:11:39,394
I am Hrothgar
247
00:11:39,437 --> 00:11:41,701
and I look like a dick.
248
00:11:43,659 --> 00:11:46,488
- [ knocking ]
- Sam, would you
get the door?
249
00:11:46,531 --> 00:11:49,447
I can't.
I'm getting ready
to go to Caitlin's.
250
00:11:49,491 --> 00:11:51,449
Is that for Comic-Con?
251
00:11:51,493 --> 00:11:53,669
No, I'm gonna hit the gym.
252
00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:55,976
What do you think?
253
00:11:56,019 --> 00:11:58,500
Wasn't sure if I wanted
to go away for college.
254
00:11:58,543 --> 00:11:59,675
Now I am.
255
00:12:01,633 --> 00:12:03,853
[ knocking ]
256
00:12:08,815 --> 00:12:10,642
Patrick.
What are you doing here?
257
00:12:10,686 --> 00:12:14,559
I got your e-mail.
Why would you say such
a horrible thing to me?
258
00:12:15,822 --> 00:12:19,564
Oh, I'm sorry.
You've obviously
gone insane.
259
00:12:19,608 --> 00:12:22,698
It's for Comic-Con.
What e-mail are you
talking about?
260
00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:24,874
The one you sent telling me
that I was beyond help
261
00:12:24,918 --> 00:12:26,528
and needed a psychic.
262
00:12:26,571 --> 00:12:29,661
Patrick, I would
never say something
like that to you.
263
00:12:29,705 --> 00:12:31,838
My God, somebody must
have hacked my e-mail.
264
00:12:31,881 --> 00:12:33,665
That's exactly
what the e-mail said
you would say.
265
00:12:33,709 --> 00:12:36,799
- I didn't say that either.
- It said you would
say that, too.
266
00:12:36,843 --> 00:12:39,062
[ machines humming ]
267
00:12:39,106 --> 00:12:41,761
What the hell is that?
268
00:12:45,982 --> 00:12:47,462
You're seeing
this, right?
269
00:12:47,505 --> 00:12:48,942
Patrick:
Yeah.
270
00:12:51,771 --> 00:12:53,381
[ turns off ]
271
00:12:53,424 --> 00:12:55,122
Oh, my God.
272
00:12:55,165 --> 00:12:57,646
All the appliances turned
on by themselves.
273
00:12:57,689 --> 00:12:59,648
It's like "Beauty
and the Beast" in here.
274
00:13:02,433 --> 00:13:04,000
Oh, man.
275
00:13:11,181 --> 00:13:13,836
What's going on
with your house, Charlie?
276
00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:15,882
Monica hooked everything
up to the Internet
277
00:13:15,925 --> 00:13:17,797
so I could control it
wirelessly.
278
00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:19,233
How's that working out?
279
00:13:19,276 --> 00:13:21,539
So far, I don't like it.
280
00:13:25,065 --> 00:13:26,718
Whoa.
281
00:13:26,762 --> 00:13:28,938
Wow, look at you.
282
00:13:28,982 --> 00:13:32,159
Just call me Hrothgar.
283
00:13:32,202 --> 00:13:34,335
What's going on?
284
00:13:34,378 --> 00:13:36,859
You tell me.
You're the one who
hooked all this up.
285
00:13:36,903 --> 00:13:38,252
Tell me you didn't
talk to Kent.
286
00:13:38,295 --> 00:13:40,341
[ stammers ]
Kent?
287
00:13:40,384 --> 00:13:43,474
Of course not.
What makes you say that?
288
00:13:43,518 --> 00:13:45,999
- [ music playing ]
- Kent: Charles Goodson.
289
00:13:47,696 --> 00:13:50,525
I told you I would
destroy you, and I will.
290
00:13:50,568 --> 00:13:54,007
You know, we might
have bumped into
each other somewhere.
291
00:13:59,577 --> 00:14:00,752
Where are you?
292
00:14:00,796 --> 00:14:03,843
I have taken over
your TV.
293
00:14:03,886 --> 00:14:06,193
You haven't really
taken it over.
294
00:14:06,236 --> 00:14:07,585
You're in
the right-hand corner.
295
00:14:07,629 --> 00:14:09,631
Really?
296
00:14:09,674 --> 00:14:11,111
Give me a moment.
297
00:14:11,154 --> 00:14:12,590
[ typing ]
298
00:14:12,634 --> 00:14:14,984
Now I have
taken over your TV.
299
00:14:15,028 --> 00:14:18,031
Prepare to suffer
the full wrath of--
300
00:14:18,074 --> 00:14:20,816
No, no, you're still
just in the corner.
301
00:14:22,122 --> 00:14:24,776
I'm on your TV.
I feel like that's
good enough.
302
00:14:24,820 --> 00:14:25,865
What do you want, Kent?
303
00:14:25,908 --> 00:14:28,258
I want you back.
304
00:14:28,302 --> 00:14:32,349
And I'm going to disrupt
this Neanderthal's house
until I get you.
305
00:14:32,393 --> 00:14:34,221
- Is there
anything you can do?
- I don't think so.
306
00:14:34,264 --> 00:14:36,876
He's a computer genius.
He was a hacker
for the CIA.
307
00:14:36,919 --> 00:14:39,879
- Well, you
didn't mention that.
- I said be careful.
308
00:14:39,922 --> 00:14:41,968
No, no, you have to put it
all in one sentence.
309
00:14:42,011 --> 00:14:45,362
Like, "Be careful,
he's a hacker for the CIA."
310
00:14:45,406 --> 00:14:48,931
Behold,
I am your whole screen.
311
00:14:48,975 --> 00:14:50,498
Say good-bye, Kent.
312
00:14:50,541 --> 00:14:53,544
There's nothing you can do.
I will torment you forever.
313
00:14:53,588 --> 00:14:56,852
- I got all the time
in the world.
- Shut up, punk.
314
00:14:56,896 --> 00:15:00,073
I've got a circuit breaker
and I know how to use it.
315
00:15:00,116 --> 00:15:01,596
I win.
316
00:15:01,639 --> 00:15:02,989
Oh!
317
00:15:03,032 --> 00:15:05,469
I've also got stairs.
318
00:15:05,513 --> 00:15:06,775
And a head lump.
319
00:15:13,521 --> 00:15:15,653
Hey.
320
00:15:15,697 --> 00:15:17,307
What's going on?
321
00:15:17,351 --> 00:15:18,482
I had to turn off
my power.
322
00:15:18,526 --> 00:15:20,658
Want some
rancid pork chops?
323
00:15:20,702 --> 00:15:22,530
Depends.
324
00:15:22,573 --> 00:15:24,532
How rancid?
325
00:15:24,575 --> 00:15:28,928
Could probably wash 'em down
with some of this milk.
326
00:15:31,495 --> 00:15:33,019
Why did you turn off
your power?
327
00:15:33,062 --> 00:15:34,759
It's a long story.
I met this girl
328
00:15:34,803 --> 00:15:36,805
and we're going to Comic-Con
this weekend, so--
329
00:15:36,848 --> 00:15:39,503
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You're going to Comic-Con?
330
00:15:39,547 --> 00:15:42,115
It's like
the Million Man March
but with nerds.
331
00:15:43,638 --> 00:15:46,815
Anyway, this girl's
ex-boyfriend hacked
my entire house,
332
00:15:46,858 --> 00:15:50,340
took over my television,
and changed my outgoing
message.
333
00:15:50,384 --> 00:15:52,821
- To what?
- Now it says, "Hi,
thanks for calling.
334
00:15:52,864 --> 00:15:55,563
Wait for the beep,
then shove the phone
up your ass."
335
00:15:55,606 --> 00:15:58,218
Well, if you're going
to Comic-Con,
336
00:15:58,261 --> 00:15:59,567
we might as well
drive down together.
337
00:15:59,610 --> 00:16:01,656
Hold on.
You go to this thing?
338
00:16:01,699 --> 00:16:03,701
No, I don't go.
339
00:16:03,745 --> 00:16:06,443
The mutant king
of planet Nuru does.
340
00:16:06,487 --> 00:16:10,186
And believe me,
it's a weekend with
major tail.
341
00:16:10,230 --> 00:16:13,102
I'm guessing Major Tail
is your sidekick.
342
00:16:13,146 --> 00:16:15,191
I'm afraid so.
343
00:16:16,627 --> 00:16:19,282
Charlie, chill.
You can't let this guy
get to you.
344
00:16:19,326 --> 00:16:21,284
I know,
but I just want to--
345
00:16:21,328 --> 00:16:23,721
I want to pull
his Spiderman Underoos
over his head
346
00:16:23,765 --> 00:16:25,549
and stuff him through
a basketball hoop.
347
00:16:25,593 --> 00:16:28,465
Just forget about it.
Let's just go see a movie.
348
00:16:28,509 --> 00:16:30,293
How do you get
to your browser?
349
00:16:30,337 --> 00:16:32,034
There's usually a thing
on the desktop.
350
00:16:32,078 --> 00:16:34,080
There's nothing
on your desktop.
351
00:16:34,123 --> 00:16:35,995
You've got
to be kidding me.
352
00:16:36,038 --> 00:16:37,431
Everything's gone.
353
00:16:37,474 --> 00:16:40,042
My patient records,
my billing, my novel.
354
00:16:40,086 --> 00:16:41,522
- Oh, you wrote a novel?
- Just a title.
355
00:16:41,565 --> 00:16:43,263
I'm still noodling.
356
00:16:45,656 --> 00:16:48,355
It was him.
That dirty bastard.
357
00:16:48,398 --> 00:16:49,878
Charlie,
think healthy thoughts.
358
00:16:49,921 --> 00:16:53,534
Screw healthy.
Let's go slam-dunk a nerd.
359
00:17:04,762 --> 00:17:06,242
Hello, Kent.
360
00:17:06,286 --> 00:17:07,809
Hey, get your hands
off me.
361
00:17:07,852 --> 00:17:10,420
This man's
a false Hrothgar.
362
00:17:10,464 --> 00:17:11,856
Help, guys.
Back me up.
363
00:17:11,900 --> 00:17:14,555
You're not getting away.
You screwed up my life
364
00:17:14,598 --> 00:17:17,514
and I can't remember
the title of my novel.
365
00:17:17,558 --> 00:17:19,473
- Dipwad.
- Whoa, whoa.
366
00:17:19,516 --> 00:17:21,301
Be very cool.
367
00:17:21,344 --> 00:17:24,434
Back off, nerds.
368
00:17:25,522 --> 00:17:27,611
Didn't you hear
what I said?
369
00:17:27,655 --> 00:17:29,700
Back off.
370
00:17:29,744 --> 00:17:31,180
[ laughs ]
Big deal.
371
00:17:31,224 --> 00:17:32,703
A rubber sword.
372
00:17:32,747 --> 00:17:35,402
- [ chuckles ]
- [ clangs ]
373
00:17:36,707 --> 00:17:39,580
Run away.
Run away.
374
00:17:48,850 --> 00:17:51,983
You're dead, Blue...
375
00:17:52,027 --> 00:17:54,551
Turd.
376
00:17:54,595 --> 00:17:57,511
Unless you give me back
everything on my computer.
377
00:17:57,554 --> 00:17:59,730
Then you'll be
a little less dead.
378
00:17:59,774 --> 00:18:02,298
Just hit me already.
Okay, I know you want to.
379
00:18:02,342 --> 00:18:04,518
You people solve all your
problems with violence.
380
00:18:04,561 --> 00:18:06,346
Because you people
drive us to it.
381
00:18:06,389 --> 00:18:08,174
You think I want
to be like this?
382
00:18:08,217 --> 00:18:11,916
Living in the shadows,
hiding behind a wall
of awesome technology?
383
00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:13,701
I don't get to be
the cool athlete
384
00:18:13,744 --> 00:18:14,963
that swoops in
and gets the girl.
385
00:18:15,006 --> 00:18:17,139
Okay, I'm the nerd
that stands in the rain
386
00:18:17,183 --> 00:18:20,403
holding a boom box
and realizes the girl's on
a date with another guy.
387
00:18:20,447 --> 00:18:23,493
I can't go toe-to-toe
with a jock like you.
388
00:18:23,537 --> 00:18:25,930
I'd do anything
to be like you.
389
00:18:28,237 --> 00:18:29,543
Fine, I get it.
390
00:18:29,586 --> 00:18:31,806
Nobody's got it easy.
Life's tough.
391
00:18:31,849 --> 00:18:35,331
So just give me back
all my stuff and we'll
call it even.
392
00:18:36,724 --> 00:18:38,682
Nah.
393
00:18:41,555 --> 00:18:43,644
You almost had me, nerd.
394
00:18:43,687 --> 00:18:46,037
- [ whimpers ]
- Charlie! Charlie!
395
00:18:46,081 --> 00:18:49,476
Don't do it
until I block the door.
396
00:18:49,519 --> 00:18:51,956
[ toilet flushes ]
397
00:18:55,046 --> 00:18:56,700
So, Lacey,
how you feeling?
398
00:18:56,744 --> 00:18:58,572
Nolan tells us
you had an interesting
sales call yesterday.
399
00:18:58,615 --> 00:19:00,748
Yeah, slurring
all your words,
400
00:19:00,791 --> 00:19:02,141
stumbling all over
the place,
401
00:19:02,184 --> 00:19:05,100
and knocking over
a tray of urine samples.
402
00:19:05,144 --> 00:19:08,495
That last one was me.
403
00:19:08,538 --> 00:19:10,932
For your information,
it went great.
404
00:19:10,975 --> 00:19:14,109
When the doctor found out
how many Proloft I took
without dying,
405
00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:17,460
he was so impressed by
the safety of the product,
he asked for a case.
406
00:19:17,504 --> 00:19:20,376
Or he waited
for you to pass out,
407
00:19:20,420 --> 00:19:24,032
copped a feel,
and felt all guilty about it.
408
00:19:25,773 --> 00:19:28,036
Whatevs.
The guy's a doctor.
409
00:19:28,079 --> 00:19:31,257
Okay, speaking of crazy...
Charlie, I hope you
don't mind,
410
00:19:31,300 --> 00:19:35,130
but I told everyone how
the IT girl's ex-boyfriend
was messing with your house.
411
00:19:35,174 --> 00:19:36,914
Oh, right, right.
I took care of all that.
412
00:19:36,958 --> 00:19:38,438
Everything's back to normal.
413
00:19:38,481 --> 00:19:40,483
By the way, if anyone got
any unusual e-mail from me,
414
00:19:40,527 --> 00:19:42,746
it was from him.
He hacked my account.
415
00:19:42,790 --> 00:19:44,705
That's a relief.
416
00:19:44,748 --> 00:19:47,316
I didn't really think
you wanted to raise your rates
by $20 a session.
417
00:19:47,360 --> 00:19:50,928
Actually, that e-mail
was from me.
418
00:19:50,972 --> 00:19:52,930
No problem.
I just deleted it.
419
00:19:52,974 --> 00:19:55,150
Straight to trash.
420
00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:57,935
I got the same message
from your hacker.
421
00:19:57,979 --> 00:20:01,025
But don't worry,
I'm blocking everything
that comes from you.
422
00:20:02,288 --> 00:20:04,072
But then how will you
get my bills?
423
00:20:04,115 --> 00:20:06,161
Oh, not a problem at all.
424
00:20:06,205 --> 00:20:08,207
[ laughs ]
You're welcome.
425
00:20:11,340 --> 00:20:13,995
So, give us the deets.
426
00:20:14,038 --> 00:20:15,866
How did you finally
get rid of the ex?
427
00:20:15,910 --> 00:20:18,304
Well, I went down
to San Diego and we had
a frank and honest talk.
428
00:20:18,347 --> 00:20:20,523
So you're still with
the hot computer girl?
429
00:20:20,567 --> 00:20:22,395
- No, she dumped me.
- Why?
430
00:20:22,438 --> 00:20:25,528
Because I beat up
her ex-boyfriend after
the frank and honest talk.
431
00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:30,011
She felt sorry
for him and now
they're back together.
432
00:20:30,054 --> 00:20:33,232
So, wait,
the super hot chick
got back with the nerd
433
00:20:33,275 --> 00:20:36,060
because he got hurt
fighting for her?
434
00:20:36,104 --> 00:20:37,540
Not gonna happen.
435
00:20:37,584 --> 00:20:40,282
What the hell, lady?
436
00:20:40,326 --> 00:20:42,066
But I think we can all learn
something from this.
437
00:20:42,110 --> 00:20:43,981
I didn't control my anger
438
00:20:44,025 --> 00:20:46,027
and I lost something
very dear to me.
439
00:20:46,070 --> 00:20:47,550
I thought you weren't
that into her.
440
00:20:47,594 --> 00:20:50,249
No, no, but we had
a lot of fun together.
441
00:20:50,292 --> 00:20:52,207
You said she was
too geeky for you.
442
00:20:52,251 --> 00:20:55,210
Well, a little,
but she was very attractive.
443
00:20:55,254 --> 00:20:59,780
So you're saying you got mad
and lost a piece of ass?
444
00:21:01,216 --> 00:21:03,174
Essentially.
33229
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