Original subtitles

[instrumental music]

And, on a final note, the LA Zoo

is bidding a farewell to Ming‐Ming the Panda

who was donated by the Chinese government to mate

with LA's favorite panda, Shack‐Shack.

But unfortunately, Ming‐Ming never felt comfortable

in Shack‐Shack's habitat.

So she's moving back to China.

Keep your hairy head up, Shack‐Shack.

We feel your pain, brother.

This is Robert James, Mr. LA

sayin' peace to you.

[mouths] Keep your head up.

Cut. That was great.

We just have to redo everything after you started talking.

‐ You gotta focus, bruh. ‐ I know, Dirk.

But it's hard, man, and I know it's only been

a few weeks since Tia gave me my ring back

but...she gave it back to me in a club, bruh.

‐ In a club! ‐ Yeah.

I'm gonna give it back to you in a office, bruh.

In a office!

Come on, you gotta do a promo, man. You ready to do a promo?

It's promo time, baby. You ready to represent?

‐ Yeah. Y‐you know, I feel hurt. ‐ Come on, now. Give it to me.

‐ Alright. Ugh! Hmm! ‐ Promo, baby!

Get your hurt ass in that chair and do this promo.

Ready? Three, two..

Hey, this is Robert James, Mr. LA, and tune in tomorrow

when I'll be discussing celebrity relationships.

What makes them work?

And why..

...do some women stomp on your heart..

...and leave you blind when you given them

the best two years of your life

because they can't "handle your situation!"

♪ Often I wish that we ♪

♪ Could take the time to see ♪

♪ The need there is to be ♪

♪ A family yeah ♪

♪ 'Cause it's All Of Us ♪

♪ Sometimes it can be rough ♪

♪ Time and seasons change but we will still remain ♪

♪ It's just All Of Us ♪

♪ It's just All Of Us ♪

♪ It's just All Of Us ♪

♪ It's just All Of Us ♪♪♪

["Ain't No Sunshine" by Bill Withers on stereo]

♪ Ain't no sunshine when she's gone ♪

♪ It's not warm when she's away ♪

♪ Away ♪

♪ Ain't no sunshine when she's gone ♪

Sing it, brother, sing it.

♪ And she's always gone too long ♪

♪ Anytime she goes away ♪

‐ Eh! ‐ Oh!

[shrieking]

♪ Wonder.. ♪♪♪

What are we playing?

It's a very scary version of marbles

and it looks like your dad has lost all of his.

‐ Daddy! ‐ Heh, hey, hey, hey, big fella.

Ooh, look at the ant trail.

Robert, you really need to clean your act up.

‐ I'm.. ‐ And your house.

Tia could help. Where is she?

Um, um, in her skin and, um..

[clears throat]

...when she jump out, you jump in.

[both chuckling]

‐ Robert.. ‐ Ah, stop it!

When she jump out, you jump in. Ha‐ha..

Jump into the kitchen. Ha‐ha!

When she jump out, you jump in.

[laughing]

Oh, whoa!

Wow, uh, Robert.

When are you gonna tell Bobby about Tia?

When I think the time is right, Neesee.

It's been over two weeks.

Is this gonna be like the time his fish

Mrs. Swimmingsworth died

and you told him she ran away?

Where did she run, Robert?

Poor child spent days lookin' for little fin prints

in every crevice of this house.

Look, Neesee, the boy is six years old

I'm trying to protect him from the truth.

The truth is, you need to get yourself together.

Bobby's dance is Friday night

and you're supposed to get fitted for your suits.

Yeah, well, I got plenty of suits.

Bobby doesn't, and I thought it'd be cute

if you guys matched.

You know what, Neesee?

Why don't you get a suit and you match him?

Alright? I need a little bit more time around here.

‐ To do what? ‐ Look around, Neesee.

I'm feelin' sorry for myself.

And I was doin' a damn good job

at that until you came and interrupted my flow.

Well, I can give you all the time you need.

But Bobby, that's another story.

Look, I know what you're goin' through is hard.

No, Neesee, you don't know what I'm goin' through

because your fiance didn't leave you.

Robert, I don't wanna argue with you.

Then why are you movin' your lips

and stuff is comin' out, huh?

I also don't wanna have to explain to our son

why his father is missing a front tooth.

So I'm gonna leave now. Have fun at your pity party.

I will..

...because you're not invited.

Great. Who's on the Wheels of Steel?

DJ Pathetic?

[imitating crying]

[instrumental music]

This is what we look like when we come to your house.

So don't be afraid of us, okay?

When are you gonna show us how to burn stuff?

[chuckles]

Mm, mm. Mm, mm. Mm.

Jonelle, why aren't you in your classroom?

Girl, you know you're engaged now.

I know, and I do love my Dirky

but just because I have my food

doesn't mean I can't look at the menu.

Especially when there's a big hunk of flame

broiled lovin' on it.

You know, Robert used to love to grill.

Oh, girl, you got it bad.

And I don't know what you're gonna do without your boo.

That's okay, girl.

Just let it burn.

'Cause you gonna be alright.

Robert ain't got to go.

Did you just string together some Usher songs

and pose them as advice?

Kinda.

So, let me get this straight.

If I lit you, would you burn?

[bell ringing]

Alright, class, recess.

You guys have fun.

Well, Captain Harris, you were great.

‐ Please, call me Rick. ‐ Okay.

Captain Rick, the kids loved you! Thanks so much for comin'.

No problem. They're great kids. You must be a great teacher.

Oh, well, you know, I did win four Golden Apples

but that was just the school board's opinion.

[both chuckle]

[clears throat]

[sighs]

‐ Oh, let me help you with that. ‐ Oh, thank you.

Hey, is that Romare Bearden? I love him.

Wow! So do I.

People rarely recognize his work.

You know, there's an exhibit at the county museum.

I was thinkin' about goin'‐‐

It's great. I've been. You should check it out.

It's really good.

[sighs] Well, uh..

...it was, it was nice meeting you.

Oh, you too.

Hey, you know, the thing is..

I was wondering if..

...you know, you'd like to have coffee with me sometime?

Oh. Oh, no.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

No, I'm sorry, okay? Uh, no.

[clears throat]

You see, I'm just getting out of a relationship

and I'm just

not ready to do all of that.

‐ Totally understand. ‐ Okay.

But I can't promise I won't ask again.

You're too beautiful not to give it one more try.

Uh, and, uh, if it helps..

...I can cook.

[chuckles]

Oh, and, and, and if I burn dinner..

...I can put it out. Heh‐heh!

[instrumental music]

I think you need to get out of this house

and meet some new women.

New booty has always cured me

of any heartache.

Well, I don't want any new booty.

I want old booty. Tia's booty.

Well, you ain't gettin' no booty sittin' in here

clutchin' a pillow with your man panties on.

Can a brother be sad?

Hey, man, you're black in America.

What's there to be sad about?

Bad example.

‐ Hey, hey, y'all. ‐ 'What's up?'

Hey, hey, what's up, big fella?

S‐s‐sup?

Bobby Deuce, give me five, man.

Alright, let me give you five.

And you go buy yourself a smile.

[sighs] He won't tell me what's wrong.

Bobby, now that you, me and your father

are all here together, you can tell us what it is.

You're sad because you think daddy's sad, huh?

No.

Hah, in your face.

So, what's wrong, son?

You don't wanna talk about this because your mom is here?

It's a man thing?

Sorry, mom.

[imitating Bobby] Sorry, mom.

I understand.

Father and son secrets.

[chuckles]

You better tell me everything.

Bye, sweetie. Have a nice private talk.

‐ Okay. Bye, mommy. ‐ Bye.

Everything.

[mouths] Get out. Get out.

What's up, son?

Allison said she won't play with me ever again.

She said, "Talk to the hand."

What?

She dissed my main man?

You know..

...I never did like her, you know that's a weave, right?

But look here, son, it's alright to be sad over a girl.

It really is.

I'm gonna go get us some Kool‐Aid

and then we'll talk about this, okay?

Okay.

["Ain't No Sunshine" by Bill Withers on stereo]

♪ Ain't no sunshine when she's gone ♪

♪ And this house just ain't no home ♪

♪ Anytime she goes away ♪

Sing it, mister, sing it.

♪ She goes away ♪♪♪

[instrumental music]

I love that song too, son

but don't you want to listen to somethin' happier?

I just want to sit here and be sad like you, dad.

Oh, daddy's not sad. Daddy's fine.

I mean, I've been sad before

so I know a little something about it.

Like what?

Like..

...you gotta stand up to sad.

You gotta fight sad.

You gotta say..

"Listen here, Mr. Sad.

"I'm tired of you gettin' in my way.

"I'm a man

and I got better things to do."

You try it, son.

Listen here, Mr. Sad.

I'm tired of you gettin' in my way.

I'm a man

and a man's got better things to do!

Anyway, there's other girls out there than just Allison.

What about Emma?

[chuckles] Yeah, she's funny.

Ah! You see what just happened right there?

Huh? You see what just happened?

For two seconds, you forgot about Allison

and you weren't sad anymore.

Listen, son, forget about the girls

that don't know how great you are.

‐ Yeah! ‐ Yeah!

And guess what else?

We're gonna clean up around here and we're gonna show

all the Allisons of the world

that they can't break us.

‐ Yeah! ‐ Yeah!

And I'm gonna clean myself up too.

Finally!

[instrumental music]

What about this one, dad?

Nah, son, you're too gangster for that, man.

Come here. Let me show you some..

Look how good we look.

[laughing]

See that?

Daddy, is this the same suit I'm gonna wear

when you and Tia get married?

Uh.. Um..

Look here, son..

...I've been wanting to tell you..

...about me and Tia.

Tia and I decided not to get married right now.

So you're getting married later?

Well, we decided not to get married later, either.

So, when are you getting married?

‐ We were thinkin', maybe never. ‐ Never? Why?

Look here, son.

[sighs]

[exhales]

This is Tia..

...this is me.

Two different people tryin' to come together

to form...a beautiful piece.

And, in order to accomplish that

you have to go through twists and turns and..

...loops like this tie.

I'm confused.

Me too, but s‐stay with me, okay?

Sometimes, the tie gets messed up.

If you pull one end too far

sometimes...the other end

feels short‐changed.

Are we talkin' about Tia or the tie?

I'm talkin' about both.

Daddy, this is bad.

Yeah. I know.

‐ And it hurts! ‐ Oh, I'm sorry.

Yeah, daddy really messed this one up.

It's okay. We don't have to wear ties.

I know.

But we will.

Okay?

Always remember..

...if you can't tie the knot..

...the clip‐on is your best friend.

[chuckles]

I love you, daddy.

I love you too, son.

[instrumental music]

[bell ringing]

I just came by to clear the air

so this wouldn't be weird and awkward when we see each other.

‐ Oh. ‐ You know?

So, consider the air cleared.

‐ Okay. ‐ Mm.

Wow! Clear air.

[chuckles] Ahem.

Oh, and, um..

I came by to get Bobby's homework. Where is it?

Oh, it's, uh, in Jonelle's class.

You know, where he is all day.

‐ Word? ‐ Word.

Alright, then, um, I'll go get it.

‐ So how you doin'? ‐ I'm good. How are you?

I'm good. I'm good.

Good.

‐ Yep. ‐ It's..

‐ It's real good. ‐ Yep.

‐ Um. ‐ It..

You know, it's..

It's nice that we can be cordial.

Yes, yes, 'cause cordial's good.

You know, especially for Bobby.

‐ Right. For Bobby. ‐ Mm‐hm, mm‐hm.

‐ I miss you, Robert. ‐ I miss you too, I..

Hey! Oh, ho!

Oh!

Um, the principal asked me to give these to you.

They were waitin' in the office for you.

Hey, Robert!

So, what's up, Jonelle?

Wow! Look at these colors. Isn't this gorgeous?

Aren't they..

...Robert?

I don't know, Casablanca lilies

are classier and more romantic

but...maybe that's just me.

Uh‐oh! Ahem.

Well.. Call me. Excuse me.

[chuckles]

So, your students did those?

Yes, yes, you know, we've been

studyin' strong black women.

Who the hell is that?

Oh, you know, that's supposed to be Maxine Waters

but it looks a whole lot more like Warren Sapp.

[chuckles]

Hey, look, um..

...I gotta go.

Okay, um.. Thanks for comin' by.

Yeah.

And, uh..

...tell Rick I said "Nice flowers."

Those flowers look like they stink.

[instrumental music]

Guys, guys, come on, let's dance.

Okay. Okay, one, two, three, the pretty girls, come on, guys.

Come on.

Okay, come on, you guys. Come on!

Let's get this party started!

Now, y'all remember this.

♪ Ah ah ah ah‐ah ♪

You remember that? And this? Oh, oh.

This is so cute.

Daddy, there were no more cupcakes after I ate my two.

That's alright, I'll just have that little bit right there.

‐ Oh, that is so nasty. ‐ Mm. It's good.

[chuckles]

‐ Mm. Mm. ‐ Stop.

Come on, you two.

I wanna take a picture of you two in your suits.

Oh, alright. Aah!

[music continues]

[chuckles]

Come on, let's get these kids dancin'.

You remember bein' their age?

No one wants to be on the dance floor first.

[chuckles]

‐ Come on. ‐ Neesee, Neesee, Neesee.

I‐I‐I can't leave Bobby.

It's okay, come on, you've got one move.

Now, use it.

Come on.

[instrumental music]

Oh.

[indistinct chatter]

Okay.

I..

You know...in all the bitterness we've been through..

...I forgot you used to be my rock.

I forgot I wanted to be.

[music continues]

‐ Mm. Mm. ‐ Watch out now.

[both chuckling]

[instrumental music]

Talk to the hand.

‐ Let me go and get him. ‐ No, no, no.

Let's see how he handles this.

‐ Aah. Aah. Aah.. ‐ He's my son.

[music continues]

[theme music]