Original subtitles

SMILING FRIENDS

No calls today. That's unusual.

You know, I was just reading about how the...

Renaissance Men are coming in town.

Oh, who are they? Who's the Renaissance Men?

It just says here the Renaissance Men are coming in town,

and by the looks of it, it's, like, super soon.

- It's really soon. - Who are the Renaissance Men?

I don't know who they are. Like the Renaissance fair?

Dude, I'm just telling you what I'm reading here, man. That's all I know.

I'm just reading off this thing.

It says the Renaissance Men are coming in town really soon.

- Like, A.S.A.P. - I just don't know what that means.

I don't know what that is. What's that noise?

I think it's that.

Well, well, well. The Smiling Friends. We meet at last.

- Hi. Who are you guys? - I am Grim, and this is Gnarly.

We're the Frowning Friends. We just moved in yesterday. How peculiar.

- Well, nice to meet you. - So what exactly do you guys do?

So what do you guys even do? Shut up, man.

- Good one, Gnarly. I love you. - And I love you, Grim.

Let's leave these smiling fools to it.

- That's not even a real laugh. - Don't worry.

I'm sure The Boss will know what to do about this.

- Excuse me, Mr. Boss. - Wait, wait, wait. One sec, one sec.

God damn it! Okay, go. What's up?

We wanted to bring to your attention that a new company moved in

called the Frowning Friends, and we just wanted...

- Frowning Friends? - Yeah.

- Should we be worried? - No, don't fret, young Pim.

It's just a little bit of friendly competition.

Great. Well, then there's no time to waste, Charlie.

Let's go out there and make people smile!

I did not think he was gonna do that. That actually scared me a little bit.

Anyways, I'll see you later, man.

Why can't we just wait for jobs to come into the office, as usual?

Come on, Charlie. Now that we've got competition,

we can't sit around in the break room all day.

We've got to get our hands dirty.

I'll knock your head off and roll on it if you ever insult me again.

- What about this guy? - Hello, sir. Why the long face?

Oh, yeah, I'm kind of, like, friggin' pissed off, man.

I always wanted to be something of an artist, man.

But no one wants to listen to my friggin'...

my shit and stuff, man. And it makes me angry, man.

I don't mind it. You just need to keep working hard on it,

and you'll find an audience. Practice makes perfect.

Hey, I just remembered. You two little critters told me

that it would be easier if I just quit making music

and gave the freak up and stuff, man.

No, we've never spoken to you, sir.

Yeah, no, I've met you two, man. I friggin' met you two.

- You're Grim, and you're Gnarly, man. - Oh, no, okay.

All right, look, I see what's going on.

- Those are two guys who look like us. - Yeah.

Man, shut up, man. You're trying to trick me, man.

Put smoke into my friggin' head and shit, man.

Not at all, man. - I don't know what to think no more!

- Okay, okay. Let's de-escalate. - No one's messing with your head.

- Get out of me head! - Nobody's messing with your head.

Hello, Mr. Man. We were wondering if you needed cheering up today.

The shape of my head causes me constant mental anguish.

Does it sound like I need cheering up?

- Yeah, a little bit. - I think you, yeah.

Didn't you two just come by and tell me

I should feel bad about my disgusting head shape

and shouldn't do anything to address it?

- God damn it. They've got everyone. - No, sir, that wasn't us.

- Your head is stunning, by the way. - No, I've seen you two before.

You're trying to mess with me. Get out of my head!

- Get out of my head, man! - Nobody's messing with your head.

Look, Pim, I get what's going on. They're the Bizarro versions of us.

But what's their end game? It's just pissing me off now.

Let's try one more, Charlie. What about that guy?

Hey, there, little guy. What's got you upset?

The world is so damn rotten. There's so much hate and evil.

3D Squeldon just doesn't see a point in living anymore.

What's the point?

Is there anything that does make you feel better, 3D Squeldon?

3D Squeldon likes balloons.

Balloon maker. Why don't you just get your license?

I'm sure a balloon profession will put a big old smile on your face.

Yeah, it kind of does.

Ah, yes, but think about how much time and energy

it would take to become a balloon salesman.

And it doesn't matter because you will die one day.

But think about how good it'd feel once you finally got the license.

But did you know that all of Earth's helium

is running out and will be completely depleted within 15 to 20 years?

Is that actually true?

We only tell the truth, even when it hurts.

Any time you feel like changing your life for the better,

give us a call, and we'll put a frown on that face.

Okay.

Charlie, I don't think these guys want friendly competition with us.

I just looked at the helium thing he was talking about. That's true.

That's, like, 100%. Everything he said was true.

It's all gonna be gone.

All right. Things are looking pretty bleak. I'm down $2.4 billion

since this new company moved in across the street. Any ideas?

Don't worry. I had a similar problem when I acquired Wrigley's gum.

You should just buy more stocks.

When the American public discovered

I'd been filling my peanuts up with toxic pesticides,

I decided to go on "The Dick Cavett Show" and do a little peanut jig.

That's what you need, a peanut jig of your own.

Yes, a peanut jig of your own. Yes.

I don't know what that peanut or that fellow there are saying,

but you should try to win back the marketplace

with a more competitive business model.

Oh, wow, what a great idea! Not!

Why did you invite us here in the first place

if you won't listen to our advice?

None of you are any help. Just get out now! Bah!

Mr. Boss? You all right?

Yeah, yeah, I'm fine, Alan. Just having fun.

Why don't you go find a piece of cheese or something, man?

I can't think with all this ruckus around me.

I just need to go to my thinking room for a little while.

Frowning Friends, of course.

♪♪♪♪, it's genius. Why didn't I think of that?

Look at yourself. Weak. Looter. You deserve nothing.

You know what you must do.

I can't.

You must!

I really can't. It's not right.

You must!

Perhaps you're right.

Perhaps I should do what I should have done from the start.

Yeah, like I said, it came out, like, green and chunky.

I've never seen it like that before.

I'm not a doctor, you should talk to someone who understands that more.

Hey, what's with all the people?

That's why you shouldn't try to better your life, you might fail.

So it's easier to frown.

That's not true!

Help, help! That rotten pink man is trying to bully

a mentally ill man like myself. Guards, seize them.

Alan? Glep?

- They have a better 401(k). Sorry. - But I just have to note

that it was only Pim that yelled something. I didn't say anything.

Now witness the brutal cruelties of reality.

- Don't look, Charlie. - Is this supposed to be...

I've seen way worse stuff than this on the Internet.

My brothers, now the next step of our plan shall commence.

You must all go and spread the word of frowning.

Pretty soon, everyone will embrace sadness,

and there'll be no such thing as smiling.

And once that's done, we can finally eradicate

- all the Puerto Ricans on the planet. - Yeah!

What do he say? What?

I mean, make everyone on the planet frown.

Nothing matters because we're all gonna die someday!

No, please don't kill me. I don't want to die. Please don't kill me!

Please don't!

Relax, man. I was just gonna shoot you in the head and kill you.

Hey, wait, wait, wait a minute, man.

They don't think nothing matters at all, man.

He was scared to die and stuff, man.

What the ♪♪♪♪, man. That makes me angry, man.

3D Squeldon hates lies!

I actually wanted to kill the Puerto Ricans.

Right. Kinda cringe.

- Do we still have to detain you? - Probably not, man.

I think the guy pissed in his pants.

Hey, hey. Don't cry. You should be happy that your idea was so good

that it drove me bonkers with jealousy.

That's kind of cool, huh?

Wow. Smiling feels good.

This is a beautiful ending.

Fire!

- Run! - What was that? What just happened?

The Renaissance Men came into town finally.

I told you they were coming into town and you didn't believe me.

You knew they'd come and kill Grim and Gnarly with arrows and stuff?

- I didn't. - Who are the Renaissance Men?

That's not Renaissance. They didn't look like Renaissance... men.

- I don't know. - That's a completely different era.

I told you the extent of my knowledge.

I knew the Renaissance Men were coming. That's it.

- Okay. - Yeah. So...