Original subtitles

[instrumental music]

[sneezes]

Alright, big fella.

No cold is gonna keep the James' men down.

What we have here is Grandma Edna's

Secret Cold Elixir.

Still illegal in 48 states.

This ought to clear right on up.

‐ This smells funny. ‐ Oh.

That's because it's the lemon juice

act in a concert with the tabasco

and the pork rice.

Give it a minute. It'll start to sizzle.

There, drink it! Now, now, now, now!

‐ See? ‐ Ew!

I told you daddy could take care of you.

‐ I'm too hot. ‐ Okay.

Let's let that little bird chest breathe there.

‐ Now I'm cold. ‐ Okay.

Now I'm hot.

(Bobby) Now I'm blind.

Where's my sick baby?

Mommy!

Hey, look, Neesee, I appreciate the thought

but I got things covered around here, alright?

Well, is that why you're takin' his temperature

with a turkey thermometer?

I knew that.

Ah...20 more minutes, son.

That could boy base, Neesee.

♪ Often I wish that we ♪

♪ Could take the time to see ♪

♪ The need there is to be a family yeah ♪

♪ 'Cause it's All Of Us ♪

♪ Sometimes it can be rough ♪

♪ Time and seasons change ♪

♪ But we will still remain ♪

♪ It's just All Of Us ♪

♪ It's just All Of Us ♪

♪ It's just All Of Us ♪

♪ It's just All Of Us ♪♪♪

[instrumental music]

Rick, I cannot remember the last time

somebody cooked me dinner and vegetarian on top of that.

‐ Mm‐hmm. ‐ What could be better?

Meat.

Looks like, Zoe has her daddy's sense of humor, huh?

You keep talkin' like that you won't get

any chocolate souffle.

Yeah!

[laughs]

Oh, let me help you with that.

Uh, Tia, you work so hard at school

taking care of all those kids

you deserve to be taken care of.

Oh, wow! You guys are tryin' to spoil me.

That's because daddy says you're pretty.

From the mouths of babes.

So..

...what have you and your mommy have planned for tonight‐‐

Shh!

We're not supposed to talk about her here.

Ta‐da!

Heh, doesn't this look good?

‐ Alright, there you go. ‐ Yeah, that looks delicious.

Help yourself. Hope you enjoy it.

[Rick sighs]

You know, I found this recipe..

[car honking]

I found the recipe online.

You know, is‐is that..

You think that might be Zoe's mom?

Definitely.

Uh.. You know..

I was really surprised..

[car honking]

I'm sorry, what did you say?

[chuckles]

I said I was really surprised..

[car honking]

I was really surprised by how much the nutmeg

brings out the richness of the souffle.

Th‐the what? It's, it's kinda loud, but..

Th‐the richness of the..

[car honking]

Tee...can you hold on one sec?

Mm‐hmm.

[car honking]

Oh, princess, I keep my baby until six, woman.

Sorry about that.

So...more souffle?

[instrumental music]

[school bell rings]

So that's it? He just yelled?

Well, words can be very hurtful, Jonelle.

No, I'll tell you what's hurtful.

Hurtful is gettin' busted upside the hay

with a big old frozen turkey.

That's how my daddy used to get down.

You step out of line, wham!

And we'll be butter‐ballin' our little eyes out.

Oh, you know, it just made me uncomfortable.

I just don't think anybody should speak like that

to the mother of his child.

It's called divorce.

And speakin' nicely, that's so much work.

Yellin', on other hand, that's easy.

Stop that, Winnie!

See. So does Rick know how you feel?

No, girl, 'cause I was speechless.

Oh, oh, well.

Now that you've regained your speech, use it.

‐ Rick? ‐ Hey!

Wh‐what're you doin' here?

Well, actually, I was respondin' to a call in the neighborhood.

Thought I'd drop by and say hi.

You know, I, I had a great time last night.

Yeah, me too.

Ow.

(Jonelle) Oh, my bad.

Look, Rick. Okay, I don't mean to be judgmental.

But last night

the things you said to your ex‐wife

made me a little uncomfortable.

‐ It did? ‐ Mm‐hmm.

But I said so little.

Well, it was the way you said it.

Oh.

I'm so sorry, it's just that my ex..

you know, can sometimes be a, a button‐pusher.

You know, especially when the button she's pushin'

is that horn.

Yeah, I guess I understand, but‐‐

Listen, let me make it up to you.

Next Sunday, I'm havin' a cook‐out

with some friends and..

God, Almighty!

Oh, it's a church group, huh?

[chuckles] Kim. What are you doin' here?

I'm here for an officer‐friendly presentation.

You two know each other?

[scoffs]

She's my ex‐wife.

Tia, Kim.

Kim, Tia.

Well...I guess we're just a Indian short

of the Village People, huh?

I thought, uh, you and I

weren't going to overlap our safety presentations.

So why are you here?

I came to see my woman.

‐ Ooh! ‐ I'm‐I'm sorry. Your woman?

My woman!

Well, girl, congratulations on gettin' this loser.

Good luck with his tinies!

Of course, better than a fat ass.

Your cousin liked it.

Who?

‐ My cousin? ‐ That's right.

Kim, Rick

we need to use our kinder, indoor voices over here.

‐ Okay. ‐ Okay, gotcha.

See, girl? See. This is what I'm talkin' about. See.

Well, you know, not everybody can be mature

and friendly and blended

like some people we know, who will remain nameless

although their names are Robert and Neesee.

Okay.

I know, you're right.

I told you, I was gonna take the baby on a pony ride in the park.

Well, you need to ride that pony to the bank

and get me my money.

[chuckles]

Exes, what're you gonna do, huh?

‐ So, do you like ponies‐‐ ‐ You know, Rick..

‐ This isn't going to work out. ‐ What, 'cause of that?

Hey, at least we're talkin' again, you know.

It's not about you, alright?

Or officer friendly there.

It's about me.

See, I just realized I fooled myself into thinkin'

I wanted somethin' I didn't have.

Then I saw what I didn't have

and I definitely don't want that

which made me realize I have what I really wanted all along.

I just didn't realize it.

Do you understand?

Yeah. Yeah.

Uh, no.

Okay.

I'm in love with somebody else.

Still in the dark here.

I'm going back to my ex‐fiance.

Hm. By that, you mean..

Okay, you know what, Rick?

This whole denial angle you're playing

is not gonna work.

Damn.

[instrumental music]

(Neesee) Chugga chugga chugga chugga woo woo.

Bobby, you have to eat your soup.

It's gonna make you feel better.

But I don't want to.

It's really good.

See, daddy likes it.

What? I don't get a chicken choo‐choo?

‐ Come on. ‐ Chugga chugga woo woo.

All aboard!

Next stop! Tummy junction!

Neesee, I know I was fightin' it

but these last couple of days have been great.

I'm actually jealous.

When you and Johnny get married

he's gonna be gettin' sick on purpose.

[coughs]

Oh, sweetie.

You still don't sound so good.

Yeah, I guess that means you not gonna be able

to finish that soup.

Aah!

You need a little VapoRub.

But Reggie says that stuff burns.

Well, that's because Reggie eats it.

When you put it on, it tingles.

No, it's gonna tingle me to death.

Alright, son, now why don't daddy put some on

and let you know that it's okay, alright?

Daddy gonna put some on for you.

‐ See, daddy likes it. ‐ 'Mm.'

See, it's all good, son.

He likes it! He likes it!

Robert?

Does daddy want some more?

Ah, yes. Slap it on me.

'Slap it on me!'

(Neesee) 'You sure you can take it?'

(Robert) 'Give it to me, momma. Give it to me, momma!'

‐ Does that feel good, daddy? ‐ 'Oh, daddy loves it.'

(Neesee) Uh‐huh. I know you'll like it.

‐ 'I'm rubbin' it.' ‐ 'It's tinglin'.'

(Robert) 'Oh, I like that tinglin'.'

[instrumental music]

‐ So, Robert and Neesee? ‐ Mm‐hmm.

‐ Freaky‐momma sex? ‐ Mm‐hmm.

Girl, it was horrible.

Okay, he was all like.. "Gimme more, mommy. Gimme more."

And in the kitchen? Okay.

‐ Hey, y'all. ‐ Oh, hey, Neesee.

Hey, I came to pick up Bobby's school work

he's still a little under the weather.

Well, okay, I'll get it for you.

Okay.

‐ Ask her. ‐ No.

[indistinct whispering]

[clears throat] So, pickin' up Bobby's homework, huh?

I thought today was Robert's day.

Yeah, he's still a little sick.

Oh, so you decided you'll go over there

and stay on top of things, huh?

Yeah.

Bet daddy likes that.

Excuse me.

Never mind.

No, no, no, wait. I detect a lil' funk in your baseline.

If you wanna ask me somethin' I suggest you go ahead and ask.

Oh, it's nothing. No, I‐I wasn't..

I wasn't thinkin'.. It's, it's nothing. I..

Are you sleepin' with Robert?

‐ With Robert? Girl, please. ‐ Mm‐hmm.

If he was the last man on Earth, it'd be, "Bye‐bye, Earth."

Why would you even ask me that?

Well, you said, you'd been over at his house.

Yeah, to take care of my son.

What about his daddy?

Girl, I've been cookin' soup, wipin' noses

and rubbin' VapoRub on sick folks.

I'm over there bein' Mother Teresa

and I'm o'er here now bein' offended?

I see.

Look, girl, I've been takin' this actin' class at night

and that was just a part of this little scene

I've been workin' on, that's all.

Well, hello. Hello. Hello.

Smashing time. Spot of tea?

Eh! That's just..

...workin' on my accents.

Good day, Governor.

[instrumental music]

Man, I can't believe they cut the budget again.

A brother got to eat around here.

See, the thing that kills me..

I have a pot steamin' all day with nothin' in it.

I'll be fine, woman!

Turtle, that's no way to be talkin' to your shrink.

I'll have you know, my shrink is a man, okay.

That was my lady friend.

Feelin' a touch feverish, she wants to take care of me.

Yeah, what's her name, grandma?

No, Matilda. My ex.

Whenever I'm sick, she likes to come by

in her nurse's uniform and make me feel better.

I didn't know your ex was a nurse.

She's not. She's a.. She's a plumber.

A plumber who heals.

You know what?

Freak show might be on to somethin'.

If Nurse Neesee is feeling your pulse

chances are, she's feeling you.

Come on, you know how women like to use all illnesses

to try to coax us out of our little cocoons of safety.

And trap us in their webs of lust.

You've been watchin' too much Spice Channel

or too much Discovery Channel.

Spice channel.

And you could never watch too much.

No! My son was sick and his mom came by.

Now I don't care what you say

or what you've been watchin on TV.

A man could be friendly with his ex.

Okay.

But watch your back.

Neesee might inject you with a monkey pox

so she could be friendly all month.

[instrumental music]

[knocking on door]

‐ Hey, Neesee. ‐ Hey.

Robert, Bobby is in his room

tryin' to figure out what toy he's gonna bring over.

Right now, it's between Bob the builder and a rock.

[chuckles]

That's hilarious.

You know, who else is hilarious?

That Dirk. Dirk is a wow boy.

[laughs]

Dirk told me that..

Dirk told me you was feelin' me.

[both laughing]

You not feelin' me, are you, Neesee?

Hell, no.

Good.

I mean, you're not feelin' me, are you?

No, no. I'm‐I'm just bein' friendly.

Oh, me too.

After all, you know, we're divorced

and you're engaged to my best friend.

I mean, come on.

Dirk is crazy.

Robert..

...Johnny and I broke up.

Uh..

We were gonna tell you, but you were goin' through

your own thing and..

What happened?

Well..

He's in Atlanta and he doesn't wanna leave his daughter.

And I'm here in LA

and I'd never move Bobby to another city.

So...we kinda had to end it.

It was coming for a while.

Damn. I mean..

Look, Neesee, I don't really know

the best thing to say right now.

But I want you to know I'm here for you..

...even though I don't like you.

[laughs]

[sniffles]

I don't like you either.

So get your hand off me.

It's alright.

(Bobby) 'Almost ready!'

Hey, time to go. Uh, come on, Bobby.

‐ 'I can't find my‐‐'. ‐ I said, it's time to go.

‐ Well, I can't find my egg. ‐ Daddy'll buy you a new one.

‐ I don't want another one. ‐ Walk, boy. Walk!

[instrumental music]

[knocking on door]

Tia.

Hey, Robert.

Listen, Tia. This is not a good time for me‐‐

Okay. Can I just say somethin'?

See, I've been thinkin' a lot over the last few weeks and

you know I left, because I was havin' trouble with Neesee.

‐ Tia, this is not a good‐‐ ‐ And it's taken me a long time.

Maybe too long to see that a divorce family

is no different than any other family.

People try to make things work or they don't.

‐ Tia, it's not‐‐ ‐ Come on, come on.

Let me finish.

‐ Okay. ‐ Look, baby..

You are one of the people who try.

And that's why I fell in love with you in the first place

and why I still love you.

And just so you know, I didn't come over here

thinkin' you'll just say, "Cool" and things would

magically go back to normal

because I know it's not gonna be that easy

but...I'm ready to make the first step.

And..

...just kinda hopin' you might wanna take it with me.

[chuckles]

I can't.

‐ What? ‐ What do you mean, "What?"

You just finished sayin' that you don't expect

things to go back to bein' normal.

Oh, please.

That's just somethin' you're supposed to say.

Okay, Robert, talk to me.

Alright, Tia, listen.

The truth is..

...if you hadn't left and made me questioned things

I wouldn't be in the space that I'm in right now.

Now you said you needed time and..

...now I need time.

I'm sorry.

Oh, uh..

Okay.

I'm sorry I bothered you.

Goodnight.

Goodbye.

[crickets chirping]

Goodnight.

Goodnight.

[instrumental music]

[upbeat music]

[sneezes]

Hey, outbreak.

Why don't you go home before you plague us all up in here?

I took several strong medications that..

...they recommend that I don't operate any heavy machinery.

Pretty sure that includes my moped.

Alright, let me give you a ride home.

But keep your head out the window.

And your hands, and your feet..

Hell, no. I'll just call you a cab.

No. No, no, no. It‐it's quite alright. My..

My ex‐girlfriend, Matilda, she's comin' to pick me up.

Matilda, huh?

How old is she?

Last Matilda I heard of, sunk on the Titanic.

Oh, Turtle dove.

I'm so glad you finally called me.

'Okay, let's just get you home, then into bed.'

[grunts]

[chuckling]

[Dirk coughing]

[instrumental music]

[theme music]