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1
00:00:07,308 --> 00:00:08,642
Greg Gumbel: WELCOME BACK
TO SAN DIEGO, EVERYONE,
2
00:00:08,676 --> 00:00:10,211
THE SITE OF
SUPER BOWL XXXII,
3
00:00:10,244 --> 00:00:12,980
WON BY THE DENVER BRONCOS
31-24.
4
00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:14,882
TERRELL DAVIS,
THE MOST VALUABLE--
5
00:00:14,915 --> 00:00:16,517
RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!
6
00:00:16,550 --> 00:00:18,052
THE BIG WOMEN ARE ANGRY!
7
00:00:18,086 --> 00:00:20,054
SAVE YOURSELVES
WHILE THERE'S STILL TIME!
8
00:00:20,088 --> 00:00:21,422
SECURITY!
I NEED SECURITY!
9
00:00:21,455 --> 00:00:22,723
NO, I'M TRYING
TO WARN YOU!
10
00:00:22,756 --> 00:00:23,957
THEY'RE ALREADY HERE!
11
00:00:23,991 --> 00:00:25,759
THEY'RE READY
TO TAKE OVER!
12
00:00:25,793 --> 00:00:27,195
Dick: HOW DID
IT HAPPEN?
13
00:00:27,228 --> 00:00:29,430
IT BEGAN SO
INNOCENTLY.
14
00:00:29,463 --> 00:00:31,532
IT WAS A DAY
LIKE ANY OTHER.
15
00:00:31,565 --> 00:00:33,101
I CAN STILL REMEMBER.
16
00:00:33,134 --> 00:00:35,903
I WAS TEACHING
A CLASS IN PHYSICS.
17
00:00:35,936 --> 00:00:37,271
HIGH COMMANDER'S LOG,
18
00:00:37,305 --> 00:00:40,441
JANUARY 12,
EARTH YEAR 1998.
19
00:00:40,474 --> 00:00:41,509
THERE ARE
SOME NEW STUDENTS
20
00:00:41,542 --> 00:00:43,544
IN MY CLASS TODAY.
21
00:00:43,577 --> 00:00:44,845
I USUALLY DON'T
ALLOW STUDENTS
22
00:00:44,878 --> 00:00:46,514
TO JOIN MY CLASS
MID-SEMESTER,
23
00:00:46,547 --> 00:00:48,216
BUT I MADE AN EXCEPTION
THIS TIME
24
00:00:48,249 --> 00:00:51,219
BECAUSE THEY WALKED IN
AND SAT DOWN.
25
00:00:52,853 --> 00:00:55,756
KEPLER'S THIRD LAW
STATES WHAT? CLASS?
26
00:00:55,789 --> 00:00:58,792
UH, BODY IN MOTION
TENDS TO...
27
00:00:58,826 --> 00:01:01,462
STAY IN MOTION.
28
00:01:01,495 --> 00:01:04,165
NO, NO. BUG, I'M LOOKING
FOR A PLANETARY LAW.
29
00:01:04,198 --> 00:01:05,499
YEAH, PLANETS,
YOU KNOW,
30
00:01:05,533 --> 00:01:07,735
HEAVENLY BODIES?
31
00:01:07,768 --> 00:01:10,138
KEPLER'S THIRD LAW.
ANYBODY.
32
00:01:11,772 --> 00:01:15,176
THE SQUARE OF A PLANET'S
PERIOD OF ORBIT
33
00:01:15,209 --> 00:01:17,811
IS PROPORTIONAL
TO THE CUBE OF ITS
AVERAGE DISTANCE
34
00:01:17,845 --> 00:01:19,079
FROM THE SUN.
35
00:01:19,113 --> 00:01:22,650
TH-TH-THAT--THAT'S
VERY GOOD, UH...
36
00:01:22,683 --> 00:01:24,017
GABRIELLA.
37
00:01:24,051 --> 00:01:25,186
GABRIELLA.
38
00:01:25,219 --> 00:01:27,588
[BELL RINGS]
39
00:01:29,390 --> 00:01:32,860
SO, UH, YOU WANT TO
ORBIT AROUND MY PLANET?
40
00:01:32,893 --> 00:01:34,162
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
41
00:01:34,195 --> 00:01:35,729
YES, I DO, AND...
42
00:01:35,763 --> 00:01:37,231
YES, I WOULD.
43
00:01:37,265 --> 00:01:38,532
YOU WOULD?
44
00:01:38,566 --> 00:01:40,568
ARE YOU SURE YOU
KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
45
00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:42,069
ABSOLUTELY.
46
00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:44,772
OHHHH!
47
00:01:44,805 --> 00:01:46,006
DR. SOLOMON?
48
00:01:46,039 --> 00:01:48,742
GABRIELLA, IT WAS
A PLEASURE TO HAVE
YOU IN CLASS.
49
00:01:48,776 --> 00:01:51,512
I DON'T KNOW MUCH
ABOUT SCIENCE,
50
00:01:51,545 --> 00:01:54,415
BUT YOU ARE SUCH
A GOOD TEACHER.
51
00:01:54,448 --> 00:01:57,351
OH, SURE,
THAT'S WHAT I DO.
52
00:02:00,888 --> 00:02:02,756
HI. WHO'S
UNDER THE DRYER?
53
00:02:02,790 --> 00:02:05,493
FAST EDDIE'S
APPLIANCE REPAIR.
54
00:02:05,526 --> 00:02:07,060
MAKE SURE YOU GET
THE GUARANTEE.
55
00:02:07,094 --> 00:02:08,496
OK.
56
00:02:08,529 --> 00:02:09,397
SO, UH, EDDIE,
57
00:02:09,430 --> 00:02:11,064
YOU WANT A SODA
OR SOMETHING?
58
00:02:11,098 --> 00:02:13,033
YOU KNOW, IT MIGHT NOT
BE TOO COLD.
59
00:02:13,066 --> 00:02:15,469
I THINK THERE'S
SOMETHING WRONG
WITH THE REFRIGERATOR.
60
00:02:23,677 --> 00:02:26,514
YOU'RE NOT EDDIE.
61
00:02:26,547 --> 00:02:28,449
NO. EDDIE
GAVE ME THE SHOP.
62
00:02:28,482 --> 00:02:30,117
WHY?
63
00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:32,486
BECAUSE I ASKED FOR IT.
64
00:02:32,520 --> 00:02:34,888
REASONABLE.
65
00:02:34,922 --> 00:02:36,190
SO, UH,
66
00:02:36,224 --> 00:02:37,691
WOULD YOU LIKE
A SODA?
67
00:02:37,725 --> 00:02:39,260
THANKS.
68
00:02:39,293 --> 00:02:41,729
I LIKE IT WHEN MEN
GIVE ME THINGS.
69
00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:45,065
ME, TOO.
70
00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:50,103
SOMETIMES THE BARBER
GIVES ME A LOLLIPOP.
71
00:02:50,137 --> 00:02:53,073
DID YOU GO TO
THE BARBER TODAY?
72
00:02:53,106 --> 00:02:55,142
NO.
73
00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:57,845
DID YOU?
74
00:02:57,878 --> 00:03:00,080
YES.
75
00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:15,596
Dick: HIGH COMMANDER'S LOG,
JANUARY 14.
76
00:03:15,629 --> 00:03:18,031
FOR SOME REASON,
THE MEN OF RUTHERFORD, OHIO,
77
00:03:18,065 --> 00:03:21,068
ARE IN THE BEST SPIRITS
I'VE EVER SEEN.
78
00:03:21,101 --> 00:03:21,902
AS FOR ME,
79
00:03:21,935 --> 00:03:24,438
I'M GETTING TO KNOW
GABRIELLA BETTER.
80
00:03:36,650 --> 00:03:39,320
DICK, DON'T YOU FIND IT
JUST A LITTLE BIT ODD
81
00:03:39,353 --> 00:03:42,723
THAT A WOMAN
THAT GORGEOUS LIKES YOU?
82
00:03:42,756 --> 00:03:44,825
YOU WOULDN'T
THINK IT WAS ODD
IF I WERE MICK JAGGER.
83
00:03:44,858 --> 00:03:47,261
YEAH, BUT MICK JAGGER'S
NOT A SMALL-TOWN
COLLEGE PROFESSOR.
84
00:03:47,295 --> 00:03:49,697
EXACTLY. AND YET
HE STILL GETS WOMEN.
85
00:03:49,730 --> 00:03:52,132
NEXT TIME,
TRY THINKING BEFORE
YOU OPEN YOUR MOUTH.
86
00:03:52,165 --> 00:03:53,667
DICK, SALLY,
87
00:03:53,701 --> 00:03:55,836
I'D LIKE YOU
TO MEET CHLOE.
88
00:03:55,869 --> 00:03:56,804
Dick: HI.
89
00:03:56,837 --> 00:03:58,171
HELLO.
90
00:03:58,205 --> 00:03:59,139
I'M EXTREMELY BEAUTIFUL,
91
00:03:59,172 --> 00:04:02,776
AND I'M TOMMY'S
NEW GIRLFRIEND.
92
00:04:02,810 --> 00:04:04,278
WAIT, IS THAT
TRUE, TOMMY?
93
00:04:04,312 --> 00:04:05,513
YES.
94
00:04:05,546 --> 00:04:07,415
AND YES.
95
00:04:10,284 --> 00:04:11,619
A WOMAN LIKE THAT
IS NOT SUPPOSED
TO BE AVAILABLE
96
00:04:11,652 --> 00:04:12,786
TO A HIGH SCHOOL KID.
97
00:04:12,820 --> 00:04:15,989
THAT'S WHY WE GOT HIM
A SUBSCRIPTION TO PLAYBOY.
98
00:04:16,023 --> 00:04:17,291
AND NOW WE
CAN CANCEL IT.
99
00:04:17,325 --> 00:04:18,359
BA-BAM!
100
00:04:18,392 --> 00:04:19,660
SO WHAT ARE YOU
GONNA DO ABOUT IT?
101
00:04:19,693 --> 00:04:21,429
LET'S SEE.
OH, I KNOW.
102
00:04:21,462 --> 00:04:23,096
ENJOY THE HELL
OUT OF IT.
103
00:04:23,130 --> 00:04:24,965
AS YOU WERE,
LIEUTENANT.
104
00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:32,105
SO...
105
00:04:32,139 --> 00:04:32,873
HOW ARE THINGS?
106
00:04:32,906 --> 00:04:35,175
AH, SAME OLD,
SAME OLD.
107
00:04:35,208 --> 00:04:36,176
YOU?
108
00:04:36,209 --> 00:04:37,911
CAN'T COMPLAIN.
109
00:04:39,079 --> 00:04:40,781
YES!
YES!
110
00:05:18,051 --> 00:05:20,354
Dick: HIGH COMMANDER'S LOG,
JANUARY 15.
111
00:05:20,388 --> 00:05:22,590
GABRIELLA HAS GIVEN ME
A PHOTO OF HER.
112
00:05:22,623 --> 00:05:24,024
I'M TRYING TO DETERMINE
WHICH ANGLE
113
00:05:24,057 --> 00:05:27,695
WILL BE MOST VISIBLE
TO DR. ALBRIGHT
TO BEST MOCK HER
114
00:05:27,728 --> 00:05:31,264
FOR HAVING
BROKEN UP WITH ME.
115
00:05:31,298 --> 00:05:33,266
I THINK THAT THEY
SHOULD JUST TURN THE CLASS
116
00:05:33,300 --> 00:05:34,301
INTO A SEMINAR.
117
00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:37,104
WHAT'S THAT, YOU SAY?
WHO IS THIS
A PICTURE OF?
118
00:05:37,137 --> 00:05:38,138
WHAT?
119
00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:40,173
WELL, IF YOU'RE
GOING TO BE SO NOSY,
120
00:05:40,207 --> 00:05:41,174
I'LL TELL YOU.
121
00:05:41,208 --> 00:05:42,142
IT JUST HAPPENS TO BE--
122
00:05:42,175 --> 00:05:43,911
DR. ALBRIGHT!
DR. ALBRIGHT, LOOK!
123
00:05:43,944 --> 00:05:44,545
WHAT IS IT?
124
00:05:44,578 --> 00:05:46,046
TICKETS TO
THE SUPER BOWL!
125
00:05:46,079 --> 00:05:47,214
WHERE DID THESE
COME FROM?
126
00:05:47,247 --> 00:05:49,550
FRANK LEGGETT,
CLASS OF '94.
127
00:05:49,583 --> 00:05:50,384
OH, MY GOD.
128
00:05:50,418 --> 00:05:53,554
HIS TEAM IS PLAYING
IN THE SUPER BOWL.
129
00:05:53,587 --> 00:05:56,023
EEEEE!
130
00:06:04,031 --> 00:06:05,566
WHY WOULD HE SEND YOU
THE TICKETS?
131
00:06:05,599 --> 00:06:07,801
OH, UH, FRANK WAS
HAVING A LITTLE TROUBLE
132
00:06:07,835 --> 00:06:09,903
MAINTAINING HIS
ACADEMIC ELIGIBILITY.
133
00:06:09,937 --> 00:06:12,673
I JUST GAVE HIM
A LITTLE HELP
AND GUIDANCE.
134
00:06:12,706 --> 00:06:14,842
"YOUR CLASSES
WERE SO EASY.
135
00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:17,310
THANK YOU FOR
LETTING ME COAST."
136
00:06:18,679 --> 00:06:20,213
HE WAS A BRILLIANT STUDENT.
137
00:06:20,247 --> 00:06:22,950
HE SPELLED EASY
WITH A "Z."
138
00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:24,051
OH, WHO CARES!
139
00:06:24,084 --> 00:06:27,387
I HAVE 2 TICKETS
TO THE SUPER BOWL!
140
00:06:27,421 --> 00:06:29,757
SO, UH, WHO ARE YOU
GONNA TAKE?
141
00:06:29,790 --> 00:06:31,759
OH.
142
00:06:31,792 --> 00:06:33,927
OHH, UM...
143
00:06:34,928 --> 00:06:37,030
OH, I'M SORRY,
I'VE KNOWN NINA LONGER.
144
00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:37,931
AAHHHH!
145
00:06:37,965 --> 00:06:40,834
SAN DIEGO,
HERE I COME!
146
00:06:43,270 --> 00:06:45,405
WOOOO!
147
00:06:51,344 --> 00:06:52,813
VIDEOTAPE FOR MASHA.
148
00:06:52,846 --> 00:06:54,815
TAKE 8.
149
00:07:12,099 --> 00:07:15,068
WHO'S YOUR DADDY?
150
00:07:15,102 --> 00:07:19,139
YOU'RE MY LITTLE
SCHMOO-SCHMOO.
151
00:07:19,172 --> 00:07:20,240
WHAT THE HELL
ARE YOU DOING?
152
00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:22,543
OH, UH, MAKING A TAPE
FOR MASHA.
153
00:07:22,576 --> 00:07:23,677
IN CASE SHE NEEDS
A HARRY FIX
154
00:07:23,711 --> 00:07:26,113
IN THE MIDDLE
OF THE NIGHT.
155
00:07:26,146 --> 00:07:28,582
THAT'S SO SWEET.
156
00:07:30,150 --> 00:07:32,185
SALLY, LOOK.
157
00:07:32,219 --> 00:07:34,788
CHAMPAGNE AND CAVIAR
FOR GABRIELLA.
158
00:07:34,822 --> 00:07:36,189
WHAT'S CAVIAR?
159
00:07:36,223 --> 00:07:37,190
RUSSIAN FISH EGGS.
160
00:07:37,224 --> 00:07:38,358
VERY EXPENSIVE.
161
00:07:38,391 --> 00:07:39,426
YEAH, I KNOW.
162
00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:41,361
YOU AND TOMMY HAVE
SPENT A FORTUNE
ON THESE WOMEN.
163
00:07:41,394 --> 00:07:44,131
LOOK, $700 FOR A NECKLACE,
$400 FOR EARRINGS.
164
00:07:44,164 --> 00:07:46,734
HEY, GUYS, LOOK
WHAT I BOUGHT FOR CHLOE.
165
00:07:46,767 --> 00:07:48,435
HOW MUCH DID THAT COST?
166
00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:49,002
$50.
167
00:07:49,036 --> 00:07:50,137
$50?
168
00:07:50,170 --> 00:07:52,840
A MONTH FOR
THE NEXT 16 YEARS.
169
00:07:53,641 --> 00:07:54,675
ONE SECOND,
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
170
00:07:54,708 --> 00:07:55,943
CAN SOMEBODY
PLEASE EXPLAIN TO ME
171
00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:58,145
WHY RUTHERFORD, OHIO,
172
00:07:58,178 --> 00:08:00,147
IS SUDDENLY BRIMMING OVER
WITH BEAUTIFUL WOMEN
173
00:08:00,180 --> 00:08:02,983
JUST DYING
TO DATE LOSERS?
174
00:08:03,016 --> 00:08:04,184
WELL, I'M BETTING IT
HAS SOMETHING TO DO
175
00:08:04,217 --> 00:08:06,620
WITH EL NIÑO.
176
00:08:14,528 --> 00:08:16,664
HELLO, DON.
177
00:08:16,697 --> 00:08:18,699
YEAH, HI, SALLY.
178
00:08:20,167 --> 00:08:21,802
I SAID, "HELLO, DON."
179
00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:24,304
YEAH, I HEARD YOU.
180
00:08:30,177 --> 00:08:32,245
CAN I BUY YOU A COFFEE?
181
00:08:32,279 --> 00:08:35,916
WAIT A SECOND.
WAIT, WHAT MAKES YOU
THINK YOU CAN HAVE ME?
182
00:08:35,949 --> 00:08:39,352
LOOK AROUND.
TIMES HAVE CHANGED.
183
00:08:40,754 --> 00:08:42,322
I'M GOING TO
THE LADIES ROOM.
184
00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:45,693
ANYBODY CARE
TO JOIN ME?
185
00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:57,605
A SUCKER?
THIS IS IT?
186
00:08:57,638 --> 00:08:59,807
I'M TRYING. HE'S
NOT RESPONDING RIGHT.
187
00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:02,075
WELL, TRY HARDER.
188
00:09:02,109 --> 00:09:03,410
LADIES,
189
00:09:03,443 --> 00:09:09,382
WE WILL NOT REST
UNTIL WE HAVE ACHIEVED
THE TOTAL WORLD DOMINATION.
190
00:09:09,416 --> 00:09:11,885
EXCUSE ME, BUT
WHAT DID YOU SAY--
191
00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:16,189
OH, I'M SILLY.
192
00:09:16,223 --> 00:09:17,524
I'VE BEEN LOOKING
EVERYWHERE FOR YOU.
193
00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:20,861
YOU WEREN'T AT
THE SCHOOL OR--
OH, HELLO.
194
00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:24,698
WHY DOES YOUR WIFE
ALWAYS BOTHER US?
195
00:09:24,732 --> 00:09:27,434
NO, I'M NOT HIS WIFE.
I'M HIS SISTER, AND, UH,
RIGHT NOW,
196
00:09:27,467 --> 00:09:29,670
WE REALLY NEED TO HAVE
A LITTLE BROTHER/SISTER
CHAT.
197
00:09:29,703 --> 00:09:30,871
SALLY, ANYTHING
YOU HAVE TO SAY
TO ME
198
00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:34,174
YOU CAN
SAY IN FRONT
OF GABRIELLA.
199
00:09:34,207 --> 00:09:35,909
OK, UM...
200
00:09:35,943 --> 00:09:40,147
YOU KNOW THOSE
HEMORRHOID SUPPOSITORIES
YOU ALWAYS BUY--
201
00:09:40,180 --> 00:09:42,750
ALL RIGHT,
IN THE KITCHEN!
IN THE KITCHEN!
202
00:09:42,783 --> 00:09:46,820
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK,
MY PERFECTLY SYMMETRICAL
LITTLE SNOWFLAKE.
203
00:09:46,854 --> 00:09:48,822
MMM...
[SPEAKING RUSSIAN]
204
00:09:48,856 --> 00:09:51,024
Sally: DICK!
205
00:09:51,058 --> 00:09:52,660
HURRY UP!
I MISS MY GABY.
206
00:09:52,693 --> 00:09:55,195
I THINK I FINALLY FIGURED
OUT WHAT'S GOING ON.
207
00:09:55,228 --> 00:09:58,065
THESE WOMEN ARE
PART OF SOME STRANGE
ORGANIZED COVEN.
208
00:09:58,098 --> 00:10:00,133
THEIR GOAL IS TO
DOMINATE THE WORLD.
209
00:10:00,167 --> 00:10:02,469
I HEARD THEM, DICK.
THEY'RE DANGEROUS.
210
00:10:02,502 --> 00:10:05,739
YOU MEAN TO TELL ME
THAT SIZZLING SIBERIAN
SEX KITTEN IN THERE
211
00:10:05,773 --> 00:10:06,740
DOESN'T REALLY LOVE ME?
212
00:10:06,774 --> 00:10:07,941
NO.
213
00:10:07,975 --> 00:10:10,043
BUT IS ONLY USING ME
IN A PLOT TO DOMINATE
THE WHOLE WORLD?
214
00:10:10,077 --> 00:10:11,311
YES!
215
00:10:11,344 --> 00:10:13,380
HA HA HA HA HA!
216
00:10:13,413 --> 00:10:16,183
THAT'S
THE MOST RIDICULOUS
THING I'VE EVER HEARD.
217
00:10:16,216 --> 00:10:17,718
SHE'S MY GIRLFRIEND.
218
00:10:17,751 --> 00:10:19,252
Gabriella: DICK!
219
00:10:19,286 --> 00:10:23,390
[SPEAKING RUSSIAN]
220
00:10:23,423 --> 00:10:26,559
WELL, I GUESS
IT'S UP TO ME TO GET
TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS.
221
00:10:26,593 --> 00:10:31,965
AND IF I HAVE TO SMASH
DICK'S FANTASY AND LEAVE
HIM A BLUBBERING IDIOT,
222
00:10:31,999 --> 00:10:35,102
THEN ALL THE BETTER.
223
00:10:39,406 --> 00:10:40,473
THAT...
224
00:10:40,507 --> 00:10:42,142
AND THAT.
225
00:10:42,175 --> 00:10:44,411
OOH!
226
00:10:44,444 --> 00:10:46,479
AND THIS.
227
00:10:46,513 --> 00:10:47,280
I'M GONNA TRY IT ON.
228
00:10:47,314 --> 00:10:48,448
OOH, I'LL HELP.
229
00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:50,483
NO, YOU DON'T,
BAD BOY.
230
00:10:50,517 --> 00:10:54,621
WHY DON'T YOU GO TAKE
A MARKETING SURVEY
OR SOMETHING.
231
00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:55,723
WHAT?
232
00:10:55,756 --> 00:10:58,025
WOULD YOU LIKE TO TAKE
A MARKETING SURVEY?
233
00:10:58,058 --> 00:10:59,827
OK.
234
00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:04,698
EXCUSE ME, I CAN'T
SEEM TO FIND MY SIZE.
235
00:11:04,732 --> 00:11:05,432
AND THAT WOULD BE?
236
00:11:05,465 --> 00:11:06,499
AN 8.
237
00:11:06,533 --> 00:11:07,534
YOU HAVE 2s AND 4s,
238
00:11:07,567 --> 00:11:10,670
AND A COUPLE OF ZEROS.
239
00:11:10,704 --> 00:11:15,375
WELL, I'M SORRY, MISS,
BUT WE DON'T REALLY
CARRY THE PLUS SIZES.
240
00:11:15,408 --> 00:11:18,011
SINCE WHEN DID 8
BECOME A PLUS SIZE?
241
00:11:18,045 --> 00:11:19,246
IN THE CLOTHING
BUSINESS,
242
00:11:19,279 --> 00:11:21,815
WE HAVE TO CATER
TO THE DEMANDS
OF THE BUYER.
243
00:11:21,849 --> 00:11:23,650
WELL, I'VE BEEN SHOPPING
HERE A LONG TIME,
244
00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:26,086
AND I DEMAND SERVICE.
245
00:11:26,119 --> 00:11:30,758
YOU KNOW, HON,
IT'S REALLY UNATTRACTIVE
WHEN A HEAVY GAL YELLS.
246
00:11:31,959 --> 00:11:33,794
SO, WOULD YOU
BUY THIS PRODUCT?
247
00:11:33,827 --> 00:11:36,163
IN A HEARTBEAT.
248
00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:37,130
HOW MUCH
WOULD YOU PAY
FOR THIS PRODUCT?
249
00:11:37,164 --> 00:11:38,165
SO, WOULD YOU
GIVE UP ALL THAT
YOU HOLD DEAR
250
00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:41,168
AND DEVOTE YOUR
LIFE TO OBTAINING
THIS PRODUCT?
251
00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:43,170
SURE.
252
00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:44,704
WHAT IS
THIS PRODUCT?
253
00:11:44,738 --> 00:11:47,274
I HAVE NO IDEA.
254
00:11:51,111 --> 00:11:52,980
WHAT DO YOU SEE
WHEN YOU LOOK AT ME?
255
00:11:53,013 --> 00:11:56,149
OOH, WELL, I SEE
SOMEONE WHO'S SWEET,
256
00:11:56,183 --> 00:11:57,851
FUN TO BE WITH,
257
00:11:57,885 --> 00:12:01,889
MAYBE A LITTLE
INSECURE, BUT...
258
00:12:01,922 --> 00:12:04,758
I LIKE THAT
ABOUT YOU.
259
00:12:04,792 --> 00:12:06,559
DON'T YOU THINK
I'M BEAUTIFUL?
260
00:12:06,593 --> 00:12:09,429
WELL,
SURE YOU'RE CUTE,
261
00:12:09,462 --> 00:12:14,101
EVEN WITH THE MOLE.
262
00:12:14,134 --> 00:12:17,004
WELL, THEN, DON'T YOU
WANT TO GIVE ME ANYTHING?
263
00:12:17,037 --> 00:12:18,839
OH, OF COURSE I DO.
264
00:12:18,872 --> 00:12:21,975
I WANT TO GIVE YOU
THE MOUNTAINS
AND THE RIVER
265
00:12:22,009 --> 00:12:23,610
AND THE TREES.
266
00:12:23,643 --> 00:12:26,980
WELL, I GUESS
I WAS JUST HOPING FOR
SOMETHING MORE LIKE...
267
00:12:27,014 --> 00:12:29,116
EXTREMELY
EXPENSIVE JEWELRY.
268
00:12:29,149 --> 00:12:30,383
HMM?
269
00:12:30,417 --> 00:12:32,385
OK.
270
00:12:32,419 --> 00:12:36,323
I WAS KEEPING THIS
FOR A SURPRISE, BUT...
271
00:12:36,356 --> 00:12:40,060
I HAD THE BARBER TAKE
A LITTLE OFF THE TOP.
272
00:12:40,527 --> 00:12:42,830
JUST FOR YOU.
273
00:12:45,966 --> 00:12:48,301
SOMETIMES I FEEL
LIKE SUCH A FAILURE.
274
00:12:48,335 --> 00:12:50,370
OOH, WHY?
275
00:12:50,403 --> 00:12:53,706
HARRY, I HAVE TO
TELL YOU SOMETHING.
276
00:12:53,740 --> 00:12:56,209
I'M NOT FROM AROUND HERE.
277
00:12:58,511 --> 00:13:01,748
I'M NOT FROM
AROUND HERE, EITHER.
278
00:13:01,781 --> 00:13:04,217
I'M NOT LIKE
OTHER WOMEN.
279
00:13:04,251 --> 00:13:07,354
I'M NOT
LIKE OTHER GUYS.
280
00:13:07,387 --> 00:13:08,889
I CAN'T TELL YOU WHY.
281
00:13:08,922 --> 00:13:11,992
I CAN'T TELL YOU
WHY, EITHER.
282
00:13:13,226 --> 00:13:14,928
WE HAVE SO MUCH
IN COMMON.
283
00:13:14,962 --> 00:13:17,330
WE DO.
284
00:13:27,975 --> 00:13:29,642
Sally: LIEUTENANT'S LOG.
285
00:13:29,676 --> 00:13:31,744
YES, I HAVE ONE, TOO.
286
00:13:31,778 --> 00:13:34,948
THE COFFEE SHOP IS LOUSY
WITH THESE LEGGY PREDATORS.
287
00:13:34,982 --> 00:13:38,418
I MUST GET TO
THE BOTTOM OF THIS,
AT ANY COST.
288
00:13:58,906 --> 00:14:00,640
PREPARE FOR CONTACT
289
00:14:00,673 --> 00:14:02,642
WITH PRELL.
290
00:14:02,675 --> 00:14:04,644
[STATIC]
291
00:14:04,677 --> 00:14:08,481
[TUNING RADIO]
292
00:14:08,515 --> 00:14:11,985
LADIES, WE HAVE COME
A LONG WAY FROM VENUS.
293
00:14:12,019 --> 00:14:13,420
I WOULD LIKE
TO COMMEND YOU ALL
294
00:14:13,453 --> 00:14:16,723
ON YOUR HARD WORK
AND DEDICATION...
295
00:14:16,756 --> 00:14:19,126
IN HEELS, I MIGHT ADD.
296
00:14:19,159 --> 00:14:21,995
WHY DID YOU CHOOSE
RUTHERFORD, OHIO?
297
00:14:22,029 --> 00:14:22,963
MMM.
298
00:14:22,996 --> 00:14:26,466
BECAUSE IT IS SO
DELIGHTFULLY AVERAGE,
299
00:14:26,499 --> 00:14:28,735
A PETRI DISH
OF THE MUNDANE.
300
00:14:28,768 --> 00:14:31,138
DOES THE EXPERIMENT
GO WELL?
301
00:14:31,171 --> 00:14:35,475
EVERY MAN TESTED
SCORED 100% ON
THE WEAKNESS SCALE.
302
00:14:35,508 --> 00:14:36,743
EXCELLENT!
303
00:14:36,776 --> 00:14:41,748
NOW IT'S TIME FOR US
TO MOVE WEST TOWARDS
OUR FINAL DESTINATION:
304
00:14:41,781 --> 00:14:43,650
AREA 32.
305
00:14:43,683 --> 00:14:45,818
[TOILET FLUSHES]
306
00:14:45,852 --> 00:14:48,188
SEARCH THE STALLS!
307
00:14:50,490 --> 00:14:51,158
EXCUSE ME.
308
00:14:51,191 --> 00:14:52,192
WHY WERE YOU
HIDING IN THERE?
309
00:14:52,225 --> 00:14:53,093
I WASN'T HIDING.
310
00:14:53,126 --> 00:14:55,996
THEN WHY WEREN'T
YOUR FEET VISIBLE?
311
00:14:56,029 --> 00:14:58,198
THIS IS PRETTY
EMBARRASSING, BUT, UM...
312
00:14:58,231 --> 00:15:03,003
SOMETIMES I JAM MY FEET
AGAINST THE STALL DOOR,
313
00:15:03,036 --> 00:15:05,672
YOU KNOW, FOR LEVERAGE.
314
00:15:05,705 --> 00:15:09,909
I HAVEN'T BEEN EATING
ENOUGH GRAINS LATELY
SO IT'S BEEN--WAAAA!
315
00:15:09,943 --> 00:15:10,643
YOU'RE LYING.
316
00:15:10,677 --> 00:15:12,112
YEAH, I'M LYING.
317
00:15:12,145 --> 00:15:14,081
IT'S BECAUSE
I WANT TO JOIN YOU.
318
00:15:14,114 --> 00:15:14,881
JOIN US?
319
00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:16,116
HMM.
320
00:15:16,149 --> 00:15:19,186
YOU'VE
GOT SPLIT ENDS.
321
00:15:19,219 --> 00:15:21,921
NO, SHE'S TALL ENOUGH,
322
00:15:21,955 --> 00:15:24,524
SHE'S GOT
THE BONE STRUCTURE.
323
00:15:24,557 --> 00:15:26,259
PERHAPS WE CAN USE HER,
324
00:15:26,293 --> 00:15:30,530
THAT IS, IF SHE CAN
ENDURE OUR MAKEOVER.
325
00:15:36,336 --> 00:15:41,241
[BALALAIKA PLAYS]
[SINGING IN RUSSIAN]
326
00:15:58,325 --> 00:15:59,692
* LA LA LA LA LA
327
00:15:59,726 --> 00:16:01,128
* LA LA LA LA LA
328
00:16:01,161 --> 00:16:02,462
* LA LA LA LA LA
329
00:16:02,495 --> 00:16:03,730
* LA LA LA LA LA
330
00:16:03,763 --> 00:16:05,032
RRRRRRRRRRR!
331
00:16:05,065 --> 00:16:06,399
OY! OY! OY! OY!
332
00:16:06,433 --> 00:16:07,400
* LA LA LA LA LA
333
00:16:07,434 --> 00:16:10,503
* LA LA LA LA LA--
334
00:16:10,537 --> 00:16:12,639
UM, I JUST NEED TO GET
SOMETHING FROM MY ROOM.
335
00:16:12,672 --> 00:16:13,806
YOU MIND IF I GO ALONE?
336
00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:16,609
NOT AT ALL.
GREAT.
337
00:16:16,643 --> 00:16:18,745
OOH, MASHA!
338
00:16:18,778 --> 00:16:20,213
HELLO, HARRY.
339
00:16:20,247 --> 00:16:22,182
I DIDN'T COME
TO SEE YOU.
340
00:16:22,215 --> 00:16:24,917
I CAME TO TAKE
YOUR SISTER...
SHOPPING.
341
00:16:24,951 --> 00:16:26,186
MMM.
342
00:16:26,219 --> 00:16:27,620
LOOK, I KNOW HOW
YOU LIKE THINGS.
343
00:16:27,654 --> 00:16:30,390
AND SO, UM...
344
00:16:30,423 --> 00:16:33,526
I MADE YOU SOMETHING.
345
00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:36,996
NOT REAL GOLD,
MACARONI.
346
00:16:37,030 --> 00:16:40,633
I SPRAY PAINTED IT.
347
00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:44,271
THIS HAS ABSOLUTELY
NO MARKET VALUE.
348
00:16:44,304 --> 00:16:46,073
AND YET...
349
00:16:46,106 --> 00:16:47,874
I'M TOUCHED.
350
00:16:48,641 --> 00:16:51,978
YOU'RE EITHER
REALLY CHEAP,
351
00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:53,780
OR REALLY DEEP.
352
00:16:53,813 --> 00:16:57,550
I'D LIKE TO THINK
THAT I AM BOTH.
353
00:16:57,584 --> 00:17:00,887
I DON'T KNOW WHY,
BUT I WANT TO GIVE YOU
SOMETHING, TOO.
354
00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:03,656
OH, NO,
YOU DON'T HAVE TO.
355
00:17:12,432 --> 00:17:15,102
I HAVE TO GO NOW,
HARRY.
356
00:17:15,135 --> 00:17:17,404
GOOD-BYE.
357
00:17:24,311 --> 00:17:25,978
OK, LADIES,
LET'S GO!
358
00:17:26,012 --> 00:17:27,247
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!
WHY ARE YOU LEAVING?
359
00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:31,151
OH, I'M SORRY, DICK,
BUT I'VE GOT SOME BUSINESS
TO TAKE CARE OF.
360
00:17:31,184 --> 00:17:32,285
OUCH!
361
00:17:32,319 --> 00:17:34,020
WAIT, SALLY,
YOU CAN'T GO. YOU
HAVE TO MAKE US DINNER.
362
00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:36,123
UH, YOU HAVE TO
BUY YOUR OWN DINNER.
363
00:17:36,156 --> 00:17:37,990
UM, HERE'S
A GROCERY LIST.
364
00:17:38,024 --> 00:17:39,526
IT'S VERY IMPORTANT
THAT YOU READ IT
365
00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:41,694
SO YOU KNOW WHAT
YOU HAVE TO BUY.
LET'S MOVE!
366
00:17:41,728 --> 00:17:45,031
EVEN IF YOU'RE NOT HUNGRY,
IT'S A GOOD READ,
THAT GROCERY LIST.
367
00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:46,833
I HEARD YOU,
MISS PRONUNCIATION.
368
00:17:46,866 --> 00:17:50,069
Sally: THE LIST, DICK!
READ THE LIST!
369
00:17:50,103 --> 00:17:52,272
WELL, SHALL WE
GO GROCERY SHOPPING?
370
00:17:52,305 --> 00:17:54,607
NO, NO, THAT'S
SALLY'S JOB.
371
00:17:54,641 --> 00:17:57,877
NO, I THINK THE MOST
PRUDENT THING
FOR US TO DO NOW
372
00:17:57,910 --> 00:18:03,150
IS JUST TO, UM,
SIT HERE AND WAIT FOR
THE GIRLS TO COME BACK.
373
00:18:06,753 --> 00:18:09,889
Dick: HIGH COMMANDER'S LOG,
JANUARY 18th.
374
00:18:09,922 --> 00:18:14,294
LIKE LOCUSTS,
THEY CAME EN MASSE
WITHOUT WARNING.
375
00:18:14,327 --> 00:18:18,097
THEN, IN A CLOUD
OF SPARKLY POWDER
AND PERFUME...
376
00:18:18,131 --> 00:18:20,066
[SIGHS]
[SIGHS]
[SIGHS]
377
00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:22,469
THEY WERE GONE.
378
00:18:23,236 --> 00:18:24,204
HEY, GUYS.
379
00:18:24,237 --> 00:18:25,172
I WAS JUST WONDERING,
HAVE ANY OF YOU--
380
00:18:25,205 --> 00:18:27,073
NO, WE HAVEN'T SEEN
KIRSTA AROUND.
381
00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:28,175
WILL YOU
GIVE IT A REST?
382
00:18:28,208 --> 00:18:30,677
YOU DON'T HEAR ME
WHINING ON AND ON
ABOUT GABRIELLA.
383
00:18:30,710 --> 00:18:32,345
ONLY 24 HOURS A DAY.
384
00:18:32,379 --> 00:18:34,714
MMM, PLEASE, IT'S
NOT LIKE YOU LOST MASHA.
385
00:18:34,747 --> 00:18:36,183
MASHA, MASHA, MASHA.
386
00:18:36,216 --> 00:18:36,783
WHY I OUGHT TO--
387
00:18:36,816 --> 00:18:39,118
HEY, HEY, HEY!
388
00:18:40,753 --> 00:18:42,722
WHY DON'T WE STOP
KIDDING OURSELVES?
389
00:18:42,755 --> 00:18:44,791
WE KNEW IT COULDN'T
LAST FOREVER.
390
00:18:44,824 --> 00:18:46,593
THE THING
I MOST REGRET IS
391
00:18:46,626 --> 00:18:50,029
I DIDN'T TAKE
ANY PICTURES OF
GABRIELLA AND ME.
392
00:18:50,062 --> 00:18:51,264
NOW NO ONE'S GOING
TO BELIEVE ME
393
00:18:51,298 --> 00:18:54,201
WHEN I TELL THEM
I SLEPT WITH HER.
394
00:18:54,234 --> 00:18:55,001
YOU DIDN'T.
395
00:18:55,034 --> 00:18:58,037
YOU SEE, IT'S
STARTED ALREADY!
396
00:19:01,808 --> 00:19:04,311
JUST AS I SUSPECTED,
SHE'S A WINTER.
397
00:19:04,344 --> 00:19:06,846
OH, I ALWAYS THOUGHT
I LOOKED BEST IN
WARMER TONES.
398
00:19:06,879 --> 00:19:08,147
OH, YOU WERE WRONG.
399
00:19:08,181 --> 00:19:11,951
SHE HAS COMBINATION SKIN
AND A DRY T-ZONE.
400
00:19:11,984 --> 00:19:13,720
WE MUST EXFOLIATE.
401
00:19:13,753 --> 00:19:16,189
UH, UH, COULDN'T
WE JUST MOISTURIZE ME?
402
00:19:16,223 --> 00:19:17,424
DO YOU WANT TO BE
ONE OF US OR NOT?
403
00:19:17,457 --> 00:19:19,392
YES, YES!
DO WHATEVER YOU WANT!
404
00:19:19,426 --> 00:19:21,594
I NEED THE FIDO BENT.
405
00:19:21,628 --> 00:19:24,197
2000?
3000.
406
00:19:27,066 --> 00:19:28,801
NOW, OPEN!
407
00:19:28,835 --> 00:19:31,438
UHH! AAH!
408
00:19:34,474 --> 00:19:36,008
WHOA, LOOK, HARRY.
409
00:19:36,042 --> 00:19:37,143
IT'S MASHA'S COMPACT.
410
00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:40,480
OOH, LET ME HOLD IT.
411
00:19:40,513 --> 00:19:44,884
OOH, I CAN STILL
FEEL THE HEAT FROM
HER SLENDER FINGERS.
412
00:19:44,917 --> 00:19:46,386
[STATIC]
413
00:19:46,419 --> 00:19:49,456
Prell: HELLO?
COME IN, SASSOON,
THIS IS PRELL.
414
00:19:49,489 --> 00:19:52,225
WHAT WAS THAT?
SHE WAS HOT.
415
00:19:52,259 --> 00:19:53,059
[STATIC]
416
00:19:53,092 --> 00:19:55,662
Prell: HEY, WHO IS THAT?
417
00:19:55,695 --> 00:19:57,264
OH, MY GOD!
418
00:19:57,297 --> 00:20:00,199
DO YOU REALIZE
WHAT THIS IS?
419
00:20:00,233 --> 00:20:05,772
IT'S A MULTIPHASE
MICRO TRANSMITTER AND
ROSE-PINK BLUSH IN ONE!
420
00:20:06,806 --> 00:20:09,208
THIS PLANET DOESN'T
HAVE THAT TECHNOLOGY.
421
00:20:09,242 --> 00:20:12,512
HOLY COW!
WE WEREN'T JUST
DATING LEGGY BABES.
422
00:20:12,545 --> 00:20:16,649
WE WERE DATING
LEGGY BABES FROM BEYOND.
423
00:20:16,683 --> 00:20:18,150
OH, MY GOD!
424
00:20:18,184 --> 00:20:19,919
WE'RE ALIENS OURSELVES
AND THEY FOOLED US.
425
00:20:19,952 --> 00:20:21,288
WHAT CHANCE DO
REGULAR HUMANS HAVE?
426
00:20:21,321 --> 00:20:22,154
WHERE'S THAT
SHOPPING LIST?
427
00:20:22,188 --> 00:20:23,823
OH, WHOA!
WAIT A SECOND! WAIT.
428
00:20:23,856 --> 00:20:26,359
I THINK I PUT IT
IN THE TRASH.
429
00:20:26,393 --> 00:20:28,395
OH, WAIT, HERE IT IS.
430
00:20:28,428 --> 00:20:29,629
OH, NO!
431
00:20:29,662 --> 00:20:30,630
WHAT?
432
00:20:30,663 --> 00:20:33,966
NONE OF THE GROCERIES
WE NEED ARE ON THIS LIST.
433
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:37,604
NO, IT'S JUST SOME LONG,
INVOLVED MESSAGE ABOUT SALLY
INFILTRATING THEIR GROUP
434
00:20:37,637 --> 00:20:39,005
AND HEADING TO CALIFORNIA.
435
00:20:39,038 --> 00:20:40,573
OH.
OH.
436
00:20:40,607 --> 00:20:42,542
OHH!
OHH!
OHH!
437
00:20:42,575 --> 00:20:43,543
SHE WAS ASKING
FOR OUR HELP,
438
00:20:43,576 --> 00:20:45,211
AND WE WEREN'T
THERE FOR HER.
439
00:20:45,244 --> 00:20:47,113
OH, WHO KNOWS WHAT
THEY'RE DOING TO HER NOW.
440
00:20:47,146 --> 00:20:48,214
WE WERE SITTING
ON OUR DUFFS
441
00:20:48,247 --> 00:20:51,551
WHILE SHE'S
SINGLE-HANDEDLY
TRYING TO SAVE EARTH!
442
00:20:51,584 --> 00:20:56,289
EARTH. MAYBE IT ISN'T
THE BIGGEST PLANET
IN THE GALAXY,
443
00:20:56,323 --> 00:20:59,125
OR THE ROUNDEST...
444
00:20:59,158 --> 00:21:01,027
BUT I'VE COME TO
THINK OF IT AS HOME.
445
00:21:01,060 --> 00:21:03,363
I WAS GONNA
RETIRE HERE,
446
00:21:03,396 --> 00:21:06,132
YOU KNOW,
IN BOCA.
447
00:21:07,066 --> 00:21:09,502
POOR MASHA,
IN THEIR CLUTCHES.
448
00:21:09,536 --> 00:21:11,037
SHE'S ONE OF THEM,
YOU IDIOT!
449
00:21:11,070 --> 00:21:13,406
WE'VE GOT TO SAVE EARTH,
AND WE'VE GOTTA SAVE SALLY!
450
00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:15,342
LET'S GO!
451
00:21:15,375 --> 00:21:16,809
WAIT!
452
00:21:16,843 --> 00:21:19,679
WHAT IF WE RUN INTO
ONE OF THOSE CUNNING,
MANIPULATIVE WOMEN?
453
00:21:19,712 --> 00:21:22,449
YOU'RE RIGHT.
EVERYONE GRAB A COMB
AND A DINNER JACKET.
454
00:21:22,482 --> 00:21:24,317
LET'S GO!
30863
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