Original subtitles

[theme music]

♪ some people stand In the darkness ♪

♪ afraid to step Into the light ♪

♪ some people need To help somebody ♪

♪ when the edge of Surrender's in sight ♪

♪ don't you worry ♪

♪ it's gonna be all right ♪

♪ 'cause I'm always ready ♪

♪ I won't let you Out of my sight ♪

♪ I'll be ready [I'll be ready] ♪

♪ never you fear [no, don't you fear] ♪

♪ I'll be ready ♪

♪ forever and always, I'm always here ♪

♪ 'cause I'm always ready ♪

♪ I won't let you Out of my sight ♪

♪ I'll be ready [I'll be ready] ♪

♪ never you fear [no, don't you fear] ♪

♪ I'll be ready ♪

♪ forever and always, I'm always here ♪

[theme music]

-there you are.

Okay, take it away.

[crowd noise]

-hey, my cleverness doesn't Stop with inventions,

I got all sorts of great ideas

On how to do just About everything.

-come on.

[laughing]

-why don't you get really Clever and fax your lunch over.

-fax snacks, I like it. It's got a nice ring to it.

[laughing]

-we thought you Were gonna panic

If you knew that the island Was going under water.

-it's my duty to protect You, after all I'm the

Strong, solid Male and you're the Frail helpless female.

-yes you big strong man you.

-eddie, when I left You at home this morning

You were watching Gilligan's island,

And now you're watching it here.

Don't you think you're Just a little bit fixated?

-uh uh, it's a Different episode.

On different channels All day long.

Move, you're blocking mary ann!

-we must get organized. How are we going to stay afloat?

-why don't we build An ark like noah did?

-that's a wonderful idea.

We'll take the raft the Men started to build

A couple of months ago and We'll put a new hut on it.

-god, look at ginger.

All those years on the same Island with the same dress

And she still looks fantastic.

-how long have they All been sitting there?

-too long, much too long. Their eyes have glazed over.

-thank you.

[laughter]

-hey, you're supposed To be in uniform pal.

-yeah, yeah, yeah Next commercial.

-garner, I'm surprised At you watching this.

-hey look, I just sat Down to time my shoe.

-yeah okay, what do you say We all stop watching gilligan

And do what we're Supposed to be doing, huh?

[shouting]

-come on, don't Touch that dial.

This is my favorite episode. It's the one where

The professor thinks the Island is sinking so he devises

This brilliant scheme to build A boat and then they split

Just before the tide Goes out. It's great.

[laughing]

-did I miss a Meeting or something?

-ah no captain, we were just

Checking out the Storm report there.

-the weather started Getting rough.

-all I see is sunshine.

Figuring out how to Spend all my millions.

-oh come on, captain, you've Been buying a lottery ticket

Every week for the Last two years.

What makes you think You're gonna win this time?

-persistence pays off.

Besides, would I have any Chance if I didn't buy a ticket?

-there is some Logic there captain.

-what's the jackpot Up to now captain?

-70 million dollars.

The lines were around the block,

70 million, and it's All gonna be mine.

-move over thurston howell.

-forget gilligan's Island will you?

We got a whole beach Load of people out there

Who need to be rescued.

-29 minutes. Man, you guys At dominos are unbelievable.

Yes, here you go. Keep the change, mike. See you around bud.

-you gonna eat that All by yourself?

-maybe.

[laughter]

Go ahead man, help yourself.

-so, gilligan's island was Really your favorite tv show?

-was? Man it still Is, always will be.

-everybody's go their Own taste I guess.

-I don't know, growing up an Orphan never having a family

Those seven people On that island

Became my family garner,

They were always there For me. What can I say?

-gilligan's island?

-yes, gilligan's island.

-you really did have it Rough didn't you little buddy?

-cheap shot man.

-[laughing] Thanks, next Time get some napkins.

Gotta go. Whoa!

-hey, hey, hey watch yourself.

-thanks.

-hey!

Hey, hey, hey, hey!

Come on, break it up would ya?

Get a room.

Whoa!

-eddie, you okay?

You okay?

-what? Yeah.

I'm fine, I'm a Little embarrassed.

-I thought it was lifeguards

Who were supposed to save lives.

-very funny.

-sure you okay now?

-yeah, yeah, I'm fine.

Thanks.

-rescue one, This is kmf 295, over.

-this is rescue one.

-mcclain, we've got a Report of a wave runner

Out off the ocean Side of anacapa.

-what's he doing that far out?

-go pick up kramer at tower 15 and check it out, over.

-will do, over and out.

[upbeat music]

-straight ahead, see it?

-yeah.

-all right, now try and pull It as close as you can.

Hey.

-thank god you guys showed up.

-what's wrong?

-I don't know, my engine died

And I just can't seem To get it to kick over.

-let me give you a hand. See what I can do.

Why don't you slide Up a little bit.

I don't know how Else to do this?

-this way seems fine.

-put this back in there.

All right, let's see Something here.

Why don't you push This button here,

Give it a little gas at The same time, ready?

Oh hey, there we go.

You know what it was? The kill switch was stuck.

All right, you wanna Ride back with us?

-um, no I don't think so.

Thanks for the start though.

-no problem.

Give me a hand?

Have a good one.

What?

Crank it up and let's get going.

Come on.

-it won't start. I don't Know what's the matter.

-huh.

-why don't you radio for help?

-rescue one to baywatch, Repeat rescue one to baywatch.

Radio's dead.

It's the electrical system.

-what are we gonna do?

-there's not much we can do. We just, I don't know.

There's anacapa island, We'll drift to the shore

And wait for someone to miss us.

-great.

-you know, there is A bright side to this.

There is.

Come on, it's romantic, Think about it.

It's just you, Me, the moon, huh?

-well are you sure You wouldn't rather be

Stuck on the island with The girl on the wave runner?

-I was just doing my job.

-a little too well.

Come on, lighten up.

-you lighten up.

[whimsical music]

-well...

If you want you can Start a signal fire

And I'll look for food, Or I can start a fire

And you can go look for food.

-I'll start the fire and You look for the food.

-thought you'd say that.

[whimsical music]

-hey!

-whoa, uh oh.

-gilligan?

Wait! Wait, gilligan!

Gilligan! Hey!

Hey, gilligan!

Hey, wait up.

[panting]

Hey gilligan!

[panting]

Hey, come on I'm Your biggest fan.

Where'd that come from?

-whoa!

-gilligan, man It really is you.

-it's me all right.

Whoa!

-you're hanging off a cliff.

-not for long.

Whoa, help.

-am I glad to see you.

-well I'm Kinda glad to see you too,

Whoever you are.

-I'm eddie.

I'm on the island with shauni.

And--

-look out!

Help! Help!

-you know what? Maybe we should yell together.

-good idea.

Together!

-no, no, no. It's no use. Shauni will never hear us.

-I'm not yelling for shauni. I'm yelling for mary ann!

-mary ann?

-I'm right here.

-oh man, mary ann and Gilligan all in the same day.

Must be my birthday.

Oh boy. Gilligan, don't look down.

-here, let me help.

Give me your hand, come on.

-don't let go.

-you mean you guys Were really shipwrecked

With the howells, And the skipper,

And the movie star, And the professor?

-yup, that's all of us.

-I thought you Were just a tv show.

-we're really Glad you found us.

For years people have been Getting on and off the island

And we were stuck until now.

-so where's everybody else?

-still on the other island.

The professor finally Was able to build a boat,

But it was so small only Two of us could get in it.

-and here we are, On another island,

A million miles from nowhere.

-soon as baywatch sees our signal fire We're as good as home.

-you mean then we're rescued?

-we're finally rescued?

-they will be here by Tomorrow to pick us up

And they'll pick you up too.

-oh.

And I owe it all to you.

-it's the least I Could do mary ann.

Mary ann.

Everybody, let me Have your attention.

It is my privilege to introduce Gilligan and mary ann.

-gilligan and mary ann?

-how do you do?

When we got your radio Message we thought

You'd been out in The sun too long.

-it's really them.

-I feel like I've Known you all my life.

May I call you little buddy?

-sure.

-on behalf of l.A. County lifeguards,

Welcome to baywatch Headquarters.

-wow, this Place is really fancy.

-uh, captain, What happened here?

-70 million dollars Happened here,

That's what happened here.

-you actually won 70 million dollars?

-good things happen To those who bet.

-uh, gilligan and mary ann, let Me introduce captain thorpe.

-from one famous person To other famous people

It is a pleasure to meet you.

-well I don't Know about famous,

But things are sure different Than they were 25 years ago.

-things are sure different Than they were yesterday.

-there's so much to see. So much has gone on.

-well, I could show you Around if you want me to.

-oh yes, I'd like that.

-amazing, without Any luxury whatsoever

You managed to survive.

-well the human appetite

For syndicated television Is indomitable.

-you're right, I'm hungry

I can't wait for a Hamburger and fries.

-hamburger and fries are Loaded with cholesterol.

-well nothing fancy. I'll just take ketchup.

-I can't believe how these Bathing suits have changed

Since I've been on the island.

-lot of things have changed

Since you were stuck On that island.

-what are you looking at eddie?

-I just, I can't believe it.

You, here.

-I can't believe it Either, you're a real hero.

I've been waiting Forever to be rescued,

And then you came along. It's like a dream come true.

-no, no it's not like A dream come true,

It is a dream come true.

-be careful my dear, That's expensive crystal.

Ah, champagne Service for everyone.

Ladies and gentlemen I would Like to welcome you all

To my new little Boat, the minnow ii.

We are here to Celebrate many things.

Firstly and foremostly,

My newly acquired, Enormous wealth.

Secondly, the rescue Of our good friends,

Gilligan and mary ann.

And thirdly, my purchase Of gilligan's rights

To the shipwreck to be Turned into a mini-series.

Of course we do need a Dramatic upbeat ending

To the saga of the Castaways' ordeal, and that

Is the reason for our little Excursion this afternoon.

We are going to rescue The other castaways.

[cheering]

Mary ann my dear, Please come aboard.

-oh, thank you captain thorpe.

-garner, you were in the navy. You're the skipper.

-[laughing]

Gangway!

-I'm sure an old navy man

Will be uniquely Familiar with our waters.

Eddie, since you never Finished high school,

You're the first mate.

-skipper!

-and now, let's be off before Interest rates come down.

-well said.

[romantic music]

-shauni? -ey gad.

-captain thorpe, I heard About the mini-series

And I was so hoping there Might be a part in it for me.

-well we'll see my little Beach bottom, we'll see.

-you never wanted To be an actress.

-things change, eddie, And besides

You already have the Girl of your dreams.

-shauni.

-skipper, if you don't Mind, history awaits.

[upbeat music]

Gilligan.

-cast off all lines.

-what's a line?

-untie the ropes.

Oh, gilligan!

-all: bye!

[upbeat music]

-ah, the thrill of the Open sea, a beautiful woman,

What could be more invigorating?

-it's very exciting Captain thorpe.

-I found the inertial Navigation system

To be quite impressive on board.

I think with such an Array we should have

No problem locating The castaways.

-oh, indeed, direct from Nasa, very very expensive.

-I think I'll go inside And double check the charts.

-do that.

-captain thorpe. -yes.

-I was watching tv last Night and all I could find on

Was these little guys with Mustaches going [silly noises].

-that wasn't television, That was a video game.

-oh, and then somebody Changed the channel

And they didn't even get up.

-a remote control device.

-ah, then I saw a young woman

And she was wearing her Underwear on the outside.

-that was madonna, a very Famous singing person.

-she ought to be able To afford clothes.

-gilligan. Hey, gilligan!

Can I ask you a question?

-you just did.

-how long have You known mary ann?

-well you know, we were Marooned on an island

For 25 years, and you Get to know somebody

Pretty good that way.

-yeah, well I've only Met her for one day now

And, well, I think...

I don't know how to say this...

-well, when we didn't Know how to say anything

We always asked the Professor, then he'd say it

And nobody'd understand it.

-right, yeah well, anyway.

Well I guess the only way to Say it is to just tell you.

I love mary ann.

-you love mary ann?

-well, I think I do. I think I do.

What do you think she'd Say if I told her?

-if I were you I wouldn't do it.

-you wouldn't? -no, if I were me I'd do it.

-you? Wait a minute. You love mary ann?

-yeah.

-you were on an island With her for 25 years

And you never told her?

-well the timing Never seemed right

But now that you've Brought it up,

I think I'll tell her right now.

[thunder] Uh oh.

-gilligan! Gilligan, eddie!

Batten down the hatches,

We've got rough Weather approaching.

There's a big storm coming!

-I hope we packed the battens.

-I'll Go help the skipper.

-right behind ya.

[dramatic music]

-see, there she blows!

We can't outrun it. We're going to have to sail Right into the eye of the storm.

Everybody, hold on!

Gilligan, go below and Break out the life jackets. -aye aye, skipper.

Batten down some Hatches or something.

[blowing wind]

I got ya, gilligan.

Don't let go.

Get him. Somebody grab his legs.

Set him down, set him down.

[blowing wind]

I thought we lost you There little buddy.

-could be worse! Could be raining!

-oh you had to say it. You had to say it.

[blowing wind]

-hang on. Hang on. Careful.

Shauni. Shauni, get back. Get back.

I can't hold it.

-shipwrecked again.

-well at least we're all safe. That's the important thing.

-skipper, what are we Going to do?

I just bought my first Corporation, thorpe corp,

And I so wanted to be There. This morning,

They're putting my Name on the door.

-what about the movie?

They could give my Part to somebody else.

-you'll get used to That being shipwrecked.

-what was that?

-you'll get used to that too.

♪ just sit right back And you'll hear a tale ♪

♪ a tale of a fateful trip ♪

♪ that started from This tropic port ♪

♪ aboard this tiny ship ♪

♪ the mate was a Mighty sailing man ♪

♪ the skipper brave and sure ♪

♪ five passengers Set sail that day ♪

♪ for a three hour Tour, a three hour tour ♪

[thunder]

♪ the weather Started getting rough ♪

♪ the tiny ship was tossed ♪

♪ if not for the courage Of the fearless crew ♪

♪ the minnow would be lost, The minnow would be lost ♪

♪ the ship set ground On the shore of this ♪

♪ uncharted desert isle ♪

♪ with gilligan ♪

♪ the skipper too ♪

♪ the millionaire and his wife ♪

♪ a movie star ♪

♪ the professor and mary ann ♪

♪ here on gilligan's isle ♪

-I suggest that we build some Form of shelter since I see

No way of determining Our precise location

Without conducting a Systematic surveillance.

-harvey's right. Let's build shelter.

-won't that take a long time?

-not if we utilize our Individual abilities

To maximize our efforts.

For instance, skipper, What I want you to do

Is get the saw From the minnow ii

To cut down some Logs from trees.

Gilligan? Gilligan. You help him.

Eddie, gather some Hemp for ropes. -right.

-shauni what I Would like you to do

Is to gather some palm fronds And give them to mary ann

To weave them together For wall panels with the hemp.

-oh, I've always Been good at hemp.

Mr. Thorpe.

-I'm upper management. Very very upper management I might add.

-fine, you supervise.

Everybody else, let's get to it.

Come on little buddy, shauni.

-what's hemp?

-gilligan, we better Get busy on these logs.

We've gotta get the hut Built before nightfall.

Oh, gilligan!

[lively music]

-okay, gilligan, lower the roof.

[applause]

-well done, lad. Well done.

-how's anybody Gonna fit in there?

-it's bigger inside.

-huh? -trust me.

-goodnight captain thorpe.

-night night my boy.

-night harvey.

-goodnight eddie.

-you know something Gilligan, you were right,

It's a lot bigger inside Than it is outside.

-told ya.

-get to bed little buddy. Lot of work to do tomorrow.

-I know what his problem is. He probably wants a story.

The skipper always Told me a story.

I must have heard jack and The beanstalk 10,000 times.

You know the story where Jack climbs a big beanstalk He got from the magic beans

Which he planted from the cow?

And then all of a sudden He meets the giant Who scares him and goes...

-I know the story gilligan!

Is that what you want? A story, eddie?

-well no actually.

I know gilligan's island And well I'm afraid if I try

To climb into the top Something might happen and...

-oh, nothing's going to happen.

Now, climb up there, And that's an order.

-okay.

[yelling]

-well I guess I'm gonna have To give you a hand eddie.

There you go. See? Nothing is going to happen.

-yeah.

-let's get some shut-eye.

[crashing] [yelling]

-I told you Something would happen.

Marooned on an island. This is exciting.

-maybe for you, I'm used to it.

You know what is exciting?

-what?

-what you do, Being a lifeguard.

-oh, it's a piece of cake. Anybody can do it.

Yeah, do you want Me to teach you

Mouth to mouth resuscitation?

-could you?

-sure, sure.

-gilligan, do you think I'll make a good ginger?

-I don't know. She Was one of a kind.

-all those years on the island,

Did you and ginger Ever have a thing?

-what kind of a thing?

-well you know, a thing.

-oh, a thing.

-well did you?

-no, I kinda liked mary ann.

-oh, you're not the only one!

-oh no, I never told her how I felt and now it's too late.

-oh, no, it's not too late.

-well look at them.

What am I gonna do?

-you're gonna do exactly What she's doing to you,

You're gonna make her jealous.

-how?

-by fighting fire with fire.

-yeah, yeah that's it.

-thank you eddie, that Was very instructive.

I can't wait to show gilligan.

-gilligan.

You two have spent a Lot of time together,

Must be pretty tight.

-it's kinda funny, I never told him before,

But I think I'm In love with him.

I wish I knew if he felt The same way about me.

Well, I guess that Answers the question.

Gilligan! What are you doing?

-I think it's fairly obvious.

-are you jealous yet?

-jealous!

Well, I'll show you How jealous I am.

Well, what do you think of that?

-I'll show you what He thinks of that.

-oh yeah? -yeah!

-I forgot to mention, this Hole breaks to the left.

All things considered, it Is rather peaceful here.

-what could happen On a deserted island?

[yelling "Skipper"]

Gilligan!

-ey gad. I'm putting!

-this is important.

-so is this. It's for a birdie.

-what's going on Here little buddy?

-we want you to marry us.

-marry you?

-yes, you're the captain. You can perform the ceremony.

-according to maritime Law, you're right.

Congratulations!

Eddie, you stand next to shauni.

-I'm not marrying her. I'm marrying her.

-yeah, and I'm marrying, What's your name again?

-shauni. -shauni.

And I love her With all my heart.

-you can't marry them. We were here first.

-yeah.

-no, no we were here first.

-stop it, stop it!

Just stand next to whoever You're going to marry.

All right, by the Power vested in me...

-no, no, wait, wait,

You forgot to ask if There are any objections.

-who would have any Objections captain thorpe?

-I do.

-who do you want to marry?

-nobody, I've just Built a boat, though.

It's down by the lagoon and According to my calculations,

The tide is just right.

If the boat doesn't Leave immediately,

No one will ever Get off this island.

-I can't wait.

-great little boat.

-but it'll only fit two.

-well, I'm sorry skipper,

But it's the best That I could do.

I had to modify the structure Of the existing design

By using indigenous materials

And miniaturized components.

-where did the motor come from?

-well the minnow ii had A 300 horsepower engine,

The minnow iii has One horsepower.

I managed to salvage the Undamaged valves and pistons

And create an engine Proportionately stalwart enough

To ferry two passengers To civilization and Bring back help.

-how come it took our professor

25 years to get Us off our island?

-I had more to work with.

-so it's ready to go?

-well skipper, yes it is.

The only question is: Who is privileged to go?

-obviously I am.

-why you?

-'cause I'm rich. Rich People are always privileged.

-I believe he has a point there.

-I think we should draw straws. That's what's fair.

-fair? All right.

-the longest straws go.

Well the one's who've been Marooned the longest get to go.

That's only fair.

-fair. Not right.

-well, according To my calculations,

The tides are just right.

I suggest we launch the Minnow iii immediately.

[groaning]

-there's something I meant to tell you.

-what's that?

-that gilligan, he's One heck of a guy.

-between you and Me, I think so too.

It's not gonna stop you from Remembering me though will it?

-I'll never forget you.

Thank you.

[sputtering motor]

-push! Push!

-bye!

-bye! We'll be back! Have fun!

-take care little buddy.

-there they go.

-don't forget to send help!

-and a change of clothes!

-bye! Bye eddie!

-well, perhaps you can whip up

Another one of Your mango frappes.

-well as long as You're not driving.

-eddie. -yeah skipper?

-weren't you standing here?

Isn't this your straw, It's the longest.

-yes it was.

-but I thought you Said you loved her.

-maybe I did.

Maybe I always will.

Though it may not add Up to a hill of beans,

It's better off This way skipper.

-oh, it's not the end of The world little buddy.

We'll be rescued some day.

Why don't you climb Up a palm tree

And get us some Coconuts for breakfast.

-aye aye skipper.

-professor, I have an idea.

[clunking]

-how you feeling little buddy?

-you called me little buddy.

-well there's worse Things he could call you

For slipping on Your own tower ramp.

-yeah. [groaning]

-you poor thing, you Had us all very worried.

-I had the wildest dream.

-you had a dream, well I'm still dreaming.

I won the lottery.

-you did?

-yup, $58 worth.

'course I bought $60 worth Of tickets, but it's a start.

Glad to see you're Feeling better.

-thanks.

-come on. Let's get you home.

You've got a nasty Bump on your head.

-and you're not mad at me?

-why should I be mad at you?

Just because you watch too Much gilligan's island?

Come on.

-no, it's...

Shauni, wait...

Oh, what a day.

-night guys.

-hey, hey. -hey, hey, see you Tomorrow bright and early.

-come with us Mitch, we're gonna go

To your favorite Chinese restaurant.

-come on mitch, We'll never decide

What to order without you.

-what's so important you Gotta stick around here?

-thanks for the Invite, but I got

A heck of a lot of Paperwork to do.

Besides, it's peaceful and quiet

Around here when You're not here.

-we tried.

-thanks.

-see ya. -see ya.

[whistling gilligan's Island theme]

[gilligan's island theme]

[end theme music]