Original subtitles

[wild‐western music]

[music continues]

You gonna raise me with the hand I got?

You're bluffing.

I can tell by the stupid look on your face.

What look?

Damn!

Remind me again, is the, uh, the Jack of Hearts

the son of the Queen of Hearts?

Turtle, my friend, never try to hustle a hustler, okay?

You don't have the Jack of Hearts, I do.

And two of his brothers.

Whoo!

Yeah. Yeah.

Well, then it must be a family reunion

because I have his parents

his aunt and two of his uncles.

Boo‐yah!

Even better hand.

[Robert laughing]

You know what, guys, man, I really, really miss you guys.

Ever since I left "Mr. L. A.," you know

we don't really get a chance to hang out like this.

Actually, boss, we never really hung out before.

Of course, we did, Turtle.

You remember that time we, we did that

that thing with, um, the people?

No.

Maybe we did.

I have invited you out several times

but you were always too cool for laser tag.

Yeah, well, maybe we'd think about it if you didn't

want us to dress up like "Star Wars" characters.

Right.

What's the point?

The point is, you got issues, man.

Okay, guys, we had a deal.

It's 7 o'clock.

Me and Bobby gotta get the food ready

for Neesee's birthday tomorrow.

Let us play this last hand.

Let's go all in, fellas.

‐ Alright. ‐ Alright.

I'm about to clean up, baby.

You sure are with those three aces.

‐ 'Shh!' ‐ Damn.

‐ Fold. ‐ Fold.

‐ Suckers! Ah! ‐ Ah!

Teamwork!

Cook yourself something nice.

I'mma go get myself something nice too.

♪ Often I wish that we ♪

♪ Could take the time to see ♪

♪ The need there is to be ♪

♪ A family yeah ♪

♪ 'Cause it's All Of Us ♪

♪ Sometimes it can be rough ♪

♪ Time and seasons change ♪

♪ But we will still remain ♪

♪ It's just All Of Us ♪

♪ It's just All Of Us ♪

♪ It's just All Of Us ♪

♪ It's just All Of Us ♪♪♪

[instrumental music]

Another frosted fudge tart, mommy?

Mm, no, thank you, pudding.

I don't wanna fill up on dessert before the appetizers.

This is the appetizer.

Mm. Mm.

Mm.

Mm, this is delicious, baby.

Did you make these all by yourself?

No, Tia helped me.

Mm‐hm. Thank you, girl.

Bobby just loves working with chocolate.

Speaking of chocolate, I need to go get the salad dressing.

Hey, Neesee, I like these cabinets.

Where'd you get 'em?

Oh, those?

My new friend built them for me.

Oh? Friend, as in ha‐hm?

Or friend, as in

ha‐ha‐heh‐heh‐ha‐ha?

Robert, you really need to stay out of my business

and gargle.

Oh, Neesee, he, he's just being so nosey.

So, has Bobby met him yet?

Not yet. I'm waiting until the time is right.

Till I can see where this is going.

So, who is he?

What does he do?

[laughing]

‐ He's a great guy. ‐ Mm.

‐ He's a musician. ‐ Mm‐hmm.

[blabbering]

Oh, a doctor?

No.

A, um..

A‐a, a‐a, a, um..

A car‐pen, hm, hm..

A car dealer?

No.

‐ He's a‐‐ ‐ What? Huh?

Why you trippin', Neesee? What does the brother do?

He's a carpenter. Like Jesus.

Now, go ahead. Make fun of him, I dare you.

Who wants kebabs?

Instead of meat, I used marshmallows.

Instead of vegetables, I used Gummy bears.

Instead of steaks, I used Twizzlers.

And it's all dipped in..

(all) Chocolate syrup.

Bon appetite!

[instrumental music]

Connect Four. Face it.

Dirk, you can't beat me at anything.

You can't even comb your hair.

How do you keep winnin'?

Well, while other boys are out

playing sports and, uh, chasing girls

I was home honing my skills.

Well, I guess you really showed them.

‐ Okay, new game. ‐ Alright, bring it on.

Yahtzee. Monopoly. Battleship. You can even make up a game.

I'll still beat you at it.

You talk a lot of trash, Turtle.

You too can talk trash when you win.

Oh, that's right.

You wouldn't know anything about that.

Let's make this quick. I have to leave for my beekeeping class.

What? What the hell you wanna keep bees for?

Honey..

...and friendship.

[instrumental music]

Ninety‐eight, ninety‐nine, two hundred.

What you waitin' for, Neesee? Open the gifts. Open the gifts.

Why don't you close your mouth. Your mouth?

Baby, you really shouldn't be eating all this sugar.

Baby, what you talkin' 'bout? I ain't chippin' up no sugar.

Chippin' up no sugar. Chippin' up no sugar.

Chippin' up no sugar. Alright?

Look, I'm gonna prove it to you right now, alright?

I'm gonna sit right here, real still.

Watch me. Watch me.

[laughing]

Hey, mommy. Let's open the presents.

Mm.

‐ I'm first. ‐ Okay.

Mm.

Happy birthday. I picked it up myself.

Ah!

[laughing]

It's beautiful.

Thank you, puddin'.

Is it time for cake yet?

Let's have some cake. Bobby, guess what?

It's time for cake. Get the cake.

[knocking on door]

‐ I'll go get the door first. ‐ No, no.

I'll get it.

‐ Hey. ‐ Rusty?

What are you doing here?

Uh, well, I was in the neighborhood

and I wanted to stop by and say happy birthday

but I didn't realize you had company.

So, maybe I should leave.

Oh, no, no, it's okay.

Um, you might as well join the party.

‐ Rusty, this is Bobby. ‐ Hi.

‐ Mm‐hm. ‐ Hi.

And, uh, that's Robert.

[snoring]

And his fiancee, Tia.

Hey, well, nice to meet you. I'm Rusty, I'm Neesee's, uh..

Friend. He's my friend.

Oh, you're the friend that made the shelves.

Hey, you know what else is on the shelf? Cake.

I'll go get the cake.

Oh, if we're gonna have cake, I‐I need some Tums.

They're in the bathroom, girl, help yourself.

And I'm gonna help Bobby with the cake.

Hey, baby, I'll be right back.

Cake!

[sniffing]

‐ What's up? ‐ Hey, what's up?

[indistinct mumbling] Tums.

Tums.

♪ Tum‐mm‐mm ♪♪♪

[gasps] Tums.

Oh‐hh‐hh!

Neesee's pregnant?

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]

(Robert) Baby, what's taking you so long?

Shh, baby, come here.

You've got to see this.

Alright, baby

whatever you did in there

I believe you.

Look, I'm talking about this. Come here.

Look, this is a pregnancy test.

And it's positive.

‐ That's great! ‐ Oh, no. Put me down.

Oh, you're right, you're right, I‐I shouldn't be doing that.

‐ Get off your feet. ‐ Robert, it's not your baby.

‐ What? ‐ Okay.

‐ Well, it's not mine! ‐ What?

This is Neesee's.

What?

And why would I be takin' a pregnancy test at her house?

That's what I was gonna ask you.

Yo, this is deep!

So, yo, like, uh

like Bobby's about to have a little brother or sister?

Mm‐hm. And may be a new man in the house too.

[gasping] I wonder if Rusty knows yet.

[exhales] Trust me.

If Rusty got Neesee pregnant

he'd know about it.

[instrumental music]

Okay, there's no way

you're gonna beat me 12 times in a row.

G‐5.

Oh, no. You sunk my battleship.

Yes, baby! Dirk's back.

How you like me now?

Oh, I don't like you at all right now

with that victorious attitude.

Yeah, now I get to talk trash, huh.

That's right, boy.

‐ Wait, what the hell is that? ‐ Nothing.

‐ You won, I'm leaving. ‐ No, no, no.

No. You threw the game, Turtle.

I don't need your hand outs. We playin' again.

Why do you refuse to accept the fact

that you just can't beat me?

'Cause I'm the big dog in this situation.

You're the Turtle.

I'm the one that beats people at games, alright.

Look, I'm gonna show you something.

‐ Heads or tails? ‐ Tails never fails.

Damn!

Alright, rock, paper, scissors.

Paper covers rock all day every day.

I own you, Mr. Black.

Alright, um..

...I'm thinking of a number between one and one hundred.

One hundred thirty‐seven.

Stop cheating.

If it's that important that you beat me at something

all we have to do is compare salaries.

Pull out your pay stub right now.

[laughing]

You suck at this game.

Damn, is this weekly?

Monthly.

Damn, I'm sorry, man, here's the five dollars I owe you.

Hey, just, just, just.. Just take it.

[instrumental music]

Hey, Rusty, do you like chocolate?

‐ Yeah. ‐ Great.

I'll get you some pizza.

What does one thing have to do with another?

[chuckles]

You'll find out.

Oh, by the way, I read

in the newspaper that your favorite team

traded their draft pick

for some guy named Merv Hawkins?

‐ Merv Hawkins? ‐ Mm.

Man, Hawkins sucks.

Man, that dude's career high

is that he'd been hired his whole career.

Oh, okay.

Hey, guys.

What's goin' on?

Yeah, what's poppin', mama?

Well, Bobby is just going to, uh

get Rusty some of his chocolate pizza with pickles.

And I don't know, call me crazy but that sounds good to me.

‐ Mm‐hm. ‐ Mm‐hm.

[instrumental music]

Look at him.

He is just sitting down

while his pregnant girlfriend is over there cleaning up.

Hey, hey, girl, you know what

I'm gonna help you with those.

Hey, Rusty, do you wanna play a video game?

Yeah, sure.

Hey, hey, hey..

Hey, son, Rusty looks tired

why don't you go ahead and play in your room?

No, Robby, no, it's no big deal, it's cool.

Listen to all that tired talk.

‐ Bobby, go to your room. ‐ Okay.

‐ How you doin', man? ‐ Man, I'm cool.

It's just Neesee told me

that I'm gonna get another player on my team.

Yeah, we heard.

Oh, really? Well, apparently I'm the last one to find out.

You know what, man? It be's like that sometimes.

But you don't look too excited about it.

Are you kidding me?

It's gonna ruin my whole year, man.

That's a pretty selfish way to look at it.

You know how much this gonna cost us?

Us?

Oh, oh, oh, man.

I got my own team, alright?

But if it makes you feel any better

once you look at him, you'll know it's worth it.

Man, how?

I'm gonna have to be drunk on this couch

every time I'm watching that dude.

Okay, look, here. Look, look, look, look, look, look.

Rusty, you can't check out on this, man.

You gotta be there for him.

I figure, man, but to me it's just a game.

Just a game? What about Neesee?

Man, Neesee cares less about this than I do.

Hey, Neesee, did I ever tell you about my yoga instructor

that knows all about natural childbirth?

‐ Actually, no. ‐ Well, she is fantastic.

And, um, she teaches Lamaze too.

Tia, you really reaching for small talk today.

How can you say all those things?

Don't you care about him at all?

Well, he used to have a nice jump shot

but now he's just a liability.

Who are you talking about?

Merv Hawkins, man, who are you talking about?

Merv Hawkins.

Tia, you think I'm pregnant?

‐ Yes. ‐ Pregnant? What?

Neesee didn't tell you yet?

‐ About what? ‐ About the stick.

Whoa, what stick?

The stick stick.

The stick with the blue line on it.

The stick with the pee on it. The stick with‐‐

Oh, like the one I had when I found out

I was pregnant with Bobby.

Exactly.

Because that stick is from Bobby.

Oh, girl, you know you can't use the same stick twice.

I kept it to remember the happiest moment of my life.

Oh!

Oh, that's sweet.

That's nice.

I remember it like it was yesterday.

The thought of a child growing inside of me.

It changed me forever, it opened my heart.

What the hell are you doin' goin' in my drawers anyway?

Well, I was gonna ask Rusty that.

I was looking for the Tums.

They weren't in the medicine cabinet.

You know you really need to keep 'em

in a more obvious place.

You know, you really should just stay out of this‐‐

You know what? This is gonna be one of those things.

I can feel it, you know we look back on it

and we're gonna laugh.

[laughing]

You know, in the, in the future?

Way, way in the future.

We're gonna let ourselves out.

Oh, what the hell just happened?

Just another birthday

with my blended family.

Mm.

And all though it was sweet

you can't be dropping by my house like that.

Yes, this will not happen again.

Mm‐hm. But at least you got a chance to meet Bobby.

And I think you guys hit it off.

Yeah, yeah, you know, me and Bobby

have a lot in common.

I made my mother a Butterfinger casserole

one time for her birthday.

That's how we found out she was diabetic.

Oh.

You know what? I almost forgot to open up your present.

Oh, yeah, well, um, see this

may not be your size.

Oh, well, you know at least let me see the color

you may have to change that too.

‐ No, no, no. ‐ Come on, come on.

Let me open up. It's my birthday.

Yeah.

Yeah.

See, I, I heard

that you like chocolate.

I used to.

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]

[laughing]

[instrumental music]

[theme music]