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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,041 --> 00:00:08,176 YOU WANTED TO SEE ME, DICK? 2 00:00:08,209 --> 00:00:09,643 OH, MARY, THANK GOD. 3 00:00:09,677 --> 00:00:11,279 I WANTED TO SHOW YOU THAT IF YOU MIX UP THE LETTERS 4 00:00:11,312 --> 00:00:12,046 IN YOUR LAST NAME, 5 00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:14,482 IT SPELLS "LAB RIGHT." 6 00:00:18,186 --> 00:00:19,420 OK. 7 00:00:19,453 --> 00:00:21,021 BUT WHAT WAS THE EMERGENCY 8 00:00:21,055 --> 00:00:22,190 THAT COULDN'T WAIT ANOTHER SECOND, 9 00:00:22,223 --> 00:00:24,992 THAT MADE ME GET OFF THE PHONE WITH THE CHANCELLOR? 10 00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:28,529 "LAB RIGHT." 11 00:00:28,562 --> 00:00:31,165 DICK, LOOK. SOMETHING WEIRD IS GOING ON AT WORK. 12 00:00:31,199 --> 00:00:33,634 DOUG'S GONNA MAKE ME PAY TAXES. 13 00:00:33,667 --> 00:00:35,936 EVERYONE PAYS TAXES, HARRY. 14 00:00:35,969 --> 00:00:38,206 IT IS OUR DUTY, NAY, OUR PRIVILEGE 15 00:00:38,239 --> 00:00:40,774 TO PAY TAXES WHEN WE PURCHASE GOODS, 16 00:00:40,808 --> 00:00:43,477 SUCH AS CHOCOLATES AND COMBS. 17 00:00:43,511 --> 00:00:45,579 THAT'S VERY NOBLE OF YOU, DICK, IN FEBRUARY. 18 00:00:45,613 --> 00:00:48,416 LET'S SEE WHAT YOU SAY IN APRIL WHEN YOU HAVE TO FILE YOUR RETURN. 19 00:00:48,449 --> 00:00:49,583 MY RETURN? 20 00:00:49,617 --> 00:00:51,152 YOUR TAX RETURN. 21 00:00:51,185 --> 00:00:54,288 OH. MY TAX RETURN. 22 00:00:54,322 --> 00:00:55,656 THE ONE YOU FILE EVERY YEAR. 23 00:00:55,689 --> 00:00:57,091 OH, THAT. YES. 24 00:00:57,125 --> 00:00:58,892 WELL, NINA DOES ALL MY FILING. 25 00:00:58,926 --> 00:00:59,827 UH, NINA! 26 00:00:59,860 --> 00:01:00,394 WHAT? 27 00:01:00,428 --> 00:01:01,895 UH, BRING ME MY RETURN. 28 00:01:01,929 --> 00:01:02,963 YOUR RETURN? 29 00:01:02,996 --> 00:01:04,698 MY RETURN. MY RETURN. 30 00:01:04,732 --> 00:01:05,933 YOU SEE WHAT I HAVE TO DEAL WITH? 31 00:01:05,966 --> 00:01:07,235 MY RETURN! 32 00:01:11,639 --> 00:01:13,841 ALL RIGHT. FORM 1040. 33 00:01:13,874 --> 00:01:15,476 FIRST NAME: DICK. 34 00:01:15,509 --> 00:01:18,379 LAST NAME: SOLOMON. 35 00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:21,014 AND MARY SAID THIS WOULD BE COMPLICATED. 36 00:01:21,048 --> 00:01:24,017 DICK, THIS IS SO BORING. WHY ARE WE DOING IT? 37 00:01:24,051 --> 00:01:26,354 BECAUSE, SALLY, THIS IS WHAT HUMANS DO. 38 00:01:26,387 --> 00:01:28,522 IT'S LIKE THEIR NATIONAL PASTIME. 39 00:01:28,556 --> 00:01:30,758 AND YOU DON'T WANT US TO STAND OUT. 40 00:01:30,791 --> 00:01:32,726 HEY. YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD BE FUNNY? 41 00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:35,529 WHERE IT SAYS SEX, WRITE "FREQUENTLY." 42 00:01:37,398 --> 00:01:39,433 THEY DON'T ASK FOR YOUR SEX HERE. 43 00:01:39,467 --> 00:01:41,169 WELL, IF THERE'S ANYPLACE YOU CAN INDICATE 44 00:01:41,202 --> 00:01:44,172 THAT YOU LIKE TO HAVE FREQUENT SEX, I THINK IT'S WORTH DOING. 45 00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:48,342 "FARM INCOME OR LOSS." 46 00:01:48,376 --> 00:01:51,712 SO DID OUR FARM SHOW A PROFIT LAST YEAR? 47 00:01:51,745 --> 00:01:53,547 NO. WHERE IS SCHEDULE F? 48 00:01:53,581 --> 00:01:54,748 WAIT, WAIT. WE DIDN'T HAVE A FARM LAST YEAR. 49 00:01:54,782 --> 00:01:56,049 WE LOST THE FARM! 50 00:01:56,083 --> 00:01:58,419 NO! 51 00:01:58,452 --> 00:02:00,654 LINE 14. "OTHER GAINS OR LOSSES." 52 00:02:00,688 --> 00:02:01,455 I GAINED 2 POUNDS. 53 00:02:01,489 --> 00:02:02,656 I LOST MY VIRGINITY. 54 00:02:02,690 --> 00:02:05,259 HEY. 55 00:02:05,293 --> 00:02:06,294 THERE'S YOUR OPPORTUNITY 56 00:02:06,327 --> 00:02:09,197 FOR THAT FREQUENT SEX THING GOING TO THROW IN. 57 00:02:09,230 --> 00:02:11,899 "ENTER ITEMIZED DEDUCTIONS FROM PAGE 3, SCHEDULE C, LINE 2, 58 00:02:11,932 --> 00:02:15,603 TO THE EXTENT THEY ARE ALLOWABLE ON SCHEDULE A, FORM 1040-NR." 59 00:02:15,636 --> 00:02:18,239 "ENTER THE LARGER OF YOUR ITEMIZED DEDUCTIONS 60 00:02:18,272 --> 00:02:24,011 FROM LINE 28 OR STANDARD DEDUCTION SHOWN ON THE LEFT." 61 00:02:24,044 --> 00:02:26,146 MY LEFT OR ITS LEFT? 62 00:02:27,915 --> 00:02:30,551 "SEE PAGE 30 TO FIND YOUR STANDARD DEDUCTION 63 00:02:30,584 --> 00:02:35,189 "IF YOU CHECKED ANY BOX ON LINE 35-A OR 35-B 64 00:02:35,223 --> 00:02:38,926 OR IF SOMEONE CAN CLAIM YOU AS A DEPENDENT." 65 00:02:45,266 --> 00:02:48,101 I'M TELLING YOU, THERE IS NO SCHEDULE P! 66 00:02:48,135 --> 00:02:50,003 THERE HAS TO BE, DAMN IT! 67 00:02:50,037 --> 00:02:51,239 I DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS! 68 00:02:51,272 --> 00:02:52,806 I'M A SUPERIOR BEING. 69 00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:55,309 I CAN CALCULATE THE DECAYING ORBIT OF A DYING MOON 70 00:02:55,343 --> 00:02:56,510 TO WITHIN 1/10 OF AN INCH. 71 00:02:56,544 --> 00:03:00,281 WHY CAN'T I CALCULATE THE SUBTOTAL OF LINE 59-A? 72 00:03:00,314 --> 00:03:02,650 WHY CAN'T I FIND LINE 59-A? 73 00:03:02,683 --> 00:03:05,319 WHERE THE HELL IS LINE 59-A?! 74 00:03:05,353 --> 00:03:06,720 I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE! 75 00:03:06,754 --> 00:03:08,756 I HATE IT! I HATE IT! 76 00:03:08,789 --> 00:03:10,824 I HATE IT! I HATE IT! 77 00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:20,534 OH, HERE IT IS. 78 00:03:20,568 --> 00:03:22,270 EVERYBODY JUST SETTLE DOWN. 79 00:03:59,940 --> 00:04:04,111 OK, YOU ADD LINES 41 THROUGH 47. 80 00:04:04,144 --> 00:04:06,079 OH, YES, MARY. 81 00:04:06,113 --> 00:04:08,482 YOU ARE THE SEXIEST ACCOUNTANT IN TOWN. 82 00:04:08,516 --> 00:04:09,650 YEAH. 83 00:04:09,683 --> 00:04:10,951 JUST A MINUTE, DICK. I'M NOT QUITE DONE. 84 00:04:10,984 --> 00:04:13,120 OH, THAT'S IT MARY. CRUNCH THOSE NUMBERS. 85 00:04:13,153 --> 00:04:15,623 CRUNCH 'EM GOOD. 86 00:04:15,656 --> 00:04:18,025 SO YOU SUBTRACT LINE 64 87 00:04:18,058 --> 00:04:19,259 FROM 56... 88 00:04:19,293 --> 00:04:21,629 YES. NOW DEDUCT MY PANTS. 89 00:04:23,864 --> 00:04:25,999 DICK, I THINK YOU'RE GONNA WANT TO KEEP YOUR PANTS ON. 90 00:04:26,033 --> 00:04:27,067 WHY IS THAT? 91 00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:30,170 BECAUSE YOU'RE ABOUT TO LOSE YOUR SHIRT. 92 00:04:30,203 --> 00:04:31,038 AND SO ARE YOU. 93 00:04:31,071 --> 00:04:35,343 YOU OWE $9,500! 94 00:04:35,376 --> 00:04:36,810 WHAT?! 95 00:04:36,844 --> 00:04:38,579 YOU BITCH! 96 00:04:41,214 --> 00:04:43,784 YOU DIDN'T PAY ANY TAXES. WHAT DID YOU EXPECT? 97 00:04:43,817 --> 00:04:45,486 WELL, I CERTAINLY DIDN'T EXPECT MY GIRLFRIEND 98 00:04:45,519 --> 00:04:47,755 TO WEAR MY ASS AS A SNOWSHOE! 99 00:04:51,725 --> 00:04:54,862 $9,500? 100 00:04:54,895 --> 00:04:55,896 OH, MY GOD! 101 00:04:55,929 --> 00:04:58,231 YOU GUYS, WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO? 102 00:04:58,265 --> 00:05:00,834 LOOK AT ALL THESE RECEIPTS FROM ALL THESE MEALS. 103 00:05:00,868 --> 00:05:03,136 IF WE'D ONLY TALKED ABOUT BUSINESS DURING SOME OF THEM, 104 00:05:03,170 --> 00:05:05,539 WE COULD WRITE OFF ALL THIS MONEY AS DEDUCTIONS. 105 00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:13,547 WHO SAYS WE DIDN'T... 106 00:05:13,581 --> 00:05:16,316 TALK ABOUT BUSINESS? 107 00:05:16,350 --> 00:05:18,819 YES. 108 00:05:18,852 --> 00:05:20,087 'CAUSE THAT'S THE ONLY REASON 109 00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:21,889 WE EVER GO OUT TO EAT, ANYWAY, RIGHT, 110 00:05:21,922 --> 00:05:23,323 IS TO TALK... 111 00:05:23,357 --> 00:05:26,560 ABOUT...BUSINESS. 112 00:05:26,594 --> 00:05:28,261 BUSINESS. 113 00:05:30,130 --> 00:05:31,432 OK, I MUST TUNE OUT, 114 00:05:31,465 --> 00:05:34,735 BECAUSE I NEVER HEAR US TALKING ABOUT BUSINESS. 115 00:05:37,304 --> 00:05:38,639 YES. 116 00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:40,708 WE CAN LIE 117 00:05:40,741 --> 00:05:45,212 ON OUR TAXES. 118 00:05:45,245 --> 00:05:46,780 I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT NO HUMAN 119 00:05:46,814 --> 00:05:49,282 HAS EVER THOUGHT OF THIS BEFORE. 120 00:05:49,316 --> 00:05:51,585 OK, WAIT A SECOND, YOU GUYS. WHAT IF WE GET CAUGHT? 121 00:05:51,619 --> 00:05:53,454 HOW CAN WE GET CAUGHT? 122 00:05:53,487 --> 00:05:55,188 ALL THOSE OTHER DOPES OUT THERE 123 00:05:55,222 --> 00:05:58,225 ARE TELLING THE TRUTH ABOUT THEIR TAXES. 124 00:05:58,258 --> 00:06:00,594 THEY'RE JUST GOING TO ASSUME THAT... 125 00:06:00,628 --> 00:06:02,996 WE ARE, TOO. 126 00:06:03,030 --> 00:06:03,597 HEY, CHECK THIS OUT. 127 00:06:03,631 --> 00:06:04,498 YOU CAN GET A DEDUCTION 128 00:06:04,532 --> 00:06:05,966 FOR HAVING A HOME BUSINESS. 129 00:06:05,999 --> 00:06:07,367 REALLY? 130 00:06:07,401 --> 00:06:08,235 THEN IT'S A GOOD THING 131 00:06:08,268 --> 00:06:12,205 THAT YOU RUN ONE HERE, SALLY. 132 00:06:12,239 --> 00:06:14,207 YES, DICK, 133 00:06:14,241 --> 00:06:16,977 IT SURE IS. 134 00:06:17,010 --> 00:06:18,078 IS THIS THE BUSINESS 135 00:06:18,111 --> 00:06:21,014 THAT I NEVER HEAR YOU GUYS TALKING ABOUT? 136 00:06:22,349 --> 00:06:23,984 OH, AND LOOK AT THIS. 137 00:06:24,017 --> 00:06:27,488 HERE'S A RECEIPT FOR $14.99. 138 00:06:27,521 --> 00:06:29,356 OR IS IT... 139 00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:35,162 $114.99? 140 00:06:35,195 --> 00:06:37,364 OR IS IT... 141 00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:41,101 $1,114.99? 142 00:06:41,134 --> 00:06:42,636 WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. YOU THINK THEY'LL BUY THAT? 143 00:06:42,670 --> 00:06:46,139 I MEAN, THAT'S A LOT OF MONEY. FOR A PENCIL SHARPENER. 144 00:06:46,173 --> 00:06:48,241 SIMPLE. 145 00:06:48,275 --> 00:06:51,945 WE JUST CROSS OUT "PENCIL SHARPENER"... 146 00:06:51,979 --> 00:06:55,015 AND WRITE IN... 147 00:06:55,048 --> 00:06:58,452 "AIRPLANE." 148 00:06:58,486 --> 00:07:00,187 IT'S BRILLIANT! 149 00:07:04,324 --> 00:07:05,358 WELL... 150 00:07:05,392 --> 00:07:07,294 HERE IS OUR HOME BUSINESS. 151 00:07:07,327 --> 00:07:08,161 THANKS, DUBIE. 152 00:07:08,195 --> 00:07:10,197 WHAT, WE'RE SELLING CHAIRS? 153 00:07:10,230 --> 00:07:12,332 NO, HON. IT'S A SALON CHAIR. 154 00:07:12,365 --> 00:07:14,535 WE PUT UP A SIGN, TAKE A FEW PICTURES. 155 00:07:14,568 --> 00:07:16,003 ANYBODY ASKS, 156 00:07:16,036 --> 00:07:17,671 IT WAS A FAILED HOME BUSINESS. 157 00:07:17,705 --> 00:07:19,439 DEDUCTION CITY. 158 00:07:19,473 --> 00:07:21,875 YOU KNOW, THERE'S A FUNNY STORY ABOUT HOW I GOT THAT CHAIR. 159 00:07:21,909 --> 00:07:25,045 HEARD IT! HEARD IT! 160 00:07:25,078 --> 00:07:27,481 I GOT YOUR SIGN, SALLY. 161 00:07:27,515 --> 00:07:29,950 GREAT! IT LOOKS LIKE A REAL BUSINESS. 162 00:07:29,983 --> 00:07:31,985 YOU PUT IT UP OUTSIDE, OK? 163 00:07:32,019 --> 00:07:33,587 OK, EVERYBODY, I'VE GOT IT. 164 00:07:33,621 --> 00:07:35,388 I PLAYED WITH THE NUMBERS A BIT, 165 00:07:35,422 --> 00:07:38,391 ENTERED A FEW HARMLESS CLERICAL MISTAKES, AND GUESS WHAT. 166 00:07:38,425 --> 00:07:39,727 THE GOVERNMENT NOW OWES US 167 00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:42,830 $375,000! 168 00:07:42,863 --> 00:07:43,764 OH, YEAH! 169 00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:45,098 Tommy: WHO NEEDS ED McMAHON? 170 00:07:45,132 --> 00:07:47,267 WE'VE GOT UNCLE SAM! 171 00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:49,302 THIS IS REALLY WORKING OUT GREAT FOR US. 172 00:07:49,336 --> 00:07:51,238 IF WE KEEP DOING OUR TAXES LIKE THIS, 173 00:07:51,271 --> 00:07:54,107 IN A FEW YEARS, WE'LL BE MILLIONAIRES. 174 00:07:54,141 --> 00:07:56,176 YOU KNOW, I ONCE HAD A MILLIONAIRE-- 175 00:07:56,209 --> 00:07:57,711 HEARD IT! HEARD IT! HEARD IT! 176 00:07:57,745 --> 00:07:59,212 EXCUSE ME. 177 00:07:59,246 --> 00:08:03,717 IS THIS SALLY'S ACTUAL SALON? 178 00:08:03,751 --> 00:08:06,453 UH, YEAH. 179 00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:09,289 WELL, GOOD! I COULD REALLY USE A CUT. 180 00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:16,196 OH, OK, I GUESS. SURE. 181 00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:35,482 Mary: GO ON. GIVE IT TO HIM. 182 00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:36,650 WHY SHOULD I? 183 00:08:36,684 --> 00:08:37,618 WELL, YOU'RE MY ASSISTANT. 184 00:08:37,651 --> 00:08:38,686 NOW GIVE IT TO HIM. 185 00:08:38,719 --> 00:08:40,854 YOU GIVE IT TO HIM. YOU'RE SLEEPING WITH HIM. 186 00:08:40,888 --> 00:08:42,055 WELL, YOU CAN SLEEP WITH HIM. 187 00:08:42,089 --> 00:08:43,456 YOU'RE NUTS. I'M NOT GONNA DO IT. 188 00:08:43,490 --> 00:08:45,425 NO, JUST GIVE IT! JUST GIVE-- 189 00:08:45,458 --> 00:08:47,460 CAN I PLAY? 190 00:08:47,494 --> 00:08:49,296 UNLESS THE RULES ARE VERY COMPLICATED. 191 00:08:49,329 --> 00:08:52,399 THEN I'LL JUST SIT IT OUT. 192 00:08:52,432 --> 00:08:53,400 YOU GOT A LETTER. 193 00:08:53,433 --> 00:08:54,201 REALLY? 194 00:08:54,234 --> 00:08:55,502 FROM THE I.R.S. 195 00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:57,738 OH, GREAT! 196 00:08:57,771 --> 00:08:59,940 IT'S PROBABLY MY CHECK. 197 00:08:59,973 --> 00:09:02,009 I TOOK A SECOND PASS ON MY RETURN, 198 00:09:02,042 --> 00:09:04,244 AND IT TURNS OUT I DON'T OWE ANYTHING. 199 00:09:04,277 --> 00:09:05,813 IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE A CHECK. 200 00:09:05,846 --> 00:09:07,147 IT CAN'T BE A BIRTHDAY CARD. 201 00:09:07,180 --> 00:09:09,382 MY BIRTHDAY ISN'T FOR MONTHS, AND-- 202 00:09:09,416 --> 00:09:12,352 "NOTICE OF AUDIT"? 203 00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:14,154 WHAT'S AN AUDIT? 204 00:09:14,187 --> 00:09:16,323 YOU ARE SO SCREWED. 205 00:09:19,593 --> 00:09:21,762 MARY, SHE'S SCARING ME. 206 00:09:21,795 --> 00:09:23,631 DICK, SIT DOWN. WE HAVE TO TALK. 207 00:09:23,664 --> 00:09:25,265 CAN'T IT WAIT TILL AFTER MY AUDIT? 208 00:09:25,298 --> 00:09:27,234 EVERYTHING IS GONNA BE FINE. 209 00:09:27,267 --> 00:09:28,268 YOU JUST HAVE TO TELL THE TRUTH. 210 00:09:28,301 --> 00:09:30,303 IT'S NOT AS IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO HIDE, RIGHT? 211 00:09:30,337 --> 00:09:33,173 HIDE? NO. I HAVE NOTHING TO HIDE. WHY WOULD I HIDE? 212 00:09:33,206 --> 00:09:34,374 THAT'S GOOD, 213 00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:36,744 BECAUSE THEY'RE GONNA BE ALL OVER YOU. 214 00:09:36,777 --> 00:09:40,247 THEY'RE GONNA DIG INTO EVERY ASPECT OF YOUR LIFE. 215 00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:43,483 FIND OUT EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU. 216 00:09:43,516 --> 00:09:44,885 EVERYTHING? 217 00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:46,687 THEY CAN BE PRETTY BRUTAL. 218 00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:48,088 OH...THAT'S INTERESTING. 219 00:09:48,121 --> 00:09:49,823 N-NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, 220 00:09:49,857 --> 00:09:52,893 I--I--I HAVE TO, UH, NNNNNNNN... 221 00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:54,294 YAAH! 222 00:09:59,900 --> 00:10:00,734 OK, NELLIE, 223 00:10:00,768 --> 00:10:02,102 WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO IS WE'RE JUST GONNA 224 00:10:02,135 --> 00:10:03,136 GIVE YOU A LITTLE BANGS 225 00:10:03,170 --> 00:10:05,673 TO COVER UP THESE TINY LITTLE WORRY LINES. 226 00:10:05,706 --> 00:10:07,240 THEN WE'RE GONNA EVENTUALLY 227 00:10:07,274 --> 00:10:10,377 GRADUATE THE SIDES IN LIKE THAT. 228 00:10:10,410 --> 00:10:12,012 HOW'S THAT SOUND TO YA? 229 00:10:12,045 --> 00:10:12,746 I DON'T KNOW. 230 00:10:12,780 --> 00:10:14,748 OH, TRUST US, DARLING. 231 00:10:14,782 --> 00:10:16,449 WE'RE JUST TRYING TO GIVE YOU A LITTLE SHAPE. 232 00:10:16,483 --> 00:10:19,319 I MEAN, YOU HAVE A LOVELY NECK HERE AND NO ONE CAN SEE IT. 233 00:10:21,221 --> 00:10:22,756 OK, LET'S GET YOU WASHED. 234 00:10:22,790 --> 00:10:24,057 MR. HARRY! 235 00:10:24,091 --> 00:10:25,659 OK, HOLD ON, DOLL. 236 00:10:25,693 --> 00:10:28,595 I ONLY GOT 2 HANDS. 237 00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:30,731 COME ON. 238 00:10:30,764 --> 00:10:33,701 THAT'S THE STUFF. 239 00:10:33,734 --> 00:10:35,468 THERE YOU GO. 240 00:10:35,502 --> 00:10:36,469 FAMILY MEETING! 241 00:10:36,503 --> 00:10:37,938 FAMILY MEETING! 242 00:10:43,977 --> 00:10:44,544 WHO IS THIS? 243 00:10:44,577 --> 00:10:45,713 OH, THAT'S MY 4:00. 244 00:10:45,746 --> 00:10:47,580 YOU CAN GO SIT IN THE CHAIR, HON. TOMMY. 245 00:10:47,614 --> 00:10:48,749 WOULD YOU LIKE SOME MINERAL WATER 246 00:10:48,782 --> 00:10:49,616 WHILE YOU'RE WAITING? 247 00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:50,884 WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO RUN ALONG, DEAR? 248 00:10:50,918 --> 00:10:52,185 UM, WHERE SHOULD I GO-- 249 00:10:52,219 --> 00:10:55,155 GET OUT! 250 00:10:55,188 --> 00:10:56,056 OK, LISTEN UP. 251 00:10:56,089 --> 00:10:57,825 I'VE GOT HORRIBLE NEWS. 252 00:10:57,858 --> 00:10:59,659 WE'RE BEING AUDITED BY THE I.R.S. 253 00:10:59,693 --> 00:11:02,629 WHAT? DOES THAT MEAN WE DON'T GET THE $375,000? 254 00:11:02,662 --> 00:11:04,531 IT'S WORSE. AGENTS OF THE GOVERNMENT 255 00:11:04,564 --> 00:11:07,034 ARE GONNA GO THROUGH OUR LIVES WITH A FINE-TOOTH COMB. 256 00:11:07,067 --> 00:11:09,636 EVERY DETAIL OF OUR PAST EXAMINED UNDER A MICROSCOPE, 257 00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:11,371 FOR THE LAST 6 YEARS! 258 00:11:11,404 --> 00:11:13,640 SO? WE'VE ONLY BEEN ON THE PLANET FOR 3. 259 00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:15,508 THAT'S THE WHOLE PROBLEM. 260 00:11:15,542 --> 00:11:17,044 THE MORE THEY PROBE INTO OUR PAST, 261 00:11:17,077 --> 00:11:19,246 THE MORE THEY'LL FIND OUT WE DON'T HAVE ONE! 262 00:11:19,279 --> 00:11:23,416 BECAUSE WE'RE ALIENS. 263 00:11:23,450 --> 00:11:25,552 THAT IS THE CONCLUSION THEY WILL DRAW. 264 00:11:25,585 --> 00:11:27,687 [EXASPERATED MUTTERING] 265 00:11:27,721 --> 00:11:29,689 NOW, WE'VE ALL GOT TO HAVE DETAILED EXPLANATIONS 266 00:11:29,723 --> 00:11:32,392 FOR THE LAST 6 YEARS: WHERE WE'VE BEEN, WHAT WE'VE DONE, 267 00:11:32,425 --> 00:11:33,526 AND THE DOCUMENTATION TO PROVE IT. 268 00:11:33,560 --> 00:11:36,964 OH, I DID THAT, LIKE 3 YEARS AGO. 269 00:11:36,997 --> 00:11:37,630 YOU DID? 270 00:11:37,664 --> 00:11:39,399 YEAH. COMPLETE AND AIRTIGHT. 271 00:11:39,432 --> 00:11:43,670 I GAVE THEM TO YOU GUYS. WHAT'D YOU DO WITH THEM? 272 00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:48,341 [ALL MAKING EXCUSES AT ONCE] 273 00:11:48,375 --> 00:11:49,509 I'M SORRY. 274 00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:50,477 THAT'S JUST GREAT. 275 00:11:50,510 --> 00:11:51,211 YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES 276 00:11:51,244 --> 00:11:52,612 I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I BOTHER! 277 00:11:52,645 --> 00:11:54,714 YOU'RE JUST GONNA HAVE TO GO AND DO IT AGAIN. 278 00:11:54,748 --> 00:11:57,417 WE NEED FOOLPROOF BACKGROUNDS BY TOMORROW. NOW GET CRACKING! 279 00:11:57,450 --> 00:12:00,120 OH, AND, SALLY? BUMP YOUR 4:00. 280 00:12:00,153 --> 00:12:03,090 I'M NOT GONNA BATTLE FACELESS AND HOSTILE GOVERNMENT FORCES 281 00:12:03,123 --> 00:12:05,258 WITH THIS UNSIGHTLY FUZZ ON MY NECK. 282 00:12:13,100 --> 00:12:15,468 OH, HELLO, MARY. 283 00:12:15,502 --> 00:12:18,138 I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW LONG I'VE KNOWN YOU. 284 00:12:18,171 --> 00:12:21,274 10 LONG YEARS. 285 00:12:21,308 --> 00:12:23,710 IT'S MORE LIKE 3 YEARS. 286 00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:25,779 WELL, THEN YOU'D BE COMFORTABLE SAYING 287 00:12:25,813 --> 00:12:27,848 7 LONG YEARS. 288 00:12:27,881 --> 00:12:29,950 NO, IT'S 3 YEARS, DICK. 289 00:12:29,983 --> 00:12:31,084 SO I CAN SAFELY QUOTE YOU 290 00:12:31,118 --> 00:12:32,085 AS SAYING THAT YOU'VE KNOWN ME 291 00:12:32,119 --> 00:12:34,855 FOR 6 GOOD, VERIFIABLE YEARS, THEN? 292 00:12:34,888 --> 00:12:36,756 3. 293 00:12:36,790 --> 00:12:38,926 FAIR ENOUGH. 294 00:12:38,959 --> 00:12:41,494 BUT YOU ARE QUITE FAMILIAR WITH WHAT I WAS DOING 295 00:12:41,528 --> 00:12:42,996 IN THE 3 YEARS PRIOR TO THAT? 296 00:12:43,030 --> 00:12:45,532 YOU NEVER TOLD ME ANYTHING ABOUT YOUR LIFE 297 00:12:45,565 --> 00:12:47,034 BEFORE YOU STARTED WORKING HERE. 298 00:12:47,067 --> 00:12:49,870 YOU HEM, YOU HAW, YOU RUSH IN, YOU RUSH OUT. 299 00:12:49,903 --> 00:12:52,339 OH, LET'S NOT FORGET THE SPONTANEOUS LARYNGITIS. 300 00:12:52,372 --> 00:12:54,041 THAT WAS GOING AROUND. 301 00:12:54,074 --> 00:12:55,542 HOW ABOUT THE TRUTH, DICK? 302 00:12:55,575 --> 00:12:57,244 TOMMY'S COMING UP WITH THE TRUTH RIGHT NOW, 303 00:12:57,277 --> 00:13:00,280 BUT IN THE MEANTIME... 304 00:13:00,313 --> 00:13:01,882 I'M GOING TO NEED YOU TO PLAY BALL. 305 00:13:01,915 --> 00:13:04,217 OH, NO. YOU'RE NOT GONNA DRAG ME INTO THIS. 306 00:13:04,251 --> 00:13:06,854 DRAG YOU INTO THIS? THIS WHOLE THING IS YOUR FAULT! 307 00:13:06,887 --> 00:13:09,522 IF IT WEREN'T FOR YOU, I NEVER WOULD HAVE FILED MY DAMN TAX RETURN 308 00:13:09,556 --> 00:13:11,291 IN THE FIRST PLACE! 309 00:13:11,324 --> 00:13:13,260 WELL, IF YOU HADN'T FUDGED WITH MY NUMBERS, 310 00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:14,527 YOU WOULDN'T BE IN THIS SITUATION. 311 00:13:14,561 --> 00:13:17,397 JUST REMEMBER THIS. IF I GO DOWN, YOU'RE COMING DOWN WITH ME! 312 00:13:17,430 --> 00:13:20,533 I HOPE YOU BURN IN HELL, MARY ALBRIGHT! 313 00:13:26,739 --> 00:13:29,476 OK, THAT LAST BIT WAS A LITTLE HARSH. 314 00:13:29,509 --> 00:13:33,046 BUT IT'S BEEN BUILDING UP FOR 8 LONG YEARS. 315 00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:34,614 3. 316 00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:35,815 DAMN! 317 00:13:37,851 --> 00:13:38,818 HOW'S THAT FEEL? 318 00:13:38,852 --> 00:13:39,786 OH--OH, THAT'S HOT. 319 00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:41,922 GOOD. GOOD, GOOD. 320 00:13:41,955 --> 00:13:43,090 NO! 321 00:13:43,123 --> 00:13:44,791 IT IS THE TRUTH, I AM TELLING YOU. 322 00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:46,726 OH, I'VE GOT ANOTHER CLIENT--TOP-SECRET-- 323 00:13:46,759 --> 00:13:49,596 I CANNOT TELL YOU WHO IT IS. 324 00:13:49,629 --> 00:13:51,965 BUT SHE'S HAD HER NOSE DONE 3 TIMES, 325 00:13:51,999 --> 00:13:54,734 AND SHE'S STILL NOT HAPPY. 326 00:13:54,767 --> 00:13:56,469 IS IT MAGGIE WRIGHT? 327 00:13:56,503 --> 00:13:58,605 YEAH. 328 00:13:58,638 --> 00:14:00,640 BUT I TOLD HER, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. 329 00:14:00,673 --> 00:14:02,575 I THINK SHE LOOKS LIKE A WITCH. 330 00:14:02,609 --> 00:14:05,712 OHH! YOU! 331 00:14:05,745 --> 00:14:07,214 HARRY, SALLY, CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A MINUTE? 332 00:14:07,247 --> 00:14:09,216 OH, SORRY, HON, WE'RE COMPLETELY BOOKED. 333 00:14:09,249 --> 00:14:10,884 YEAH. MAYBE WE CAN FIT YOU IN TOMORROW AROUND-- 334 00:14:10,918 --> 00:14:12,185 NOW! 335 00:14:12,219 --> 00:14:13,820 NOW! 336 00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:17,257 OK. I GOT YOUR NEW BIOGRAPHIES DONE. 337 00:14:17,290 --> 00:14:19,259 YOU HAVE TO HAVE THEM MEMORIZED BY TOMORROW. 338 00:14:19,292 --> 00:14:20,928 ALL RIGHT, SALLY. 339 00:14:20,961 --> 00:14:24,631 FROM 1992 TO 1994 YOU WERE AN UNPAID DOCENT 340 00:14:24,664 --> 00:14:29,569 AT THE MUSEUM OF CHIPPEWA HERITAGE. 341 00:14:29,602 --> 00:14:31,871 NO, NO, NO, NO. 342 00:14:31,905 --> 00:14:33,606 IN A COMA? 343 00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:36,643 MM... 344 00:14:36,676 --> 00:14:39,279 NO, NO, NO, NO, MISS THING. I DON'T THINK SO. 345 00:14:41,114 --> 00:14:43,050 OK, YOU KNOW WHAT? I JUST SPENT 2 DAYS 346 00:14:43,083 --> 00:14:44,651 DOCUMENTING AND FALSIFYING THESE COVERS, 347 00:14:44,684 --> 00:14:47,154 BUT YOU GO IN THERE TOMORROW AND SAY WHATEVER YOU WANT! 348 00:14:47,187 --> 00:14:49,122 IT'S YOUR ALIEN AUTOPSY, OK? 349 00:14:54,761 --> 00:14:57,464 ALL RIGHT, LET'S FOCUS AND GO OVER IT ONCE AGAIN. 350 00:14:57,497 --> 00:15:00,567 BEFORE WE MOVED HERE ON JANUARY 9, 1996, 351 00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:02,602 WHERE DID WE LIVE...SALLY? 352 00:15:02,635 --> 00:15:07,540 2740 VERNON PLACE, STEWART, FLORIDA, SIR! 353 00:15:07,574 --> 00:15:10,277 AND FLORIDA WOULD BE ON WHAT, NEPTUNE? 354 00:15:10,310 --> 00:15:11,544 NO! EARTH, SIR! 355 00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:13,280 THAT'S GOOD. 356 00:15:13,313 --> 00:15:15,682 AND DURING OUR TIME IN FLORIDA, WAS I EVER GAINFULLY EMPLOYED? 357 00:15:15,715 --> 00:15:17,484 NO, YOU WERE NOT! SO HOW DID WE LIVE? 358 00:15:17,517 --> 00:15:18,585 BY OUR WITS, SIR! 359 00:15:18,618 --> 00:15:19,886 GOOD. 360 00:15:21,821 --> 00:15:24,557 OH, BY THE WAY, ARE WE FROM A DISTANT GALAXY? YOU. 361 00:15:29,997 --> 00:15:34,534 NO... 362 00:15:34,567 --> 00:15:36,403 ARE YOU SURE? 363 00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:39,739 [MOUTHING SILENTLY] 364 00:15:39,772 --> 00:15:40,807 YES, SIR! 365 00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:42,942 OK. 366 00:15:42,976 --> 00:15:44,311 NOW LET'S GO OVER OUR RETURN. 367 00:15:44,344 --> 00:15:47,314 YOU, YOUNG MAN. HOW COULD THIS FAMILY HAVE LIVED FOR 3 YEARS 368 00:15:47,347 --> 00:15:48,681 WITH NO VISIBLE INCOME? 369 00:15:48,715 --> 00:15:50,017 HOW MANY CANS? WE COLLECTED CANS. 370 00:15:50,050 --> 00:15:52,219 123,450 CANS. 371 00:15:52,252 --> 00:15:53,486 AND YOU DIDN'T REPORT THAT INCOME? 372 00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:55,588 THE INCOME WAS $6,217, 373 00:15:55,622 --> 00:15:57,624 WHICH FALLS WELL BELOW FEDERAL LIMITS FOR FILING. 374 00:15:57,657 --> 00:15:58,591 YOUR NUMBERS DON'T ADD UP! 375 00:15:58,625 --> 00:15:59,993 WE TURNED IN 30% OF THOSE CANS 376 00:16:00,027 --> 00:16:02,429 IN MICHIGAN WHERE IT'S 5 CENTS A CAN, SIR! 377 00:16:07,667 --> 00:16:10,837 OH, YEAH? 378 00:16:10,870 --> 00:16:12,172 IN MICHIGAN, EH? 379 00:16:12,205 --> 00:16:15,542 WHERE I WAS IN A COMA! 380 00:16:20,213 --> 00:16:21,548 SIR! 381 00:16:26,319 --> 00:16:27,420 NOW, MR. SOLOMON, 382 00:16:27,454 --> 00:16:31,091 THERE ARE SOME IRREGULARITIES HERE ON YOUR TAX RETURN. 383 00:16:31,124 --> 00:16:32,625 I MUST SAY, I WAS SURPRISED 384 00:16:32,659 --> 00:16:34,027 BY SOME OF THESE NUMBERS-- 385 00:16:34,061 --> 00:16:36,296 WELL, THEN, LET'S GO OVER THEM, MR. GINDEK. 386 00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:38,365 I'VE GOT NOTHING TO HIDE. 387 00:16:38,398 --> 00:16:40,500 ME NEITHER. 388 00:16:40,533 --> 00:16:42,835 NOR I. 389 00:16:42,869 --> 00:16:43,836 WE'RE READY TO TALK. 390 00:16:43,870 --> 00:16:45,272 YEAH. 391 00:16:45,305 --> 00:16:46,139 YES. 392 00:16:46,173 --> 00:16:47,940 NOW, HERE ON SCHEDULE E-- 393 00:16:47,974 --> 00:16:49,842 SCHEDULE E. 394 00:16:49,876 --> 00:16:50,877 YEAH, I REMEMBER THE FIRST TIME 395 00:16:50,910 --> 00:16:53,246 I SAW SCHEDULE E. 396 00:16:53,280 --> 00:16:55,082 IT WAS AROUND 1992. 397 00:16:55,115 --> 00:16:55,948 DO YOU REMEMBER THAT? 398 00:16:55,982 --> 00:16:58,818 OH, YEAH. OH, INCREDIBLE. WHAT A DAY. 399 00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:00,520 I WAS, UH, RIGHT HERE ON EARTH, 400 00:17:00,553 --> 00:17:03,390 AS CARBON BASED AS THE NEXT GUY. 401 00:17:06,326 --> 00:17:08,461 YOU CLAIM A $16,000-- 402 00:17:08,495 --> 00:17:10,163 OH, GOSH! 403 00:17:10,197 --> 00:17:13,266 YOU GUYS REMEMBER MARCH 20, 1994? 404 00:17:13,300 --> 00:17:14,134 LIKE IT WAS YESTERDAY. 405 00:17:14,167 --> 00:17:16,069 REMEMBER THAT STEAKHOUSE WE WENT TO? 406 00:17:16,103 --> 00:17:17,270 OHH, YES. 407 00:17:17,304 --> 00:17:20,240 I HAD THE PORTERHOUSE-- NO, NO, NO-- 408 00:17:20,273 --> 00:17:21,208 I HAD THE FLANK. 409 00:17:21,241 --> 00:17:22,509 NO, DICK. I HAD THE FLANK. 410 00:17:22,542 --> 00:17:23,743 ARE YOU SURE? 'CAUSE I'M ALMOST POSITIVE I HAD THE FLANK. 411 00:17:23,776 --> 00:17:25,312 NO, 'CAUSE I ALWAYS GET THE FLANK. 412 00:17:25,345 --> 00:17:27,814 [ARGUING] 413 00:17:27,847 --> 00:17:29,282 MAYBE YOU BOTH HAD THE FLANK! 414 00:17:32,419 --> 00:17:33,120 YES. 415 00:17:33,153 --> 00:17:35,522 THERE'S NO LAW AGAINST... 416 00:17:35,555 --> 00:17:38,925 2 PEOPLE HAVING THE FLANK. 417 00:17:38,958 --> 00:17:40,193 THERE'S CERTAINLY NOTHING... 418 00:17:40,227 --> 00:17:42,229 ALIEN ABOUT IT. 419 00:17:42,262 --> 00:17:43,296 HA HA HA HA! 420 00:17:43,330 --> 00:17:44,864 THE--HE-- 421 00:17:44,897 --> 00:17:45,932 HA HA HA HA! 422 00:17:45,965 --> 00:17:48,268 I'VE JUST... GOT TO GRAB SOMETHING OFF THE PRINTER. 423 00:17:56,476 --> 00:17:57,677 OH, MY GOD! DO YOU THINK HE KNOWS? 424 00:17:57,710 --> 00:17:58,411 HE DEFINITELY KNOWS! 425 00:17:58,445 --> 00:18:01,013 IT WAS YOU WITH THE FLANK STEAK! 426 00:18:01,047 --> 00:18:02,882 THIS IS WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO. 427 00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:05,352 WHEN HE COMES BACK IN, I BREAK HIS NECK. 428 00:18:05,385 --> 00:18:06,453 THEN WE MAKE OUR ESCAPE, 429 00:18:06,486 --> 00:18:08,821 AND I SNAP EVERYONE'S NECK FROM HERE TILL WE GET HOME. 430 00:18:08,855 --> 00:18:13,693 THERE'S NO WAY THEY'LL CATCH US! 431 00:18:13,726 --> 00:18:16,163 LET'S CALL THAT PLAN B. 432 00:18:16,196 --> 00:18:19,366 QUICK, LET'S BUY SOME TIME BY BARRICADING THE DOOR. 433 00:18:19,399 --> 00:18:20,800 JUST PUSH THE DESK OVER AGAINST THE DOOR. 434 00:18:20,833 --> 00:18:24,337 THAT'S RIGHT. PUSH IT. 435 00:18:24,371 --> 00:18:25,905 I CAN'T SEE HIM. 436 00:18:32,345 --> 00:18:34,981 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 437 00:18:36,916 --> 00:18:39,719 UH... 438 00:18:39,752 --> 00:18:40,987 IT... 439 00:18:41,020 --> 00:18:45,325 IT JUST-- IT JUST SLID RIGHT OVER. 440 00:18:45,358 --> 00:18:49,095 DO YOUR REALIZE THIS WHOLE FLOOR IS SLANTED? 441 00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:51,398 LOOK, I THINK I SEE WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO DO, 442 00:18:51,431 --> 00:18:54,901 AND...FRANKLY, IT'S NOT GOING TO WORK. 443 00:18:54,934 --> 00:18:55,735 ALL RIGHT! 444 00:18:55,768 --> 00:18:58,371 IT'S TIME TO COME CLEAN. 445 00:18:58,405 --> 00:19:01,874 THE REASON WHY WE HAVEN'T BEEN FILING RETURNS IS... 446 00:19:01,908 --> 00:19:02,842 WE WERE KIDNAPPED. 447 00:19:02,875 --> 00:19:03,976 THAT'S RIGHT! 448 00:19:04,010 --> 00:19:05,278 YEAH! YEAH! 449 00:19:05,312 --> 00:19:09,148 AND THEY SAID IF WE FILED OUR TAXES... 450 00:19:09,182 --> 00:19:11,651 THEY'D KILL US! 451 00:19:11,684 --> 00:19:13,686 OH, REALLY? 452 00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:14,621 NO! 453 00:19:14,654 --> 00:19:16,055 UH, NO. 454 00:19:16,088 --> 00:19:18,258 TO BE HONEST, WE WERE IN THE WITNESS PROTECTION PROGRAM, 455 00:19:18,291 --> 00:19:20,260 AND THEY WERE VERY BAD ABOUT FORWARDING OUR MAIL. 456 00:19:21,994 --> 00:19:24,063 I DON'T THINK SO. 457 00:19:24,096 --> 00:19:27,166 OK. HOW ABOUT THIS? 458 00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:28,268 WE'VE SPEND THE LAST 4 YEARS 459 00:19:28,301 --> 00:19:31,404 LIVING IN THE CANADIAN ROCKIES WITH A PACK OF WOLVES! 460 00:19:31,438 --> 00:19:32,272 A PACK OF WOLVES. 461 00:19:32,305 --> 00:19:36,008 YES. I WAS THE ALPHA DOG. 462 00:19:36,042 --> 00:19:38,378 MR. SOLOMON, WHY DON'T YOU JUST COOPERATE? 463 00:19:38,411 --> 00:19:41,348 YOU'RE ONLY MAKING THINGS HARDER. 464 00:19:41,381 --> 00:19:42,482 ALL RIGHT. 465 00:19:45,151 --> 00:19:48,555 ALL RIGHT, YOU'VE CAUGHT US. 466 00:19:48,588 --> 00:19:52,559 WE ARE ALIENS. 467 00:19:52,592 --> 00:19:56,329 WE CAME HERE FROM A BARRED SPIRAL GALAXY... 468 00:19:56,363 --> 00:20:00,199 IN THE CEPHEUS DRACO BORDER TERRITORY... 469 00:20:00,233 --> 00:20:03,603 IN ORDER TO STUDY YOUR SPECIES. 470 00:20:03,636 --> 00:20:07,674 I ONLY ASK THAT YOU TAKE INTO ACCOUNT OUR GOOD INTENTIONS 471 00:20:07,707 --> 00:20:12,379 BEFORE YOU CALL IN YOUR SCIENTISTS... 472 00:20:12,412 --> 00:20:14,247 TO DISSECT US. 473 00:20:18,217 --> 00:20:20,987 SORRY, FOLKS. I'VE HEARD THAT ONE BEFORE, TOO. 474 00:20:24,691 --> 00:20:30,297 MR. SOLOMON, YOU OWE $16,143 IN BACK TAXES. 475 00:20:30,330 --> 00:20:31,998 YAY! YES! YES! 476 00:20:34,166 --> 00:20:36,202 MR. GINDEK! AAH! MR. GINDEK! 477 00:20:36,235 --> 00:20:37,169 THANK YOU! THANK YOU! 478 00:20:40,707 --> 00:20:42,241 WELL, WE STILL HAVE A LOT TO LEARN. 479 00:20:42,275 --> 00:20:44,010 COULD YOU IMAGINE A REAL HUMAN BEING 480 00:20:44,043 --> 00:20:45,978 AFRAID OF A TAX AUDIT? 481 00:20:46,012 --> 00:20:47,447 HA HA! I KNOW. 482 00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:49,215 ALTHOUGH I DO FEEL A LITTLE MORE HUMAN 483 00:20:49,248 --> 00:20:52,552 NOW THAT WE'VE BEEN REAMED BY THE I.R.S. 484 00:20:52,585 --> 00:20:54,186 I THINK "REAMED" IS AN UNDERSTATEMENT. 485 00:20:54,220 --> 00:20:56,923 YEAH. WE'RE PAYING TAXES FOR YEARS WE WEREN'T EVEN ON THE PLANET. 486 00:20:56,956 --> 00:20:59,626 YEAH, WELL, LUCKILY, MY BUSINESS IS BOOMING. 487 00:20:59,659 --> 00:21:02,662 HEY, MR. HARRY, HOW MANY APPOINTMENTS FOR TOMORROW? 488 00:21:02,695 --> 00:21:05,097 LET'S SEE. UH... 489 00:21:05,131 --> 00:21:06,899 NONE. 490 00:21:06,933 --> 00:21:07,967 WHAT?! 491 00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:10,269 IN ALL FAIRNESS, SALLY, YOU HAVE TERRIBLE HAIRCUTS. 492 00:21:10,303 --> 00:21:12,305 OH, RIGHT. I FORGOT. 493 00:21:12,339 --> 00:21:13,172 HEY, BY THE WAY, 494 00:21:13,205 --> 00:21:14,941 DID YOU GUYS SEE DUBCEK'S FACE 495 00:21:14,974 --> 00:21:17,310 WHEN SHE CAME OUT OF THE DRYER? 496 00:21:17,344 --> 00:21:26,986 ERRR! IS THIS WHAT I PAID FOR? 497 00:21:27,019 --> 00:21:30,022 SALLY, I HAD NO IDEA YOU'D GONE TO BEAUTY SCHOOL. 498 00:21:30,056 --> 00:21:31,524 OH, SURE. 499 00:21:31,558 --> 00:21:34,961 BACK IN '92-- REMEMBER '92, TOMMY? 500 00:21:34,994 --> 00:21:37,930 SURE. 1992. THE YEAR WE DANCED 501 00:21:37,964 --> 00:21:39,332 TO THE MUSIC OF VANILLA ICE, 502 00:21:39,366 --> 00:21:41,634 AND SCENT OF A WOMAN INTRODUCED AMERICA 503 00:21:41,668 --> 00:21:44,170 TO A YOUNG HEARTTHROB NAMED CHRIS O'DONNELL. 504 00:21:44,203 --> 00:21:46,305 OH, HOW'S THAT FEEL? OW! 505 00:21:46,339 --> 00:21:46,906 IT HURT. 506 00:21:46,939 --> 00:21:47,940 OH, GOOD. GOOD. 507 00:21:47,974 --> 00:21:50,677 OW! OW! OW! 508 00:21:50,710 --> 00:21:53,112 OW! OW! OW! 34579

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