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1
00:00:04,838 --> 00:00:07,375
LAST TIME ON
3RD ROCK FROM THE SUN...
2
00:00:07,408 --> 00:00:08,676
Sally:
LIEUTENANT'S LOG,
3
00:00:08,709 --> 00:00:09,977
RUTHERFORD, OHIO,
IS OVERRUN
4
00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:12,846
BY A GROUP OF GORGEOUS,
MANIPULATIVE VENUSIANS.
5
00:00:12,880 --> 00:00:14,682
ALL THE MEN ARE BLINDED
BY THEIR BEAUTY
6
00:00:14,715 --> 00:00:15,983
DICK WITH GABRIELLA...
7
00:00:16,016 --> 00:00:17,118
TOMMY WITH CHLOE...
8
00:00:17,151 --> 00:00:19,620
AND HARRY TOTALLY
LOSES IT FOR MASCHA.
9
00:00:19,653 --> 00:00:21,055
MEANWHILE, MARY
AND NINA GET...
10
00:00:21,089 --> 00:00:22,823
TICKET'S
TO THE SUPER BOWL!
11
00:00:22,856 --> 00:00:23,824
EEE!
12
00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:25,926
Sally:
AND HEAD TO SAN DIEGO
FOR THE BIG GAME.
13
00:00:25,959 --> 00:00:27,661
JUST AS I STUMBLE
UPON THE VENUSIANS'
14
00:00:27,695 --> 00:00:30,364
DIABOLICAL PLAN
OF TOTAL WORLD DOMINATION,
15
00:00:30,398 --> 00:00:32,066
THEY KIDNAP ME
AND TAKE ME TO CALIFORNIA.
16
00:00:32,100 --> 00:00:34,168
AAAAHHHHHH!
17
00:00:34,202 --> 00:00:35,403
THE GUYS FINALLY CATCH ON
18
00:00:35,436 --> 00:00:37,538
AND HEAD WEST
TO TRY AND SAVE ME.
19
00:00:37,571 --> 00:00:39,440
BOY, AM I SCREWED.
20
00:00:39,473 --> 00:00:40,941
LET'S GO!
21
00:01:26,620 --> 00:01:29,490
SO, UH, YOU GUYS
NOTICED ANY SUDDEN
INFLUX OF, UH,
22
00:01:29,523 --> 00:01:31,058
ATTRACTIVE WOMEN
AROUND THESE PARTS?
23
00:01:31,091 --> 00:01:34,495
OH, YEAH, A WHOLE
BUNCH CAME THROUGH.
24
00:01:34,528 --> 00:01:34,995
REALLY?
25
00:01:35,028 --> 00:01:36,930
TALL, EXOTIC, SCARY?
26
00:01:36,964 --> 00:01:37,798
THAT'S THEM.
27
00:01:37,831 --> 00:01:39,400
WE'RE HOT ON
THE TRAIL, BOYS!
28
00:01:39,433 --> 00:01:41,135
IF YOU BUMP INTO ONE
NAMED ESTROVIA,
29
00:01:41,169 --> 00:01:42,570
TELL HER GLEN SAYS HI.
30
00:01:42,603 --> 00:01:44,104
RIGHT.
31
00:01:56,950 --> 00:01:57,918
UHH!
32
00:01:57,951 --> 00:01:58,819
OHH!
33
00:01:58,852 --> 00:02:00,321
THIS STUFF
IS TERRIBLE!
34
00:02:00,354 --> 00:02:02,323
DICK, IT'S
GOT TWIGS IN IT.
35
00:02:02,356 --> 00:02:05,092
TWIGS ARE THE MEAT
OF THE DESERT.
36
00:02:06,160 --> 00:02:08,296
OK, I NEVER THOUGHT
I'D SAY THIS,
37
00:02:08,329 --> 00:02:09,797
BUT I MISS
SALLY'S COOKING.
38
00:02:09,830 --> 00:02:10,764
YEAH.
39
00:02:10,798 --> 00:02:12,065
IN ALL THE HORRIBLE MEALS
SHE EVER COOKED US,
40
00:02:12,099 --> 00:02:14,568
SHE NEVER ONCE
TRIED TO FEED US WOOD.
41
00:02:14,602 --> 00:02:16,003
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
42
00:02:16,036 --> 00:02:17,771
IS THAT YOUR CELL PHONE?
43
00:02:17,805 --> 00:02:20,341
NO, IT'S NOT
MY CELL PHONE.
44
00:02:20,374 --> 00:02:21,242
IS IT YOUR
CELL PHONE?
45
00:02:21,275 --> 00:02:24,545
WE DON'T HAVE CELL PHONES.
WE'RE FROM OHIO.
46
00:02:24,578 --> 00:02:26,347
OH, WAIT A SECOND.
47
00:02:26,380 --> 00:02:27,715
IT'S MASCHA'S
COMPACT.
48
00:02:27,748 --> 00:02:28,849
WHOO!
49
00:02:28,882 --> 00:02:29,517
SHOULD I ANSWER IT?
50
00:02:29,550 --> 00:02:30,984
UH, NO! TOMMY,
YOU ANSWER IT.
51
00:02:31,018 --> 00:02:32,386
WHY ME?
BECAUSE YOU
LOOK LIKE A GIRL.
52
00:02:32,420 --> 00:02:33,954
OH, OK--
53
00:02:37,725 --> 00:02:40,361
[FEMININE VOICE]
HELLO?
54
00:02:40,394 --> 00:02:43,231
ATTENTION, ALL MEMBERS
OF GROUP 7.
55
00:02:43,264 --> 00:02:47,401
RENDEZVOUS TOMORROW MORNING
AT EXIT 11, ROUTE 66.
56
00:02:47,435 --> 00:02:50,103
SOUNDS GOOD.
OVER AND OUT.
57
00:02:50,137 --> 00:02:53,507
AND PUT SOME MAKEUP ON.
YOU LOOK LIKE A BOY.
58
00:03:00,881 --> 00:03:01,782
HARRY, YOU'RE
BURNING THE MAP!
59
00:03:01,815 --> 00:03:03,016
WHAT? WAAAAA!
60
00:03:03,050 --> 00:03:06,454
OUT! OUT! OUT!
GET IT OUT!
GET IT OUT!
61
00:03:07,688 --> 00:03:09,690
I'M SORRY.
62
00:03:09,723 --> 00:03:11,124
WELL, I DON'T SEE ANY
OF THESE WOMEN AROUND.
63
00:03:11,158 --> 00:03:12,693
WELL, THIS IS EXIT 11.
64
00:03:12,726 --> 00:03:14,595
HARRY, YOU LOOK AROUND.
I'LL GET US SUPPLIES.
65
00:03:14,628 --> 00:03:16,163
WAIT, DICK, WE DON'T
HAVE ANY MONEY.
66
00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:20,734
UH, WATCH THIS.
I KNOW HOW THESE
TRADING POSTS WORK.
67
00:03:20,768 --> 00:03:22,936
GREETINGS. WE GIVE YOU
68
00:03:22,970 --> 00:03:25,406
BLANKETS
AND SHINY HUBCAP.
69
00:03:25,439 --> 00:03:29,743
YOU GIVE US CHILI DOGS
AND GAS.
70
00:03:30,911 --> 00:03:32,580
GREETINGS,
WHITE EYES.
71
00:03:32,613 --> 00:03:35,949
WE TAKE CASH
OR CREDIT CARD.
72
00:03:35,983 --> 00:03:37,251
WHERE'S THE BATHROOM?
73
00:03:37,285 --> 00:03:38,719
THEY'RE NOT PAY TOILETS,
ARE THEY?
74
00:03:38,752 --> 00:03:39,587
NO.
75
00:03:39,620 --> 00:03:41,255
FINE.
76
00:03:44,392 --> 00:03:46,360
WHERE'S THE MOST
EXPENSIVE JEWELRY?
77
00:03:46,394 --> 00:03:47,861
RIGHT HERE.
78
00:03:47,895 --> 00:03:50,598
HELLO, MASCHA.
79
00:03:50,631 --> 00:03:52,165
HARRY, WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE?
80
00:03:52,199 --> 00:03:55,002
DON'T PLAY ME, BABY.
I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU.
81
00:03:55,035 --> 00:03:56,236
AND WHAT HAVE YOU
DONE WITH SALLY?
82
00:03:56,270 --> 00:03:59,340
I CAN'T TELL
YOU ANYTHING.
I WISH I COULD.
83
00:03:59,373 --> 00:04:01,709
CAN YOU
GIVE ME A HINT?
84
00:04:02,810 --> 00:04:04,612
WE'RE DOING SOMETHING,
85
00:04:04,645 --> 00:04:06,580
SOMETHING BIG,
86
00:04:06,614 --> 00:04:07,748
SUNDAY,
87
00:04:07,781 --> 00:04:10,150
IN SAN DIEGO.
88
00:04:11,785 --> 00:04:14,522
IS THAT ALL
YOU CAN TELL ME?
89
00:04:14,555 --> 00:04:17,891
SUNDAY...
AT A STADIUM...
90
00:04:17,925 --> 00:04:20,093
IN SAN DIEGO.
91
00:04:21,729 --> 00:04:25,433
JUST ONE CLUE,
FOR OLD TIME'S SAKE?
92
00:04:25,466 --> 00:04:27,468
AT THE SUPER BOWL!
93
00:04:27,501 --> 00:04:28,802
WORK WITH ME, BABY!
94
00:04:28,836 --> 00:04:31,705
WHICH SUPER BOWL?
95
00:04:31,739 --> 00:04:33,874
I HAVE TO GO NOW, HARRY.
96
00:04:33,907 --> 00:04:37,678
WHY ARE THE CUTE ONES
ALWAYS SO DUMB?
97
00:04:40,180 --> 00:04:41,415
COME ON, BOYS!
98
00:04:41,449 --> 00:04:44,485
WE'RE GOING
TO SAN FRANCISCO!
99
00:04:44,518 --> 00:04:45,619
Mascha:
SAN DIEGO!
100
00:04:45,653 --> 00:04:48,155
SAN DIEGO!
101
00:04:50,391 --> 00:04:52,159
Sally:
LIEUTENANT'S LOG.
102
00:04:52,192 --> 00:04:53,961
I DON'T KNOW HOW LONG
I'VE BEEN HERE.
103
00:04:53,994 --> 00:04:56,263
I DON'T KNOW HOW LONG
THEY'RE GONNA KEEP ME.
104
00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:58,899
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT I KNOW ANYMORE.
105
00:04:58,932 --> 00:05:02,503
ON THE PLUS SIDE,
MY SKIN LOOKS GREAT.
106
00:05:03,804 --> 00:05:05,205
SO WHAT ARE YOU?
107
00:05:05,238 --> 00:05:06,540
I AM A VENUSIAN.
108
00:05:06,574 --> 00:05:08,175
WHAT DO VENUSIANS DO?
109
00:05:08,208 --> 00:05:12,413
THEY SEIZE CONTROL
AND MAKE IT LOOK
EFFORTLESS.
110
00:05:12,446 --> 00:05:16,183
HOW MANY VENUSIANS
DOES IT TAKE TO
SCREW IN A LIGHT BULB?
111
00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:20,187
NONE.
112
00:05:20,220 --> 00:05:22,923
THEY GET A
MAN TO DO IT.
113
00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:28,962
OK, LET'S SEE SOME
BAD GIRL ATTITUDE.
114
00:05:28,996 --> 00:05:31,499
[MUSIC PLAYS]
115
00:05:35,903 --> 00:05:37,905
NOW A FRIGHTENED WAIF.
116
00:05:45,579 --> 00:05:49,016
PARTY GIRL.
117
00:05:50,818 --> 00:05:53,086
WELL, SHE'S
GETTING THERE.
118
00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:55,122
NOT REALLY.
119
00:05:58,926 --> 00:06:01,028
HELLO, I'D LIKE 3 TICKETS
TO THE SUPER BOWL, PLEASE.
120
00:06:01,061 --> 00:06:02,162
GOOD ONES.
YEAH,
50-YARD LINE.
121
00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:03,797
SKY BOX.
122
00:06:03,831 --> 00:06:06,667
SOLD OUT? BUT THE GAME
DOESN'T START FOR 8 HOURS.
123
00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:09,269
HELLO? HELLO--
124
00:06:09,302 --> 00:06:10,571
WELL, WHAT ARE WE
GONNA DO NOW?
125
00:06:10,604 --> 00:06:13,240
IF ONLY
WE KNEW SOMEONE
WHO HAD TICKETS.
126
00:06:13,273 --> 00:06:14,975
HMM.
HMM.
HMM.
127
00:06:15,008 --> 00:06:16,877
LIKE MARY.
128
00:06:16,910 --> 00:06:19,747
HMM.
HMM.
HMM.
129
00:06:24,051 --> 00:06:25,252
THIS IS RIDICULOUS!
130
00:06:25,285 --> 00:06:26,954
THE HOTEL SHOULD HAVE
TO WARN THEIR GUESTS
131
00:06:26,987 --> 00:06:28,656
THAT PEOPLE FROM
THE HALF-TIME SHOW
132
00:06:28,689 --> 00:06:30,424
ARE STAYING HERE.
133
00:06:30,458 --> 00:06:33,160
HE SHOOTS,
HE SCORES!
134
00:06:33,193 --> 00:06:35,763
GET KILLED.
135
00:06:38,899 --> 00:06:40,501
YOU'VE DONE WELL.
136
00:06:40,534 --> 00:06:42,135
OH, THANK YOU.
137
00:06:42,169 --> 00:06:44,104
I'M STARVING.
138
00:06:48,008 --> 00:06:49,009
[GASPS]
139
00:06:49,777 --> 00:06:50,778
OHH.
140
00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:03,757
I'M FULL!
141
00:07:11,832 --> 00:07:13,133
MORNIN' FELLAS.
142
00:07:13,166 --> 00:07:14,134
COME ON IN.
143
00:07:14,167 --> 00:07:15,102
WHAT HAVE I MISSED?
144
00:07:15,135 --> 00:07:17,471
A LOT. YOU MISSED
ESPN 2's PREVIEW
145
00:07:17,505 --> 00:07:20,974
OF THE ESPN SUPER BOWL
PREGAME SHOW.
146
00:07:21,008 --> 00:07:22,476
AND THE CNBC
PREGAME SHOW,
147
00:07:22,510 --> 00:07:23,644
WHICH IS
THE FIRST PREVIEW
148
00:07:23,677 --> 00:07:26,547
OF THE NBC
SUPER BOWL
PRE-PREGAME PREVIEW.
149
00:07:26,580 --> 00:07:28,181
GRAB YOURSELF
A WAFFLE AND A BEER.
150
00:07:28,215 --> 00:07:32,019
IT'S ONLY T-MINUS
6 HOURS TO KICKOFF.
151
00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:34,755
* HOW LOOSE
IS YOUR GOOSE? *
152
00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:36,990
* HOW FUNKY IS
YOUR MONKEY? *
153
00:07:38,559 --> 00:07:40,694
OH, MY GOD! WHAT
ARE YOU PEOPLE ON?
154
00:07:40,728 --> 00:07:44,097
WILL YOU SHUT UP?!
155
00:07:44,131 --> 00:07:46,133
YOU WANT TO CHECK OUT
THE CONTINENTAL BREAKFAST?
156
00:07:46,166 --> 00:07:47,234
I HEAR IT'S
NEXT TO THE BAR.
157
00:07:47,267 --> 00:07:49,102
LET'S GO.
158
00:07:57,845 --> 00:08:00,280
FIND THE TICKETS.
159
00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:03,617
AH, YES. SHE'S EITHER HIDDEN
THEM UNDER THE CARPET
160
00:08:03,651 --> 00:08:05,653
OR SEWED THEM
INTO THE CHAIR.
161
00:08:05,686 --> 00:08:06,386
FOUND THEM.
162
00:08:06,419 --> 00:08:07,555
WHERE WERE THEY?
IN THE DRAWER.
163
00:08:07,588 --> 00:08:08,589
GENIUS!
164
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:10,758
* HOW
165
00:08:10,791 --> 00:08:12,459
* FUNKY IS
YOUR MONKEY *
166
00:08:15,228 --> 00:08:21,034
ALL RIGHT, THANK YOU.
167
00:08:21,068 --> 00:08:24,104
WOW! THAT BABY
HAS A BIG HEAD.
168
00:08:24,137 --> 00:08:26,740
WELL, IT, UH,
RUNS IN THE FAMILY.
169
00:08:26,774 --> 00:08:28,375
AND THE HAIR?
170
00:08:28,408 --> 00:08:29,910
YES, I KNOW.
171
00:08:29,943 --> 00:08:33,513
WE HAVE
A VERY UGLY BABY.
172
00:08:33,547 --> 00:08:37,084
HEY, VIVIAN!
COME LOOK AT THIS
BABY'S HEAD!
173
00:08:37,117 --> 00:08:38,652
WHY DON'T
YOU SHOVE YOUR
LITTLE COMMENTS--
174
00:08:38,686 --> 00:08:43,791
OH, IS HE THIRSTY?
HE'S THIRSTY.
175
00:08:44,758 --> 00:08:46,660
GET ME OUT
OF THIS THING!
176
00:08:47,728 --> 00:08:50,063
HARRY, PUSH! PUSH!
177
00:08:50,664 --> 00:08:51,899
Dick: LOOK,
THERE THEY ARE!
178
00:08:51,932 --> 00:08:52,833
Harry:
IT'S CHLOE.
179
00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:53,567
Dick:
AND GABRIELLA.
180
00:08:53,601 --> 00:08:54,167
WHAT SHOULD WE DO?
181
00:08:54,201 --> 00:08:55,202
LET'S MAKE OUT
WITH THEM.
182
00:08:55,235 --> 00:08:56,670
SHUT UP!
183
00:08:56,704 --> 00:08:58,706
THEY'RE GOING TO
THE LADIES' ROOM.
WE GOTTA FOLLOW THEM.
184
00:08:58,739 --> 00:09:01,575
TOMMY, YOU GO FIRST.
YOU LOOK LIKE A GIRL.
185
00:09:01,609 --> 00:09:04,845
AS SOON AS WE GET BACK,
I'M GETTING A HAIRCUT.
186
00:09:12,519 --> 00:09:13,386
WHERE'D THEY GO?
187
00:09:13,420 --> 00:09:14,822
WHOA, DICK,
HOLD ON A SECOND.
188
00:09:14,855 --> 00:09:15,923
OH, TOMMY, NOT NOW.
189
00:09:15,956 --> 00:09:18,391
NO, NO, COME HERE.
190
00:09:19,893 --> 00:09:21,394
UHH!
OHH!
191
00:09:23,597 --> 00:09:24,231
DICK?
192
00:09:24,264 --> 00:09:25,098
WHAT?
193
00:09:25,132 --> 00:09:26,566
I HAVE TO USE
THE BATHROOM.
194
00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:28,268
ME, TOO.
NOT NOW!
195
00:09:28,301 --> 00:09:29,236
OHH!
196
00:09:29,269 --> 00:09:30,638
OHH!
197
00:09:30,671 --> 00:09:32,172
OHH!
OHH!
OHH!
198
00:09:35,643 --> 00:09:38,178
THIS IS THE BIGGEST
LADIES' ROOM
I'VE EVER SEEN.
199
00:09:38,211 --> 00:09:39,713
OHH!
OHH!
OHH!
200
00:09:49,356 --> 00:09:52,025
STOP!
I HEAR SOMETHING.
201
00:09:52,059 --> 00:09:53,694
I DON'T
SEE ANYTHING.
202
00:09:53,727 --> 00:09:55,896
ALL CLEAR!
203
00:09:59,266 --> 00:10:02,269
LET'S GO...
GENTLEMEN.
204
00:10:21,088 --> 00:10:23,556
Prell: LET THEM GO.
205
00:10:24,591 --> 00:10:28,261
THAT'S NO WAY
TO TREAT OUR GUESTS.
206
00:10:28,295 --> 00:10:29,863
CAPPUCCINO, GENTLEMEN?
207
00:10:29,897 --> 00:10:31,098
WELL, WHAT ELSE
DO YOU GOT BACK--
208
00:10:31,131 --> 00:10:33,566
TAKE THE CAPPUCCINO!
209
00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:35,969
PANTENE, BRECK!
210
00:10:36,003 --> 00:10:38,305
GET OUR VISITORS
A REFRESHMENT.
211
00:10:38,338 --> 00:10:40,373
WHERE'S MY
SISTER SALLY?!
212
00:10:40,407 --> 00:10:44,477
PERT! PERT PLUS,
BRING OUT THE NEW ONE.
213
00:10:46,213 --> 00:10:48,381
SALLY.
214
00:10:48,415 --> 00:10:50,250
MY NAME IS
NO LONGER SALLY.
215
00:10:50,283 --> 00:10:53,954
I NOW GO
BY THE NAME...
PAUL MITCHELL.
216
00:10:53,987 --> 00:10:56,389
SO, READY TO DIE?
217
00:10:56,423 --> 00:10:58,859
THAT'S IT!
YOU TELL HER, SALLY.
218
00:10:58,892 --> 00:11:01,128
I WAS TALKING TO YOU.
219
00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:02,495
OH.
220
00:11:11,839 --> 00:11:13,606
THESE AREN'T
SUPER BOWL TICKETS.
221
00:11:13,640 --> 00:11:14,407
YES, THEY ARE.
222
00:11:14,441 --> 00:11:16,443
THESE ARE TICKETS
TO OCEAN WORLD.
223
00:11:16,476 --> 00:11:17,510
NO, THEY'RE NOT.
224
00:11:17,544 --> 00:11:19,713
SEE THAT BIG FISH?
225
00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:23,516
IT'S NOT A FISH,
IT'S A MAMMAL.
226
00:11:23,550 --> 00:11:25,518
MOVE ON OUT OF THE WAY.
227
00:11:25,552 --> 00:11:27,487
MOVE!
228
00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:29,456
NEXT!
229
00:11:31,825 --> 00:11:35,162
WHY ARE YOU
WEARING PASTA?
230
00:11:36,629 --> 00:11:38,065
I JUST LIKE IT.
231
00:11:38,098 --> 00:11:41,101
WELL, GET RID OF IT.
IT CHEAPENS UP THE PLACE.
232
00:11:41,134 --> 00:11:42,970
WHAT IS YOUR
EVIL PLAN, PRELL?
233
00:11:43,003 --> 00:11:47,207
ARE YOU GONNA KEEP
US HERE AND MAKE US
YOUR SEX SLAVES?
234
00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:48,141
NO.
235
00:11:48,175 --> 00:11:49,109
ARE YOU SURE?
236
00:11:49,142 --> 00:11:50,878
I MEAN, THAT WOULD
BE A PRETTY GOOD
EVIL PLAN.
237
00:11:50,911 --> 00:11:55,382
SHUT UP! OUR PLAN
IS MUCH BETTER THAN THAT.
238
00:11:55,415 --> 00:12:00,921
WE ARE HERE TO TAKE EARTH'S
ENTIRE SUPPLY OF STUFF.
239
00:12:00,954 --> 00:12:02,923
FROM TINY
LEATHER BACKPACKS
240
00:12:02,956 --> 00:12:04,925
TO SPORTS CARS
241
00:12:04,958 --> 00:12:06,726
TO FABERGE EGGS.
242
00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:10,430
ALL THOSE THINGS
YOU LIKE WILL BE OURS.
243
00:12:10,463 --> 00:12:11,832
IMPRESSIVE, PRELL,
244
00:12:11,865 --> 00:12:14,768
AS IS THIS SECRET
UNDERGROUND LAIR OF YOURS.
245
00:12:14,802 --> 00:12:18,806
IT'S NOT TO MY TASTE,
BUT I CAN SEE WHERE
YOU'RE GOING WITH IT.
246
00:12:18,839 --> 00:12:21,341
HOWEVER, THE PEOPLE
OF EARTH ARE NOT AS
STUPID AS YOU THINK.
247
00:12:21,374 --> 00:12:23,977
OOH, REALLY?
248
00:12:24,011 --> 00:12:25,312
YOU WERE.
249
00:12:25,345 --> 00:12:27,147
GABRIELLA?
250
00:12:27,180 --> 00:12:28,448
FOR THE LAST
30 YEARS,
251
00:12:28,481 --> 00:12:31,751
WE'VE MONITORED
EARTH BROADCAST
SIGNALS,
252
00:12:31,785 --> 00:12:34,087
AND WE KNOW
YOUR WEAKNESS.
253
00:12:34,121 --> 00:12:37,958
AND NOW WE'RE GOING
TO EXPLOIT IT WITH
THE ULTIMATE WEAPON.
254
00:12:37,991 --> 00:12:39,159
IS IT
A RAY GUN?
255
00:12:39,192 --> 00:12:40,293
OH, I BET IT'S
A GIANT MAGNET.
256
00:12:40,327 --> 00:12:43,296
DOES IT RHYME
WITH SNUCLEAR?
257
00:12:43,330 --> 00:12:45,833
OUR WEAPON IS...
258
00:12:45,866 --> 00:12:47,434
THE BEER COMMERCIAL.
259
00:12:47,467 --> 00:12:49,102
[GASPS]
[GASPS]
[GASPS]
260
00:12:49,136 --> 00:12:51,839
WHAT?
WHAT?
WHAT?
261
00:12:51,872 --> 00:12:53,306
IT'S VERY SIMPLE,
GENTLEMEN.
262
00:12:53,340 --> 00:12:55,575
CHLOE, DARLING.
263
00:12:55,608 --> 00:12:57,344
WE HAVE NOTICED
THAT WHEN YOU EARTHMEN
264
00:12:57,377 --> 00:13:01,281
ARE BOMBARDED WITH IMAGES
OF HOPS, BARLEY, BREASTS,
AND FUN,
265
00:13:01,314 --> 00:13:04,417
YOU BECOME WEAK AND
SUSCEPTIBLE TO SUGGESTION.
266
00:13:04,451 --> 00:13:06,153
WE HAVE CREATED
A BEER COMMERCIAL
267
00:13:06,186 --> 00:13:11,391
400,000 TIMES
MORE POWERFUL
THAN EVER BEFORE,
268
00:13:11,424 --> 00:13:14,794
AND WE WILL BROADCAST
THIS 30-SECOND
MASTERPIECE DURING--
269
00:13:14,828 --> 00:13:16,229
THE SUPER BOWL?
270
00:13:16,263 --> 00:13:20,400
YES, AND THANK YOU
FOR RUINING
MY DRAMATIC MOMENT.
271
00:13:20,433 --> 00:13:23,203
EXCUSE ME, BUT WOULDN'T
IT HAVE BEEN EASIER TO
JUST BUY A COMMERCIAL?
272
00:13:23,236 --> 00:13:25,605
DURING
THE SUPER BOWL?
273
00:13:25,638 --> 00:13:29,109
HAVE YOU ANY IDEA
HOW MUCH THAT COSTS?
274
00:13:30,577 --> 00:13:31,411
OH!
275
00:13:31,444 --> 00:13:32,512
YOU CALL THAT A HIT?
276
00:13:32,545 --> 00:13:35,515
PUT SOME SHOULDER IN IT!
277
00:13:35,548 --> 00:13:37,951
I USED TO PLAY RUGBY.
278
00:13:37,985 --> 00:13:39,652
I USED TO BE
A CHEERLEADER
IN HIGH SCHOOL,
279
00:13:39,686 --> 00:13:40,820
BUT THEY THREW ME
OFF THE SQUAD
280
00:13:40,854 --> 00:13:44,091
BECAUSE I FORGOT
TO WEAR UNDERWEAR...
281
00:13:44,124 --> 00:13:46,927
OCCASIONALLY.
282
00:13:50,797 --> 00:13:53,033
THE SATELLITE
IS IN PLACE.
283
00:13:53,066 --> 00:13:56,269
BRING FORTH
THE MASTER TAPE.
284
00:13:56,303 --> 00:13:58,305
DON'T DO IT, SALLY!
285
00:13:59,739 --> 00:14:01,774
MASTER TAPE INSERTED.
286
00:14:01,808 --> 00:14:05,445
REMEMBER
THE GOOD TIMES, SALLY.
287
00:14:05,478 --> 00:14:07,380
5 SECONDS TO AIR.
288
00:14:07,414 --> 00:14:08,448
5...
289
00:14:08,481 --> 00:14:10,050
4...
290
00:14:10,083 --> 00:14:11,151
3...
291
00:14:11,184 --> 00:14:13,020
7...
2!
292
00:14:13,053 --> 00:14:14,221
2...
293
00:14:14,254 --> 00:14:15,889
1...
294
00:14:15,923 --> 00:14:18,758
I'M YOUR DADDY.
295
00:14:18,791 --> 00:14:22,162
YOU'RE MY LITTLE
SCHMOO-SCHMOO.
296
00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:27,567
AND I'M YOUR BUNNY MAN.
WHOO, I'M YOUR BUNNY!
297
00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:29,836
COME TO PAPA, BABY.
298
00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:32,805
THAT'S RIGHT, THAT'S IT.
299
00:14:34,841 --> 00:14:36,876
STOP THE MASTER TAPE!
300
00:14:36,910 --> 00:14:39,546
BOY, THAT WAS
EMBARRASSING.
301
00:14:39,579 --> 00:14:41,148
PAUL MITCHELL,
302
00:14:41,181 --> 00:14:43,616
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?
303
00:14:43,650 --> 00:14:45,652
THERE'S NO
PAUL MITCHELL HERE.
304
00:14:45,685 --> 00:14:48,388
MY NAME IS
SALLY SOLOMON!
305
00:14:48,421 --> 00:14:49,923
YES, SHE'S BACK!
306
00:14:49,957 --> 00:14:51,992
HOW RUDE!
307
00:14:52,025 --> 00:14:55,528
GABRIELLA, TEACH
THIS LADY SOME MANNERS.
308
00:14:55,562 --> 00:14:58,031
OH, SWEETIE, TRUST ME,
YOU DON'T WANT ANY
OF THIS, ALL RIGHT?
309
00:14:58,065 --> 00:15:00,333
OH, I WANT PLENTY
OF THAT.
310
00:15:00,367 --> 00:15:02,202
[INHALING AND EXHALING]
311
00:15:05,372 --> 00:15:05,872
UH-OH.
312
00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:07,340
SHE'S GOT THE KUNG-FU!
313
00:15:07,374 --> 00:15:09,176
AAH!
314
00:15:10,577 --> 00:15:12,145
OK, NOW I'M MAD.
315
00:15:12,179 --> 00:15:14,247
AND YOU WON'T LIKE ME
WHEN I'M MAD.
316
00:15:14,281 --> 00:15:15,548
AAH!
317
00:15:17,417 --> 00:15:18,952
OH!
318
00:15:26,459 --> 00:15:29,762
I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU GOT YOUR ASS
KICKED BY A GIRL.
319
00:15:29,796 --> 00:15:33,900
WELL, YOU MAY HAVE
SUCCEEDED IN RUINING
OUR MASTER PLAN,
320
00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:36,503
BUT WE'LL BE BACK.
321
00:15:36,536 --> 00:15:39,639
MEANWHILE, YOU WILL
BE TRAPPED HERE.
322
00:15:39,672 --> 00:15:41,908
BEGIN SELF-DESTRUCT
SEQUENCE.
323
00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:45,912
Computer: THE CONTROL ROOM
WILL SELF-DESTRUCT
IN 4 MINUTES.
324
00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:48,215
LET ME GUESS...
WE'RE IN THE CONTROL ROOM.
325
00:15:48,248 --> 00:15:49,616
CORRECT.
326
00:15:49,649 --> 00:15:52,652
LET'S GO, LADIES.
327
00:15:56,723 --> 00:15:58,758
WELL, GUYS,
I GUESS THIS IS IT.
328
00:15:58,791 --> 00:16:00,560
I SUPPOSE
IT'S APPROPRIATE.
329
00:16:00,593 --> 00:16:01,794
WE CAME TO THIS
WORLD TOGETHER,
330
00:16:01,828 --> 00:16:03,396
AND NOW WE'RE GONNA
LEAVE IT TOGETHER.
331
00:16:03,430 --> 00:16:04,164
YOU KNOW
WHAT HAPPENED?
332
00:16:04,197 --> 00:16:05,565
WE STAYED ON THIS
PLANET TOO LONG.
333
00:16:05,598 --> 00:16:08,068
REMEMBER THE FIRST RULE
OF INTERGALACTIC TRAVEL.
334
00:16:08,101 --> 00:16:09,469
NEVER GET ATTACHED.
335
00:16:09,502 --> 00:16:12,905
I THOUGHT IT WAS
NEVER GET A CAT.
336
00:16:12,939 --> 00:16:16,076
BUT YOU KNOW, LOOKING
BACK ON THE LAST 2 YEARS,
337
00:16:16,109 --> 00:16:18,278
LIVING AS A HUMAN
WITH THE 3 OF YOU,
338
00:16:18,311 --> 00:16:20,347
I WOULDN'T CHANGE A THING.
339
00:16:20,380 --> 00:16:24,584
Computer: THE CONTROL ROOM
WILL SELF-DESTRUCT
IN 3 MINUTES.
340
00:16:24,617 --> 00:16:27,720
WELL, EXCEPT THIS LAST THING
WHERE WE BLOW UP.
341
00:16:27,754 --> 00:16:29,022
GOOD POINT.
IT SUCKS!
NO THANK YOU.
342
00:16:29,056 --> 00:16:31,424
OH LOOK AT US!
WHAT FOOLS!
343
00:16:31,458 --> 00:16:33,326
WE THOUGHT THOSE WOMEN
REALLY LOVED US!
344
00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:35,228
SUCKERS, ALL OF US.
345
00:16:36,263 --> 00:16:38,365
HARRY!
MASCHA!
346
00:16:38,398 --> 00:16:40,433
I LOVE YOU.
347
00:16:40,467 --> 00:16:42,702
SUCKERS, HUH?
348
00:16:43,936 --> 00:16:46,539
WE GOTTA STOP THAT SHIP!
349
00:16:46,573 --> 00:16:51,578
MASCHA, LET'S USE THESE LAST
PRECIOUS MOMENTS OF LIFE...
350
00:16:51,611 --> 00:16:52,945
TO MAKE OUT.
351
00:16:52,979 --> 00:16:54,147
HARRY, COME ON!
352
00:16:54,181 --> 00:16:57,984
Computer: THE CONTROL ROOM
WILL SELF-DESTRUCT
IN 2 MINUTES.
353
00:16:58,017 --> 00:16:58,985
DICK, WE GOTTA GO!
354
00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:00,153
NO. WE CAN'T
LET THEM ESCAPE!
355
00:17:00,187 --> 00:17:02,389
MASCHA, HOW DO YOU CONTACT
THE TRANSPORT SHIP?
356
00:17:02,422 --> 00:17:04,191
WELL, I DON'T KNOW.
MY TRAINING
WAS IN SEDUCTION
357
00:17:04,224 --> 00:17:05,925
AND LARGE APPLIANCE
REPAIR.
358
00:17:05,958 --> 00:17:07,794
RIGHT, DICK.
SHE FIXED THE DRYER.
359
00:17:07,827 --> 00:17:09,329
YEAH, LOOK HOW GREAT
MY SHIRT CAME OUT.
360
00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:10,730
YOU STILL HAVE TO
REPLACE THE BEARINGS.
361
00:17:10,763 --> 00:17:11,564
WHAT'S THAT
GONNA RUN US?
362
00:17:11,598 --> 00:17:13,233
SHUT UP!
THE TRANSPORT SHIP
IS COMING!
363
00:17:13,266 --> 00:17:15,902
NOT FOR LONG.
STAND ASIDE!
364
00:17:16,536 --> 00:17:18,771
OH! WHAT WAS
I THINKING?
365
00:17:18,805 --> 00:17:20,707
OH, THAT SMARTS!
366
00:17:20,740 --> 00:17:22,642
WAIT, I'VE GOT
A WRENCH.
367
00:17:22,675 --> 00:17:24,144
YOU DIDN'T MENTION
THAT BEFORE.
368
00:17:24,177 --> 00:17:27,580
WELL, I DIDN'T THINK
YOU WERE GONNA HIT IT
WITH YOUR HAND.
369
00:17:35,522 --> 00:17:38,625
Computer: THE TRANSPORT SHIP
IS NOW CAREENING
TOWARD THE SUN.
370
00:17:38,658 --> 00:17:39,292
THAT'S GOOD, ISN'T IT?
371
00:17:39,326 --> 00:17:40,059
OH, YEAH.
372
00:17:40,093 --> 00:17:42,195
All: YEAH!
373
00:17:42,229 --> 00:17:46,466
Computer: THE CONTROL ROOM
WILL SELF-DESTRUCT
IN ONE MINUTE.
374
00:17:46,499 --> 00:17:50,470
All: LET'S GO!
[Screaming]
375
00:17:55,408 --> 00:17:57,076
Dick: RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!
376
00:17:57,110 --> 00:17:58,345
THE BIG WOMEN ARE ANGRY!
377
00:17:58,378 --> 00:18:01,581
SAVE YOURSELF
WHILE YOU STILL CAN!
378
00:18:01,614 --> 00:18:06,586
BOY, I MUST BE BUZZED 'CAUSE
I THOUGHT THAT WAS DICK.
379
00:18:06,619 --> 00:18:08,921
YEAH, ME, TOO.
380
00:18:10,457 --> 00:18:14,261
HAVE I EVER TOLD YOU
HOW ATTRACTIVE
I FIND YOU?
381
00:18:14,294 --> 00:18:16,095
NO.
382
00:18:16,129 --> 00:18:19,366
AND I HOPE YOU NEVER DO.
383
00:18:26,973 --> 00:18:28,275
ALL IS LOST!
384
00:18:28,308 --> 00:18:30,543
THE TRANSPORTER'S
DESTROYED.
385
00:18:30,577 --> 00:18:32,645
WE'RE STRANDED.
386
00:18:32,679 --> 00:18:35,382
THAT'S RIGHT.
SQUIRT YOUR TEARS.
YOU LOSE.
387
00:18:35,415 --> 00:18:37,417
HA HA.
388
00:18:37,450 --> 00:18:41,654
NOW WE'RE STUCK FOREVER
ON THIS TRUCK STOP
OF A PLANET.
389
00:18:41,688 --> 00:18:43,823
NOW, DON'T CRY.
IT'S A GOOD PLACE.
390
00:18:43,856 --> 00:18:45,091
YOU'LL MAKE
FRIENDS HERE.
391
00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:46,326
BELIEVE ME,
IT'S NOT SO BAD.
392
00:18:46,359 --> 00:18:49,262
OF ALL THE PLANETS
IN THE GALAXY,
IT'S ONE OF THE NICEST.
393
00:18:49,296 --> 00:18:50,463
HOW WOULD YOU KNOW?
394
00:18:50,497 --> 00:18:54,801
WELL, IT'S JUST A HUNCH.
395
00:18:54,834 --> 00:18:56,336
WHAT WILL WE DO
HERE ON EARTH?
396
00:18:56,369 --> 00:18:58,137
WE HAVE NO SKILLS.
397
00:18:58,171 --> 00:18:59,606
EXCEPT FOR EVIL MANIPULATION.
398
00:18:59,639 --> 00:19:03,243
AND THAT'S NOT A CAREER.
399
00:19:03,276 --> 00:19:04,577
NO ONE NEEDS US.
400
00:19:04,611 --> 00:19:07,113
HAS TELEVISION
TAUGHT YOU NOTHING?
401
00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:08,981
YOU'VE SEEN
OUR ADVERTISEMENTS.
402
00:19:09,015 --> 00:19:13,019
WOMEN LIKE YOU ARE
OUR UNATTAINABLE STANDARD.
403
00:19:13,052 --> 00:19:15,188
EVERY PRODUCT YOU USE...
404
00:19:15,222 --> 00:19:17,290
EVERY TREND
YOU EMBRACE...
405
00:19:17,324 --> 00:19:19,792
BECOMES OUR OBSESSION.
406
00:19:19,826 --> 00:19:22,729
YOU ARE THE SHAPELY
AND ELUSIVE CARROT
407
00:19:22,762 --> 00:19:26,599
THAT OUR HOMELY OLD HORSES
WILL CHASE FOR ETERNITY,
408
00:19:26,633 --> 00:19:28,701
OUR INSECURITIES
SPURRING US ON,
409
00:19:28,735 --> 00:19:32,071
DEMANDING THAT WE
SPEND, SPEND, SPEND!
410
00:19:32,104 --> 00:19:33,606
NO ONE NEEDS YOU?
411
00:19:33,640 --> 00:19:37,009
OUR GLOBAL ECONOMY
DEPENDS ON YOU.
412
00:19:37,043 --> 00:19:38,144
Women: WOW!
413
00:19:38,177 --> 00:19:39,412
SO, STAY...
414
00:19:39,446 --> 00:19:42,615
STAY WHERE
YOU ARE NEEDED.
415
00:19:42,649 --> 00:19:44,116
AND WHERE
YOU ARE NEEDED...
416
00:19:44,150 --> 00:19:46,018
WE GET IT!
WE GET IT!
417
00:19:46,052 --> 00:19:48,855
Announcer: WELCOME
TO OCEAN WORLD, SAN DIEGO,
418
00:19:48,888 --> 00:19:51,157
HOME OF BIG WALLY
AND LITTLE WALLY.
419
00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:53,360
WELL, THAT WAS
PRETTY GOOD.
420
00:19:53,393 --> 00:19:54,060
YEAH.
421
00:19:54,093 --> 00:19:55,127
...AS THIS HAPPY DUO
AMAZES YOU
422
00:19:55,161 --> 00:19:57,230
WITH THEIR
AQUATIC AGILITY.
423
00:19:59,966 --> 00:20:02,769
Announcer: KER-SPLASH!
HA HA HA!
424
00:20:05,438 --> 00:20:08,841
NINA, YOU KNOW
WHAT'S REALLY SAD?
425
00:20:08,875 --> 00:20:10,577
WHAT?
426
00:20:10,610 --> 00:20:13,045
I WANTED TO DROWN
JUST NOW.
427
00:20:13,079 --> 00:20:15,782
ME, TOO.
428
00:20:20,119 --> 00:20:21,888
YOU KNOW, I WONDER
IF I SHOULD HAVE
GONE TO PARIS
429
00:20:21,921 --> 00:20:23,923
WITH CHLOE
AND GABRIELLA.
430
00:20:23,956 --> 00:20:26,125
YEAH, I'M BEGINNING
TO THINK I SHOULD
HAVE GONE, TOO.
431
00:20:26,158 --> 00:20:27,894
YEAH, RIGHT.
432
00:20:27,927 --> 00:20:30,597
I'M GOING TO GO PUT ON
SOME MORE MAKEUP.
433
00:20:30,630 --> 00:20:31,864
YOU KNOW, WHEN
I WAS ON THE ROAD,
434
00:20:31,898 --> 00:20:33,400
I WAS OFFERED A JOB
REPAIRING DRYERS
435
00:20:33,433 --> 00:20:36,803
FOR THE SECOND LARGEST
LAUNDROMAT IN TUCSON.
436
00:20:36,836 --> 00:20:38,104
YOU WERE?
437
00:20:38,137 --> 00:20:40,473
BUT I TURNED IT DOWN.
438
00:20:40,507 --> 00:20:43,276
I COULDN'T LEAVE YOU.
439
00:20:44,544 --> 00:20:47,347
MASCHA, YOU GOTTA
TAKE IT.
440
00:20:47,380 --> 00:20:49,949
I COULD NEVER
LIVE WITH MYSELF
IF I HELD YOU BACK.
441
00:20:49,982 --> 00:20:51,351
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
442
00:20:51,384 --> 00:20:54,554
A GIRL LIKE YOU
COULD NEVER BE HAPPY
IN RUTHERFORD.
443
00:20:54,587 --> 00:20:57,690
IF YOU DIDN'T TAKE
IT, YOU'D REGRET IT.
444
00:20:57,724 --> 00:21:03,129
MAYBE NOT TODAY,
MAYBE NOT TOMORROW,
MAYBE NOT EVER.
445
00:21:04,230 --> 00:21:06,232
BUT YOU'LL
REGRET IT.
446
00:21:06,265 --> 00:21:09,302
WELL, IF THIS IS GOING
TO BE MY LAST NIGHT HERE,
447
00:21:09,336 --> 00:21:11,804
CAN WE
SPEND IT TOGETHER
448
00:21:11,838 --> 00:21:14,341
STARING UP
AT THE STARS?
449
00:21:14,374 --> 00:21:27,520
SURE.
450
00:21:27,554 --> 00:21:29,021
OW!
451
00:21:29,055 --> 00:21:30,723
HELLO, MARY,
HOW WAS YOUR TRIP?
452
00:21:30,757 --> 00:21:32,925
AWFUL. WE DIDN'T EVEN
MAKE IT TO THE SUPER BOWL.
453
00:21:32,959 --> 00:21:36,028
WELL, YOU PROBABLY
HAD A BETTER TIME AT
OCEAN WORLD ANYWAY.
454
00:21:36,062 --> 00:21:38,230
HOW DO YOU KNOW
WE WENT TO OCEAN WORLD?
455
00:21:38,264 --> 00:21:40,900
WHAT ELSE WOULD YOU
DO IF YOUR TICKETS
GOT STOLEN?
456
00:21:40,933 --> 00:21:42,935
WE NEVER MENTIONED
OUR TICKETS WERE STOLEN.
457
00:21:42,969 --> 00:21:45,472
WHATEVER HAPPENED,
YOU'RE PROBABLY
BETTER OFF
458
00:21:45,505 --> 00:21:47,239
NOT HAVING GONE
TO THAT GAME.
459
00:21:47,273 --> 00:21:48,675
WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?
460
00:21:48,708 --> 00:21:51,110
WELL, THE SODAS
WERE 4.95.
461
00:21:51,143 --> 00:21:53,913
AND THE HOT DOGS--
462
00:21:53,946 --> 00:21:54,947
AAH!
31064
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