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1
00:00:07,841 --> 00:00:10,111
NINA, I STILL
DON'T GET IT.
2
00:00:10,144 --> 00:00:12,012
WHICH ONE IS BABY SPICE?
3
00:00:12,046 --> 00:00:14,882
OH, SHE'S THE ONE
THAT GOES LIKE THIS.
4
00:00:17,585 --> 00:00:18,786
MARY!
5
00:00:18,819 --> 00:00:19,753
DADDY!
6
00:00:19,787 --> 00:00:20,588
HEY, MAGPIE.
7
00:00:20,621 --> 00:00:23,324
HA HA HA! OH...
OH.
8
00:00:23,357 --> 00:00:24,758
WHAT A NICE SURPRISE!
9
00:00:24,792 --> 00:00:28,462
WELL, NOT REALLY.
I'VE LEFT YOUR MOTHER.
10
00:00:28,496 --> 00:00:29,163
AGAIN?
11
00:00:29,197 --> 00:00:30,398
OH, I'M SO SORRY.
12
00:00:30,431 --> 00:00:32,032
LET ME GIVE YOU TWO
SOME TIME ALONE.
13
00:00:32,066 --> 00:00:33,534
OH, THAT'S NOT NECESSARY.
14
00:00:33,567 --> 00:00:36,036
THEY DO THIS EVERY YEAR.
15
00:00:36,070 --> 00:00:40,208
I KNOW. I JUST CAN'T
BEAR TO HEAR IT AGAIN.
BUH-BYE.
16
00:00:40,241 --> 00:00:42,443
SO HOW LONG
IS THIS FIGHT
GOING TO LAST?
17
00:00:42,476 --> 00:00:44,545
OH, THIS
WAS A BAD ONE, MARY.
18
00:00:44,578 --> 00:00:46,314
I BROKE HER
SOUND OF MUSIC BOX.
19
00:00:46,347 --> 00:00:47,181
OH, NO!
20
00:00:47,215 --> 00:00:48,349
YEP.
21
00:00:48,382 --> 00:00:50,784
YOUR MOTHER AND I ARE THROUGH!
22
00:00:50,818 --> 00:00:53,221
45 YEARS DOWN THE TOILET.
23
00:00:53,254 --> 00:00:55,256
YOU STILL GOT THAT HIDE-A-BED
IN THE LIVING ROOM?
24
00:00:55,289 --> 00:00:56,023
YES.
25
00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:59,427
AND YOU DON'T MIND
SLEEPING ON IT?
26
00:00:59,460 --> 00:01:01,695
NOT REALLY. NO.
27
00:01:01,729 --> 00:01:02,430
GOOD MORNING, MARY.
28
00:01:02,463 --> 00:01:03,464
OH, GOOD MORNING,
DICK.
29
00:01:03,497 --> 00:01:04,332
GOOD MORNING, DICK.
30
00:01:04,365 --> 00:01:05,166
GOOD MORNING, GEORGE.
31
00:01:05,199 --> 00:01:06,467
AAH!
32
00:01:06,500 --> 00:01:07,901
WHAT?
33
00:01:07,935 --> 00:01:10,003
IF HE'S HERE, THAT MEANS
THE OTHER ONE'S HERE, TOO,
34
00:01:10,037 --> 00:01:13,574
AND--AND SHE SCARES ME.
35
00:01:13,607 --> 00:01:16,210
NO, DICK.
DADDY'S HERE ALONE.
36
00:01:16,244 --> 00:01:17,511
[WHISPERING]
He left Mother.
37
00:01:17,545 --> 00:01:18,612
OH...
38
00:01:18,646 --> 00:01:20,114
FINALLY.
39
00:01:55,916 --> 00:01:57,551
[DOORBELL RINGS]
40
00:01:57,585 --> 00:01:59,420
I'LL GET IT!
41
00:02:01,589 --> 00:02:02,656
HELLO, SOLOMONS.
42
00:02:02,690 --> 00:02:03,724
HELLO, GEORGE!
43
00:02:03,757 --> 00:02:05,559
UH, THIS
IS MY BROTHER HARRY.
44
00:02:05,593 --> 00:02:07,728
CHARMED, I'M SURE.
45
00:02:07,761 --> 00:02:09,563
AND THIS
IS MY SON TOMMY.
46
00:02:09,597 --> 00:02:11,599
HEY, THERE, SPORT!
47
00:02:11,632 --> 00:02:13,734
HEY!
CUT IT OUT!
48
00:02:13,767 --> 00:02:15,369
HE STARTED IT!
49
00:02:15,403 --> 00:02:17,305
IT'S ALL RIGHT.
50
00:02:17,338 --> 00:02:19,673
I LEFT MYSELF WIDE OPEN.
51
00:02:19,707 --> 00:02:20,508
COME ON IN.
52
00:02:20,541 --> 00:02:21,475
ALL RIGHT, THEN.
53
00:02:21,509 --> 00:02:22,776
I'M SORRY.
HI. I'M SALLY.
54
00:02:22,810 --> 00:02:24,345
HI. LET ME TAKE
YOUR COAT, YOUNG LADY.
55
00:02:24,378 --> 00:02:26,780
OH, THANK YOU.
56
00:02:26,814 --> 00:02:28,282
YOU KNOW...
57
00:02:28,316 --> 00:02:32,386
YOU REMIND ME OF A GAL
NAMED BETTY GRABLE,
58
00:02:32,420 --> 00:02:34,788
BUT I BET SHE
WAS BEFORE YOUR TIME.
59
00:02:34,822 --> 00:02:38,426
YEAH, I'VE ONLY BEEN HERE
A COUPLE YEARS.
60
00:02:38,459 --> 00:02:40,294
SIT DOWN AND LET ME
FIX YOU A DRINK.
61
00:02:40,328 --> 00:02:41,462
GREAT. I'LL HAVE A BEER.
62
00:02:41,495 --> 00:02:43,030
A BEER?
63
00:02:43,063 --> 00:02:44,998
A BEER'S NO DRINK
FOR A LADY.
64
00:02:45,032 --> 00:02:47,635
LET ME MAKE YOU
A LADY'S DRINK.
65
00:02:48,302 --> 00:02:49,803
YEAH.
66
00:02:51,239 --> 00:02:53,274
A LADY'S DRINK.
67
00:02:59,847 --> 00:03:01,114
I LIKE THIS SCOTCH.
68
00:03:01,148 --> 00:03:04,218
YEAH. SO DOES
EVERYBODY ELSE.
69
00:03:04,252 --> 00:03:06,520
SO TELL ME ABOUT NORMANDY
AGAIN, GEORGE.
70
00:03:06,554 --> 00:03:09,823
OH, YOU JUST
CAN'T HEAR ENOUGH ABOUT
THE BIG ONE, CAN YA?
71
00:03:09,857 --> 00:03:11,992
NO.
72
00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:14,161
I LO WAR.
73
00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:18,366
OH, I MEAN, I HATE WAR,
BUT I LOVE HEARING
ABOUT THE KILLING.
74
00:03:18,399 --> 00:03:22,736
YOU KNOW,
I ONCE KILLED A NAZI
WITH MY BARE HANDS.
75
00:03:22,770 --> 00:03:25,138
OH, PLEASE!
76
00:03:26,106 --> 00:03:27,375
SO, HOW DID IT HAPPEN?
77
00:03:27,408 --> 00:03:30,143
WELL, I WAS ASLEEP IN
THIS BURNED-OUT CHURCH
78
00:03:30,177 --> 00:03:31,712
IN THE FRENCH
COUNTRYSIDE.
79
00:03:31,745 --> 00:03:33,080
AND HE TRIPPED,
AND YOU CHOKED HIM,
80
00:03:33,113 --> 00:03:34,248
AND I THINK
IT'S GETTING LATE.
81
00:03:34,282 --> 00:03:35,549
DICK!
82
00:03:35,583 --> 00:03:36,450
HUH?
83
00:03:36,484 --> 00:03:37,785
OH!
84
00:03:37,818 --> 00:03:39,353
OH, MARY!
85
00:03:39,387 --> 00:03:41,054
OH, THANK GOD
YOU'RE HERE!
86
00:03:41,088 --> 00:03:42,890
I HAD A TERRIBLE DREAM.
87
00:03:42,923 --> 00:03:45,158
YOUR FATHER WAS THERE...
88
00:03:45,192 --> 00:03:46,560
AND--
89
00:03:46,594 --> 00:03:48,996
AND HE WAS TELLING ALL
THESE BORING WAR STORIES.
90
00:03:49,029 --> 00:03:52,533
I COULDN'T KEEP
MY EYES OPEN!
91
00:03:57,137 --> 00:03:58,339
HELLO, GEORGE.
92
00:03:58,372 --> 00:03:59,840
CHOP-CHOP, EVERYONE!
TIME TO GO!
93
00:03:59,873 --> 00:04:05,045
OH, COOL,
I'M STILL KINDA DRUNK.
94
00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:08,416
HEY, THERE'S
NO HAIR ON MY CHEST.
95
00:04:08,449 --> 00:04:09,450
THANK YOU, MARY.
96
00:04:09,483 --> 00:04:11,018
GEORGE, IT WAS
A WONDERFUL EVENING,
97
00:04:11,051 --> 00:04:13,020
BUT I'M AFRAID WE'VE
GOT TO BE OFF. SALLY!
98
00:04:13,053 --> 00:04:14,555
REALLY? SO SOON?
99
00:04:14,588 --> 00:04:18,058
I DIDN'T EVEN GET
A CHANCE TO TELL SALLY
ABOUT MY DISCHARGE.
100
00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:21,329
THAT'S NOT
APPROPRIATE, DAD!
101
00:04:23,063 --> 00:04:25,533
FROM THE AIR FORCE!
102
00:04:25,566 --> 00:04:27,167
OH.
103
00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:28,602
WELL, HEY...
104
00:04:28,636 --> 00:04:32,573
WHY DON'T YOU TAKE SALLY
TO THE RUTHERFORD AIR
AND SPACE MUSEUM TOMORROW.
105
00:04:32,606 --> 00:04:34,007
YOU CAN TELL HER
ALL ABOUT IT.
106
00:04:34,041 --> 00:04:37,711
HEY, BUT I THOUGHT WE
WERE GONNA HAVE LUNCH
TOMORROW, MAGPIE.
107
00:04:37,745 --> 00:04:39,079
OH, THAT'S OK.
108
00:04:39,112 --> 00:04:40,781
WELL, I'D LOVE TO GO.
109
00:04:40,814 --> 00:04:43,951
THEY'VE GOT
A PERFECTLY RECONSTRUCTED
P-38 LIGHTNING.
110
00:04:43,984 --> 00:04:47,521
COULD WE GET IT
AND PRETEND
WE'RE BOMBING CITIES?
111
00:04:47,555 --> 00:04:49,122
I'LL SLIP THE GUARD
A FIVER.
112
00:04:49,156 --> 00:04:51,459
OH, YOU ARE AWESOME!
113
00:05:03,837 --> 00:05:06,239
HEY, TOMMY,
DO YOU LIKE EGG SALAD?
114
00:05:06,273 --> 00:05:07,941
'CAUSE I LIKE EGG SALAD.
115
00:05:07,975 --> 00:05:10,511
HARRY,
IF YOU EAT DICK'S LUNCH
BEFORE WE FIND HIM,
116
00:05:10,544 --> 00:05:12,680
THEN WE HAVE NO REASON
TO FIND DICK.
117
00:05:12,713 --> 00:05:14,548
THAT'S A LOAD OFF.
118
00:05:16,283 --> 00:05:17,818
OOH, LOOK!
119
00:05:17,851 --> 00:05:20,020
AN EXHIBIT ON
THE EARLY DAYS
OF RADIO.
120
00:05:20,053 --> 00:05:23,524
NO. THIS IS JUST
THE COLLEGE'S CRUDDY
OLD RADIO STATION.
121
00:05:23,557 --> 00:05:27,127
NO. I'M PRETTY SURE
THAT GUY'S ANIMATRONIC.
122
00:05:31,565 --> 00:05:32,833
HEY, EDDIE.
123
00:05:32,866 --> 00:05:33,734
ARE YOU THE D.J.?
124
00:05:33,767 --> 00:05:36,169
HUH? NO. HE LEFT
FOR SPRING BREAK.
125
00:05:36,203 --> 00:05:38,071
WHAT? YOU MEAN
THERE IS NO D.J.?
126
00:05:38,105 --> 00:05:40,240
WELL, ISN'T THAT KIND
OF CHEATING PEOPLE?
127
00:05:40,273 --> 00:05:42,075
THIS IS, LIKE, 8 WATTS, MAN.
128
00:05:42,109 --> 00:05:45,446
I MEAN, HOW MANY PEOPLE
IS THAT, LIKE...
129
00:05:45,479 --> 00:05:47,415
8?
130
00:05:47,448 --> 00:05:48,782
OH! EDDIE!
131
00:05:48,816 --> 00:05:50,150
CAN I BE YOUR D.J.?
132
00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:52,252
UH, I DON'T KNOW.
133
00:05:52,285 --> 00:05:54,221
DO YOU HAVE ANY EXPERIENCE?
134
00:05:54,254 --> 00:05:56,990
WHY, YES, I DO!
135
00:05:57,024 --> 00:06:02,062
YES. I WAS IN CHARGE
OF THE MORNING DRIVE TIME
ZOO CREW TEAM
136
00:06:02,095 --> 00:06:05,799
AT WLMNOP.
137
00:06:05,833 --> 00:06:07,468
I CAN WORK THE KNOBS
PERFECT.
138
00:06:07,501 --> 00:06:09,236
OH, KNOCK YOURSELVES OUT.
139
00:06:09,269 --> 00:06:11,071
ALL RIGHT!
OOH!
140
00:06:11,104 --> 00:06:12,906
OH, UH, JUST...
141
00:06:12,940 --> 00:06:14,274
DON'T CURSE...
142
00:06:14,307 --> 00:06:16,109
AND DON'T SPILL NOTHIN',
143
00:06:16,143 --> 00:06:18,278
AND IF YA SPILL SOMETHIN',
144
00:06:18,311 --> 00:06:20,548
DON'T CURSE.
145
00:06:26,253 --> 00:06:27,421
OH, WAIT--
WAIT A SECOND.
146
00:06:27,455 --> 00:06:27,955
WHOA! WHOA!
147
00:06:27,988 --> 00:06:28,722
WHAT DO I SAY?
148
00:06:28,756 --> 00:06:32,359
IN 4...3...2...
149
00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:34,562
GOOD MORNING,
RUTHERFORD.
150
00:06:34,595 --> 00:06:36,196
I'M HARRY SOLOMON.
151
00:06:36,229 --> 00:06:39,967
IT'S 10:52 IN THE A.M.
HERE AT WPDL.
152
00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:41,001
IT'S A SUNNY DAY,
153
00:06:41,034 --> 00:06:45,338
AND I'VE GOT A SUNNY WAY
TO PLAY.
154
00:06:45,372 --> 00:06:46,406
HERE'S ONE
OF MY FAVORITES,
155
00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:49,276
AND I HOPE
IT'S ONE OF YOURS.
156
00:06:49,309 --> 00:06:52,312
SEE IF YOU
RECOGNIZE THIS ONE.
157
00:06:56,850 --> 00:06:57,551
PUT THE TAPE IN.
158
00:06:57,585 --> 00:07:01,522
I DON'T KNOW HOW.
159
00:07:01,555 --> 00:07:05,893
WELCOME TO TALK RADIO,
PEOPLE.
160
00:07:06,226 --> 00:07:08,395
VROOOOM!
161
00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:10,330
RAT-A-TAT-TAT-
TAT-TAT-TAT!
162
00:07:10,363 --> 00:07:13,200
OH, HOW WAS THE AIR
AND SPACE MUSEUM?
163
00:07:13,233 --> 00:07:14,702
IT WAS TERRIFIC!
164
00:07:14,735 --> 00:07:16,036
I HAD THE BEST TIME!
165
00:07:16,069 --> 00:07:17,237
OOH!
166
00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:19,372
SO, YOU SURE
YOU DON'T MIND ME
TAKING THE LINCOLN?
167
00:07:19,406 --> 00:07:20,407
NOT AT ALL.
168
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:22,142
YOU RUN YOUR ERRANDS
IN STYLE.
169
00:07:22,175 --> 00:07:23,043
THANKS.
170
00:07:23,076 --> 00:07:24,411
I'M GONNA PICK UP
THAT ELLA FITZGERALD CD.
171
00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:25,445
OH, YOU'RE
GONNA LOVE IT!
172
00:07:25,479 --> 00:07:29,950
OH, I KNOW I WILL
'CAUSE YOU KNOW
WHAT I LIKE.
173
00:07:29,983 --> 00:07:32,620
OH, ISN'T SHE SWEET?
174
00:07:32,653 --> 00:07:34,555
YOU KNOW, MUFFIN,
IF I DIDN'T KNOW BETTER,
175
00:07:34,588 --> 00:07:38,091
I'D SAY THAT LITTLE GAL
REALLY LIKES ME.
176
00:07:38,125 --> 00:07:42,362
WELL, OF COURSE SHE DOES.
YOU'RE WONDERFUL.
177
00:07:42,395 --> 00:07:46,233
NO. I MEAN
SHE REALLY LIKES ME.
178
00:07:46,266 --> 00:07:48,101
OH, PLEASE.
179
00:07:48,135 --> 00:07:50,103
SHE DIDN'T WANT TO
LEAVE THE AIR MUSEUM.
180
00:07:50,137 --> 00:07:57,077
WELL, OBVIOUSLY, SHE
HAS SOME PERVERSE INTEREST
IN OLD WAR RELICS.
181
00:07:57,110 --> 00:08:00,113
IN MY OPINION,
IF DOGS WERE MEANT
TO BE ON LEASHES,
182
00:08:00,147 --> 00:08:03,817
THEY WOULD HAVE BEEN
BORN WITH THEM.
183
00:08:03,851 --> 00:08:06,086
AND DON'T GIVE ME
THAT TIRED, OLD ARGUMENT
184
00:08:06,119 --> 00:08:10,123
THAT THEIR TAILS
ARE LEASHES.
185
00:08:10,157 --> 00:08:12,225
OK, LET'S CHECK IN
WITH THE TRAFFIC
186
00:08:12,259 --> 00:08:14,595
WITH OUR GOOD BUDDY
TOMMY G!
187
00:08:14,628 --> 00:08:15,729
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
188
00:08:15,763 --> 00:08:19,600
WELL, UH...THERE'S
A TRUCK OUT THERE,
AND NOW IT'S GONE.
189
00:08:19,633 --> 00:08:21,368
BACK TO YOU, HARRY!
190
00:08:22,269 --> 00:08:24,905
LET'S BE CAREFUL
OUT THERE,
PEOPLE!
191
00:08:24,938 --> 00:08:27,507
OOH, HEY, WE
GOT AN IN-STUDIO
GUEST:
192
00:08:27,541 --> 00:08:28,776
MISS
NINA CAMPBELL!
193
00:08:28,809 --> 00:08:31,211
HEY, YOU GUYS,
I TURNED ON THE RADIO,
AND I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT!
194
00:08:31,244 --> 00:08:32,580
THIS IS SO GREAT!
195
00:08:32,613 --> 00:08:35,549
YEAH. I WANNA SEND SOME
SHOUTS OUT TO STEVEN
AND BOBBY AND CLARISSE--
196
00:08:35,583 --> 00:08:37,685
OOH! AND REGGIE AND SHY GIRL
AND LITTLE B AND--
197
00:08:37,718 --> 00:08:40,287
NO. THIS IS MY SHOW.
198
00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:43,356
OOH, WE'VE
GOT A CALLER
ON LINE 1.
199
00:08:43,390 --> 00:08:44,625
GO AHEAD, CALLER.
200
00:08:44,658 --> 00:08:48,461
YEAH. I TOTALLY DISAGREE
WITH YOU ON THAT WHOLE
LEASH LAW THING.
201
00:08:48,495 --> 00:08:50,230
OH...
202
00:08:53,300 --> 00:08:55,769
WELL, THAT'S TOO BAD...
203
00:08:56,904 --> 00:08:59,673
BECAUSE YOU,
MY FRIEND, ARE WRONG.
204
00:08:59,707 --> 00:09:01,074
YOU TELL HIM, HARRY!
205
00:09:01,108 --> 00:09:02,309
YEAH! NEXT SOUND
YOU HEAR
206
00:09:02,342 --> 00:09:06,313
WILL BE THE SOUND
OF ME HANGIN' UP
ON A DUMB ASS.
207
00:09:10,317 --> 00:09:14,254
OK, SO FAR YOU'VE
ATTACKED LEASH LAWS,
CITY COUNCIL,
208
00:09:14,287 --> 00:09:17,024
AND SOME OLD LADY.
209
00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:19,326
YEAH, BUT I'M RUNNIN' OUT
OF STUFF TO SAY.
210
00:09:19,359 --> 00:09:20,594
I MEAN, WE NEED A GUEST.
211
00:09:20,628 --> 00:09:22,596
OH, YOU KNOW
WHO YOU SHOULD HAVE ON?
212
00:09:22,630 --> 00:09:23,664
GEORGE ALBRIGHT.
213
00:09:23,697 --> 00:09:26,299
HE KILLED A NAZI
WITH HIS BARE HANDS.
214
00:09:26,333 --> 00:09:27,868
THAT'S COOL.
215
00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:30,537
WELL, YOU CERTAINLY
ARE SPENDING A LOT
OF TIME WITH THAT MAN.
216
00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:32,606
WELL, WHY NOT? HE'S GREAT.
217
00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:34,441
HE'S NOT LIKE ANY GUY
I'VE EVER MET.
218
00:09:34,474 --> 00:09:35,809
HE'S SO CONFIDENT.
219
00:09:35,843 --> 00:09:39,046
I MEAN, LOOK AT ALL
THE PLAID HE WEARS.
220
00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:41,314
WELL, I WILL ADMIT
HE IS JAZZY.
221
00:09:41,348 --> 00:09:43,784
OH, YEAH. HE'S GOT STYLE,
222
00:09:43,817 --> 00:09:46,319
PLUS HE SMELLS LIKE SPICES.
223
00:09:46,353 --> 00:09:49,623
OLD SPICES.
224
00:09:49,657 --> 00:09:52,425
DICK, I FINALLY UNDERSTAND
YOUR ALBRIGHT ATTRACTION.
225
00:09:52,459 --> 00:09:55,295
IT MUST BE THEIR DNA.
THEY'RE IRRESISTIBLE.
226
00:09:55,328 --> 00:09:57,297
YES! AT LAST
I'M UNDERSTOOD!
227
00:09:57,330 --> 00:09:58,999
THERE'S SOMETHING
ABOUT THEM, A CHARM...
228
00:09:59,032 --> 00:09:59,767
A MAGNETISM...
229
00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:00,567
A STRENGTH...
230
00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:01,434
A QUIET FORCE--
231
00:10:01,468 --> 00:10:04,537
THEY'RE
BOTH A PAIN
IN THE ASS.
232
00:10:04,571 --> 00:10:06,106
I DON'T KNOW, YOU GUYS.
233
00:10:06,139 --> 00:10:07,107
DO YOU REALLY THINK
A GUY LIKE GEORGE
234
00:10:07,140 --> 00:10:09,677
WOULD BE INTERESTED
IN A GAL LIKE ME?
235
00:10:09,710 --> 00:10:15,015
SALLY, WHY WOULD A GUY
IN HIS 70s WANT TO BE
WITH A WOMAN IN HER 20s?
236
00:10:15,048 --> 00:10:16,950
OH!
237
00:10:19,887 --> 00:10:24,491
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
238
00:10:24,524 --> 00:10:26,660
OH, HEY, ALBRIGHT,
IS GEORGE HERE?
239
00:10:26,694 --> 00:10:27,961
OH, ACTUALLY,
HE JUST WENT OUT.
240
00:10:27,995 --> 00:10:29,296
WITH WHO?
241
00:10:29,329 --> 00:10:30,297
TO GET A PAPER.
242
00:10:30,330 --> 00:10:31,298
OH.
243
00:10:31,331 --> 00:10:31,999
COME IN.
244
00:10:32,032 --> 00:10:34,534
COME IN.
THANKS.
245
00:10:36,303 --> 00:10:38,005
YOU KNOW, SALLY,
246
00:10:38,038 --> 00:10:39,873
MOTHER AND DAD
DO THIS EVERY YEAR,
247
00:10:39,907 --> 00:10:41,709
AND I DO NOT
LOOK FORWARD TO IT,
248
00:10:41,742 --> 00:10:43,343
SO THANK YOU
FOR HELPING ME OUT.
249
00:10:43,376 --> 00:10:46,346
DAD APPRECIATES IT.
HE REALLY DOES.
250
00:10:46,379 --> 00:10:48,181
HE DOES? HE SAID THAT?
251
00:10:48,215 --> 00:10:50,317
TELL ME EXACTLY
WHAT HE SAID, RIGHT NOW.
252
00:10:50,350 --> 00:10:52,252
OH! HE'S HAVING A BALL,
253
00:10:52,285 --> 00:10:55,022
AND I KNOW IT'S NOT EASY
ENTERTAINING DAD
ALL DAY.
254
00:10:55,055 --> 00:10:56,790
NO, NO. I LIKE IT.
255
00:10:56,824 --> 00:11:01,494
YOU'RE SO LUCKY.
YOUR DAD IS AMAZING.
256
00:11:01,528 --> 00:11:05,598
SOMETIMES HE GETS
A LITTLE CARRIED AWAY,
AND HE GETS THESE IDEAS.
257
00:11:05,632 --> 00:11:08,501
ALL I'M ASKING
IS THAT YOU BE GENTLE
WITH HIM, OK?
258
00:11:08,535 --> 00:11:11,304
OK. NO MORE WRESTLING.
259
00:11:13,040 --> 00:11:15,408
NO. I'M SERIOUS.
I WON'T DO IT AGAIN.
260
00:11:17,110 --> 00:11:20,680
OH, DON. THANKS
FOR COMING DOWN.
261
00:11:20,714 --> 00:11:22,482
WE KNOW HOW BUSY
YOU ARE.
262
00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:24,184
WE APPRECIATE
YOUR TIME.
263
00:11:24,217 --> 00:11:25,618
OH.
264
00:11:25,652 --> 00:11:26,787
IT'S MY PLEASURE.
265
00:11:26,820 --> 00:11:28,856
IN FACT, I THINK
I GOT AN INTERESTING STORY
FOR YOU GUYS.
266
00:11:28,889 --> 00:11:31,058
IN 4...3...2...
267
00:11:31,091 --> 00:11:33,360
AND WE'RE BACK!
268
00:11:33,393 --> 00:11:36,529
WELL, LOOK WHO
DROPPED BY
TO SAY HELLO.
269
00:11:36,563 --> 00:11:38,732
OFFICER DON ORVEL.
270
00:11:38,766 --> 00:11:43,236
OR AS HE'S KNOWN
ON THE STREETS,
MADGE WITH A BADGE.
271
00:11:45,238 --> 00:11:46,840
I'VE GOT THIS STORY
FOR YOU GUYS.
272
00:11:46,874 --> 00:11:50,911
YEAH, SO TELL ME,
OFFICER BACON BITS...
273
00:11:52,112 --> 00:11:54,281
WHEN YOU'RE
WORKING OVER A SUSPECT,
274
00:11:54,314 --> 00:11:56,283
DOES THAT MAKE YOU
FEEL LIKE A BIG MAN?
275
00:11:56,316 --> 00:12:00,888
[MAN SCREAMS ON TAPE]
276
00:12:00,921 --> 00:12:03,356
WELL, HARRY, I TRY NOT
TO ABUSE MY BADGE,
277
00:12:03,390 --> 00:12:05,325
WHICH BRINGS ME
TO MY STORY.
IT'S ABOUT--
278
00:12:05,358 --> 00:12:07,727
BORING!
279
00:12:07,761 --> 00:12:10,263
[MAN SNORES ON TAPE]
280
00:12:11,131 --> 00:12:12,966
SO, DON, TELL ME,
WHAT DO YOU THINK
281
00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:15,969
ABOUT OLD DUDES
DATING YOUNG,
HOT BABES?
282
00:12:16,003 --> 00:12:18,571
IS IT SMART
OR SKANKY.
283
00:12:20,307 --> 00:12:22,609
I DON'T KNOW. I GUESS
I'M DOWN WITH THAT.
284
00:12:22,642 --> 00:12:24,611
MM, YOU'RE DOWN
WITH THAT?
285
00:12:24,644 --> 00:12:27,848
YEAH. I AM.
I'M DOWN WITH THAT.
286
00:12:27,881 --> 00:12:31,184
YEAH! HE'S DOWN
WITH THAT.
287
00:12:31,218 --> 00:12:33,053
WELL, WOULD YOU
STILL BE DOWN WITH IT
288
00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:37,791
IF THE YOUNG, HOT BABE
WAS, OH, SAY, SALLY...
289
00:12:37,825 --> 00:12:41,428
AND THE OLD DUDE
WAS ALBRIGHT'S DAD?
290
00:12:42,495 --> 00:12:44,932
THAT I'M NOT DOWN WITH.
291
00:12:44,965 --> 00:12:49,502
SO, SALLY LIKES MR. ALBRIGHT.
HA, THAT'S MESSED UP.
292
00:12:49,536 --> 00:12:51,738
OH, WE'VE GOT A
CALLER ON LINE ONE.
293
00:12:51,771 --> 00:12:53,673
YOU'RE ON THE AIR
WITH HARRY SOLOMON.
294
00:12:53,706 --> 00:12:56,243
Sally: YEAH,
THIS IS, UM, THELMA...
295
00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:58,745
FROM OHIO.
296
00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:00,547
IT'S NONE OF YOUR
BUSINESS WHAT I DO,
297
00:13:00,580 --> 00:13:02,549
AND IF YOU IDIOTS
KEEP TALKING ABOUT ME,
298
00:13:02,582 --> 00:13:06,519
I'M GONNA BEAT YOUR FACES IN
WITH A MONKEY WRENCH
WHEN YOU GET HOME.
299
00:13:07,454 --> 00:13:10,557
NEW TOPIC.
300
00:13:10,590 --> 00:13:12,725
MICHELLE PFEIFFER'S LIPS.
301
00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:17,664
ARE THEY REAL?
302
00:13:22,135 --> 00:13:25,138
DADDY?
YOU STILL UP?
303
00:13:27,407 --> 00:13:28,641
YES.
304
00:13:28,675 --> 00:13:29,910
OH, MY GOD.
OH, MY GOD.
OH, MY GOD.
305
00:13:29,943 --> 00:13:32,846
OH, MY GOD.
OH, MY GOD.
OH, MY GOD.
306
00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:35,815
HEY! ALBRIGHT! ALBRIGHT!
307
00:13:35,849 --> 00:13:38,718
I'M BEING GENTLE.
308
00:13:45,993 --> 00:13:50,864
HEADS UP! I'M COMING
INTO THE ROOM!
309
00:13:50,898 --> 00:13:52,832
I CAN'T SLEEP.
WE HAVE TO TALK.
310
00:13:52,866 --> 00:13:54,201
GREAT.
LET'S TALK.
311
00:13:54,234 --> 00:13:56,603
I'D LIKE TO SPEAK
TO MY FATHER ALONE,
PLEASE?
312
00:13:56,636 --> 00:13:58,939
OH, OK.
GOOD NIGHT, SUGAR.
313
00:13:59,539 --> 00:14:00,840
OH, LISTEN, UM,
314
00:14:00,874 --> 00:14:02,142
GEORGE AND I WANT
TO TAKE YOU AND DICK
315
00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:03,576
OUT TO DINNER
TOMORROW NIGHT.
316
00:14:03,610 --> 00:14:06,880
OH, GOODY. A DOUBLE DATE
WITH MY DAD.
317
00:14:06,914 --> 00:14:08,916
PLEASE GO.
318
00:14:11,284 --> 00:14:14,254
MARY, LISTEN, I JUST
WANT YOU TO KNOW NOW
319
00:14:14,287 --> 00:14:16,256
THAT GEORGE AND I
ARE TOGETHER,
320
00:14:16,289 --> 00:14:18,391
AND I'M NOT GONNA TRY
TO REPLACE YOUR MOTHER,
321
00:14:18,425 --> 00:14:21,728
OK? I JUST...
322
00:14:21,761 --> 00:14:23,663
I JUST HOPE TO BECOME
A WAY BETTER MOTHER
323
00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:26,633
AND GRADUALLY TURN YOU
AGAINST HER.
324
00:14:28,235 --> 00:14:30,437
I'M NOT GONNA CALL YOU
MUMMY.
325
00:14:30,470 --> 00:14:31,438
SALLY'S FINE. OH!
326
00:14:31,471 --> 00:14:32,839
LISTEN, I WANT TO
TAKE YOU SHOPPING
NEXT WEEK,
327
00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:36,276
GET YOU A PRETTY
NEW DRESS. WOULD YOU
LIKE THAT?
328
00:14:37,444 --> 00:14:39,612
DID I TELL YOU SHE'S
GOT THE HOTS FOR ME?
329
00:14:39,646 --> 00:14:40,981
WAS I RIGHT?
330
00:14:41,014 --> 00:14:43,483
STOP THIS FOOLISHNESS
AND GO BACK TO MOTHER!
331
00:14:43,516 --> 00:14:46,819
NO! AFTER 45 YEARS
OF PURE MISERY,
332
00:14:46,853 --> 00:14:51,691
I FINALLY THINK
THERE'S A PLAN
FOR THE UNIVERSE.
333
00:14:51,724 --> 00:14:53,260
WHY HER?
334
00:14:53,293 --> 00:14:54,928
I'M CRAZY ABOUT HER.
335
00:14:54,962 --> 00:14:58,831
AND THAT'S WHY
I THINK I'M GONNA
GIVE HER THIS.
336
00:14:58,865 --> 00:15:01,234
THAT'S MOTHER'S
HEIRLOOM BRACELET.
337
00:15:01,268 --> 00:15:03,903
WELL, MARTHA DOESN'T
WEAR IT ANYMORE.
338
00:15:03,937 --> 00:15:08,041
I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR HER
TO DIE TO GET THAT!
339
00:15:09,142 --> 00:15:13,013
WE ALL HAVE, HONEY.
WE ALL HAVE.
340
00:15:18,451 --> 00:15:21,521
OH, YEAH? WELL,
WHY DON'T YOU COME
DOWN TO THE STATION
341
00:15:21,554 --> 00:15:24,992
AND MAKE ME,
YA BIG JERK?!
342
00:15:25,025 --> 00:15:27,394
[POW]
343
00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:30,563
HARRY, SHE
WAS 8 YEARS OLD.
344
00:15:32,032 --> 00:15:34,401
SHE JUST WANTED TO KNOW
IF IT WAS GONNA RAIN.
345
00:15:34,434 --> 00:15:37,404
[BOOM]
346
00:15:37,437 --> 00:15:40,740
YOU JUST STIFLE IT,
LITTLE MAN.
347
00:15:42,575 --> 00:15:45,512
SO GEORGE THINKS
WE SHOULD TAKE
A COLD WATER CRUISE,
348
00:15:45,545 --> 00:15:48,982
BECAUSE IT'S FAR MORE
INTERESTING THAN DOING
THAT WHOLE ISLAND THING.
349
00:15:49,016 --> 00:15:49,983
OH, YEAH.
350
00:15:50,017 --> 00:15:51,584
THERE'S NOTHING
LIKE SNUGGLING UP
ON THE DECK
351
00:15:51,618 --> 00:15:54,787
WITH YOUR SWEETIE
AND A HOT TODDY.
352
00:15:54,821 --> 00:15:58,125
WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?
AND DON'T GO TOO FAR!
353
00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:02,062
SHALL WE DANCE?
354
00:16:02,095 --> 00:16:04,998
OH, I'D LOVE TO.
355
00:16:05,032 --> 00:16:08,235
OH, WHOOPSIE, MARY.
LET ME GET IT.
356
00:16:11,438 --> 00:16:14,107
GOOD DOUBLE-BAKED
POTATOES.
357
00:16:14,141 --> 00:16:15,508
LOOK AT THOSE TWO.
358
00:16:15,542 --> 00:16:16,243
WHO?
359
00:16:16,276 --> 00:16:19,446
WOODY AND SOON-YI
OVER THERE.
360
00:16:21,081 --> 00:16:24,717
THIS WORLD WORKS IN WONDERFUL
AND MYSTERIOUS WAYS.
361
00:16:24,751 --> 00:16:26,486
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
362
00:16:26,519 --> 00:16:29,256
THOSE TWO PEOPLE
COULD BE FATED
TO FALL IN LOVE,
363
00:16:29,289 --> 00:16:32,892
JUST WHEN YOUR MOTHER
WAS CONVENIENTLY
OUT OF THE WAY.
364
00:16:33,793 --> 00:16:37,864
LOOK AT HIM DANCING,
GUSHING ALL OVER HER.
365
00:16:37,897 --> 00:16:38,998
DANCING?
366
00:16:39,032 --> 00:16:41,401
MAKING A FOOL
OF HIMSELF.
367
00:16:41,434 --> 00:16:43,736
DANCING.
368
00:16:43,770 --> 00:16:45,538
IS THIS MAYONNAISE
OR HORSERADISH?
369
00:16:45,572 --> 00:16:47,240
OF COURSE I KNOW WHAT
IT IS WITH SALLY.
370
00:16:47,274 --> 00:16:50,277
SHE'S JUST TRYING
TO REPLACE THE FATHER
SHE LOST.
371
00:16:50,310 --> 00:16:52,979
OH! OH!
372
00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:55,582
WHATEVER IT IS,
IT'S HOT.
373
00:16:55,615 --> 00:16:57,884
DON'T TELL ME
I'M JEALOUS,
BECAUSE I'M NOT!
374
00:16:57,917 --> 00:17:00,353
MY MOUTH IS ON FIRE.
375
00:17:01,421 --> 00:17:03,523
THAT'S MY DADDY!
376
00:17:03,556 --> 00:17:06,293
THAT'S MY NAPKIN!
377
00:17:06,326 --> 00:17:09,629
DADDY, YOU WANT
TO DANCE WITH ME?
378
00:17:09,662 --> 00:17:13,533
WELL, SURE...
KITTEN.
379
00:17:14,201 --> 00:17:15,968
I'LL DANCE
WITH YOU, SALLY.
380
00:17:16,002 --> 00:17:17,637
HE CALLED HER KITTEN!
381
00:17:17,670 --> 00:17:18,671
I'M KITTEN!
382
00:17:18,705 --> 00:17:20,039
CAN'T YOU BE
PUMPKIN?
383
00:17:20,073 --> 00:17:22,041
I DON'T WANT
TO BE PUMPKIN!
384
00:17:22,075 --> 00:17:24,111
WE'RE GONNA HAVE
TO GET SOME THINGS
STRAIGHTEN OUT
385
00:17:24,144 --> 00:17:25,878
IF SHE'S GONNA BE
MY MOTHER-IN-LAW.
386
00:17:25,912 --> 00:17:28,081
BUT AREN'T YOU GONNA
BE HER STEPMOTHER?
387
00:17:28,115 --> 00:17:29,616
WHATEVER.
388
00:17:29,649 --> 00:17:32,885
EXCUSE ME.
UH, SHALL WE DANCE?
389
00:17:32,919 --> 00:17:35,021
EHH--
390
00:17:36,556 --> 00:17:39,126
SHALL WE DANCE?
391
00:17:39,159 --> 00:17:41,161
NO!
392
00:17:41,194 --> 00:17:43,330
DADDY?
393
00:17:43,363 --> 00:17:45,532
SALLY, PEOPLE
ARE WATCHING.
394
00:17:45,565 --> 00:17:46,899
REALLY?
395
00:17:46,933 --> 00:17:49,236
OHH!
396
00:17:50,337 --> 00:17:53,072
I WAS DANCING
WITH MY DADDY.
397
00:17:53,106 --> 00:17:55,442
NO! YOU WERE DANCING
WITH MY BOYFRIEND.
398
00:17:55,475 --> 00:17:59,146
HE WAS MY DADDY WAY BEFORE
HE WAS YOUR BOYFRIEND.
399
00:17:59,179 --> 00:18:01,281
LISTEN, I THINK
YOU'D BETTER GROW UP.
400
00:18:01,314 --> 00:18:02,182
GEORGE AND I
ARE A THING,
401
00:18:02,215 --> 00:18:04,083
AND YOU JUST BETTER
GET USED TO IT, MISSY.
402
00:18:04,117 --> 00:18:07,687
WELL, YOU JUST BETTER
GET USED TO ME!
403
00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:09,356
IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG,
KITTENS?
404
00:18:09,389 --> 00:18:11,391
NO!
NOTHING!
405
00:18:14,894 --> 00:18:16,863
OK. WE'RE BACK.
406
00:18:16,896 --> 00:18:19,199
LET'S GO
TO THE PHONES.
WHO'S ON?
407
00:18:19,232 --> 00:18:19,832
NOBODY.
408
00:18:19,866 --> 00:18:20,733
YEAH. WE HAVEN'T
HAD A CALL
409
00:18:20,767 --> 00:18:25,538
SINCE YOU MADE FUN
OF THAT LADY'S DEAD CAT.
410
00:18:25,572 --> 00:18:27,440
MAYBE WE NEED A NEW TOPIC.
411
00:18:27,474 --> 00:18:29,476
OOH, THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.
412
00:18:29,509 --> 00:18:33,012
HEY! LET'S GO
ONE-ON-ONE WITH
NINA CAMPBELL.
413
00:18:33,045 --> 00:18:34,046
OK.
414
00:18:34,080 --> 00:18:37,784
OK. SO, NINA,
HOW MANY DATES
HAVE YOU HAD LATELY,
415
00:18:37,817 --> 00:18:39,886
LIKE ZERO?
416
00:18:42,289 --> 00:18:43,423
WHAT?
417
00:18:43,456 --> 00:18:45,658
NO, NO, NO! IT'S OK.
I THINK I KNOW WHAT
THE PROBLEM IS.
418
00:18:45,692 --> 00:18:46,493
OH, REALLY?
419
00:18:46,526 --> 00:18:49,862
YEAH. YOU'RE
A GREAT BIG LOSER.
420
00:18:49,896 --> 00:18:51,097
I DON'T HAVE TO TAKE THIS!
421
00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:52,732
YES, YOU DO
'CAUSE YOU'RE A LOSER.
422
00:18:52,765 --> 00:18:53,766
I'M OUT OF HERE!
423
00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:55,101
WAIT, HARRY,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
424
00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:57,237
WELL, I'LL TELL YOU
WHAT I'M NOT DOING.
425
00:18:57,270 --> 00:19:01,508
I'M NOT JUST
SITTING THERE BEING
A PIMPLE RANCHER.
426
00:19:02,475 --> 00:19:05,212
HOW'S THE NEW CROP
THIS YEAR, TEEN BOY?
427
00:19:05,245 --> 00:19:06,346
THIS IS OVER.
428
00:19:06,379 --> 00:19:07,113
I AM GONE!
429
00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:09,582
OH, GO! LEAVE!
430
00:19:09,616 --> 00:19:12,852
I DON'T CARE.
I DON'T NEED
ANY OF YOU.
431
00:19:15,222 --> 00:19:18,191
COME BAAACK!
432
00:19:18,658 --> 00:19:20,760
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
433
00:19:24,096 --> 00:19:25,064
HEY, SALLY.
434
00:19:25,097 --> 00:19:26,132
HEY, GEORGE.
435
00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:28,034
LISTEN,
WE HAVE TO TALK.
436
00:19:28,067 --> 00:19:30,102
WELL, COME IN.
437
00:19:32,639 --> 00:19:33,840
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
438
00:19:33,873 --> 00:19:35,475
WELL, UM,
I'VE BEEN THINKING.
439
00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:40,747
AND, UH, I THINK WE SHOULD
COOL THINGS OFF A BIT.
440
00:19:40,780 --> 00:19:45,752
OH, IF I HAD A NICKEL
FOR EVERY SECRETARY
I'VE SAID THAT TO.
441
00:19:45,785 --> 00:19:47,420
I'M SERIOUS.
442
00:19:47,454 --> 00:19:49,456
WELL, WHY?
443
00:19:49,489 --> 00:19:52,425
WELL, I JUST--
I'M NOT READY TO BE
WITH SOMEBODY
444
00:19:52,459 --> 00:19:55,061
WHO HAS CHILDREN.
445
00:19:55,094 --> 00:19:58,398
WHAT, MARY?
SHE REALLY CAN TAKE
CARE OF HERSELF.
446
00:19:58,431 --> 00:20:01,334
OH, LET'S NOT FOOL
OURSELVES, GEORGE.
447
00:20:01,368 --> 00:20:03,303
SHE'S GONNA BE
A LOT OF WORK.
448
00:20:03,336 --> 00:20:07,073
KIDS JUST ARE.
YOU KNOW THAT.
449
00:20:07,106 --> 00:20:09,208
SHE'S OLD.
450
00:20:10,843 --> 00:20:13,112
THIS ISN'T EASY
FOR ME, OK?
451
00:20:13,145 --> 00:20:15,582
I DON'T WANT TO PENALIZE YOU
FOR BEING A GREAT DAD.
452
00:20:15,615 --> 00:20:19,419
IT'S JUST--
I HAVE TO BE SELFISH HERE.
453
00:20:19,452 --> 00:20:22,021
I KNEW I SHOULD'VE
CLOSED THIS DEAL
THE NIGHT WE MET.
454
00:20:22,054 --> 00:20:24,757
I KNEW THAT.
455
00:20:24,791 --> 00:20:27,427
I THINK MAYBE YOU SHOULD
GO BACK TO YOUR WIFE.
456
00:20:27,460 --> 00:20:29,496
AW...
457
00:20:30,196 --> 00:20:32,432
WELL, I USUALLY DO.
458
00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:36,303
WELL, THERE YOU GO.
459
00:20:38,037 --> 00:20:40,006
BYE, SUGAR.
460
00:20:42,842 --> 00:20:43,576
SALLY.
461
00:20:43,610 --> 00:20:45,378
ALBRIGHT.
462
00:20:45,412 --> 00:20:48,047
LOOK. I'M SORRY
FOR THE WAY I ACTED
THE OTHER NIGHT.
463
00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:49,749
MAYBE WE SHOULD ALL
TALK THIS OUT.
464
00:20:49,782 --> 00:20:52,251
NO. THERE'S NOTHING TO
TALK ABOUT MUFFIN, I--
465
00:20:52,285 --> 00:20:53,786
I'M GOING BACK TO MOTHER.
466
00:20:53,820 --> 00:20:54,454
REALLY?!
467
00:20:54,487 --> 00:20:55,788
YEAH, HE IS.
468
00:20:55,822 --> 00:20:58,291
AND I'M SORRY
IF THIS CAUSED
469
00:20:58,325 --> 00:21:00,593
ANY FRICTION IN
YOUR RELATIONSHIP.
470
00:21:00,627 --> 00:21:05,432
BUT, MARY, I JUST
WANT YOU TO KNOW
SOMETHING.
471
00:21:05,465 --> 00:21:07,967
I COULD'VE HAD HIM.
472
00:21:17,810 --> 00:21:27,787
SHE AIN'T LYING.
473
00:21:27,820 --> 00:21:30,189
NOW ARE YOU SURE YOU
HAVE EVERYTHING?
474
00:21:30,222 --> 00:21:31,691
YEAH.
475
00:21:34,461 --> 00:21:39,231
MARY, I WOULDN'T
MENTION THIS SALLY
THING TO MOTHER.
476
00:21:39,265 --> 00:21:42,802
GEE DAD, I DON'T KNOW
IF I CAN DO THAT.
477
00:21:42,835 --> 00:21:45,171
HERE.
478
00:21:45,505 --> 00:21:49,008
MY LIPS ARE SEALED.
32557
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