All language subtitles for RuPauls.Drag.Race.All.Stars.S04E09.WOWBRip.1080p-WEBRip-eng

[RuPaul] Previously
on All Stars...

For this week's maxi challenge,

you'll be making over
your Best Judy.

[screaming]

Family resemblance required.

[cheering]

[Manila] It's my husband.

[gasps] I love it.

Oh! No, it's good.

Everything you've brought
so far has been so elaborate,

and this is just
a little costume shop for me.

You know, Latrice,
there's a disconnect

with family resemblance.

That is two different looks.
It really is.

Monét X Change...

Naomi Smalls...
Con-drag-ulations.

You are the top two
All Stars of the week.

The Best Judys
find themselves in the bottom.

[Latrice] I love Manila,

But if it comes down to--

I'm not about
to sacrifice myself

and say, oh, let me go home.
You stay.

Girl, please.

This is Manila's first time
in the bottom two.

[Naomi] Seriously,
I love you so much

and I look up to you so much.

Naomi Smalls,

which queen have you chosen
to get the chop?

Manila.

Oh!

Manila Luzon, sashay away.

Oh, my God.

Oh, we love and miss
Manila already.

"Driver, kill it.
See you out there."

Manila.

Manila just went home, girl.
The choppery.

She had three wins
under belt. Chopped.

That is a gag. Ha!

The goop.

And I'm living for it.

Tens across the board. Tens.

That was wild.

-It was. It was a bitch.
-[Monique] The goop.

I feel guilty,

'cause she was like
in the bottom.

That was her first time ever
in the bottom,

so that must be a gag feeling,
but...

Why don't you erase this
and we can talk about it.

-Got it.
-Yeah, quickly.

Clearly this is
your first time, honey.

I'm a rookie.

Lean into it.
There you go.

Aah!

I have been giving my all
this entire time,

and it feels good
to finally prove I am a threat

and I can do more
than turn a look.

I am such a good performer.

Honestly, I really am.

-Okay, I just got
to just get it all out.

-Just get it out.
-Get it out, bitch.

First of all,
I am like--I'm gagged

-that Manila is gone.
-[Monique] The goopery.

Like I was like this bitch

was her first time
in the bottom,

and she'd won
the most challenges.

The goop.
No, bitch, we were...

[Monét laughs]

Manila deserves to be
in the competition,

like so far to the end.

According to her track record.

Her track record.

Girl, I'm just gagged.

I definitely think
that up until now

the eliminations
have been pretty fair.

But now it's all out the window.

I mean, girl, Manila
just got ran over, bitch.

I just gotta get comfortable.

[Naomi] Let's get serious.

Okay, shady princess.

Like what was your reasoning?

[Naomi] I think
a lot of different reasons.

Yes, Manila has been doing
so well in the competition,

but I don't know if she
necessarily had my back.

I sent Manila home
because..

I wanted to.

Manila was crazy competition,

and that's dope, but...

I decided to save Latrice
'cause I owe it to her.

She saved my ass last week.

If it looks shady, so be it.

I have a close relationship
with you, so I chose you.

Thank you so much.

Thank you so much.
I love you, too.

How do you feel
about Manila going home

when she was a wreck
because she couldn't save you?

And, bitch, we mean a wreck.
She was sobbing.

Girl.

Sashay away.

Thank y'all.

[applause]

[sobs]

I mean, like...

You wanna win, bitch.
Fuck that. Say it.

-No, I--
-Say that.

But I really, really
saw her here with me

through to the end,
you know what I mean?

It comes down
to someone has to go,

and if it's me or her,
like, you know,

of course I want to stay.

My love has never wavered
for her.

I just--
We can't have it both ways.

I want to know
who Monét picked.

Yes, bitch. It's tax season.
Show the receipts.

I chose Manila's ass, too.

[all laugh and scream]

Wow!

Manila shaded me.

[Manila] I'm sorry, girl.

And even though we had resolved
it and we spoke,

bitch, I'm a petty bitch
from Brooklyn.

I hold onto grudges.

-Damn! Damn!
-[Monique] #TeamPettyBitch.

[Monét] I'm petty, girl.

Manila played a shady game,
and it got her out, girl.

Like, she was willing to
send me home to save her friend.

so I am not hesitant to
show these girls this lipstick.

I wish I would have
done it onstage.

I would not have given
a backstory.

No explanation.
Just my lipstick.

[Trinity] Look, hold up. Okay.

I'm just...I'm just like
all kinds of everywhere.

I think that
you are living for this.

She's living for it.
She's living for it.

-Okay, no. No, listen.
-[Monét] She loves the drama.

This is shady.

This is some shade--
No, listen.

Let me finish what I'm saying.

You are a fucking shady bitch
for doing that.

Why?

And you're a fucking
shady bitch for doing that.

But thank you so much.
[all laugh]

I think we're realizing
that this competition now

we're not going to be
judging it fairly.

Because what's fair?

Right.

-Life's not fair.
-[Monét] Life's not fair.

Get used to it.

So, bitch, good luck
and you, you cross me,

you going home next.

I'm nervous. I'm nervous.

Manila went home
because she was competition.

And at this point,
I am tied with Monét

for the most wins
in the competition.

So, girl, I might be next
on the chopping block.

Stunning!

Wakeesha, carry your ass
to the grocery store

and get me some tampons!

I don't trust
none of these ho's.

I mean, they sent Manila home.

No one is safe.

So the only way to be safe
is to be in the top.

♪ RuPaul's Drag Race ♪

[RuPaul] The winner of
RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars

receives a one-year supply

of Anastasia Beverly Hills
cosmetics,

a coveted spot
in the Drag Race Hall of Fame,

and a cash prize of $100.000.

With extra-special guest judges
Felicity Huffman

and Jason Wu.

♪ RuPaul's Drag Race ♪

♪ May the best woman ♪

♪ Best woman win ♪

♪ She's a superstar ♪

Yay.
[hums]

[clapping]
♪ Oh ♪

♪ Superstar ♪

[Naomi] It's a new day
in the workroom,

and we are finally,
fucking finally at the top five.

It feels so good.

Girl, we are at the final,
like, the ending, girl.

Like we're coming up
on the finish line.

Finish line, henny.

This is the top five
I had envisioned.

I prayed, and I said, Jesus,

I want a highly
melanin-ated top.

And you know,
she's had black in her, so...

[all laugh]

Yeah, Trinity,
what's it like to be white?

[all laugh]

[alarm]

[RuPaul] Ooh, girl.

She done already
done had herses.

Ladies.
At brunch with friends,

funny how quickly
the conversation turns to sex,

maple bacon, and shequels.

Still, I couldn't help
but wonder,

who are these queens,

and what the hell
they doing up in my movie?

[all laugh]

-Hello, hello, hello.
-Hi.

Ladies, look at
my top five All Stars.

[cheers and applause]

Now, today,
we're paying tribute

to a true pop culture
phenomenon,

an iconic TV and film series

that is beloved by girls
and gays around the globe.

-Drag Race?
-[laughs]

[RuPaul]
For this week's maxi challenge,

you'll be over-acting
in a Ru Hollywood story

about a movie shequel

we're calling
Sex and the Kitty, Girl 3.

-[laughter and applause]
-[Trinity] Oh, yes!

-Sickening!
-Meow.

Yes, henny.
#AllStars4.

Starring
in a dishy mockumentary

that includes both
shady behind-the-scenes drama

and scripted movie scenes,

you'll each parody
one of the shequel stars.

Now, there's SJP,

who plays the fashion-crazed
New York City columnist.

There's Kristen, who plays
her prissy, art-dealer friend.

Cynthia, who plays the sassy,
cynical lawyer.

And then there's Kim,

who plays
the over-sexed publicist.

And then there's K-Jo,
who's back to reprise her role

as the eighties party girl
who fell out of the window.

Splat.

[all laugh]

Now, to help you get
into character,

you can use hair
by Rock Star Wigs.

Now, you'll all get
a copy of the script,

but Naomi, since you were
last week's top All Star,

you get to assign the roles.

♪ Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun ♪

[hiss]

We are just one week away

from the grand finale
of All Stars 4.

So keep calm and carry on.

-[Monét laughs]
-Yes.

[RuPaul] Oh,
and while you're at it,

start your engines,
and may the best All Star win.

[cheers and laughter]

[Naomi] ♪ Hey, kitty girl ♪

♪ It's your sex ♪

Sex and the City
acting moment, girl.

Sex and the Kitty,
Girl.

[Naomi] I love
Sex and the City.

I've seen every episode
five times over.

I'm always quoting it
with all my friends.

I put a bird on my head.

He couldn't even
get out the car.

Are you guys ready
to go through the script?

-[Latrice] Sure.
-[Trinity] Yeah.

Let's do it.

K-Jo, who's she?

Now, I really don't know
a whole lot about the show,

but I surely know that she
was not one of the main four.

She's the friend
that came in as a mess.

-She's an old party girl.
[Naomi] Yeah.

I was still living at home
with my mom then.

No, we didn't have cable.

She didn't want me watching HBO

'cause she didn't want me
to look at naked women.

Maybe a boob or two
would have helped me, you know.

I'm excited.

I'll choose
Sarah Jessica Parker, SJP.

Uh-uh.

[Naomi] I'm gonna take
the biggest part for myself,

because at this point
in the competition,

everyone here is trying to win
just like me.

Then I'm trying to show
the judges that I am here,

I am present, I deserve a crown.

So I have to play it to win.

I wanna be K-Jo.

-I would love Kim.
-I would love Kim, as well.

Is there a reason why
one of you guys would love Kim?

I just feel like I--

'Cause I'm the older,
slutty, sexy one.

I don't know much
about Sex and the City,

but I really want Kim
because I relate to the role.

Kim is a cougar.

She's still sleeping
with everybody.

That is me in...

30 years, bitch.

I want Kim.

[Trinity] Girl, me, too.

I feel like I can be
very slutty as well,

and also, I just feel like
my voice lends itself to Kim.

I feel like
that's what's calling me.

Yeah, she does
kind of sound, you know...

-[Monét] Right.
-Mannish.

Very.

I love Sex and the City.

It's one of
my favorite shows to watch.

And I know I can do
a better Kim than Trinity.

Her pacing and the way
she speaks, you know,

it's very mm, oh, hmm, oh.

You're comfortable playing
anybody else?

No, I'm comfortable
playing Kim.

[laughs]

We could flip a coin.

Rock, scissor, paper.

[Latrice] It's a challenge.

Rock, paper, scissors?

Yeah, rock, paper,
scissors over this.

Girl, all I know is

there's a bunch of snakes
in here,

and the only way to stay
in this competition for me

is to be in the top this week.

And I think Kim
is my best chance to win.

Best two out of three.

Okay.

-Okay, best out of three.
Here we go.

Y'all two gotta duke it out.

Rock, paper, scissors?

-Best two out of three?
-[Trinity] Okay.

Okay, best two out of three.
Here we go.

[both laugh]

Today's maxi challenge
is to act in the mockumentary

about the making of the
Sex and the Kitty, Girl 3.

And Trinity wants Kim Cattrall,
and, bitch, I want Kim Cattrall.

So the only way to decide, girl,
is rock, paper, scissors.

One, two, three, shoot.

-Okay, that's one. 1-0.
-Okay.

One, two, three, shoot.

Boom, 1-1. Aah!

[all cheer]

One, two, three, shoot.

Aah!

One, two, three, shoot.

-Aah!
-I'm it.

I get Kim. I get Kim.

I thought
you were going with paper.

-Candy wrapper.
-[Monét] I know.

Bitch, I can't take it.

-Monique, you'll be K-Jo.
-K-Jo.

-Latrice, you'll be Cynthia.
-Okay.

I will be playing SJP.
You'll be Kim.

So who's the nice, like,
pretty sensitive girl?

That's gonna be Monét
playing Kristin.

[Naomi laughs]

Why'd your face
change like that?

I don't see her being dainty.

It's an acting challenge.

I'm an actress.
Let's go.

I really, really want Kim,

but I know all these characters
really well,

so I'm going to slay
this challenge

no matter who I play.

Please don't say it.
We're about to eat.

Your girl is a contender.
Amen.

Well, the gang's all here

brunching at our favorite place.

How do you like
your character?

I didn't get a chance
to read her whole description,

but now I see what
she's supposed to be doing.

She sounds lesbian.

-She is a lesbian.
-[all laugh]

Naomi assigns me Cynthia,

the level-headed lawyer turned
lesbian turned politician.

I'm kind of getting into it.

I'm like I'm reading
the backstory of her,

and I'm like, okay,
I can be this girl.

I just have to make it my own.

I have big news, too.

We all know you're gay.

Not that.

I'm running for office.

Aah!

What if I have like a twitch?

[laughs]

I'm K-Jo.

She has been a party girl
for years.

Hiya, skanks. What?

You look like
you just seen a ghost.

I have a long history
of acting, in the church plays.

Anybody else grew up like me
in the Easter cantata,

the Christmas play, trying
to look like Jesus or Moses.

Didn't you die

when you fell out of the window
of the penthouse 15 years ago?

Nope. I was just in a coma.

Also, I've acted on stage
in the school auditorium.

Um...
[crickets chirp]

I mean, that's about it.

Woke up about an hour ago.

Anybody
got a flip phone charger?

I don't know
if they want to do

like the twitch
the entire thing. Right?

[Latrice] Wow.

She has some strange ideas.

I was like, yeah, do that.
Please, do that.

Please let her do it.

[laughs]

The end.

Work.
This is going to be fun.

-This is funny.
-♪ Hey, kitty girl ♪

I think that your character
is perfect for you.

I think so, too.

-Hello, ladies.
-[All] Hi, Ross.

Are you ready
to Jimmy Choo up the scenery?

[all laugh]

Now it's time
to film our mockumentary

for Sex and the Kitty, Girl 3.

Rolling in Sweden?
Okay, great. Action.

Now, our setting
is the Standard Hotel.

Love it.

The Standard has five hotels

in New York, L.A., Miami,
and coming soon to London.

-Whoa.
-Word.

They're known for their
taste-making clientele,

so you will fit right in.

Places, ladies.

Sex and the Kitty, Girl 3
take one.

Action.

Well, the gang's all here
brunching at our favorite place.

[Ross] Cut!
Latrice, with your first line,

you're sort of
setting the scene. We're here!

You know, it's like, oh,
the girls are back together.

-[Latrice] Okay.
-I think it's that energy.

-Okay, okay.
-[Ross] All right? Here we are!

-Sure. Yay. Okay.
-Sell it. Action.

Well, the gang's all here.

We're brunching
at our favorite place.

Anna Wintour
is finally stepping down

as editor-in-chief of Vogue.

Cut!
Naomi, your energy is good.

I just don't want you
to push too hard.

You know, SJP, she's kind of
just kind of sweet.

-Okay.
-You know. Got it?

Anna Wintour
is finally stepping down

as the editor-in-chief
of Vogue.

Cut. You're a little,
you know, a little off.

She's more like perky,
because this is what she loves.

Okay.

And still find
a little more subtlety.

-Okay.
-We're gonna get there.

[Trinity] Girl, I'm waiting for
Naomi to give me some SJP,

but all I'm getting is...
[whispers] Club 96.

Let's talk about
female fashion issue.

All right, cut.

So, Naomi, female issues,
female fashions.

Can we please stop
talking about female issues

and start talking
about fashion issues?

[Ross] Okay, cut.

Let's talk about
female fashion issues.

Cut. Enough female issues.

This movie needs
more female fashion.

-Female fashion.
-[Ross] You got it?

Female issues, female fashion.

It's a lot of lines.
I get it.

As a proud mother

of a daughter of color,
and...

[Ross] Take it again.

You know, as a proud mother
of a daughter of color

and a newly converted Jewess,

I think that your first cover
should be solid black.

Cut. Monét, play with it.

-Have fun with it.
-Okay.

Okay? Because
we're wanting more.

Don't say it!
We're about to eat.

Cut, cut, cut.
Okay, great.

Ladies, we're moving on
to the next scene.

Ooh!

All right, so we're gonna
be cutting from the movie.

This is now you're being
the actors, right?

-Okay.
-Scripts are hidden.

Duncan's going to say cut,
you'll pull the scripts out.

-Okay?
-Right.

[Ross] I think I would love to
even see your posture change.

Cut. Okay.
You know what I mean?

Almost like
you let your belly out.

Just a subtle, like, character
shift, you know what I mean?

Okay.

[Duncan] That's a cut.

Oh. Oh, thank God.
I have notes.

Why do I have to be...

I'm sorry. Line?

Why do I have to do
all the sex scenes?

Okay.
And why do I have to...

Cut. I need you
to get that line, Trinity.

-Sorry.
-Action.

It says in my script
I'm supposed to...fuck a duck.

Seriously?
[Ross] Cut.

Okay, Trinity, I'm going
to take you Kim Cattrall 101.

Can you go low
on "seriously?"

Seriously?

No. Kim Cattrall
goes "seriously."

-She does.
-[all laugh]

Okay. All right.
A real duck?

Seriously?

Trinity is blowing it.
[laughs]

Action.

Hiya, skanks.

-[Latrice] Oh.
-What?

You look like you just seen
a ghost or something.

[chuckles]

Does anybody have
a charger for my flip phone?

And then it's the pause.
Oh, sorry.

[Ross] All right, cut!

-Great energy when you came in.
-Okay.

Monét, I think
you are so bothered by K-Jo.

She's so annoying.
She's a mess.

Got it.

Didn't you die when you fell
out the penthouse window?

Nope. Just in a coma.

I woke up
about an hour ag-ago.

[all laugh]

Don't put that in.
Take care of that in post.

It was actually--

[all laugh]

[Latrice] Girl.

Girl,
this bitch is suffering

from chronic wig loss syndrome.

And there ain't no pill,
there ain't no shot,

and it's only given anally.

Can I smoke in here?

No.

[coughs]

[Ross] Cut. Okay.

I don't know that
we need you guys coughing

and smoking a cigarette
if we never lit it. Okay?

So I think you look for a light.
Oh, I can't smoke it?

-It's not lit, okay?
-Got it. Sorry.

No, don't be sorry.

The church play type,
you know, actor.

[chuckles]

So what happened
with you and Mr. Big?

Finally.

Oh, I meant, I thought
you'd never ask.

[Latrice] Mr. Big?

Why does every conversation
have to do with men?

-I mean, seriously.
-I mean--

Sorry.

The future is female,
and if--

If you step on my line
one more time...

[all laugh]

Sorry.

Let's just get through it
before we cut.

-It's almost there, okay?
-[laughs]

It's good.
I promise you.

Whoo!

-Giddyup.
-Whoo.

Aah!

Save a horse,
ride a hillbilly.

[all laugh]

Oh, my God.
This is the big day.

Whoo, today's runway
is kitty cat couture,

and today's elimination is
the last one before the finale,

where somebody's
gonna get the crown.

And that's a lot of pressure.

You had
a lot of fucking lines.

I had a lot of lines.

You had lines
the house down,

but you knew them.

[Naomi]
But I feel like I had

one of the best understanding
of my lines.

-[Monét] Oh, absolutely.
-Going in there.

Totally.

Girl, I hear y'all over there

trying to make something happen
that ain't gonna happen.

[all laugh]

-I'm very proud
of my performance

in Sex and the Kitty, Girl 3.

I took the lead role,
who had the most lines.

It was a risk, and I hope
that it doesn't send me home.

You were so Kristin.

-I wouldn't say that.
-Yeah.

You don't even know the show.

She's the prissy white bitch.
You didn't give me that.

A lot of mine
was in the nuances that I did.

[laughs]

[Monét] Like, like, like, like--

-You know what you do?
Failed nuance.

[all laugh]

Nu-ance.

When I can make myself laugh,
like, I know it's funny.

And yesterday inside,
I was like... [laughs].

So it's gonna be
really interesting

to see what happens
on the runway.

Ross came for you, Trinity.

I don't know
how to feel about it.

Well, here's the thing.

Because Trinity
wanted Kim Cattrall--

That's what I wanted
to ask you, Monét.

Do you feel like you could have
did a better job than Trinity?

-I do.
-Oh.

-That's not shade.
-[Latrice] No, girl.

I'm just shocked
to hear you say yes.

Well, because also,
I'm like a huge fan,

like, I've seen every season.

But, girl, just because
you're a huge fan of the show

don't mean you'll do the--

But I know her isms, and I
know, like, like, I sometimes--

But I felt like
I was doing the isms.

I sit with my friends
and I, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Trinity] Girl, Monét is being
a bitter Betty, bitch.

"Oh, girl, I know this show."

Bitch, we'll see.

It's elimination day.

The stress of like having
to like pick one of you

if I'm in the top,
you know, and win,

that's the part
I'm not looking forward to.

[Trinity] If I am in the top,

I really am genuinely
going to try

to make the fairest
possible decision

based off of track record.

I'm hearing all this
report card bullshit,

and like I'm looking at
who I feel

-would represent this legacy--
-I agree.

And actually have a platform
and use it for good

and not for like self-indulgent
music videos, a new T-shirt.

That's bullshit.

So I want somebody
standing up there next to me

who's looking at
the bigger picture

of what this competition
really means and stands for.

And that is my sermonette
for the day.

[Naomi] It's real easy to talk
about it before it happens--

That's very true.

[Naomi] But when you're
in that moment,

everything goes out the window.

I know
it would make great television

if Trinity got voted off.

[Latrice] Ooh!

Oh, please don't say that
and put that in the universe.

Don't hate the player, bitch.
Hate the game.

[RuPaul laughs]

♪ Cover girl,
put the bass in your walk ♪

♪ Cover girl,
put the bass in your walk ♪

♪ Head to toe,
let your whole body talk ♪

♪ Cover girl ♪

[RuPaul] And what?
[applause]

Welcome to the main stage of
RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars.

Michelle Visage,
now, is it true

you turned down the lead role

in the original
Sex and the City?

Uh, close.

I was offered the lead role
in another movie

called Sex and the Titties.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, my God,
you're perfect for that.

-Scheduling conflict and, yeah.
-[RuPaul] Yeah.

And Hollywood's hottest
and most affordable director,

Ross Mathews.

Ru, I love directing so much.

I felt like Clint Beastwood.

[all laugh]

That's funny, because you look
more like a Steven Squealberg.

Cut!

[all laugh]

A fashion designer whose
clients include Michelle Obama,

Julianne Moore, and the new
RuPaul doll, Jason Wu.

Hi, doll.

You look gorgeous,
both of you.

I feel plastic.

Just 99%.

And an award-winning actress
of the stage and screen,

the incredible Felicity Huffman.

Hi, Ru.
You know, it's a fun fact.

I actually beat out Michelle
for the lead

in that film Sex and the
Titties, and it was actually

some of the most rewarding work
of my career.

Uh-huh.

Well, I bet you had
to dig deep for that one.

Oh, Ru, you have no idea.

[all laugh]

This week,
we challenged our queens

to star in a mockumentary

about the making
of Sex and the Kitty, Girl 3.

On the runway,
category is cat couture.

-Meow.
-Ladies and gentlemen,

start your engines,
and may the best All Star win.

♪ She's a super queen,
super queen ♪

[RuPaul]
First up, Trinity The Tuck.

[Michelle] She's a cheetah.

[Jason] I think this tiger's
from New Jersey, right?

[Ross] Oh, my God,
I'm so star-struck.

I love her cheese puffs.

[RuPaul laughs]

[Trinity] Bitch,
my cat couture is fierce.

I am feeling my pussy.

She is sleek, tight-fitting,
and she purrs.

Rrr. Meow. [hiss]

[RuPaul] Now that's
what I call a meowchfit.

[Michelle] Yes.

Her leopard brings
all the spots to the yard.

[all laugh]

[Felicity]
I want that catsuit.

[RuPaul] Monét X Change.

-[Jason] Oh.
-[Michelle] Whoo.

[RuPaul] Where there's smoke,
there's a pussy on fire.

-[Michelle] A pink pussy?
-[RuPaul] Mm.

[Jason] I think
it's one of the Pokémon.

I think I should
try to catch it.

[Michelle] Jigglypuff.
[all laugh]

[Monét] I'm giving you
pink pussy panther fierceness.

I feel sexy.
I feel sultry.

I feel like this is like
the Pink Panther come to life,

and she grew up in Harlem
on Lexington and 123rd, okay?

She is a pink panther,
and I feel good.

[RuPaul] Pink Panther
on the runway.

[Felicity] It looks like
a sex toy in a person.

[RuPaul] I'll take two.
[all laugh]

[Jason]
I can see her cat nips.

[Michelle] Meow, meow.

[RuPaul] Latrice Royale.

[Ross]
Behold the lion queen.

[RuPaul] Oh, she's serving
that jungle fever.

♪ If she were queen
of the forest ♪

[Latrice] I'm the queen
of the jungle, honey.

I have this gorgeous
air-brushed safari dress.

Hair is to the gods,

honey blondes
and crimped and braids.

Just giving you lion safari.

[laughs]
And I feel beautiful.

[Michelle]
Atilier Roberto Safari.

-[RuPaul] Safari so goody.
-[Michelle] Yes.

[Ross] Do you really like it
or are you just lion?

[all laugh]

[RuPaul] Naomi Smalls.

Cou-tens across the board.

[Michelle] Guys, is that
a skein on her dress?

[laughs]

Thank you.
That's a yarn joke. Thank you.

[Jason] I'd love to play
with her yarn balls, though.

[Naomi] This cat couture look

is my pastel take
on a modern-day cat lady.

She sits at home
with her feline friends,

because who needs a boyfriend
when you look this fabulous?

[Ross] So cats have nine lives,
and she has three cats.

So carry the one...it's like
a thousand and something.

[Michelle] Yes.
This is a fancy feast.

[all laugh]

[RuPaul] Monique Heart.

[Michelle] Those boots
are grrrrrreat!

[all laugh]

[Jason] We call that
a puss in hooker boots?

[Michelle] Yes.
[all laugh]

[Monique] My cat couture look

is inspired
by Puss in Boots.

It is a cat leotard,
airbrushed, custom colored,

lightly sprinkled
with some rhinestones.

And these boots? Ridiculous.

They are what? Pussy.

[RuPaul] No, she's a Puss
in Boots and a Cat in a Hat.

[all laugh]

[Michelle] Rum Tum Tucker.
[all laugh]

♪ She's a super queen ♪

Welcome, All Stars.

Meow.

-Meow.
-Meow.

-Grrr.
[all laugh]

It's time
for the world debut

of your mockumentary.

[Announcer]
When it was announced

that the most
beloved characters

in the history of the world

were reuniting
for one final film,

Hollywood predicted
box office gold.

As the star
and executive producer,

I had the great responsibility

to celebrate female friendship

by bringing my sister actors
back together.

Who wouldn't love that,
right?

[Announcer] But not everyone
was on the same page.

I never wanted
to do this movie.

I've been very clear.

In fact, I literally said,

"I do not want to do
this movie."

[Announcer] This is
the Ru Hollywood Story

of Sex and the Kitty, Girl 3,

the shequel
that was never meant to be.

Sex and the Kitty, Girl 3,
take one.

Well, ladies, were here.

We are brunching
at our favorite place.

Guess what?

Anna Wintour
is finally stepping down

as the editor-in-chief
of Vogue.

No.

And guess who's in line
for the position.

That's great.
You know, as a proud mother

of a daughter of color

and a newly converted Jewess,

I think that your first cover
should be solid black.

You know, to challenge
white patriarchy.

By the way, where the heck
is the waiter?

Ha! He's buttering
my muffin.

And by that,
I mean he's under the table.

[both gasp]

His name's Larry,
but I like to call him Lawrence.

Lawrence of my labia.

Please don't say it.

We're about to eat.

I have big news, too.

Something I've been wanting
to tell you all

for such a long time.

It's okay.
We all know you're gay.

Not that.

I'm running for office!

Oh!
[applause]

It's about time you got
your ballet box stuffed.

What? Once you start
making sex puns,

it's hard to stop.

Guess who I ran into
on the subway.

Mr. Big.

That reminds me.

I need to fix New York's
crumbling subway system.

Speaking of worn-out tunnels,

vaginal dryness is a big problem
with women in their sixties,

so I'm launching
my own feminine lubricant

called "Slickity Split."

Cut. Cut.

Any shameless plugging
has to go through me.

Shameless?

My tits are all over
this franchise,

and you've never even
taken off your bra.

She who shall not be named
has always been a challenge.

In my script, it says
I'm supposed to fuck a duck.

A real duck?

Seriously?

Ladies, can we get along?

I mean, we're stronger together.

I mean, really.

Where'd she go?

[gasps]

"I'm sorry. I can't.
I hate you."

Did she just break up with us
on a Post-it note?

Oh, no, she better don't.

If there's one thing I learned
playing Annie on Broadway

is that at a certain age,
everyone's replaceable.

[Announcer]
So executive producer SJP

asked an old guest star
to drop in.

[K-Jo] Cowabunga!

Oh!

Hiya, skanks.

Oh!

Wait. Really?

She was in one episode
in the entire series.

You look like
you just seen a ghost.

[Kristin] Didn't you die

when you feel out of the window
of the penthouse

15 years ago?

Nope. Just in a coma.

I woke up about an hour ago.

Does anyone have a charger
for my flip phone?

Flip phone?

Welcome back.

We really needed a fun member
to fill this foursome.

Ah, yeah, whatever.

Can I smoke in here?

Who says I'm not fun?

Is this because I'm a lesbian?

You know, I used to be

New York City's
number one party girl.

But I learned my lesson.

Now, who has the blow?

Shh! We don't really
do that anymore, okay?

You know, whatever happened
to you and Mr. Big, anyway?

Mr. Big.

Why does every conversation
end up being about men?

The future is female.

It certainly was last night.

Holla.

I mean, can we please address
the double standards

when it comes to nudity?

It's about gender justice.

Come on, say it with me, ladies.

Free the nipple!

Oh, cut!

[Announcer] It turns out
that unscripted nudity

was more than SJP could bare.

We need to please stop
talking about female issues.

This movie
needs more female fashion.

So after all this
clowning around,

I couldn't help but wonder,

as editor of Vogue,

what was going to be the theme
of my first Met Ball?

[gasps]

Hiya.

Do you like my look?

It's Dolce & Gabbozo.

Listen,
if it's gonna help me snag

the all-important
clown vote, why not?

Can I smoke in here?

Well, if it isn't
the insane clown posse.

Get a load
of my insane clown pussy.

Cut. You?

What are you doing here?

I couldn't resist
a clown theme.

I mean, who doesn't love
a big top?

Ugh.

Oops. I did it again.

[gasps]

Well, you know what?

I'm going to be
the better person.

Come here.

Oh.

[honk]

-Oh!
-Oh!

[SJP] Oops.

That was real knee-slapper.

-Oh!
[Kim] Oops.

That wasn't your knee.

Hey, hey, hey.
Clown-on-clown violence

is no laughing matter.

Oh!

Girls, when they go low,

we go pie.

[laughs]

-Oh!
[K-Jo] Ha!

She's clown roadkill!

Aah!

[SJP] And there we were,

red-nosed and red-faced

in our own little
three-ring circus.

[Kristin] You know,
Anne Frank once said,

"in spite of everything,
people are truly good at heart."

Or was that Cardi B?

[Cynthia]
When women come together,

they can do important
powerful things.

Just not these women.

[Announcer] Ultimately, plans

for the Sex and the Kitty, Girl
shequel were scrapped.

I'm getting paid for this,
right?

[applause]

Nice work, kitty girls.

Now it's time
for the judges' critiques.

[RuPaul] Welcome, ladies.

Now it's time
for the judges' critiques,

starting with Trinity The Tuck.

Tonight on the runway,
I mean, sometimes

it's just great
to keep it simple and deliver,

and that's what you did.

I just couldn't
take my eyes off of you,

and the body, everything works.

I thought you were
one fierce kitty.

I wanted to be you
and date you

both at the same time.

-I'm married, but--
-[Trinity] That's okay.

I can be a side pussy.

[all laugh]

Well, let's talk about
the challenge, all right?

You needed to nail this.

Girl, you got this.

Thank you.

No, thank you.

[all laugh]

It stole the show, really,
for me, and it was really great.

[Felicity] You calibrated
the performance.

There were highs
and there were lows,

and it was different,
and I really appreciated it.

-And I loved watching you.
-Thank you.

Up next, Monét X Change.

[Michelle]
Tonight on the runway,

though you look adorable,
I am getting full on mouse.

Really? Mouse?

Anybody else getting mouse?

-It's the round ears.
-Yeah.

[Jason] You're quite blended,

which kind of makes everything
a little more quiet.

I'm black under here,
just so you know.

-What?
-[Jason] No.

-[Monét] I know.
-Shocker.

Okay,
so Kristin Davis's character

is not always the most hilarious
character, right?

Yeah.

But she provides something
to bounce off of,

and that's what we were
trying to get you to.

Like, to be the prissy one

who was so annoyed
when Monique came in there.

So I wish you would have
found a way to pop more.

Yeah.

And I think there were
some moments that were there.

Monét, you're a good actress.

But I think what was missing

was the real
goody-two-shoes from her.

Yeah.

That's why we couldn't
really go anywhere with her.

-[Monét] Yeah.
-If that makes sense.

-Yeah.
-[Felicity] I disagree.

I think after playing
a lot of those roles myself,

that's all that you can do.

And if you do more than that,

you're kind of shoveling shit
on top of it.

So good for you.

Up next, Latrice Royale.

So when I heard
you were here today,

I was literally dying because
I'm your biggest fan ever.

Stop it.

Like the biggest
fucking fan ever.

So with that said,

it's very hard for me to say,

but I wish the costume
was a little stronger.

The chiffon kind of
just fell flat for me,

because it was kind of
just dragging along,

and I kind of missed
the richness.

-I wish you had a cape.
-Oh.

That would have been
fucking major.

-Roadkill.
-It might have been a roadkill.

[Ross] Well, let's talk about
the challenge.

I have always loved
Cynthia's character.

I always thought
she was underrated,

because it could seem
like she was boring,

but she was a strong,
smart woman,

and she knew
how to deliver a line.

And you did the same thing.
Well done.

You were funny,
you landed the jokes,

but you really
were talking to someone.

You were the one
that did that the most,

and I really admire that.

Thank you.

Up next, Naomi Smalls.

This is really fun.

It's campy,
but it's also beautiful.

It's fashion,
and it's different.

I like your take
on the modern catwoman.

I loved it.
This is fashion for me.

Like fashion with a capital F.

Thank you, Jason.

So you got SJP.

Did you dole out the roles?

I did.

So you chose
to give yourself the big one.

-Yes.
-[Michelle] Which is smart,

if you can handle it.

So the thing about SJP

is that is the role that
every single girl wanted to be.

What was missing for me
from your performance

was any likeability.

I didn't--I didn't like her.

I didn't want to be like her.

[Ross] Where you struggled

was really finding the essence
of that character.

You weren't bringing
yourself to a role.

I think that's
what you were missing.

So what we got was a whole lot
of attitude and no Naomi.

Were there other roles
that you had your eye on?

[Naomi] Um, not really.

On season eight, I would always
like go for a role

that I think I could
kind of fly under the radar,

because I was too scared
to let it really stand out.

So I wanted to challenge myself,

like I've been challenging
myself this entire competition

to go with the lead.

-I love that.
-Thank you.

Up next, Monique Heart.

[Michelle] Tonight on the runway

is probably one of the best
you've ever looked.

We got the Puss in Boots
reference.

Your makeup is really dynamic.
It's really fun.

I'm just really proud
of you tonight.

[Ross] Honestly,
I think it's my favorite

I've ever seen you look.

Because of course
you're glamorous

and you're gorgeous
and you're put together.

Yes.

[Ross] But there's whimsy
in it, too.

There's fun.
Let's talk about the challenge.

You got a character

that was one of the most
talked about ever.

It could have gone really badly,
and you smashed it.

Michelle, I actually did not
give her much direction.

-Did you not?
-You know why?

-The bitch didn't need it.
-[Michelle] There you go.

I thought your character
was hilarious.

I just was like laughing my ass
off the whole time, actually.

And, you know,
it was pretty genius,

because we really don't know
that much about that character.

-Right.
-[Jason] She died.

So you had to fabricate

the rest of what
that character looks like.

You know, I think your role
probably was longer

than her actual time
at Sex and the City.

[all laugh]

Monique, cat got your tongue?

Ah. It just feels really,
really, like, damn right.

You know, this is fierce
competition across the board.

So thank you.
Thank you.

All right, thank you.

Based on the judge's critiques,

I've made some decisions.

Monique Heart.

Trinity The Tuck.

Con-drag-ulations.

You are the top two All Stars
of the week.

[applause]

Thank you.

You've each won
a $3.000 gift card

from The Diva's Jewels,

and a three-night stay

at the fabulous Standard East
Village in New York City.

-Yes!
-Aah!

Airfare for two included.

-[Michelle] Ooh.
-Stunning.

Catnip not included.

[all laugh]

This week
if you are not in the top,

you are in the bottom.

Monique, Trinity,
each of you needs to decide

which of the bottom three
you'll eliminate

if you win the lip sync.

So while you queens deliberate,

the judges and I will be reading
my new book, Guru.

Available everywhere.

Ladies, you may leave the stage.

♪ I made the top four ♪

♪ I made the top four ♪

It feels so good
to be in the top four,

but there's five of us
here tonight.

And if I win this lip sync,
I have to chop somebody.

[Naomi] What the fuck
just happened?

[Trinity] This was probably
the hardest one to see

what they were looking for
as far as the challenge.

Very that.

To have a sense
of feeling like you did well

and still be in the bottom,
it's not good enough,

that sucks.

Even though I know
I did well this week,

if you're not in the top,
you're in the bottom.

So this is so
not where I want to be.

You feeling tormented yet?

[Monique] Yes.

Clearly you already know
where I wanna be,

and what it all means,
and we're all fucking fierce.

Right.

So you do what you have to do

to make your spirit right

and you right in your spirit,
you know what I mean?

Okay, girl, like,

it's like I've been doing
a fierce job in the competition,

and, you know, I just wasn't
the fiercest today,

and I'm in the bottom.

I can't deny that you have
the second most wins.

Yeah.

And you've--this is the only
your second time in the bottom.

Yeah.

Who would you send home?

If I was in the top?

I would probably choose Latrice.

Just because
she's been here before,

she's went, she's came back.

And it's like, bitch,
when you come back,

you need to try your best
to be at the top

so that you're not in that
situation to go home again.

Okay. Very good point.

But if you're not here tomorrow,

don't take it personal.

[Monét]
Trinity has made it clear

that she wants to play
a fair game.

But she might have waited this
entire season to play strategy

and send home
a strong competitor.

The feeling of being
possibly chopped

so close to the final four
is gruesome.

Okay, so listen.

What's up, pussycat?

[Trinity]
I'm not going to lie to you.

I don't know
who I'm gonna pick yet.

Trinity has so many opinions

about the report card
and the fairness,

so the fact that Latrice and I
are neck and neck with wins,

she could send me home.

What I want to know is
who would you send home?

[whistles]

It would be a gag,
because I saved her last week.

But I'm not really thrilled
with Latrice's performance

while she's been here.

Okay.

She had some peaks,
but not a lot.

I'm taking into consideration
not just the performances here.

I'm taking into consideration
full body of work,

outside of here,
and who you are as a person.

Naomi's got some fierce-ass
runways, bitch.

She is an amazing lip syncer,

and she's proven that
since her last season here,

she has grown a lot.

But her track record has shown
she has more growing to do.

To me all of that factors in to
who should win this competition.

Before we do the thing,
I want to say this.

I don't wanna go home.

I've been doing
a great job on All Stars.

I've really redeemed myself

from a lot of my mistakes
of season 10.

And I don't think that
my work at All Stars is done.

I feel like I still have

the one more fucking challenge
to do, bitch.

Top four.

[Monét] Monique is my sister,

so I'm hoping that
she'll have my back.

As close as we got during
the competition, here we are.

Yeah. Look, regardless of what
your decision is, Monique--

I just want to know
that you won't hate me.

Is Monique cut-a-bitch Heart
about to send me home?

Is she about to gag
the fuck out of me?

May the odds
ever be in your favor.

[kiss]

I know this look is pussy.

[both laugh]

-Congratulations.
-Thank you.

[Naomi] I thought
you did a really good job,

and I think I've done
a really good job.

All of us
did a really good job.

I really want to honor everyone.

And it sucks because you're
just like how do I do this?

Who do you think
should go home?

Uh, I--I--I don't know.

Your life is on the line,
because, guess what?

Both of them said you.

Okay. All right.

Interesting.

These bitches
are gunning for me.

It'd probably be Naomi
at this point.

Why do you think Naomi?

Naomi did the worst
in this challenge.

She took on a bit more
than she could chew on.

So she made her bed, lie in it.

At home.

That's a very good point.

They're talking a long time.

-They're talking a long time.
-They are.

Shade. I call shade.

[Naomi] Honestly,
she could tell Latrice,

like, what I said about her,
and I'd be like, yeah,

that's exactly what I said.

I don't give a fuck.

Honestly,
I don't give a fuck.

I found out y'all
both voted me off the island.

[Monét] Latrice,
you know I love you.

It's just
you had to pick a name.

-Yeah.
-I said you

because based on consistency
in this competition,

you've been
the most inconsistent.

Have I?

[Naomi] Yeah.
You don't think

that you deserve to be
in the bottom at all?

[Latrice] Well,
based on my critique, no.

Who did you pick to send home?

Naomi.

Naomi, debt has been paid,
bitch.

If it's me or you, you gotta go.

[Trinity] There's reason
for all three of them to stay,

and there's reason
for all three of them to go.

For me,
like me and Monét both

have been in that place
of a quick turnaround

and really have shown
the fuck out.

So for sure, she's not one on
my list for an immediate chop.

[Trinity] Monét has had
a lot of high points

through this competition.

And I've seen
a lot of growth with Monét.

But is that enough
for her to be top four?

I just don't know.

I'll take into consideration

who I think would be a good
representative of this title.

Yeah.

And Latrice is somebody
that thousands look up to.

That is really true.

[Trinity] And so I can't
not think about that.

Yeah. I do not feel okay
chopping Latrice,

because I know
what her message is,

I know what her heart is, and
I know what her integrity is.

But at the same time...

...she's been in the bottom
the most.

Naomi has been turning it.

I kind of disagree.

I kind of feel like
Naomi is forgettable.

She's sickening
on the runway, but--

Naomi had
really bad critiques today,

and that is definitely
something to think about.

So, I mean,
that really, really is.

I do know that I don't know.

Amen.

Mm, mm, mm.

I'm a good author.

There's so many beautiful
photographs in here.

I wish I knew how to read.

Ooh, she's got
such pretty hair.

I just can't stop touching it.

Hey, I got a book, too,
you know.

Ooh, look at all that ass.

[Doll] Silence!

Bring back my All Stars.

[Trinity] I am here
for business.

This decides
who's in the top four.

And looking at
the bottom three,

I'm taking into consideration
everything

from who you are
as an entertainer,

who you are as a person,

your track record
in the competition,

and also, do I think
you are ready to reign.

[Monique]
We have all made it so far

and fought so hard to get here.

We are close
to the finish line.

This is it.

The dream goes on
for four of us.

But with great power
comes great responsibility.

So tonight, I might have
to crush someone's dream.

[RuPaul] Welcome back, ladies.

Two All Stars stand before me.

Ladies, this is your chance
to impress me,

win $10.000,
and earn the power

to give one of the bottom queens
the chop.

The time has come
for you to lip sync...

[echoing] for your legacy.

Good luck,
and don't fuck it up.

[music plays]

♪ Ooh, baby ♪

♪ Anytime
my world gets crazy ♪

♪ All I have to do to calm it ♪

♪ Is just, just think of you ♪

♪ 'Cause when I think
of you, baby ♪

♪ All I think about
is our love ♪

♪ When I think of you ♪

♪ When I think of you ♪

[all laugh]

♪ When I think of you ♪

♪ Bass ♪

[Michelle] Wow.

Ooh.
[Jason laughs]

♪ Ooh, when I'm around ♪

♪ Ahh ♪

♪ When I think of you ♪

♪ Something's coming through ♪

♪ Something's
coming through ♪

♪ Brick ♪
[all laugh]

[Michelle] Yeah!

[RuPaul]
Janet, Janet, Janet now!

Aah!
[all laugh]

♪ Feels so good ♪

♪ When I think of you ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

[cheers and applause]

-Whoo!
-Wow.

Ladies, I've made my decision.

Trinity...

You're a winner, baby.

[applause]

Con-drag-ulations.

You've earned a cash tip
of $10.000.

Thank you.

I'm extremely proud of myself

that I have four wins

and I've won two lip syncs.

and made it
all the way to the end

in a fierce competition.

But it all of a sudden hits me

that now I have to reveal
who I'm choosing to go home,

and...I've got to crush
somebody's dream.

[RuPaul] Monique, you are safe.

You may step
to the back of the stage.

[applause]

Will the bottom three
please step forward?

Trinity, with great power
comes great responsibility.

Which queen have you chosen
to get the chop?

After talking
to all the girls,

there were several
great points made

by all three of them
why they should stay

and who should go.

And the queen that I've
decided to send home tonight

is fierce
and she will forever be

someone everyone looks up to.

So I'm sending home Latrice.

Latrice Royale,

as it is written,
so it shall be done.

You are and will always be
an All Star.

Thank you so much.

Now sashay away.

Sorry.

It's okay, girl.

-Love you.
-Love you, too.

[Trinity] All right, babe.

I already said my byes once,
so bye.

[all laugh]

All the girls kind of felt like
it was my time to go

I guess because
I got sent home once before.

Which is fine.
I'm cool.

This is the game we came
to play, and they played it.

Trinity I'm sure
has her reasons.

There's no hard feelings.

Bitch, I'll see her on the road.

It'll be a kiki and we'll
laugh about this later.

But right now it's toodle-oo,
so farewell, so long.

I have a lot
to be thankful for.

I had a very enjoyable time
this go-around.

That was my number one goal,
and check mark.

I did.
I had a great time.

So I'm gonna go and be wonderful

and marry the man of my dreams.

To all of my royal court, baby,
mama's coming home

and I'm proud, and I'm still
the queen of queens, darling.

My top four All Stars.
Con-drag-ulations.

Next week is the All Star
grand finale,

and I want to hear
from our fans.

Which queen deserves
a coveted spot

in the Drag Race Hall of Fame?

Are you Team Monét,
Team Monique,

Team Naomi,
or Team Trinity?

Let your voice be heard
at RuPaul's Drag Race,

#AllStar4.

And don't miss next week
when we crown a winner, baby.

Now, remember,
if you can't love yourself,

how in the hell
you gonna love somebody else?

Can I get an amen up in here?

-Amen!
-[RuPaul] All right.

Now let the music play.

♪ I'm telling the truth now ♪

♪ We're all born naked
and the rest is drag ♪

♪ Who, who,
who do you think you ♪

♪ We're all born naked
and the rest is drag ♪

[RuPaul] Next time
on All Stars...

-This is top four!

I think some twist is coming.

-I agree.
-I don't know what.

-Yeah.
-But, bitch, it ain't over.

-Girl! Gonna be juicy.

-For this week's
final maxi challenge

you'll be dancing and singing
to my new single

Super queen.

-All Star rules
have been suspended.

-Permanently.
-[gasps]

[Trinity] This is gonna be

-make it or break it.
-I know.

-Naomi, people who are not
taking it seriously don't win.

-Bitch, Monét picked up
on this choreo like that.

-Tell me,
how has this experience

been different from your season?

-I'm winning.
[all laugh]

[RuPaul] The next All Star

to be inducted into
the Drag Race Hall of Fame is...

[RuPaul laughs, bell dings]