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Zulu
It was almost three months
after police found the first victim's body
that law enforcement officials caught their first break
when they discovered the killer used a doorknob
to bash the victim's head in,
and then in an act of defiance,
almost daring police to discover the murder weapon
that was right under their noses.
When asked, detectives said
they'd never seen a case
where the killer taunted police...
-This coffee's shit, I think the milk's bad or something.
And I want my money back.
-Get the fuck outta here.
-I just drank this coffee that tasted
like a monkey's fucking asshole.
I was just in here.
-You were not just fucking in here.
-Now you're trying to tell me
that I wasn't just fucking in here.
-Motherfucker, I don't know you.
-Yeah, but I know who you are, Luis.
-Get the fuck outta my store.
-Not without my money.
-Get the fuck out!
-Go ahead, play the security camera footage.
-Motherfucker, I'm going to crack
your fucking skull open!
-You ain't gonna do shit.
-Motherfucker, try me, motherfucker!
-Play the fucking video. Play the video.
-Come on, mother-- -Play the video.
-I don't got no fucking security video!
-Oh, you don't?
- You like that, huh?
Stop squirming.
- Such a strong piece, don't you think?
Are you familiar with the artist?
- Oh yeah, Grace is amazing.
-I just think this newer work
is such an interesting evolution of our practice,
don't you?
-Definitely.
-So is it something you think
you'd wanna add to your collection or?
-Oh no, sorry, I'm only in NFTs right now.
-Cool, enjoy your night.
Shouldn't you be out there trying to make a sale?
Thought that's what gallery openings are for.
Mingling or something? -When you're a grownup,
it's called networking,
but no one would come to one of these things unless, ah,
Christ Jesus.
What? Don't judge me, it's just Adderall.
Ah, the straw.
It helps my anxiety.
-I wasn't judging you.
My other friends who intern at galleries,
they just tell me that usually the drugs come out
at the after party, not at the opening.
-Look, do you wanna make a sale?
Well then get out there and make one.
Half the gallery's cut is yours.
-Really?
-My math sucks, but I know half of zero is zero.
And fucking Grace.
-I kind of went back to these fundamentals, like stamps.
And I've been making my own stamps and carving--
-There's no one here but friends and deadbeats.
-Hey, Patrice.
-Oh, congratulations, Grace.
-Mm-hm. Any collectors coming?
-Uh, yes, hi.
I've had correspondence with a lot of great people
and many have shown interest.
-Any sales?
-Not yet.
-What about press?
-Figure Forty.
-That's a blog, I meant press.
-Yeah, well, we've been having
a conversation with some very good people.
-Who's we?
-Leslie and I.
-Hi, Grace, great show.
-Leslie's an intern, no offense,
but Anika Lund has a press agent at her gallery.
-And if we sell out this entire show,
I'll spend ten thousand a month on one too.
-Anika also has a writer for the New York Times,
The Kimono, doing an article.
-Hey, uh, Fern's here.
-She loves your work.
-I heard that you sold one of her pieces
to the Morehouse Foundation, one of the big ones.
-Well, actually they have a relationship
that goes back a while and I know--
-Why couldn't you have just offered them one of mine?
-Congratulations you two.
Oh, the show looks great.
-Oh, so sweet of you to come.
I know you've been practically living in the studio.
-When's your next show?
- Oh, soon.
Mind if I swing by the studio and check out the progress?
-Yeah, there's something that I would like to--
-I was actually just asking Patrice
why she couldn't offer any of my work
to the Morehouse Foundation.
-More wine?
-You son of a bitch.
-This coffee's shit, milk's bad or something.
-I'm not falling for that, motherfucker.
How's my boychik?
-Fucking fantastic.
What's wrong with those assholes?
-Those alter kakers? They got their granny panties
in a bunch because Minnesota didn't cover the spread.
Not to perpetuate a hateful stereotype,
but those motherfuckers are some cheap motherfuckers.
-Mm. The only word I caught was "thief."
-Anton and Andrei love the deli bit.
Clean up on aisle six!
That's gonna prevent a lot of sticky fingers.
Look,
we're a team, right?
Andrei, Anton, you, me?
-Yeah.
-Well we... have a money problem.
You know that guy Lyle?
And that weird Irish guy that does his wet work for him?
You know the one that never takes his jacket off indoors
even though you say to him five times, hey,
aren't you hot with that jacket on?
-Gordon, yeah.
-Oh, they're gone, locked up. Taxes, like Al Capone.
Mm-hmm.
We need to find a new way...
to deal with the money.
- Let me see that.
That hasn't gone out yet? It sold last week.
-Got an email from Philip, he changed his mind.
-Changed his mind? I sent him a damn invoice.
-Said his wife thought they had
too many watercolors or something.
-Since when have men started listening to their wives?
I told you, no more mail, only collection letters
or cancellation notices.
Running a business is about learning
fiscal prioritization.
-This is today's mail, you're looking at last week's.
Remember, chronologically ordered piles
of fiscal prioritization, best I can do.
Sculpture Foundation Fundraiser.
Bet a lot of collectors are gonna be there.
-Yeah, and I'd have to donate at least $10,000
if I wanted to sit next to one of them.
Anika's invitations are really nice.
What?
No, no, no, I'm just saying.
-I was cutting costs.
-You think she's going to Sculpture Foundation?
-Are you kidding?
She's probably gonna sit on some collector's lap.
-You know they have lower amounts
where you just do drinks and not dinner.
-So I can stand around the ice machine
with all the other broke losers
and watch the connected people go in for dinner?
Pass.
Fuck, speaking of people I owe money to.
-Fabricator?
-Dealer, drug dealer.
Where do you think I got my Adderall from?
-Hmm, therapist?
-Cut me off years ago.
Hey, Nate.
-Yo girl, all good with you?
-Eh.
-This stuff is dope.
This by the same guy who did all that weird shit
with the magic markers?
-Oh, these are by a woman, so no, different artist,
but I can see why you'd say that.
They both have similar practices.
-Oh yeah?
Not everyone catches that? The...similar practices.
- What can I say?
You've got a good eye, Nate.
-How much this go for?
-Five, minus the frame.
-Five? -Thousand.
-Man, you sell it?
-Hmm, not yet.
But hey, you must know a lot of rich people.
How about you send them over my way
and I cut you in on any sale I make.
-Fuck girl, you're the only class act I got.
Ah...
Listen, you know I love to hear about your hustle and all,
but I came here to talk about my game, you know?
-I know.
And I know I owe you from last time,
but while I don't have cash right now,
I think I have something you would like.
-You know, I think you're hot and all.
I love older women, but I told my lady I'd be better about--
-Not what I meant Nate.
Thank you.
- Patrice.
- Hey Anika. - For Anika.
-Did you get the invitation to my opening?
-Oh, I haven't gone through my mail yet.
-I would love for you to come see my new show
before I have to head off to Berlin for a studio visit.
-I know what you mean, I just had a studio visit myself.
-Fern Davis?
-Yeah.
-God, I love her work, pure genius.
-You just had a studio visit with Fern?
-Oh no, I just took a little peek
when I stopped by to bring her some tea
I picked up in Shanghai last week.
-Oh, it's a wonderful time of year to be in Shanghai.
-Really is.
-Anika, we're gonna be late, again.
-Just doesn't stop, does it?
-I have to get back to the gallery myself.
-You never know, someone might be there.
-Don't be terrible.
- You're the one who always makes fun of her.
-Ah, fuck.
- Are you fucking Tony Montana, Gordon?
That Cayman Island shit went out...
before I was in the game, man.
-Oh, yeah?
Well how you handling your bag?
You walk up in Chase Manhattan,
said, "Let me make a deposit"?
-My money goes through the dark web,
comes back cleaner than a nun's drawers.
-Speaking of, how's this here working out for you?
- Are you kidding?
Yo, this room here is like 49 hundred.
I need to do three or four of these a week.
-Pee panties for perverts, what a world.
But you gotta admire a man
who carves out a niche market for himself.
- You like that?
- I don't know.
It's weird.
-That's art for you.
Customer of mine was short of cash, gave me that instead.
-Oh, you run the swap meet now.
What's this worth, like half a blunt?
-That shit there is worth 45 grand.
-Bullshit in a China shop.
-My girl Patrice, ain't no joke with that art stuff.
-Patrice, and where she at?
-The city.
-City.
The city.
Oh yeah, I see you Patrice.
Yeah, girl.
I see you.
-Oh.
May I help you?
-Couldn't tell if you were open or closed, you know,
You tied up in the back somewhere
being held hostage?
One business owner to another,
you should invest in one of those little sliding
open closed signs, you know, from a hardware store.
Only a nine dollar investment and tax deductible.
-Let me know if you have any questions about the art.
- Patrice, right?
Yeah.
Hey, so I do have a few questions.
One of your collectors was showing me this piece.
-Oh, which collector?
-Really good friend of mine.
-Hmm, well what art are you curious about?
-Be frank, um, I don't wanna buy any art.
I wanna sell art.
-What?
-When Nate showed me this--
-Nate.
-Yeah, Nate. -Nate.
-Nate, the panty per-- person designer.
He and I do some business together.
And he was mentioning you were having a cash problem.
-What?
-Oh, it's nothing to be ashamed of.
You know, solvency is a problem
a lot of young businessmen and...women...have.
-Well, my business is no business of yours.
-Well, not right now, but...
I think we might be able to help each other out.
-I'm sorry, I'm not interested.
-What if I told you I have a valuable piece of art
I'd like to sell, but I don't know
anything about the machinations
or the ins and outs of the financial art world.
-Mm-hmm.
-But a successful gallery owner like yourself,
I'm sure you know all the artistic legalese and whatnot.
So, I propose,
I give you the piece
and I give you the money for it.
You cut me a check minus a nice fee for yourself
and handle all the accounting paperwork
and everything will be right as rain.
-Hmm.
-Because I want everything to be, you know,
this whole transaction on the up and up,
everything hunky dory, you know.
Clean as they say, like laundry.
-Are you really mansplaining money laundering to me?
-No, of course not.
I need an expert for a very nuanced business transaction
and a mutual friend suggested I contact you
for your expertise.
I'm wanna hire you as a...consultant.
-Hmm.
Thank you, but no.
-Are you sure?
-Yes.
-All right, well I'm not gonna waste your time
with a long spiel.
My schmekel may not be snipped,
but I make the best bialys in town.
I'll have some fresh for you, when you change your mind.
-Thank you. -Hmm.
-How much are these pieces of shit going for?
-Small ones are 75 thousand.
-I guess I'm too old to sell my eggs, aren't I?
-Lots of ads for that on campus.
-You didn't tell me Mae Li's working with Anika.
-I don't even know who that is.
-Glasses with Anika.
She's only the top art advisor to the one percent.
Remember that African dictator's son
bought a loft in Tribecca?
Guess who helped him decorate?
Hello, Anika.
-Patrice, what a nice surprise.
-You mailed me an invitation.
- Nice design by the way.
-Thank you.
-Patrice Capullo, I run Program Gallery.
-Mae Li.
-Mae Li was just telling me she's already found homes
for some of Vincent's work.
-Hmm. -African dictator's son?
-No, Brian Prithchard.
His father invented that coil thing
that heats up when you vape.
He's become quite the collector.
I showed him Vincent's work and he's an enormous fan.
Told me to get one for him,
one for his wife and one for each of his girlfriends.
-What a sweetheart.
- I told Yuri Yvanivich he should
have one too.
He agreed.
-What did he invent?
-He's the biggest arms dealer in Ukraine
and really developing an eye
for contemporary post-modern work.
-He would love Cindy Sherman,
I bet he'd just eat her right up.
-Well as they say, the beauty is in the art,
not the collector, no?
-My gallery's still at the point
of selling to rich assholes
but I hope soon to have a client base
of truly horrific people like these.
-Ahmad's an oil tycoon mobster type.
I have a lot of those types.
-Lucky you.
-I think he's actually had people killed.
- Guess who wants to say hello?
- Ah, the Galvinsons.
-Hello, my dear.
- My two favorite collectors in the whole world.
-Fern?
-Patrice, hello, nice to see you.
-Photo op anybody?
-Definitely, come, come, come, come, come. Matthew get the art.
- Here.
-Hey. -Hey.
- And ah, amazing.
-Cunt, sorry.
- You know I am super appreciative
of everything that you've done for me.
-Six years we've worked together
and your work has grown exponentially since then.
-We have grown together.
I also need you and your gallery to grow too.
That just hasn't happened.
Okay? Anika has a staff.
She has a press person.
-I got you reviews that we didn't have to pay for.
-But Patrice, it's not just about the reviews, right?
It's other things too.
You know, it's being able to have real invitations
made for an opening
or having a nice dinner after a show
and not just drinks, right?
Like stuff like that matters.
Can you do that?
-Yes, I can.
And of course stuff like that matters.
I didn't wanna say anything because, well, the gallery
is going through some changes.
We have a new...
I just need you to stay with me.
- Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
-Ah, had a change of heart have we?
-Yep, where's the piece?
-Is that necessary?
-Yes, it's necessary.
I need something to sell.
-Can't it just be anything?
-No.
-Well, didn't some guy put a mustache
on the Mona Lisa and call that art?
-Marcel Duchamp, but there's more to it than that.
I mean, I need a painting to catalog.
-Can it be something you already got?
-You mean, sell another artist's work
and not give them the money?
-Yeah, I'm down with that.
-Well then you'd have some real legitimacy problems.
And I'm guessing that financial legitimacy
is pretty important to you.
-And you are guessing absolutely right.
So I will call my guy,
have him grab his brushes and whip something up.
Would that be oil, acrylics or watercolors?
See, been using the Googler
'cause I knew you were coming.
-Very impressive.
-What's hot right now?
- What am I supposed to paint?
Fucking I don't know.
Just paint anything, paint whatever you're thinkin' 'bout.
-Pizza, I'm hungry.
- For fucks--
You goddamn jackass.
-Oh, I'm the jackass?
Who's the fucking jackass?
Me or the jackass who asked me to paint some shit?
I'm not a fucking artist.
- Motherfucker, you wanna make money, motherfucker,
just...paint some goddamn thing.
-All right for Christ's sakes, I'll fucking paint.
Asshole.
-What's this bullshit you're asking my father to do?
-Oh, excuse me for trying to broaden our horizons.
Would it kill us to add a little sophistication,
a little class to our business
while we're trying to make money?
I mean, my family, we wouldn't know culture
from corn beef, but your father and you,
you're Europeans.
Isn't every other building over there
a museum or something like that? Hmm?
-Get to the point.
-Hey, I'm just looking out for us here.
I don't want us to end up like Lyle's crew.
I bet that crazy Irish fuck
finally took off his jacket, eh, Dad?
-I'm just saying, these days it doesn't hurt
to be a little more careful, and with that in mind...
somebody's got a little problem
they want taken care of by our boychik then you know,
I suggest they buy art.
-Art?
- Yeah, art.
-What the frig do you know about art?
What art school did you go to?
- Art school?
You know who went to art school? Hitler.
You wanna call yourself an artist?
Boom, you're an artist.
It's not like you're running around saying you're a doctor,
a lawyer or something serious.
An artist.
- You're a moron.
A fucking idiot, fake Jew,
retard, moron.
-Right and...
who's gonna pay anything for this?
-My five year old makes better paintings
with his fingers.
-And that's the beauty of this, you fucking cretin.
You remember Dave the Polack?
He tried to clean his money
using his father-in-law's used car dealership.
-Oh, yeah.
And they all got pinched.
-Yeah, 'cause even those schmucks at the IRS
knew those piece of shit cars that he was selling
weren't worth the money he was trying to push through.
But art,
this ugly ass thing right here
that looks like a Smurf with diarrhea
wiped his ass with it,
can sell for a million bucks
and they wouldn't bat an eye.
So from now on, when there's a contract out,
instead of a bag man with a duffle full of money,
here's the good part,
they're gonna write a check to this classy,
fancy-smansy art gallery run by this artsy, fartsy
young lady who will take a reasonable cut
for herself and cut us
a nice, clean, check.
Goddamn, that is one ugly motherfucker.
-No, well he has a-- an aesthetic.
Hmm?
-I got some pictures you'll like.
- Hmm.
-Okay.
To whom shall I...?
-Andrei Gorlich Trust.
A-N-D-R-E-I G-O-R-L-I-C-H Trust.
-Trust.
-Mm-hmm.
So what happens now?
-Well, I generate an invoice,
put the work in my database and...
What's the artist's name?
-Oh, we hadn't thought about that.
-Oh, something that's not boring, like...
...Balthus or...
Beskeya.
-Bagman.
-The Bagman.
-Yeah.
-Whatever. We're good?
-Hah.
You best believe it.
Clean as the board of health.
Match made in heaven.
- Thank you, sir.
-Thank you. -Welcome.
- Hah.
This is a sub-zero, it connects to the internet.
-Sweet.
-And RSVP to the Sculpture Foundation fundraiser.
Best table next to the richest,
most annoying fucking collectors ever.
-Okay, don't take this the wrong way,
but did a relative die and leave you money or something?
-I made a sale.
-Fuck yeah, what piece?
-It was an acquisition that I-- through a third party.
-I mean, what's the work?
I mean, is it something we can put on--
-RSVP, it's tonight, best seats.
-Uh, seats plural?
-Seats, plural.
That is unless you mind sitting next to someone
whose eggs are endangered.
-I think I can let that slide, thank you.
Sorry.
So, Samir's boss told him all this booze is donated.
And like all these different vineyards fight
to have their wine be the one they serve everyone.
-If those vineyards went through all the trouble,
let's make sure to honor their work.
- Clink!
Oh fuck, it's The Kimono.
In the seventh grade,
the only thing I liked reading more
than The Babysitter's Club were her reviews.
-When I masturbate it's to the thought of Maxine Woods
giving the gallery a full page spread.
Sunday section, of course.
-You win, want more wine?
-Double.
-Okay.
Hi, excuse me.
Hi, can we get double?
-Patrice?
Oh, Doctor and Mrs. Galvinson, so good to see you.
-We didn't expect to see you dear.
Anika made it sound as if you wouldn't...
Oh, there she is, Anika.
-Hi.
-Hello, Anika.
-Somebody's plus one?
-Cute.
My schedule freed up at the last minute
and so, we decided to come.
-We?
- Don't mind me, two for you.
-Leslie, you remember the Galvinsons?
-Of course, love your collection.
You have a couple of Fern Davis's pieces, right?
-Leslie is my intern.
-Oh, well how nice of your boss
to bring you to such an event.
-Did you bring your assistant?
-Oh, I begged him to come,
but he's setting up our new NFT division
so he stayed behind.
-Ah, the New Art market bubble.
Alan Myer's son has one.
-It is so great seeing you both here, Patrice.
I mean, I have to apologize,
I just haven't seen you at any of the events in a while.
I just was under the impression you weren't
coming tonight.
-Well, surprises are fun.
-I just thought the gallery wasn't doing well
since Sebastian--
-Oh, well, she just closed this huge deal
on a painting from the Bagman, so...
-The Bagman?
Is that a sub-genre offshoot
of the Pictures Generation Movement?
-Well, sort of a raw contemporary collection
with an urban sensibility and a low-fi aesthetic.
-Well, I can show you.
I have it on Art Binder right here.
Here just hold this.
Perfect, right here.
-It's so...ornate. -Ugly.
-I mean the artist doesn't have the kind of
refined process that you're used to seeing,
but some collectors really gravitate towards pieces
that are more unfashioned.
-And you say it already sold?
-Or maybe it's just on hold?
-You look great in that color.
- It sold, yeah.
-At?
-150 thousand.
-Isn't that rather high for an emerging artist?
-We better get our seats.
We're at table five.
Anika, you on the dais, hon?
-I'm at table 35.
-Shall we?
Yes, ah, great.
- Let me get those.
Thank you.
That was awesome, I cannot wait to ask Matthew
what Anika said after all that.
-How do you know so much about that sale?
-Oh, well you're always telling me
to keep the database organized, so.
-When did you scan it into the Art Binder?
-Oh yeah, no offense,
but it hasn't exactly been crazy busy, you know.
-Oh no, no, it's fine.
It's fine, but just for the moment,
can we just keep that sale on the DL?
- Why?
It's like the biggest thing we've had since I've been here.
-The artist is very private
and he doesn't know me very well.
So, we're trying to establish the dealer-artist trust bond.
-Okay, sorry. Shouldn't have...
-We just need to control his introduction
to the marketplace.
Too much exposure too soon could be...
detrimental.
-I'm sorry,
we don't have any work from the Bagman available.
-Art revolution?
-There's not a wait list
'cause there's nothing to wait for.
- It's all hush-hush, I don't know anything.
-That's crazy.
- Patrice is acting really weird.
-Patrice is weird.
The woman dropped Sebastian Stone.
Who does that?
Gotta go.
-Well, what did she say?
-Oh, uh, they don't offer refunds.
You have the full appointment.
-Not about my acupuncture Matthew, the Bagman.
- Okay, she doesn't know.
It's all handled through Patrice.
Nobody who Leslie knows has any idea,
but everybody wants one from all over the world.
Paris, Milan, the Vatican.
-I'm aware Matthew, thank you.
Would you go get me a green juice?
Roots three point five, thank you.
-Of course, bitch, you know I'm here for all of it.
-Patrice is too much of a flake
to handle something this big, right?
-And we're talking about the woman who was inhaling
the shrimp at the Sculpture Foundation gala.
-Yep, well.
- My god, it's Figure Forty.
It's a dumb art blog nobody even reads.
I mean, don't tell Grace that or anything.
-What part of keeping this to ourselves
did you not understand?
Would you understand better if I made a meme out of it?
For fuck sake, we need to stop talking
about this right now.
-For the first time since I've been here,
we have an artist blowing up and we can't talk about it?
I had to say something.
Do you know how dumb that makes me look
if I don't know anything about our best artist?
-Just lie, like I told you.
-Says the dealer who dropped Sebastian Stone
right before he did his motorcycle series.
-That has nothing to do with any of this.
I told you specifically not to talk about the Bagman.
I'm handling it.
-So then how come every time the phone rings,
which was like never before weeks ago,
and it's someone begging to give us money
for a Bagman piece, you always make me deal with them?
-Answer the phone.
-So I can sound like an idiot?
I mean, whether I tell them I don't know anything
or nobody picks up, it's the same thing.
-Part of your job is still to answer the phone.
-What are you so afraid of?
Matthew told me Anika said that you're afraid of success.
That that's why you dropped Sebastian.
And you know, I don't know
that he was like becoming a star
and you couldn't handle it.
You may have blown your shot
and wanna keep your gallery small, but not me.
-I didn't drop Sebastian because I couldn't handle it.
I dropped Sebastian because I didn't want to handle it.
Yes, he's a talented artist,
but he's also a misogynistic pig who harassed me,
my assistant, the art handlers and their mothers.
-So fucking tell people then.
-Sebastian still makes a lot of people a lot of money.
And when you make big sales,
you have the power to control the narrative.
-Right, so doesn't that mean
that with all this Bagman shit,
that you have the power again?
-Gordon.
-Hey, do I come to your place of business
interrupting you?
-That's how we met, remember?
-All right, all right, all right.
So what's up?
-I need another painting.
-What happened to one a week?
-It's for a real collector.
The sale's all lined up, $275,000.
Give or take 10%.
-Don't bullshit a bullshitter, what's the scam?
-No scam.
A legit collector wants to buy a piece
from an emerging artist.
-Who the hell pays that kinda money
for something they haven't even seen?
-Collectors buy stuff all the time, sight unseen.
-What kind of person
pays that kind of money for those ugly pieces of shit?
-Collectors don't buy art because they like it.
They buy it because they think they need it
and they think they need it
because they're afraid somebody else will get it.
That's the whole way pricing works.
-Look, why don't you go ahead and do this thing yourself.
You paint it.
If you can sell it, great.
Just give us our cut.
-Collectors are discerning, they'll know.
-So you want a glimpse inside the artist's mind?
You giving interviews today, Rembrandt?
-You made those pieces of shit?
Okay, can we not with the pieces of shit thing--
Ah, ah, no explanations.
We'll have something for you tomorrow.
I'll be having another one for you
in like a week or so. Okay?
Hey, you cool?
-Oh, yeah, thanks.
-Excellent, as usual.
Pleasure doing business with you.
Oh, I'm not sure if this thing
like goes that way or that way.
You'll figure it out.
-What do you think about this piece?
-I don't know.
Got these circles and
one of these Price Is Right flowers or some shit.
Well, what's this guy saying?
-Well, she's recreating childhood memories.
Her mother used to give her a sticker
every time she got a good grade.
In her execution, she only draws their shapes.
-So how am I supposed to get that?
How's anybody?
-Well, nobody has to get anything.
I'm just saying, for this artist,
they're not just shapes,
they're memories that we can tell are important to her.
-Hmm.
So when you look at my work,
can you tell anything about me?
-I'm an art dealer, I'm not a mind reader.
I know about Grace's work 'cause I know about Grace.
- Uh-huh.
- You, I hardly know you, so...
So maybe I don't want anybody to know about me.
-When you make art from a truthful place,
people find out something about you.
It's fucked up,
but we kind of have the same job you and me.
We both sell products that people spend a fortune on
because of how those products make them feel.
-What's that got to do with me?
-You're a drug dealer, aren't you?
I'm starting to see
why he has an appreciative audience
yet remains under the radar, the simplicity.
It's so present that it's almost a distraction at first.
-It takes a discerning collector with a trained eye.
-Which ones are available?
-None of them.
-Really?
-Sadly, I've spoken to the artist
and his other gallerist,
there's an extremely long wait list of collectors
and some commissions too.
-We've always been a champion of you and all your artists.
-I know serious and established collectors
such as yourselves
understand that it's in everyone's best interest
to give the most relevant work to those who show support
not for a single artist,
but for the gallery's program in general.
-Well, why don't you tell us more about Grace's new work?
- Ahem.
Gordon told me to--
You almost done with that?
Just gimme a second please.
-What is this?
What the fuck is this?
How do you make that?
Something about this excites me, scares me even.
-Why would that scare you?
-You tell me, you're the artist.
-You think that Patrice puts as much value in
the process of making something than the final product?
I mean, nobody does.
Nobody cares about narrative anymore.
-There's so much going on with it, and the collectors!
- Oh, collectors, really?
My show has been up for weeks and you managed one sale
but this guy who I've never seen before...
He's got collectors lined up.
-Grace, can you give me a second?
-Sorry, is he your next show?
Is he on the roster?
Are you on the roster?
-You wanted to take--
-Oh my god, are you the Bagman?
Oh, sorry. Do you think that everyone
doesn't know about the Bagman?
Because Leslie was telling everybody
at the Grey Pillar opening about him.
- Oh, sorry.
-So, you're the Bagman.
-What do you know about a bagman?
-I really gotta deal with this.
-Deal with this, oh I'm so sorry, Patrice.
I had no idea my career was such a goddamn
inconvenience to you. You know what, fuck you.
-Hey bitch, chill out.
Whoa.
- What?
-Let's have this conversation later.
Fuck this freak show.
-If you just want to-- -Hold on.
- Grace, Grace!
-You're a straight white man making fucking boring
a straight white man art.
You are making a killing in the art world
by making safely abstract fucking wall décor.
150 thousand for your first piece.
Belongs at the Holiday Inn!
- I forgot I even had
an email address till the Spanish girl
with the limp told me I had a message.
I thought she was lying.
But lo and behold,
what on God's green earth is this?
It's, uh, conceptual art.
-What?
-It's a, you know, it's a type of artwork.
-I'll conceptual art your ass.
Look, this thing's supposed to be a front.
That means low profile.
Why do I even have to tell you this is not good?
-Patrice thinks it's good.
-What else is she gonna say?
She's running a business.
She's thinking about the money she's gonna make off you.
-Oh, and you and Andrei aren't?
-That's totally different.
-How is that different?
-Because that business is not our business.
This is a problem, and not just for you and me,
for everybody.
Which means it's gonna be an even bigger problem.
You understand?
-Let me ask you something.
You ever think I'm gonna be good with Anton and Andrei?
-You know the kind of guys Andrei has working for him.
I mean, you are like Einstein compared to those schlimazels.
He knows you're a good earner.
-No, I mean like, you know, good.
-Like good, good?
-And for good.
-If you're saying what I think you're saying,
I'd say don't say it again.
-Well then how long is long enough?
When am I ever gonna be straight with these guys?
-I don't make the rules.
You're a lifer, like me.
Sorry.
-Pan left.
Hmm.
Perfect.
-Love the adjustment.
Just wanted you to look over the wait list.
-Yeah. -I know that we had--
-No, not--not him.
Please, please, Leslie.
Every time it's the same.
-I was wondering...
-What do you think?
-Ready for your big night?
-I don't know.
-It's okay to be nervous.
You're coming, aren't you?
What's with the shrugs? This is a huge night for you.
Something you didn't know was inside of you
is about to be shown to the whole world.
-Maybe there are people out there who don't want me
to open up and share what's inside of me with the world.
-You just described every artist's fear, ever.
- Right.
-Hey, what's up?
-Anyway?
- No, you don't need to bring anything.
No, I told you I'm telling you the truth.
- He makes trouble. - Yeah.
-Hold on, Patrice, it's my sister.
She wants to know what people wear to things like this.
- Whatever.
- She says whatever. - Hello.
-No, I swear to God that's what she fucking said.
-Hi.
-This...these are-- tell me about them.
-The complexity of urban identity.
An examination of the individual's place
in a culture of consumerism.
The artist tries to capture the essence,
what I like to call the breath of a concept.
-Were you talking to your sister?
What's her email, we can add her to our mailing list.
-Okay, it's Nicole, N-I-C-O-L Marie.
- I would never say it's a good piece.
But it's definitely eliciting a reaction in me.
They make me feel...
-Angst.
Foreboding.
-Dirty.
Ooh.
Doctor G, I think it's high time you get your wife home.
-Oh, I haven't seen that look
since the California Clay Movement was revitalized.
Let's get you home, dear.
-I have Pump Caryatid on my nightstand.
- Thank you, thank you, thank you.
- Bye.
-Bye. -Thank you.
They love the work.
They're going home to fuck each other's
brains out right now because of you.
-Well, you're the one who sold them on it.
-Oh, it's easier when it's good work.
I think people are gonna respond to this show
because you see things in a way very few people do,
and they get to live vicariously through you.
-Thanks.
-And just to grease the wheels
and make sure they get the next one from the Bagman,
they just bought one of Grace's pieces.
Thank you.
-You're welcome.
You know, it wasn't until we caught
my Aunt Rachel taking leftovers outta the fridge
and mailing them to relatives that we realized
we needed to put her in a home.
-It's a tax thing.
Collectors don't like to pay city or state taxes
so long as it's shipped out of state,
like to a fine art storage facility.
-You just said they picked them up.
-I interned at this gallery and collectors would buy
a sculpture for three hundred thousand dollars
and we'd just pop it in the back of their Mercedes.
Then we'd start building these huge crates
and ship them empty to a storage facility.
So long as there's an invoice and proof
that we shipped it outta state, that's all they need.
It's funny to think there're these giant warehouses
with armed goons guarding empty boxes.
- Domestic violence, gender roles.
Consumerism.
Lest we not forget an obvious hit piece
on climate change deniers. I need it.
- Not for sale, sorry.
-Take that Anika.
My show is fucking awesome.
-Hey, Mr. Big Shot.
-Why don't you fucking invite the cops here
while you're at it?
Paint a big fucking confession on the wall.
-It's called art you dumb fuck.
-The art was just a front.
We were all there when the fucking Black Dreidel
laid out the scam.
-Evening boys.
Looking to start a collection or some trouble?
-You mind? We're talking here.
-I do mind. It's my fucking gallery.
Take it outside.
-Hey, why don't you give us a second okay, lady.
-Reggie, when did people start using "lady"
in the negative?
What's that about? - Excuse me,
pardon me, it's my brother's show, excuse me.
Oh my god, will you look at this.
I feel like I'm one of the Real Housewives.
Oh, you must be Patrice.
Oh honey, when Reggie told me about this,
I couldn't believe it.
You're a saint, I tell you,
a goddamn honest to fucking God saint.
-Holy shit, is that lasagna. -Yes.
Reggie told me not to bring anything, but I can't not.
I feel schmatte, you know. Hope that's okay.
Although this feels more like a cheese cube crowd to me.
-I'm just gonna...
-Take it to the office, I love lasagna.
I'm not hungry now, but I will be later.
-Patrice. -Ah, so good to see you.
-You two ass-hats
aren't gonna ruin my brother's big night are you?
-Leslie.
- Anyway, as I was saying...
...sort of sexuality?
-I'll be right back.
-You're so fucking good.
Don't you feel awesome? -Yeah.
-Hey, I got invited to a party by some cool art kids.
I mean they're like 20, but I told them
I'd bring the pharma. So do you have any?
-I don't have anything on me.
-Can you get some, I mean, you're a...
-I'm not a drug dealer.
-Oh really, then what was all this about then?
I mean, did you and Gordon like forget your cash cards?
-Patrice, Patrice, I'm not a fucking artist
and I'm not a fucking drug dealer.
-You don't get to say whether or not you're an artist.
Other people get to say whether or not
you're an artist.
It's when you make people see something
they've never seen before, I mean, what is this?
If you're not an artist and you're not
a fucking drug dealer, then what?
Are you a bank robber? You're a bookmaker.
You break people's thumbs, you fucking...
-Hmm.
-You?
-Best internship ever.
-What the fuck? It was locked.
-Wouldn't fit through the mail slot.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, okay.
-That you kill people or that you used my gallery to help?
-That you had to know.
-That I found out?
Hmm?
I knew that money laundering was a crime,
but it's a white collar, country club,
tennis court, jail kind of crime, but murder?
That's prison.
You didn't do nothing.
-What kind of idiot is a front for a guy
who's own front is selling bagels?
-Bialys.
-Really?
Gordon, I don't know.
He's really precious about it all.
-Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!
-Could you really tell from my bags? What I do?
-Yeah, they're that good.
-Doesn't that mean that you're that good too?
Okay, wait. But this one, this one is my favorite.
It's hypnotic, right?
Bet that PR is worth more than 10 grand a month, huh?
Here we go.
- Okay.
Nice.
- Are you fucking kidding me?
- "Not since 1949's Life Magazine article
which heralded Pollack's drip period,
have we seen an artist break out onto the scene
with such critical acclaim."
When asked about in--
-"...spiration for the series, the gallerist
cryptically mentioned the Bagman
drawing from personal experiences."
-Jesus fucking...
-Christ, there's more.
"The wondrous pieces are emotionally complex,
yet accessible.
I, for one, am eagerly anticipating
the next creation by this young talent."
You made the fucking paper.
Not your name,
but those things you made for Patrice's storefront.
This is big, Reg.
-When'd you start getting the Times?
-I swiped it from that yuppy down the block.
-You go find that motherfucking Picasso wannabe asshole
and you bring him back here.
The show's over, fuckers!
- "...show's opening culminated in
a hybrid performance that dared to address
the combustible relationship between artist and gallerist."
-Hmm.
-He's so hot too.
Like he's not usually my type,
but I couldn't help but look at him.
Definitely not the Sebastian Stone type,
I mean he wouldn't even look me in the eyes.
Words getting out about Sebastian, by the way...
- It wasn't like I planned it.
It wasn't something I wanted as a kid.
You know, I'm not a psycho or anything.
I work with artists, trust me, you're not a psycho.
-My sister got in trouble a lot when we were kids.
Eventually she got in the junk and it got bad, real bad.
She ran up this debt to a drug dealer
who was this piece of shit who worked for Andrei.
He wanted her to work it off.
-Oh god.
-So I went and I found the guy.
I tried to work something out, but this stubborn fuck,
we got into it...
and I ended him.
You know, you can't just knock off
one of Andrei's guys like that,
or he makes a call and I go away forever.
Anyway, that's how they got me.
Now they got you too.
You got family?
-I have art.
-You have a favorite artist?
-Bas Jan Ader.
He died, actually, while making art.
Got lost trying to cross the Atlantic on a 12 foot boat.
-So that was his art, just...getting lost.
-Conceptual art, just an idea.
-Thanks, that was delicious.
-When I think about my top life experiences,
I'm torn between
Walter De Maria's The Lightning Field
and their clams casino.
Why did I let myself be happy for 10 minutes?
-Hey, Reg.
-Look at you all out and about being social,
though I can't say I pegged the friend here as your type.
No offense, I like the gallery.
-Be a shame if...
-Something were to happen to it, really?
-Wow, brains and a mouth on this one.
-Yeah, tell me about it.
Anyway, Andrei and Anton want to see you.
Both of you.
-Hey. -Hands off.
- What the?
-Sorry.
-You have to make every little thing
a kick in the nuts, don't you?
All we wanted to do was talk.
-That's what we're doing right now.
- You didn't really have a choice now, did you?
-Fuck I didn't.
I didn't wanna cause a scene in front of her place.
-Oh, but you want to be all over the fricking newspaper?
-Well, technically his expression is in the paper.
Not him.
But I-I-I think it's better for an artist to remain anonymous.
-The Black Dreidel says that maybe
you're no longer happy working for me.
- No, I, um,
was just hoping that maybe you and I were straight.
-Hm.
-The first time?
You did a great job.
And I told the Black Dreidel, "That guy's talented,
he'll do very well for us."
And when a man is good at his job, he doesn't leave.
Right?
Hmm.
You like lamb chops?
-Parmigiana.
- Parmigiana.
Americana.
I do the best chops in New Jersey.
Absolutely the best.
-Glad I came.
-Now.
Here, we don't want a starving artist, do we?
-Art dealer, actually, but thank you.
-Good and loyal workers
become just like family and family never leave.
Reggie...
he's family.
Black Dreidle, he's family too.
And you.
You're part of this family now.
-Salute.
-Salute.
- My god, Patrice, where have you been?
- Not now. - Okay, well I--
- Just-- - You are not
going to believe... -One second.
Please, please, Leslie, please.
-Oh. I hope you don't mind.
Your assistant said it'd be okay if I waited in here.
It's quite busy out there.
Welcome back, Patrice.
-Well, I have your article to thank for it, so.
-You know, when you didn't return my call,
I became rather curious.
So I decided to come in and take a peek for myself.
-My apologies,
I've been dealing with some developments.
-I bet, well, you're clearly busy.
So I'll get right to the point.
I would like to do a piece on the Bagman.
-What particular day of the week
would this article come out?
-Sunday, yes.
-I would love nothing more than for you
to do an article on the Bagman,
but what you've written already is more than enough.
-Oh no, no, that was just a review.
I'm referring to a full piece, like a deeper exploration.
-Uh, it's a crazy time now with the show and everything.
-It's the show that I mean to explore.
-Oh, well I just...
I can't, sorry.
-You understand that this would be
great exposure for you, the gallery, the artist.
-Yes, we just don't need any exposure.
-Do you understand what you're doing right now?
-Yes.
-I mean, are you aware that I could--
-I don't want your article!
Oh, Ms. Woods...
I am so fucking sorry. I--
-It's perfectly fine.
-You have no idea how much I--
-Patrice, listen, that was completely unexpected,
but it was honest, so you know what?
I'm gonna be honest in return.
I'm not used to being told no.
-I hear it all the time.
-And I gotta warn you, when I hear no,
it makes me want something even more.
-He has other opportunities for him.
-Did we not just have this conversation a few nights ago?
Andrei not only has things in his walk-in freezer
with four legs, some have only two.
-He doesn't wanna do it anymore, Gordon.
-And I don't wanna walk down Christopher Street
and be whistled at,
but sure as God made little green apples, it happens.
-What could we give or get Andrei to let us go?
-Nothing!
How clear do I have to make this to you?
Does he have to pull his knife on you again
to make this any clearer?
-There's always something.
-He's not going to let you out of this.
Either of you.
You're both too valuable, man.
-We need to give him something that's more valuable.
-What, you think she can get The MET to launder his money?
-What about a red file?
-Oh, a golden meatball.
So now we're doing Day of the Jackal.
You're gonna punch the Pope's ticket?
-Gordon, you always looked out for me
and I cannot tell you how much I appreciate that.
But these guys would just as soon shoot us
as scratch their fucking nuts.
I have no life.
All I do is what these assholes want.
And all of a sudden, in walks her and she offers me
a chance at a new life,
one I would've never would fucking dreamed of.
I gotta try to take this. -What the fuck was that?
Your "I Have A Dream" speech?
Listen to me, bubi, not all of us get to have a dream.
-What's the Yiddish word for myopic?
Jesus, Gordon! What's a red file?
-It's, you know, unkillable people
you know, sex traffickers, kingpins.
-People nobody can get to, but everybody wants taken out.
- Drug dealer, drug maker.
-Politician or Wall Street.
-Rich and powerful men who aren't exactly Boy Scouts,
but, you know, people you don't know
and people you don't want to know.
-Truly horrific people?
-Mmm!
- So glad you finally called me.
-Hi.
-I'll do a Dobel tequila on the rocks
with a piece of lime, please.
Listen, between us,
when that whole Sebastian Stone drama was going down,
everyone thought you were nuts.
Not me, I always knew you were a talented dark horse.
-Your discerning eye is graciously appreciated.
-Tell me about the Bagman, I need to know everything.
-Well I have this really make or break moment
with him and with the whole world suddenly watching.
-It is imperative
I help you find just the right collector.
-Well, he's non-traditional and the piece
is personal to him.
So personal, in fact, that he insists
on meeting the collector first.
-Of course, and by the way,
I love outsider artists, that raw talent
uninhibited by the form that grad schools demand.
I want one.
-Ha.
Yeah, I have to warn you,
there's a darkness present in his work and it's in him too.
He's not afraid to show it.
-He shouldn't be.
I love darkness.
All the serious collectors appreciate it too.
-I would love to be able to tell my artist
who's interested.
-They all are.
If I tell them to be.
I know a certain someone who would appreciate
the Bagman more than most.
-Give me a name.
-I'd love to.
But you should see these NDAs I've had to sign.
They make you fear for your own life.
These men take their privacy very seriously.
-Men like Yuri Yvanivich, or your friend, Ahmad?
Does the Ukrainian arms dealer or his buddies
know that you share their Instagram pages with everyone?
I wonder what the NDAs would say about that.
She'll have another.
- And here's the hit parade.
Any name on that list will do, nothing less.
-It's a lot of Russian, Chinese.
-Sounds promising.
-These guys have serious protection.
We're never gonna get close.
-You're worried about that now?
-What if I did like five of my usual guys
instead of the red file?
-This is not some fuckin' Chinese takeout menu
where you get two from column A, three from column--
-Did anyone get a chance to
take a look at today's specials?
And closing a red file for free?
It's ambitious proposal, even for the Black Dreidel.
- Black Dreidel.
But to me it sounds like bullshit.
Roman Rashnikov,
we'll take him out on December 10th
between 12 and four in Miami.
- You get that son of a bitch, Rashnikov.
And I'll give you anything.
Anything.
- What in the hell is going to make
one of the most targeted men in Russia
leave his super secret secure compound
and come hang out with your ass?
-Stick to your bagels, Gordy.
-Bialys, they're fucking bialys.
Let me tell you. -I know what I'm doing Gordy.
-And what is that?
-We're gonna show him what he can't have and
he is gonna want it even more.
-If we don't pull this off,
there's gonna be contracts on us with every head hunter in town.
-When we pull this off,
you're gonna be more famous than Bas Jan Ader.
-Will you stop with that bullshit?
Rashnikov is one of the richest men in Russia
who buys utility companies
the way you buy those goddamn pretzels.
And you know where he's gonna be in a month and a half?
-Maxine, hi.
-Who the fuck is Maxine? -Patrice Capullo.
- The lady in the kimono.
-What--who the fuck's that?
-She's an art critic.
-An art critic.
-Do you listen to anything?
-I listen to you all the time.
-Okay, she wants to do a piece on me.
-Oh la-di-da. -That'll make a splash.
-Oh-ho! You wanna make a splash?
Wait till Andrei fits you with these cement shoes
and tosses your ass in the Hudson.
- It's the Super Bowl of the art world.
For a few days in each year,
galleries from all over the world come together
under one roof to show off their best work.
Hey, Doug.
And for dealers, it's a chance to meet major collectors
that might never come to your gallery.
Oh, Evan, I loved the show.
And for us, well, we're here for other reasons.
Anika.
-Patrice.
-Why deli bags?
-It's just what I use mostly.
-The everyday, the benign,
the invisibility of utilitarianism.
-The bags, they get the job done.
-Your prices are quite high for an emerging artist.
And, you know, while there's a long wait list for the work,
I can't seem to find anyone who actually owns one.
-I, for one, applaud collectors who buy art for art's sake,
not just for tax write-offs and social bragging.
I completely agree,
too bad they're so rare.
So, the million-dollar question:
What's next for the Bagman?
-Nothing.
-Taking time to enjoy your success?
-Nah, I, uh,
just don't wanna make art anymore.
-As a dealer, the business part of me is heartbroken.
But as an art lover, I couldn't be more impressed
by the honesty and integrity of this artist.
-So this is really the last works
we're going to see from the Bagman?
-He's going to unveil one last piece
the day after tomorrow, three PM, right here.
But I wanna be discreet about it so that people experience
the work and aren't influenced by the fact
that the market thinks he's hot right now.
-I completely understand
and I'll be discreet.
-Patrice, Mae Li here, good news,
Roman definitely wants the piece.
Bad news, he's not sure about the meet and greet,
but he's willing to pay triple the price.
Ahhh!
- Hi, Mae Li,
three PM tomorrow or the deal is off.
-None of his bags are for sale?
-The artist doesn't wanna present the work
as a commodity.
-The review did a wonderful job
of conveying the power of the piece.
And I'm not afraid to tell you
I have not been that turned on in years.
And this is Miami.
-Come on, not even an early sketch?
-The earlier pieces are already with
collectors I'm afraid.
-You led us to believe there would be work available to us.
-I'm just as upset as you are.
-What about the pieces you brought here?
-Exhibition only, I'm afraid.
-Not even for an old friend?
-I do have a new work for sale,
I'm just not exhibiting it till tomorrow.
Tomorrow--Tomorrow-- Tomorrow at three.
Accompanied by a live performance.
-I'll take it. -We'll take it.
-I'll take it.
-It's yours, meet me at the VIP tent after the show.
I'll have a car waiting.
-We've hit a problem.
Anton.
-You said this thing was gonna be a really big deal
full of billionaires.
There's barely anybody here.
-Today and tomorrow are VIP screenings only.
It's not open to the public yet.
-Where's Reg? I wanna make sure he's not skippin' town.
And you two do what you said you were gonna do.
-Will you keep your voice down? Okay?
Everything's organized.
Just let Reggie and I do our thing.
-Which is what?
I'll see you tomorrow.
You really think you're gonna make it to Cuba in that?
-It's the best Gordon could do on short notice.
I mean it has to.
-Whatever happens, whatever everybody says,
we're just making art.
It's all the dealers are gonna think.
-Never really had an audience before, you know?
- Oh.
-What's this?
-Artist cut and our legitimacy.
-Alibi.
Thank you.
But you know, if we pull this off,
that's a pretty big fucking if,
doesn't mean that you're gonna be free of Anton and Andrei.
-What are we gonna do about Anton?
What?
-He wants to be here.
Well, that puts him here.
Think about it.
He's not supposed to be here, but I am.
I'm the artist.
-I'm glad to hear you finally admit it.
-Right, so if he's here, we should put him to work.
-To work?
Hmm.
- Hi, Patrice, got your message.
We're on our way.
Roman is so excited.
- Patricia, Patricia my card.
- We must speak with you.
- Dr. and Mrs. Galvinson.
-We're willing to cover all fabrication costs.
-Oh!
-Hey Siri, text Patrice Capullo we've arrived.
-I've just spoken with Art News, Art Forum,
Art in America,
and they'll all syndicate to global press.
-I'm definitely interested in that.
-Well, if it's about financial compensation--
-Thank you.
Thank you everyone for your interest and support.
I'm looking forward to talking to you after the performance.
- Patrice.
May I introduce Mr. Roman Rashnikov.
-Mr. Rashnikov, welcome.
Your support for artists is well known,
as well as your impressively immeasurable collection.
This is my assistant, Leslie.
-Assistant?
-I've been telling Roman about your recent
show in New York
and he's so excited at this opportunity to add--
-I'm sure you are, but I have to warn you,
this new piece is not for everyone's taste.
-I'm sure I'll be able to handle it, honey.
-Hmm.
-He's so funny.
-Hilarious.
-Patrice, I can assure you definitively
that Mr. Rashnikov is the most deserving person
of the Bagman's work.
-Hmm. Leslie,
while Mr. Rashnikov and the Bagman speak,
why don't you take Mae Li
down to the storage to see the new piece.
-Ohh.
-The new piece?
-Yes, it's on the shelf in a case.
-Um, okay, follow me.
-I can't wait to see it.
-Mr. Rashnikov, the Bagman.
-Finally, men speak.
So tell me...
-Wasn't she in his other video?
Where did you study?
-Fucking leeches, these dealers.
- I'm self-taught...
been honing my craft for years.
-I enjoy...
how your work comes from shadows.
Places that most people find discomfort in.
Mae Li doesn't always have a good eye
for what intrigues me, but not this time.
Is this it?
-Not yet.
-What does the work mean?
-Truth.
What is more important than the truth?
See, I'm finally allowing the world
to see a part of me that had been hidden for years.
-Which part?
Tell me.
Which part?
-The dark part.
-Oh my god.
-What the fuck happened?
-She out-muscled Anton.
-Oh, that's bullshit, pussy.
-Pussy? Looks like you needed a fucking step ladder
to choke her out. -Oh, fuck off.
-We're not gonna fit two bodies in that crate.
- Figure it out.
-Sorry to keep you waiting.
When I told everyone the Bagman wanted you
to have the piece, they just snapped.
New money.
-Congratulations, how would you like to pay?
- Oh yes, of course.
This means so much to us.
-Oh, I'm so happy for you.
-Rest assured the work will truly have a place
of honor in our collection.
-I'll throw in an Ed Ruscha if you swipe the fucking card.
-Thank you, thank you.
-Be careful, you two.
-So, how'd it go?
-You were right, he's the perfect man for the piece.
-Yeah, he just about died for it.
- Amazing.
-This is the piece actually,
he wants you to ship the address on the label
as soon as possible, like--
...right now.
- Oh, okay.
Where is Roman?
-He said he wanted to party.
-Dude's a party animal.
-Leslie, I left something for you in the back room.
-Copy, on it Patrice.
-Oh, um, wait. Um.
Can--
Fuck.
Oh-ooh-kay.
Hello?
-Hmm.
-How do you think Bas Jan Ader would feel
about Jimmy Buffet?
-Well, most people would think he wouldn't like him,
but Bas Jan was an absurdist.
Good luck, Reggie.
Hey, yeah,
Grace freaked when she heard about her first museum show.
Went on a four day rave.
-I don't know how to forward a call.
So just put them on hold and call for me or Patrice.
- Nice article in the paper about your new digs.
- You reading the art section now?
- Actually, I was scanning the obituaries
for your name when I ran across the article.
Congratulations kid.
Looks like you pulled it off.
- Well, well, well.
-Everybody knows you got something on Anton.
Whatever it is, it's so good
his father hasn't made you a permanent resident
of his walk-in freezer.
-What is that?
-An invoice.
For a piece I sold
to this nice wealthy couple on the Upper West Side.
Or was it Chelsea?
It's a unique piece.
One of a kind really,
kind of like your fingerprints, Anton.
-Do you have any idea what you're doing?
- But Rashnikov and his bodyguard,
they found his boat floating in the sea
about 30 miles from Havana and nobody in it.
Coast Guard says rough seas.
-Hmm.
-Cops got no body.
They got no case.
Too bad Reggie wasn't so lucky.
-Hmm? -Hmm.
Come on, kid, where'd he disappear to?
-Maybe he needed a mental health break.
-Don't bullshit a bullshitter.
How'd you pull it off?
-Oh, and I'm kind of a big deal in the art world again.
So if anything should happen to me,
you'll find I have just as many rich
and powerful friends as you do.
And your chops...
they're a bit dry.
- Oy gevalt.
-Yeah, I gotta ask, what the fuck's with the Yiddish?
-What, a Black man can't speak Yiddish?
Williamsburg wasn't always hipsters
and hemp seeds in the fifties.
- Today, we bring you a story
involving a missing Russian billionaire.
Some people say his disappearance
is art imitating life.
And others say it's life imitating...
murder.
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