All language subtitles for Republic of Doyle s03e07 High School Confidential.eng

[Narrator] Previously
on Republic of Doyle...

[Jake] What about later, we hook

up after work and have a
little, uh, whiskey tasting?

[Leslie] Get it through your
skull, I don't like you.

[Jake] Liar.

[Des] Thoughts,
questions, concerns?

[Chandra] Des, I'm
just super busy.

[Rose] It's okay Dessie.

She likes you.

[Des] Yeah, no.
Yeah, she's crazy about me.

[Des] I'm screwed.
Chandra's totally over me. With Jake

she's, like, laughing and she's paying
attention to his Alpha pheromones.

[Chandra] I've seen
his type before.

[Kathleen] We were dating.

I found out he was married.

[Rose] Tell me
what you wanna do.

[Tammy] You stay away from will!

[Tinny] Can you clean up your mess?
Please?

[Leslie] We both know what's
best here, and it doesn't

involve you and me walking off into the
sunset together. We need to back off.

[Jake] You sure about that?

[
]

[Mal] Shoulda got
Des to do this.

[Jake] I don't see
you over here.

(Zap!)

[Jake] (Scream)

[Mal] (Laugh)

[Mal] Oh wow. That's actually pretty clear.
I take it back.

Nice work.

[Jake] Why are we doing this
stupid worker's comp case anyway?

[Mal] Money, to make a living,
to pay the bills, moron.

[Jake] Clyde cowley?

"Dime-bag Clyde"?

I knew this guy in high school.

This is our worker's comp case?

[Mal] Oh, I remember. You were always
jealous of him. It was embarrassing.

[Jake] I wasn't jealous of him, Clyde was
a-- a total jerk, especially to Walter.

[Mal] You were in love
with his girlfriend.

[Jake] I wasn't in love with her.
She was just very... very

attractive. Clyde and I, we had
this kind of fight-on-sight clause.

[Jake] Whiplash?

everything, you know?
A baseball scholarship, he was Mr. athlete.

He got all the girls.

[Mal] Yeah, well that was then.

Now his finances are in the toilet, injuries.
He's going through a rough time.

[Jake] Is he still with Jessica?

[Mal] As far as I know. Vulture.

[Jake] I'm not a vulture, dad.

She's just super hot.

(Car door shutting)

[Mal] There he goes.

[
]

[Jake] Man, he looks like crap.

[Mal] Whatever he's at, the
whiplash isn't hindering it.

[
]

[Jake] Are you seeing this?

[Jake] Uh, dad... (Commotion)

[Jake] Clyde!

(Scaffold rattling)

[Jake] I'll cut him down, dad.

[Clyde] (Thud)

[Mal] 911? We have an emergency.

Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com

[
]

[Clyde] What the... What...
What am I doing here?

[Jake] Just take it easy.

[Mal] You had an accident Clyde.

[Clyde] Oh wait a
minute, wait a minute!

Hey, didn't I go to
high school with you?

Yeah, you hung out with
that loser fat kid.

(Laughs)

[Jake] His name is Walter,
and he was big-boned.

I'm Jake, and this is
my father, Malachy.

[Mal] Clyde, were you
trying to kill yourself?

[Clyde] What? No. No, no.

Kill myself, no.

Suicide.

(Groan)

- Suicide... that's just-- That's
not me, so... - Easy there. Easy.

The doctor tells us you're
fine, but you need to rest.

[Clyde] Who asked you, anyways?

I'm fine, so...
You guys can just go away now.

[Mal] Hey son, hold up.

If you were trying to kill
yourself, we could have you

taken into custody, so, uh, why don't
you just tell us what's going on?

[Clyde] (Groaning)

Okay, look Jake, since high
school I haven't exactly been

carrying on as the guy I was.

[Jake] Really, I--
I hadn't noticed?

[Clyde] I am a winner.
I had a good job, a house, a marriage,

then a few months ago
everything went a little snaky.

[Jake] Oh yeah?

[Clyde] I lost my job, couldn't find work.
It was like after

spending my whole life on
top, suddenly I was cursed.

[Jake] Well, you know, you still
have-- You still have Jessica, right?

[Clyde] That's true.

[Jake] She was like the hottest
thing in high school...

[Jessica] Why am I still listed
as your next of kin? We're

divorced, remember?
Do you understand that? Divorced?

[Clyde] Not yet, we're not.

[Jessica] Well, we will be soon.

Trust me.

[Jake] Hi, Jessica, how ya doing?
Remember me? Jake Doyle, from high school?

[Walter] Jess, I told you not to talk
to him until after the settlement.

[Jessica] Yeah, I know Wally.

Just-- just give us a second.

[Walter] (Stutter)

[Jake] Wally?

[Walter] I'm repping her in the divorce.
She's an old friend.

I'm doing her a favour.

[Jake] A fa-- A favour.

Yeah, I bet.

[Mal] Hey, boys, boys.
Jake has issues with seeing other people happy.

[Walter] Yeah, okay, so I know
there's a little bit of a

history there between me
and Jess, that's true.

[Jake] A history? Yeah, yeah.

In your fantasy, lad.

[Walter] Hey, we had
chemistry, okay?

[Jessica] Wally?

Let's go.

[
]

[Jake] Nice seeing
you again, Jessica.

[Mal] She's playing hard to get.

- Just... - Look, uh, fellas.
I lied. We're a little divorced.

[Jake] A little?

[Clyde] I need to get my wife back.
I need your help. I need--

I need to save my life.

[
]

[Rose] So you two are getting
along really well, hey?

[Des] Well, it's easy because Chandra has
some seriously super-human qualities.

[Chandra] Des, stop it.

[Des] No, no, it's true.
She's a brilliant swimmer and, uh, she

has to eat all over her food...
Proportionately. Like, like, in proportion.

(Coughing)

[Des] And ladies, that's why I garden,
to keep the stress levels in check.

[Tinny] Right on.

[Chandra] Uh, how-- how are you, Tinny?
How's, um, high school?

[Tinny] Just fine.
Thank you for asking.

[Chandra] That's great.
You know, I remember when I was in

high school. God, it feels like so long ago.
What grade are you in again? 10?

[Tinny] 12, actually.

[Chandra] Oh, good, good.
It's a special year. I hope you enjoy

it. My grade 12 year I just had to cram
and cram to get into pre-med, you know?

[Des] (Laughs)

[Tinny] Well, isn't she all
that and a bag of chips?

[Des] Well, Tinny is an awesome student.
I mean, she gets wicked

marks without even studying.

[Chandra] Oh. Good for her.

[Tinny] Who's the extreme
sport enthusiast?

[Chandra] Oh, ours. Des and I.

[Des] Just a little fun
with the ol' shuttlecock.

[Rose] So, okay, yeah.
I'm going to go to work now and go to the

office. Why don't you
come help me, Tinny?

[Tinny] No, I'm od a actually.

[Des] Why don't we
have a three-way?

[Rose] (Spit!)

[Chandra] What?

- I-- I mean with badminton,
badminton, uh... - Des? No.

[Des] No? Okay, ok, I meant with badminton!
I-- I-- Anyway,

I'm sorry. No? Okay, I'm good.

Okay.

[
]

[Rose] Bye...
for now.

[
]

[Jake] Do you wanna tell us what
the hell are we doing here?

[Clyde] Yeah, I just want to see the
bank guy, you two are PIs, right?

So I'm hiring you.

[Jake] You ever
hear of a cheque?

[Mal] Look Clyde, we can talk
about payment later. We just

need a little info from you about what
it is you think we can do to help.

[Jake] And, you know, why maybe
you tried to hang yourself.

[Clyde] Look, I told you that was an accident.
I just-- I need

to talk to this guy.
He's, he-- he sort of foreclosed on my

house earlier than he should have and I-- I...
Oh, oh, there

he is! Hey, Vallis!

[Vallis] - Yeah...
[Clyde] - Great to see you again.

Clyde... Clyde cowley.

[Vallis] Hmm.

[Clyde] You ripped off
my house, remember?

[Clyde] You... you...
Traitorous piece of poo!

[Jake] - Clyde, just... just...
[Vallis] - Hey! Stay away from me.

And this bank, or you'll end
up in jail, you hear me?

[Mal] What the?

[Jake] Uh... Clyde?

[Mal] I think he's snoring.

[Clyde] (Snoring)

[Mal] Clyde.

[Jake] (Snap)

[Mal] You fell
asleep standing up.

[Clyde] I am just exhausted.

[Des] That's a bad sign.
Let me get my equipment. Just...

[Clyde] I think Jeff Vallis, the
banker, foreclosed on my house

because he's sleeping
with Jessica.

[Jake] Do you have any proof?

[Clyde] No. But he's trying to
make me look like a loser to get

her away from me. That's why I--
I-- I-- I need to get the house

back, for Jessica.
To-- to show her that I can.

[Mal] What would make you think
that Jessica's fooling around on

you with Vallis?

[Jake] Yeah.

[Clyde] I don't know.
It's like the minute we started dealing

with that guy from the bank she changed.
You know? Vallis shows

up and Jess wants me spending more and more.
Nothing's good

enough for her. I kept remortgaging
the house just to keep up.

[Mal] And then
Vallis forecloses.

[Clyde] I couldn't make the payments.
But Vallis, he told me

he would hold off, but he lied to me.
I feel like they were

both playing me, you know,
because first I lose the house,

and then Jessica, she
wants a divorce.

[Jake] Dad and I-- Or I will,
we'll just go talk to Jessica.

[Clyde] No. No, no.

Don't do that.

She'll know something's up.

[Mal] I'm sure she will.

[Jake] Trust us.

This is our job.

[Des] Okay. So, drowsiness
in stressful situations, uh,

over-exertion, bed-wetting,

fear, fight-or-flight instincts,
fear of thumbtacks,

flying, driving, walking or water, those
are all serious, serious symptoms.

[Clyde] I-- I have to
catch up with Malachy.

[Des] Ah, ah, it is in my humble
opinion that you have a medical

condition that you need to see
a physician about. Or a med

student, and that
can be arranged.

[Clyde] What are
you talking about?

[Des] You, sir, are a
text-book narcoleptic.

[Clyde] Don't be ridiculous.

[Des] Hey, no... hey, no!

You're in no condition to drive!

Get a cab!

You're in no condition... ah!

[Mal] I know he was your arch
enemy in high school, but you

really have to stop enjoying
Clyde's suffering so much.

[Jake] Look, okay?
He was a terror to everyone, dad, okay?

He picked on Walter every chance that he got.
I can't help but

think that this whole thing,
you know, it might be karma.

[Mal] Yeah, well watch yourself.

There's plenty of karma to go around.
Clyde's luxury apartment.

[Jake] (Laughing)

He ended up living in his car.

I gotta say, that's perfect.

That's what you call karma.

[Mal] Starting to
see your future?

(Laughs)

[Jake] Very funny.

[Mal] Someone leaving
newspapers around.

(Dirt bike revving)

[Jake] They're all the sa-- [
]

[Mal] See? Karma.

[Jake] Very funny.

[Jake] What is this?

[
]

[Chili] Jake and Malachy Doyle.

[Jake] Who are you?

[Chili] Ah. A man who doesn't waste any time.
I respect that.

Your, uh, client
is in debt to me.

[Mal] What are you talking about?
What debt?

[Chili] It's a considerable amount.
Even in this province's

robust economy. So, do I now
look to you for compensation?

[Jake] Us? Uh, no, b'y.

[Mal] How much?

(Tires screeching)

[Chili] You ask Clyde how much.

[Jake] Who was pony-tail buddy?

[Mal] No idea, but I think
we'd better find out.

[Clyde] Just put it
on Jake Doyle's tab.

[Chili] Hey dead-beat.
I want to talk to you.

[Clyde] I-- I-- I'll get
it back to you, I promise.

[Chili] You bet you will.
So as you don't forget...

[Jake] Ay, whoa, whoa, what do
you think you're doing here?

[Chili] Don't worry.

Message sent.

[Jake] Clyde, you want to tell us
what you got on the go with this guy?

[Clyde] He thinks I robbed him or something.
I don't know.

[Mal] Yeah, right. Of course.

[Jessica] What is going on?

Are you stalking me?

[Jake] Hi Jessica.

[Clyde] Jess, honey,
don't be like that now.

[Jessica] Don't call me "honey".

[Clyde] The boys are just
helping me finish renoing the

house, you see?
We were gonna keep it pretty for you.

[Jessica] Clyde, we don't own the
house anymore, remember? The

bank foreclosed when you stopped
paying the mortgage? I'm lucky

they're letting me stay
until the end of the month.

[Jake] Uh, far be it for me to
interject, but don't you think

maybe that you might be just...
Slightly being a li--

a little-- a little
bit hard on him?

[Jessica] Look creep, I don't
remember you, okay? So drop it.

And you, do I need a restraining order?
Clyde, the past is just

that. The past. Best you left it
behind you and moved on. I have.

[
]

[Des] Oh, uh, the
name's Chili Power.

[Jake] Chili powder?

[Mal] Power.

His Christian name's Liam.

[Jake] Liam Power.

How do I know that name?

[Des] I think Clyde's
a narcoleptic.

[Mal] Des?

[Des] So, Chili's from around
the bay originally, and he made

some major money our in fort Mac
and now he's home, and he's

lending out on the street.

[Mal] - So, guesses are...
[Jake] - Clyde owes him money.

Man... oh, how did I get us roped into
helping this sad-sack of a fella?

[Mal] He needs our help, and you have
a natural inclination to help people.

[Jake] I don't get it.

Where's the joke?

[Mal] There isn't one.

You're a good boy, Jake. Now...
Go help your high school enemy.

[Des] (Slurping)

[Clyde] I guess it all just comes
down to bad luck, you know?

[Jake] Or it could be the fact
that you've never had to work

for anything, and you've been a dick
to everyone for your entire life.

[Clyde] Alright. I was a jerk.

At times. But I was just better
than everyone else. Everything I

touched turned to gold.
You try living with that.

[Jake] Yeah, it must be tough
living in your own shadow.

[Clyde] Do you remember how good
I was at baseball? I was the

only player in this province
to get a baseball scholarship.

[Jake] Why didn't you go?

[Clyde] Jess wanted me to stay.

Couldn't live without me.

Now she doesn't even
love me anymore.

[Jake] How much
do you owe Chili?

[Clyde] 100 grand.

Plus the juice.

[Jake] Oh great.

[Clyde] I just-- I needed a little bit,
just to get by, and... I lost it all.

[Jake] Poker?

[Clyde] No, I literally lost it.

It was stolen, or-- or--
or lost, or whatever.

[Jake] How did you
misplace $100,000?

[Clyde] I... I got home and I saw
Jessica with another man... Vallis.

I'm sure it was him.

I got nervous and...
Had an episode.

I get sleepy whenever I'm nervous,
or excited, or angry, or upset.

[Jake] Des was right.

You're a narcoleptic.

[Clyde] Whatever.
I-- I fell asleep, passed out on the lawn,

woke up and the money was gone.

I think that Jessica has my money
and she's hiding it in the house.

[Jake] Alright, let's go to your
house and we'll get it back, okay?

[Clyde] Really?
You'd do that for me?

[Jake] I'm actually doing it
for myself, because I-- I just

really... I-- I don't want
to deal with you anymore.

[Clyde] Vallis ruined my life.

[Jake] Oh yeah, Vallis is
the problem here. Sure.

[Clyde] From the minute we met him...
Vallis! Fancy suits and

words. Vallis. He's the one that
told me to remortgage the house,

he forecloses on me!

[Jake] Are you even looking
for the money here, or...

[Clyde] Just gotta make sure
there's no new man-stuff here.

[Jake] Clyde, focus, okay?
Where would your wife hide $100,000?

[Clyde] The safe.

(Doors creaking)

[
]

[Clyde] Damn it. It's empty.

[Jake] Nice. You know, I'm
starting to think that there was

no $100,000 in the first place.

(Footsteps)

[Jessica] (Laughing)

[Clyde] Oh! Oh! If she finds me
here she'll freak. She'll do it.

She'll freak!
She'll totally freak!

[Jake] Calm down, calm down!

Just get in there.

[
]

[Jessica] Make yourself at home.

I'll just be a sec.

[Clyde] She's with Vallis!

I told you!

[Clyde] Don't you look at her...
(Snoring)

(Doors opening)

[
]

[Walter] Hey, are we
having a drink or what?

[Jessica] Wally!

You almost caught me naked.

[Walter] Oh sorry.

Do you want me to re-enter
and try that again?

[Jessica] You devil.

[Jessica/walter] (Kissing)

[Jake] You son of a...
[Jessica/walter] (Kissing)

[Jessica] I'm gonna
get us some wine.

[
]

[Walter] Yes!

[Jake] What the
hell are you doing?

[Walter] What am I doing?

You're the one hiding
in her closet!

[Jake] She is married, Walter.

Married!

[Walter] Are you spying
on me or something?

[Jake] Have you no respect for
the sanctity of marriage?

This would kill Clyde.

[Clyde] (Groan)

[Walter] (Shriek)

[Clyde] (Thud)

[Walter] Is-- is that Clyde?

Is he dead?

[Jake] Yes and-- and no.

[Jessica] Wally, is white okay?

The red's down in the basement.

[Walter] Uh, no. Uh...
No. No, red is best.

Uh, white, I get all--- it--
it makes me all, uh... vomity.

[Jessica] Okay...
I'll get the red then.

[Walter] You're just jealous
because I got her and you didn't.

[Jake] Whatever, okay?
Just help me get him out of here. He's

asleep... it's a long story.

[Walter] What are you helping
him for anyway? He was such a

dick-smack to us in high school.

Oh! (Laughs)

You remember that time that
he beat me up and he stole my

pants and my underwear?

[Jake] Shh!
You weren't wearing any underwear.

[Walter] Look, that's
not the point, okay?

(Cell phone ringing)

[Jessica] Hey, is that mine?

[Walter] Uh yeah. Yeah.

[Walter] A little help here please?
Could you... [
]

[Jake] It's a text...
From Vallis...

She's meeting him tomorrow.

[Walter] So? Who? Help!

[Jessica] Wally?

[Clyde] (Groaning)

[Jake] Shut up, Clyde.

Clyde, shut up!

[Clyde] (Groaning)

(Crash) (Cat screeching)

[Walter] Get out.

[Jake] This isn't over.

(Scream) (Crash)

[Walter] You got a text!

[Jessica] Thanks.
I, uh, hope it doesn't make you vomity.

[Walter] (Laughs)

[Clyde] Was she with Vallis?

Was it him? I bet it was him.

I know it was him!

[Jake] It wasn't him. It was...
It was her lawyer, who, by the

way, you tortured every
day in high school.

[Clyde] Walter?

"Walter the falter"?

No worries of her
stepping out with him.

The fatty.

[Jake] You just watch
yourself Clyde.

[Clyde] Why?

We gonna fight again?

Like in high school?

[Mal] Whoa, whoa,
settle down boys.

[Jake] I wouldn't worry about it dad.
For Clyde's sake I don't

- think that's a good idea, and--
[Clyde] - Wait a minute! When I

passed out, she was undressing.

Did you see her naked?

Did you see her naked?!

[Jake] No, b'y. She, um...
(Clears throat)

...Went to the bathroom.

[Mal] We gotta figure out
this situation with Chili.

He's a dangerous one.

[Clyde] Ah, don't worry about him.
I'll deal with him. We need

to deal with Vallis.

[Mal] What's his, uh,
connection to Jessica?

[Clyde] He wants into
her awesome pants.

[Jake] He works as a loan
officer at the bank and Jessica

has a meeting with him
at 10:00 this morning.

[Clyde] Maybe she wants to
renegotiate, get the house back!

[Mal] It'd be good to
have ears on the inside.

[Jake] Yeah.

(Snap)

We should send someone in
undercover, you know, to plant a

bug. Maybe, uh, two kids posing as a
young couple looking to buy a new home?

[
]

[Jake] Okay, that's the lapel
camera, alright? Put it

somewhere where we can't see it, Des.
That's the idea. And this

is a bug, alright?
You need to plant it, because I need to hear

whatever is going on in Vallis'

office after you leave.
Put it on his desk, briefcase, whatever.

[Des] Okay, okay, but-- but...
Me-- me and Tinny? I mean,

really? Don't you think that's
kind of dangerous? I mean, we're

not really in a good place right now
if we're looking for a house together.

[Jake] Tinny's in the bank
waiting for you right now.

[Des] Just wait. Don't get mad at me.
I've been waiting to talk

to you about this.

I think Tinny hates me.

[Jake] Of course she hates you.

[Des] She does?

Did she say anything to you?

Did she say anything?

[Jake] So, I fixed Des with a
lapel camera and it should be

coming through right... now.

[Mal] Bang up job again.

[Clyde] Will we be finding out
if Jess and Vallis are having an

affair now or not?

[Jake] They're not, okay?
But we think that Jess, your wife, is

stealing your money.

[Mal] But if your wife went on a
spending spree just before you

- lost the house...
- Maybe she owes Vallis money.

(Phone ringing)

[Clyde] Or maybe Vallis
made her steal my 100g's.

[Jake] Hello?

[Walter] We need
to talk right now.

[Jake] Yeah, now's not
a very good time.

[Jake] - It was-- oh, hey! Look.
[Des] - One, two...

We've got sound.

[Des] Wow, you look amazing.

I mean, you-- you look great.

You-- you-- you look nice.

[Tinny] Just dressing the part.

Don't freak out.

[Des] Okay, um, alright so, so
do we have a plan? I mean, wha--

what's the plan? We should have a plan.
Was I supposed to have the plan?

[Tinny] - Des--
[Vallis] - Oh yeah. Hold on a sec.

[Tinny] Mr. Vallis, I'm sorry we
don't have an appointment, but

can we just have a
minute of your time?

[Vallis] Call you back.

[Tinny/des] (Kiss)

[Tinny] I think it's the right
thing for us to buy a house.

Don't you, honey?

[Vallis] So, uh, what
can I do for you kids?

[Tinny] Well, we're not exactly kids.
I'm in med school, which

makes me a bit of a dick, but
we're in love so we just wanna

start looking at houses.
That's what you specialize in, right?

Houses, mortgages?

[Vallis] Well, first thing's first.
Are you here for

pre-approval or do you
property in mind?

[Tinny] Oh I've got a property in mind.
Des, are you sure you

wanna get all settled in with a
med student, buy a house, have

little med student babies?

[Des] Oh my God, oh my God.

[Vallis] Is he, uh-- Is he okay, or...
Yeah? Doesn't look okay.

[Tinny] Oh. Oh my God! You know what?
He's... he's allergic to

paper. I think he's going
into anaphylactic shock!

[Mal] Oh dear.

[Clyde] What in God's
name is she doing?

[Tinny] Oh my God.
You'd better go get one of those allergy

needle pens or he
will die right here.

[Des] I'm freaking out.

I'm sorry I'm freaking out, but
why are you freaking me out?

[Tinny] Des, just relax.

[Des] Okay.

Whoa, oh my God, oh my God.

What do you want from me?

[Tinny] The bug.
You know, the bug we're here to plant?

[Des] Right, right, right.

Right, right, right, right.

The bug. Okay. Okay, I got it.

- I got--
[Vallis] - Alright... (Feedback)

[Mal] (Scream)

[Vallis] ...Don't move.

[Des] Okay.

(Screaming)

[Tinny] Uh, stab
him three times.

[Vallis] Are you sure?

[Tinny] Yeah, I'm a med student.

Trust me.

[Des] (Crying/screaming)

(Whimpering)

[Tinny] You know what?
He's gonna be just fine if we get---

We'd better go to the hospital.

Thank you.

(Phone ringing)

[Des] (Groaning)

[Tinny] Uncle Jake,
we got something.

[Jake] What is all this stuff?

[Mal] Looks like
Jessica's bank records.

[Clyde] How's that going to
help me get Jessica back?

(Whack)

[Jake] Ah!

(Commotion)

[Chili] Alright Clyde, my son.

Now we do this my way.

Don't make me use it.

Don't even think of it.

[Clyde] (Thud)

(Snoring)

[Chili] (Laughing)

[Jake] Should we go after him, or...
Ow, that hurt.

[
]

[Des] I mean, I feel fine.

I mean, I feel fine, like not
in like a wicked way, but okay

I just got, I just really got
some like, energy. I mean,

should I be at the hospital?

We should call Chandra.

[Tinny] I'll get right on that.

[Jake] Anyways, we gotta track
down Clyde, and I think we

should take on Chili.
I mean, he can't be that bad, right?

[Jake] Tell that to your back.

[Des] What was all that back there?
I mean, I mean are you

jealous or something of me and Chandra?
I mean, I'm really

confused, and why'd you make
him stab me three times?

[Tinny] I was playing the part, Des.
Get over yourself.

[Rose] Right. Okay, so according
to the file Tinny snagged for

us, Jessica had a deposit of
10g's to her bank account

the same day that Clyde's
100 went missing.

[Jake] Is that so?

[Des] (Smack)

Okay, Malachy, me and you, we're
going to go find Chili Powder.

Chili... Po-- Chili-- Chili-- Rose,
you search the neighbourhood,

just see what you can find.

[Jake] What-- What's with him?

Fine. You all have jobs to do.

I should go talk to Jessica...
alone.

(Clears throat)

[
]

[Neighbour] Can I help you?

[Rose] Oh, I see you
sold your house.

[Neighbour] Yeah. Oh, the bank,
they made us an amazing offer.

[Rose] Is that right?

[Neighbour] Mmm hmm.

[Rose] A lot of your
neighbours have sold too.

[Neighbour] Yeah, you know that
bank guy-- Uh, Jeff, Vallis,

something. He made us all huge offers.
Hard to say no.

[Rose] Apparently.

(Fog horn)

(Door opening)

[Mal] Chili?

(Ding)

[Mal] Greet all your
customers like this?

[Chili] Only the ones I like.
I don't suppose you got my money.

[Mal] Nope.

[Chili] You used to be a cop, huh?
I recall being busted by

you a few years back.

[Mal] Good for you.

Where's Clyde?

[Chili] Dead...
If you don't get my money.

[Mal] Well, I'll tell you what.

I think I have a way to find his money.
You don't hurt him,

you'll have it in 24 hours.

[Chili] 24 hours or the client ends up in St.
John's harbour.

[Mal] Show me he s
still alive first.

[Chili] Did you do this?

Huh?

(Whack!)

[Chili] Ugh!

(Yelp)

[Mal] I only half hit you,
so consider yourself lucky!

[Mal] Clyde!

Clyde!

(Tires screeching)

[Jake] Uh, Jess-- Jessica?

Jessica, sorry to trouble you.

[Jessica] You again.

[Jake] Hi. Listen, uh, I'm just curious.
You wouldn't happen to

know anything about Clyde's
missing $100,000, would you?

[Jessica] Clyde's?

Give me a break.

[Jake] So you didn't
find it on the lawn?

[Jessica] Look, I-- I know that
you had a crush on me your whole

life. I get that. But honestly,
don't you think it's time you

just got over it?

[Jake] I thought you
didn't remember me.

[Jessica] I didn't.

But then I did.

Same loser.

Same car.

[Jake] Oh, that's a different car, actually.
Maybe you can

explain to me, if you don't know
anything about Clyde's 100,000

bucks, where did you get the 10
grand that you deposited into

your bank account the day that
Clyde's money went missing?

[Jessica] Excuse me?

[Jake] Where did you
get the $10,000?

[Jessica] How and where I get my
money from anyone is none of

your business.

Creep.

(Phone ringing)

[Jake] Yeah?

[Clyde] I'm gonna kill Vallis.

I'm gonna kill him Jake.

He's banging Jessica and
he has my 100 G's.

[Jake] Clyde, where are you?

[Clyde] I'm at the bank.

I'm gonna kill him if
it kills me Jake.

Yeah.

[Jake] Ju-- Hold on.

[
]

(Chatter)

[Clyde] Jeff Vallis!

[Customer] What the hell?

[Jake] Clyde, what the
hell are you doing?

[Clyde] - Taking it...
[Customer] - Oh my God!

[Clyde] Jake, this has got to be done.
I'm gonna win this.

Jake, I am a winner and
I'm gonna win this!

[Customer] Oh my God!

[Clyde] Jeff Vallis!

I'm calling you out!

[Hostages] (Screams/gasps)

[Jake] Hold on. Hold on, okay?

I don't want some trigger happy
mall cop to kill the guy! Clyde?

[Clyde] - My wife...
[Jake] - Clyde.

[Clyde] - You were...
[Jake] - Clyde.

[Customer] Oh my God.

[Clyde] (Snoring)

(Thud)

[Jake] Clyde?

Clyde? Wake up Clyde!

[Clyde] (Snoring)

[Jake] What? Whoa.

What are you all do--
(Frightened chatter)

[Jake] Whoa, whoa, whoa...
Ooooh yes, b'y.

[Clyde] (Snoring)

[Jake] Okay, okay, okay,
everyone just stay calm.

(Frightened chatter)

[Jake] No, no, no, no, no, no.

I don't want your wallets.

I don't want--- Stop it!

Stop giving me your wallets!

This is not a robbery.

Everyone, this is not a robbery!

[Vallis] You're a terrorist.

Oh my God, he's a terrorist!

[Hostages] (Screams)

[Jake] No, no, no. No, no, no.

I am not a terrorist.

I am not a terrorist.

(Sigh)

(Bang)

[Chili] (Shouting)

(Gasping)

Bank job, huh?

[
]

[Rose] Hey, Des?

Hey, sweetheart, you okay?

[Des] I was asleep.

Where am I?

I'm in a different room.

Am I becoming like him?

Like Clyde?

Am I a narcoleptic?

[Rose] No, no, sweetheart.

It's just the adrenalin from
the allergy pen wearing off.

[Des] I mean, he didn't
bite me, did he?

(Phone ringing)

[Des] You can't catch narcolepsy
if you get bit by one.

[Rose] Oh. Just a sec.

[Rose] Hey Mal.

What? What?!

Jake what?!

[Rose] I gotta go, hun.

Take care. Bye.

[Des] Okay.

[Tinny] What's with you, spaz?

Get up.

[Des] You're acting super weird.

I can tell.

And I know you hate Chandra.

[Tinny] Okay, I hate Chandra
because she's a snobby little

jerk.
It has nothing to do with you.

[Des] Well, I don't know what you
want from me here. It's like

the minute I-- I don't show any
interest, you're all over me.

And then the next minute,
when I actually show you some

- attention, you treat
me like-- - Des!

[Des] What? It's true!

[Tinny] Shut up.

(Door shutting)

[Des] Is Jake robbing a bank?

[Chandra] Hi.

[Des] Hi.

[Chandra] Des, are you okay?

[Des] Yes, I'm fine. Yes. Yes.

[Jake] Put your hands down!

Put your hands down, now.

Okay?

Everyone just relax and breathe.

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

What are you doing?

Put the money back out
of your purse, okay?

Nobody steal anything.

We're not robbing
anything, okay?

Put it away.

This is all...
A horrible misunderstanding.

Alright, now we're just going
to relax here, alright?

Um... what we're going to do is, in a
few minutes, we'll all just go home,

pretend this never happened, and,
uh, no harm and, uh, and no foul.

[Leslie] Jake Doyle we
have you surrounded.

Come out with your hands up!

[Jake] Oh crap.

[Mal] How'd this happen?

[Rose] I have no clue.

[Mal] Hey Leslie, any idea
what he's doing in there?

[Leslie] He's robbing a bank.

[Rose] Oh dear lord.

[Jake] I gotta think here, I gotta think.
So, uh... everyone get up

and, uh, go over there to where
the guard is to, right there.

[Vallis] You said you weren't robbing
the place, right, so-- so...

[Jake] I'm not robbing the place, but
I still want you to do what I say.

So go, go, go. Go, go, go!

Everyone, keep going.

Keep going straight, straight, straight.
There you go.

Get over there, everyone.

[Clyde] Jake, are you
robbing the place?

Are you out of your mind?

[Jake] Oh, welcome back!

Dip shit.

Vallis?

[Vallis] Yeah. Yeah.

[Clyde] You son of a bitch!

[Jake] You! Stay!

Stay.

[Jake] Okay, Vallis. Sit.

Although Clyde here is the sole
reason I am in this predicament,

I am still gonna blame you and
I'm gonna shoot you if you don't

answer my questions directly.

Do you understand?

[Vallis] Yes.

[Jake] Okay. Clyde thinks that
you're screwing him over and

there are currently three
charges against you.

Number one,

he thinks that you're sleeping
with his wife, Jessica.

[Vallis] What? No.
That-- That's insane.

[Jake] I know. I totally agree
with you, because personally I--

I really don't think that you're her type.
I mean, the hair

color, the way you
dress, it's all wrong.

Anyway, charge number two,

he thinks that you stole
$100,000 from him. Looking at

you, I really don't think
you're that stupid.

[Vallis] I didn't rob
any 100 grand, no.

[Jake] That brings us
to charge number three,

that you foreclosed on his house
early and without just cause.

Right.

Now the question I have for you,
Mr. Vallis, is why?

(Phone ringing)

[Hostages] (Screams)

[Jake] Re-- relax, everyone.

It's a phone. Okay?

Just... (Phone ringing)

[Jake] Stay awake.

[Clyde] - Mmm...
[Jake] - Hello?

[Mal] Have you lost your mind?!

Why are you robbing a bank?!

[Jake] I am not robbing a bank.

[Mal] It sure looks
that way to me.

[Jake] Yeah, I know it looks that way, dad.
Thanks-- thanks

for the brilliant insight. Okay?

You just keep everyone out there calm,
and don't leave until you hear from me.

[Rose] Any luck?

[Mal] He hung up!

[Leslie] He what?

(Phone ringing)

[Mal] Yeah? This is Malachy.

[Chili] Tell your bank robbing
son to get me my money, or

Clyde's wife and her winning
attitude are toast.

[Jessica] Yeah, whoever this is, tell
Clyde to give this guy his money.

[Chili] (Snapping fingers)

You have one hour.

(Phone ringing)

[Leslie] Jake! Answer the phone!

[Jake] Alright Clyde, let's just
get this all over with, okay? We

know that you foreclosed on
Clyde too early and you bought

every house on the street for
over market value. What are you

cooking up and how
is Jessica involved?

[Vallis] Okay, look, look, I-- I--
I did not sleep with her. No, no.

I just, uh, I-- I, uh, paid
her a few bucks to help me.

[Jake] Help you do what?

[Vallis] I was using my position
here at the bank. I was buying

up all the land. I had a deal
with his, uh, his wife. If-- if

she was able to get him,
alright, to miss the payments,

I-- I'd foreclose and, uh...
I-- I'd give her a percentage.

[Hostages] (Chatter)

[Jake] Percentage of what?

Percentage of what?

[Vallis] There-- There's an oil discovery.
Apparently it was

huge. I cut her in.
We were-- We were gonna get rich. That's it.

[Clyde] She sold me out.

Jessica.

(Phone ringing)

(Jake's cell phone ringing)

[Jake] Yeah? Uh, dad, I am, uh, what
you'd call kind of busy, so what is it?

[Mal] The loan
shark's got Jessica.

[Jake] Alright.

You wait for my signal.

(Phone ringing)

[Leslie] Answer the phone or
I'll get the snipers shooting.

Try me!

[Jake] Okay, okay! Hold on!

[Jake] Hi there.

[Leslie] Jake!

[Jake] Look, I just want you to
know that the way this is all

playing out is not at all how it's actually...
Playing out.

[Leslie] Get the
hell out here now.

[Jake] Okay. I'll tell you what I'll do.
I'll release all of the...

[Leslie] Hostages?

[Jake] They're not hostages.

They're people. Bank people.

People in a bank.
And I'm, I'm just gonna get all-- I'm gonna

release them. And then, uh, you
wait a couple of minutes, and

then you, you come in and you get me.
And Leslie, feel free to

be rough with me, because
I tell you, I deserve it.

[
]

[Clyde] Don't shoot, don't shoot!

He's letting us go!

[Leslie] Everyone
just stay calm.

[Hostages] (Chatter)

[Leslie] Stay calm!

[
]

[Leslie] Move in!

[Cop] Move in!

[Leslie] Put the gun down now!

On your knees!

[Vallis] (Muffled noise)

[Leslie] Jake!?

[
]

(Rip)

[Vallis] Ah!

[Leslie] Where is he?

[Vallis] J just wanted to
make some money. I'm sorry.

[Cop] We got a man down
here behind the counter.

[Leslie] Jake, you
son of a frigger.

(Engine revving)

(Tires screeching)

[
]

[Chili] I trust you
got me my money?

[Mal] Um... sort of.

[Chili] Sort of?

This man just robbed a bank.

[Jake] - Okay, look, I didn't--
[Clyde] - Listen. No, just-- just

give me a second please.
Just-- Jessica, I'm led to believe that

you... Jessica...
Screwed me over.

Did you take my 100 grand?

[Jessica] Yes, I screwed you over,
but I never took your money.

[Clyde] You and Vallis...
You sold me out.

Why?

[Jessica] My future.

You could never give me one,
so I-- I had to make my own.

[Chili] I am so
sick of this crap.

[Jake] Yeah, I know.
A lot of people are, okay? Just wait.

[Chili] I saw you on the tv.

You were robbing a bank,
now give me my money.

[Clyde] Oh, I'm...
Starting to f-- f-- feel sleepy.

[Jessica] Here with go
with the falling asleep.

[Clyde] Whoa... (Thud)

(Snoring)

[Jake] Okay, look, I didn't rob a bank.
Ok-- Uh, uh, uh,

it's complicated.

[Chili] You know what?
I'm just gonna kill you guys. Get it over

with. And when Clyde wakes up, I'm
gonna play baseball with his

kneecaps until he remembers
where he stashed my friggin'

money.

[Clyde] Hey Chili.

(Whack)

[Jake] Nice.

[Clyde] I suppose I'll be getting
out of everyone's hair now.

[Jake] Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Clyde, buddy! Clyde!

Just-- just-- just, uh--
Just put the gun down.

[Mal] I-- I-- I think we've
done all we can here.

[Clyde] There's
nothing left for me.

[Mal] Clyde, think
about this now.

[Clyde] Jessica, she's never
going to take me back.

[Clyde] I might as well jump.

[Jessica] Clyde, honey, don't.

I'm sorry. Okay? I'm sorry about
the house, about everything.

- Just...
[Clyde] - Jessica.

You're saying that
there's a chance?

[Jessica] God no.

But I never meant to hurt you.

[Clyde] (Deep breath)

[Jake] Now Clyde you
give me the gun.

Give me the gun.

Okay.

Life's too short for you to spend
it with someone who hates

your guts.

Take it from me.

[Clyde] Alright.

Thank you.

[Leslie] Jake Doyle, we have you surrounded!
Come out with your

hands up!

[Jake] Uh oh.

[Female cop] Come with me.

[Male cop] Watch
your step there.

[Jake] (Sigh)

You know Clyde, we never did
find out what happened to

your $100,000 after.

(Dirt bike)

[Clyde] That freakin' kid.

Buzzing up and down this road,
delivering his paper on that bike.

(Dirt bike)

[Clyde] Well, that
one looks like a...

[Jake] ...
Like a brand new dirt bike.

[Leslie] Come on, Jake.

[Jake] Where're we going?

[Leslie] Jail.

[Jake] I'll see you later dad.

[Mal] Yeah.

[Jake] Good luck, Clyde.

[Clyde] Thanks Jake.

[Mal] Watch this.

(Dirt bike)

[Mal] Hey!

[Mal] Nice bike you got there.

[Neighbour] What do you
want with my son?

[Clyde] Yeah, what's
going on here?

[Mal] Did you get your newspaper
the day your 100g's went

missing?

[Clyde] No, but I'm
not following you.

[Mal] So there's a chance your
wife wasn't the only one who saw

you passed out in front
of your car that day?

[Clyde] Oh...
You little shagger.

(Police siren)

[Clyde] You stole my
money, didn't you?

[Mal] My guess is when you fell
asleep, Clyde, the kid was

grabbing his papers for the next
day and found the briefcase full

of cash.

[Clyde] (Groan)

[Mal] Here we are.

[Clyde] Where's my money?

[Neighbour] You told me you won
that money on scratch tickets at

the store.

[Clyde] Where's my money and
how much do you have left?!

[
]

[Clyde] (Laughing)

(Groan)

[
]

[Chandra] Tinny stabbed you?

[Des] Well, not physically, but
she instructed someone to.

[Chandra] Well I'm glad you're okay.
And if you want I can

prescribe some medication.

[Des] Oh, that'd-- that'd be great
actually, but can you make

sure there's no steroids in it,
because I don't want to get any

bigger?

[Chandra] Not that
kind of medication.

[Des] Whoa, okay, okay, okay.

Actually, um... um, about that.

[Chandra] What's going on Des?

This is about Tinny, isn't it?

[Des] Uh, no. Tinny? No.
We're-- we're friends.

[Chandra] Really?

[Des] Yeah. Okay... okay.

This is, um, this is about us.

I think... you're really pretty.

I think you're really funny.

I think you're really smart.

I think you're fun.

[Chandra] Just say it, Des.

[Des] I don't think I'm ready to
be in this relationship with

you.

[Chandra] Fine.

Fine.

You take care of yourself, Des.

[Walter] I think this is the
real trouble pal. I-- I don't

know how I'm going to get you out of this.
All for that mope

Clyde cowley.

Talk about your bad luck.

[Jake] Hey, how did
it go with Jessica?

[Walter] She lost
interest pretty quickly.

[Jake] Ah. Sorry, buddy.

[Walter] We made out.

Felt her boob a bit.

[Jake] You know, that was my
exact fantasy about her in high

school.

(Door opening/closing)

[Leslie] Jake, I don't know what to tell you.
You're caught on

tape robbing a bank, misleading
police, evading police,

possession of a firearm, and
don't even get me started on

Chili Power.

[Jake] Well, when you stack the
things all up against each other

like that, it does look kind of...
Yeah.

[Leslie] Is there anything
you want to tell me here?

[Walter] I would
advise you not to.

[Jake] That's a nice outfit.

[Leslie] Look, something tells me,
having watched the tapes of

the bank robbery, that you weren't
there to steal anything.

[Jake] But you don't have any
wiggle room to get me out.

[Leslie] I'm sorry.
I told you your crap was gonna get you into

trouble, and now it has.

(Door opening)

[Leslie] Looks you're gonna be
bunking in Her Majesty's pen for

some time.

[
]

[Jake] Home sweet home.

[
]

Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com

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