Original subtitles

[instrumental music]

‐ Oh, hey. ‐ What's up, thickums?

‐ You want some cereal? ‐ Uh‐uh, no time.

I gotta run to Chinatown to pick up some food

for Dirk and Jonelle's one‐month anniversary dinner.

Oh, don't tell me you're going to that place

that mixes Chinese food with soul food?

You know they love Mama Chang's Soul Palace.

[chuckles]

I don't even know why you're stressing yourself out.

Dirk was so drunk at his wedding..

...that this anniversary party is gonna be like

a surprise party.

You know they gotta celebrate every milestone they hit

'cause Dirk has had some burps that's gonna last longer

than this marriage.

[both laughing]

‐ See you later. ‐ Alright.

‐ Alright. ‐ Alright.

‐ Gotta go. ‐ Okay.

Okay, she's gone!

It's time for the breakfast of champions.

Jelly donuts.

♪ Jelly donuts in my mouth what ♪

♪ In my mouth what ♪

♪ In my mouth ah ♪

♪ Jelly donuts in my mouth ♪

♪ And you can't haves none ♪

Remix!

♪ If you want some jelly d get your own jelly ♪

♪ Get your own jelly jelly get your own jelly ♪

♪ What ♪♪♪

Okay!

Hey, Bobby, where's my donut?

I don't know.

I think a..

I think a squirrel took it.

A squirrel?

Hey, y'all.

Mommy!

You just gonna walk in, just like that?

It's my job to knock. It's your job to hear.

What's up?

What's up?

Bobby said a gangster squirrel came and jacked my donut.

A squirrel?

One of 'em had a crazy look in his eye.

And his tail swishing real fast like a hairy windshield wiper.

What's with all the lying, Bobby, huh?

The other day, you said you combed your hair

when you came down the stairs

your head looked like a broccoli tip.

Don't let me catch you lyin' again.

You know lyin' is wrong.

I'm very disappointed in you.

And you know my baby got good hair.

♪ Often I wish that we ♪

♪ Could take the time to see ♪

♪ The need there is to be ♪

♪ A family yeah ♪

♪ 'Cause it's All Of Us ♪

♪ Sometimes it can be rough ♪

♪ Time and seasons change ♪

♪ But we will still remain ♪

♪ It's just All Of Us ♪

♪ It's just All Of Us ♪

♪ It's just All Of Us ♪

♪ It's just All Of Us ♪♪♪

[instrumental music]

Okay, this one's called "The ring of fire."

[glass cracks]

‐ What was that? ‐ Squirrel.

Hey! What's up, Jonelle?

‐ Hey, Robert. ‐ Hey, dad!

School was great.

I'll tell you all about it in the car.

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Pump your brakes, big fella.

You forgot your bag.

Oh!

Hey, hey, O‐Owen?

Get me some tape.

Robert!

‐ What did you do? ‐ Nothing.

Did you break my tank?

No, I didn't.. I didn't do nothing.

All I did was..

[glass shatters]

[screams]

Robert!

This.

Oh.

[children laughing]

[instrumental music]

Babe, you don't just touch a fish tank and it explodes.

This is a grade‐school shakedown.

Tryin' to hustle up see‐saw money.

Well, you always see those signs at the aquarium

"Don't tap the glass," maybe that's why.

Bobby, you were there. You didn't see anything?

Nope.

‐ Watch his neck. ‐ What?

Watch his neck.

I said, "Watch his neck."

So, you don't know what happened?

Nope.

‐ Is your name Bobby? ‐ Yup.

‐ Do you like Skittles? ‐ Yup.

‐ Did you crack the tank? ‐ Nope.

Okay, we're gonna have to break him.

So it's time to play good cop, bad cop.

You be Pam Grier, I'll be Shaft, 'cause he's a bad mother‐‐

Shut your mouth.

Apparently, several students

placed you by the tank

two minutes before I came into the room.

How'd you do it?

Do what?

[chuckles] Oh, ho!

Oh, you wanna play games, huh?

A‐ha!

What's this? Hmm?

‐ What is this? ‐ A yo‐yo.

So this is how you cracked it, huh?

‐ Cracked what? ‐ The tank, kid! The tank!

‐ Okay, alright. ‐ T‐A‐N..

‐ Tank! ‐ Robert, stop it! Take a break.

‐ Get off him! ‐ Alright, alright, alright.

‐ Calm down. Calm down. ‐ Alright.

‐ Alright, partner. ‐ Alright.

Okay.

It didn't have to come to this.

Okay?

Now, we gotta get the government involved.

You know, I'm sorry about that.

My partner can get pretty worked up.

You look a little hungry.

Cookie?

Yeah, I know first grade is tough.

Under a lot of pressure.

Got your reading, your writing, your coloring

and then somebody throws tropical fish in the mix

and you get a little confused, right?

I don't know.

Well, maybe, uh

this will jog your memory.

Mm.. Nope.

[clock ticks]

Okay, how about this?

Mm.. Nope.

Still hazy.

The forensics came back inconclusive.

I didn't wanna do this

but you brought this on yourself.

Bobby.

Not the eyes!

(Neesee) 'Bobby.'

Okay, I did it!

'I was playing with the yo‐yo'

and it hit the tank

and it was an accident.

I was all sugared up!

I'm sorry!

Bobby, in this family, we always tell the truth.

And sweetie, if you just broke the tank by accident

you should have just said something.

But since you lied..

...you need to go lie your butt in your bed

and count your heartbeats.

And don't be skipping none.

I should be going too.

My father's comin' over.

Damn, I haven't seen your pop

since you kicked him out of the wedding.

He was the only guest that came with no gifts

and left with two.

Thanks for helping out, Neesee. I hope everything works out.

[instrumental music]

Hi.

Hey, sugar.

Brought you a little something.

Mm‐hm.

‐ A frisbee. ‐ I won that.

It's good to see you.

It's been a minute, huh?

Seven years of minutes.

Last time I saw you, you were eating the candy groom

off my wedding cake.

Yeah. Well, you know, I love chocolate.

Now if you had married a white dude

I probably wouldn't have done that.

Yvonne had told me about your divorce, baby.

‐ I'm sorry. ‐ Oh, yeah, yeah.

You know, Robert and I are still friends.

He's getting remarried, you know.

We're trying to do the blended family thing.

Blended?

What, is the new girl white?

No, blended means me and my ex is trying to keep things civil.

It's a new concept.

You know, blended is better than broken.

Oh, yeah.

Blended. Hm.

I wish they'd have had that back in the day.

I'm really glad you called me, baby.

Well, don't get too excited. It was my therapist's idea.

Therapy?

[scoffs] What you need that for?

Okay.

My therapist thinks that I have issues with men

because you weren't around.

Well.. I wanted to see you, but your mamma wouldn't let me.

You know, because of my drinking.

That ain't no excuse.

I have a child of my own now, and there's no way

that I'd let anything keep me from him.

[sighs]

Look, what you want me to do, baby?

I don't have a time machine.

Then how do you explain that shirt?

I mean, you know, this, this is a bad idea, yeah.

Well, wait a minute. Now what you doin'?

Helping you do what you do best.

Leave.

[instrumental music]

Before we get started

Bobby has an announcement to make.

I lied today about the fish tank.

From now on, I will always tell the truth

no matter what. I'm sorry.

Mm, it's okay, Bobby, I forgive you.

Time for a toast.

Just a taste. I shouldn't be drinking.

You're not pregnant, are you?

No. I'm driving.

Excellent. Then I'm gonna get faded.

Wait a second.

To our best friends.

'Congratulations on your one‐month anniversary.'

'You two will be together, forever.'

‐ Cheers. ‐ Cheers.

Hey, baby, come on. Help me with the egg foo yams.

Mm.

Why does Tia get to lie, but I don't?

What'd she lie about?

She just said that you're

gonna be together forever.

But this morning..

...she said you wouldn't last.

She said what?

[instrumental music]

Mm. You know what, Dirky?

This is really good.

I wonder how long all this flavor will..

...last.

What do you think, Tia?

How long you think the flavor will..

...last?

Well..

...with the abundant herbs and spices I've added

I'm sure the flavor will last.

Hm.

Baby, pass the dumplings.

Hmm, well, aren't you lucky, Dirky?

It's the last one.

Is there something wrong, Jonelle?

‐ Why you say that, Tia? ‐ Well, I don't know.

Because you keep saying "Last"

after every sentence, and you keep saying it really loud.

Why?

Oh, I don't know.

Oh!

Maybe because Bobby told us

that you said that you didn't think

me and my Dirky would last.

Tia said that Uncle Dirk has burps

that last longer than his marriages.

[laughing]

That's funny. That's funny.

Tia, you said that?

Bobby, why don't you go upstairs and play?

But there's still food on my plate.

Now it's not.

Come on.

Okay, Jonelle, it was a joke.

Oh, a joke. Okay.

So you think me and Dirky are a joke.

Girl, this love is real.

Didn't nobody say nothing when you needed your space

and the two of you were playing your little ghetto version

of "ElimiDate."

‐ Oh, you did not go there. ‐ Went there, parked my car.

Why is Jonelle trippin', man?

Jonelle?

Your girl's the one trippin'.

Talkin' about we won't last.

Dirk, you asked her to marry you in a club.

With my ring.

To the song, "Move Bitch, Get Out The Way."

It doesn't matter.

What matters is, I'm trying to make love work.

You of all people should know that.

My best friend.

Come on, baby. Let's leave these haters to themselves.

Yeah, hatin' on our love.

‐ Get your own. ‐ Get your own.

[instrumental music]

[knocking on door]

What you said to me the other day

stuck to me like ham hocks on a fat lady.

You really got me to thinking, Neesee.

I wanna talk about this.

Look, I'm not interested in reconnecting with you.

I'm mad.

I'm mad at you for not showing up

at any of those dumb dance recitals

that mom made me be in.

I'm mad at you for being late at my wedding

and not walking me down the aisle.

I'm mad at you because I had a baby

and you never showed up.

I know.

That's why I came back.

To take responsibility for all those things

that I haven't done.

I know that I'm a bad father.

No, you left before you got a chance to be a bad father.

I'm sorry.

I just wanna be a part of your life now.

Well, my son is a part of my life now.

I mean, how do I know that you're not gonna

disappoint him the way you disappointed me?

I won't. I promise.

I‐I‐I cleaned my act up.

I‐I got a good job, I don't drink no more.

I learned from my mistakes.

Then I ask you once again..

...how do you explain that shirt?

Mommy.

Oh, my God, Neesee, is this your boy?

‐ Hmm. ‐ Who is he, mom?

This is..

If you mess this up..

...you're the one that's gonna need therapy.

‐ Physical therapy. ‐ Alright.

Go ahead.

Introduce yourself.

I'm Roger.

Grandpa.

Grandpa Roger.

That's all I got.

Then that's the one.

Grandpa Roger.

Pleased to meet you, little man.

Ooh, hey, you crushing my hand.

You got quite a grip there.

It's from drummin'.

‐ Do you like Outkast? ‐ I sure do.

Cool! Let me go get my drumsticks.

What's Outkast?

Thank you, Neesee.

You're welcome...Roger.

Grandpa Roger.

That's all I got..

...dad.

[instrumental music]

[bell ringing]

Look, I‐I just wanted to apologize about last night.

Robert and I were only jokin' around.

Well, you still hurt my feelings.

I know.

And I'm sorry.

You should be sorry.

Look, Dirk, it was a joke, man.

We didn't mean it the way it sounded.

‐ How'd you mean it? ‐ Like..

Well, the point is, I said I'm sorry, man.

No, the point is, I love my girl.

It's different this time. I'm happy.

I'm happy, Tia.

I'm happy.

I mean, look at my face.

[chuckles] See?

I'm happy.

Are you happy, Tia?

Are you? You happy?

[sobs] 'Cause I'm not. I'm not.

Okay. Alright. Easy, easy.

Just put..

...down the gum, okay.

Wha.. What's wrong?

I was thinking, what if everything you say

about me and Dirk's relationship is true?

It's true.

On paper, it doesn't look like

I'm that great of a husband.

But I am, damn it.

And I'd like for you

to acknowledge that.

Okay, I'll acknowledge that

you're acting like a woman right now.

A woman in love.

I'm not that in love.

I mean, I rushed into this marriage thinking

that my clock was tickin'

and my ovaries were gonna dry up

like little raisins.

Maybe my mother was right.

When she said to forget about men and try women.

Your mama wants you to be a lesbian?

No, she just really doesn't like Dirk.

Everybody likes Dirk.

But Jonelle..

...loves Dirk.

Are you still talking?

Yeah, and I'm gonna keep talking, until I convince you

that we're gonna be together forever.

‐ I'm convinced. ‐ Good.

'Cause I'm not.

What?

Are we gonna be honest?

Marrying Jonelle was the dumbest thing I did

since I bought meat out of a guy's trunk.

How can I be married to a man

who buys meat out of a guy's trunk?

[sighs] We're not right for each other.

We're not right for each other.

Dirk, you can't keep marrying people and divorcing them

like a flat‐ass JLo.

True.

But I'm a gambling man.

Listen, before I do anything

do me a favor.

Don't tell Tia.

Don't tell Robert?

But we have this honesty thing.

And I have this chisel thing.

But let's not use what we have to hurt each other, okay?

[instrumental music]

Now, Bobby, by you telling the truth to Dirk and Jonelle

you made us realize that even adults

can sometimes tell lies without meaning to.

And we're very proud of you for being honest.

Even though we got in trouble.

So, Uncle Dirk and Aunt Jonelle are happy again?

‐ Why wouldn't they be? ‐ I think so.

[instrumental music]

Yeah.

Bobby!

‐ Yeah? ‐ Where's my donut?

A squirrel ate it.

Boy, I thought you were done lying.

‐ Go back up to your room, man. ‐ But‐‐

Go back up to your room.

(Robert) A squirrel ate it.

[squirrel squeaks]

[whispers] Bobby!

I believe you, son.

[theme music]