Original subtitles

СПОКОЙНАЯ МУЗЫКА

СПОКОЙНАЯ МУЗЫКА ГРОХОТ ГРОХОТ ПЕНИЕ ПОЮТ ПЕСНИ ПОЛИЦЕЙСКОГО САМОЛЕТА ПЕСНИ ПОЛИЦЕЙСКОГО САМОЛЕТА ГРОХОТ ПЕНИЕ ПОЮТ ПЕСНИ ПОЛИЦЕЙСКОГО САМОЛЕТА

ПЕСНИ ПОЛИЦЕЙСКОГО САМОЛЕТА

ПОЛИЦЕЙСКОГО САМОЛЕТА

И я надеюсь, что волны вас получат.

Какие волны?

Вверх и вверх!

ПОЛИЦЕЙСКАЯ САМОЛЕТА

Посмотрите на их маленькие лица, мисс Хардбрум.

Такая надежда,

такая височная виртура,

такая великолепная ожидание.

Да, мистерис.

Нужно открыть наши двери и сердце, мисс Хардбрум.

Нужно поздравить лучшего нового,

пока не заберем все наши традиционные кусты.

И стандарты.

Да, мисс Хардбрум.

И дисциплина.

Ну,

конечно.

ПОЛИЦЕЙСКАЯ САМОЛЕТА

Пора на рел-кол, я думаю.

ПОЛИЦЕЙСКАЯ САМОЛЕТА ЗВОНОК В ДВЕРЬ Новые девочки, в линию! Все,

вверх!

ТРЕВОЖНАЯ МУЗЫКА Пора закрепить, мистер Блоссом.

Райни Биземсвиртс.

Презент, мисс Хардбрум.

Ты девочка.

Презент, мисс Хардбрум.

Я еще не назвал тебя.

Руби Черри-Трей.

Я не хочу знать твою имя,

девочка. Я хочу знать,

что это за штука в твоем уши.

Это ничего, мисс.

Это просто...

КРИК Если мы можем продолжить.

Хариот, хорошая чарль.

Презент, мисс Хардбрум.

Эфел,

привет. Презент, мисс Хардбрум.

СТУК Милдред Хаббл.

Кто-то видел Милдред Хаббл?

ТРЕВОЖНАЯ МУЗЫКА ВЗРЫВ О, нет!

ТРЕВОЖНАЯ МУЗЫКА

Спасибо, мисс Хардбрум.

Девочки, добро пожаловать в Академию Каклза.

Вновь, всегда, стремя к нему.

Это наш мотив.

Так что, хотя вы здесь сегодня вечером,

на первой роге ладдера,

не боитесь оценивать высоту.

Не боитесь оценивать звезды.

Ай,

помоги! Помоги!

Не, не, не, помоги!

Не, помоги!

Не, помоги! Не,

помоги! ВЗРЫВ

ВЗРЫВ

Вновь, девочки!

Я думаю, что я должна добавить к мисс

Каклзу впечатляющие романы,

что девочки должны помнить важность пунктуалитета,

депортанта

и нуждаяся для дегнатия в все время.

То есть,

если они хотят остаться долго в этом весте.

ВЗРЫВ ВЗРЫВ

Вencing Take 5 ВВолос, в that thing.

ВВВВВВВВВВВВВВВ petrol

Hello, Mildred.

It's me,

Mork Moonshine.

You all right now?

I think so.

Thanks.

It's a real castle.

It's really old and huge and mysterious.

The school kitchensidents and the dungeons, you know.

And those second years,

they said there were places even the teachers dared not go.

And you mustn't wander off down the corridors at night or you might never come back.

They say there are ghosts everywhere.

Isn't it exciting?

Yes.

I better go.

See you.

I'll see you in the morning.

So do I.

I'll see you in the morning.

More like the Castle of Doctor Doom.

Are you coming to eat?

You bet.

I'm starving.

Yes, me too.

And me.

Those second years said they'd give you squashed frogs for breakfast.

Anything, as long as it's hot.

Where is Miss Bat?

I haven't seen her since the end of last term.

Perhaps she's not back from her summer break yet.

Someone will have to take her lessons.

I'll get the chanting books from the station recovered.

Good morning, Miss Cackle.

Have I missed anything?

Oh, thank you.

Am I to warm up the baked beans and drain the cold grease off the fried eggs?

I'd rather have had the squashed frogs.

It's a witch school,

isn't it?

Why can't they magic a decent breakfast?

Yeah, I agree.

Because, Mildred Hubble,

modern witchcraft is a serious professional business

and not to be used for selfish and trivial ends.

No, Miss Harpon.

When do we get our cats, Miss?

When you are ready.

Which in some cases might be never.

You are not here to play at witches.

You are here to study hard,

learn discipline and prepare for your WHC,

Witches' Higher Certificate, under the guidance of your form teacher, who will be...

me.

This book,

which Ethel Hallow will give out...

Yes, Miss Harpon.

...is a copy of the Witches' Code.

I did not tell you to open it, Mildred Hubble.

I just thought...

So close it.

You look as though you've been up all night.

Write out 500 times,

I must take more care of my personal appearance.

Well done, Ethel.

Now pay attention,

class.

Most of your first two weeks will be taken up with preparation for the Cackles Broomstick Basic Aptitude Test.

Failure to pass will put you on the next bus home.

Understood?

Yes, Miss Harpon.

So,

we'd better not waste any time.

You will assemble in the school courtyard at 1.30 precisely for your first flying lesson.

Come on, then, girls, get your sticks.

Mildred, what's going on there?

Oh, dear, what's going to have to do?

Come along, take your places.

That's right, spread out over there.

Take lots of space.

Thank you, Miss Mildred.

There is nothing soft about broomsticks,

giving them silly names,

like some people do with cars, like...

Bobo.

I beg your pardon.

My mom calls her car Bobo,

Miss.

Somehow, Mildred Hubble, that is not surprising.

Broomsticks,

however,

unlike Mildred's mother's car,

do not have cuddly little personalities.

You tell them to hover,

you tap them once sharply,

and they do it.

Now, girls, stand by your broomsticks, and we'll begin.

Tap them once.

Tell them to hover.

Hover.

Good.

Now, remember,

the first and most important thing is to find your balance.

Now. Sit on them.

Crazy!

It's like a computer game, Miss.

These things need joysticks.

Come along, Ruby, concentrate.

Well done, Hubble. And sit down now.

Mildred,

what are you playing at?

Oh, for goodness sake!

Down you come,

girls. Mildred, what is it?

Please, Miss, I don't feel very well.

Can I go and get a glass of water?

I'll go with you, Miss Habrum.

Very well.

But remember, girls,

the aptitude test will be here before you know it.

And

for those who fail,

the bus home is waiting.

Are you feeling better now, Ruby?

I wasn't till in the first place.

I just wanted to get out of broomstick practice before we started flying.

I can't go on fairground rides or anything.

I can't even look down from my window without feeling sick.

Don't worry,

I'll help you.

Who's ever heard of a witch afraid of heights?

There's bound to have been one.

I bet she wasn't afraid of the dark as well.

It's no use, I'm dead wood.

I'm bound to be on the next bus home.

Time to bring it alive,

eh, Frank?

When I think of the trouble I've had finding some of them parts.

I can't wait to see her moving around by herself.

Count

to three and open your eyes.

And you will get a big surprise.

One,

two,

three.

Ah!

What do you think?

Looks like fun.

I'm sure I heard one of these when I was a little girl.

What precisely is it?

The Mark I Drill Blossom Portable Broomstick Flight Simulator.

Oh, she's a little cracker.

It responds to commands,

just like a real broomstick.

Only you press buttons instead of speaking.

This is the best bit.

It's called virtual reality.

It makes you think you're really flying.

This is outrageous!

Any idiot can do this.

It's just for training.

The broomstick test is to see if girls have witchcraft in their blood,

not to see if they can perform like trained monkeys.

Really?

We'll be lucky to get her out of there before half term.

Cover it up again,

Mr.

Blossom, and store it in the great hall.

The scrap heap would be the best place.

Miss Cackle!

Give her a chance.

I'll make my decision later.

Altus,

alta,

alto,

altissima,

marvis.

Well done!

And altogether now,

othmar, akbar,

zanzibar, calendula.

And othmar, akbar,

zanzibar, calendula.

Easy now,

gently now.

Thank you, Mildred.

You can stop trembling and go back to your place now.

And do up those bootlaces.

Please, Miss Cackle, the words you said aren't the same as the ones in our books.

It's zabbatik and tartar, not zanzibar, calendula.

Yes.

Well, spells are not like potions,

you know.

They're an art.

Someone once defined flying as falling but missing the ground.

Spells are a bit like that.

Like an accident,

Miss. Yes.

Like encouraging a very particular accident to happen.

The right words,

Ethel, are sometimes not as important as the right feelings.

Miss,

can fear be magic to way?

Fear can be very useful.

I mean a particular fear, like the dirt.

Like a fear of spiders,

say. Not really.

You just have to practice

till you get used to them.

Oh,

yes.

That was cool with a hairy ratnid.

Just practice,

Ansel.

Have a pet spider at home.

Now listen,

all us four meet up after lights out.

I've got a brilliant idea.

Keep that candle up, Maud.

It's really spooky down here.

I was trying not to think about it.

I'm not sure if I've got it, Milly.

I'm sure you've heard what Miss Cackle said.

Practice.

This machine won't get me used to flying without even going up in the air.

We aren't even supposed to know about it.

We'll sit there like scrapheats.

We don't want to miss our chance then, do we?

There it is.

Will you get me out of the shape?

Wow.

Looks weird.

We don't even know how to start it.

We'll work it out.

Logic.

If Miss Bat can ride it, I

can.

Start her up.

Give me time.

Come on.

Yes.

There she goes.

There's something wrong with it.

The helmets aren't working properly.

Press the button.

Good thing.

No, wait!

Stupid girl.

And that stupid thing, hold on!

Miss Harbham, you saved my life!

Yes.

As you are aware,

Mildred, Cackles is obliged to take one or two girls

from...

Non-witch backgrounds.

On assisted places,

provided they pass an entrance test.

Your test results were...

Very unsatisfactory.

In some areas.

Basic spells, simple potions,

long division.

But a wonderful imagination!

I really enjoyed your story about the two-headed giant who argued with himself all day.

Yes. Miss Harbham had her reservations.

But we...

That is, I decided to take you.

On trial.

And now it's time to say...

Unfortunately...

That...

That...

That we're only going to give you one more chance.

Next Wednesday afternoon, Mildred, you will be doing the Cackles-Broomstick basic aptitude test.

Between now and then,

without the aid of mechanical contrivances,

I suggest that you practice.

Very hard indeed.

At least you can get off the ground now,

Millie. Not for very long.

The test can't be that difficult.

Hard anyone fails.

For some reason, I think this year is going to be different.

Griselda Blackwood says that this year you have to fly through a spooky dark tunnel of doom,

and then hang a ring of garlic right on top of the flagpole.

That's it.

I've had it.

I might as well catch the bus home now.

Don't give up, Millie.

Here.

Blinky doesn't want you to go.

Or is it blinky?

It's all right for them.

They're all brilliant at flying.

Even though they are as blind as bats.

And they're not scared of the dark or heights.

I've never really understood how they don't bump into things.

I know.

They listen.

They listen their way around, don't they?

Yes.

Attention, please.

As your name is called,

you will mount your broom and on the whistle

fly around the courtyard over the broom shed roof,

pick up a ring of garlic,

take it through the tunnel of doom and hang it on the flagpole before returning to earth.

Perfectly simple.

Any questions, girls?

No?

Good.

Rather tough this year,

HB.

Just keeping up standards,

headmistress.

Ethel,

show them how it's done, please.

Easy peasy.

Up and away.

More moonshine.

Darden Farley.

You're right.

Isn't that too bad?

Is this going to work?

A treat.

Just shut your eyes in our direction.

And finally,

Mildred Hubble.

Look, it's all building up.

Up and away.

Left.

Right a little.

Now up.

Up, up, up.

Straight ahead.

No, forward, forward.

Keep going.

Watch out for the wall.

Left a bit.

Careful.

Is Ruby supposed to be doing that, Miss Hadron?

Plugged into the beat again,

are we, Ruby Cherry Tree?

I have really had enough of this.

Oh, no.

She's on her own.

What's happened?

Is there something wrong?

Well,

that, girls, I am afraid, is the end of that.

No.

More moonshine.

No, Miss Hadron,

it's not the end.

Mildred Hubble wants to be at the school more than anything.

She tries to do the course with the right ship because she's afraid of heights.

But as Miss Cackle says,

we offer you something.

We just have to get used to it.

Mildred deserves a chance to finish.

I know she can do it.

I really think the girl has a point, Miss Hadron.

If you say so,

Miss Cackle.

You are the headmistress.

Personally, I don't think it will make the slightest difference,

but let's see, shall we?

Off you go, Mildred.

Every eye in the school is upon you.

Why don't you use my broom?

It's against the rules.

You stick to your banana.

It has character.

Talk to it.

I talk to mine.

Come on now, Mildred, let's get this over with.

Come on, Banana Broom, you can do it.

Up and away.

She's really scared of the dark.

Can't we do something?

Banana Broom, Banana Broom.

Come safe through the tunnel of doom.

Banana Broom, Banana Broom.

Come safe through the tunnel of doom.

It's working.

Banana Broom, Banana Broom.

Up and away you zoom.

Something's going on here.

Give the girl a chance, Miss Hadron.

The perfect cheek of it.

It doesn't count.

She didn't put the garlic on the flagpole.

Good point, Earthal.

Rules are rules.

Rules are rules.

But I think we should give Mildred the benefit of the doubt just this once, don't you?

Well done, girls, you've all passed.