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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,508 --> 00:00:08,642 UH-HUH. 2 00:00:08,676 --> 00:00:10,344 YEAH. UH-HUH. 3 00:00:10,378 --> 00:00:12,513 R-REALLY? THIS WEEKEND? 4 00:00:12,546 --> 00:00:14,515 WELL, I CAN'T SAY NO TO YOU. 5 00:00:14,548 --> 00:00:16,084 YOU'RE MARY'S MOTHER. 6 00:00:16,117 --> 00:00:18,018 YEAH, IT SOUNDS WONDERFUL. 7 00:00:18,052 --> 00:00:20,521 NO, NO. MARY DIDN'T TELL ME A THING. 8 00:00:20,554 --> 00:00:21,555 DIDN'T TELL WHO WHAT THING? 9 00:00:21,589 --> 00:00:22,923 YEAH, I'VE NOTICED THAT ABOUT HER, TOO. 10 00:00:22,956 --> 00:00:24,225 IT'S OFF-PUTTING, ISN'T IT? 11 00:00:24,258 --> 00:00:25,859 WHO'S THAT? 12 00:00:25,893 --> 00:00:27,261 IT SOUNDS TERRIFIC, MARTHA. 13 00:00:27,295 --> 00:00:28,962 MARTHA. MY MOTHER. 14 00:00:28,996 --> 00:00:30,998 YEAH. OH, GOD, NO! 15 00:00:36,470 --> 00:00:37,805 WHAT DID YOU JUST DO?! 16 00:00:37,838 --> 00:00:39,840 YOU DIDN'T TELL ME THAT I WAS GONNA MEET YOUR PARENTS THIS WEEKEND. 17 00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:40,908 YOU'RE NOT! 18 00:00:40,941 --> 00:00:42,410 WELL, THEY SAID THAT YOU'D MADE THE PLANS. 19 00:00:42,443 --> 00:00:45,313 A--A MONTH AGO, WHEN WE WERE ENGAGED. 20 00:00:45,346 --> 00:00:48,582 THAT WOULD BE 2 WEEKS BEFORE YOU RUINED EVERYTHING. 21 00:00:48,616 --> 00:00:51,152 OH, MARY, IT'LL BE FUN. 22 00:00:51,185 --> 00:00:53,154 TELLING MY PARENTS MY ENGAGEMENT IS OFF 23 00:00:53,187 --> 00:00:55,356 IS NOT MY IDEA OF FUN. 24 00:00:55,389 --> 00:00:56,390 WHAT, YOU HAVEN'T TOLD THEM YET? 25 00:00:56,424 --> 00:00:57,791 ARE YOU KIDDING? 26 00:00:57,825 --> 00:01:00,561 FOR YEARS THEY PREDICTED I'D BECOME AN OLD SPINSTER 27 00:01:00,594 --> 00:01:01,662 WHO SITS ALONE EVERY NIGHT 28 00:01:01,695 --> 00:01:04,031 DRINKING WINE AND TALKING TO HER CAT. 29 00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:05,566 DOCTOR-- 30 00:01:05,599 --> 00:01:07,801 DR. ALBRIGHT, THEY WERE OUT OF THAT ZINFANDEL YOU LIKE, 31 00:01:07,835 --> 00:01:10,471 BUT I DID PICK UP YOUR DOG FOOD. 32 00:01:10,871 --> 00:01:12,606 I HAVE ONE DOG! 33 00:01:12,640 --> 00:01:15,809 MARY, PLEASE! I WON'T SAY A WORD ABOUT OUR BREAKUP. 34 00:01:15,843 --> 00:01:19,380 I CAN'T. I'M STILL IN DENIAL. 35 00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:21,982 DO YOU THINK I WANT TO SPEND MY WEEKEND 36 00:01:22,015 --> 00:01:24,017 PRETENDING TO BE ENGAGED TO A LUNATIC 37 00:01:24,051 --> 00:01:26,854 RATHER THAN TELL MY PARENTS THE TRUTH? 38 00:01:29,590 --> 00:01:31,125 I'LL PICK YOU UP IN THE MORNING. 39 00:01:31,159 --> 00:01:33,093 WE'RE JUST PRETENDING! 40 00:01:33,127 --> 00:01:35,429 IF YOU DARE TO TRY AND TOUCH ME, 41 00:01:35,463 --> 00:01:37,398 I WILL CHOKE THE LIFE OUT OF YOU. 42 00:01:37,431 --> 00:01:40,401 WELL, WHAT IF I BUMP INTO YOU ACCIDENTALLY? 43 00:01:40,434 --> 00:01:41,669 FINE. 44 00:01:41,702 --> 00:01:43,704 IN THE SHOWER? 45 00:01:45,273 --> 00:01:49,109 BE IN YOUR DRIVEWAY AT 8:00 TOMORROW. 46 00:01:49,143 --> 00:01:51,179 TOMORROW? YOU CAN'T GO AWAY. 47 00:01:51,212 --> 00:01:53,214 YOU PROMISED YOU'D HELP ME MOVE OUT OF MY APARTMENT. 48 00:01:53,247 --> 00:01:55,048 OH, I'M SO SORRY, NINA. 49 00:01:55,082 --> 00:01:55,883 OH, THANKS A LOT. 50 00:01:55,916 --> 00:01:57,651 NOW I SEE WHO'S IMPORTANT AROUND HERE. 51 00:01:57,685 --> 00:02:00,688 UH, YES, THAT WOULD BE ME. 52 00:02:00,721 --> 00:02:02,990 OK. FINE. BUT THE NEXT TIME 53 00:02:03,023 --> 00:02:05,092 YOU CAN'T SEPARATE THE CHEESE SLICES IN YOUR LUNCHABLES, 54 00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:07,761 DON'T COME RUNNING TO ME. 55 00:02:09,096 --> 00:02:11,098 WHAT HAVE I DONE?! 56 00:02:46,934 --> 00:02:50,238 TOMMY! HARRY! SALLY! 57 00:02:50,271 --> 00:02:51,472 WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS JACKET? 58 00:02:51,505 --> 00:02:54,742 MMM, IT'S A LITTLE TWEEDY. WHOA! 59 00:02:54,775 --> 00:02:57,144 BUT YOU WIN ME OVER WITH THE PATCHES. 60 00:02:57,177 --> 00:02:58,846 OH. 61 00:02:58,879 --> 00:03:00,281 I'VE GOT TO MAKE A GOOD IMPRESSION 62 00:03:00,314 --> 00:03:02,216 WHEN I MEET MARY'S PARENTS. 63 00:03:02,250 --> 00:03:03,584 MARY ALBRIGHT'S PARENTS? 64 00:03:03,617 --> 00:03:04,385 Tommy: THEY'RE STILL ALIVE? 65 00:03:04,418 --> 00:03:06,153 MY GOD, THEY MUST BE SO OLD. 66 00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:07,788 PROBABLY HAD HER REALLY YOUNG. 67 00:03:07,821 --> 00:03:09,957 NOW STOP IT! THIS IS IMPORTANT. 68 00:03:09,990 --> 00:03:11,659 I HAVE TO WIN THEIR LOVE AND RESPECT. 69 00:03:11,692 --> 00:03:15,062 WHY? YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE MARY'S LOVE AND RESPECT. 70 00:03:15,095 --> 00:03:16,063 NOT AT THE MOMENT, 71 00:03:16,096 --> 00:03:18,766 BUT I'M HOPING THAT IF I WIN HER PARENTS OVER, 72 00:03:18,799 --> 00:03:19,700 SHE'LL SEE ME IN A NEW LIGHT 73 00:03:19,733 --> 00:03:21,602 AND FALL IN LOVE ALL OVER AGAIN. 74 00:03:21,635 --> 00:03:23,404 DICK, THAT'S GENIUS! 75 00:03:23,437 --> 00:03:24,438 I DON'T KNOW. 76 00:03:24,472 --> 00:03:26,173 I'D RATHER HAVE A RED-HOT POKER STUCK IN MY EYE 77 00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:29,477 THAN HANG OUT WITH MY GIRLFRIEND'S MOM AND DAD. 78 00:03:29,510 --> 00:03:32,380 HEY, WHAT IF HER PARENTS HAVE A RED-HOT POKER 79 00:03:32,413 --> 00:03:36,917 AND THEY SURPRISE YOU BY STICKING IT IN YOUR EYE? 80 00:03:39,653 --> 00:03:40,488 NO. 81 00:03:40,521 --> 00:03:42,290 NO, I'M SURE THEY'RE LOVELY PEOPLE. 82 00:03:42,323 --> 00:03:44,325 AFTER ALL, THEY MIXED AND POURED 83 00:03:44,358 --> 00:03:46,894 THE DNA COCKTAIL THAT IS... 84 00:03:46,927 --> 00:03:49,797 MARY ALBRIGHT. 85 00:03:49,830 --> 00:03:52,199 STILL, DICK, JUST TO BE SAFE, WE SHOULD GO WITH YOU. 86 00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:53,233 OH, NO, NO. 87 00:03:53,267 --> 00:03:54,568 I'VE GOT A MUCH MORE IMPORTANT ASSIGNMENT FOR YOU. 88 00:03:54,602 --> 00:03:57,505 CLEANING UP OUR PARKS AND STREAMS? 89 00:03:57,538 --> 00:03:58,772 NO. NINA'S MOVING, 90 00:03:58,806 --> 00:04:00,474 AND I VOLUNTEERED YOU TO HELP HER. 91 00:04:00,508 --> 00:04:03,311 WHAT, YOU MEAN WE HAVE TO LUG HEAVY BOXES ALL WEEKEND? 92 00:04:03,344 --> 00:04:04,177 YES. 93 00:04:04,211 --> 00:04:07,114 WELL, DO WE GET TO GO THROUGH HER STUFF? 94 00:04:07,147 --> 00:04:08,282 HOW COULD YOU NOT? 95 00:04:08,316 --> 00:04:10,150 ALL RIGHT, THEN. 96 00:04:14,555 --> 00:04:16,790 WELL, WHAT DO YOU THINK? 97 00:04:16,824 --> 00:04:18,459 DOES MARY LOOK MORE LIKE ME OR GEORGE? 98 00:04:18,492 --> 00:04:20,060 WELL, MARTHA, I DID NOTICE 99 00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:22,630 THAT YOU AND MARY HAVE THE SAME PATRICIAN NOSE. 100 00:04:22,663 --> 00:04:24,398 WHOA. 101 00:04:24,432 --> 00:04:26,834 I THINK SHE DOES FAVOR MARTHA'S SIDE OF THE FAMILY 102 00:04:26,867 --> 00:04:28,001 MORE THAN MINE. 103 00:04:28,035 --> 00:04:31,305 BUT AT LEAST SHE GOT HER FATHER'S GENEROUS BUTT. 104 00:04:36,143 --> 00:04:38,646 MARY, THAT EYE SHADOW 105 00:04:38,679 --> 00:04:40,314 MAKES YOU LOOK TIRED. 106 00:04:40,348 --> 00:04:42,015 THANK YOU, MOTHER. 107 00:04:42,049 --> 00:04:44,418 JUST TRYING TO HELP. 108 00:04:44,452 --> 00:04:45,619 MARTHA, DARLING, 109 00:04:45,653 --> 00:04:48,121 WHY DON'T YOU RUN AND GET THE KIDS THOSE SANDWICHES? 110 00:04:48,155 --> 00:04:51,091 WELL, YES, OF COURSE, GEORGE. 111 00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:54,395 I'LL RUN AND GET THE KIDS THOSE SANDWICHES. 112 00:04:54,428 --> 00:04:58,599 I KEEP FORGETTING YOU WERE PARALYZED IN THE WAR. 113 00:05:02,536 --> 00:05:04,638 I REALLY SHOULD GO AND HELP HER. 114 00:05:04,672 --> 00:05:09,242 I WOULDN'T WANT HER TO SLIP AND FALL INTO A BOTTLE OF GIN. 115 00:05:10,277 --> 00:05:11,745 THEY'RE VERY NICE. 116 00:05:11,779 --> 00:05:13,681 NO, THEY'RE NOT. 117 00:05:13,714 --> 00:05:15,182 THEY'RE SOUR, MISERABLE PEOPLE 118 00:05:15,215 --> 00:05:16,617 WHO DON'T LIKE ANYBODY. 119 00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:17,718 OH, I SHOULD HAVE BROUGHT FLOWERS. 120 00:05:17,751 --> 00:05:18,986 DO THEY LIKE FLOWERS? I CAN GET FLOWERS. 121 00:05:19,019 --> 00:05:20,554 STOP WORRYING. 122 00:05:20,588 --> 00:05:22,390 THIS TIME TOMORROW WE'LL BE ON OUR WAY HOME, 123 00:05:22,423 --> 00:05:23,757 AND YOU'LL NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN. 124 00:05:23,791 --> 00:05:25,793 I WOULDN'T BET ON IT. 125 00:05:25,826 --> 00:05:27,795 WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN? 126 00:05:30,097 --> 00:05:30,964 I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, DICK, 127 00:05:30,998 --> 00:05:32,666 BUT WHEN I EAT HAM, I GOTTA HAVE A BEER. 128 00:05:32,700 --> 00:05:34,702 OH, AND WHEN I DRINK BEER, I GOTTA HAVE HAM. 129 00:05:34,735 --> 00:05:37,438 HAM AND BEER. THAT'S US, GEORGE. 130 00:05:45,913 --> 00:05:48,315 AREN'T YOU DONE YET? 131 00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:50,818 YEP, SNUG AS A BUG. 132 00:05:56,624 --> 00:06:00,027 OK, I THINK I MISSED A SPOT. 133 00:06:00,060 --> 00:06:01,962 GUYS, COULD YOU PLEASE BE CAREFUL? 134 00:06:01,995 --> 00:06:03,397 YES, ABSOLUTELY. 135 00:06:03,431 --> 00:06:05,198 STARTING NOW. 136 00:06:06,099 --> 00:06:08,268 NINA, THIS PLACE IS SO GREAT. 137 00:06:08,301 --> 00:06:10,471 I MEAN, IT'S SO NICE AND CLEAN. 138 00:06:10,504 --> 00:06:13,641 WELL, IT'S EASY TO KEEP THINGS NEAT WHEN YOU LIVE ALONE. 139 00:06:13,674 --> 00:06:15,142 THE SMELL, IT SMELLS LIKE... 140 00:06:15,175 --> 00:06:15,643 [INHALES DEEPLY] 141 00:06:15,676 --> 00:06:17,478 LIKE A MALL OR... 142 00:06:17,511 --> 00:06:19,413 OR THE BAKERY OR... 143 00:06:19,447 --> 00:06:22,783 MY HOUSE SMELLS LIKE FEET OR CHEESE OR 144 00:06:22,816 --> 00:06:23,484 ROTTEN FOOD-- 145 00:06:23,517 --> 00:06:26,820 I--I GET IT. SALLY, I GET IT. 146 00:06:28,989 --> 00:06:31,725 OH, MARTHA, THIS IS THE MOST DELICIOUS, 147 00:06:31,759 --> 00:06:35,028 EXQUISITELY FLAVORED, PALATE-TEASING DISH I'VE EVER TASTED. 148 00:06:35,062 --> 00:06:36,630 WHAT DO YOU CALL IT AGAIN? 149 00:06:36,664 --> 00:06:39,166 BUSY GAL'S LASAGNA. 150 00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:41,535 I MUST GET THE RECIPE. 151 00:06:41,569 --> 00:06:44,705 IT'S NOODLES WITH KETCHUP ON 'EM. 152 00:06:46,139 --> 00:06:47,307 GEORGE... 153 00:06:47,340 --> 00:06:49,009 SHUT UP. 154 00:06:49,042 --> 00:06:51,378 DON'T GIVE AWAY HER RECIPES, GEORGE. 155 00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:52,780 THANK YOU, DICK. 156 00:06:52,813 --> 00:06:55,415 NOW, MARY, HOW ABOUT IT? MORE? 157 00:06:55,449 --> 00:06:57,050 UH, NO, MOTHER, I HAVE ENOUGH. 158 00:06:57,084 --> 00:06:58,351 SHE'S ON ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE 159 00:06:58,385 --> 00:07:00,187 CRAZY CRASH DIETS, RIGHT, DICK? 160 00:07:00,220 --> 00:07:02,222 WELL, I JUST DON'T THINK SHE LIKES YOUR LASAGNA 161 00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:03,757 AS MUCH AS I DO, MARTHA. 162 00:07:03,791 --> 00:07:05,058 YES, I DO, 163 00:07:05,092 --> 00:07:06,694 AND I'M NOT ON A DIET. 164 00:07:06,727 --> 00:07:09,029 I'M HAPPY THE WAY I AM. 165 00:07:09,062 --> 00:07:11,565 WELL, THERE COMES A POINT WHEN YOU JUST HAVE TO ACCEPT 166 00:07:11,599 --> 00:07:13,834 WHAT THE GOOD LORD HAS GIVEN YOU. 167 00:07:15,202 --> 00:07:17,505 LORD KNOWS I HAVE. 168 00:07:19,473 --> 00:07:21,041 COME ON, DICK, LET'S SWEETEN UP YOUR DRINK. 169 00:07:21,074 --> 00:07:22,810 MMM. RIGHT. RIGHT. 170 00:07:22,843 --> 00:07:25,145 GEORGE, I'M RIGHT BEHIND YOU. 171 00:07:26,313 --> 00:07:28,048 WELL, MARY... 172 00:07:28,081 --> 00:07:31,819 YOUR DADDY AND I ARE JUST TICKLED PINK 173 00:07:31,852 --> 00:07:34,054 THAT DICK IS THE ONE. 174 00:07:34,087 --> 00:07:35,222 THE ONE WHAT? 175 00:07:35,255 --> 00:07:37,257 OH, MARY MARGARET, 176 00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:40,961 YOU KNOW VERY WELL THE ONE WHAT. 177 00:07:40,994 --> 00:07:41,595 MR. RIGHT. 178 00:07:41,629 --> 00:07:43,230 OH. YEAH. 179 00:07:43,263 --> 00:07:45,465 THAT'S THE PLAN. 180 00:07:45,499 --> 00:07:47,801 I'M JUST ECSTATIC. 181 00:07:47,835 --> 00:07:50,103 I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU'RE NOT A LITTLE MORE EXCITED. 182 00:07:50,137 --> 00:07:52,405 OH, I AM, MOTHER. 183 00:07:52,439 --> 00:07:56,644 SOMETIMES I GET SO GIDDY I CAN HARDLY CONTAIN MYSELF. 184 00:07:57,645 --> 00:08:02,249 BUT YOU KNOW, YOU CAN ONLY SCREAM SO LONG BEFORE YOU BLACK OUT! 185 00:08:14,394 --> 00:08:16,930 I'M NINA. 186 00:08:16,964 --> 00:08:20,233 AND I'M SPECIAL BECAUSE I'M MOVING. 187 00:08:20,267 --> 00:08:20,868 I'M SALLY. 188 00:08:20,901 --> 00:08:23,370 I THINK I AM SO GREAT. 189 00:08:23,403 --> 00:08:26,039 OH, YOUR HAIR LOOKS REALLY GOOD TODAY, GIRLFRIEND. 190 00:08:26,073 --> 00:08:29,009 SHUT UP. NO, IT DOESN'T. LET'S GO GET SOME MAGAZINES. 191 00:08:36,416 --> 00:08:37,117 WELL... THAT'S ALL THE UNDERWEAR. 192 00:08:37,150 --> 00:08:38,518 LET'S GET IT DOWN TO THE TRUCK. 193 00:08:38,552 --> 00:08:40,187 OK. 194 00:08:44,925 --> 00:08:46,994 GOD, I'M GONNA MISS THIS PLACE. 195 00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:48,929 YEAH. WHY ARE YOU MOVING, 196 00:08:48,962 --> 00:08:50,598 BIG-ASS RATS? 197 00:08:52,132 --> 00:08:53,400 NO. THEY RAISED THE RENT. 198 00:08:53,433 --> 00:08:54,702 THAT'S TOO BAD. 199 00:08:54,735 --> 00:08:56,770 IT'S SO BIG AND BRIGHT. 200 00:08:56,804 --> 00:08:58,071 MY ROOM ONLY HAS ONE WINDOW, 201 00:08:58,105 --> 00:08:59,607 AND IT LOOKS OUT ON THE SLAUGHTERHOUSE, 202 00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:01,108 AND SOMETIMES A BROWN MIST FLOATS IN 203 00:09:01,141 --> 00:09:03,811 AND MAKES MY HAIR ALL GREASY. 204 00:09:04,612 --> 00:09:07,748 IF I'D HAVE KNOWN THAT, YOU COULD'VE MOVED ON IN HERE WITH ME. 205 00:09:07,781 --> 00:09:09,182 US? 206 00:09:09,216 --> 00:09:10,283 ROOMMATES? 207 00:09:10,317 --> 00:09:11,952 JUST YOU AND ME, NO GUYS? 208 00:09:11,985 --> 00:09:14,287 YEAH. BUT IT'S TOO LATE FOR THAT, I GUESS. 209 00:09:14,321 --> 00:09:16,489 NO! NO, IT'S NOT. 210 00:09:16,523 --> 00:09:18,025 FINALLY, THE LAST BOX. 211 00:09:18,058 --> 00:09:19,159 MY BACK IS KILLING ME. 212 00:09:19,192 --> 00:09:20,928 OH. Y-YOU GOTTA KEEP IT LOOSE. 213 00:09:20,961 --> 00:09:22,029 HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DO? 214 00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:24,798 YOU GO DOWN, GET ALL OF NINA'S STUFF OFF THE TRUCK, 215 00:09:24,832 --> 00:09:25,933 AND THEN YOU GO BACK TO OUR PLACE, 216 00:09:25,966 --> 00:09:28,135 GET MY STUFF, AND BRING IT BACK HERE. 217 00:09:28,168 --> 00:09:29,302 BOY. YOU REALLY THINK IT'LL WORK? 218 00:09:29,336 --> 00:09:31,004 WELL, I'M WILLING TO GIVE IT A SHOT. 219 00:09:31,038 --> 00:09:32,439 ACTUALLY, MY BACK FEELS FINE. 220 00:09:32,472 --> 00:09:34,942 OH, GET MOVING! COME ON. 221 00:09:35,809 --> 00:09:37,010 I'LL TELL YOU ONE THING, DICK. 222 00:09:37,044 --> 00:09:41,181 THIS IS ONE BAR I'LL NEVER GET THROWN OUT OF. 223 00:09:41,214 --> 00:09:42,950 OH, DICK, I'LL SHOW YOU WHERE THE LINENS ARE 224 00:09:42,983 --> 00:09:45,018 SO YOU CAN MAKE UP THE COUCH. 225 00:09:45,052 --> 00:09:45,986 THE COUCH? 226 00:09:46,019 --> 00:09:48,321 NOW PUMPKIN, 227 00:09:48,355 --> 00:09:50,423 IT'S PERFECTLY OK WITH DADDY AND ME 228 00:09:50,457 --> 00:09:52,592 IF YOU AND DICK SHARE THE SAME ROOM. 229 00:09:52,626 --> 00:09:54,027 NO! NO, I-IT'S NOT. 230 00:09:54,061 --> 00:09:56,496 I KNOW HOW UNCOMFORTABLE IT MAKES YOU FEEL. 231 00:09:56,529 --> 00:09:57,765 REALLY? 232 00:09:57,798 --> 00:10:00,400 NEVER STOPPED YOU BEFORE. 233 00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:01,735 OH, BUT, MOM, I-- 234 00:10:01,769 --> 00:10:02,836 DON'T WORRY, PRINCESS. 235 00:10:02,870 --> 00:10:04,471 NO, IT'S FINE WITH US. 236 00:10:04,504 --> 00:10:07,340 ABOUT TIME THIS HOUSE SAW SOME ACTION. 237 00:10:07,374 --> 00:10:08,208 NO, DAD, REALLY, I--I-- 238 00:10:08,241 --> 00:10:09,176 SAY NO MORE, GEORGE! 239 00:10:09,209 --> 00:10:11,144 IT'S SETTLED. MARY AND I WILL SHARE A ROOM. 240 00:10:11,178 --> 00:10:12,612 DONE DEAL. 241 00:10:12,646 --> 00:10:14,481 NOW LET'S GO OUTSIDE AND SMOKE THESE THINGS. 242 00:10:14,514 --> 00:10:16,349 I'VE GOT SOME FUNNY STORIES ABOUT MARY. 243 00:10:16,383 --> 00:10:18,551 OH HO HO HO HO HO! 244 00:10:18,585 --> 00:10:20,754 ME, TOO. 245 00:10:24,591 --> 00:10:26,894 OH, I CANNOT WAIT TO MOVE OUT ON MY OWN. 246 00:10:26,927 --> 00:10:28,161 IT'S NOTHING PERSONAL. 247 00:10:28,195 --> 00:10:30,964 IT'S JUST THAT YOU GUYS ARE REALLY, REALLY ANNOYING, YOU KNOW? 248 00:10:30,998 --> 00:10:32,766 YEAH. ENOUGH SAID. 249 00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:35,335 SALLY, WE'RE ALL VERY HAPPY FOR YOU, 250 00:10:35,368 --> 00:10:37,604 AND I KNOW THAT THERE ARE GONNA BE SOME GOOD TIMES, 251 00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:41,909 BUT THERE WILL ALSO BE SOME LONELY ONES, AND SO... 252 00:10:41,942 --> 00:10:44,878 I WANT YOU TO HAVE MY GNOME. 253 00:10:46,546 --> 00:10:47,748 NO, HARRY, YOU SEE, 254 00:10:47,781 --> 00:10:51,251 I'M MOVING TO GET AWAY FROM YOUR CRAP. 255 00:10:51,284 --> 00:10:54,722 OK! I GOT MY GNOME BACK. 256 00:10:54,755 --> 00:10:56,589 YOU KNOW, DICK WOULD NEVER GIVE YOU PERMISSION 257 00:10:56,623 --> 00:10:57,691 TO DO THIS. 258 00:10:57,725 --> 00:11:01,795 YEAH. THAT'S WHY I'M DOING IT WHILE HE'S OUT OF TOWN. 259 00:11:01,829 --> 00:11:03,396 WELL, ON THE PLUS SIDE, 260 00:11:03,430 --> 00:11:06,066 AT LEAST WE CAN TURN SALLY'S ROOM INTO A STORAGE AREA. 261 00:11:06,099 --> 00:11:08,601 WELL, WAIT A MINUTE. I DON'T HAVE A ROOM. 262 00:11:08,635 --> 00:11:10,938 OR MAYBE A COOL LITTLE MUSIC ROOM 263 00:11:10,971 --> 00:11:12,339 WITH SOME BLACK-LIGHT POSTERS. 264 00:11:12,372 --> 00:11:16,209 HELLO. MAN WITHOUT A BEDROOM HERE. 265 00:11:16,243 --> 00:11:18,779 YOU KNOW WHAT'D BE EVEN BETTER? 266 00:11:18,812 --> 00:11:20,513 A SKEEBALL PARLOR. 267 00:11:20,547 --> 00:11:22,049 SKEEBALL? 268 00:11:22,082 --> 00:11:23,350 IN OUR HOME? 269 00:11:23,383 --> 00:11:24,217 YES! 270 00:11:24,251 --> 00:11:26,519 YEAH! 271 00:11:26,553 --> 00:11:30,157 NOW HERE'S LITTLE MARY'S SIXTH BIRTHDAY PARTY. 272 00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:31,925 OH, YOU GOT HER A PONY. 273 00:11:31,959 --> 00:11:34,661 NO. THAT'S MARY. 274 00:11:37,630 --> 00:11:40,734 OH, LITTLE MARY'S CRYING. 275 00:11:40,768 --> 00:11:43,170 SHE DIDN'T WANT TO SHARE A SHEET CAKE 276 00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:46,139 WITH THE OTHER KIDS. 277 00:11:46,173 --> 00:11:48,375 OH, HERE'S THE BIG SPELLING BEE. 278 00:11:48,408 --> 00:11:49,977 MARY'S WORD IS "BECAUSE." 279 00:11:50,010 --> 00:11:51,444 WATCH HER SWEAT. 280 00:11:51,478 --> 00:11:52,746 [MARTHA LAUGHS] 281 00:11:52,780 --> 00:11:53,781 George: "B" 282 00:11:53,814 --> 00:11:54,815 "E" 283 00:11:54,848 --> 00:11:55,916 "C" 284 00:11:55,949 --> 00:11:57,084 "A" 285 00:11:57,117 --> 00:11:59,152 "W"! 286 00:12:03,123 --> 00:12:05,425 AH! MAGPIE. 287 00:12:05,458 --> 00:12:08,728 WHY'D YOU MISS SUCH AN EASY WORD? 288 00:12:08,762 --> 00:12:10,864 BECAUSE. 289 00:12:10,898 --> 00:12:13,566 SHE CAN SAY IT. SHE JUST CAN'T SPELL IT. 290 00:12:15,168 --> 00:12:18,071 YOU'RE A HOOT AND A HALF, SON. 291 00:12:18,105 --> 00:12:20,340 THANK YOU, DADDY. 292 00:12:22,642 --> 00:12:24,377 DICK, CAN I SEE YOU IN THE BEDROOM? 293 00:12:24,411 --> 00:12:27,214 OH, COMING, MAGPIE. 294 00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:29,582 OH, YEAH. 295 00:12:32,419 --> 00:12:34,888 WONDERFUL. HE CALLED ME SON. 296 00:12:34,922 --> 00:12:36,023 MY PLAN IS WORKING. 297 00:12:36,056 --> 00:12:38,691 YOUR PLAN TO PISS ME OFF? 298 00:12:38,725 --> 00:12:41,628 NO. MY PLAN TO WIN THEIR HEARTS AND THEN YOURS. 299 00:12:41,661 --> 00:12:44,464 OH, SO BY JOINING IN MY PARENTS' PSYCHO MIND GAMES 300 00:12:44,497 --> 00:12:46,466 AND MOCKING MY FAT CHILDHOOD, 301 00:12:46,499 --> 00:12:48,301 YOU THOUGHT I'D LOVE YOU AGAIN? 302 00:12:48,335 --> 00:12:50,703 PSYCHO MIND GAMES? I--WH-- 303 00:12:50,737 --> 00:12:53,573 LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MY WONDERFUL PARENTS. 304 00:12:53,606 --> 00:12:55,575 IN 1961, MY FATHER 305 00:12:55,608 --> 00:12:57,277 HAD AN AFFAIR WITH A STEWARDESS. 306 00:12:57,310 --> 00:12:58,278 WELL... 307 00:12:58,311 --> 00:13:00,580 YOU MEAN A FLIGHT ATTENDANT. 308 00:13:01,849 --> 00:13:03,083 NO. 309 00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:05,785 A STEWARDESS. 310 00:13:05,819 --> 00:13:08,455 THAT DESPICABLE DOG! 311 00:13:08,488 --> 00:13:09,923 MY MOTHER FOUND THEM TOGETHER, 312 00:13:09,957 --> 00:13:11,324 AND SHE WAS SO WONDERFUL, 313 00:13:11,358 --> 00:13:13,827 SHE DUMPED IT ALL ON ME. 314 00:13:13,861 --> 00:13:15,462 ME, DICK, 315 00:13:15,495 --> 00:13:16,429 A LITTLE GIRL. 316 00:13:16,463 --> 00:13:19,499 OH, MARY, WHAT AN AWFUL PICTURE-- 317 00:13:19,532 --> 00:13:22,169 A BITTER OLD DRUNK DESCRIBING SOME TAWDRY AFFAIR 318 00:13:22,202 --> 00:13:24,371 WHILE SPOON-FEEDING YOU STRAINED BANANAS 319 00:13:24,404 --> 00:13:27,507 AS YOU SIT IN YOUR LITTLE HIGHCHAIR. 320 00:13:27,540 --> 00:13:29,076 WELL, I WAS 9. 321 00:13:29,109 --> 00:13:32,846 AND YOU WERE STILL EATING BABY FOOD? MY POOR MARY. 322 00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:34,181 OH, DICK, THE WHOLE-- 323 00:13:34,214 --> 00:13:35,983 THE WHOLE THING TORE ME APART. 324 00:13:36,016 --> 00:13:37,284 I FELT IT WAS MY FAULT. 325 00:13:37,317 --> 00:13:38,551 IT WAS THEIR FAULT, MARY! 326 00:13:38,585 --> 00:13:39,486 I FELT SO ALONE. 327 00:13:39,519 --> 00:13:43,056 YOU'RE NOT ALONE, MARY, NOT ANYMORE! 328 00:13:43,090 --> 00:13:47,394 AND TO THINK I HAD MY HAND IN THAT MAN'S HUMIDOR! 329 00:13:54,301 --> 00:13:56,203 OHH! 330 00:13:56,236 --> 00:13:57,604 HARRY, YOU GOTTA HELP ME WITH THIS ONE. 331 00:13:57,637 --> 00:13:59,639 IT'S FULL OF BOOKS AND ROCKS AND STUFF. 332 00:13:59,672 --> 00:14:01,308 IT WEIGHS A TON. 333 00:14:01,341 --> 00:14:03,676 STEP ASIDE, JUNIOR. 334 00:14:03,710 --> 00:14:08,015 TIME TO CLEAN AND JERK. 335 00:14:08,048 --> 00:14:10,984 1, 2, 3. 336 00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:19,927 IT WAS EMPTY. 337 00:14:21,828 --> 00:14:22,963 NO. 338 00:14:22,996 --> 00:14:26,166 I'M THE STRONGEST MAN IN THE WORLD. 339 00:14:27,300 --> 00:14:30,003 THIS IS GOING TO BE SO MUCH FUN. 340 00:14:30,037 --> 00:14:31,304 I KNOW. 341 00:14:31,338 --> 00:14:32,472 SO WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO TONIGHT? 342 00:14:32,505 --> 00:14:33,473 UH, I DON'T KNOW. 343 00:14:33,506 --> 00:14:35,608 UM, MAKE STIR-FRY AND RENT A CHICK FLICK? 344 00:14:35,642 --> 00:14:39,246 YEAH, LIKE FULL METAL JACKET. 345 00:14:39,279 --> 00:14:41,414 OR BOYS ON THE SIDE. 346 00:14:41,448 --> 00:14:43,616 RIGHT, RIGHT. BOYS ON THE SIDE. 347 00:14:43,650 --> 00:14:46,053 OR FULL METAL JACKET! 348 00:14:53,961 --> 00:14:56,896 I'LL GIVE YOU THE SECRET TO A GREAT BLOODY MARY, DICK. 349 00:14:56,930 --> 00:14:58,298 HORSERADISH. 350 00:14:58,331 --> 00:15:01,368 IT'S NOT THE HORSERADISH, GEORGIE. 351 00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:04,972 IT'S THE VODKA. 352 00:15:05,005 --> 00:15:06,039 YOU KNOW, GETTING THIS HOT TUB 353 00:15:06,073 --> 00:15:08,108 WAS THE SMARTEST THING I'VE EVER DONE. 354 00:15:08,141 --> 00:15:09,109 OH, REALLY? 355 00:15:09,142 --> 00:15:10,443 AND WHAT WOULD THE STUPIDEST, 356 00:15:10,477 --> 00:15:14,447 MOST LOATHSOME, AND HURTFUL THING BE? 357 00:15:14,481 --> 00:15:17,650 NOT GETTING THE FLOATING THERMOMETER. 358 00:15:17,684 --> 00:15:18,751 CAN I GET YOU ANYTHING, DICK? 359 00:15:18,785 --> 00:15:20,988 A DRINK? MAYBE SOME COFFEE? 360 00:15:21,021 --> 00:15:23,556 TEA. OR MAYBE ME. 361 00:15:23,590 --> 00:15:26,026 IS THAT WHAT THE LITTLE FLYING STRUMPET SAID TO ENTICE YOU? 362 00:15:26,059 --> 00:15:28,361 IS ONE SLEAZY PICKUP LINE ALL IT TAKES 363 00:15:28,395 --> 00:15:30,964 TO DESTROY A FAMILY?! 364 00:15:30,998 --> 00:15:32,132 MARY! 365 00:15:32,165 --> 00:15:34,467 FOR GOD'S SAKES. 366 00:15:34,501 --> 00:15:36,469 YOU TOLD HIM? 367 00:15:36,503 --> 00:15:37,937 I COULDN'T STAND IT ANYMORE. 368 00:15:37,971 --> 00:15:39,006 MARTHA. 369 00:15:39,039 --> 00:15:41,674 YOU TOLD OUR DAUGHTER ABOUT MY--MY--MY-- 370 00:15:41,708 --> 00:15:43,143 THAT'S RIGHT! 371 00:15:43,176 --> 00:15:45,078 YOUR LITTLE FLING. 372 00:15:45,112 --> 00:15:47,947 YOU-HOO-HOO BET I TOLD HER. 373 00:15:47,981 --> 00:15:50,617 SO SHE COULD PLAY THE MARTYR FOR 36 YEARS. 374 00:15:50,650 --> 00:15:52,485 HOW DO YOU THINK I FELT? 375 00:15:52,519 --> 00:15:54,154 ALONE AND SCARED, 376 00:15:54,187 --> 00:15:56,556 A SHEET CAKE HER ONLY SOLACE. 377 00:15:56,589 --> 00:15:58,225 SHE DROVE ME TO IT, PRINCESS. 378 00:15:58,258 --> 00:16:00,127 ALL RIGHT! MAYBE I DID. 379 00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:02,996 BUT I WAS TOO FAT, 380 00:16:03,030 --> 00:16:05,198 AND I HATED MY BODY, 381 00:16:05,232 --> 00:16:09,369 AND THOSE DAMN DIET PILLS MADE ME CRAZY. 382 00:16:09,402 --> 00:16:10,403 YOU TOOK DIET PILLS? 383 00:16:10,437 --> 00:16:13,240 OUR FAMILY DOCTOR PRESCRIBED THEM. 384 00:16:13,273 --> 00:16:16,376 FOR GOD'S SAKES, IT WAS THE SIXTIES! 385 00:16:16,409 --> 00:16:20,113 SHE WENT TO DR. POWELL FOR MORE THAN JUST PILLS. 386 00:16:20,147 --> 00:16:21,081 [GASP] 387 00:16:21,114 --> 00:16:25,285 DR. POWELL?! HE HAD HAIR IN HIS EARS. 388 00:16:25,318 --> 00:16:28,221 SHE WENT TO DR. POWELL, WHO WAS HER COUSIN. 389 00:16:28,255 --> 00:16:30,057 HE WAS MY STEP-COUSIN! 390 00:16:30,090 --> 00:16:31,291 HE WAS MY GOLF PARTNER! 391 00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:32,725 HE WAS A MAN! 392 00:16:32,759 --> 00:16:34,861 ENOUGH! 393 00:16:34,894 --> 00:16:36,163 YOU TWO LIE TO EACH OTHER 394 00:16:36,196 --> 00:16:37,330 AND CHEAT ON EACH OTHER 395 00:16:37,364 --> 00:16:39,499 AND I'M STUCK IN THE MIDDLE. 396 00:16:39,532 --> 00:16:41,701 YOU'VE MADE MY LIFE MISERABLE. 397 00:16:41,734 --> 00:16:44,804 WHY THE HELL DID THE TWO OF YOU STAY MARRIED? 398 00:16:44,837 --> 00:16:49,076 [THROUGH CLENCHED TEETH] TO TRY TO GIVE YOU A HAPPY HOME. 399 00:16:49,109 --> 00:16:50,743 OH, MY GOD! 400 00:16:50,777 --> 00:16:52,445 LOOK AT THE TWO OF YOU! 401 00:16:52,479 --> 00:16:54,747 HAVE YOU NO SHAME? 402 00:17:05,992 --> 00:17:08,261 UM, SALLY, I KNOW YOU JUST GOT HERE, 403 00:17:08,295 --> 00:17:09,129 BUT YOU LEFT YOUR SOCKS-- 404 00:17:09,162 --> 00:17:10,597 SHH. HONEY... 405 00:17:10,630 --> 00:17:12,632 IT'S SHARK WEEK. 406 00:17:13,866 --> 00:17:15,135 DO YOU WANT ME TO HELP YOU MOVE THAT FUTON 407 00:17:15,168 --> 00:17:16,403 INTO YOUR ROOM? 408 00:17:16,436 --> 00:17:17,170 MY ROOM? 409 00:17:17,204 --> 00:17:18,505 YEAH. THE ROOM DOWN THE HALL. 410 00:17:18,538 --> 00:17:21,674 OH, NO. I LIKE THIS ONE. 411 00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:23,676 THIS IS THE LIVING ROOM. 412 00:17:23,710 --> 00:17:26,179 YEAH, AND I'M GONNA LIVE IN IT. 413 00:17:26,213 --> 00:17:28,681 YOU GOT TO PICK YOUR ROOM, I GET TO PICK MINE. 414 00:17:28,715 --> 00:17:29,749 NO WAY. 415 00:17:29,782 --> 00:17:31,851 LOOK, I DIDN'T COMPLAIN WHEN YOU FINISHED MY MILK. 416 00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:35,122 YOUR MILK? YOU JUST WROTE "SALLY" ON MILK. 417 00:17:35,155 --> 00:17:37,056 SO THAT'S HOW IT'S GONNA BE, HUH? 418 00:17:37,090 --> 00:17:38,791 WELL, AS LONG AS WE'RE BEING HONEST WITH EACH OTHER, 419 00:17:38,825 --> 00:17:42,061 I DON'T LIKE HOW YOU LEAVE THE TOILET SEAT DOWN. 420 00:17:42,095 --> 00:17:44,464 THAT'S THE WAY WOMEN USE IT. 421 00:17:44,497 --> 00:17:47,267 YEAH, SURE. 422 00:17:47,300 --> 00:17:49,669 THAT'S THE WAY WOMEN USE IT. 423 00:17:49,702 --> 00:17:50,870 LOOK, YOU KNOW, BEING YOUR ROOMMATE 424 00:17:50,903 --> 00:17:52,672 IS NOT AS MUCH FUN AS IT USED TO BE. 425 00:17:52,705 --> 00:17:54,707 YOU'VE ONLY BEEN HERE AN HOUR AND A HALF. 426 00:17:54,741 --> 00:17:57,377 YEAH, AND IT'S AN HOUR AND A HALF TOO LONG. 427 00:17:57,410 --> 00:17:58,878 ALL RIGHT, THIS IS IT. 428 00:17:58,911 --> 00:18:00,480 THE LAST BOX OF SHOES. 429 00:18:00,513 --> 00:18:02,081 WELL... LOAD IT UP, BOYS, 430 00:18:02,115 --> 00:18:04,684 'CAUSE I'M MOVIN' OUT! 431 00:18:04,717 --> 00:18:06,253 NO. 432 00:18:06,286 --> 00:18:08,821 ABSOLUTELY NOT! 433 00:18:11,291 --> 00:18:13,126 SALLY, FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE-- 434 00:18:13,160 --> 00:18:14,093 DO IT OR I'LL KILL YOU. 435 00:18:14,127 --> 00:18:15,962 OK. 436 00:18:22,169 --> 00:18:23,336 YOU KNOW... 437 00:18:23,370 --> 00:18:25,272 THIS WEEKEND 438 00:18:25,305 --> 00:18:28,040 HAS BEEN MORE CATHARTIC FOR ME 439 00:18:28,074 --> 00:18:31,544 THAN THE ENTIRE TIME I SPENT IN REHAB. 440 00:18:34,347 --> 00:18:36,349 REHAB? 441 00:18:37,717 --> 00:18:39,886 1982. 442 00:18:39,919 --> 00:18:41,053 I KNOW. 443 00:18:41,087 --> 00:18:44,090 I SAID I WAS VISITING YOUR AUNT DEE DEE. 444 00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:46,125 OK, MARY, EVERYTHING'S PACKED. 445 00:18:46,159 --> 00:18:47,427 CHOP-CHOP, GOTTA GO. 446 00:18:47,460 --> 00:18:49,229 DICK... 447 00:18:51,164 --> 00:18:52,399 I THINK WE SHOULD STAY. 448 00:18:52,432 --> 00:18:53,366 WHAT? 449 00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:54,834 MY PARENTS AND I HAVE BEEN TALKING 450 00:18:54,867 --> 00:18:56,636 SINCE THE LITTLE BLOW-UP IN THE HOT TUB, 451 00:18:56,669 --> 00:18:57,970 AND I THINK WE'VE MADE SOME PROGRESS. 452 00:18:58,004 --> 00:18:59,672 PROGRESS? ARE THEY GETTING A DIVORCE? 453 00:18:59,706 --> 00:19:01,274 DIVORCE? 454 00:19:01,308 --> 00:19:04,244 THEY'VE BEEN MARRIED FOR 46 YEARS. 455 00:19:04,277 --> 00:19:07,214 YES, BUT 46 HORRIBLE YEARS. 456 00:19:07,247 --> 00:19:09,048 I'M SURE THEY'VE HAD THEIR UPS AND DOWNS, 457 00:19:09,081 --> 00:19:11,951 BUT IT'S ONLY MADE THEM STRONGER. THAT'S WHAT MARRIAGE IS. 458 00:19:11,984 --> 00:19:14,221 OH, MY GOD, THEY'VE BRAINWASHED YOU. 459 00:19:14,254 --> 00:19:15,655 NOW YOU'RE ONE OF THEM. 460 00:19:15,688 --> 00:19:17,123 DICK, I WANT TO THANK YOU 461 00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:19,392 FOR BRINGING EVERYTHING OUT IN THE OPEN. 462 00:19:19,426 --> 00:19:22,629 I FEEL LIKE A TREMENDOUS WEIGHT'S BEEN LIFTED FROM THIS FAMILY. 463 00:19:22,662 --> 00:19:23,896 I WANT TO TELL YOU TWO SOMETHING. 464 00:19:23,930 --> 00:19:26,466 THERE'S NOTHING MORE EXHILARATING THAN HONESTY. 465 00:19:26,499 --> 00:19:27,600 OH! 466 00:19:27,634 --> 00:19:29,969 OH! SO HONESTY'S YOUR GAME, IS IT? 467 00:19:30,002 --> 00:19:32,004 YEAH, I'LL GIVE YOU HONESTY. 468 00:19:32,038 --> 00:19:33,139 YOUR PRECIOUS LITTLE 469 00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:36,042 MARY MARGARET RAGAMUFFIN MAGPIE HAS BEEN LYING TO YOU! 470 00:19:36,075 --> 00:19:36,976 SHE DIDN'T EVEN WANT TO COME HERE 471 00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:40,480 BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T WANT TO TELL YOU THAT-- 472 00:19:40,513 --> 00:19:42,882 OUR ENGAGEMENT IS OFF! WE'RE THROUGH! 473 00:19:42,915 --> 00:19:44,651 BUT THAT'S OK, BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO MARRY HER ANYWAY. 474 00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:47,019 I DON'T WANT TO MARRY ANYONE-- NOT AFTER MEETING YOU. 475 00:19:47,053 --> 00:19:50,257 IF THIS MARRIAGE WAS A HORSE, YOU'D SHOOT IT! 476 00:19:55,094 --> 00:19:56,629 DICK, WE FORGIVE YOU. 477 00:19:56,663 --> 00:19:57,664 FORGIVE ME? 478 00:19:57,697 --> 00:19:59,098 WOULD YOU LIKE SOME COCOA? 479 00:19:59,131 --> 00:20:01,601 I DON'T WANT ANY COCOA. I DON'T WANT ANYTHING. 480 00:20:01,634 --> 00:20:03,470 I JUST WANT TO CLIMB INTO A SPACESHIP 481 00:20:03,503 --> 00:20:05,705 AND FLY TO A FAR-OFF GALAXY, 482 00:20:05,738 --> 00:20:10,009 MILLIONS OF LIGHT-YEARS AWAY FROM THIS TWISTED AND SADISTIC 483 00:20:10,042 --> 00:20:12,445 HUMAN FREAK SHOW! 484 00:20:14,247 --> 00:20:17,317 HE'S THE ONE. HE'S THE ONE. 485 00:20:21,588 --> 00:20:23,390 SO HOW DID THE MOVE GO? 486 00:20:23,423 --> 00:20:25,658 WELL, THE FIRST ONE WENT PRETTY SMOOTH, 487 00:20:25,692 --> 00:20:28,361 BUT THE SECOND ONE WAS A BITCH. 488 00:20:28,395 --> 00:20:31,097 WE HAD A GOOD RHYTHM GOING FOR THE THIRD MOVE, 489 00:20:31,130 --> 00:20:34,934 BUT THE FOURTH AND FIFTH MOVES WERE JUST HELL. 490 00:20:34,967 --> 00:20:36,403 WUSSIES. 491 00:20:36,436 --> 00:20:38,438 YOU KNOW, I REALLY DODGED A BULLET TODAY, DICK. 492 00:20:38,471 --> 00:20:40,973 TO THINK I WAS THIS CLOSE TO MOVING IN WITH NINA. 493 00:20:41,007 --> 00:20:45,244 HAH. SHE'S NOT NEARLY SOPHISTICATED ENOUGH FOR ME. 494 00:20:45,278 --> 00:20:46,813 I DODGED A BULLET, TOO. 495 00:20:46,846 --> 00:20:50,317 I THOUGHT MARRIAGE WAS A BEAUTIFUL UNION OF TWO SOULS. 496 00:20:50,350 --> 00:20:54,153 IT TURNS OUT IT'S A HOT, BUBBLING CHLORINATED SEA OF LIES, 497 00:20:54,186 --> 00:20:58,224 BETRAYALS, AND ADDICTIONS, AND I DON'T WANT TO GO THERE. 498 00:20:58,257 --> 00:21:00,693 WELL, I'LL GO. THAT SOUNDS RELAXING. 499 00:21:00,727 --> 00:21:03,730 NO. FROM NOW ON, WE'RE FOOTLOOSE AND FANCY-FREE. 500 00:21:03,763 --> 00:21:04,731 FROM THIS DAY FORWARD, 501 00:21:04,764 --> 00:21:07,834 PEOPLE WILL REFER TO ME AS A LIFELONG BACHELOR. 502 00:21:07,867 --> 00:21:09,702 YOU'RE NOT GONNA START WEARING PASTEL CARDIGANS 503 00:21:09,736 --> 00:21:13,139 AND OPEN UP AN ANTIQUE STORE, ARE YOU? 504 00:21:13,172 --> 00:21:16,709 WHATEVER GETS ME THE LADIES. 505 00:21:16,743 --> 00:21:20,146 YEAH, DICK, YOU'LL DO GREAT. 506 00:21:27,153 --> 00:21:30,357 GEORGE, THERE'S SOMETHING I HAVE TO TELL YOU. 507 00:21:30,390 --> 00:21:33,092 I'M LISTENING. 508 00:21:33,125 --> 00:21:35,462 YOU'RE NOT MARY'S FATHER. 509 00:21:39,298 --> 00:21:43,470 I'VE SUSPECTED THAT FOR A LONG TIME, MARTHA. 510 00:21:43,503 --> 00:21:44,804 DOES SHE KNOW? 511 00:21:44,837 --> 00:21:46,005 OH, DON'T BE SILLY. 512 00:21:46,038 --> 00:21:47,907 OF COURSE NOT. 513 00:21:47,940 --> 00:21:49,308 GOOD. 514 00:21:50,710 --> 00:21:50,777 NEXT TIME THEY VISIT. 35425

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