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1
00:00:07,308 --> 00:00:09,277
BYE, DICK!
I'LL SEE YOU
AT THE OFFICE.
2
00:00:09,310 --> 00:00:13,514
MARY, DON'T LEAVE.
I WAS BRINGING YOU
BREAKFAST IN BED.
3
00:00:13,547 --> 00:00:15,583
THAT'S VERY SWEET,
BUT I THINK
I'LL JUST GRAB
4
00:00:15,616 --> 00:00:17,085
SOME COFFEE
AND A MUFFIN.
5
00:00:17,118 --> 00:00:18,652
OH, THAT'S OK.
BELIEVE IT OR NOT,
6
00:00:18,686 --> 00:00:21,455
I JUST THREW
ALL THIS TOGETHER.
7
00:00:21,489 --> 00:00:23,023
I NEVER WOULD'VE
GUESSED.
8
00:00:26,694 --> 00:00:27,561
HEY, DICK.
9
00:00:27,595 --> 00:00:28,896
OH, YOU TWO ARE UP
BRIGHT AND EARLY.
10
00:00:28,929 --> 00:00:30,131
WE JUST GOT BACK.
11
00:00:30,164 --> 00:00:32,466
DON TOOK ME ON
AN ALL-NIGHT
STAKEOUT.
12
00:00:32,500 --> 00:00:33,634
YOU MUST BE
EXHAUSTED.
13
00:00:33,667 --> 00:00:35,569
NO. WE FELL ASLEEP
AROUND 11:00.
14
00:00:35,603 --> 00:00:38,272
YEAH.
15
00:00:38,306 --> 00:00:40,374
I'M REASONABLY SURE
NOTHING WENT DOWN,
THOUGH.
16
00:00:40,408 --> 00:00:42,776
I'M A PRETTY LIGHT
SLEEPER.
17
00:00:42,810 --> 00:00:44,745
I JUST LOVE
SPENDING THE NIGHT
IN YOUR ARMS.
18
00:00:44,778 --> 00:00:46,147
OH, ME, TOO.
19
00:00:52,220 --> 00:00:54,155
HEY, I GOTTA GO
HIT THE CAN.
20
00:00:55,756 --> 00:00:58,526
TOMMY, AM I A VIRGO
OR A CAPRICORN?
21
00:00:58,559 --> 00:00:59,627
I DON'T KNOW.
WHAT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY?
22
00:00:59,660 --> 00:01:01,895
DOES IT MATTER?
23
00:01:01,929 --> 00:01:04,132
BECAUSE THIS HOROSCOPE
RIGHT HEEERRRRE--
24
00:01:04,165 --> 00:01:06,367
INCOMING MESSAGE FROM
THE BIG GIANT HEAD!
25
00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:07,668
HEY, DICK,
GET IN HERE!
26
00:01:07,701 --> 00:01:09,637
TO ENSURE BETTER
CUSTOMER SERVICE,
27
00:01:09,670 --> 00:01:11,805
THIS TRANSMISSION
MAY BE MONITORED.
28
00:01:11,839 --> 00:01:14,242
WHAT IS IT?
THE BIG GIANT HEAD
29
00:01:14,275 --> 00:01:18,312
HAS RECEIVED
YOUR LIEUTENANT'S REQUEST
FOR GENDER REASSIGNMENT.
30
00:01:18,346 --> 00:01:21,215
SALLY SENT THAT THING
OFF, LIKE, 3 YEARS
AGO.
31
00:01:21,249 --> 00:01:24,485
THE BIG GIANT HEAD
HEREBY APPROVES
YOUR REQUEST.
32
00:01:24,518 --> 00:01:26,854
FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE,
YOUR LIEUTENANT'S BODY
33
00:01:26,887 --> 00:01:29,323
WILL BE SWITCHED
WITH THAT OF YOUR
HIGH COMMANDER.
34
00:01:29,357 --> 00:01:30,724
LIEUTENANT,
YOU GET IN HERE!
35
00:01:30,758 --> 00:01:34,128
PREPARE TO EXCHANGE FORMS
IN 3, 2, 1...
36
00:01:34,162 --> 00:01:35,796
ACHOO!
ACHOO!
ACHOO!
37
00:01:38,932 --> 00:01:41,034
OH, NO...
38
00:01:41,068 --> 00:01:42,603
WHERE ARE MY BOOBS?
39
00:01:44,638 --> 00:01:47,107
I'VE GOT THEM!
40
00:01:47,141 --> 00:01:48,075
YOU'RE ME!
YOU'RE ME!
41
00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:48,976
DICK?
WHAT?
42
00:01:49,009 --> 00:01:50,878
AAH!
OH, GREAT.
WHAT HAPPENED?
43
00:01:50,911 --> 00:01:53,414
THE BIG GIANT HEAD
JUST SWITCHED
THEIR BODIES.
44
00:01:53,447 --> 00:01:55,216
WOW.
45
00:01:55,249 --> 00:01:59,052
OH, MY GOD!
46
00:01:59,086 --> 00:02:01,088
I'M GORGEOUS!
47
00:02:05,226 --> 00:02:06,427
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
CARSEY-WERNER PRODUCTIONS
48
00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:08,696
AND THE NATIONAL BROADCASTING
COMPANY
49
00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:41,895
YOUR REQUEST TO RETURN
TO YOUR ORIGINAL EARTH BODIES
50
00:02:41,929 --> 00:02:45,333
WILL BE ANSWERED IN
THE ORDER IN WHICH
IT WAS RECEIVED.
51
00:02:45,366 --> 00:02:49,136
TRANSMISSION ENDING
IN 3, 2, 1...
52
00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:51,439
ACHOO!
53
00:02:51,472 --> 00:02:52,273
WHAT'S THE WORD?
54
00:02:52,306 --> 00:02:54,442
HE PUT US ON
THE WAITING LIST.
55
00:02:54,475 --> 00:02:55,476
DAMN!
56
00:02:55,509 --> 00:02:58,279
MAN, IT TOOK HIM
3 YEARS TO ANSWER
THE FIRST ONE.
57
00:02:58,312 --> 00:03:01,715
THIS IS HORRIBLE,
JUST HORRIBLE!
58
00:03:01,749 --> 00:03:03,050
WHY, IN HEAVEN'S NAME,
59
00:03:03,083 --> 00:03:05,052
WOULD YOU PUT IN
A REQUEST TO
SWITCH BODIES?
60
00:03:05,085 --> 00:03:06,420
LIEUTENANT, WHAT
WERE YOU THINKING?
61
00:03:06,454 --> 00:03:09,089
WHEN WE FIRST GOT HERE,
I DIDN'T WANT TO BE
THE WOMAN,
62
00:03:09,122 --> 00:03:10,224
BUT THAT WAS
A LONG TIME AGO
63
00:03:10,258 --> 00:03:14,061
BEFORE I REALIZED
HOW MUCH I LIKE MEN.
64
00:03:14,094 --> 00:03:16,129
WELL, I CANNOT BE STUCK
IN A WOMAN'S BODY.
65
00:03:16,163 --> 00:03:18,632
DAMMIT! I'M
THE HIGH COMMANDER!
66
00:03:18,666 --> 00:03:21,569
[CRYING] WHAT ARE WE
GONNA DO, DICK?
67
00:03:21,602 --> 00:03:23,771
PULL YOURSELF
TOGETHER, MAN!
68
00:03:23,804 --> 00:03:25,406
I'LL TELL YOU
WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO.
69
00:03:25,439 --> 00:03:26,840
WE'RE GONNA LIVE
EACH OTHER'S LIVES
70
00:03:26,874 --> 00:03:28,175
AS NORMALLY
AS POSSIBLE
71
00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:29,743
UNTIL
THE BIG GIANT HEAD
GETS BACK TO US.
72
00:03:29,777 --> 00:03:32,045
OH, GREAT!
73
00:03:32,079 --> 00:03:33,781
OHH!
74
00:03:37,718 --> 00:03:39,753
WHAT AM I SUPPOSED
TO DO WITH YOUR...
75
00:03:39,787 --> 00:03:42,456
YOU KNOW, GOODS?
76
00:03:42,490 --> 00:03:43,824
JUST PICK A SIDE
AND COMMIT.
77
00:03:43,857 --> 00:03:46,159
YUP. TILL YOU LEARN
THE INS AND OUTS,
78
00:03:46,193 --> 00:03:48,729
YOU MIGHT WANNA CONSIDER
WEARING A CUP.
79
00:03:48,762 --> 00:03:49,897
THIS IS SO WEIRD.
80
00:03:49,930 --> 00:03:51,532
OH,
STOP COMPLAINING.
81
00:03:51,565 --> 00:03:52,900
LOOK AT THESE
WILLOWY LIMBS.
82
00:03:52,933 --> 00:03:53,834
I DON'T KNOW WHAT
TO DO WITH THEM.
83
00:03:53,867 --> 00:03:55,969
MY CENTER
OF GRAVITY'S
SO LOW,
84
00:03:56,003 --> 00:03:57,971
AND WOULD YOU LOOK
AT THESE BREASTS!
85
00:03:58,005 --> 00:03:59,873
HEY, DICK,
CAN WE TOUCH 'EM?
86
00:03:59,907 --> 00:04:01,675
BE MY GUEST.
THEY'RE NOT MINE.
87
00:04:01,709 --> 00:04:03,210
HEY!
88
00:04:07,948 --> 00:04:11,184
SO HELP ME GOD,
IF YOU TOUCH THOSE,
YOU WILL DIE.
89
00:04:16,990 --> 00:04:18,359
ALL RIGHT,
SETTLE DOWN, SETTLE DOWN.
90
00:04:18,392 --> 00:04:20,461
[CHATTER CONTINUES]
91
00:04:20,494 --> 00:04:21,862
ALL RIGHT,
EVERYBODY SHUT UP
92
00:04:21,895 --> 00:04:23,697
BEFORE I THROW YOU OUT
THE FREAKIN' WINDOW!
93
00:04:27,067 --> 00:04:28,636
SO, WHAT ARE
WE DOING HERE?
94
00:04:28,669 --> 00:04:30,671
SURFACE TENSION
AND LIQUIDITY.
95
00:04:30,704 --> 00:04:31,439
I HAVE A QUESTION
FOR YOU--
96
00:04:31,472 --> 00:04:33,907
WHERE'D YOU GET
THOSE SHOES?
97
00:04:33,941 --> 00:04:34,875
PICK-AND-PAY.
98
00:04:34,908 --> 00:04:37,978
OH, I LOVE THAT PLACE.
IT'S SO COOL!
99
00:04:38,011 --> 00:04:40,881
HAS ANYBODY ELSE HERE
BEEN TO PIC-AND-PAY?
IT'S SO AWESOME.
100
00:04:40,914 --> 00:04:43,116
YEAH. I GOT
SOME WOOL PANTS
THERE, HALF OFF.
101
00:04:43,150 --> 00:04:45,886
YOU DID?
YEAH, BUT THEY
WEREN'T MY SIZE,
102
00:04:45,919 --> 00:04:50,223
AND THEY DIDN'T
HAVE A LINING, AND I'M
WEARING THEM RIGHT NOW.
103
00:04:50,257 --> 00:04:51,925
SEE WHAT I MEAN?
104
00:04:51,959 --> 00:04:54,728
OK...SO, UH...
WE GOT, UH...
105
00:04:54,762 --> 00:05:01,301
VALUE...AND...
SELECTION.
106
00:05:01,335 --> 00:05:03,036
THIS IS WHAT WE'RE
LOOKING FOR HERE.
107
00:05:07,341 --> 00:05:10,077
WELL, I'M OFF
TO CABO SAN LUCAS.
108
00:05:10,110 --> 00:05:11,845
YOU HAVE FUN, DOUG,
109
00:05:11,879 --> 00:05:12,946
AND DON'T YOU WORRY
ABOUT NOTHIN'
110
00:05:12,980 --> 00:05:16,249
BUT THE SEÑORITAS
AND THE MARGARITAS, OK?
111
00:05:16,283 --> 00:05:19,152
BECAUSE HARRY'S
HOLDING DOWN THE FORT.
112
00:05:19,186 --> 00:05:20,788
WHAT THE HELL.
113
00:05:22,756 --> 00:05:24,392
YOU'RE IN CHARGE
OF THE BAR.
YUP.
114
00:05:24,425 --> 00:05:26,927
DOUG'S NOT
TOO BRIGHT, IS HE?
NOT PARTICULARLY, NO.
115
00:05:32,966 --> 00:05:35,636
MAN, THOSE GUYS
LOOK LIKE BADASSES.
116
00:05:35,669 --> 00:05:36,470
YOU THINK?
117
00:05:36,504 --> 00:05:37,438
YEAH. LOOK
AT 'EM, MAN.
118
00:05:37,471 --> 00:05:40,974
THEY ARE CLEARLY
BAD ASSES.
119
00:05:41,008 --> 00:05:43,477
WELL, JUST ONE WAY
TO FIND OUT.
120
00:05:46,013 --> 00:05:50,984
EXCUSE ME, ARE YOU
AND YOUR FRIENDS
HERE BADASSES?
121
00:05:51,018 --> 00:05:53,387
HEH HEH HEH...
WE'LL HAVE 3 BEERS.
122
00:05:53,421 --> 00:05:55,456
HA HA HA!
123
00:05:55,489 --> 00:05:57,758
OH, MAN,
THEY'RE BADASSES.
124
00:05:59,059 --> 00:06:00,694
[HONK HONK]
125
00:06:00,728 --> 00:06:05,399
OH, YES, THE HONKING
DRIVES ME MAD
WITH DESIRE!
126
00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:09,503
AH, YOU'VE NOTICED
I HAVE BREASTS.
GOOD FOR YOU.
127
00:06:13,807 --> 00:06:16,276
DON LEFT THIS
IN OUR BATHROOM.
128
00:06:16,309 --> 00:06:18,211
HEY, SALLY,
YOU LOOK NICE.
129
00:06:18,245 --> 00:06:22,182
WHY, THANK YOU.
YOU'VE GOT ME
ALL HOT NOW.
130
00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:23,584
I'D JUMP RIGHT INTO BED
WITH YOU,
131
00:06:23,617 --> 00:06:25,586
BUT YOU'LL
HAVE TO GET IN LINE BEHIND
2 CONSTRUCTION WORKERS,
132
00:06:25,619 --> 00:06:29,523
A MAILMAN,
AND A 12-YEAR-OLD BOY.
133
00:06:29,557 --> 00:06:30,624
SORRY.
134
00:06:30,658 --> 00:06:32,826
SALLY, HE WAS
JUST PAYING YOU AN
INNOCENT COMPLIMENT.
135
00:06:32,860 --> 00:06:35,062
I'M QUITE AWARE
OF HOW SEXUALLY
ATTRACTIVE I AM.
136
00:06:35,095 --> 00:06:37,030
I GET IT.
NOW LET'S MOVE ON.
137
00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:38,766
SALLY, PLEASE,
CALM DOWN.
138
00:06:38,799 --> 00:06:43,170
WHAT IS THAT,
SOME SORT OF
MENSTRUATION CRACK?
139
00:06:43,203 --> 00:06:46,707
WELL, I'VE GOT
A NEWS FLASH FOR
YOU, DON ORVILLE,
140
00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:48,976
AND FOR ALL THE MEN
OF RUTHERFORD.
141
00:06:49,009 --> 00:06:53,814
BENEATH THIS PRETTY PACKAGE
IS A MIND!
142
00:06:53,847 --> 00:06:56,550
DO YOU HEAR ME?
A MIND!
143
00:06:59,820 --> 00:07:02,656
OH, HEY, NINA.
144
00:07:02,690 --> 00:07:04,324
YOU WENT TO
PIC-AND-PAY?
145
00:07:04,357 --> 00:07:06,727
YEAH.
146
00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:10,230
I COULDN'T FIND
ANYTHING EXCEPT
THESE STUPID WINGTIPS.
147
00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:11,565
THEY'RE NOT EVEN
PATENT LEATHER.
148
00:07:11,599 --> 00:07:15,335
MEN'S SHOES SUCK!
149
00:07:15,368 --> 00:07:16,870
WELL, THAT'S TOO BAD.
150
00:07:16,904 --> 00:07:19,973
MY FEET ARE HUGE.
I'M DISGUSTING.
151
00:07:21,174 --> 00:07:22,610
OK.
152
00:07:24,978 --> 00:07:26,614
THERE YOU ARE.
WHERE WERE YOU?
153
00:07:26,647 --> 00:07:27,848
OH, HEY, ALBRIGHT.
154
00:07:27,881 --> 00:07:30,183
YOU WERE SUPPOSED
TO MEET ME FOR LUNCH!
155
00:07:30,217 --> 00:07:34,321
I'M HAVING A BAD DAY.
YOU WANNA LAY OFF?!
156
00:07:34,354 --> 00:07:37,925
I WAS WAITING
AT THE BAGUETTE
FOR OVER AN HOUR.
157
00:07:37,958 --> 00:07:39,627
YEAH? WELL,
I WAS TEACHING
THAT HORRIBLE CLASS,
158
00:07:39,660 --> 00:07:42,730
AND I COULDN'T TAKE IT,
SO I WENT TO GET SOME SHOES,
159
00:07:42,763 --> 00:07:44,064
AND I COULDN'T FIND
ANYTHING I LIKED,
160
00:07:44,097 --> 00:07:50,403
[CRYING] AND THEN I
CAME BACK HERE, AND YOU
STARTED YELLING AT ME!
161
00:07:50,437 --> 00:07:53,140
I'M SORRY, DICK,
BUT I WAS WAITING
AN HOUR.
162
00:07:53,173 --> 00:07:54,808
I CAN'T BREATHE.
163
00:07:57,044 --> 00:07:58,178
ARE YOU OK?
164
00:07:58,211 --> 00:08:00,881
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
WHAT I'M GOING THROUGH.
165
00:08:00,914 --> 00:08:04,484
I MEAN,
JUST LOOK AT THESE!
166
00:08:04,518 --> 00:08:05,819
I'M HERE TO HELP.
167
00:08:05,853 --> 00:08:07,888
YOU CAN'T HELP.
NOBODY CAN HELP.
168
00:08:07,921 --> 00:08:09,923
I FEEL SO TRAPPED.
169
00:08:15,563 --> 00:08:19,032
[ LET'S HEAR IT FOR THE BOY
PLAYING]
170
00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:29,509
WHOO, SALLY...
LOOKIN' HOT, MAN!
171
00:08:29,543 --> 00:08:33,113
YEAH! WALK
THAT AROUND!
172
00:08:33,146 --> 00:08:36,850
LAY OFF, BUTTHEADS!
I'M HAVING A CRAPPY DAY.
173
00:08:36,884 --> 00:08:38,986
I CAN TAKE THE UGLY SHOES,
I CAN TAKE THE STUPID JOB,
174
00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:42,856
BUT I'LL BE DAMNED IF
I'M GONNA WALK AROUND
WITH LOVE HANDLES!
175
00:08:42,890 --> 00:08:44,692
ARE YOU WEARING
LIP GLOSS?
176
00:08:44,725 --> 00:08:49,062
IT'S NOT A GLOSS.
IT'S A SHINY BALM.
177
00:08:49,096 --> 00:08:50,964
DICK IS REALLY NEGLECTING
HIS LIPS.
178
00:08:56,704 --> 00:08:59,339
HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING
TO MY BODY, YOU MORON?
179
00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:02,409
YOU'RE GONNA GET IT
FAT AND STRETCHED OUT!
180
00:09:02,442 --> 00:09:04,377
LIEUTENANT,
I ALWAYS EAT THIS WAY.
181
00:09:04,411 --> 00:09:05,312
WELL, YOU
CAN'T ANYMORE.
182
00:09:05,345 --> 00:09:07,014
YOU'LL NEVER KEEP
A BOYFRIEND.
183
00:09:07,047 --> 00:09:09,082
AHA! SPEAKING
OF BOYFRIENDS--
184
00:09:09,116 --> 00:09:11,284
I'VE DECIDED THAT DON
IS NO GENTLEMAN.
185
00:09:11,318 --> 00:09:14,054
I THINK IT'S TIME
YOU MOVED ON.
186
00:09:14,087 --> 00:09:14,855
YOU BETTER
NOT MESS UP
187
00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:16,089
MY RELATIONSHIP
WITH DON.
188
00:09:16,123 --> 00:09:16,757
OH, PLEASE.
189
00:09:16,790 --> 00:09:19,192
OH, YOU ARE
SUCH A BONEHEAD!
190
00:09:19,226 --> 00:09:21,995
AFTER I TRIED SO HARD
NOT TO BLOW THINGS
WITH ALBRIGHT.
191
00:09:26,499 --> 00:09:30,303
"TRIED"?
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
WHAT HAPPENED?
192
00:09:30,337 --> 00:09:32,640
NOTHING.
193
00:09:32,673 --> 00:09:35,408
TELL ME, DAMMIT!
194
00:09:35,442 --> 00:09:36,576
WELL,
I GOT BUMMED OUT
195
00:09:36,610 --> 00:09:41,048
WHEN I COULDN'T FIND
NICE SHOES FOR YOUR
BIG, FAT FEET!
196
00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:44,017
AND I MAY HAVE
GOTTEN A LITTLE...
WEEPY.
197
00:09:44,051 --> 00:09:45,919
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
198
00:09:45,953 --> 00:09:49,990
NOW SHE THINKS
I'M SOME HYSTERICAL,
SHOE-LOVING WUSSY!
199
00:09:50,023 --> 00:09:52,325
YOU'RE WORRIED
ABOUT GETTING FAT?
JUST WATCH THIS.
200
00:09:52,359 --> 00:09:55,696
GIVE ME THAT SANDWICH,
YOU HORRIBLE MAN!
201
00:09:55,729 --> 00:09:58,231
HEY, HEY, HEY!
LET'S CHILL!
202
00:09:58,265 --> 00:09:59,599
HOW CAN I CHILL?
203
00:09:59,633 --> 00:10:01,268
HE'S SCREWING UP
EVERYTHING WITH DON!
204
00:10:01,301 --> 00:10:04,037
[MUFFLED] SHE'S SCREWING UP
MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MARY!
205
00:10:04,071 --> 00:10:07,641
OH, PEOPLE,
PEOPLE, PEOPLE!
206
00:10:07,675 --> 00:10:11,311
LOOK...YOU GUYS
HAVE GOT TO GET
OVER THIS!
207
00:10:11,344 --> 00:10:12,412
WHEN WE LANDED
ON EARTH,
208
00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:15,148
WE HAD NO ATTACHMENT
TO THESE BODIES,
BUT WE ADAPTED.
209
00:10:15,182 --> 00:10:16,750
WE FIGURED OUT HOW
TO WORK WITH THEM.
210
00:10:16,784 --> 00:10:18,118
YOU DON'T
UNDERSTAND,
TOMMY.
211
00:10:18,151 --> 00:10:21,121
I LIKE BEING
THE WOMAN.
212
00:10:21,154 --> 00:10:23,356
WHO CARES IF YOU
ONLY EARN 60 CENTS
ON THE DOLLAR
213
00:10:23,390 --> 00:10:26,894
IF YOU CAN HAVE
SKIN LIKE THAT?
214
00:10:26,927 --> 00:10:28,729
MARY DOESN'T LIKE
YOUR SKIN.
215
00:10:28,762 --> 00:10:31,098
SHE LIKES MY SKIN!
216
00:10:31,131 --> 00:10:33,033
NOW YOU LISTEN
TO ME, DICK--
217
00:10:33,066 --> 00:10:33,801
I'M SALLY!
218
00:10:33,834 --> 00:10:37,004
I DON'T GIVE A DAMN
WHO YOU ARE!
219
00:10:37,037 --> 00:10:38,471
IF YOU DON'T START
WORKING TOGETHER,
220
00:10:38,505 --> 00:10:40,674
YOU'RE GONNA LOSE
DON | MARY.
221
00:10:48,882 --> 00:10:50,583
YOU'RE RIGHT.
222
00:10:53,787 --> 00:10:56,389
TRUCE.
223
00:10:56,423 --> 00:10:57,725
ALL RIGHT,
TRUCE.
224
00:10:57,758 --> 00:11:00,227
THAT'S BETTER.
225
00:11:03,563 --> 00:11:05,398
NOT WITH
THAT SANDWICH,
YOU DON'T!
226
00:11:12,039 --> 00:11:12,706
WHERE ARE THEY?
227
00:11:12,740 --> 00:11:15,375
RIGHT THERE.
GO CUFF 'EM, DON.
228
00:11:15,408 --> 00:11:17,577
UH...WHAT FOR?
229
00:11:17,610 --> 00:11:20,480
THAT GUY OVER THERE,
HE KEEPS ORDERING DRINKS.
230
00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:22,182
AND TALKING.
231
00:11:22,215 --> 00:11:25,218
AND THAT OTHER GUY
KEEPS LAUGHING
AT SOMETHING.
232
00:11:25,252 --> 00:11:29,056
DRINKING, TALKING,
LAUGHING IN A BAR.
233
00:11:29,089 --> 00:11:30,057
NO LAW AGAINST THAT.
234
00:11:30,090 --> 00:11:32,425
HEY, WE PAY TAXES.
HOW LONG IS THIS
GONNA GO ON
235
00:11:32,459 --> 00:11:34,261
BEFORE THE POLICE
DO SOMETHING?
236
00:11:34,294 --> 00:11:35,262
THIS IS TYPICAL.
237
00:11:35,295 --> 00:11:40,400
WHY DON'T YOU JUST
GO EAT ANOTHER
DOUGHNUT, DON!
238
00:11:40,433 --> 00:11:43,136
I'D LIKE TO HELP
YOU OUT, GUYS, BUT...
239
00:11:43,170 --> 00:11:44,772
SALLY.
240
00:11:44,805 --> 00:11:46,206
DON.
241
00:11:46,239 --> 00:11:49,609
DICK!
242
00:11:49,642 --> 00:11:51,378
I'M GLAD YOU'RE
HERE, DON.
243
00:11:51,411 --> 00:11:53,380
I HAD TO TALK
TO YOU.
244
00:11:53,413 --> 00:11:55,482
IT'S ABOUT SALLY.
245
00:11:55,515 --> 00:11:56,349
THAT'S FINE, DICK,
246
00:11:56,383 --> 00:12:00,020
BUT COULD YOU BACK UP
ABOUT 4 INCHES?
247
00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:01,755
OH, YEAH, SORRY.
YOU WANNA SIT DOWN?
248
00:12:01,789 --> 00:12:03,056
YEAH, SURE.
249
00:12:09,930 --> 00:12:12,065
I'D LIKE TO
APOLOGIZE FOR SALLY
THE OTHER DAY.
250
00:12:12,099 --> 00:12:14,234
SHE JUST FEELS
TERRIBLE ABOUT
THE WAY SHE ACTED.
251
00:12:14,267 --> 00:12:15,869
YEAH, IT WAS STRANGE.
252
00:12:15,903 --> 00:12:17,938
SALLY REALLY WANTS
TO MAKE IT UP
TO YOU, DON.
253
00:12:17,971 --> 00:12:19,907
THAT'S WHY I'D
LIKE TO INVITE
YOU AND SALLY
254
00:12:19,940 --> 00:12:23,243
OUT TO DINNER WITH
ME AND MY GIRLFRIEND
ALBRIGHT.
255
00:12:23,276 --> 00:12:25,979
WOULD YOU COME, DON?
256
00:12:26,013 --> 00:12:27,180
WOULD YOU?
257
00:12:30,517 --> 00:12:31,518
SURE.
258
00:12:31,551 --> 00:12:33,520
OH, GOOD.
I WAS WORRIED YOU
WERE UPSET WITH ME.
259
00:12:33,553 --> 00:12:36,023
HEY, YOU WANNA
WATCH IT?!
EXCUSE ME.
260
00:12:36,056 --> 00:12:37,690
YEAH, YOU BETTER
EXCUSE YOU, BOZO!
261
00:12:37,724 --> 00:12:38,758
MY BOYFRIEND HERE'S
A COP.
262
00:12:38,792 --> 00:12:40,193
DICK!
263
00:12:44,031 --> 00:12:45,698
I SAID, MY SISTER'S
BOYFRIEND.
264
00:12:45,732 --> 00:12:47,835
I THINK
EVERYBODY HEARD THAT.
265
00:12:51,571 --> 00:12:53,206
SALLY, I THOUGHT
I HEARD YOU.
266
00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:55,275
MARY, YOU LOOK
PRETTY TODAY.
267
00:12:55,308 --> 00:12:56,543
OH, THANKS.
SO DO YOU.
268
00:12:56,576 --> 00:12:58,745
VERY PRETTY.
THANKS.
269
00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:02,049
LOOK, I TRIED
TO CALL DICK.
IS HE ALL RIGHT?
270
00:13:02,082 --> 00:13:04,751
THAT'S WHAT I CAME
HERE TO TALK TO YOU
ABOUT, MARY.
271
00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:07,220
UH, PLEASE,
SIT DOWN.
272
00:13:07,254 --> 00:13:09,389
DICK IS FINE.
I KNEW YOU THOUGHT
273
00:13:09,422 --> 00:13:12,259
HE WAS HAVING
A BREAKDOWN,
BUT HE WASN'T.
274
00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:14,694
HE JUST SEEMED
SO FRAGILE.
275
00:13:14,727 --> 00:13:15,929
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
276
00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:23,103
HE'S LETTING
YOU IN, MARY.
277
00:13:23,136 --> 00:13:25,572
THAT'S HIS WAY.
278
00:13:25,605 --> 00:13:27,975
OR PERHAPS IT WAS
PERFORMANCE ART.
279
00:13:28,008 --> 00:13:30,410
THAT'S ANOTHER
PERFECTLY REASONABLE
EXPLANATION.
280
00:13:33,380 --> 00:13:36,049
YEAH. UH, JUST--
281
00:13:36,083 --> 00:13:39,086
JUST TELL HIM THAT
HE CAN TALK TO ME.
282
00:13:39,119 --> 00:13:42,222
NO MATTER WHAT
IS BOTHERING HIM,
HE CAN TALK TO ME
283
00:13:42,255 --> 00:13:44,457
BECAUSE...
I LOVE HIM.
284
00:13:44,491 --> 00:13:48,461
OH!
285
00:13:48,495 --> 00:13:50,397
OH, MARY!
286
00:13:50,430 --> 00:13:53,166
SAY IT AGAIN.
287
00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:54,834
NO.
288
00:13:59,572 --> 00:14:02,309
HARRY, YOU BEEN
SHAKING THAT THING
FOR OVER AN HOUR.
289
00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:03,143
HAVE I?
290
00:14:03,176 --> 00:14:05,578
WHY DON'T YOU JUST
POUR IT ALREADY?
291
00:14:05,612 --> 00:14:09,182
'CAUSE IF I POUR IT,
I GOTS TO SERVE IT.
292
00:14:09,216 --> 00:14:10,984
WHAT ARE YOU
SO WORRIED ABOUT?
293
00:14:11,018 --> 00:14:14,254
THOSE GUYS?
DON'T LOOK
AT 'EM!
294
00:14:14,287 --> 00:14:17,958
YOU CAN'T
JUDGE PEOPLE BY
THE WAY THEY LOOK.
295
00:14:17,991 --> 00:14:22,029
THOSE GUYS
ARE JUST A BUNCH
OF PUSSYCATS.
296
00:14:22,062 --> 00:14:23,263
WATCH ME, BOYS.
297
00:14:23,296 --> 00:14:25,665
DON'T GO OVER THERE.
298
00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:29,369
HI, BOYS.
IS THIS SEAT TAKEN?
299
00:14:29,402 --> 00:14:30,603
IT IS NOW.
300
00:14:30,637 --> 00:14:34,975
OH...NOW, WHICH ONE
OF YOU BIG FELLAS IS
GONNA BUY ME A BEER?
301
00:14:35,008 --> 00:14:37,644
I WILL. HOW ABOUT A BEER
FOR THE PRETTY LADY?
302
00:14:37,677 --> 00:14:43,416
OH, YOU'RE WHAT
I LIKE TO CALL...
BURLY.
303
00:14:43,450 --> 00:14:45,852
LOOK AT HER.
SHE SURVIVED.
304
00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:47,854
THOSE GUYS
ARE NICE GUYS
AFTER ALL.
305
00:14:47,887 --> 00:14:49,689
MAN, WE'RE IDIOTS.
306
00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:54,027
OH, I FEEL TERRIBLE.
COME ON.
307
00:14:54,061 --> 00:14:57,697
GUYS, I THINK WE
OWE YOU AN APOLOGY.
308
00:14:57,730 --> 00:14:58,865
FOR WHAT?
309
00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:00,033
WELL, ALL THIS TIME,
310
00:15:00,067 --> 00:15:02,069
WE THOUGHT YOU WERE
UP TO NO GOOD.
311
00:15:02,102 --> 00:15:02,936
CRIMINAL TYPES.
312
00:15:02,970 --> 00:15:05,438
LOOKING FOR TROUBLE.
CASING THE JOINT...
313
00:15:05,472 --> 00:15:07,007
BUT NOW WE SEE
HOW WRONG WE WERE,
314
00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:10,643
SO HOW CAN WE MAKE
THIS UP TO YOU?
315
00:15:10,677 --> 00:15:12,980
WE NEED SOME
MORE PRETZELS.
OK.
316
00:15:13,013 --> 00:15:13,913
AND WHILE
YOU'RE AT IT,
317
00:15:13,947 --> 00:15:17,384
WHY DON'T YOU
EMPTY OUT THE
CASH REGISTER?
318
00:15:17,417 --> 00:15:21,288
NOW.
319
00:15:21,321 --> 00:15:24,691
YEAH!
YEAH!
320
00:15:24,724 --> 00:15:25,959
DID I NOT
TELL YOU?
321
00:15:25,993 --> 00:15:27,927
YOU DIDN'T NEED
TO TELL ME, MAN.
I KNEW!
322
00:15:27,961 --> 00:15:29,796
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
JUST A SECOND.
323
00:15:29,829 --> 00:15:30,897
WE SAW THIS COMING.
324
00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:32,332
MILES AWAY,
BROTHER!
325
00:15:32,365 --> 00:15:33,266
THE CASH
REGISTER.
326
00:15:33,300 --> 00:15:34,734
OH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
327
00:15:38,638 --> 00:15:40,873
SO, ALBRIGHT--
328
00:15:40,907 --> 00:15:43,443
MARY...WHAT'RE YOU
GONNA ORDER?
329
00:15:43,476 --> 00:15:46,646
WELL,
THE STEAK TARTARE
LOOKS GOOD.
330
00:15:46,679 --> 00:15:48,681
THINK I'LL ORDER IT
WELL DONE.
331
00:15:48,715 --> 00:15:50,050
HA HA HA HA!
332
00:15:50,083 --> 00:15:52,485
HA HA HA HA!
333
00:15:52,519 --> 00:15:55,055
OH, THAT'S FUNNY.
YOU'RE FUNNY.
334
00:15:55,088 --> 00:15:59,926
THAT'S REALLY
DESIRABLE IN A WOMAN.
CONGRATULATIONS.
335
00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:02,595
WELL, PARDON ME.
I'LL BE IN THE
LITTLE BOYS' ROOM.
336
00:16:02,629 --> 00:16:05,132
OH, I'LL GO WITH YOU!
THIS'LL BE FUN!
337
00:16:10,770 --> 00:16:12,672
ARE YOU SURE
YOUR BROTHER'S
ALL RIGHT?
338
00:16:12,705 --> 00:16:15,475
ALL RIGHT?
OH, MARY, HE'S GREAT.
339
00:16:15,508 --> 00:16:17,944
AND SO GOOD-LOOKING,
DON'T YOU THINK?
340
00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:19,946
WELL, HE DOES
SEEM TO BE IN
BETTER SPIRITS,
341
00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:23,416
BUT HE STILL SEEMS
SO DISTANT.
342
00:16:23,450 --> 00:16:26,119
HE DOESN'T LOOK
AT ME THE WAY
HE USED...TO.
343
00:16:29,289 --> 00:16:31,291
AND HOW DID HE
USED TO LOOK
AT YOU, MARY?
344
00:16:35,662 --> 00:16:37,897
KINDA LIKE YOU'RE
LOOKING AT ME NOW.
345
00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:42,335
TIME TO PUT OUT
THE FIRE.
346
00:16:55,982 --> 00:16:58,118
KEEP YOUR EYE ON
THE ROAD, DICK.
347
00:17:00,887 --> 00:17:02,155
SO WHAT'S
BOTHERING SALLY?
348
00:17:02,189 --> 00:17:04,191
IS SHE STILL
IN A MOOD?
349
00:17:04,224 --> 00:17:06,293
SHE LOOKS PRETTY HOT
TO ME.
350
00:17:06,326 --> 00:17:07,727
SHE ALWAYS
LOOKS HOT,
351
00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:10,330
BUT YOU SAID SHE
WAS INTERESTED IN
SEEING ME TONIGHT.
352
00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:13,600
SHE SEEMS
TO BE PAYING MORE
ATTENTION TO MARY.
353
00:17:13,633 --> 00:17:16,469
BUT YOU STILL LOVE HER...
RIGHT, DON?
354
00:17:16,503 --> 00:17:18,971
OF COURSE I DO.
I'M CRAZY ABOUT HER.
355
00:17:19,005 --> 00:17:20,140
AH...
356
00:17:20,173 --> 00:17:21,841
OH, GOODY.
357
00:17:30,950 --> 00:17:33,720
SALLY, WE'RE IN TROUBLE.
YOU'VE GOT TO KISS MARY.
358
00:17:33,753 --> 00:17:34,821
WHAT?
359
00:17:34,854 --> 00:17:36,289
SHE KNOWS
SOMETHING'S WRONG.
YOU'VE GOT TO KISS HER.
360
00:17:36,323 --> 00:17:37,357
NOT GONNA
HAPPEN, DICK.
361
00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:39,359
PUT ME DOWN FOR
A HUG AND A HANDSHAKE,
THAT'S IT.
362
00:17:39,392 --> 00:17:41,294
HEY, WE'RE IN
THIS TOGETHER.
363
00:17:41,328 --> 00:17:42,929
NOW, I WANT
YOUR LIPS ON
HER LIPS,
364
00:17:42,962 --> 00:17:45,632
AND THAT'S
AN ORDER,
LIEUTENANT!
365
00:17:45,665 --> 00:17:50,637
HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT
THAT DICK MIGHT BE
A LITTLE...CONFUSED?
366
00:17:50,670 --> 00:17:52,705
LET'S TALK ABOUT SALLY
FOR A MINUTE.
367
00:17:52,739 --> 00:17:54,807
SHE IS STALKING ME.
368
00:17:56,343 --> 00:17:59,679
SO, HOW'S
EVERYBODY DOING?
369
00:17:59,712 --> 00:18:02,582
GREAT. UH, NOW...
370
00:18:02,615 --> 00:18:06,085
YOU KNOW, MARY,
DICK WAS JUST SAYING
371
00:18:06,119 --> 00:18:09,389
HOW DIFFICULT IT
IS FOR HIM TO SIT
NEXT TO YOU
372
00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:12,024
WITHOUT SHOWERING YOU
WITH KISSES.
373
00:18:12,058 --> 00:18:14,761
NO, I WASN'T.
374
00:18:14,794 --> 00:18:17,197
YES, YOU WERE.
YOU WERE SAYING
HOW UNBEARABLE
375
00:18:17,230 --> 00:18:21,701
IT IS TO SIT NEXT TO HER
WITHOUT KISSING HER
THIS VERY MOMENT.
376
00:18:21,734 --> 00:18:23,870
REALLY?
YOU SAID THAT?
377
00:18:23,903 --> 00:18:26,473
WELL, YES,
AFTER SHE TOLD ME
378
00:18:26,506 --> 00:18:28,475
THAT IT'S TAKING
ALL HER STRENGTH
379
00:18:28,508 --> 00:18:31,978
TO KEEP HER LIPS...
OFF DON.
380
00:18:36,048 --> 00:18:39,952
ALL RIGHT...
I GUESS THAT'S FAIR.
381
00:19:00,607 --> 00:19:02,809
THAT'S MORE TONGUE
THAN I'M USED TO.
382
00:19:08,215 --> 00:19:10,082
WELL, DICK, WE
PULLED IT OFF.
383
00:19:10,116 --> 00:19:11,818
TO A JOB WELL DONE,
LIEUTENANT.
384
00:19:14,354 --> 00:19:17,023
AHH. SO, HOW'D YOU
GET OUT OF GOING
HOME WITH DON?
385
00:19:17,056 --> 00:19:18,691
I TOLD HIM I HAD
A HEADACHE.
386
00:19:18,725 --> 00:19:20,393
OH, THAT IS SO COOL.
387
00:19:20,427 --> 00:19:23,062
I TOLD ALBRIGHT
I HAD PSORIASIS.
388
00:19:25,532 --> 00:19:28,134
IF WE ARE DOOMED
TO STAY IN THESE BODIES
FOR A WHILE,
389
00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:31,404
I SUPPOSE
IT COULD BE WORSE.
390
00:19:31,438 --> 00:19:32,439
DON IS KIND OF CUDDLY.
391
00:19:32,472 --> 00:19:34,641
MM. AND MARY'S
MUTUAL FUNDS
392
00:19:34,674 --> 00:19:39,011
HAVE OUTPERFORMED
THE S&P FOR THE
LAST 4 QUARTERS.
393
00:19:39,045 --> 00:19:41,648
WELL, LET'S HAVE
A TOAST, SHALL WE?
394
00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:46,519
TO NEWWWWWW--
INCOMING MESSAGE FROM
THE BIG GIANT HEAD.
395
00:19:46,553 --> 00:19:48,621
YOUR REQUEST
HAS BEEN APPROVED.
396
00:19:48,655 --> 00:19:51,123
YOUR LIEUTENANT
AND HIGH COMMANDER
WILL BE RESTORED
397
00:19:51,157 --> 00:19:53,860
TO THEIR PREVIOUS
EARTH BODIES IMMEDIATELY,
398
00:19:53,893 --> 00:19:58,097
AND A SMALL FEE WILL APPEAR
ON YOUR NEXT STATEMENT.
399
00:19:58,130 --> 00:20:01,234
TRANSMISSION ENDING
IN 3, 2, 1...
400
00:20:01,268 --> 00:20:02,068
ACHOO!
ACHOO!
ACHOO!
401
00:20:09,376 --> 00:20:10,810
DICK?
402
00:20:10,843 --> 00:20:12,512
SALLY?
403
00:20:12,545 --> 00:20:14,881
WE'RE BACK!
WE'RE BACK!
404
00:20:16,916 --> 00:20:21,854
ISN'T THAT GREAT,
TOMMY?
405
00:20:21,888 --> 00:20:25,525
OH, ISN'T THAT
COOL, TOMMY?
406
00:20:25,558 --> 00:20:28,628
TOMMY?
I'M NOT TOMMY.
407
00:20:28,661 --> 00:20:31,331
OH, MY GOD!
408
00:20:31,364 --> 00:20:33,400
AH, I'M JUST
SCREWIN' WITH YOU.
409
00:20:38,505 --> 00:20:40,573
I LEARNED ONE THING
FROM THOSE TOUGH GUYS
AT THE BAR.
410
00:20:40,607 --> 00:20:42,975
YOU KNOW HOW THEY SAY
YOU CAN'T JUDGE A BOOK
BY ITS COVER?
411
00:20:43,009 --> 00:20:43,976
IT'S A BIG LIE.
412
00:20:44,010 --> 00:20:46,913
MM, TRUE. THAT'S
WHAT THE COVER'S FOR--
413
00:20:46,946 --> 00:20:48,548
TELLS YOU EXACTLY
WHAT'S IN THE BOOK.
414
00:20:48,581 --> 00:20:50,817
YEAH. FROM NOW ON,
I LOOK AT PEOPLE,
415
00:20:50,850 --> 00:20:53,019
MAKE SNAP JUDGMENTS,
AND STICK WITH 'EM.
416
00:20:53,052 --> 00:20:54,554
BUT IT'S NOT TRUE.
417
00:20:54,587 --> 00:20:57,690
I JUST SPENT 2 DAYS
IN SALLY'S BODY,
418
00:20:57,724 --> 00:20:59,258
AND PEOPLE MADE
ALL SORTS OF
ASSUMPTIONS
419
00:20:59,292 --> 00:21:00,593
BASED ON
HOW I LOOKED.
420
00:21:00,627 --> 00:21:02,395
AND IT WAS STILL
ME INSIDE.
421
00:21:02,429 --> 00:21:05,565
YEAH. WELL, THIS BODY
TOOK SOME GETTING
USED TO AT FIRST,
422
00:21:05,598 --> 00:21:07,634
BUT NOW IT FEELS
LIKE HOME.
423
00:21:07,667 --> 00:21:09,769
WELL, I'M GLAD TO BE
BACK IN MY BODY.
424
00:21:09,802 --> 00:21:12,071
AND YOU KNOW, SALLY,
I WAS MAD AT FIRST,
425
00:21:12,104 --> 00:21:14,974
BUT NOW I
REALLY DON'T MIND
THE SHAVED LEGS.
426
00:21:18,077 --> 00:21:19,812
YOU KNOW, I DID
YOUR BUTT, TOO.
427
00:21:19,846 --> 00:21:28,220
OH, DON'T THINK
I DIDN'T NOTICE.
428
00:21:28,254 --> 00:21:30,189
OH DICK, HAVE YOU SEEN
MY SWEATER?
429
00:21:30,222 --> 00:21:31,624
UH, NO
430
00:21:31,658 --> 00:21:33,893
IT'S THE PINK ONE WITH THE
LITTLE WHITE BOW.
431
00:21:33,926 --> 00:21:35,127
IT DOESN'T RING A BELL.
432
00:21:35,161 --> 00:21:36,596
WAIT A MINUTE
433
00:21:36,629 --> 00:21:37,564
OPEN YOUR COAT
434
00:21:37,597 --> 00:21:38,998
SALLY I DON'T HAVE TIME
FOR THIS NONSENSE
435
00:21:39,031 --> 00:21:41,100
I'VE GOT TO GET TO WORK
436
00:21:41,133 --> 00:21:43,035
AHA!
437
00:21:43,069 --> 00:21:45,505
WELL IT FEELS SO SOFT
AGAINST MY SKIN
438
00:21:45,538 --> 00:21:47,407
AND THEY DON'T MAKE
ANGORA FOR MEN
439
00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:48,908
BESIDES I LOOK MUCH
CUTER IN IT
440
00:21:48,941 --> 00:21:50,176
THAN YOU DO
441
00:21:50,209 --> 00:21:51,143
TAKE IT OFF
442
00:21:51,177 --> 00:21:52,545
I'LL GIVE YOU TEN BUCKS FOR IT
443
00:21:52,579 --> 00:21:53,946
TWENTY.
444
00:21:53,980 --> 00:21:55,014
DEAL,
31645
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