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1
00:00:10,803 --> 00:00:13,757
Hello America.
2
00:00:13,923 --> 00:00:16,765
You probably get this all the time
but still it's got to be said.
3
00:00:16,890 --> 00:00:19,557
That uniform just pops on you.
4
00:00:19,723 --> 00:00:21,117
Bored of hearing it yeah?
5
00:00:21,283 --> 00:00:22,997
I just need you to fill out
the form please sir.
6
00:00:23,163 --> 00:00:25,529
Want me to put my phone number too?
7
00:00:32,490 --> 00:00:35,397
Falls! Yeah!
8
00:00:38,090 --> 00:00:40,117
Just Barry? No last name?
9
00:00:40,283 --> 00:00:43,085
Yeah. You know like Prince.
10
00:00:43,210 --> 00:00:46,085
What was your original name?
David Fletcher.
11
00:00:46,210 --> 00:00:49,637
But you wanted a bit of pizzazz
so you changed it to Barry?
12
00:00:49,803 --> 00:00:53,237
It was my friends. They... they
changed it behind my back as a joke.
13
00:00:53,403 --> 00:00:55,077
You need to get some new friends.
14
00:01:01,283 --> 00:01:04,117
Do I look like a rose bush? Adil?
15
00:01:04,283 --> 00:01:05,837
Do I?!
16
00:01:06,003 --> 00:01:08,037
So why are you giving me this shit?
17
00:01:08,203 --> 00:01:10,157
I told you I'm working
for the summer.
18
00:01:10,323 --> 00:01:12,597
And what exactly
will you be doing at this camp?
19
00:01:12,763 --> 00:01:14,757
- Coaching football.
- You play?
20
00:01:14,923 --> 00:01:16,437
- What position?
- Centre half.
21
00:01:17,763 --> 00:01:20,797
Son there's no such position
on a football field.
22
00:01:20,963 --> 00:01:23,690
You want to start
rethinking this story?
23
00:01:24,883 --> 00:01:26,765
What the fuck
are they doing to him in there?
24
00:01:26,890 --> 00:01:28,637
I don't know. Rubber-gloving him?
25
00:01:28,803 --> 00:01:31,117
Could work out well for us. They
might find that stick up his arse.
26
00:01:32,810 --> 00:01:34,677
You all right mate?
27
00:01:35,169 --> 00:01:37,037
Mother Fuckers!
28
00:01:37,203 --> 00:01:40,117
Did they fiddle with your bottom?
Shall we get you a special cushion?
29
00:01:40,283 --> 00:01:43,277
Yeah isn't racial
profiling hilarious?
30
00:01:43,443 --> 00:01:46,037
Yeah you wait till they start
targeting the badly dressed.
31
00:01:47,963 --> 00:01:50,557
You all right back there?
Never better.
32
00:01:50,723 --> 00:01:53,037
Whoa. Where did you get that from?
I brought it with me.
33
00:01:53,203 --> 00:01:55,885
Barry if you get caught with that...
It's just a bit of weed man. Relax.
34
00:01:56,010 --> 00:01:58,237
I taped it under my deodorant.
It's out of order mate.
35
00:01:58,403 --> 00:02:01,597
I mean if you got deodorant use it.
36
00:02:06,690 --> 00:02:08,925
We're down with the beautiful
people now boys.
37
00:02:09,050 --> 00:02:10,557
This is how the other half live.
38
00:02:10,723 --> 00:02:12,557
Yeah? Well how rich are we talking?
39
00:02:12,723 --> 00:02:16,285
Porno rich. Won't be one kid here
whose folks aren't millionaires.
40
00:02:16,410 --> 00:02:18,517
Good work man good work!
41
00:02:20,683 --> 00:02:23,557
So if this place is really all that
why are they employing us?
42
00:02:23,810 --> 00:02:27,485
Cos I said to them on the phone
43
00:02:27,610 --> 00:02:30,717
I said all we want is a chance
to rise above our humble origins
44
00:02:30,883 --> 00:02:32,837
to be all we can be.
45
00:02:33,003 --> 00:02:35,157
To be judged
not on the content of our wallets
46
00:02:35,323 --> 00:02:37,885
but on the content of our characters.
47
00:02:38,010 --> 00:02:40,837
To live the American dream.
You are so full of shit.
48
00:02:41,003 --> 00:02:43,917
It beats stacking shelves down Asda.
49
00:03:21,763 --> 00:03:25,117
Sync by Yvon :)
Episode 1x01
50
00:03:25,283 --> 00:03:27,477
Ground rules gentlemen.
51
00:03:27,643 --> 00:03:32,717
No alcohol. No drugs.
No sex. Curfew is 10pm.
52
00:03:32,883 --> 00:03:38,037
Anyone caught fraternising with the
opposite sex after that big trouble.
53
00:03:38,203 --> 00:03:41,557
These are young impressionable minds.
54
00:03:41,723 --> 00:03:45,085
But one day soon these kids
will be running the world
55
00:03:45,210 --> 00:03:48,557
and I want to make sure
right-thinking people are in charge.
56
00:03:48,723 --> 00:03:51,077
Well amen to that.
57
00:03:53,810 --> 00:03:56,917
I'm so glad you share my concerns.
58
00:03:57,083 --> 00:03:58,717
You are on a working holiday
gentlemen
59
00:03:58,883 --> 00:04:03,677
and that phrase the word "working"
comes before the word "holiday" yes?
60
00:04:03,843 --> 00:04:06,957
But let's be clear.
61
00:04:07,123 --> 00:04:09,845
Any one of you breaks my rules
62
00:04:09,970 --> 00:04:13,965
and all three of you
will be on the first plane home.
63
00:04:14,090 --> 00:04:15,437
Dismissed.
64
00:04:44,214 --> 00:04:46,157
Man we could have
some parties in here.
65
00:04:46,323 --> 00:04:48,610
Well not according to this.
66
00:04:52,803 --> 00:04:54,597
I mean who are the beds for anyway?
67
00:04:55,050 --> 00:04:56,757
The kids.
68
00:04:56,923 --> 00:05:00,197
We get five kids to look after.
I told you that didn't I?
69
00:05:00,363 --> 00:05:01,885
Whoa you didn't say
we were sleeping in with them.
70
00:05:02,010 --> 00:05:04,037
Didn't I? Where did you think
we were going to be?
71
00:05:04,203 --> 00:05:07,965
Well I don't know. In a room on our
own. A bit of privacy.
72
00:05:08,090 --> 00:05:09,645
So if we're working all day
73
00:05:09,770 --> 00:05:11,405
and then looking after the kids
the rest of the time
74
00:05:11,530 --> 00:05:12,645
at what exact point
75
00:05:12,770 --> 00:05:15,285
are we supposed to have this
awesome summer you sold us?
76
00:05:15,410 --> 00:05:17,757
Guys have I ever let you down?
BOTH: Yes.
77
00:05:17,923 --> 00:05:18,917
They're teenagers yeah?
78
00:05:19,083 --> 00:05:21,045
They want to get wasted
and get off with people.
79
00:05:21,170 --> 00:05:23,845
And by happy coincidence so do we.
80
00:05:23,970 --> 00:05:26,037
There's a beautiful synergy here.
81
00:05:26,203 --> 00:05:29,485
They won't want us cramping their
style and vice versa.
82
00:05:29,610 --> 00:05:31,357
And what about me?
What about you?
83
00:05:31,523 --> 00:05:33,757
My thing.
84
00:05:33,923 --> 00:05:37,925
The sleepwalking?
85
00:05:38,050 --> 00:05:40,245
OK I admit I'd forgotten about that.
86
00:05:40,563 --> 00:05:41,685
Oh fucking classic.
87
00:05:41,810 --> 00:05:44,037
Hey this has got disaster
written all over it.
88
00:05:44,203 --> 00:05:46,725
Let's worry about the kids
when they get here OK?
89
00:05:46,850 --> 00:05:49,117
Now are we going to break the ice
with our new colleagues or what?
90
00:05:49,283 --> 00:05:51,330
Oh hold on.
I have to get ready first.
91
00:05:57,450 --> 00:05:59,845
Who said the art of
seduction was dead?
92
00:05:59,970 --> 00:06:01,717
That's really going to impress
the beautiful people.
93
00:06:01,883 --> 00:06:05,245
Yeah well bearing in mind
the drunken orgy you sold us
94
00:06:05,370 --> 00:06:07,325
is rapidly turning into a crapfest
95
00:06:07,450 --> 00:06:10,037
I have my doubts as to how
beautiful they'll be anyway.
96
00:06:13,523 --> 00:06:15,957
OK I take it back.
97
00:06:19,290 --> 00:06:22,890
What's great about this
is how I fit seamlessly in.
98
00:06:26,090 --> 00:06:27,709
Hello ladies.
99
00:06:36,723 --> 00:06:39,930
Well rule three Flynn.
No sex remember?
100
00:06:41,370 --> 00:06:45,525
Zoinks. Check it out two o'clock.
They aren't zoinks. They're girls.
101
00:06:45,650 --> 00:06:47,645
We've been through this.
They're not like sausage rolls.
102
00:06:47,770 --> 00:06:51,005
Hands off. I saw her I called her.
She's zoinksed.
103
00:06:51,130 --> 00:06:55,157
You see this is why you're a
virgin unrealistic expectations.
104
00:06:55,323 --> 00:06:57,597
For the last time I'm not a virgin.
105
00:06:57,763 --> 00:07:01,170
Hey just cos your love life's
fucked don't take it out on me.
106
00:07:02,410 --> 00:07:04,450
He didn't mean that.
107
00:07:23,210 --> 00:07:26,205
Hi.
108
00:07:26,330 --> 00:07:29,405
I'm Barry.
Hello Barry.
109
00:07:29,530 --> 00:07:31,770
I'm Kimberley.
110
00:07:35,530 --> 00:07:38,245
OK you planning on
saying anything else?
111
00:07:38,370 --> 00:07:41,357
I'm thinking.
Oh he's thinking.
112
00:07:43,883 --> 00:07:46,037
He's still thinking?
113
00:07:47,625 --> 00:07:49,410
No rush I've got all summer.
114
00:07:53,803 --> 00:07:55,730
You'll be wanting some of this.
115
00:07:57,610 --> 00:08:00,757
You read my mind.
One of my many talents.
116
00:08:00,923 --> 00:08:03,325
Really?
117
00:08:03,450 --> 00:08:04,805
So what am I thinking now?
118
00:08:04,930 --> 00:08:08,085
You're thinking
this party's all very well
119
00:08:08,210 --> 00:08:11,317
but there's probably more fun
to be had elsewhere.
120
00:08:14,610 --> 00:08:17,037
I think you're the
prettiest girl here.
121
00:08:19,450 --> 00:08:20,805
OK maybe not the prettiest
122
00:08:20,930 --> 00:08:22,885
but you're right up there
like top five.
123
00:08:23,010 --> 00:08:24,839
Oh Barry.
124
00:08:25,530 --> 00:08:27,525
You know what I think?
125
00:08:27,650 --> 00:08:30,117
I think you're stoned.
126
00:08:30,283 --> 00:08:31,917
You got any more?
127
00:08:33,770 --> 00:08:36,725
The trouble is
er... I'm new around here.
128
00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:39,077
I'd hate to wander off
into these woods alone.
129
00:08:39,243 --> 00:08:42,605
Very wise.
Anything could be out there.
130
00:08:42,730 --> 00:08:44,717
On the prowl.
131
00:08:45,923 --> 00:08:49,490
You have no new messages.
132
00:09:03,010 --> 00:09:05,410
Might help if you'd talk about it.
133
00:09:06,563 --> 00:09:09,317
I'm contractually obliged
to say that.
134
00:09:09,483 --> 00:09:11,205
Yeah?
135
00:09:11,330 --> 00:09:14,325
I er... I get paid on commission.
I'm the camp guidance counsellor.
136
00:09:14,450 --> 00:09:16,605
So every tissue I administer
137
00:09:16,730 --> 00:09:20,117
every secret confided in me
ker-ching. Ha-ha.
138
00:09:20,283 --> 00:09:21,997
I guess you know
where all the bodies are buried.
139
00:09:22,163 --> 00:09:24,165
Well I'm not sure about the bodies
140
00:09:24,290 --> 00:09:26,717
but I do know who got to second base
with Ryan MacIntyre.
141
00:09:26,883 --> 00:09:30,917
Actually that's who I was calling.
He's not worth it.
142
00:09:31,083 --> 00:09:33,645
Yeah he said I had nice eyes.
143
00:09:33,770 --> 00:09:36,285
Told me I was the one.
I'm Adil by the way.
144
00:09:36,410 --> 00:09:38,557
Oh. Rachael.
145
00:09:38,723 --> 00:09:41,525
My mates call me A-Rab.
146
00:09:41,650 --> 00:09:43,725
Don't you mind?
Well yeah.
147
00:09:43,850 --> 00:09:46,197
Well when the wrong people use it
yeah.
148
00:09:48,170 --> 00:09:50,357
Do you want to know a secret of mine?
149
00:09:50,610 --> 00:09:53,445
I've been here for eight hours
150
00:09:53,570 --> 00:09:57,690
and you're the first person
I haven't felt intimidated by.
151
00:09:59,170 --> 00:10:01,637
I never realised I was such a
hillbilly till I came here.
152
00:10:08,250 --> 00:10:10,277
Good work.
153
00:10:10,443 --> 00:10:12,165
You know we spent the whole
of last summer
154
00:10:12,290 --> 00:10:13,805
looking for a dealer around here?
155
00:10:13,930 --> 00:10:16,445
Nothing. It's a weed-free zone.
156
00:10:16,570 --> 00:10:19,125
Yeah? You still came back though.
157
00:10:19,250 --> 00:10:21,125
Yeah.
158
00:10:21,250 --> 00:10:23,125
I loved it.
159
00:10:23,250 --> 00:10:26,570
What cabin are you?
Um... 17.
160
00:10:28,170 --> 00:10:29,525
What?
161
00:10:29,650 --> 00:10:31,610
Nothing.
162
00:10:33,290 --> 00:10:36,205
So who's the hot guy you were with?
163
00:10:36,330 --> 00:10:39,085
What hot guy? Oh Flynn?
164
00:10:39,210 --> 00:10:41,925
Yeah it's a shame
about all the Chlamydia.
165
00:10:42,050 --> 00:10:46,325
It's not funny.
He's riddled with it.
166
00:10:46,450 --> 00:10:48,965
And he's gay. He is.
167
00:10:49,090 --> 00:10:51,685
All right he's not.
But he is teaching drama.
168
00:10:51,810 --> 00:10:54,770
Oh so he's at least bi.
169
00:10:57,770 --> 00:11:01,325
Let me guess. You're here
to run the computer room?
170
00:11:01,450 --> 00:11:03,445
How did you know that?
The complexion.
171
00:11:03,570 --> 00:11:05,605
Yeah what are you head of tanning?
172
00:11:05,730 --> 00:11:08,397
No. Guess.
173
00:11:08,563 --> 00:11:10,610
Computer room groupie?
174
00:11:13,890 --> 00:11:16,045
Just for reference what would happen
175
00:11:16,170 --> 00:11:18,397
if I tried to
get off with you right now?
176
00:11:18,563 --> 00:11:21,410
I'd stub this out in your eye.
Thought so.
177
00:11:22,410 --> 00:11:24,085
Thanks.
178
00:11:24,210 --> 00:11:27,757
Look. Just so we're clear
me and you never going to happen.
179
00:11:27,923 --> 00:11:30,877
Well you say that now...
180
00:11:31,043 --> 00:11:32,965
Babe? Is that you?
181
00:11:33,090 --> 00:11:35,405
Whoa. It's the boyfriend.
182
00:11:35,530 --> 00:11:37,765
Course. There's a boyfriend.
183
00:11:37,890 --> 00:11:40,485
Just to stack the odds even further.
184
00:11:40,610 --> 00:11:43,050
Let me guess.
A square jaw really buff.
185
00:11:44,130 --> 00:11:47,045
There you are.
You're missing the party. What's up?
186
00:11:47,170 --> 00:11:50,597
I'm just making a new friend.
Jake this is Barry.
187
00:11:50,763 --> 00:11:52,557
Barry.
188
00:11:52,723 --> 00:11:55,757
Good to meet you buddy.
Ow that's a handshake.
189
00:11:55,923 --> 00:11:58,165
Thanks. British right?
190
00:11:58,290 --> 00:11:59,717
Nice tan.
You been working on it for a while?
191
00:11:59,883 --> 00:12:01,797
Ha-ha. Yeah.
192
00:12:01,963 --> 00:12:04,245
Barry it's been lovely.
193
00:12:04,370 --> 00:12:07,637
Come on let's get you back.
All right.
194
00:12:07,803 --> 00:12:08,845
I'm only joking buddy.
195
00:12:08,970 --> 00:12:11,690
I know you Brits pride yourselves
on your sense of'umour.
196
00:12:32,483 --> 00:12:36,357
Now that we've broken the ice
maybe you should put this on.
197
00:12:36,523 --> 00:12:38,837
I don't believe we've been
formally introduced.
198
00:12:39,090 --> 00:12:42,210
You can cut
the Hugh Grant crap honey.
199
00:12:43,330 --> 00:12:44,565
You're a sex tourist
200
00:12:44,690 --> 00:12:49,485
and I'm the kind of woman that brings
a hip flask to an alcohol-free party.
201
00:12:49,610 --> 00:12:51,890
Now I like you even more.
202
00:12:56,370 --> 00:12:58,797
Why don't I give you a hand?
203
00:13:06,610 --> 00:13:08,797
God bless America.
204
00:13:17,170 --> 00:13:19,605
Attention all staff!
Attention!
205
00:13:19,730 --> 00:13:21,997
The campers are ten minutes away!
Ten minutes!
206
00:13:22,163 --> 00:13:25,397
Would all staff gather
on the front right immediately!
207
00:13:25,563 --> 00:13:29,077
Oh yeah some holiday Flynn!
208
00:13:29,243 --> 00:13:31,437
So what are we looking at?
209
00:13:31,603 --> 00:13:33,917
That's the one from last night.
Which one?
210
00:13:34,083 --> 00:13:35,677
Green shirt.
211
00:13:35,843 --> 00:13:38,677
A trip to the land of milf
and honeys. Mm-mm!
212
00:13:38,843 --> 00:13:41,597
Your attention.
213
00:13:41,763 --> 00:13:43,517
Your attention please.
214
00:13:43,683 --> 00:13:45,445
Well! Here we are again.
215
00:13:45,570 --> 00:13:47,845
Another summer about to begin.
216
00:13:47,970 --> 00:13:50,757
I'm sure we're going to
have a lot of fun.
217
00:13:50,923 --> 00:13:55,797
But you must never let your fun
interfere with your responsibilities.
218
00:13:55,963 --> 00:14:02,045
Because the people on those buses
is what this summer is really about.
219
00:14:02,170 --> 00:14:05,445
For the next two months
you are their brothers
220
00:14:05,570 --> 00:14:08,077
their sisters
their surrogate parents.
221
00:14:08,330 --> 00:14:13,877
You are their teacher
their cheerleader their best friend
222
00:14:14,043 --> 00:14:15,797
and their moral compass.
223
00:14:15,963 --> 00:14:20,409
Remember that and go and give them
the best summer they've ever had!
224
00:15:44,963 --> 00:15:47,050
Guys I'd like you
to meet your campers.
225
00:15:55,083 --> 00:15:58,517
I've got sweat rash. Which one of
you all's going to do the honours?
226
00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:06,875
Intolerable. Absolutely intolerable.
Carrying luggage in this heat?
227
00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:09,755
I'll write a strongly worded letter.
228
00:16:09,880 --> 00:16:11,107
Sorry say that again.
229
00:16:11,273 --> 00:16:14,555
I said don't be using my real name.
230
00:16:14,680 --> 00:16:18,827
Yo call me Smallie. Smallie Big.
231
00:16:18,993 --> 00:16:21,627
You got a problem with my AKA?
You conceited piece of...
232
00:16:21,793 --> 00:16:24,227
Oh I'm conceited?
Take a look in the mirror Smallie.
233
00:16:24,393 --> 00:16:26,907
He's every bit as privileged as me.
234
00:16:27,160 --> 00:16:29,507
Despite his absurd cliched posturing.
235
00:16:29,673 --> 00:16:33,547
You ain't careful I pop a cap
in your big jelly ass Rick Junior.
236
00:16:33,713 --> 00:16:35,827
You two know each other then?
Man...
237
00:16:35,993 --> 00:16:40,027
I've had the last three summers
ruined by the Great Fats.
238
00:16:40,193 --> 00:16:43,675
Ah a literary reference.
How refreshing!
239
00:16:43,800 --> 00:16:47,875
Don't patronise me.
I read books and shit...
240
00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:51,555
This is going to be so neat.
I've never been to camp before.
241
00:16:51,680 --> 00:16:55,115
Do you like rabbits Mr Hussain?
Yeah yeah I suppose.
242
00:16:55,240 --> 00:16:58,795
I've got a rabbit at home called
Eliza. I love rabbits.
243
00:16:58,920 --> 00:17:00,800
I love anything snuggly.
244
00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:05,435
I mean this is total bullshit.
245
00:17:05,560 --> 00:17:08,715
There's no way I should be in here
with these fat losers.
246
00:17:08,840 --> 00:17:11,395
No way.
247
00:17:11,520 --> 00:17:14,235
It's a social death sentence.
248
00:17:14,360 --> 00:17:16,187
You all right back there mate?
249
00:17:17,560 --> 00:17:21,475
What's up with him? Don't waste
your time. He never talks.
250
00:17:21,600 --> 00:17:26,079
What am I? A Mexican? This jacket
is hand-stitched. Hand-stitched!
251
00:17:27,953 --> 00:17:29,827
Welcome back you fat fucks.
252
00:17:29,993 --> 00:17:31,787
Yeah we got a whole summer of pain
for you guys.
253
00:17:31,953 --> 00:17:35,355
Boys is that really any way
to welcome our old friends back?
254
00:17:35,480 --> 00:17:37,955
My apologies. Guess these guys
are just excited to be here.
255
00:17:38,080 --> 00:17:40,587
Hey Jake. It's me.
256
00:17:40,753 --> 00:17:43,195
Brandon. B-Dog.
257
00:17:43,320 --> 00:17:46,587
There's been some kind of mistake.
Why aren't I in with you guys?
258
00:17:48,793 --> 00:17:51,667
It's just a bit of extra weight.
I'll lose it in no time.
259
00:17:51,833 --> 00:17:54,947
Sorry who are you lard-ass?
Oh!
260
00:17:58,640 --> 00:18:02,307
See all that matters is what cabin
you in. Every clique's got its own.
261
00:18:02,473 --> 00:18:08,627
Got your plastics your Christians
your goths your stoners your skaters
262
00:18:08,793 --> 00:18:13,147
and then way down
the bottom of the pile us.
263
00:18:13,313 --> 00:18:17,507
Ah the Chunk Bunk
where summers go to die.
264
00:18:17,673 --> 00:18:19,960
Everything all right boys?
265
00:18:22,480 --> 00:18:24,515
Man she is looking fine.
266
00:18:24,640 --> 00:18:27,507
Hasn't been a night since last summer
where I haven't dreamt about her.
267
00:18:27,673 --> 00:18:30,227
And woken up sticky.
268
00:18:30,393 --> 00:18:33,435
Who is she anyway? His assistant?
Pammy his assistant?
269
00:18:33,560 --> 00:18:35,600
She's his wife.
270
00:18:38,360 --> 00:18:40,355
I call shots on them bunks losers.
271
00:18:40,480 --> 00:18:44,387
Long as I'm nowhere near Rick
Junior. Yeah whatever dickwad.
272
00:18:44,553 --> 00:18:47,147
I'm sure one day we'll look back
and laugh at this.
273
00:18:47,313 --> 00:18:49,267
You fucking gonad.
274
00:18:49,433 --> 00:18:50,995
We're surrounded by beautiful women
275
00:18:51,120 --> 00:18:54,587
but your cock makes a beeline
for the boss's wife.
276
00:18:58,000 --> 00:18:59,555
Say it!
Say you sucked a dog's dick!
277
00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:02,759
You sucked a dog's dick!
278
00:19:09,040 --> 00:19:11,635
I actually want to kill them.
279
00:19:11,760 --> 00:19:14,075
Join the queue.
280
00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:16,360
How's Eric?
281
00:19:17,873 --> 00:19:21,867
"Come to America" you said.
"Best summer ever" you said.
282
00:19:22,033 --> 00:19:25,199
This is bullshit.
Sort it out Flynn.
283
00:19:26,959 --> 00:19:27,889
Get down!
284
00:19:31,720 --> 00:19:34,875
So what are we doing tomorrow?
What?
285
00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:38,915
It says here "The day
after you arrive it's Rookie Day.
286
00:19:39,040 --> 00:19:43,315
"The counsellors will arrange
a unique day of no-holds-barred fun
287
00:19:43,753 --> 00:19:45,907
"for you to remember forever."
288
00:19:46,073 --> 00:19:47,755
Last year was awesome.
289
00:19:47,880 --> 00:19:50,307
Jake took us in a helicopter
then we drove tanks.
290
00:19:50,473 --> 00:19:52,075
So what are we doing?
291
00:19:52,200 --> 00:19:55,395
Wait and see.
Great. I love surprises.
292
00:19:55,520 --> 00:19:57,947
Brandon! Don't!
293
00:19:58,113 --> 00:20:00,000
What's wrong with you?
294
00:20:01,240 --> 00:20:03,267
We're bored. You guys suck at this.
295
00:20:03,433 --> 00:20:05,707
Motherfuckers!
296
00:20:07,720 --> 00:20:11,319
Which sick little bastard did this?
297
00:20:12,833 --> 00:20:16,347
Who wanked... in my flipflop?
298
00:20:17,560 --> 00:20:19,987
Jizz...
299
00:20:20,153 --> 00:20:22,395
Did you do this?
300
00:20:22,520 --> 00:20:25,987
You wipe that grin off your face
or I will wipe it off with this.
301
00:20:26,240 --> 00:20:29,107
I said was this you!
302
00:20:29,273 --> 00:20:33,795
He can't help it.
He's a compulsive masturbator.
303
00:20:33,920 --> 00:20:37,027
He's got a note from his doctor
and everything.
304
00:20:37,193 --> 00:20:39,827
This... this isn't funny.
It is dude.
305
00:20:39,993 --> 00:20:44,267
Especially because
you're in the bunk underneath him.
306
00:20:44,433 --> 00:20:48,667
An entire fucking summer?!
307
00:21:05,320 --> 00:21:07,560
What the fuck?
308
00:21:08,720 --> 00:21:10,680
Come back here you little shit!
309
00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:17,199
Guys I can explain!
310
00:21:23,240 --> 00:21:25,867
Open it!
Open the fucking door now!
311
00:21:26,033 --> 00:21:27,875
You little shit!
What's going on?
312
00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:30,987
Open the door!
Come out pervert!
313
00:21:31,153 --> 00:21:34,387
It's all a bit of a misunderstanding.
Dude why are you naked?
314
00:21:34,553 --> 00:21:37,707
Fuck you up! Every possible sense!
315
00:21:37,873 --> 00:21:42,787
We're all angry now. We ain't giving
in until we've punched some flesh!
316
00:21:45,120 --> 00:21:48,120
... so far up your ass!
No don't.
317
00:21:53,600 --> 00:21:56,107
Look guys it's Rookie Day.
318
00:21:56,273 --> 00:21:59,507
We've got things we'd rather be
doing. Let's skip the foreplay here.
319
00:21:59,760 --> 00:22:03,155
Why doesn't one of you just come
out and take what's coming?
320
00:22:03,280 --> 00:22:05,235
You know like a man.
We'll respect you more.
321
00:22:05,360 --> 00:22:07,427
Or why don't you go fuck yourself?
322
00:22:09,360 --> 00:22:12,667
See this is what pisses me off
this unwillingness to negotiate.
323
00:22:12,833 --> 00:22:14,875
We'll negotiate!
324
00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:17,240
Y'all can have the Muslim.
325
00:22:18,873 --> 00:22:20,867
What? It's his mess.
326
00:22:21,033 --> 00:22:23,307
Is there a problem here?
327
00:22:23,473 --> 00:22:27,587
Oh it's just Rookie Day hijinks
sir. You know.
328
00:22:30,920 --> 00:22:33,547
What is going on?
Nothing sir.
329
00:22:33,713 --> 00:22:35,867
You kids OK?
330
00:22:38,600 --> 00:22:41,147
Jake take your boys
and go back to your cabin.
331
00:22:41,400 --> 00:22:43,627
And you guys straighten
this place up.
332
00:22:43,793 --> 00:22:45,947
It's a disgrace.
333
00:22:52,800 --> 00:22:54,755
Bravo.
334
00:22:54,880 --> 00:23:00,187
Whatever cretinous deed you did
it's just ruined our summer.
335
00:23:00,353 --> 00:23:03,435
OK I'm gonna say this real slow
336
00:23:03,560 --> 00:23:07,795
just in case you dipshits
still haven't grasped the basics.
337
00:23:07,920 --> 00:23:13,987
Our parents pay your wages
to make our summer good. Get it?
338
00:23:15,153 --> 00:23:18,507
So what are we doing for Rookie Day?
339
00:23:21,633 --> 00:23:23,515
Come on guys.
340
00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:27,307
You'd enjoy it more
if you put some effort in.
341
00:23:34,393 --> 00:23:36,867
See? It's like baseball.
Except shit.
342
00:23:38,400 --> 00:23:41,875
How long does this game go on for?
343
00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:44,947
Up to five days.
Good grief!
344
00:23:47,214 --> 00:23:47,947
Hold on!
345
00:23:53,520 --> 00:23:57,547
We should be doing that.
You morons are a fucking joke.
346
00:23:57,713 --> 00:23:59,867
Yeah? You're just a bunch
of spoilt little pricks.
347
00:24:00,033 --> 00:24:02,355
How dare you?
348
00:24:02,480 --> 00:24:05,987
First you risk our lives
with your... nocturnal perversions
349
00:24:06,153 --> 00:24:10,475
and now this sorry attempt at fun hm?
350
00:24:10,600 --> 00:24:14,947
We're entitled to a better level
of service than this.
351
00:24:15,113 --> 00:24:16,915
- Come on lads don't be like that.
- No you come on!
352
00:24:17,040 --> 00:24:19,600
And sort your shit out.
353
00:24:22,320 --> 00:24:25,347
It's nice to see them putting aside
their personal differences anyway.
354
00:24:25,513 --> 00:24:27,707
At least we get some time to
ourselves.
355
00:24:27,873 --> 00:24:30,275
How about we kick back
and have a little smoke?
356
00:24:30,400 --> 00:24:32,427
Barry!
Do it do it do it! Go!
357
00:24:38,353 --> 00:24:39,947
All right next... all right.
358
00:24:42,040 --> 00:24:43,915
Wow.
359
00:24:44,040 --> 00:24:46,355
You're a lifeguard like in Baywatch.
360
00:24:46,480 --> 00:24:50,515
Yes Barry exactly like Baywatch.
361
00:24:50,640 --> 00:24:53,387
I only run in slow motion.
362
00:24:53,553 --> 00:24:56,715
Barry mouth shut eyes up here yeah?
363
00:24:56,840 --> 00:24:59,867
How's Rookie Day going?
Pretty bad.
364
00:25:01,840 --> 00:25:05,715
So you could give me swimming
lessons?
365
00:25:05,840 --> 00:25:08,155
You're not seriously telling me
you can't swim?
366
00:25:08,280 --> 00:25:10,720
Yeah seriously.
367
00:25:11,760 --> 00:25:16,067
So there's no chance this is just
an excuse to see me in a swimsuit?
368
00:25:16,233 --> 00:25:18,880
Hadn't even crossed my mind.
369
00:25:19,920 --> 00:25:21,627
You really are a sad little man.
370
00:25:21,793 --> 00:25:26,307
Yes but with your help I can be
a sad little man who can swim.
371
00:25:26,473 --> 00:25:29,559
What do I get out of it?
Er...
372
00:25:31,960 --> 00:25:35,915
I'll hook you up for the rest
of the summer for free.
373
00:25:36,040 --> 00:25:38,395
You found a dealer round here?
374
00:25:38,520 --> 00:25:40,875
Yeah.
375
00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:44,155
Oh come on. What's the problem?
You get stoned. I get a life skill.
376
00:25:44,280 --> 00:25:47,827
Everyone wins.
I don't know Barry.
377
00:25:47,993 --> 00:25:50,667
Well what is it? Got the boyfriend?
378
00:25:50,833 --> 00:25:53,080
I won't tell him if you don't.
379
00:25:55,480 --> 00:25:57,635
Deal.
380
00:25:57,760 --> 00:26:02,155
If you turn up here in a mankini
or anything which shows bulge
381
00:26:02,280 --> 00:26:05,115
the deal's off right?
382
00:26:05,240 --> 00:26:07,827
And Barry this is business.
383
00:26:07,993 --> 00:26:12,107
Yeah yeah. Like you said you know
me and you never gonna happen.
384
00:26:12,273 --> 00:26:14,800
Right. Exactly.
385
00:26:20,640 --> 00:26:23,075
Yeah let's go.
All right guys come on let's go.
386
00:26:23,200 --> 00:26:25,795
Keep it up!
Dude ball!
387
00:26:25,920 --> 00:26:27,960
Oh sorry.
Way to go dumbass.
388
00:26:51,530 --> 00:26:54,370
Hello there.
Hi.
389
00:26:55,730 --> 00:26:58,125
You're friends with Adil
aren't you? Yeah.
390
00:26:58,250 --> 00:27:01,117
I'm Flynn. And you are?
Uh... Rachael.
391
00:27:01,283 --> 00:27:03,597
Hi. Are you here to audition?
392
00:27:03,763 --> 00:27:06,837
No.
Well that's a shame.
393
00:27:07,759 --> 00:27:12,325
Look, I'm not asking for you to hit on me.
I'm just asking how your friend is.
394
00:27:12,450 --> 00:27:15,597
For your information I wasn't
hitting on you. And he's fine.
395
00:27:15,850 --> 00:27:19,405
OK good. When you see him
let him know I say hi.
396
00:27:19,530 --> 00:27:23,845
And for your information
you were hitting on me.
397
00:27:23,970 --> 00:27:26,517
Well someone's got
a high opinion of themselves.
398
00:27:26,683 --> 00:27:29,209
Yes, you.
399
00:27:46,963 --> 00:27:49,837
Right let's get pissed.
400
00:27:50,003 --> 00:27:52,157
What are you doing?
401
00:27:52,323 --> 00:27:54,437
I'm feeling bad about the kids.
I thought we should throw them a party.
402
00:27:54,603 --> 00:27:56,717
In A-Rab's world that's a party.
403
00:27:56,883 --> 00:27:58,997
Forget about the kids yeah?
Remember why we're here.
404
00:27:59,163 --> 00:28:01,129
He's right we deserve some us time.
405
00:28:03,650 --> 00:28:06,165
By the way Rachael says hi.
Who's Rachael?
406
00:28:06,290 --> 00:28:07,797
Well exactly.
And there we were worried about you.
407
00:28:07,963 --> 00:28:10,325
Well it's not like that.
I give up.
408
00:28:10,450 --> 00:28:13,317
He's been a miserable bastard since he
got here and he still pulls before me.
409
00:28:13,483 --> 00:28:16,797
Is she fit?
Not bad.
410
00:28:16,963 --> 00:28:19,197
Seven? Maybe an eight
if she wasn't so uptight.
411
00:28:19,363 --> 00:28:22,277
She's more than a seven.
412
00:28:25,570 --> 00:28:28,877
Gentlemen
we have something to show you.
413
00:28:31,450 --> 00:28:35,565
In the absence of the organised activities
we were contractually entitled to
414
00:28:35,690 --> 00:28:39,677
we've spent Rookie Day on line
and what we found was most intriguing.
415
00:28:39,843 --> 00:28:42,277
I present exhibit A.
416
00:28:52,210 --> 00:28:54,925
Sorry to interrupt everyone.
Get off!
417
00:28:55,050 --> 00:28:57,970
No! No no no.
I got this thing I need to do.
418
00:28:59,210 --> 00:29:01,965
Saima where are you? Ah.
419
00:29:02,090 --> 00:29:06,197
This isn't funny. Stop it now.
But we ain't got to the best bit yet.
420
00:29:06,363 --> 00:29:08,797
Look you little arseholes
stop it or I break it.
421
00:29:08,963 --> 00:29:11,005
No I want to see.
Mate don't do it to yourself.
422
00:29:11,130 --> 00:29:12,757
I want to see it.
423
00:29:12,923 --> 00:29:19,605
I met you my first night here and you've
made these three years so special
424
00:29:19,730 --> 00:29:23,530
and I just don't want
to stop feeling this way.
425
00:29:25,490 --> 00:29:28,765
Saima will you marry me?
426
00:29:28,890 --> 00:29:31,490
Oh my God.
427
00:29:36,410 --> 00:29:38,957
Oh ouch.
Crash and burn baby.
428
00:29:41,483 --> 00:29:43,917
Oh man.
What happens afterwards?
429
00:29:44,083 --> 00:29:46,365
Nothing.
430
00:29:46,490 --> 00:29:48,917
That's er... the last time I saw her
or spoke to her.
431
00:29:49,083 --> 00:29:50,877
Great well done.
432
00:29:51,043 --> 00:29:53,677
Now you've had your fun. You've totally
humiliated him. Are you happy now?
433
00:29:53,843 --> 00:29:57,765
No. I think you got the wrong idea.
434
00:29:57,890 --> 00:30:01,997
Cos it wasn't his private life that got
our attention. It was that backdrop.
435
00:30:02,250 --> 00:30:06,157
Strange don't you think?
No not really.
436
00:30:06,323 --> 00:30:08,437
Hm. Oxford Brookes.
437
00:30:08,603 --> 00:30:12,197
It's just we all got sent a welcome
pack.
438
00:30:12,450 --> 00:30:14,605
And I quote
439
00:30:14,730 --> 00:30:18,925
"Andrew Adil and Barry have just
graduated from Oxford University
440
00:30:19,050 --> 00:30:21,917
"one of the world's most prestigious
academic institutions"
441
00:30:22,083 --> 00:30:27,805
except when we looked it up turns out
Oxford Brookes isn't the same place.
442
00:30:27,930 --> 00:30:29,917
Not by a long way
according to the league tables.
443
00:30:30,083 --> 00:30:32,797
You have heard of Google right?
It's just a misunderstanding.
444
00:30:32,963 --> 00:30:35,885
"Prior to Oxford
Andrew attended Eton College
445
00:30:36,523 --> 00:30:39,085
"following in the footsteps
of Princes William and Harry."
446
00:30:39,210 --> 00:30:42,157
You prick Flynn.
OK.
447
00:30:42,323 --> 00:30:44,077
This is my fault.
It's nothing to do with these guys.
448
00:30:44,243 --> 00:30:45,997
Well let's see what Bobby
says about that shall we?
449
00:30:46,163 --> 00:30:49,197
Any need for that really? You sure
we can't work this out between us?
450
00:30:49,363 --> 00:30:52,205
Oh it's a little late for that
I think.
451
00:30:52,330 --> 00:30:54,965
We wanted you to like us.
452
00:30:55,090 --> 00:30:57,277
You treated us with contempt.
453
00:30:57,443 --> 00:31:01,597
We wanted you to look after us
but you couldn't be bothered.
454
00:31:01,763 --> 00:31:07,005
We wanted you to protect us
but you just made things worse.
455
00:31:07,130 --> 00:31:09,570
So you leave us no option.
456
00:31:11,283 --> 00:31:14,765
Consider this our declaration
of independence
457
00:31:14,890 --> 00:31:18,370
from the tyranny of British rule.
458
00:31:21,643 --> 00:31:23,730
I'm staying.
459
00:31:25,050 --> 00:31:28,637
No you should go. You're gonna
need friends this summer.
460
00:31:40,563 --> 00:31:43,005
Look I can explain.
Fuck you.
461
00:31:43,130 --> 00:31:44,645
I just wanted us to have a good
summer. No biggie.
462
00:31:44,770 --> 00:31:47,637
No biggie? I just spent all the money
I've got in the world coming here.
463
00:31:47,803 --> 00:31:50,725
Fine I'll pay you back.
Yeah? How?
464
00:31:50,850 --> 00:31:52,997
Look maybe they won't sack us.
All right they sack us.
465
00:31:53,163 --> 00:31:56,405
We're still in America.
We'll just get bar jobs or something.
466
00:31:56,530 --> 00:32:00,245
We lied Flynn.
Our visas aren't worth shit.
467
00:32:00,370 --> 00:32:02,277
If Bobby tells immigration
they're just gonna deport us.
468
00:32:02,443 --> 00:32:05,477
I mean you've done some stupid
bollocks in your time but this...
469
00:32:06,195 --> 00:32:07,425
Why did you even bother lying anyway?
470
00:32:07,550 --> 00:32:10,197
Because they'd never have employed
three idiots like us right?
471
00:32:10,363 --> 00:32:14,077
It wasn't deliberate I swear.
It just kind of happened.
472
00:32:14,243 --> 00:32:17,285
Well "It just kind of happened"
is not gonna stand up in court!
473
00:32:17,410 --> 00:32:21,805
I was on the phone to the woman
and I said Oxford. She gets all excited.
474
00:32:21,930 --> 00:32:24,077
I just never quite got round
to saying the word Brookes.
475
00:32:24,243 --> 00:32:26,237
I thought "Fuck it why not?"
476
00:32:26,403 --> 00:32:28,797
I thought getting you away from home
might do you some good.
477
00:32:28,963 --> 00:32:32,037
Just give me my phone back.
Oh come on.
478
00:32:32,203 --> 00:32:34,090
Phone.
479
00:32:42,683 --> 00:32:47,317
Where you going?
Come on. Don't be like this.
480
00:32:47,483 --> 00:32:50,490
Brilliant Flynn. Just brilliant.
481
00:33:20,163 --> 00:33:23,130
Saima will you marry me?
482
00:33:42,130 --> 00:33:45,325
You OK?
I haven't been drinking.
483
00:33:45,450 --> 00:33:48,637
Yeah
it's probably just a stomach bug.
484
00:33:48,803 --> 00:33:52,037
Come on let's get you home.
485
00:33:53,210 --> 00:33:56,165
I just think we should give them
one more chance. Maybe...
486
00:33:56,290 --> 00:33:59,957
No way man. I ain't having
another summer like last year.
487
00:34:00,123 --> 00:34:01,757
Well.
488
00:34:03,210 --> 00:34:05,210
Look who it is.
489
00:34:09,763 --> 00:34:12,565
You have eight new messages.
490
00:34:12,690 --> 00:34:15,237
Love it's Mum again. Please call.
491
00:34:15,403 --> 00:34:18,485
I'm worried sick. Just come home.
492
00:34:18,610 --> 00:34:22,037
You can't run away from this love.
You've got to come back and face...
493
00:34:26,570 --> 00:34:30,157
Grace! We were worried sick about...
Are you drunk?
494
00:34:30,323 --> 00:34:32,725
The nice man found me.
495
00:34:32,850 --> 00:34:35,277
Go inside Grace.
Drink some water.
496
00:34:41,050 --> 00:34:44,165
Thanks. I guess technically
you should report this.
497
00:34:44,290 --> 00:34:46,597
Oh what for? She gets sent home.
498
00:34:46,850 --> 00:34:48,997
You get a black mark. No one wins.
Thank you.
499
00:34:49,163 --> 00:34:54,757
Look I... I hardly know you
but you seem like a really nice guy.
500
00:34:54,923 --> 00:34:58,397
So I'm glad it's you
looking after cabin 17.
501
00:34:58,563 --> 00:35:01,357
Oh right. Yeah yeah the Chunk Bunk.
502
00:35:01,523 --> 00:35:03,645
I've been going back through
my predecessor's files.
503
00:35:03,770 --> 00:35:07,725
Seems like those kids end up in my
office more than anyone else.
504
00:35:07,850 --> 00:35:10,125
This place can be pretty cruel
I guess.
505
00:35:10,250 --> 00:35:12,085
They just need someone
to fight their corner.
506
00:35:12,210 --> 00:35:14,397
Yeah right.
So.
507
00:35:14,563 --> 00:35:16,677
I'm glad they got one
of the good guys this year.
508
00:35:22,730 --> 00:35:26,285
Er... I should check she's OK. Night
Adil.
509
00:35:26,410 --> 00:35:29,770
- A-Rab.
- Night A-Rab.
510
00:35:44,490 --> 00:35:47,570
Look I fucked up. I'm sorry.
511
00:35:48,890 --> 00:35:52,365
I'm really sorry. I just wanted us
to have the perfect summer.
512
00:35:52,490 --> 00:35:54,530
There'll be other summers.
513
00:36:01,243 --> 00:36:04,285
I can lose the weight Jake! I want
to be where I belong in the locker...
514
00:36:04,410 --> 00:36:06,210
Hush now.
515
00:36:07,410 --> 00:36:10,529
There's no need to get all nostalgic
about this. Now are you ready?
516
00:36:11,684 --> 00:36:13,285
Good.
517
00:36:13,410 --> 00:36:17,277
One two three! Heave!
BOYS CRY
518
00:36:23,170 --> 00:36:25,077
Oh nothing... nothing personal
Brandon.
519
00:36:25,243 --> 00:36:28,125
MUFFLED GROANS
Just the way things are.
520
00:36:28,250 --> 00:36:31,597
Now watch and learn!
521
00:36:39,600 --> 00:36:41,794
Cardiovascular activity gentlemen.
522
00:36:43,127 --> 00:36:45,554
30 minutes every day available!
523
00:36:45,720 --> 00:36:50,274
Heart disease diabetes
cancer of the colon. Rectal prostate.
524
00:36:50,440 --> 00:36:52,474
You guys are fucking time bombs.
525
00:36:53,167 --> 00:36:56,954
Call me sentimental but I worry
about you I really do.
526
00:36:57,120 --> 00:37:00,154
Say cheese. Ow.
527
00:37:00,320 --> 00:37:04,682
Oh! Oh that's nice. That's... Yeah.
There's a real Abu Ghraib to it.
528
00:37:04,807 --> 00:37:06,114
Yeah I'm sure this'll go down well
with the parents.
529
00:37:06,280 --> 00:37:09,082
Oh it's you.
Didn't recognise you with clothes.
530
00:37:09,207 --> 00:37:11,274
Ha-ha.
Give me the camera.
531
00:37:11,440 --> 00:37:13,674
Give me the kids.
Oh cos you really care about 'em.
532
00:37:13,840 --> 00:37:17,154
Yeah as it goes.
We love an underdog us Brits.
533
00:37:17,320 --> 00:37:21,082
And what? You think
you can take us all on alone?
534
00:37:21,207 --> 00:37:23,354
He's not alone.
535
00:37:23,520 --> 00:37:25,402
And like the man said let 'em go.
536
00:37:25,527 --> 00:37:27,954
We know they're annoying
little turds.
537
00:37:28,120 --> 00:37:30,447
But they're our
annoying little turds.
538
00:37:31,520 --> 00:37:33,274
Fine if that's the way you want it
539
00:37:33,567 --> 00:37:36,554
then we're just gonna have to
kick the crap out of all of you.
540
00:37:36,720 --> 00:37:39,522
Fucking yes!
541
00:37:39,647 --> 00:37:41,562
Come on then!
542
00:37:41,687 --> 00:37:43,994
I am so up for this
you will not believe!
543
00:37:44,160 --> 00:37:46,394
Got a Fight Club kind of mood on.
Do you know what I mean?
544
00:37:46,560 --> 00:37:49,634
Ever feel so numb inside
you want pain just to feel alive?
545
00:37:49,800 --> 00:37:52,714
Huh? No pads or helmets today boys.
546
00:37:52,880 --> 00:37:55,474
Who wants to dance? I'm serious.
547
00:37:55,640 --> 00:38:00,362
Right now! Who wants to dance with
me and my massive fucking sword?
548
00:38:00,487 --> 00:38:02,994
Oh! Shit!
Take it easy mate.
549
00:38:03,160 --> 00:38:05,674
Now as I see it
we've got three options. One
550
00:38:05,840 --> 00:38:07,714
we fight you lose limbs.
551
00:38:07,880 --> 00:38:12,314
Two we take that picture to Bobby's
office like a bunch of pussies.
552
00:38:12,480 --> 00:38:15,682
Or three truce.
553
00:38:15,807 --> 00:38:17,954
You walk away we delete the picture.
554
00:38:18,120 --> 00:38:19,954
It's your move.
555
00:38:26,127 --> 00:38:28,927
I want to see you delete it.
556
00:38:35,127 --> 00:38:37,842
OK truce.
557
00:38:37,967 --> 00:38:41,034
But provoke me or my guys
and the deal's off you got it?
558
00:38:41,200 --> 00:38:45,234
Which means you
keep your cock away from our cabin.
559
00:38:45,400 --> 00:38:49,114
You! Yeah stay away
from my girlfriend.
560
00:38:49,280 --> 00:38:50,842
And you...
561
00:38:50,967 --> 00:38:54,722
dude seriously what the fuck?!
Who brings a sword to a fist fight?
562
00:38:54,847 --> 00:38:56,978
You should come to Glasgow
some time mate.
563
00:38:59,887 --> 00:39:01,926
Let's get out of here.
564
00:39:05,247 --> 00:39:09,314
And that my darlings is acting.
565
00:39:10,487 --> 00:39:14,274
And the Oscar for the biggest
showboating cock goes to.
566
00:39:14,440 --> 00:39:17,406
Do we have to let them down?
567
00:39:20,807 --> 00:39:23,154
My undergarments are still
somewhere near my lungs.
568
00:39:23,320 --> 00:39:25,166
Nice mates you got there.
569
00:39:26,960 --> 00:39:29,643
- So what now?
- Well that's up to you guys.
570
00:39:47,207 --> 00:39:48,954
We'd like to propose a deal.
571
00:39:49,120 --> 00:39:53,162
We'll keep quiet if you agree
to our terms and conditions.
572
00:39:53,287 --> 00:39:54,234
And they are?
573
00:39:54,400 --> 00:39:56,842
One. No salad.
574
00:39:56,967 --> 00:39:59,274
Every damn year
they try and make us lose weight.
575
00:39:59,440 --> 00:40:00,802
I get enough of that at home.
576
00:40:00,927 --> 00:40:02,674
Fine no salad agreed.
577
00:40:02,840 --> 00:40:06,802
Two. You help us increase
our social standing within the camp.
578
00:40:06,927 --> 00:40:08,842
Specifically in relation to girls.
579
00:40:08,967 --> 00:40:11,754
We can try
if you also stop being such cocks.
580
00:40:11,920 --> 00:40:13,762
OK agreed. Three.
581
00:40:13,887 --> 00:40:16,562
Internet porn.
Where's the good free stuff?
582
00:40:16,687 --> 00:40:19,202
Bearing in mind
none of us have credit cards.
583
00:40:19,327 --> 00:40:22,002
I was born to do that one.
584
00:40:22,127 --> 00:40:23,354
Four...
585
00:40:25,567 --> 00:40:27,874
... Smallie wants a threesome.
586
00:40:28,040 --> 00:40:29,762
I'm talking me and two ladies.
587
00:40:29,887 --> 00:40:31,914
I ain't crossing swords with no one.
588
00:40:32,167 --> 00:40:34,274
Realistically no.
589
00:40:34,440 --> 00:40:36,154
- Deal-breaker.
- Never gonna happen.
590
00:40:36,320 --> 00:40:39,034
One girl. Second base?
591
00:40:39,200 --> 00:40:41,034
We can try. Agreed.
592
00:40:41,200 --> 00:40:44,434
Oh and five
Thurston wants the bunk above A-Rab.
593
00:40:44,727 --> 00:40:47,394
Deal. Sometimes you got
to take one for the team man.
594
00:40:47,560 --> 00:40:49,562
So that's all?
595
00:40:49,687 --> 00:40:52,882
OK but we got some conditions too.
596
00:40:53,007 --> 00:40:54,714
One stop being annoying.
597
00:40:55,007 --> 00:40:58,154
Two if I'm with a girl
seriously fuck off.
598
00:40:58,320 --> 00:41:00,722
Three I haven't got
the energy to be PC
599
00:41:00,847 --> 00:41:02,714
so get used to being
called the fatties.
600
00:41:02,880 --> 00:41:05,282
There's no point
in being dicks about it.
601
00:41:05,407 --> 00:41:07,394
That's what groups
of fat kids get called.
602
00:41:07,560 --> 00:41:09,594
And four.
We only wank on stuff we own.
603
00:41:11,480 --> 00:41:13,642
And five give us the memory stick.
604
00:41:13,767 --> 00:41:17,194
OK but if we Googled it
so can everyone else.
605
00:41:17,360 --> 00:41:19,882
Leave that to me.
Degree in computer sciences.
606
00:41:20,007 --> 00:41:22,802
I thank you. From Oxford you know.
607
00:41:22,927 --> 00:41:27,114
OK fellas we got a deal.
We watch your backs you watch ours.
608
00:41:27,280 --> 00:41:30,367
Come on. Let's vow this shit down.
609
00:41:40,040 --> 00:41:43,047
Really? We're really doing this?
610
00:41:46,487 --> 00:41:48,962
So this is us.
611
00:41:49,087 --> 00:41:52,434
The Chunk Bunk summer 2011.
612
00:41:52,600 --> 00:41:56,714
We few we lucky few
we band of brothers...
613
00:41:56,880 --> 00:41:59,562
Whoa whoa whoa.
Hold on. What about Jizz?
614
00:41:59,687 --> 00:42:02,474
Jizz? You OK over there mate?
615
00:42:02,640 --> 00:42:05,114
Or are you gonna come and join us?
616
00:42:05,280 --> 00:42:06,674
Other hand!
617
00:42:16,327 --> 00:42:18,474
Must stop meeting like this.
618
00:42:18,640 --> 00:42:20,522
Yeah.
619
00:42:20,647 --> 00:42:21,834
About the other night...
620
00:42:22,000 --> 00:42:23,434
Fun wasn't it?
621
00:42:23,600 --> 00:42:26,234
Well yeah
but I had no idea who you were.
622
00:42:26,487 --> 00:42:30,874
But I know who you are Flynn.
I know exactly who you are.
623
00:42:31,040 --> 00:42:33,002
It was me who interviewed you.
624
00:42:33,127 --> 00:42:35,802
Eton College? My ass.
625
00:42:35,927 --> 00:42:36,834
So why did you give me the job?
626
00:42:37,000 --> 00:42:38,394
Have a guess.
627
00:42:40,391 --> 00:42:41,714
So you could get us
thrown out at any point then?
628
00:42:42,466 --> 00:42:44,042
Looks that way.
629
00:42:44,167 --> 00:42:47,242
Better make sure you stay
in my good books hadn't you?
630
00:42:47,367 --> 00:42:49,914
Don't pretend you won't enjoy it.
631
00:42:50,080 --> 00:42:51,566
What if I say no?
632
00:42:52,807 --> 00:42:55,566
You won't. You're on holiday.
633
00:43:00,240 --> 00:43:01,886
That was some wedgie.
634
00:43:02,139 --> 00:43:04,794
- Push! Push!
- I'm pushing!
635
00:43:04,960 --> 00:43:07,794
- Hang in there Rick Junior!
- Oh that hurts!
636
00:43:08,047 --> 00:43:09,754
Are you sure you don't need a hand?
637
00:43:09,920 --> 00:43:11,962
No we do this a lot.
638
00:43:12,087 --> 00:43:13,326
We got a system.
639
00:43:14,480 --> 00:43:16,194
That is gonna be some skid mark.
640
00:43:21,927 --> 00:43:24,326
And we're out.
641
00:43:25,647 --> 00:43:26,842
OK.
642
00:43:26,967 --> 00:43:28,354
Me next.
643
00:43:31,440 --> 00:43:34,154
And a happy July 4th to you all.
644
00:43:37,240 --> 00:43:40,202
Her eyes are saying
"Come and get me A-Rab."
645
00:43:40,327 --> 00:43:42,714
How much of the time would you say
you spent looking at my rack?
646
00:43:42,880 --> 00:43:45,474
80 85%?
647
00:43:45,640 --> 00:43:49,314
Mr Spencer. I'm greatly
looking forward to your pageant.
648
00:43:49,567 --> 00:43:52,274
Are you sure this is gonna
get us dates for tonight?
649
00:43:52,440 --> 00:43:54,230
So you guys going
to this thing tonight?
650
00:43:54,355 --> 00:43:58,114
- Have you got a date for tonight?
- Yes Barry. Jake's taking me.
651
00:43:58,280 --> 00:43:59,634
Trying to impress a girl.
652
00:43:59,927 --> 00:44:02,274
You really think
you have a chance with her?
653
00:44:02,440 --> 00:44:05,394
I underestimated you
but the gloves are off now.
654
00:44:05,560 --> 00:44:08,634
Wild child Willy Meadows
is up to her old tricks again.
655
00:44:08,800 --> 00:44:11,154
Willy! How lovely to see you.
656
00:44:11,320 --> 00:44:14,114
Don't even think about it Spencer.
657
00:44:14,280 --> 00:44:17,234
You're not alone whatever you think.
658
00:44:17,400 --> 00:44:19,034
Now let me reiterate
659
00:44:19,200 --> 00:44:22,954
staff who indulge in inappropriate
behaviour with campers get fired!
660
00:44:23,120 --> 00:44:24,714
Yes?
661
00:44:25,847 --> 00:44:28,074
You actually disgust me.
662
00:44:28,240 --> 00:44:30,794
Do you know that?
663
00:45:17,167 --> 00:45:18,527
Funny.
664
00:45:18,577 --> 00:45:23,127
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