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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,545 --> 00:00:05,712 (soft dramatic music) 2 00:00:08,466 --> 00:00:10,966 (bell chimes) 3 00:00:16,520 --> 00:00:18,752 - Wow look at all that salad! 4 00:00:18,752 --> 00:00:20,449 That's loads. 5 00:00:20,449 --> 00:00:21,840 - Barry, could you move, I can't actually, 6 00:00:21,840 --> 00:00:22,673 - Oh yeah my bad. 7 00:00:22,673 --> 00:00:24,233 - Get the food out. 8 00:00:26,350 --> 00:00:28,893 - I gotta say, I'm so excited to be here. 9 00:00:29,993 --> 00:00:31,850 I can't wait to meet your parents. 10 00:00:31,850 --> 00:00:33,823 I love families, just do. 11 00:00:34,986 --> 00:00:36,059 - [Samantha's Father] Because with Jan and 12 00:00:36,059 --> 00:00:38,830 our two beautiful daughters, I've 13 00:00:38,830 --> 00:00:41,450 I've spent my whole life surrounded by women. 14 00:00:41,450 --> 00:00:43,100 - What are you complaining about? 15 00:00:44,720 --> 00:00:45,920 - Which means I 16 00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:47,670 - You don't get a word in edgewise? 17 00:00:49,130 --> 00:00:50,950 - I never get a word in edgewise. 18 00:00:50,950 --> 00:00:51,783 - Oh sorry Mike. 19 00:00:52,890 --> 00:00:53,723 - But 20 00:00:54,870 --> 00:00:57,270 I wouldn't change it for the world. 21 00:00:57,270 --> 00:00:58,883 - I love you all so very much. 22 00:00:59,899 --> 00:01:02,649 (group applauds) 23 00:01:04,090 --> 00:01:05,017 - [Logan] Wow. 24 00:01:05,017 --> 00:01:06,790 Wowza, wowza. 25 00:01:06,790 --> 00:01:08,423 I'd like to say a few words. 26 00:01:11,990 --> 00:01:13,720 What a guy, huh, Mike? 27 00:01:13,720 --> 00:01:16,613 Seriously good father, seriously good guy. 28 00:01:16,613 --> 00:01:19,820 I guess you're all wondering who's this guy. 29 00:01:19,820 --> 00:01:22,660 I'm Logan, Logan Mann, I'm 30 00:01:23,550 --> 00:01:26,130 I'm Samantha's new squeeze Samantha's new 31 00:01:26,130 --> 00:01:27,370 new boyfriend. 32 00:01:27,370 --> 00:01:28,603 We're official, right? 33 00:01:28,603 --> 00:01:30,430 (laughter) 34 00:01:30,430 --> 00:01:31,580 Come up here come on. 35 00:01:31,580 --> 00:01:33,070 I'm nothing without you gal. 36 00:01:33,070 --> 00:01:33,903 I need you here. 37 00:01:36,980 --> 00:01:37,813 Look at her huh? 38 00:01:38,720 --> 00:01:39,920 Isn't she beautiful? 39 00:01:39,920 --> 00:01:44,380 But today isn't about me, or Samantha. 40 00:01:44,380 --> 00:01:46,720 It's about love. 41 00:01:46,720 --> 00:01:48,450 I'm talking about these two, 42 00:01:48,450 --> 00:01:49,283 Jan and Mike. 43 00:01:50,140 --> 00:01:52,680 It hasn't all been plain sailing, hey? 44 00:01:52,680 --> 00:01:54,350 It's had its ups and its downs. 45 00:01:54,350 --> 00:01:57,050 Big down of course 2003, 46 00:01:57,050 --> 00:02:01,483 where Mike hooked up with Rosemary from the tennis club, 47 00:02:02,550 --> 00:02:05,600 lured by the promise of more adventurous sex. 48 00:02:05,600 --> 00:02:08,930 But he, he realized the error of his ways. 49 00:02:08,930 --> 00:02:10,800 You know, he wanted to win back his 50 00:02:10,800 --> 00:02:12,250 his little firecracker. 51 00:02:12,250 --> 00:02:13,400 And look at her, there. 52 00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:15,740 Look at her little firecracker. 53 00:02:15,740 --> 00:02:18,400 He got her back, by God he got her back. 54 00:02:18,400 --> 00:02:20,324 I never knew who my parents were, 55 00:02:20,324 --> 00:02:21,157 (ominous music) 56 00:02:21,157 --> 00:02:21,990 didn't have much of a family. 57 00:02:21,990 --> 00:02:23,200 (balloon hand air pump pulsing) 58 00:02:23,200 --> 00:02:24,760 So, 59 00:02:24,760 --> 00:02:28,400 thank you for having me here in this special occasion. 60 00:02:28,400 --> 00:02:29,233 I love you mum. 61 00:02:30,769 --> 00:02:31,998 I love you dad. 62 00:02:31,998 --> 00:02:33,820 (crowd claps) 63 00:02:33,820 --> 00:02:35,126 - [Samantha] What was that? 64 00:02:35,126 --> 00:02:36,370 What were you thinking? 65 00:02:36,370 --> 00:02:37,454 - I well I was 66 00:02:37,454 --> 00:02:39,750 Was that a wrong thing to do? 67 00:02:39,750 --> 00:02:41,290 - Yes. 68 00:02:41,290 --> 00:02:43,040 It was wrong. 69 00:02:43,040 --> 00:02:45,439 How did you know all that stuff about my dad? 70 00:02:45,439 --> 00:02:46,272 - [Logan] Oh god, 71 00:02:46,272 --> 00:02:47,620 are we having our first argument girl? 72 00:02:47,620 --> 00:02:49,130 Oh no I'm freaking out. 73 00:02:49,130 --> 00:02:53,170 - Logan, we've been on a couple of dates just 74 00:02:53,170 --> 00:02:54,290 slow it down. 75 00:02:54,290 --> 00:02:57,283 - You have my word I swear on my life. 76 00:02:57,283 --> 00:02:58,116 - Okay 77 00:02:59,288 --> 00:03:02,273 (ominous music) 78 00:03:02,273 --> 00:03:03,367 - What the hell was that all about? 79 00:03:03,367 --> 00:03:04,740 How did he know all that stuff? 80 00:03:04,740 --> 00:03:06,489 - I honestly haven't told him anything dad. 81 00:03:06,489 --> 00:03:07,610 (Logan grunts in the distance) 82 00:03:07,610 --> 00:03:08,969 He's not what you think. 83 00:03:08,969 --> 00:03:09,802 (thumbing on glass) 84 00:03:09,802 --> 00:03:11,323 He's actually really sweet. 85 00:03:12,933 --> 00:03:13,821 (distant commotion) 86 00:03:13,821 --> 00:03:15,892 (glass shattering) 87 00:03:15,892 --> 00:03:17,041 (gasps) 88 00:03:17,041 --> 00:03:20,541 (suspenseful music music) 89 00:03:21,648 --> 00:03:22,481 - Ah! 90 00:03:34,220 --> 00:03:37,137 (painful groaning) 91 00:03:48,361 --> 00:03:50,797 (heavy panting) 92 00:03:50,797 --> 00:03:53,047 - This is not a real clown. 93 00:03:54,659 --> 00:03:57,603 This is a man dressed as a clown. 94 00:04:00,740 --> 00:04:02,273 - That's what clowns are. 95 00:04:04,860 --> 00:04:05,693 - Really? 96 00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:08,300 - Yes. 97 00:04:08,300 --> 00:04:09,520 - Take your clown 98 00:04:10,880 --> 00:04:13,393 and get out of my party. 99 00:04:15,004 --> 00:04:18,171 (soft dramatic music) 100 00:04:19,090 --> 00:04:23,120 - Gentlemen as you are aware, 101 00:04:23,120 --> 00:04:26,550 I now have Antelope's Tail in my position. 102 00:04:26,550 --> 00:04:28,753 The world is shitting nickers. 103 00:04:30,220 --> 00:04:33,850 This can only mean good things for my position in 104 00:04:33,850 --> 00:04:38,260 Interpol's Top Ten Most Wanted Bad Asses. 105 00:04:38,260 --> 00:04:41,898 Sergei pray tell where do I stand. 106 00:04:41,898 --> 00:04:43,383 - You are number five. 107 00:04:43,383 --> 00:04:44,800 - I shit on five! 108 00:04:46,731 --> 00:04:48,354 You know what? 109 00:04:48,354 --> 00:04:51,630 I have brilliant plan to keep to numero uno. 110 00:04:51,630 --> 00:04:52,713 Sergei take notes. 111 00:04:53,610 --> 00:04:55,040 So here it is, 112 00:04:55,040 --> 00:05:00,040 we invite other ten top most wanted bad guys 113 00:05:00,090 --> 00:05:04,670 to secret auction using Antelope's Tail as bait. 114 00:05:04,670 --> 00:05:08,190 But, we play mind games. 115 00:05:08,190 --> 00:05:11,560 So is it a real auction to sell device, 116 00:05:11,560 --> 00:05:14,705 or is it a trap to kill them? 117 00:05:14,705 --> 00:05:16,501 - Okay, but just to be clear 118 00:05:16,501 --> 00:05:19,490 we going to make real auction or it's a trick? 119 00:05:19,490 --> 00:05:22,067 - Of course we are or are we? 120 00:05:23,202 --> 00:05:25,369 Is it to trap or isn't it? 121 00:05:27,116 --> 00:05:29,265 - [Sergei] No I guess that, but I think it's important 122 00:05:29,265 --> 00:05:31,109 that at least we know if it's trap 123 00:05:31,109 --> 00:05:32,997 or I cannot organize. 124 00:05:32,997 --> 00:05:37,660 - Rengard can you please inform this bozo 125 00:05:37,660 --> 00:05:40,240 what are mind games, please? 126 00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:42,179 - [Ringard] I'm sorry. 127 00:05:42,179 --> 00:05:44,863 I don't know what is mind games. 128 00:05:48,760 --> 00:05:49,890 Or do I? 129 00:05:49,890 --> 00:05:53,538 - You see Rengard gets it. 130 00:05:53,538 --> 00:05:56,890 (dramatic music) 131 00:05:56,890 --> 00:05:59,420 - Gentlemen this is Bad News. 132 00:05:59,420 --> 00:06:03,272 I have employed her to pass on all of the bad news. 133 00:06:03,272 --> 00:06:04,937 Because she is so hot. 134 00:06:05,907 --> 00:06:08,237 The bad news doesn't feel quite so bad. 135 00:06:10,712 --> 00:06:12,633 What is it my trickletart? 136 00:06:12,633 --> 00:06:17,633 - The assassination attempt on Logan Mann has failed. 137 00:06:18,175 --> 00:06:19,440 - Oh, right? 138 00:06:19,440 --> 00:06:24,440 - [Bad News] And Gavril has been seized by MI6 operatives. 139 00:06:25,660 --> 00:06:26,737 - Well that is actually some, 140 00:06:26,737 --> 00:06:29,546 that is some really bad news. 141 00:06:29,546 --> 00:06:31,160 - What if Gavril talks? 142 00:06:31,160 --> 00:06:34,520 - Don't worry yourself old mother hen. 143 00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:36,680 He'll keep his mouth shut. 144 00:06:36,680 --> 00:06:40,120 You see all of my Abacus assassins 145 00:06:40,120 --> 00:06:41,933 is issued with one of these, 146 00:06:43,130 --> 00:06:45,490 deadly cyanide pills. 147 00:06:45,490 --> 00:06:47,713 Knowing that each and everyone of you 148 00:06:49,153 --> 00:06:51,527 would rather die than talk. 149 00:06:54,507 --> 00:06:57,424 (distorted sounds) 150 00:07:00,433 --> 00:07:01,760 - Loss of control of the jaw. 151 00:07:01,760 --> 00:07:03,020 Bottom lip starting to shiver. 152 00:07:03,020 --> 00:07:04,810 Pupils dilated, dry mouth. 153 00:07:04,810 --> 00:07:06,320 Don't know what to do with his left hand. 154 00:07:06,320 --> 00:07:07,153 However with the right one, 155 00:07:07,153 --> 00:07:08,420 he's stroking his little pom pom there 156 00:07:08,420 --> 00:07:10,330 with his inner palm for comfort. 157 00:07:10,330 --> 00:07:11,720 - What's wrong with him? 158 00:07:11,720 --> 00:07:14,060 - He's off his fucking swede mate. 159 00:07:14,060 --> 00:07:15,480 - Flipflop! 160 00:07:15,480 --> 00:07:16,820 - Geezer's peaking out 161 00:07:16,820 --> 00:07:18,136 I'll have to get on his level a little though 162 00:07:18,136 --> 00:07:20,330 to gain his trust, you know? 163 00:07:20,330 --> 00:07:21,990 Now, I reckon some MDMA, 164 00:07:21,990 --> 00:07:23,073 couple of a bombs, little snifter kittens 165 00:07:23,073 --> 00:07:25,540 to take the edge off. 166 00:07:25,540 --> 00:07:26,682 Nice one, got a little bit of weed 167 00:07:26,682 --> 00:07:28,052 leftover from Crimbo. 168 00:07:28,052 --> 00:07:29,370 Now, what I need you to do is get 169 00:07:29,370 --> 00:07:30,560 your ass down to the shops and buy 170 00:07:30,560 --> 00:07:32,970 me a box of menthol cigarettes and ice cold Stellas. 171 00:07:32,970 --> 00:07:35,370 Must be ice cold, understood? 172 00:07:35,370 --> 00:07:37,310 - I don't agree with your drinks and drugs. 173 00:07:37,310 --> 00:07:40,070 I think people that take them are quite sad. 174 00:07:40,070 --> 00:07:42,750 - Look, do you have a problem with me? 175 00:07:42,750 --> 00:07:44,290 - Maybe you've got a problem with yourself, 176 00:07:44,290 --> 00:07:46,290 so that's why you take so much drinks and drugs, 177 00:07:46,290 --> 00:07:47,964 so you can run away from who you really are. 178 00:07:47,964 --> 00:07:52,964 Oh! 179 00:07:53,634 --> 00:07:58,634 - Dick. 180 00:07:59,212 --> 00:08:02,111 (key pad beeping) 181 00:08:02,111 --> 00:08:05,944 (enchanting mysterious music) 182 00:08:21,150 --> 00:08:23,392 - How the hell did you get in here, man? 183 00:08:23,392 --> 00:08:24,430 - [Logan] I broke a window. 184 00:08:24,430 --> 00:08:26,350 But then I couldn't fit through it 185 00:08:26,350 --> 00:08:27,490 so I smashed your door. 186 00:08:27,490 --> 00:08:29,600 - You smashed my door? 187 00:08:29,600 --> 00:08:31,710 - They tried to kill me, Ruth. 188 00:08:31,710 --> 00:08:33,380 In my home! 189 00:08:33,380 --> 00:08:34,760 Well it wasn't actually my home, 190 00:08:34,760 --> 00:08:35,940 it was my girlfriend's but it 191 00:08:35,940 --> 00:08:38,334 wasn't actually her place it was her parents' place 192 00:08:38,334 --> 00:08:39,375 - All right stop. 193 00:08:39,375 --> 00:08:40,208 Who tried to kill you? 194 00:08:40,208 --> 00:08:42,090 - A clown assassin attacked me. 195 00:08:42,090 --> 00:08:44,720 How did he know where I was? 196 00:08:44,720 --> 00:08:46,430 I'm telling you now, we got a mole. 197 00:08:46,430 --> 00:08:47,750 A dirty great leak. 198 00:08:47,750 --> 00:08:48,583 - Right. 199 00:08:48,583 --> 00:08:50,290 Well I'm going to pretend you didn't say that. 200 00:08:50,290 --> 00:08:52,520 - I'll say it a million times so you believe me. 201 00:08:52,520 --> 00:08:54,704 We got a leak, we got a leak, we got a leak 202 00:08:54,704 --> 00:08:56,530 - All right just shut up. 203 00:08:56,530 --> 00:08:58,100 - Let me start again, please. 204 00:08:58,100 --> 00:08:58,933 We got a leak, we got a 205 00:08:58,933 --> 00:09:00,210 - No just stop it! 206 00:09:00,210 --> 00:09:02,860 Now, this assassin, do you think he'll talk? 207 00:09:02,860 --> 00:09:05,510 - You bet your spaghetti bolognese he'll talk. 208 00:09:05,510 --> 00:09:08,220 Permission to take this thing brown bananas. 209 00:09:08,220 --> 00:09:09,167 - What what are you talking about? 210 00:09:09,167 --> 00:09:11,140 - Approving to pickle a sticky Thomas 211 00:09:11,140 --> 00:09:12,160 - A what? 212 00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:14,520 - Schevchenko was tipped off in Bulgaria. 213 00:09:14,520 --> 00:09:16,140 I need to take this thing! 214 00:09:16,140 --> 00:09:17,860 Deaf, dumb and blind. 215 00:09:17,860 --> 00:09:19,970 No eyes, no ears. 216 00:09:19,970 --> 00:09:20,803 - Right well, 217 00:09:20,803 --> 00:09:22,370 why didn't you just say that in the first place? 218 00:09:22,370 --> 00:09:25,603 - Mark my words, someone under that roof 219 00:09:25,603 --> 00:09:28,978 is not who they say they are. 220 00:09:28,978 --> 00:09:31,645 (ominous music) 221 00:09:33,014 --> 00:09:34,395 - Hi. 222 00:09:34,395 --> 00:09:35,228 - Hey. 223 00:09:37,750 --> 00:09:39,190 - I just wanted to say Graham, 224 00:09:39,190 --> 00:09:41,510 thank you for dinner last night. 225 00:09:41,510 --> 00:09:42,780 You really are a good cook. 226 00:09:42,780 --> 00:09:45,030 - Nah chili con carn 227 00:09:45,976 --> 00:09:47,993 Yeah, I really enjoyed it, it was great. 228 00:09:49,560 --> 00:09:51,320 - Any joy for the assassins' handset? 229 00:09:51,320 --> 00:09:52,520 - Well, this little guy. 230 00:09:53,780 --> 00:09:55,770 Lovely little key actually. 231 00:09:55,770 --> 00:09:57,983 He's using a dynamic IP aren't you mate? 232 00:09:59,158 --> 00:10:00,130 Yeah, with the new anonymity tool 233 00:10:00,130 --> 00:10:01,800 designed to conceal his user's identity 234 00:10:01,800 --> 00:10:03,810 and heavily encrypt all communication. 235 00:10:03,810 --> 00:10:06,090 My guess is the whole of the Abacus Network 236 00:10:06,090 --> 00:10:07,920 is using the secure connection. 237 00:10:07,920 --> 00:10:09,460 Now, I've cracked the username. 238 00:10:09,460 --> 00:10:11,230 That was a piece of solid piss. 239 00:10:11,230 --> 00:10:12,940 But I just need the eight-digit passcode 240 00:10:12,940 --> 00:10:13,890 to gain entry so, I 241 00:10:15,880 --> 00:10:17,823 - I like that you're so clever. 242 00:10:21,137 --> 00:10:22,370 - I like the smell of your hair. 243 00:10:22,370 --> 00:10:23,230 - Do you? 244 00:10:23,230 --> 00:10:24,760 - Big time. 245 00:10:24,760 --> 00:10:25,593 - Thank you. 246 00:10:25,593 --> 00:10:26,426 It's um, 247 00:10:28,560 --> 00:10:30,043 It's a medicated shampoo. 248 00:10:30,950 --> 00:10:33,440 - What for the treatment of psoriasis? 249 00:10:33,440 --> 00:10:34,273 - Yes. 250 00:10:36,610 --> 00:10:38,543 I have a flaky scalp. 251 00:10:39,750 --> 00:10:40,583 - Well, well 252 00:10:42,030 --> 00:10:44,400 I believe it contains a coal tar 253 00:10:45,320 --> 00:10:46,860 which relieves itching and also restores 254 00:10:46,860 --> 00:10:48,060 skin structure by slowing down 255 00:10:48,060 --> 00:10:49,610 the process of cell production. 256 00:10:51,980 --> 00:10:55,950 - Oh, I wish I could just kiss you right now. 257 00:10:55,950 --> 00:10:56,783 - Fair enough. 258 00:10:58,680 --> 00:11:02,233 I am a very thorough lover, FYI. 259 00:11:04,050 --> 00:11:04,883 - Oh yeah? 260 00:11:07,509 --> 00:11:09,092 I will destroy you. 261 00:11:16,257 --> 00:11:19,163 - Before I worked for this Fezzy guy. 262 00:11:20,431 --> 00:11:23,063 I'm like a powerful mountain. 263 00:11:23,063 --> 00:11:24,084 - Yeah. 264 00:11:24,084 --> 00:11:27,487 - All around there were fish swimming. 265 00:11:28,838 --> 00:11:30,921 I don't really like fish. 266 00:11:32,351 --> 00:11:34,500 - But you are the fish, you know what I'm saying? 267 00:11:34,500 --> 00:11:36,083 You're a fish mate. 268 00:11:36,932 --> 00:11:38,961 Do you think I look like my mum? 269 00:11:38,961 --> 00:11:39,794 How about now? 270 00:11:39,794 --> 00:11:40,703 What about now? 271 00:11:40,703 --> 00:11:41,536 (chair screeches) 272 00:11:41,536 --> 00:11:42,369 - Fuck off, fuck off. 273 00:11:42,369 --> 00:11:43,202 Fuck! 274 00:11:43,202 --> 00:11:44,035 - What? 275 00:11:44,035 --> 00:11:45,760 - Gav mate the table man, it's freaking out. 276 00:11:45,760 --> 00:11:47,683 Fucking I don't like the way it's looking at me Gav man. 277 00:11:47,683 --> 00:11:49,180 - Want me to kill the table? 278 00:11:49,180 --> 00:11:50,065 - Yeah we need to. 279 00:11:50,065 --> 00:11:50,898 - Gavril to table! 280 00:11:52,078 --> 00:11:55,613 (hysteric shouting) 281 00:11:55,613 --> 00:11:58,446 When I was little small boy child, 282 00:11:59,664 --> 00:12:01,714 I wanted to be dance. 283 00:12:01,714 --> 00:12:03,150 - Yeah? 284 00:12:03,150 --> 00:12:04,400 - Papa said no, 285 00:12:06,224 --> 00:12:08,765 (gentle ballet music) 286 00:12:08,765 --> 00:12:09,598 Oh. 287 00:12:13,614 --> 00:12:14,447 My unicorn 288 00:12:15,771 --> 00:12:18,604 I want to ride you to magic place! 289 00:12:20,770 --> 00:12:23,353 (ballet music) 290 00:12:33,862 --> 00:12:35,570 I'm a bad man. 291 00:12:35,570 --> 00:12:36,996 - No, no you're not 292 00:12:36,996 --> 00:12:38,287 - I've been bad man. 293 00:12:38,287 --> 00:12:40,410 - No sh, sh no cause you're a good man. 294 00:12:40,410 --> 00:12:41,507 Really good, you're good. 295 00:12:41,507 --> 00:12:44,010 - [Mysterious Voice] Mon? 296 00:12:44,010 --> 00:12:44,843 Monica. 297 00:12:46,370 --> 00:12:47,490 Hey mon. 298 00:12:47,490 --> 00:12:48,323 Mon? 299 00:12:49,949 --> 00:12:50,782 - Grandad? 300 00:12:54,660 --> 00:12:56,040 Grandad is that you? 301 00:12:56,040 --> 00:12:58,573 - No it's me Logan. 302 00:13:00,460 --> 00:13:01,293 Listen, 303 00:13:02,520 --> 00:13:07,120 we need the Abacus passcode for that email network. 304 00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:11,210 - The passcode just, um, no... 305 00:13:11,210 --> 00:13:12,720 Can I get some water in here, please? 306 00:13:12,720 --> 00:13:13,560 I'm proper dry. 307 00:13:13,560 --> 00:13:14,680 - Oh yeah. 308 00:13:14,680 --> 00:13:15,796 - [Monica] Gav. 309 00:13:15,796 --> 00:13:16,629 - [Gavril] Huh? 310 00:13:16,629 --> 00:13:20,849 - Babe can I get your web email thing passcode thing, 311 00:13:20,849 --> 00:13:21,682 (laughs) 312 00:13:21,682 --> 00:13:22,830 please? 313 00:13:22,830 --> 00:13:23,672 What is it Gav? 314 00:13:23,672 --> 00:13:24,755 - [Gavril] Uh 315 00:13:26,044 --> 00:13:27,360 23 316 00:13:28,684 --> 00:13:30,965 04 317 00:13:30,965 --> 00:13:31,798 1974 318 00:13:33,688 --> 00:13:34,521 - I'm in. 319 00:13:36,760 --> 00:13:41,380 The eagle has landed and he's laid a rather interesting egg. 320 00:13:41,380 --> 00:13:43,270 An email egg sent today. 321 00:13:43,270 --> 00:13:44,103 - Feed me. 322 00:13:44,103 --> 00:13:45,100 Feed me data. 323 00:13:45,100 --> 00:13:46,810 - Sender, Vlad Schevchenko, 324 00:13:46,810 --> 00:13:49,303 Subject, the Antelope's Tail Auction Location, 325 00:13:51,560 --> 00:13:52,913 Saint Petersburg, Russia. 326 00:13:54,620 --> 00:13:55,746 (triumphant music) 327 00:13:55,746 --> 00:13:57,573 - We fly east. 328 00:13:59,210 --> 00:14:00,943 Fire up the chopper boys. 329 00:14:04,481 --> 00:14:07,231 (dramatic music) 330 00:14:18,131 --> 00:14:21,881 (dramatic music intensifies) 331 00:14:25,930 --> 00:14:27,497 - Are guests all present yet? 332 00:14:29,130 --> 00:14:30,540 Does it seem to you Sergei 333 00:14:30,540 --> 00:14:32,843 that the good time in the cards? 334 00:14:33,698 --> 00:14:36,625 - Yes, why are you do anxious? 335 00:14:36,625 --> 00:14:37,542 - Truth is. 336 00:14:38,663 --> 00:14:42,823 When I was a little gopnik of only ten years. 337 00:14:43,990 --> 00:14:46,593 My mother had a birthday party for me. 338 00:14:47,650 --> 00:14:50,760 She invited all other children from my school. 339 00:14:50,760 --> 00:14:52,370 She made her famous kolaczki. 340 00:14:52,370 --> 00:14:54,270 - Oh I love kolaczkis. 341 00:14:54,270 --> 00:14:57,270 - Stop thinking of your stomach. 342 00:14:57,270 --> 00:14:59,110 You fat horse. 343 00:14:59,110 --> 00:15:00,710 - Sorry. 344 00:15:00,710 --> 00:15:05,710 - We waited for hours and hours for what seemed like days. 345 00:15:06,411 --> 00:15:08,270 But no one came. 346 00:15:08,270 --> 00:15:12,450 In my bedroom that eve had I made a vow, 347 00:15:12,450 --> 00:15:14,673 to never ever have another party. 348 00:15:16,022 --> 00:15:16,855 Until now. 349 00:15:17,760 --> 00:15:18,687 - Well it's not really a party, it's a 350 00:15:20,270 --> 00:15:24,036 gathering stratagem with a mass murder tied to the end. 351 00:15:24,036 --> 00:15:26,652 - I just want people to like me Sergei. 352 00:15:26,652 --> 00:15:28,530 - I like you. 353 00:15:28,530 --> 00:15:32,850 - Very sweet but you're opinion matters so very little. 354 00:15:32,850 --> 00:15:34,633 Scurry along like menace. 355 00:15:36,080 --> 00:15:37,563 Get started on the plan. 356 00:15:41,477 --> 00:15:42,532 (suspenseful music) 357 00:15:42,532 --> 00:15:45,699 (shouting in Spanish) 358 00:15:46,770 --> 00:15:48,570 - Sorry I don't speak that. 359 00:15:48,570 --> 00:15:50,240 - Sorry who the fuck are you? 360 00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:51,356 What agency? 361 00:15:51,356 --> 00:15:53,603 - One minute I just found out, yeah? 362 00:15:56,690 --> 00:15:58,640 My name is John-Paul. 363 00:15:58,640 --> 00:16:00,070 I'm 24 years old, 364 00:16:00,070 --> 00:16:00,993 training chef. 365 00:16:02,860 --> 00:16:04,910 I think I was suppose to read this in a French accent, 366 00:16:04,910 --> 00:16:05,743 can I start again? 367 00:16:05,743 --> 00:16:06,576 - No listen, 368 00:16:06,576 --> 00:16:07,409 - What's your name? 369 00:16:07,409 --> 00:16:08,940 - My name is Head Chef Sam Miguel 370 00:16:08,940 --> 00:16:09,860 - Oh like the beer. 371 00:16:09,860 --> 00:16:11,440 - No, Sam. 372 00:16:11,440 --> 00:16:12,640 Sam Miguel. 373 00:16:12,640 --> 00:16:14,310 - Yeah I know but there's a beer called that. 374 00:16:14,310 --> 00:16:16,010 - My name is Sam Miguel. 375 00:16:16,010 --> 00:16:17,310 - San Miguel? 376 00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:19,280 - Sam, with an M. 377 00:16:19,280 --> 00:16:20,113 - San Miguel. 378 00:16:20,113 --> 00:16:20,946 - Sam Miguel. 379 00:16:20,946 --> 00:16:21,920 - San Miguel. 380 00:16:21,920 --> 00:16:23,170 - Sam Miguel. 381 00:16:23,170 --> 00:16:24,330 - It still sounds like San Miguel. 382 00:16:24,330 --> 00:16:26,990 - It's not important get back to work. 383 00:16:26,990 --> 00:16:27,823 - San Miguel. 384 00:16:33,410 --> 00:16:36,372 - Take these tablets grind them up. 385 00:16:36,372 --> 00:16:38,951 Put powder in everyone's dessert. 386 00:16:38,951 --> 00:16:39,987 It's poison. 387 00:16:39,987 --> 00:16:41,580 Cyanide. 388 00:16:41,580 --> 00:16:45,240 Everyone that enters the dining room will die tonight. 389 00:16:45,240 --> 00:16:47,083 Everyone must die. 390 00:16:48,150 --> 00:16:52,830 - I spy with my little eye something beginning with 391 00:16:52,830 --> 00:16:55,090 the most wanted dangerous men in the bloody world 392 00:16:55,090 --> 00:16:57,190 hanging around having a chin wag together. 393 00:16:58,210 --> 00:16:59,733 This can only spell trouble. 394 00:17:00,600 --> 00:17:02,208 T-R-O-U 395 00:17:02,208 --> 00:17:03,876 - Yeah all right mate, all right I get the gist 396 00:17:03,876 --> 00:17:04,808 - Mhm. 397 00:17:04,808 --> 00:17:06,525 (exhausted sigh) 398 00:17:06,525 --> 00:17:08,675 - You're not gonna do this all day are you? 399 00:17:10,949 --> 00:17:13,470 Fucking hate recon, some wankers. 400 00:17:13,470 --> 00:17:14,303 - Huh? 401 00:17:16,797 --> 00:17:18,885 Ah I love it mate. 402 00:17:18,885 --> 00:17:21,700 You know, my favorite part of the job to be honest. 403 00:17:21,700 --> 00:17:23,070 Just watching people. 404 00:17:23,070 --> 00:17:24,950 Some times I do it when I'm not even at work. 405 00:17:24,950 --> 00:17:27,600 - That's not fucking weird at all is it? 406 00:17:27,600 --> 00:17:29,020 Who do you watch? 407 00:17:29,020 --> 00:17:29,853 - Business men. 408 00:17:30,700 --> 00:17:32,453 Families in parks. 409 00:17:33,690 --> 00:17:34,963 Keep me sharp. 410 00:17:36,650 --> 00:17:39,660 - You telling me you sit around in parks watching kids? 411 00:17:39,660 --> 00:17:41,650 - Well it sounds weird when you say it like that. 412 00:17:41,650 --> 00:17:42,700 - Yeah. 413 00:17:42,700 --> 00:17:45,163 - This man is strictly women only. 414 00:17:47,170 --> 00:17:48,940 I do not fancy kids. 415 00:17:48,940 --> 00:17:50,360 - You need to stop talking Graham. 416 00:17:50,360 --> 00:17:53,970 - I do not like the kid kids. 417 00:17:53,970 --> 00:17:55,470 - All right stop saying kids. 418 00:17:55,470 --> 00:17:57,670 - Except for when I was a kid. 419 00:17:57,670 --> 00:17:59,840 Then I fancied kids but I was a kid. 420 00:17:59,840 --> 00:18:02,563 Lost my virginity when I was nine in a sauna. 421 00:18:03,530 --> 00:18:04,430 We did everything. 422 00:18:05,650 --> 00:18:10,110 - Welcome other global bad guys. 423 00:18:10,110 --> 00:18:12,283 You fiends you deviants. 424 00:18:13,120 --> 00:18:15,660 You gentlemen have all come here 425 00:18:15,660 --> 00:18:17,823 for auction of Antelope's Tail. 426 00:18:18,700 --> 00:18:20,723 Who would like to start the bidding? 427 00:18:21,580 --> 00:18:23,680 - I will start with, say 428 00:18:24,700 --> 00:18:25,533 million dollars. 429 00:18:27,020 --> 00:18:29,070 - Bueno, two then. 430 00:18:29,070 --> 00:18:29,903 Two millions 431 00:18:32,268 --> 00:18:33,720 - 1.5 billion. 432 00:18:35,884 --> 00:18:38,190 - 1.5 billion? 433 00:18:38,190 --> 00:18:39,060 Are you crazy? 434 00:18:39,060 --> 00:18:42,663 That is a hell of a leap from two million. 435 00:18:43,710 --> 00:18:47,760 It's truly an insane amount of money. 436 00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:49,340 I'm going to guess that nobody 437 00:18:49,340 --> 00:18:51,663 can compete with that amount. 438 00:18:53,580 --> 00:18:57,203 So it seems that the device has a new owner. 439 00:18:58,150 --> 00:19:02,062 Sorry I forget your name, mister? 440 00:19:02,062 --> 00:19:03,151 (gibberish) 441 00:19:03,151 --> 00:19:05,290 - Just call me Mark. 442 00:19:05,290 --> 00:19:08,927 - Well Mark maybe you will like to tell me 443 00:19:08,927 --> 00:19:12,453 and the champs a little bit about yourself. 444 00:19:12,453 --> 00:19:16,191 Because I'm fascinated to hear your story. 445 00:19:16,191 --> 00:19:18,130 - I'm from a small African Republic 446 00:19:18,130 --> 00:19:20,580 that's so scary no one dare say it's name. 447 00:19:20,580 --> 00:19:23,740 It's night all the time there, 24 hours a day. 448 00:19:23,740 --> 00:19:26,740 But on the plus side we have a thriving export business, 449 00:19:26,740 --> 00:19:31,043 selling chili bean sandals and the surfing, well, excellent. 450 00:19:38,140 --> 00:19:40,053 - Can anybody else smell that? 451 00:19:42,310 --> 00:19:45,590 Smells to me a lot like bullshit! 452 00:19:45,590 --> 00:19:49,700 Looks to me like we have been infiltrated gentlemen, 453 00:19:49,700 --> 00:19:51,913 by an unwanted guest. 454 00:19:53,300 --> 00:19:56,450 Wouldn't you say Mr. Mann. 455 00:19:56,450 --> 00:19:57,620 - What? 456 00:19:57,620 --> 00:20:00,043 I can assure you you are mistaken sir. 457 00:20:02,959 --> 00:20:04,412 (speaking in Chinese) 458 00:20:04,412 --> 00:20:07,290 - Oh come on I know you're in there Mann. 459 00:20:07,290 --> 00:20:08,203 - Oh I'm not. 460 00:20:12,410 --> 00:20:14,450 - Are you kidding with me Mr. Mann. 461 00:20:14,450 --> 00:20:16,070 I know it is you in there. 462 00:20:16,070 --> 00:20:18,340 - It isn't me I'm this guy. 463 00:20:18,340 --> 00:20:19,670 - Who the hell is this? 464 00:20:19,670 --> 00:20:22,304 Are you not at least going to attempt to do a voice? 465 00:20:22,304 --> 00:20:24,030 - Which one am I at the moment? 466 00:20:24,030 --> 00:20:26,030 - I don't know, you have like a mustache 467 00:20:26,030 --> 00:20:27,700 like you're suppose to be Spanish? 468 00:20:27,700 --> 00:20:30,270 - [Logan Mann] Oh no he's Greek I think, but I don't 469 00:20:30,270 --> 00:20:32,553 actually know how Greek people sound. 470 00:20:34,540 --> 00:20:38,620 - [Vlad] Oh come on Mann, you know also you can get 471 00:20:38,620 --> 00:20:41,300 like a voice box it's a voice changer. 472 00:20:41,300 --> 00:20:43,250 - I didn't know that actually. 473 00:20:43,250 --> 00:20:44,793 - This is stupid now. 474 00:20:48,050 --> 00:20:49,605 - There he is. 475 00:20:49,605 --> 00:20:52,523 - Okay, okay, you got me. 476 00:20:53,874 --> 00:20:55,120 (suspenseful music) 477 00:20:55,120 --> 00:20:55,953 - Hello? 478 00:20:59,196 --> 00:21:00,029 - Hello? 479 00:21:06,916 --> 00:21:10,916 (suspenseful music intensifies) 480 00:21:12,380 --> 00:21:15,722 - Did you really think you could just 481 00:21:15,722 --> 00:21:20,600 waltz in here and take Antelope's Tail from me? 482 00:21:20,600 --> 00:21:22,580 - Well that was the plan. 483 00:21:22,580 --> 00:21:27,363 - Only question is, now, how exactly we kill you? 484 00:21:29,345 --> 00:21:32,120 - Logan don't eat the food it's got poison in it. 485 00:21:32,120 --> 00:21:32,953 - What? 486 00:21:32,953 --> 00:21:34,739 Did you all hear that? 487 00:21:34,739 --> 00:21:37,994 Vlad intended to kill you the food was poisoned. 488 00:21:37,994 --> 00:21:39,305 (dramatic music) 489 00:21:39,305 --> 00:21:41,160 (evil laugh) 490 00:21:41,160 --> 00:21:42,818 - Let's do this. 491 00:21:42,818 --> 00:21:44,505 (dramatic music) 492 00:21:44,505 --> 00:21:46,755 (gunshots) 493 00:21:49,476 --> 00:21:53,143 (motorcycle engine roaring) 494 00:21:56,678 --> 00:21:58,466 - This is some kind of elaborate mousetrap? 495 00:21:58,466 --> 00:21:59,840 - No, no, no! 496 00:22:00,960 --> 00:22:02,610 It isn't like that. 497 00:22:02,610 --> 00:22:05,379 - I knew we shouldn't have trusted you Schevchenko. 498 00:22:05,379 --> 00:22:07,055 - [Vlad] You know something actually El Chito? 499 00:22:07,055 --> 00:22:10,608 That is a very awful thing to say! 500 00:22:10,608 --> 00:22:12,723 Did any of you think that maybe 501 00:22:12,723 --> 00:22:15,760 the reason I might want to kill all of you 502 00:22:15,760 --> 00:22:17,210 is 'cause I don't feel like an 503 00:22:17,210 --> 00:22:19,663 integral member of this friendship group? 504 00:22:20,900 --> 00:22:22,720 Because I'm not as cool as you are. 505 00:22:22,720 --> 00:22:24,813 - No, no way man. 506 00:22:25,967 --> 00:22:28,180 You're like so cool because 507 00:22:28,180 --> 00:22:30,150 you don't think you're so cool. 508 00:22:30,150 --> 00:22:32,940 So you're cool. 509 00:22:32,940 --> 00:22:36,873 - Well that is very nice. 510 00:22:38,250 --> 00:22:41,350 Kind of makes a little bit of sense. 511 00:22:41,350 --> 00:22:43,343 - I really like your beard, man. 512 00:22:44,640 --> 00:22:48,180 I wish I had the confidence to grow one. 513 00:22:48,180 --> 00:22:51,800 - What are you talking about confidence? 514 00:22:51,800 --> 00:22:54,510 You're hair it always looks so good no? 515 00:22:54,510 --> 00:22:56,393 And you always dress so good. 516 00:22:58,321 --> 00:22:59,170 - Thank you very much. 517 00:22:59,170 --> 00:23:01,720 - Hey why don't we put some tunes on, huh? 518 00:23:01,720 --> 00:23:03,803 I feel like I need to dance. 519 00:23:05,063 --> 00:23:08,732 (friendly laughter) 520 00:23:08,732 --> 00:23:10,840 (dramatic music) 521 00:23:10,840 --> 00:23:13,945 - It is not definitely not cyanide. 522 00:23:13,945 --> 00:23:16,470 - Sorry Vlad, we failed you. 523 00:23:16,470 --> 00:23:21,110 - Oh stop slob don't waste your tears. 524 00:23:21,110 --> 00:23:24,903 This whole thing you've got way more excited. 525 00:23:26,170 --> 00:23:27,003 Go to plan B! 526 00:23:28,290 --> 00:23:29,270 And plan C! 527 00:23:30,492 --> 00:23:31,409 To B and C! 528 00:23:32,791 --> 00:23:35,541 (keypad beeping) 529 00:23:37,038 --> 00:23:39,485 (buzzer unlocking) 530 00:23:39,485 --> 00:23:42,152 (ominous music) 531 00:23:44,122 --> 00:23:46,789 - No, no please, please God no. 35647

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