Original subtitles

- Morning, Henry. - Morning, Mrs Ling.

Give me 8 lbs of ice.

Buy one more packet. I emigrate tomorrow.

It may melt.

- Buy one more packet to freeze them. - Okay.

Bye-bye -Morning, Mrs Ling.

- Morning, Mrs Wang fixed your emigration? - Yes

I really envy you. Bye-bye.

Mrs Li, didn't you say you want to emigrate?

I've already finished my stay as an immigrant.

You're lucky. My visa has just been approved.

Good.

Mrs Pak, they say you've emigrated.

Yes, to the Philippines. I return here for shopping.

The Philippines? Why, of all countries? Have you got a relative over there?

No, that ex-Filipina maid won a lottery in HK

and she wrote to hire me as amaid there.

It's better than none.

- Fortunes do run in circles. Bye-bye. - Bye-bye.

It's cold.

Be flexible and you get along better.

There's central heating over there.

Shovelling etc. There you do everything yourself.

Why do you want to emigrate then?

For the sake of the next generation.

Take care.

It's a special for a neighbor. You can't get such a big fridge with $500.

Kid, don't touch my things Once broken, they can't be sold. Be nice.

Mrs Ling, how much for this pair of shoes?

$150, it's new, it's cheap.

- Mrs Ling, make it $100, okay? - $100 for two chairs. That's a deal.

So you're here. Come with me

- and you've nothing to lose. - Okay.

What? To buy a cheongsam?

You wanted to buy pillowcases and quilt covers for Ming in Australia?

- It's a pity you can't get them. - Why not? Look.

It's so big. How can you wear it?

I've lost weight after I got married. This was the dress I wore on my wedding night.

The sleeve can be cut off to make a pillowcase and the body, a bedspread. Great combination!

You can't buy this embroidered silk with money.

To make pillowcase for Ming?

That means he smells your armpit odor every night.

There's no more smell after all these years, idiot.

Smell it if you don't believe.

- No more smell? - No.

Smell this dress, not me.

Right -No smell?

No.

Look inside, it's in tatters.

What? It's suede.

Suede?

Genuine leather smell and I can't stand that This decorant is free with 6-month insurance.

A brand new Sea Gull cooler used for only ♪ years. I'll make it $3800 for a lucky sum

$3800? Take it back.

Frankly, I won't budge even one cent.

How much are you offering?

- I only have $2000 -Okay, that's a deal

I should've offered $1000 only

I'm honest. Tell you what the defects of this car are.

- It can't run on muddy roads. - Why?

The threads tire are worn out.

For every 300 meters; A rest to cool off the engine.

Why?

Even in hanging, you need a rest, as the saying goes.

- And don't put too much trust on the breaks. - Is there no break?

It doesn't work all the time.

Pump the break when there's a car 100 meters in front.

What if it's not done?

The car in front will suffer.

Now make a round and come back.

If you don't like it, I'll repossess at half price.

That's fixed.

Are you buying a horse or a car?

$2000 for this lesson? So they say, you benefit from good advice.

Sister, let me use the phone first

I want to tell Pao our application has been approved

I want to tell Paul I'll soon meet him in canada.

It's now three o'clock in the morning over there.

You may cause him a nightmare.

Nonsense, he's so anxious for me to go there

Paul, what's talking you so long?

I told you, there's no such person.

- Wrong number? - Who says?

I'll come soon. Don't cry.

He cries out of joy.

Listen, be nice or I won't care for you.

He really is emotional Mammy, you want to use the phone?

No, go on with your chat

Paul, mammy needs me for an errand.

Don't, it's so embarrassing.

Don't, you speak first.

I love you.

Don't make too many demands.

- Is this telephone for sale? - Yes, let my daughter finish first.

Don't sell it then.

That's all, bye-bye.

So you put it through even without lines.

What a shame!

I'm lucky, I've made over $7, 000 so easily.

Mammy, are we to sleep on the floor tonight?

Even the tissue has been sold.

- There's still a pile of newspaper left. - Use newspapers?

Can we cook with newspapers?

There's always a way out.

Even the pots have been sold.

Mammy, let's go to eat in paul's restaurant.

Okay -Don't!

Last time we mentioned his name

and they took me for the Captain and your mammy for a mamasan.

- And they took you for taxi dancers too. - Are you sure you want to go there?

Last time Paul didn't fix everything.

- Stop dreaming, he won't remember you. - Well, quiet!

New furniture, fridge and stoves will be brought in.

Did you buy everything new?

By installment.

We'll ship them away when we emigrate to Canada.

They have no way to claim from us.

You really have no scruples

I'm not cheating the poor This is Japanese Department Store

I want them to make good my loss as a refugee.

Have you been a refugee?

- Why didn't you press the bell? - Sold for $15.

Are you the Lings? Here's the furniture.

Yes, bring it in.

Put it over there. Move these inside.

Please put it over there.

You don't need so much to cover the loss.

Watch out! Don't break my things.

Mrs Ling, aren't you emigrating? Why buy new furniture?

We can maintain the tenancy all the same.

To feed the rats?

Daddy, don't tell her the truth or she won't pay.

Nonsense, Mrs Tsui is an honest person Is that right, Mrs Tsui?

Right. In fact, you've rented my flat for all these years

and I'm grateful you're willing to move out.

Mrs Chen on the ground floor has already moved

I want to sell the whole house before emigration.

One month for one year means 10 months for 10 years.

Well, if you can make your tenant move out too

I'll round it up to one year.

- Are you serious? - Yes.

What a waste!

Quiet. Honesty is the best policy Is that right, Mrs Tsui?

Don't worry, I'll deliver it to you.

Good. That's a deal. I'll make an offer.

Take care.

You know why Pao paid over $3000 to rant such a small area from us?

He wants to fool around with Ling-ling.

Not fooling around, it's wooing. Be considerate to him.

If he knows we're emigrating he may insist on staying.

But I have a way out.

What lousy ideas have you got?

Pay him whatever compensation you get from the landlord.

Never, instead of paying him I'll get something out of him.

That's no way to get on.

A raid again?

To wet my pants to satisfy you?

Popo, behave.

- You really are unromantic. - Glad you understand.

You know how I admire you?

Yes, that's why I've hired you Who'd have accepted the pay of $800 only?

I did it for you, not for money.

Pao.

Popo, don't crush me.

Don't you know you've a strong smell, Miss?

Pao Yu-lu -You're finished.

Big Brother.

Big Brother's cheated by you. See for yourself.

See if he's a goalie.

Big Brother, sit down first.

Do you want to win?

Of course, maniac.

Had our first and 2nd choice goalies been well

we's have won this Cup for sure.

Which is the rival team in the next match?

South China, it's a strong rival So we wanted a good goal keeper from you.

It was my last stake.

Well, tell your team to fight hard Tell them they have backs against the wall.

Without a goalie, they must be more determined.

Tell them they even get the goalie's share of bonus

and his half month's pay if they win.

- Will you pay? - He will.

The moment Tai goes on field, the fans come alive.

To boo him?

Good, we mean to make South China unhappy If they got a chance to shoot, squander it.

The forwards naturally want to score more So shoot 40 yards away.

Even 40 yards won't work.

Last year there was only one 40-yard goal.

Big Brother, it's back-against-wall tactics Doesn't it make any sense?

It seems to make sense.

Well, I'll hire you.

Thank you, Mr Huang, thank you, Mr Pao.

Tai, remember to Wear one more jersey on field

I'll bring a hot water bottle too.

Don't forget your promise of the half month's pay?

OK

Let's go. Let me order your boots. Size?

No. 13 for left foot, No. 5-1/2 for right foot.

Don't be so dirty. Are you trying to molest me?

Don't worry, I prefer to do things aboveboard.

Good.

The sea passage for Shanghai?

Why are there two tickets?

I want to keep you company First class cabin, for two only.

Sorry, I only like the one at home.

I won't force you, I'm conservative

I'm as reserved as any other girl, if not more

I thought you'd keep secret your love forever

but you've made everything so open.

Forget today. I'll stick to secret love

I believe Heaven will award me Some day I'll get you drunk...

Then what?

I'll swallow you up.

What a nympho!

Mammy, okay? Shampoo hurts my eyes Turn on the tap for me quicklt.

Okay, your daddy's installing the tap.

Okay?

Don't hurt her eye.

Don't use her sex appeal, you may stand to lose.

No, Pao is cunning.

No cats refuse to eat fish. Be sure to expose it

I can't be wrong. Pao is a gentleman.

Are you so sure? I'll bet anything with you -Even my life.

If Pao were baited. I'd control your live.

If he does not, then your life's mine.

You call that a gamble of my life.

Mammy, Pao is back.

Get me the camera quickly.

Go in and bring out sister's dress.

Don't just sit there. Go in.

Sister, I'm getting my things.

- Ling-ling, have you got water? - Yes.

OK -OK

Darling, let's go and see a Cantonese opera.

Mammy, where's my dress?

Never mind. Just come out by yourself Anyway, there's no men in this house.

Cantonese opera, to me, must end in mayhem.

- Pretend to close the door. - It's fixed. Let's go.

You're clumsy.

Coming. Let's go into hiding.

He's opening the door. Hurry up.

You're clumsy

- you're hiding in my daughter's room. - Come to our room.

Is it the wrong house? It's a sex den!

Fung shui fish?

Even the curtain has been changed.

Wooden furniture, new patern.

Sit down for a while.

Look at him.

Ling-ling, have you got water?

Have you seen anything?

No.

Go inside to get a dress for me.

Okay.

Now I've the chance to go into this boudoir Now I prefer to go into the bathroom.

You're much heftier than 3 months ago, Ling-ling.

Get me the dress as I told you.

What a mess.

- Have you found it? - Not yet.

Pajamas?

It's worth smelling it.

It's Ka-ka's.

- Where is it? - Have you found it?

- No, where is it? - In the wardrobe.

Wardrobe?

Okay? Cream or pink?

Cream, it's here.

What? Why the umbrella here?

- Can't an umbrella be put in a closet? - Au automatic one too.

It's so called because it's automatic.

- Well, where's my dress? - Coming. Let's go into hiding.

Show me.

Topless?

Wait. Let me go in again to get it.

What are you up to?

It's such a mess I can't find it.

I've found it. That pink one, okay

I've found it.

Open the door and come out to get it.

Stop dreaming, he won't remember you.

There are not many people around.

- How can I open it? - Use your hand.

Don't try to take advantage of me!

I'll turn around. Come out to get it.

Come on -No.

Quiet. Honesty is the best policy.

What are you doing?

It's all right.

Mammy wants to test if Pao's a gentleman.

Pao, you come in to put it on for me. Okay?

Come on.

Pao,

come in.

Keep cool.

Have you come?

She's cool, I'm impulsive When she's impulsive, I'll keep calm.

Why don't you come in?

Are you coming in or not? I'll be mad if you don't.

Well, I must control myself.

I must control myself.

Let out some energy. Cool down.

Why are you not coming in?

You'd better come out to get it. It's at the door.

- I'll turn around to avoid seening you. - Pao,

don't worry, there's no one around.

Come on.

Pao.

Pao.

Even a saint can't control himself.

Stop making fun of me.

What are you doing?

How do I know?

- What happened? - How do I know?

Pao, mammy wants to test if you're a gentleman.

Test me out? You want to frame me.

Not my fault, I'm not the instigator.

Not my fault either. I don't know anything.

- Where's mammy? - Mammy?

Mammy.

It's cold. Take a photo.

No. What for?

If you want Pao to Move out, tell him direct.

- Want me to move out? - Yes.

It was her idea.

It's cold.

Pao, Pao.

He's mad.

He sure is. Put on the cotton padded gown.

Pao, why are you moving out?

Don't touch me, I'm not in the mood.

Let's talk it over.

Why do I respect you?

I hope some day you may become my parents-in-law

I prefer carrot to stick. I'm returning to Shanghai now. Don't touch my things.

Pao.

When I'm mad, I don't give a damn.

Don't cry. Go to bed.

How can I sleep?

Take a sleeping pill, then count sheep Count to 100 and you'll fall asleep.

Sleep, think no more of it.

Rush.

Mammy

$2000 for such a car.

Creep.

Gurse your family.

Follow me to the road of hell.

You're welcome.

Follow me, hurry up.

Go and register at once. Check out you're ac balance.

Check the deposit? What for?

We have no money to deposit.

It's the same amount above or below the line We're fair, we draw the line clearly.

The rich are divided into rich, very rich, most rich.

The poor are divided into poor, very poor, most poor.

Understand?

We're not most poor. Go over there.

What's wrong? I was a billionaire.

You bequeathed your assets to your children.

Now you're more poor. Wait for their paper money

I shouldn't have left my assets to them.

Poor ghost, poor ghost.

Brother cop, I'm Ling Hao-his. We want to check how much money we have.

The net worth.

Over $7000.

Buddy, are we poor or rich?

Most poor.

We're inverstment immigrants

- we spent a million to buy houses. - Right.

This is Hong Kong. If you want to be rich ghost.

Go back to the country of investment.

How?

Joss Paper Flight 444 is ready to take off.

Brother Ox, we're new here, we're foregin immigrants.

We don't know how to go to our new country.

Right.

It's not as simple as you thought.

We have houses over there.

Houses are for men only. Only those with graveyards can take this flight.

- What now, daddy? - Well...

That depends on what your descendants up there do.

If they are good you can take this flight.

Our whole family is dead. We have no posterity.

There's nothing I can do for you then.

But you still have a month to get back up there get someone to buy graveyards abroad

before you can take this flight.

Don't commit any crime, understand?

Yes, yes.

Remember not to commit any crime.

Daddy, get back up there quickly.

How?

Taoist priest Ma Fai,

I have never seen anything like this before.

There probably isn't enough for them,

hurry up.

Get the talismen.

No more, only this yellow paper.

No problem. Let me change stars.

Hark ye lost souls, Government takes care of you.

Why are you continuing the mischief?

Presto, kill all oxen, ghosts, snakes and gods!

Buddy, let me burn you the silver ingots.

Chi -What's it?

- Who has been here? - No one.

Try to remember.

It seems Taoist priest Sing has been here.

Bring him out for me quickly.

Ma Fai.

Why are you so mad?

- Outrageous! - What's it?

Did you steal my 4 stacks of paper money?

Nonsense. I've been used to poverty

I didn't steal yours

32 have died and I've burnt them all Why are they not enough?

Not my fault. We Indians are honest and Loyal.

Yes, you're honest and Loyal Don't ever think you watchmen are special.

Don't insult us Indians There are Indian backs and goldsmiths.

With your brethren as watcheman too.

Just you wait, there will be Singhs every where

and you'll be a watchman.

There will be stars over you.

Well, I'll catch several ghosts to fool you.

Mr Leung Wai-sang died at 15:45 hours with no kin surviving him.

Mr Cheung Tai-man was killed in drunken driving.

Mr Cheung Wai-lun died at 16:30 hours.

He took Mandrax by mistake and was choked by bones.

The funeral procession tomorrow will go from Kowloon to Shenzhen

I'll bet with you when I wake up tomorrow.

Taoist priest Ma Fai.

Taoist priest Ma Fai.

I can't hold on. Please possess me, master.

Damn you.

Taoist priest Ma Fai.

Mammy.

Help us now or I'll tell the spirits You performed rites for them this way

I'll call them all up to haunt you

I'll complain against you to the Urban Council.

So Monkey and the saints will all appear.

I promise to help you and I must make it clear I'm broke.

It's all stars.

Now listen, you must spend lots of money this time

I'm broke.

About how much money is needed?

According to information I've gathered

it takes about $55000 to buy land in Canada and to ship the ashes.

That means over $200000 for all four persons.

Bad, we've already remitted our money to Canada to buy houses.

How can we have so much cash now?

- That's too bad. - Good, I can Pao again.

Pao Yu-lu. Let's try to get his help.

Keep watch.

Miss Yip, stone steps ahead. Take care.

- Don't worry, I'm here. - Inspector Ho.

Miss Yip, are you sure you remember Pao Yu-lu?

Yes, they gang-raped me, the 6 of them

I remember clearly someone said: It's your turn, Pao.

So I'm sure the one beside me is Pao-Yu-lu.

Though I didn't see his face

I'll never forget the smell.

- Smell? - Yes.

No problem. When he disembarks in minute I'll have you smell him.

No, he may kill me.

He threatened to kill me if I reported to police.

Don't worry, I am here.

Go and sit over there.

Hold it, don't sail.

- He's here, he's around. - You mean who?

- Don't let him catch sight of me. - Did you see him?

Keung, pull him over.

Mr Pao, Inspector Ho wants to chat with you.

- What is it? - Go over and you'll see.

It's nice of you to meet me here.

- What can I do for you, Inspector Ho? - Pao Yu-lu.

- Popo. - I'm afraid of hearing his voice.

Popo.

- Stop, or I'll shoot you dead. - Miss Yip, try to smell and let me know.

Is that him?

Seems to be.

You must make sure or it will mean trouble. Don't move.

I can't forget his odor. Let me smell.

That's easy.

I'll swallow you up, as I said.

Pao, I mean what I said

I'll swallow you up, then desert you. Okay?

Thank you, gentlemen. Bye-bye.

You held me to be molested by her, sir.

Stay where you are.

Stop.

You're charged with three counts:

False reporting, obstruction to and fooling a police officer.

You charge me? You think I'm simple-minded?

If I were an old vegetable vendor

would you have taken me here to identify someone?

I'm his secretary. You tried only to molest me.

You made sheep's eyes at me for one good hour.

You think I'm blind? Idiot, I wanted only to make fun of you

I enjoy fooling you bloody men, So what?

Don't stare. Have you never seen a shrew before?

I was reincarnated from Spider.

Now I can try my Iron Palm I've practiced for years.

You asked for it.

You asked for it. Go now.

Thank God, it was all your fault.

Mine again? You got bewitched yourself.

Well, when will you give me new informers? The old ones have all emigrated.

Let me introduce to you some refugees.

No wonder we died without being known.

Never imagined he'd react so strongly

I must be more honest from on.

- What are you doing? - It's me.

Don't worry, possess yourself.

- Mammy, take a look at me. - Mammy, Pao is back.

He's still mad at us.

Go down to stop him. I must prepare.

You returned from Shanghai?

Pao, are you still mad at me?

Why not? I know ot was your mammy's idea

but you shouldn't have played so well.

Go out for a walk with me, will you?

Okay.

Sorry, we had no choice, we had to emigrate.

Emigrate?

So we must vacate you from the house.

You've to leave me then. Won't you regret it?

I...

Why is your hand so cold?

No idea. Pao, hold me.

Great.

- What are you doing? - Real soft.

Don't try anything. At worst I'll pay the money.

Yes, money is what we want, but

we want sex too, as we are so dubbed.

Don't touch my girlfriend, or I'll fight with you.

Fight?

Come on, then. I'm not afraid.

Get your arms and be ready for hell.

It's won't look like rape without struggle.

Don't try anything; I won't let you go even as a ghost.

Don't scare me, I'd like to see a ghost for a change. Come on.

Let my cudgel beat you up like hell.

Don't go. You've worked me into a rage

I have no chance to show my skill.

I told you not to worry, Ling-ling.

Pao, you really are brave.

Why have you got two lumps on your back?

Come and have puree. Swallow's nests sweetened.

Pao, we're not asking too much Only $250000 within one month.

Luckily I didn't bite. You want to frame me again.

You really are good for nothing.

Pao, do something.

You're finished for sure.

Pao, we don't mean to hurt you.

Just use your expertise to help us be men again.

We badly need $250000; We're serious.

No way to raise so much money so soon!

Unless he solicits and she sells her body.

Let me solicit. Anyway I'm a phantom.

Fink? Yes, I want you to be a fink.

But you can't earn $250000 alone

I'll sell myself.

Auntie, you can't, with a figure like yours.

And Ling-ling is not of age.

Even if she is, I won't let her do it.

I...

You're a volunteer. Don't regret.

Anyway, let daddy make the decision. Right, Pao?

Me.

Uncle, you can't earn enough being an informer.

You must get extra money from the law breaker.

What then?

Collect money from both sides by

informing against the criminal and the police.

Why is Inspector Ho still not here?

He is always late.

What does he look like?

It's how he looks that matters.

Disgusting.

- Behavior? - Vulgar.

He doesn't look it.

- How do you know? Have you seen him? - Could it be him?

Sonny.

- Don't make fun of me, sir. - What? Bang!

- Is he a fink? - Yes.

Sit down.

Inspector Ho -This is Mrs Ling.

Mr Ling, you look presentable but crafty. Sit down.

You, too.

This is to punish you for defaming me.

Plastic bullets only, you won't die.

What? Look, it's bruised.

Go now, or I'll make you like a beehive.

Go on with your chat. Excuse me.

Mr Ling, a fink should be all eyes and ears.

Did you find anything wrong when you came in?

I guess the man left of 1st table is a pusher.

Wild guess only? A cop gets clobbered for it.

- What's it? - Over here.

- Are you sure? Go and search him. - Now?

Police -What is it?

The one behind.

Get up.

- What for? - Search him.

- What are you doing? - It's all right, a partner.

A partner, sit down.

- Search him quickly. - He told me to do it.

You possess arms -Not mine.

- You're evil. - Go on with your chat. Excuse me.

One pack of cards, and a girl's photo The way she looks, she must be a whore.

She's my wife.

Your wife? You forced a

- civil servant's wife into prostitution. - Not my fault.

Well, buddy, search him Why are you getting my things out?

Don't search any more, I'll take them out myself.

He promised to take them out himself.

Chieh.

Go now.

Listen, cough up or stay with us.

Inspector, Inspector.

I have an idea.

I don't believe it. See who can't get out of here.

You don't? Don't go, Bitch. Sit down.

- What are you doing? - Chop him.

You all don't move!

The gun is real!

Don't move!

A fake. Finish him off.

Chop him -Don't go.

Where?

Inspector Ho, Fixed.

Where's that girl who talked terms just now?

Miss, it's all right.

Thank you, gentlemen.

I was helping someone to get it. Not my fault.

You're a good sidekick. You're promising.

Really not my fault -Go now.

Don't take me.

Helen, Paul Siu is here -Is he?

He has booked all your girls for sessions.

What girl has he brought with him?

No idea. He wants both the best and the ugliest.

Where can I get the ugly one?

Try something yourself.

Luckily we have the beautiful new girl, Ka-ka.

The ugly one is Li Ai, ruined by plastic surgery.

Paul, I tried to make money because of you.

I don't know if I've let you down.

Formerly I wouldn't offer myself to you.

Now I've to sell myself

Paul, don't you understand me?

To me, you're always my Prince Charming.

- What kind of a Prince Charming? - Paul is known to everyone.

Ask him which girl hasn't gone to bed with him.

Even I Li Al have been intimate with him.

Prince Charming.

Quiet! Master Siu is here. Be ready for the session.

Hurry up.

Could it really be him?

Come, come

Paul, I'm coming

Paul.

Look, lots of money.

Play braking, $1000.

You're ugly. Get out of my sight and take $1000.

She's terrible. Fix it.

- You know what to do. - Come on, fix it yourself.

I will

I'll get you a virgin to turn you on Don't be scared away.

A Frankenstein. Tell her to jump in.

Hurry up.

Turn around for a pleasant surprise.

Okay. What is it?

So it's you.

So it really is you.

I never dreamed you'd work here.

Formerly I could never win her favors.

Now she's everybody's sweetheart.

You know each other?

Yes, and very well to.

Come here.

I can't stay. Get someone else for him.

Why? Have I got no money? Come here.

I do want to go to bed with you.

Let's go to bed.

- What do you mean? - How much?

Don't think money can get you anything. You're cheap.

Ka-ka.

Will you let me take a look?

Paul, what a shame. She's gone.

Ka-ka.

He's my boyfriend

I become a whore, hoping to emigrate to see him.

Ka-ka, I've heard familiar touching stories.

What is man? Is it worth dying for him.

If I were you, I'd have a clean break with him.

If he wants to show off, get something out of him.

I already said she wouldn't come.

What? Something disgraceful?

Paul, I'll give you another chance to count it -1,2,3.

She's back.

Well, why quarrel with the almighty dolor?

Have a kiss first

Paul, you're tops.

First night, market price $15000.

I'm in the mood now. I'll pay you $50000

Paul, don't be too harsh.

What to cut a dash?

Go out, all of you.

Come on get up -Let's go to bed.

Can't I just have a look?

- What's there to see? I'll do it with you. - You're evil.

Come, come.

- Don't be in the way. I can't see it. - It can't be seen.

So soon -Why?

- What are you doing? - Something wrong

Paul.

How come, Ka-ka?

Don't be in my way, Ka-ka.

Ka-ka.

Ka-ka, come back, don't go.

Paul -Go away.

- Paul, don't! - Ka-ka.

What's wrong?

Go away.

He's good for nothing.

Ka-ka, I'll seek vengeance for sure.

Am I not beautiful?

Tell your parents everything's almost fixed.

The land in Canada shaded by trees is good The verdant pasture is not bad.

Would there be dog droppings?

They say Canadian dogs are obedient.

They know how to go to a dog toilet themselves. Men are different.

- Mr Ma, hello. - Mrs Ling, how are you?

Sorry, I've been feeling itchy as if bitten by insects.

Ling-ling, scratch for me.

Show me your hands.

Higher.

Mrs Ling, you're changing.

Me changing? Into what?

A vampire -Vampire?

Crazy, vampires are thin But I'm so fat.

Scratch for me.

There are two cases of changing into vampires.

First, you get fleshy and won't decay.

Hop for years and you'll be thin. Right?

Second, you get cursed and die without decaying. You're so fat, you'll see.

Whether you're cursed or not, you know better.

Me cursed? If I were, all people in HK would die.

You're cursed many times over than I What a filthy mouth you're got.

No wonder you're a Taoist priest without children.

Even if you have, they'd be freaks.

Have you finished? Mrs Ling.

Mammy, Uncle Ma cares for us.

Look at you, mind the last days of your life.

Even if you had a lucky charm you might get buried alive by a collapsing wall.

Look in a mirror, you have no bottom

I must go to a toilet. It itches badly.

Finished soon, his heels don't touch the ground.

Crazy, me to become a vampire? Why am I not hopping?

- Mammy, Uncle Ma cares for us. - Mrs Ling.

Mammy, what are you doing?

Mammy.

Oh, my goodness!

What a perfect fit!

Why laugh?

What's so funny, uncle?

Let me tell you something amusing

I'll kill you if you say it.

Kill me?

I'll blow the lid off everything Ling-ling, untie it.

- Mammy, don't! - Untie it.

It's only for fun. Don't take it seriously.

I like hopping. I hop, hop.

Don't hop.

Mammy -Auntie.

Make way.

Pao

I hop, I hop -Pao

I like hopping, I'll hop Don't crush Pao to death!

- Hop, hop. - Don't hop. He can't stand it.

Get a barbell to hold her down.

Get up. See if you're all right. Bend waist.

- Mammy, are you all right? - Yes.

You want to kill Pao.

Auntie, that's better than massage.

Are you tired hopping like that?

- Mammy knows Chi Kung. She's not tired. - Right.

Chi Kung.

Well, I can introduce work for her.

- To help subsidize the family expenses. - Right, good.

It's great.

Come here, my turn.

Come here, my turn.

I trample, trample.

My turn.

Coming.

My turn.

Everybody has his turn.

My turn.

Everybody has a chance.

Come to this side -Come over.

Okay. What is it?

Great, here, here.

You want it?

My turn.

You want it, bastard? Come on!

Body message.

Great?

Here's a total of $43500

I've got over $30000 too.

Mammy, take a rest first

$79000, all told.

- Now, see how you do it, ka-ka. - I may have a rest now

I won't let everybody down

I've pawned my valuables to buy a bank draft.

Here's over $150000. Isn't it enough?

$150000 plus $70000, still a bit short.

Still not enough?

Brother Ma, don't give yourself too high a price

I haven't spent one cent out of you.

Don't keep a close eye one me

I won't let you go

I still have $300. Tale it.

Not my fault, foregin currency has gone up in value.

Still $20000 short.

We still can't make it then.

No way to raise so much money so soon!

Daddy, I have an idea.

Pao has written me a check

$30000. You and Pao...

Don't frame him.

He knows my whole family except me works.

He gave me all the savings

as reward for going out with only him.

That means private sessions.

Did he make any demands on you?

No, but I did Make Demands on him

and he controlled himself each time.

He said he's different.

He values everlasting love over possession.

What an impotent moron Pao is.

No, he's honest and straightforward.

Since the Muken Incident of 1931. Could never find a better partriotic young man.

What has that to do with the date?

Daddy was born on that day.

No wonder the Japanese invaded China!

When were you born then?

October 10th.

No wonder it's a National Day.

Well, no more nonsense Ma Fai, help me process quickly.

There has been some decay and smell in my flesh

I can't wait too long. I'd better go early.

What about Pao? Leave him behind?

What on earth do you want?

Use these for Tomb-Visit and these for seeing patients.

Anything for wooing?

Wooing? Wooing who?

Lotus is good for wooing an elderly rich woman.

Use tulip for a married woman.

She won't come to you unless she's sad.

Use a skylark to make an honest woman.

Out of a whore in the gutter.

To steal affections, use gladiolus.

It could lead to tragedies anytime.

What about normal love?

Is there a normal person? Use roses. It's thorny and hurts.

Last time that woman taught me to buy cactus.

Only a miser uses cacti to woo girls Look at you, you'd better buy plastic flowers.

Anyway, you're a hypocrite

I'll buy roses. What color?

Yellow means thinking; Red means heart

I'll buy red.

Red for you. People with hearts have no brains.

He's miserly, and doesn't own a car Yet he has the guts to woo my ex-girlfriend.

He's a sponger.

- Helen, Paul Siu is here. - How's it, boss?

Are you sure it's him? Don't fool me.

He introduced Ka-ka to work here Should be her boyfriend, but I know nothing.

Well, forget everything Don't tell anyone I've been looking for him

I will.

- Pay her $5000 to have her get out. - Okay. What is it?

Don't get into fatal consequences.

Okay, not your business -Go now.

Paul, shall we get more men to finish off his whole family

I know what to do.

Drive and follow him.

Sister, are we really leaving this world?

Of course.

Any means to avoid breaking Pao's heart?

I won't hide anything from him. Love is sincere.

You've already fooled him. What now?

At worst I'll let him fool you in another life.

He'll only feel sorry if he knows we died.

If he knows we fooled him too, he may hate us.

Why give him the impression the world is so cold?

Right, we should die in front of him. He may even think of me then.

Then he may stay unmarried for me.

Isn't that too cruel?

Well, he will offer sacrifices to us on every Chung Yang or Ching Ming festival.

That's all.

Why don't you dance?

Let me show you something.

It's beautiful. Taoist Priest Ma gave it to me.

Down-to-earth?

Pao's back. Give me back the clothing quietly.

- Pao. - Congratulations, uncle, auntie!

Ma just told me you've all packed up We may depart any time.

Yes.

The red rose represents my wish.

Pao, thank for the care you've shown to us.

Enough, uncle. Don't try to frame me again.

If you do, just tell me and I'll do anything you want.

- No. - Don't take pains to think of tricks

I already said there's no need for that.

Listen, you may call me father-in-law now.

- Right, call me mother-in-law. - Call me sister.

What about Ling-ling?

Anything you like.

Good.

Darling, darling.

Don't sound so sad.

It's more touching than Romeo and Juliet.

Don't cry. I'll be your husband all my life.

Ling-ling, I've thought of everything

I may come to see you any time I've even told a friend in West Lake...

West Lake.

West Lake is love Lake

I plan to buy a small house there We'll live there forever.

We boat in the day and count stars at night.

That advertisement is bad in concept

I value everlasting love over temporary possession.

Everlasting love.

What's wrong?

A temporary departure is not an everlasting one.

Don't cry.

Why has Paul never done the same to me?

Paul, how's everything? Can we go up now?

A little later. We'll fix her when they sleep.

And rape her sister too.

Sister, are you ready?

It's time.

Daddy, we can die now.

Let's preserve our bodies, time to return to Hell.

Call Ma Fai to watch Pao now.

What a pity if he should fail to wake up and die.

Hurry up.

Concentrate. Strength alone won't work.

It's for you, Taoist Priest Ma.

Tell him to call again later.

Put yourself fully into it as if it tasted good.

Hold out your tongue and blow against the hole.

Show me your tongue, hold it out.

Don't be shy.

- Why is it so slippery? - Have you washed your hand?

The right hand. The left hand is for the toilet only.

You don't play the flute with a slippery tongue.

Take more chilli and curry Make it hot.

Taoist Priest Ma. It's for you again.

Mr Ling.

You've decided to die, all your family? Congratulations

I'll take care of him. Don't worry.

Bon voyage. Don't ever come back to see me. Bye-bye.

Pao, we'll meet again in a next life if fate wills it.

Sister, let's go. Time's up Time's up. Let's go.

Why so noisy? What are you up to? Ling-ling.

What are you doing, Ling-ling?

Ling-ling.

Ling-ling.

Uncle,

auntie, what's the matter with you?

Corpses -All lie down.

Don't go.

- What are you doing? - Who are you?

Wear gas masks. Turning on the gas to kill?

You're trying to kill.

Ling-ling.

Call the police!

Boss, he may kill your girlfriend by accident.

Let's go. It's gangerous here.

Don't run!

Get hold of him!

Call David Chen, Li, Chang, Huang, Ho Shih, Liu, Lam, Pai, Tsai to line up.

Call Peter Chen, Li, Chang, Huang, Ho Ou, Chou, Hu, Ma, Mai to line up.

Ling Ling-ling.

- Over here. - He's calling you, Ling-ling.

Go to the queue.

Don't run!

Paul, the ambulance is here.

Logically, they should all be dead now.

Not necessarily. No traffic jams, slight chances can be saved.

- What if there's a flat tire? - Go out and puncture that ambulance's tire.

That's too cruel!

That's why I've told you to do it.

Hurry up.

Ling-ling.

Ling-ling.

Mr Ho -Sir.

Ling-ling.

Sir, I'll leave it to you -Good.

I know you're still alive, Ling-ling Get up at once.

Have one more photo.

Don't!

Ling-ling.

- Don't! - Don't be sad.

Get up, Ling-ling -Sit down.

Let me go.

Sorry, no smoking here.

Pao Yu-lu.

Inspector Ho, we got gas poisoning. Help them.

Let me go.

Call an ambulance at once

- I've already done it. - Here already, but the tires are punctured.

No need to call the ambulance Call the hearse.

Lock him up -Yes, Sir.

What are you doing? Let me go.

Let me go.

Let me go.

Sir, when I came in, I saw him wearing a gas mask.

The house was filled with gas and the whole family was lying on the ground.

Only he was pacing up and down Isn't he most suspicious?

I myself don't know why I was wearing a gas mask

why there was a gas leak and why they died.

Why am I the only man who survived?

Don't you know I can sue you for murder?

- Murder? - Murder?

Know, I know -No entry

I know everything.

- What are you doing? - Ma Fai, you've come at the right time.

Help me -Do you know him?

- An accomplice, sir. Arrest him too. - Quiet, quiet!

Who are you?

I know everything.

In fact, it's a touching love story.

Those who died have died.

- Those alive may die any moment. - Right.

Call the asylum to send an ambulance for a patient.

- Sir, I've spoken nothing but the truth. - Let's go.

Sir, I need it.

Don't go.

What if I should piss?

Go then.

Finished? Have you finished?

Sir, I can't do it now.

Whistle and you'll make it.

- Whistle it for me. - I whistle for you.

No, you whistle for me -What?

I'll only make it if you blow the horn.

- What a nuisance. Blow now. - Come on.

You're cranky, no wonder you're crazy.

Phantom Paper Flight1, spirits for Vancouver, please board.

Ling Hao-his.

- Here. Someone's looking for you. - Me?

It say's from DHL to you -DHL?

Pao was framed and ruined our whole family.

Taoist Priest Ma told us to go back to help him.

Nonsense, seats are difficult to get. Go on board.

Mammy, don't -What then?

Last call, board immediately.

Pao's in trouble, we must help him.

We can never go away if we don't do it now

I'll go with you -Come back.

Me, too.

Ka-ka. Don't go.

Mammy, don't be so selfish.

Come back.

Darling, get married.

Wait for me.

Have you finished pissing? Come out.

Crazy, not yet finished? Go out.

Go now.

What are you doing? Again?

- Don't move them out. - Bring him to book.

They're still alive.

Let me go.

They're still alive.

They can still stand.

Liing-ling.

Yes?

Why are there so many men here?

The Coroner.

Don't ask me, I'm confused.

Why are they still alive?

It's all right. Pack up.

Are you so anxious for me to die?

Yes, and to die unburied too.

Are you disappointed now?

Paul, feel bad?

Police are here. Don't flare up.

Bitch, don't vex me.

- So what? Slap me! - What?

You're sued for hitting and I arrest you The Court will make the final decision.

Do I have to die?

Never heard of it.

Hit me, idiot!

Don't think I dare not.

Not so hard, you may Kill her.

Why hit my daughter? I'll hit you, creep

I'll kill you if you say it.

What a creep!

Sir, I'll give up

I hit on impulse only. I won't get killed.

You didn't hit, you killed.

Quiet. Let the expert have a look.

Coroner, is really dead?

Nonsense.

No heartbeat, no breath.

You're in trouble. Get hold of him.

Let go.

Arrest him, don't go.

It's eerie here. Get the other team do it.

Ka-ka -Sister.

Is your sister all right? That was some dying!

She's all right

I fooled him.

What are you up to?

Not much time left. Let's tell him everything.

Pao, let me tell you something. Don't be afraid

I'm not, I'm used to it.

- We're already dead; We're all ghosts. - Right, ghosts

I don't believe it. Don't fool me.

"Already dead, of tragic causes Sorry to have made a fool of you."

"A ghost story tonight, don't be scared Piug a bedpan and paste a talisman on it."

"Yin and Yang differ and separate Forgive my bloody ghostly voice"

"I'm tender and considerate I do admire you, think hard of you."

"My knees, legs and arms can turn an elf upside down"

"I can give you any ugly looks"

"I can swallow a whole string If I get diarrhea, I'll pierce my guts"

"I run wild like an Earth Dragon I won't get hurt by bumping my ass".

Are they really dead?

Yes.

- "Who'll dance with me?" - "Turn around and walk".

-"Darling, don't be afraid of me" -"I'm scared".

-"The soulss are like snowflakes" -"Like ones falling from horses".

-"She's like a honey doll" -"She has an hourglass figure".

-"Her tender love entangles you" -"She's fond of you".

-"Tender love is all yours" -"You have a strange odor".

"Come what may, we're turned on."

"Mock at what fate has in store for us."

Bad.

My goodnessXYZ...

-"A boundary line in between" -"A demarcation between good and bad".

-"A Sino-British boundary" -"Give me one more bowl of noodles"

- "A boundary between Hell and Mankind" -Pao.

"A Boundary in between, a boundary between Hell and Mankind."

- Let Ling-ling go at once. - Amida Buddha!

Pao -Ling-ling.

Lng-ling.

Pao.

Ling-ling.

Pao, goodbye.

Ling-ling -See you next life.

Goodbye, Pao -Take care, Pao.

Ling-ling.

- Are they really gone? - Yes