Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:18,152 --> 00:00:20,154
*
2
00:00:25,159 --> 00:00:27,895
"As Malcolm bent
the 17-year-old Sally
3
00:00:27,929 --> 00:00:31,132
over the lip of his tanker desk,
he thought back to her baptism."
4
00:00:31,165 --> 00:00:32,200
What the shit?!
5
00:00:32,234 --> 00:00:33,868
"That summer day in '73,
every car radio
6
00:00:33,901 --> 00:00:35,737
"blaring
'Search and Destroy,'
7
00:00:35,770 --> 00:00:37,572
"a warm rain lashing down
8
00:00:37,605 --> 00:00:40,808
like sweat flinging off
a groupie's bouncing tits."
9
00:00:40,842 --> 00:00:44,212
It's like being molested by
an audio book. What is this?
10
00:00:44,246 --> 00:00:46,147
"The Width of a Peach."
My masterpiece
11
00:00:46,180 --> 00:00:48,483
of multi-generational
sexploitative literature.
12
00:00:48,516 --> 00:00:49,717
Why the hell
13
00:00:49,751 --> 00:00:51,486
would you read me literature?
14
00:00:51,519 --> 00:00:53,421
You know I don't like
good things.
15
00:00:53,455 --> 00:00:56,224
Last night, you said that
I would never be successful.
16
00:00:56,258 --> 00:00:58,192
Well, I stayed up
all night
17
00:00:58,226 --> 00:01:02,397
and wrote 35 amazing pages
just to spite you.
18
00:01:02,430 --> 00:01:05,767
So, ha! Consider yourself
thoroughly spited.
19
00:01:05,800 --> 00:01:06,868
Ha!
20
00:01:06,901 --> 00:01:08,202
Cool.
21
00:01:08,236 --> 00:01:10,705
Okay, I take back
the thing I said.
22
00:01:10,738 --> 00:01:12,407
You will be successful.
23
00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:13,775
Thank you!
24
00:01:16,311 --> 00:01:17,912
Now it's your turn.
25
00:01:17,945 --> 00:01:20,114
I'm proud of me, too.
26
00:01:20,147 --> 00:01:22,284
No, Jimmy! It's your
turn to take back
27
00:01:22,317 --> 00:01:23,885
the mega-harsh thing
you said to me.
28
00:01:23,918 --> 00:01:26,120
And then, voilĂ , everything
goes back to Normal Town,
29
00:01:26,153 --> 00:01:28,590
et cetera, et cetera--
a little makeup boneage.
30
00:01:28,623 --> 00:01:30,592
Maybe some titty massages
for Jimmy.
31
00:01:31,959 --> 00:01:33,895
Wait, what exactly
am I meant to take back?
32
00:01:33,928 --> 00:01:36,030
"I can't see
myself having kids with her."
33
00:01:36,063 --> 00:01:37,131
Oh, that.
34
00:01:37,164 --> 00:01:39,200
No, I'm 100% sticking by that.
35
00:01:39,233 --> 00:01:41,369
Hey, can we do this
titty massage on the patio?
36
00:01:41,403 --> 00:01:43,471
I just want to keep an eye
on the hummingbird feeder.
37
00:01:43,505 --> 00:01:45,139
Jimmy!
You have dropped
38
00:01:45,172 --> 00:01:47,909
eight iPhones in the last year,
39
00:01:47,942 --> 00:01:50,478
one into a vat of ranch
at Souplantation.
40
00:01:50,512 --> 00:01:51,813
Child-rearing
41
00:01:51,846 --> 00:01:53,247
requires skill.
42
00:01:53,281 --> 00:01:54,982
It's not the same
as binge-watching
43
00:01:55,016 --> 00:01:56,584
a season of Exemplify.
44
00:01:56,618 --> 00:01:58,052
Oh, my God!
45
00:01:58,085 --> 00:02:01,389
That is so sexist
and mansplainy.
46
00:02:01,423 --> 00:02:03,625
You a Gamergater?
Am I living with a Gamergater?
47
00:02:03,658 --> 00:02:06,428
Quiet, already!
48
00:02:06,461 --> 00:02:07,762
Why is Lindsay here?
49
00:02:07,795 --> 00:02:09,931
She dumped Paul hard.
I said she could crash.
50
00:02:09,964 --> 00:02:11,666
Mmm...
51
00:02:11,699 --> 00:02:14,402
Oh, my...
52
00:02:14,436 --> 00:02:16,938
Ah...
53
00:02:18,005 --> 00:02:19,507
What?
54
00:02:19,541 --> 00:02:21,509
I'm supposed to wear pajamas
like an old?
55
00:02:23,144 --> 00:02:25,112
Mmm...
56
00:02:25,146 --> 00:02:27,982
*
57
00:02:30,051 --> 00:02:32,854
* I'm gonna leave you anyway
58
00:02:32,887 --> 00:02:35,623
* I'm gonna leave you
anyway *
59
00:02:35,657 --> 00:02:38,960
* Gonna leave you anyway.
60
00:02:43,831 --> 00:02:45,767
Wakey-wakey.
61
00:02:45,800 --> 00:02:47,535
I just wrapped up an
early-morning shift
62
00:02:47,569 --> 00:02:49,771
cleaning a frat house
after a "Colonial Bros
63
00:02:49,804 --> 00:02:51,305
and Nava-hos" party.
64
00:02:51,339 --> 00:02:52,707
Got the puke
cleaned up,
65
00:02:52,740 --> 00:02:54,141
but the racism
and cultural appropriation
66
00:02:54,175 --> 00:02:56,277
are gonna leave a stain.
Hey, I brought pastries.
67
00:02:56,310 --> 00:02:59,881
Okay, but do you want to talk
about last night?
68
00:02:59,914 --> 00:03:01,616
Oh, my God.
I was so drunk.
69
00:03:01,649 --> 00:03:03,851
I think I might have hit up
a Del Taco drive-through.
70
00:03:03,885 --> 00:03:06,821
I'm missing my side mirror, and
my fingers smell like hot sauce.
71
00:03:06,854 --> 00:03:08,856
Wait. You drove yourself home?
Sure.
72
00:03:08,890 --> 00:03:10,324
Drunk driving is easy.
73
00:03:10,358 --> 00:03:11,393
It's just like
playing a video game.
74
00:03:11,426 --> 00:03:14,128
You totally freaked out
on me last night.
75
00:03:14,161 --> 00:03:16,230
Well, you took me to a wedding,
and then you ditched me
76
00:03:16,263 --> 00:03:17,732
to work on sketch ideas.
77
00:03:17,765 --> 00:03:19,200
Who are you, Will Sasso?
78
00:03:19,233 --> 00:03:20,868
This is my first writing job.
79
00:03:20,902 --> 00:03:22,570
I didn't know anybody,
and you abandoned me.
80
00:03:22,604 --> 00:03:25,673
Yeah. Well, okay,
I can see how that...
81
00:03:25,707 --> 00:03:30,311
oh, was really sucky of me.
82
00:03:30,344 --> 00:03:33,014
It was. Thank you.
83
00:03:39,954 --> 00:03:42,390
You know,
I'm happy for you.
84
00:03:42,424 --> 00:03:44,258
I mean, shit,
I'm a liberal.
85
00:03:44,291 --> 00:03:45,760
God knows
I should applaud
86
00:03:45,793 --> 00:03:48,596
when an underrepresented
voice gets heard.
87
00:03:48,630 --> 00:03:50,965
You mean veterans?
88
00:03:52,434 --> 00:03:54,335
Yeah. That, too.
89
00:03:54,368 --> 00:03:55,870
Hey, you want a pastry?
90
00:03:55,903 --> 00:03:58,406
I-I just want to make sure
that you aren't implying
91
00:03:58,440 --> 00:04:01,242
that I was hired
just because I'm Latino.
92
00:04:01,275 --> 00:04:04,278
What? Of course not.
I don't even see race.
93
00:04:09,484 --> 00:04:10,952
Hey, when did they put
this awesome eagle
94
00:04:10,985 --> 00:04:12,720
on the Italian flag?
95
00:04:13,721 --> 00:04:15,723
*
96
00:04:31,072 --> 00:04:32,073
Paul?
97
00:04:33,274 --> 00:04:36,444
What you did was
unspeakable!
98
00:04:36,478 --> 00:04:38,613
Unconscionable!
99
00:04:38,646 --> 00:04:41,449
Indefensible!
Indedibble-dobble!
100
00:04:41,483 --> 00:04:43,317
How could you abort that baby
without telling me?
101
00:04:43,350 --> 00:04:45,953
It wasn't a baby, Paul.
It was just a bunch of cells.
102
00:04:45,987 --> 00:04:47,321
You destroyed our family!
103
00:04:47,354 --> 00:04:49,557
Name one family
that's just a bunch of cells.
104
00:04:49,591 --> 00:04:51,092
Osmosis Jones.
105
00:04:51,125 --> 00:04:53,327
Why does everyone
keep doing that?
106
00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:55,396
What made you think
you had the right
107
00:04:55,429 --> 00:04:57,098
to make that decision for us?
108
00:04:57,131 --> 00:04:58,633
My body, my choice.
109
00:04:58,666 --> 00:05:01,135
It's not that cut-and-dried
when you're married.
110
00:05:01,168 --> 00:05:02,436
My body, my choice.
111
00:05:02,470 --> 00:05:03,738
There's a difference between
112
00:05:03,771 --> 00:05:05,272
claiming your
reproductive rights
113
00:05:05,306 --> 00:05:06,641
and behaving like a complete...
114
00:05:06,674 --> 00:05:08,843
My body, my choice.
Stop saying that!
115
00:05:08,876 --> 00:05:10,244
No, Paul. You stop.
116
00:05:10,277 --> 00:05:11,312
Me and my sisters,
117
00:05:11,345 --> 00:05:13,014
we fought for this right
for millenniums.
118
00:05:13,047 --> 00:05:15,282
This is why Margaret Thatcher
went to prison.
119
00:05:16,183 --> 00:05:17,485
Can you please
put on some clothes
120
00:05:17,519 --> 00:05:18,686
while we have
this conversation?
121
00:05:18,720 --> 00:05:20,421
No, Paul. My body, my choice.
122
00:05:20,454 --> 00:05:21,956
And now,
123
00:05:21,989 --> 00:05:26,260
I choose to go outside
and smoke.
124
00:05:26,293 --> 00:05:30,031
Because it's my body.
125
00:05:34,035 --> 00:05:35,136
My choice.
126
00:05:35,169 --> 00:05:36,904
That's right, sucka.
127
00:05:47,915 --> 00:05:50,885
*
128
00:05:55,923 --> 00:05:58,793
Look, I meant it as
a good thing, okay? Yes,
129
00:05:58,826 --> 00:06:00,461
sometimes minorities
get jobs over white people,
130
00:06:00,494 --> 00:06:02,564
even when they're both
equally qualified,
131
00:06:02,597 --> 00:06:04,465
or maybe the minority is
slightly less qualified.
132
00:06:04,498 --> 00:06:06,333
But I think that
that is good for the world,
133
00:06:06,367 --> 00:06:09,203
and I simply got you
these cool and funky pastries
134
00:06:09,236 --> 00:06:10,805
'cause they're cool and funky,
135
00:06:10,838 --> 00:06:13,675
not because they're Latino,
or whatever.
136
00:06:13,708 --> 00:06:15,242
Here, try one.
They're "pan dulthes."
137
00:06:15,276 --> 00:06:17,979
Wait.
What are you saying?
138
00:06:18,012 --> 00:06:19,547
"Pan dulthes."
139
00:06:19,581 --> 00:06:21,415
Edgar, they're "pan dulthes."
140
00:06:22,550 --> 00:06:23,918
I pronounce everything
with a Castilian "S,"
141
00:06:23,951 --> 00:06:25,753
because I studied abroad
in "Barthelona."
142
00:06:25,787 --> 00:06:28,690
For you to say that I have
the advantage is insulting.
143
00:06:30,191 --> 00:06:33,394
I mean, if anyone has
the advantage, it's you.
144
00:06:34,762 --> 00:06:36,931
How do I have the advantage?
145
00:06:36,964 --> 00:06:39,033
You're a white girl.
146
00:06:39,066 --> 00:06:41,368
There's literally a part
for you in every script
147
00:06:41,402 --> 00:06:43,104
that's ever been written.
148
00:06:43,137 --> 00:06:44,939
Not Glengarry Glen Ross
or 700 Sundays.
149
00:06:44,972 --> 00:06:47,208
Besides, don't you read?
150
00:06:47,241 --> 00:06:48,710
People just, like,
they hate women now.
151
00:06:48,743 --> 00:06:50,377
You don't even have
to hide it anymore.
152
00:06:50,411 --> 00:06:51,779
Yeah, well, you never read,
153
00:06:51,813 --> 00:06:54,048
"Cut to funny brown guy
with perfect features."
154
00:06:54,916 --> 00:06:57,084
You have the advantage.
Yeah.
155
00:06:57,118 --> 00:06:58,285
Because it's such
an advantage to be
156
00:06:58,319 --> 00:06:59,621
constantly
sexually harassed.
157
00:06:59,654 --> 00:07:01,522
And it's so advantageous
to only be cast
158
00:07:01,555 --> 00:07:03,858
as "Pretty Girl Number 3"
or "Overworked Mom."
159
00:07:03,891 --> 00:07:05,727
I thought you didn't book
"Overworked Mom."
160
00:07:05,760 --> 00:07:08,429
And it's such an advantage to
be slut-shamed for six years
161
00:07:08,462 --> 00:07:10,765
because I accidentally sucked
Brian Dunkleman's dick
162
00:07:10,798 --> 00:07:12,533
'cause I thought
he was Chris Hardwick.
163
00:07:12,566 --> 00:07:14,268
Look, can we at
least agree that
164
00:07:14,301 --> 00:07:16,103
the true enemy here
is the white male?
165
00:07:16,137 --> 00:07:17,138
Whoa!
166
00:07:17,171 --> 00:07:19,473
Not me. I'm an immigrant.
167
00:07:19,506 --> 00:07:20,474
Our story
168
00:07:20,507 --> 00:07:22,209
is so tragic.
169
00:07:22,243 --> 00:07:25,479
Do you know how many of us
drown every day
170
00:07:25,512 --> 00:07:26,881
trying to get over here?
171
00:07:26,914 --> 00:07:30,251
And the true villain is
the white American male.
172
00:07:30,284 --> 00:07:33,821
Bad things happen
to white American men, too.
173
00:07:33,855 --> 00:07:35,957
Real bad things.
174
00:07:35,990 --> 00:07:39,426
You know, why don't I
let you white people
175
00:07:39,460 --> 00:07:42,329
tell me how bad you all have it.
176
00:07:42,997 --> 00:07:44,198
Jesus!
177
00:07:49,270 --> 00:07:51,172
Oh, look, wife.
178
00:07:51,205 --> 00:07:53,908
I'm about to rip
my lung tissue asunder
179
00:07:53,941 --> 00:07:55,442
with the devil's tobacco
180
00:07:55,476 --> 00:07:59,681
because my life has been
destroyed by the woman I love!
181
00:07:59,714 --> 00:08:01,983
Your body, your choice.
182
00:08:03,050 --> 00:08:04,652
You know, I almost left you.
183
00:08:04,686 --> 00:08:06,520
When Vernon and I were
184
00:08:06,553 --> 00:08:07,655
lost in the woods,
185
00:08:07,689 --> 00:08:09,691
he wanted to bail
and go live in Mexico.
186
00:08:09,724 --> 00:08:11,158
I should have gone
187
00:08:11,192 --> 00:08:12,860
and started my life anew,
188
00:08:12,894 --> 00:08:16,097
like John McAfee,
software millionaire!
189
00:08:16,130 --> 00:08:17,832
- Shoulda-woulda-coulda!
- Right.
190
00:08:17,865 --> 00:08:20,634
Can you two idiots
do this at your place?
191
00:08:20,668 --> 00:08:23,337
No! If you send them home,
her wishy-washy ass
192
00:08:23,370 --> 00:08:26,173
will be lured back into that
suck-butt marriage by lunch.
193
00:08:26,207 --> 00:08:27,541
Shut up, Gretchen!
194
00:08:27,574 --> 00:08:29,777
You shut up!
Aw, shit!
195
00:08:29,811 --> 00:08:32,546
Fine. Then just go
and fight in my room.
Our room.
196
00:08:32,579 --> 00:08:34,548
But don't touch anything,
don't sit,
197
00:08:34,581 --> 00:08:36,183
and hands off
the bed booze.
198
00:08:41,022 --> 00:08:43,891
*
199
00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:55,002
What?!
200
00:08:55,036 --> 00:08:57,504
Nothing. I just...
201
00:08:57,538 --> 00:09:00,207
Sometimes I look at you
and I think,
202
00:09:00,241 --> 00:09:03,177
"How did this person
get in my house?"
203
00:09:03,210 --> 00:09:04,979
It's like I've lost
the thread of a novel,
204
00:09:05,012 --> 00:09:06,647
and all of a sudden,
there's this
205
00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:08,482
messy short woman
206
00:09:08,515 --> 00:09:10,985
who's clearly important
to the story.
207
00:09:11,018 --> 00:09:13,187
So, I'm flipping back, thinking,
208
00:09:13,220 --> 00:09:16,190
"I don't remember that character
being introduced."
209
00:09:16,223 --> 00:09:18,826
Tell me about it! Some days
it's like I un-blacked out
210
00:09:18,860 --> 00:09:22,029
from a week-long bender, and
now I'm in this weird-ass house
211
00:09:22,063 --> 00:09:23,731
with sharp corners.
212
00:09:23,765 --> 00:09:26,934
My mate was supposed to be
so different.
213
00:09:26,968 --> 00:09:29,670
Classy, unbruised,
214
00:09:29,703 --> 00:09:31,205
a first-chair violinist
215
00:09:31,238 --> 00:09:33,107
for the Philharmonic.
216
00:09:33,140 --> 00:09:34,909
God, can you imagine it?
217
00:09:34,942 --> 00:09:36,610
Me in the wings
218
00:09:36,643 --> 00:09:38,045
of Disney Hall.
219
00:09:38,079 --> 00:09:40,614
And we wave good-bye
to the other musicians,
220
00:09:40,647 --> 00:09:42,216
and I joke about
221
00:09:42,249 --> 00:09:43,550
what a drag it must be
222
00:09:43,584 --> 00:09:46,954
for Igor to haul
that double bass home.
223
00:09:46,988 --> 00:09:49,056
And then Dudamel does
a champagne spit-take
224
00:09:49,090 --> 00:09:51,092
and shakes his head at me like,
225
00:09:51,125 --> 00:09:54,061
"Oh, Jimmy, you are too much."
226
00:09:54,095 --> 00:09:55,897
How am I not
227
00:09:55,930 --> 00:09:59,801
arm candy for some international
movie star with a giant dong?
228
00:09:59,834 --> 00:10:01,302
Yeah.
He's part owner of
229
00:10:01,335 --> 00:10:02,904
a cool tech company
230
00:10:02,937 --> 00:10:05,639
and invents apps when he's not
dick-punching Peter Sarsgaard
231
00:10:05,672 --> 00:10:07,408
in his latest movie.
Sometimes,
232
00:10:07,441 --> 00:10:10,978
we talk about adopting a kid
from a third-world country,
233
00:10:11,012 --> 00:10:12,513
but we never do it.
234
00:10:13,414 --> 00:10:15,316
And we live in
a legit-ass castle
235
00:10:15,349 --> 00:10:18,219
in Malibu with one of those
big modern art pieces
236
00:10:18,252 --> 00:10:20,922
by the guy who does
the big dots.
237
00:10:20,955 --> 00:10:22,089
What? Lichtenstein?
238
00:10:22,123 --> 00:10:24,591
Yeah. A big old Lichtenstein.
Wow.
239
00:10:24,625 --> 00:10:28,095
How very sophomore year
art history of you.
240
00:10:28,129 --> 00:10:31,065
You definitely shouldn't
decorate your own house.
241
00:10:41,775 --> 00:10:44,478
Knock, knock.
242
00:10:44,511 --> 00:10:47,481
White lady visiting from
the Aryan zone. You still mad?
243
00:10:47,514 --> 00:10:50,117
Maybe you only like me
when I'm struggling.
244
00:10:52,987 --> 00:10:55,256
You think that I want you
to struggle?
Think about it.
245
00:10:55,289 --> 00:10:58,192
When we first met,
I was your insecure student.
246
00:10:58,225 --> 00:11:01,028
Then I was your vet boyfriend
with PTSD.
247
00:11:01,062 --> 00:11:03,464
Then I was a stoner
with no future.
248
00:11:03,497 --> 00:11:06,633
But the second I get
a tiny bit of success,
249
00:11:06,667 --> 00:11:08,202
you freak out.
250
00:11:08,235 --> 00:11:12,306
You forced me to engage
in acts of sexual deviance.
251
00:11:12,339 --> 00:11:13,941
But you started this!
252
00:11:13,975 --> 00:11:17,144
You threw your bike
onto the street,
253
00:11:17,178 --> 00:11:19,713
and said we were new people,
and I put on
254
00:11:19,746 --> 00:11:21,983
that whole Napron-wearing,
good wifey act,
255
00:11:22,016 --> 00:11:24,185
even though I was dying
on the inside.
256
00:11:24,218 --> 00:11:26,954
You went along with
it for 20 minutes.
257
00:11:26,988 --> 00:11:28,355
And then you stabbed me!
258
00:11:28,389 --> 00:11:30,491
You want me to hide my bees
under a bushel.
259
00:11:30,524 --> 00:11:32,793
You use your niceness
to stifle me,
260
00:11:32,826 --> 00:11:34,795
and then you make me
feel guilty.
261
00:11:34,828 --> 00:11:36,130
You stabbed me!
262
00:11:36,163 --> 00:11:37,731
We both did things we regret.
263
00:11:37,764 --> 00:11:39,733
Relationships are messy.
264
00:11:39,766 --> 00:11:42,503
You're actually tearing apart
my hypothetical fantasy.
265
00:11:42,536 --> 00:11:43,905
Now you want to tell me
266
00:11:43,938 --> 00:11:46,040
what I can and can't imagine?
267
00:11:46,073 --> 00:11:48,075
You admitted that
you don't like good things.
268
00:11:48,109 --> 00:11:49,710
I'm just confirming that.
269
00:11:49,743 --> 00:11:51,712
You should seriously shut up
270
00:11:51,745 --> 00:11:54,181
sometimes, Jimmy.
Just shut all the way up.
271
00:11:54,215 --> 00:11:57,885
I mean, what if I did
make something of myself? Hmm?
272
00:11:57,919 --> 00:11:59,186
If I did
273
00:11:59,220 --> 00:12:02,756
rise up there
to your level, why?
274
00:12:02,789 --> 00:12:04,658
Why would that be so bad?!
275
00:12:04,691 --> 00:12:08,329
Because I am not up there!
276
00:12:08,362 --> 00:12:09,396
Okay?
277
00:12:09,430 --> 00:12:10,764
I am down!
278
00:12:10,797 --> 00:12:13,700
I am the downest
that I have ever been.
279
00:12:13,734 --> 00:12:15,236
You want messy?!
280
00:12:15,269 --> 00:12:17,704
I'll show you messy!
281
00:12:20,741 --> 00:12:22,276
Oh, no, Paul!
282
00:12:22,309 --> 00:12:23,744
Now you're going
to have bad luck.
283
00:12:23,777 --> 00:12:26,380
I have bad luck!
284
00:12:26,413 --> 00:12:28,349
You're my bad luck!
285
00:12:28,382 --> 00:12:30,851
God! You're so selfish.
286
00:12:30,884 --> 00:12:34,288
There is something
seriously wrong with you.
287
00:12:34,321 --> 00:12:36,790
Why did I marry you?
288
00:12:36,823 --> 00:12:37,959
Why?!
289
00:12:39,726 --> 00:12:41,562
Look, if your fantasy
is so fragile...
Picking, pick, pick.
290
00:12:41,595 --> 00:12:43,397
...that I'm able
to dismantle it...
Pick at everything I say and do.
291
00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:45,432
...then maybe it wasn't
so great to begin with.
I'm sick of living
292
00:12:45,466 --> 00:12:47,101
underneath your highfalutin
surveillance state.
293
00:12:47,134 --> 00:12:48,569
Plus, "hypothetical fantasy"
is redundant.
294
00:12:48,602 --> 00:12:49,803
I just silenced
the judgy mom voice in my head.
295
00:12:49,836 --> 00:12:51,705
I don't need another one
from you.
296
00:12:51,738 --> 00:12:53,574
Stop using your big voice at me!
297
00:12:53,607 --> 00:12:55,542
Don't hug me.
Just let me be sad!
298
00:12:55,576 --> 00:12:59,446
I'll use my big voice
at you whenever I want!
299
00:12:59,480 --> 00:13:02,616
I'm only using my big voice
with you now!
300
00:13:15,529 --> 00:13:17,531
You... Come on.
301
00:13:19,833 --> 00:13:21,435
You had a rough month.
302
00:13:23,004 --> 00:13:24,405
You'll bounce back.
303
00:13:24,438 --> 00:13:26,473
I'm a 30-something
failed actress
304
00:13:26,507 --> 00:13:30,777
living in a disgusting
K-Town studio.
305
00:13:30,811 --> 00:13:33,347
I haven't been
to the dentist in years.
306
00:13:33,380 --> 00:13:35,682
My agent told me
to gain 20 pounds
307
00:13:35,716 --> 00:13:38,352
so that I could at least
audition to be the kooky aunt.
308
00:13:41,522 --> 00:13:43,524
Oh, God!
309
00:13:48,895 --> 00:13:51,498
Oh, God. You ruined my life!
310
00:13:51,532 --> 00:13:54,435
Why?! Why did you do it?!
311
00:13:54,468 --> 00:13:56,470
Paul.
312
00:13:56,503 --> 00:13:58,339
Look at me.
313
00:13:58,372 --> 00:14:01,275
Paul.
314
00:14:01,308 --> 00:14:04,978
You knew it was a snake
when you picked it up.
315
00:14:06,213 --> 00:14:07,948
What?
316
00:14:07,981 --> 00:14:10,151
You knew who I was.
317
00:14:11,552 --> 00:14:14,388
You don't get
to act surprised now.
318
00:14:14,421 --> 00:14:16,423
*
319
00:14:31,538 --> 00:14:34,508
Becca and Vernon had their baby.
320
00:14:34,541 --> 00:14:36,943
It's a girl.
321
00:14:39,246 --> 00:14:40,881
Tallulah.
322
00:14:41,915 --> 00:14:44,017
Ew.
323
00:14:47,020 --> 00:14:48,955
Becca had her baby.
324
00:15:00,901 --> 00:15:04,071
Dorothy's crying.
It's very mucous-y.
325
00:15:04,105 --> 00:15:07,040
Lindsay's just reciting the
spoken word parts of "Lemonade."
326
00:15:08,442 --> 00:15:10,244
Such idiots.
327
00:15:10,277 --> 00:15:12,746
We're no better
than them.
328
00:15:12,779 --> 00:15:14,615
Oh, speak for yourself.
329
00:15:14,648 --> 00:15:16,617
I'm not the one
who flung my sandwich
330
00:15:16,650 --> 00:15:19,086
like a upset chimp at the zoo.
331
00:15:19,120 --> 00:15:21,088
I threw it because
I realized I was living
332
00:15:21,122 --> 00:15:22,623
with an uptight dildo
333
00:15:22,656 --> 00:15:24,358
whose personality
unmakes itself
334
00:15:24,391 --> 00:15:26,227
anytime something bad happens.
335
00:15:26,260 --> 00:15:30,297
Says the woman who spent weeks
catatonic on the couch
336
00:15:30,331 --> 00:15:32,133
in crusty yoga pants.
337
00:15:32,166 --> 00:15:34,901
I have a clinical
goddamn illness!
Oh, right.
338
00:15:34,935 --> 00:15:38,739
So you just win because your
condition is listed in the DSM?
339
00:15:38,772 --> 00:15:41,275
No! I win because I am
doing something about it.
340
00:15:41,308 --> 00:15:43,043
You're just lashing out
341
00:15:43,076 --> 00:15:44,445
and putting me
under a microscope!
342
00:15:44,478 --> 00:15:46,280
It just happened!
343
00:15:47,414 --> 00:15:49,116
He just died.
344
00:15:49,150 --> 00:15:51,084
Right, I am still grieving,
Gretchen.
345
00:15:51,118 --> 00:15:52,253
Jesus Christ!
346
00:15:52,286 --> 00:15:54,155
But I was there first!
Where?!
347
00:15:54,188 --> 00:15:56,157
Here! In shit, miserable!
348
00:15:56,190 --> 00:15:58,559
There just isn't room
349
00:15:58,592 --> 00:16:01,628
for you to be broken
right now, too.
350
00:16:01,662 --> 00:16:04,165
Oh, that...
351
00:16:04,198 --> 00:16:05,932
that is complete...
352
00:16:10,036 --> 00:16:11,472
How is that okay?
353
00:16:11,505 --> 00:16:12,673
It's not.
354
00:16:12,706 --> 00:16:15,142
It is completely unfair.
355
00:16:15,176 --> 00:16:17,644
No. This is not supposed to...
356
00:16:17,678 --> 00:16:20,581
One person is supposed to be
in the hospital bed.
357
00:16:20,614 --> 00:16:23,317
And then the other uncomfortably
sleeping on that little couch,
358
00:16:23,350 --> 00:16:25,252
just sneaking home
to shower and...
359
00:16:25,286 --> 00:16:26,820
and walk the dog.
360
00:16:26,853 --> 00:16:28,355
Right?
361
00:16:28,389 --> 00:16:31,958
Right, Jimmy.
362
00:16:31,992 --> 00:16:33,059
And yet...
363
00:16:46,340 --> 00:16:49,710
I said don't touch anything!
364
00:16:49,743 --> 00:16:51,712
I knew it was a snake.
365
00:16:51,745 --> 00:16:53,046
Get out!
366
00:17:01,522 --> 00:17:03,690
You told me
we could leave any time.
367
00:17:03,724 --> 00:17:05,692
Right.
So why didn't you?
368
00:17:05,726 --> 00:17:07,628
I've been mean.
I have been angry.
369
00:17:07,661 --> 00:17:09,530
I've been judging you.
370
00:17:09,563 --> 00:17:12,032
Which was our one promise,
from the beginning.
371
00:17:12,065 --> 00:17:13,734
If you were serious
about leaving,
372
00:17:13,767 --> 00:17:15,236
then you would have gone by now.
373
00:17:15,269 --> 00:17:17,037
You didn't
leave, either.
I know.
374
00:17:17,070 --> 00:17:18,038
I don't know why.
375
00:17:18,071 --> 00:17:21,074
I think this may be impossible.
376
00:17:30,050 --> 00:17:33,554
But can't that be okay?
377
00:17:33,587 --> 00:17:39,192
I mean, the-the vast majority
of all human effort,
378
00:17:39,226 --> 00:17:42,563
however great or miniscule,
ends in failure.
379
00:17:42,596 --> 00:17:44,565
So, what are your options?
380
00:17:45,932 --> 00:17:48,369
You just ad-admit pre-defeat
381
00:17:48,402 --> 00:17:51,272
because the odds are
that you're gonna be right?
382
00:17:51,305 --> 00:17:53,474
Or you do it anyway?
383
00:18:00,714 --> 00:18:02,115
Maybe we're a success...
384
00:18:03,617 --> 00:18:05,185
...regardless of the outcome,
385
00:18:05,218 --> 00:18:08,322
because... we tried.
386
00:18:10,324 --> 00:18:12,225
Maybe there's beauty
in the struggle
387
00:18:12,259 --> 00:18:14,395
against near certain failure.
388
00:18:14,428 --> 00:18:15,596
Is that enough?
389
00:18:15,629 --> 00:18:17,398
A beautiful struggle?
390
00:18:17,431 --> 00:18:19,400
Maybe.
It's all gonna
suck one day,
391
00:18:19,433 --> 00:18:21,435
so enjoy it now,
stop rocking the boat,
392
00:18:21,468 --> 00:18:23,470
and that is goddamn it?!
393
00:18:31,011 --> 00:18:32,613
It's like in my book.
394
00:18:32,646 --> 00:18:34,315
Ugh, no more book.
395
00:18:34,348 --> 00:18:35,482
Gretchen tired.
396
00:18:35,516 --> 00:18:36,817
In chapter 12,
397
00:18:36,850 --> 00:18:38,652
Kitty is headed to Lisbon
398
00:18:38,685 --> 00:18:40,120
to follow Take That on tour,
399
00:18:40,153 --> 00:18:42,889
but instead
she stays with Simon,
400
00:18:42,923 --> 00:18:46,427
though they have
no possible future.
401
00:18:46,460 --> 00:18:48,429
Oh, my God!
That's makes perfect sense.
402
00:18:48,462 --> 00:18:50,764
That's why they
stay together.
403
00:18:50,797 --> 00:18:52,766
They are mirrors of you and I.
404
00:18:52,799 --> 00:18:54,668
Theirs is
a love forbidden,
405
00:18:54,701 --> 00:18:57,404
thus... doomed.
406
00:18:57,438 --> 00:18:58,472
Why is it forbidden?
407
00:18:58,505 --> 00:18:59,940
Well, because
they're half-siblings.
408
00:18:59,973 --> 00:19:00,941
Wait, what?!
409
00:19:00,974 --> 00:19:02,142
Jimmy, we talking incest?
410
00:19:02,175 --> 00:19:03,810
How did you miss that?
411
00:19:03,844 --> 00:19:05,011
I wasn't listening that good.
412
00:19:05,045 --> 00:19:06,447
Look, when I came up
with this story,
413
00:19:06,480 --> 00:19:08,315
I was, I was falling in love
with you...
414
00:19:08,349 --> 00:19:09,783
e-even though it was,
415
00:19:09,816 --> 00:19:11,785
it was scary and-and wrong.
416
00:19:11,818 --> 00:19:14,655
I thought that
I was avoiding my feelings
417
00:19:14,688 --> 00:19:16,690
by writing my book,
but it was you
418
00:19:16,723 --> 00:19:18,525
who was fueling me
419
00:19:18,559 --> 00:19:19,793
this whole time.
420
00:19:19,826 --> 00:19:22,863
Fueling you to write
about a couple of horny sibs?
421
00:19:22,896 --> 00:19:24,197
Give me.
422
00:19:27,233 --> 00:19:29,135
Show me the part
you cranked out last night
423
00:19:29,169 --> 00:19:30,303
when you were all upset.
424
00:19:30,337 --> 00:19:31,805
Oh, no way.
425
00:19:31,838 --> 00:19:34,975
If you're experiencing
the sweeping psychodrama
426
00:19:35,008 --> 00:19:36,877
of The Width of a Peach,
427
00:19:36,910 --> 00:19:38,144
you're starting
at the beginning.
428
00:19:39,746 --> 00:19:41,047
Chapter one.
429
00:19:41,081 --> 00:19:43,049
"A deep, orgasmic moaning
430
00:19:43,083 --> 00:19:45,652
"came from behind
the undersized attic door,
431
00:19:45,686 --> 00:19:47,053
"while far above,
432
00:19:47,087 --> 00:19:49,723
"a German Sprengbombe
Cylindrisch 1000
433
00:19:49,756 --> 00:19:52,192
"was falling towards
Catherine Wheel Alley,
434
00:19:52,225 --> 00:19:56,196
City of London,
Post Code EC2N4RQ."
435
00:19:56,229 --> 00:19:57,564
Why do we need
the post...
436
00:19:57,598 --> 00:19:59,966
Good writing is detailed.
437
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:01,735
Shh.
438
00:20:03,269 --> 00:20:07,007
Oh, I've been so
jealous and awful.
439
00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:08,675
I've been trying to get a job
for so long,
440
00:20:08,709 --> 00:20:10,343
and then when it happened
for you so quickly,
441
00:20:10,377 --> 00:20:12,312
I just... couldn't handle it.
442
00:20:12,345 --> 00:20:13,714
Hey...
443
00:20:13,747 --> 00:20:17,050
I was so intimidated by you
in our first class.
444
00:20:17,083 --> 00:20:20,454
You did the whole intro
in that fake Norwegian accent.
445
00:20:21,522 --> 00:20:23,223
My insecure vampire character.
446
00:20:23,256 --> 00:20:24,190
Mm-hmm.
447
00:20:24,224 --> 00:20:25,358
"Velcome to class.
448
00:20:25,392 --> 00:20:26,827
"I vant to suck your blood...
449
00:20:26,860 --> 00:20:28,429
"because I suck.
450
00:20:28,462 --> 00:20:31,698
Does this cape
make my fangs look fat?"
451
00:20:34,701 --> 00:20:36,202
God, I was funny, huh?
452
00:20:36,236 --> 00:20:38,071
You still are.
453
00:20:41,975 --> 00:20:43,410
I'll be right back.
454
00:20:45,546 --> 00:20:47,948
Edgar. Doug Benson,
DB Industries.
455
00:20:47,981 --> 00:20:49,750
Listen,
I love your sketch ideas.
456
00:20:49,783 --> 00:20:51,184
Still chuckling over
"Lying Lawyer
457
00:20:51,217 --> 00:20:52,853
is a Liar."
I'm putting together
458
00:20:52,886 --> 00:20:54,855
a writers' room for three months
and I need
459
00:20:54,888 --> 00:20:56,222
you in it, starting Monday.
460
00:20:56,256 --> 00:20:58,425
Uh, y-yes.
461
00:20:58,459 --> 00:21:00,126
Y-Yes, Mr. Benson, of course.
462
00:21:00,160 --> 00:21:01,227
Okay, I got to go.
463
00:21:01,261 --> 00:21:02,563
I'm eating sushi
464
00:21:02,596 --> 00:21:03,930
off this Israeli model's
naked bod
465
00:21:03,964 --> 00:21:05,566
and the toro is getting warm.
466
00:21:07,167 --> 00:21:08,168
Oh.
467
00:21:10,103 --> 00:21:11,572
Say hi, Tova.
468
00:21:13,239 --> 00:21:15,041
Hmm.
Who was that?
469
00:21:15,075 --> 00:21:17,277
Uh...
470
00:21:17,310 --> 00:21:18,445
my job.
471
00:21:18,479 --> 00:21:19,880
I-I have to go in Monday,
472
00:21:19,913 --> 00:21:21,247
uh, to the gym.
473
00:21:21,281 --> 00:21:23,316
Uh, someone
knocked a door
474
00:21:23,349 --> 00:21:25,385
off of the shower stall...
475
00:21:25,418 --> 00:21:27,554
in the men's locker room.
Colby and Travis?
476
00:21:27,588 --> 00:21:29,956
We'll never know.
477
00:21:29,990 --> 00:21:31,592
But, yeah, obviously.
478
00:21:37,197 --> 00:21:38,632
Yes.
479
00:21:47,941 --> 00:21:50,076
You thought you could master me.
480
00:21:50,110 --> 00:21:52,846
But I'm a person, Paul.
481
00:21:52,879 --> 00:21:54,615
I'm not one of your hobbies.
482
00:21:54,648 --> 00:21:55,916
You're right.
483
00:21:55,949 --> 00:21:59,319
I wanted a family so badly,
I was willing to look past
484
00:21:59,352 --> 00:22:02,689
the septendecillion pieces
of evidence that screamed,
485
00:22:02,723 --> 00:22:04,858
"We are wrong
for each other."
486
00:22:04,891 --> 00:22:07,828
Think you can stay here
a little bit longer?
487
00:22:07,861 --> 00:22:09,863
Just until we get
our affairs in order?
488
00:22:09,896 --> 00:22:11,732
Of course.
489
00:22:16,336 --> 00:22:18,539
I guess... in the end,
490
00:22:18,572 --> 00:22:21,542
we were just two stars
born light-years apart.
491
00:22:21,575 --> 00:22:22,943
You need to find someone
492
00:22:22,976 --> 00:22:24,711
in your own constellation,
Lindsay.
493
00:22:24,745 --> 00:22:27,347
Oh, Bear.
494
00:22:27,380 --> 00:22:29,382
Mm.
495
00:22:32,418 --> 00:22:35,388
So you'll throw away
the prenup?
496
00:22:38,058 --> 00:22:40,026
You stabbed me.
497
00:22:40,060 --> 00:22:43,396
You cuckolded me.
498
00:22:43,429 --> 00:22:46,232
You ruined my life.
499
00:22:50,403 --> 00:22:52,172
Better lawyer up, bitch.
500
00:23:09,856 --> 00:23:12,358
"Simon watched
the man exit the motel,
501
00:23:12,392 --> 00:23:14,527
"and they were alone again.
502
00:23:14,561 --> 00:23:16,362
"He, gazing at her,
503
00:23:16,396 --> 00:23:18,832
"she, staring at
her own reflection.
504
00:23:18,865 --> 00:23:21,768
"Both of them were watching
the same thing,
505
00:23:21,802 --> 00:23:24,571
the tears filling Kitty's eyes."
506
00:23:27,908 --> 00:23:30,043
Dude, keep going!
507
00:23:30,076 --> 00:23:32,913
I need to know what happens
with Kitty and Simon and Bug.
508
00:23:32,946 --> 00:23:34,615
I'm so worried about Bug.
509
00:23:34,648 --> 00:23:35,749
Well, that's all I wrote.
510
00:23:35,782 --> 00:23:37,584
Well, go finish it.
511
00:23:37,618 --> 00:23:38,952
You know how it ends, right?
512
00:23:38,985 --> 00:23:41,087
I do now.
513
00:23:42,122 --> 00:23:44,725
But first...
514
00:23:44,758 --> 00:23:46,860
I need to rest my eyes.
515
00:23:46,893 --> 00:23:49,562
I've been up for two days.
516
00:23:50,597 --> 00:23:52,599
Come here.
517
00:23:59,472 --> 00:24:01,808
*
518
00:24:01,842 --> 00:24:04,177
We didn't solve anything.
519
00:24:06,446 --> 00:24:08,448
I know.
520
00:24:09,783 --> 00:24:11,785
Okay.
521
00:24:13,353 --> 00:24:16,589
* This year,
I'll spend November *
522
00:24:16,623 --> 00:24:19,559
* In the house
523
00:24:19,592 --> 00:24:22,062
* August sort of stifled...
524
00:24:22,095 --> 00:24:24,097
Shit.
525
00:24:24,130 --> 00:24:25,498
That's nine.
526
00:24:26,532 --> 00:24:28,268
* It's coyness, boy
527
00:24:28,301 --> 00:24:31,604
* That caught you out
528
00:24:31,638 --> 00:24:37,143
* I know you wish for fireworks
to light your July sky *
529
00:24:37,177 --> 00:24:40,480
* I was the dampest
box of matches *
530
00:24:40,513 --> 00:24:43,249
* You could ever hope to find
531
00:24:43,283 --> 00:24:45,986
* I'm sorry, what?
I hear you, yeah *
532
00:24:46,019 --> 00:24:47,921
* I was watching
the skin peeling *
533
00:24:47,954 --> 00:24:50,523
* Off your sunburnt shoulders,
I know *
534
00:24:50,556 --> 00:24:52,993
* I know you only melt
in the middle *
535
00:24:53,026 --> 00:24:54,527
* Like ice cream and sunscreen
536
00:24:54,560 --> 00:24:57,664
* Blisters in the pit
of my heart. *
537
00:25:03,670 --> 00:25:06,673
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
37510
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof