All language subtitles for SNL S01E03 Rob Reiner.DVDRip.HI.RLP.cc.en.UNVSL

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,375 --> 00:00:12,222 [CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS] I'LL CHECK IN ON YOU LATER, MR. FEATHERSTONE. 2 00:00:12,246 --> 00:00:14,926 I'LL CHECK IN ON YOU LATER, MR. FEATHERSTONE. THANK YOU, JANET. 3 00:00:50,550 --> 00:00:52,351 [MUSIC STOPS] 4 00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:26,251 LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S "SATURDAY NIGHT"! [BAND PLAYS] 5 00:01:39,031 --> 00:01:45,937 Announcer: STARRING... WITH ROB'S GUESTS... 6 00:02:07,427 --> 00:02:11,563 THE NOT-READY-FOR-PRIME-TIME PLAYERS... 7 00:02:22,007 --> 00:02:27,779 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, ROB REINER. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 8 00:02:33,453 --> 00:02:36,966 YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! THANK YOU. 9 00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:38,535 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! THANK YOU. NICE TO SEE YOU, DARLING. 10 00:02:38,559 --> 00:02:39,902 THANK YOU. NICE TO SEE YOU, DARLING. IT'S NICE TO SEE YOU. 11 00:02:39,926 --> 00:02:41,805 NICE TO SEE YOU, DARLING. IT'S NICE TO SEE YOU. YOU'RE A BEAUTIFUL HUMAN BEING. 12 00:02:41,829 --> 00:02:42,972 IT'S NICE TO SEE YOU. YOU'RE A BEAUTIFUL HUMAN BEING. HOW YOU DOING? 13 00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:44,808 YOU'RE A BEAUTIFUL HUMAN BEING. HOW YOU DOING? NICE TO SEE YOU, DARLING. 14 00:02:44,832 --> 00:02:46,309 HOW YOU DOING? NICE TO SEE YOU, DARLING. YOU'RE JUST LOVELY. 15 00:02:46,333 --> 00:02:47,777 NICE TO SEE YOU, DARLING. YOU'RE JUST LOVELY. YOU'RE JUST LOVELY. 16 00:02:47,801 --> 00:02:49,145 YOU'RE JUST LOVELY. YOU'RE JUST LOVELY. NICE TO SEE YOU, PAL. 17 00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:51,013 YOU'RE JUST LOVELY. NICE TO SEE YOU, PAL. YOU'RE ALL SUCH BEAUTIFUL HUMAN 18 00:02:51,037 --> 00:02:51,648 NICE TO SEE YOU, PAL. YOU'RE ALL SUCH BEAUTIFUL HUMAN BEINGS. 19 00:02:51,672 --> 00:02:52,982 YOU'RE ALL SUCH BEAUTIFUL HUMAN BEINGS. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 20 00:02:53,006 --> 00:02:54,784 BEINGS. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. IT'S GREAT TO BE HERE. 21 00:02:54,808 --> 00:02:56,553 THANK YOU VERY MUCH. IT'S GREAT TO BE HERE. PROBABLY A LOT OF YOU ARE 22 00:02:56,577 --> 00:02:58,621 IT'S GREAT TO BE HERE. PROBABLY A LOT OF YOU ARE WONDERING ABOUT THE WAY I LOOK 23 00:02:58,645 --> 00:02:59,322 PROBABLY A LOT OF YOU ARE WONDERING ABOUT THE WAY I LOOK TONIGHT. 24 00:02:59,346 --> 00:03:01,057 WONDERING ABOUT THE WAY I LOOK TONIGHT. THIS IS THE WAY I LOOK LIVE, 25 00:03:01,081 --> 00:03:02,459 TONIGHT. THIS IS THE WAY I LOOK LIVE, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. 26 00:03:02,483 --> 00:03:03,793 THIS IS THE WAY I LOOK LIVE, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. THIS IS THE REAL ME. 27 00:03:03,817 --> 00:03:05,127 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. THIS IS THE REAL ME. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 28 00:03:05,151 --> 00:03:06,229 THIS IS THE REAL ME. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. NICE TO SEE YOU. 29 00:03:06,253 --> 00:03:11,501 THANK YOU VERY MUCH. NICE TO SEE YOU. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 30 00:03:11,525 --> 00:03:13,269 NICE TO SEE YOU. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. I'D LIKE TO SPEND SOME TIME WITH 31 00:03:13,293 --> 00:03:14,971 THANK YOU VERY MUCH. I'D LIKE TO SPEND SOME TIME WITH YOU, SING A FEW SONGS FOR YOU, 32 00:03:14,995 --> 00:03:16,639 I'D LIKE TO SPEND SOME TIME WITH YOU, SING A FEW SONGS FOR YOU, BUT BEFORE WE GET DOWN TO SOME 33 00:03:16,663 --> 00:03:19,409 YOU, SING A FEW SONGS FOR YOU, BUT BEFORE WE GET DOWN TO SOME REALLY FUNKY SOUNDS... 34 00:03:19,433 --> 00:03:20,844 BUT BEFORE WE GET DOWN TO SOME REALLY FUNKY SOUNDS... I'D LIKE TO TURN UP THOSE HOUSE 35 00:03:20,868 --> 00:03:22,178 REALLY FUNKY SOUNDS... I'D LIKE TO TURN UP THOSE HOUSE LIGHTS FOR JUST A SECOND AND 36 00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:23,480 I'D LIKE TO TURN UP THOSE HOUSE LIGHTS FOR JUST A SECOND AND TAKE A LOOK AT A FEW OF YOU 37 00:03:23,504 --> 00:03:24,614 LIGHTS FOR JUST A SECOND AND TAKE A LOOK AT A FEW OF YOU BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE. 38 00:03:24,638 --> 00:03:26,349 TAKE A LOOK AT A FEW OF YOU BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE. LET'S TAKE... AH, THERE THEY 39 00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:26,816 BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE. LET'S TAKE... AH, THERE THEY ARE. 40 00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:28,752 LET'S TAKE... AH, THERE THEY ARE. AND YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL, YOU KNOW. 41 00:03:28,776 --> 00:03:30,987 ARE. AND YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL, YOU KNOW. LIKE A LOVELY GARDEN OF FLOWERS. 42 00:03:31,011 --> 00:03:33,155 AND YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL, YOU KNOW. LIKE A LOVELY GARDEN OF FLOWERS. SEE A FEW WEEDS HERE AND THERE. 43 00:03:33,179 --> 00:03:34,056 LIKE A LOVELY GARDEN OF FLOWERS. SEE A FEW WEEDS HERE AND THERE. [CHUCKLES] 44 00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:35,525 SEE A FEW WEEDS HERE AND THERE. [CHUCKLES] BUT SERIOUSLY, YOU ARE 45 00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:36,325 [CHUCKLES] BUT SERIOUSLY, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. 46 00:03:36,349 --> 00:03:38,027 BUT SERIOUSLY, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. OH, MY GOODNESS, LADIES AND 47 00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:39,996 BEAUTIFUL. OH, MY GOODNESS, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I JUST SPOTTED A DEAR 48 00:03:40,020 --> 00:03:41,498 OH, MY GOODNESS, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I JUST SPOTTED A DEAR FRIEND IN THE AUDIENCE. 49 00:03:41,522 --> 00:03:43,266 GENTLEMEN, I JUST SPOTTED A DEAR FRIEND IN THE AUDIENCE. I'D LIKE TO INTRODUCE YOU TO 50 00:03:43,290 --> 00:03:43,933 FRIEND IN THE AUDIENCE. I'D LIKE TO INTRODUCE YOU TO HIM. 51 00:03:43,957 --> 00:03:46,669 I'D LIKE TO INTRODUCE YOU TO HIM. I'M JUST TICKLED PINK THAT HE'S 52 00:03:46,693 --> 00:03:47,103 HIM. I'M JUST TICKLED PINK THAT HE'S HERE. 53 00:03:47,127 --> 00:03:48,605 I'M JUST TICKLED PINK THAT HE'S HERE. HE FLEW ALL THE WAY IN FROM THE 54 00:03:48,629 --> 00:03:49,071 HERE. HE FLEW ALL THE WAY IN FROM THE COAST. 55 00:03:49,095 --> 00:03:50,473 HE FLEW ALL THE WAY IN FROM THE COAST. AND I GUESS, WHAT CAN YOU SAY 56 00:03:50,497 --> 00:03:51,107 COAST. AND I GUESS, WHAT CAN YOU SAY ABOUT HIM? 57 00:03:51,131 --> 00:03:53,976 AND I GUESS, WHAT CAN YOU SAY ABOUT HIM? HE'S A LEGEND IN HIS OWN TIME, A 58 00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:56,646 ABOUT HIM? HE'S A LEGEND IN HIS OWN TIME, A GREAT, GREAT SONGWRITER, A MAN 59 00:03:56,670 --> 00:03:59,516 HE'S A LEGEND IN HIS OWN TIME, A GREAT, GREAT SONGWRITER, A MAN WHOSE NAME CONJURES UP IMAGES OF 60 00:03:59,540 --> 00:04:04,186 GREAT, GREAT SONGWRITER, A MAN WHOSE NAME CONJURES UP IMAGES OF CHRISTMAS AND SNOWFALL AND 61 00:04:04,210 --> 00:04:08,858 WHOSE NAME CONJURES UP IMAGES OF CHRISTMAS AND SNOWFALL AND FIRESIDES, TURKEYS, GIBLET 62 00:04:08,882 --> 00:04:09,392 CHRISTMAS AND SNOWFALL AND FIRESIDES, TURKEYS, GIBLET GRAVY. 63 00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:10,860 FIRESIDES, TURKEYS, GIBLET GRAVY. WILL YOU WELCOME, PLEASE, 64 00:04:10,884 --> 00:04:11,961 GRAVY. WILL YOU WELCOME, PLEASE, MR. IRVING BERLIN? 65 00:04:11,985 --> 00:04:14,162 WILL YOU WELCOME, PLEASE, MR. IRVING BERLIN? IRV, STAND UP AND TAKE A BOW. 66 00:04:14,186 --> 00:04:15,887 MR. IRVING BERLIN, LADIES AND 67 00:04:16,021 --> 00:04:17,055 GENTLEMEN. 68 00:04:17,189 --> 00:04:19,057 ISN'T THIS BEAUTIFUL? 69 00:04:19,191 --> 00:04:20,826 BEAUTIFUL. 70 00:04:21,093 --> 00:04:24,474 HE'S SUCH A SWEETHEART, ISN'T HE? THANK YOU, IRV. 71 00:04:24,498 --> 00:04:25,909 HE? THANK YOU, IRV. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 72 00:04:25,933 --> 00:04:27,911 THANK YOU, IRV. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. ISN'T HE BEAUTIFUL, LADIES AND 73 00:04:27,935 --> 00:04:28,812 THANK YOU VERY MUCH. ISN'T HE BEAUTIFUL, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN? 74 00:04:28,836 --> 00:04:30,947 ISN'T HE BEAUTIFUL, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN? I'D LIKE TO PAY TRIBUTE TONIGHT 75 00:04:30,971 --> 00:04:32,816 GENTLEMEN? I'D LIKE TO PAY TRIBUTE TONIGHT TO ANOTHER CLOSE, PERSONAL 76 00:04:32,840 --> 00:04:35,952 I'D LIKE TO PAY TRIBUTE TONIGHT TO ANOTHER CLOSE, PERSONAL FRIEND OF MINE, A MAN WHO I HAVE 77 00:04:35,976 --> 00:04:38,220 TO ANOTHER CLOSE, PERSONAL FRIEND OF MINE, A MAN WHO I HAVE THE PLEASURE OF CALLING 78 00:04:38,244 --> 00:04:39,355 FRIEND OF MINE, A MAN WHO I HAVE THE PLEASURE OF CALLING "FRIEND." 79 00:04:39,379 --> 00:04:42,358 THE PLEASURE OF CALLING "FRIEND." HE'S NO LONGER WITH US, GOD REST 80 00:04:42,382 --> 00:04:45,061 "FRIEND." HE'S NO LONGER WITH US, GOD REST HIS SOUL. 81 00:04:45,085 --> 00:04:48,698 HE'S NO LONGER WITH US, GOD REST HIS SOUL. HE WAS MY MAIN MAN... 82 00:04:48,722 --> 00:04:52,669 HIS SOUL. HE WAS MY MAIN MAN... THE LATE, GREAT MR. BOB DYLAN. 83 00:04:52,693 --> 00:04:54,838 HE WAS MY MAIN MAN... THE LATE, GREAT MR. BOB DYLAN. WHAT? 84 00:04:54,862 --> 00:04:57,507 THE LATE, GREAT MR. BOB DYLAN. WHAT? STILL ALIVE? 85 00:04:57,531 --> 00:05:00,610 WHAT? STILL ALIVE? [CHUCKLES] 86 00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:02,745 STILL ALIVE? [CHUCKLES] HE HASN'T CALLED ME IN SUCH A 87 00:05:02,769 --> 00:05:03,713 [CHUCKLES] HE HASN'T CALLED ME IN SUCH A LONG TIME. 88 00:05:03,737 --> 00:05:05,114 HE HASN'T CALLED ME IN SUCH A LONG TIME. WE'VE LOST TOUCH. 89 00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:06,115 LONG TIME. WE'VE LOST TOUCH. ALIVE, HUH? 90 00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:07,784 WE'VE LOST TOUCH. ALIVE, HUH? WELL, THOUGHT HE WAS DEAD. 91 00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:09,586 ALIVE, HUH? WELL, THOUGHT HE WAS DEAD. ALL RIGHT, WELL, ANYWAY, I'D 92 00:05:09,610 --> 00:05:11,521 WELL, THOUGHT HE WAS DEAD. ALL RIGHT, WELL, ANYWAY, I'D LIKE TO SING A SONG THAT HE HAD 93 00:05:11,545 --> 00:05:13,356 ALL RIGHT, WELL, ANYWAY, I'D LIKE TO SING A SONG THAT HE HAD THE PLEASURE OF WRITING AND I 94 00:05:13,380 --> 00:05:15,257 LIKE TO SING A SONG THAT HE HAD THE PLEASURE OF WRITING AND I HAD THE PLEASURE OF RECORDING. 95 00:05:15,281 --> 00:05:16,593 THE PLEASURE OF WRITING AND I HAD THE PLEASURE OF RECORDING. AND I ALSO HAD THE PLEASURE OF 96 00:05:16,617 --> 00:05:17,861 HAD THE PLEASURE OF RECORDING. AND I ALSO HAD THE PLEASURE OF MAKING A GREAT DEAL OF MONEY 97 00:05:17,885 --> 00:05:19,762 AND I ALSO HAD THE PLEASURE OF MAKING A GREAT DEAL OF MONEY WITH THIS SONG. 98 00:05:19,786 --> 00:05:21,230 MAKING A GREAT DEAL OF MONEY WITH THIS SONG. HOWARD, IF YOU WILL. 99 00:05:21,254 --> 00:05:22,365 WITH THIS SONG. HOWARD, IF YOU WILL. A-1, 2. 100 00:05:22,389 --> 00:05:23,500 HOWARD, IF YOU WILL. A-1, 2. A-1, 2, 3, 4. 101 00:05:23,524 --> 00:05:25,702 A-1, 2. A-1, 2, 3, 4. ♪ HOW MANY ROADS MUST A MAN 102 00:05:25,726 --> 00:05:26,402 A-1, 2, 3, 4. ♪ HOW MANY ROADS MUST A MAN WALK DOWN ♪ 103 00:05:26,426 --> 00:05:27,436 ♪ HOW MANY ROADS MUST A MAN WALK DOWN ♪ THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 104 00:05:27,460 --> 00:05:29,706 WALK DOWN ♪ THANK YOU VERY MUCH. ♪ BEFORE YOU CALL HIM A MAN? ♪ 105 00:05:29,730 --> 00:05:31,440 THANK YOU VERY MUCH. ♪ BEFORE YOU CALL HIM A MAN? ♪ YOU TELL ME, YES. 106 00:05:31,464 --> 00:05:33,309 ♪ BEFORE YOU CALL HIM A MAN? ♪ YOU TELL ME, YES. ♪ HOW MANY SEAS MUST THAT 107 00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:35,512 YOU TELL ME, YES. ♪ HOW MANY SEAS MUST THAT WHITE DOVE SAIL, HA, HO ♪ 108 00:05:35,536 --> 00:05:36,946 ♪ HOW MANY SEAS MUST THAT WHITE DOVE SAIL, HA, HO ♪ ♪ BEFORE SHE SLEEPS 109 00:05:36,970 --> 00:05:37,614 WHITE DOVE SAIL, HA, HO ♪ ♪ BEFORE SHE SLEEPS IN THE SAND? ♪ 110 00:05:37,638 --> 00:05:39,382 ♪ BEFORE SHE SLEEPS IN THE SAND? ♪ HO, THANK YOU! 111 00:05:39,406 --> 00:05:41,518 IN THE SAND? ♪ HO, THANK YOU! ♪ HOW MANY TIMES MUST THOSE 112 00:05:41,542 --> 00:05:43,452 HO, THANK YOU! ♪ HOW MANY TIMES MUST THOSE CANNONBALLS FLY ♪ 113 00:05:43,476 --> 00:05:45,889 ♪ HOW MANY TIMES MUST THOSE CANNONBALLS FLY ♪ ♪ BEFORE THEY'RE FOREVER 114 00:05:45,913 --> 00:05:46,656 CANNONBALLS FLY ♪ ♪ BEFORE THEY'RE FOREVER BANNED? ♪ 115 00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:48,057 ♪ BEFORE THEY'RE FOREVER BANNED? ♪ SPEAKING OF BANDS, LADIES AND 116 00:05:48,081 --> 00:05:49,091 BANNED? ♪ SPEAKING OF BANDS, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, HOW ABOUT 117 00:05:49,115 --> 00:05:50,560 SPEAKING OF BANDS, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, HOW ABOUT HOWARD SHORE AND HIS ORCHESTRA, 118 00:05:50,584 --> 00:05:50,927 GENTLEMEN, HOW ABOUT HOWARD SHORE AND HIS ORCHESTRA, HUH? 119 00:05:50,951 --> 00:05:52,562 HOWARD SHORE AND HIS ORCHESTRA, HUH? BIG ROUND OF APPLAUSE, HUH? 120 00:05:52,586 --> 00:05:54,096 HUH? BIG ROUND OF APPLAUSE, HUH? HE'S BEAUTIFUL, ISN'T HE? 121 00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:56,298 BIG ROUND OF APPLAUSE, HUH? HE'S BEAUTIFUL, ISN'T HE? ♪ THE ANSWER, MY FRIEND ♪ 122 00:05:56,322 --> 00:05:58,234 HE'S BEAUTIFUL, ISN'T HE? ♪ THE ANSWER, MY FRIEND ♪ ♪ IS BLOWIN' IN THE WIND ♪ 123 00:05:58,258 --> 00:06:01,203 ♪ THE ANSWER, MY FRIEND ♪ ♪ IS BLOWIN' IN THE WIND ♪ ♪ THE ANSWER ♪ 124 00:06:01,227 --> 00:06:04,908 ♪ IS BLOWIN' IN THE WIND ♪ ♪ THE ANSWER ♪ ♪ IS BLOWIN' ♪ 125 00:06:04,932 --> 00:06:12,448 ♪ THE ANSWER ♪ ♪ IS BLOWIN' ♪ ♪ IN THE WIND ♪ 126 00:06:12,472 --> 00:06:14,116 ♪ IS BLOWIN' ♪ ♪ IN THE WIND ♪ THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 127 00:06:14,140 --> 00:06:15,117 ♪ IN THE WIND ♪ THANK YOU VERY MUCH. THANK YOU. 128 00:06:15,141 --> 00:06:18,320 THANK YOU VERY MUCH. THANK YOU. [APPLAUSE] 129 00:06:18,344 --> 00:06:20,723 THANK YOU. [APPLAUSE] I'D LIKE TO RELAX JUST FOR A 130 00:06:20,747 --> 00:06:23,026 [APPLAUSE] I'D LIKE TO RELAX JUST FOR A SECOND, KIND OF TAKE THINGS 131 00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:24,794 I'D LIKE TO RELAX JUST FOR A SECOND, KIND OF TAKE THINGS EASY... 132 00:06:24,818 --> 00:06:26,395 SECOND, KIND OF TAKE THINGS EASY... TALK TO YOU VERY SERIOUSLY ABOUT 133 00:06:26,419 --> 00:06:27,897 EASY... TALK TO YOU VERY SERIOUSLY ABOUT SOMETHING THAT'S IMPORTANT TO 134 00:06:27,921 --> 00:06:29,699 TALK TO YOU VERY SERIOUSLY ABOUT SOMETHING THAT'S IMPORTANT TO ME. 135 00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:32,368 SOMETHING THAT'S IMPORTANT TO ME. YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN VERY 136 00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:33,937 ME. YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN VERY FORTUNATE. 137 00:06:33,961 --> 00:06:37,440 YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN VERY FORTUNATE. I'VE BEEN BLESSED BY THAT MAN 138 00:06:37,464 --> 00:06:38,841 FORTUNATE. I'VE BEEN BLESSED BY THAT MAN UPSTAIRS. 139 00:06:38,865 --> 00:06:41,678 I'VE BEEN BLESSED BY THAT MAN UPSTAIRS. YEAH, MY REAL MAIN MAN. 140 00:06:41,702 --> 00:06:43,079 UPSTAIRS. YEAH, MY REAL MAIN MAN. LET'S HAVE A ROUND OF APPLAUSE 141 00:06:43,103 --> 00:06:43,580 YEAH, MY REAL MAIN MAN. LET'S HAVE A ROUND OF APPLAUSE FOR HIM. 142 00:06:43,604 --> 00:06:44,847 LET'S HAVE A ROUND OF APPLAUSE FOR HIM. ISN'T HE BEAUTIFUL? 143 00:06:44,871 --> 00:06:46,115 FOR HIM. ISN'T HE BEAUTIFUL? ISN'T HE BEAUTIFUL? 144 00:06:46,139 --> 00:06:46,883 ISN'T HE BEAUTIFUL? ISN'T HE BEAUTIFUL? THANK YOU. 145 00:06:46,907 --> 00:06:48,150 ISN'T HE BEAUTIFUL? THANK YOU. ISN'T HE BEAUTIFUL? 146 00:06:48,174 --> 00:06:49,619 THANK YOU. ISN'T HE BEAUTIFUL? YEAH, HE'S STILL ALIVE. 147 00:06:49,643 --> 00:06:51,788 ISN'T HE BEAUTIFUL? YEAH, HE'S STILL ALIVE. YOU BET HE IS. 148 00:06:51,812 --> 00:06:53,756 YEAH, HE'S STILL ALIVE. YOU BET HE IS. YEAH, HE'S BLESSED ME WITH THAT 149 00:06:53,780 --> 00:06:55,725 YOU BET HE IS. YEAH, HE'S BLESSED ME WITH THAT GOD-GIVEN TALENT TO MAKE PEOPLE 150 00:06:55,749 --> 00:07:00,262 YEAH, HE'S BLESSED ME WITH THAT GOD-GIVEN TALENT TO MAKE PEOPLE HAPPY, NICE HOUSE, WIFE, FAMILY, 151 00:07:00,286 --> 00:07:01,363 GOD-GIVEN TALENT TO MAKE PEOPLE HAPPY, NICE HOUSE, WIFE, FAMILY, FIRE INSURANCE. 152 00:07:01,387 --> 00:07:03,165 HAPPY, NICE HOUSE, WIFE, FAMILY, FIRE INSURANCE. AND, YOU KNOW, TOO OFTEN, WE 153 00:07:03,189 --> 00:07:05,101 FIRE INSURANCE. AND, YOU KNOW, TOO OFTEN, WE TAKE THESE THINGS FOR GRANTED. 154 00:07:05,125 --> 00:07:06,035 AND, YOU KNOW, TOO OFTEN, WE TAKE THESE THINGS FOR GRANTED. I KNOW I DO. 155 00:07:06,059 --> 00:07:08,037 TAKE THESE THINGS FOR GRANTED. I KNOW I DO. I'M THE BIGGEST OFFENDER. 156 00:07:08,061 --> 00:07:10,372 I KNOW I DO. I'M THE BIGGEST OFFENDER. I GUESS WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY 157 00:07:10,396 --> 00:07:14,010 I'M THE BIGGEST OFFENDER. I GUESS WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY IS THAT IT ALL BOILS DOWN TO ONE 158 00:07:14,034 --> 00:07:15,311 I GUESS WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY IS THAT IT ALL BOILS DOWN TO ONE WORD. 159 00:07:15,335 --> 00:07:16,045 IS THAT IT ALL BOILS DOWN TO ONE WORD. THAT'S RIGHT. 160 00:07:16,069 --> 00:07:17,647 WORD. THAT'S RIGHT. YOU GUESSED IT. 161 00:07:17,671 --> 00:07:19,682 THAT'S RIGHT. YOU GUESSED IT. LOVE. 162 00:07:19,706 --> 00:07:21,951 YOU GUESSED IT. LOVE. YEAH, LOVE IS THE ANSWER. 163 00:07:21,975 --> 00:07:24,721 LOVE. YEAH, LOVE IS THE ANSWER. AND AREN'T WE ALL... ALL LOOKING 164 00:07:24,745 --> 00:07:27,123 YEAH, LOVE IS THE ANSWER. AND AREN'T WE ALL... ALL LOOKING FOR AN ANSWER IN THIS CRAZY 165 00:07:27,147 --> 00:07:30,226 AND AREN'T WE ALL... ALL LOOKING FOR AN ANSWER IN THIS CRAZY THING I CALL [CHUCKLES] LIFE? 166 00:07:30,250 --> 00:07:33,496 FOR AN ANSWER IN THIS CRAZY THING I CALL [CHUCKLES] LIFE? YES, WELL, I KNOW, WITH LOVE, I 167 00:07:33,520 --> 00:07:35,297 THING I CALL [CHUCKLES] LIFE? YES, WELL, I KNOW, WITH LOVE, I FIND MY ANSWER. 168 00:07:35,321 --> 00:07:38,034 YES, WELL, I KNOW, WITH LOVE, I FIND MY ANSWER. HOPE YOU FIND YOURS, TOO. 169 00:07:38,058 --> 00:07:39,869 FIND MY ANSWER. HOPE YOU FIND YOURS, TOO. BUT IF YOU DON'T, WELL... 170 00:07:39,893 --> 00:07:42,238 HOPE YOU FIND YOURS, TOO. BUT IF YOU DON'T, WELL... ♪ THE ANSWER, MY FRIEND ♪ 171 00:07:42,262 --> 00:07:44,007 BUT IF YOU DON'T, WELL... ♪ THE ANSWER, MY FRIEND ♪ ♪ IS BLOWIN' IN THE WIND ♪ 172 00:07:44,031 --> 00:07:46,408 ♪ THE ANSWER, MY FRIEND ♪ ♪ IS BLOWIN' IN THE WIND ♪ ♪ THE ANSWER IS BLOWIN' ♪ 173 00:07:46,432 --> 00:07:48,044 ♪ IS BLOWIN' IN THE WIND ♪ ♪ THE ANSWER IS BLOWIN' ♪ ♪ ANSWER IS BLOWIN' ♪ 174 00:07:48,068 --> 00:07:49,879 ♪ THE ANSWER IS BLOWIN' ♪ ♪ ANSWER IS BLOWIN' ♪ ♪ ANSWER... YOU'LL FIND IT 175 00:07:49,903 --> 00:07:52,481 ♪ ANSWER IS BLOWIN' ♪ ♪ ANSWER... YOU'LL FIND IT IN THAT WIND ♪ 176 00:07:52,505 --> 00:07:54,150 ♪ ANSWER... YOU'LL FIND IT IN THAT WIND ♪ ♪ BA-DOO-BA-DOO-BA-DOO-BA-DOO, 177 00:07:54,174 --> 00:07:56,119 IN THAT WIND ♪ ♪ BA-DOO-BA-DOO-BA-DOO-BA-DOO, HEY, HO ♪ 178 00:07:56,143 --> 00:07:57,820 ♪ BA-DOO-BA-DOO-BA-DOO-BA-DOO, HEY, HO ♪ HEY, HEY, HEY! 179 00:07:57,844 --> 00:07:59,155 HEY, HO ♪ HEY, HEY, HEY! THANK YOU, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. 180 00:07:59,179 --> 00:08:00,156 HEY, HEY, HEY! THANK YOU, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. YOU'VE BEEN BEAUTIFUL. 181 00:08:00,180 --> 00:08:01,858 THANK YOU, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. YOU'VE BEEN BEAUTIFUL. THANK YOU VERY MUCH! 182 00:08:01,882 --> 00:08:09,065 YOU'VE BEEN BEAUTIFUL. THANK YOU VERY MUCH! [APPLAUSE] 183 00:08:09,089 --> 00:08:10,166 THANK YOU VERY MUCH! [APPLAUSE] THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 184 00:08:10,190 --> 00:08:11,233 [APPLAUSE] THANK YOU VERY MUCH. NICE TO SEE YOU ALL. 185 00:08:11,257 --> 00:08:12,468 THANK YOU VERY MUCH. NICE TO SEE YOU ALL. SEE YOU AFTER THE SHOW. 186 00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:13,202 NICE TO SEE YOU ALL. SEE YOU AFTER THE SHOW. THANK YOU. 187 00:08:13,226 --> 00:08:14,470 SEE YOU AFTER THE SHOW. THANK YOU. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 188 00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:19,809 THANK YOU. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL. 189 00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:21,911 THANK YOU VERY MUCH. YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL. WHOO! WHOO! WHOO! 190 00:08:21,935 --> 00:08:24,047 YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL. WHOO! WHOO! WHOO! HO, THERE! HEY, THERE! 191 00:08:24,071 --> 00:08:25,848 WHOO! WHOO! WHOO! HO, THERE! HEY, THERE! I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO BE ONE OF 192 00:08:25,872 --> 00:08:26,649 HO, THERE! HEY, THERE! I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO BE ONE OF THOSE GUYS. 193 00:08:26,673 --> 00:08:32,055 I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO BE ONE OF THOSE GUYS. [APPLAUSE] 194 00:08:32,079 --> 00:08:32,989 THOSE GUYS. [APPLAUSE] THIS IS THE REAL ME. 195 00:08:33,013 --> 00:08:34,323 [APPLAUSE] THIS IS THE REAL ME. I THINK IT'S THE REAL ME, ISN'T 196 00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:34,623 THIS IS THE REAL ME. I THINK IT'S THE REAL ME, ISN'T IT? 197 00:08:34,647 --> 00:08:36,192 I THINK IT'S THE REAL ME, ISN'T IT? YES, IT IS. 198 00:08:36,216 --> 00:08:39,662 IT? YES, IT IS. I WANT TO REALLY THANK YOU AND 199 00:08:39,686 --> 00:08:41,064 YES, IT IS. I WANT TO REALLY THANK YOU AND WELCOME YOU TO THE SHOW. 200 00:08:41,088 --> 00:08:42,732 I WANT TO REALLY THANK YOU AND WELCOME YOU TO THE SHOW. WE HAVE A VERY GOOD SHOW LINED 201 00:08:42,756 --> 00:08:43,499 WELCOME YOU TO THE SHOW. WE HAVE A VERY GOOD SHOW LINED UP FOR YOU. 202 00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:45,601 WE HAVE A VERY GOOD SHOW LINED UP FOR YOU. AND WE'LL BE BACK RIGHT AFTER 203 00:08:45,625 --> 00:08:49,138 UP FOR YOU. AND WE'LL BE BACK RIGHT AFTER THIS WORD. 204 00:08:49,162 --> 00:08:50,540 AND WE'LL BE BACK RIGHT AFTER THIS WORD. Announcer: TONIGHT, A MESSAGE 205 00:08:50,564 --> 00:08:51,708 THIS WORD. Announcer: TONIGHT, A MESSAGE FROM THE NATIONAL PANCREAS 206 00:08:51,732 --> 00:08:54,711 Announcer: TONIGHT, A MESSAGE FROM THE NATIONAL PANCREAS ASSOCIATION. 207 00:08:54,735 --> 00:08:56,713 FROM THE NATIONAL PANCREAS ASSOCIATION. YOU KNOW, HONEY, I DON'T 208 00:08:56,737 --> 00:08:57,647 ASSOCIATION. YOU KNOW, HONEY, I DON'T FEEL GOOD. 209 00:08:57,671 --> 00:08:59,716 YOU KNOW, HONEY, I DON'T FEEL GOOD. WELL, THAT'S TOO BAD, ED. 210 00:08:59,740 --> 00:09:02,017 FEEL GOOD. WELL, THAT'S TOO BAD, ED. DID YOU EVER THINK THAT IT MIGHT 211 00:09:02,041 --> 00:09:03,686 WELL, THAT'S TOO BAD, ED. DID YOU EVER THINK THAT IT MIGHT BE YOUR PANCREAS? 212 00:09:03,710 --> 00:09:06,088 DID YOU EVER THINK THAT IT MIGHT BE YOUR PANCREAS? GEE, HONEY, I MUST HAVE 213 00:09:06,112 --> 00:09:08,758 BE YOUR PANCREAS? GEE, HONEY, I MUST HAVE UNTHINKINGLY RULED MY PANCREAS 214 00:09:08,782 --> 00:09:10,560 GEE, HONEY, I MUST HAVE UNTHINKINGLY RULED MY PANCREAS OUT. 215 00:09:10,584 --> 00:09:11,861 UNTHINKINGLY RULED MY PANCREAS OUT. I'LL CHECK ON IT FIRST THING IN 216 00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:13,818 OUT. I'LL CHECK ON IT FIRST THING IN THE MORNING. 217 00:09:19,292 --> 00:09:27,009 I'M SORRY, ED. YOUR PANCREAS IS ON THE FRITZ. YOU CAME TO ME JUST IN TIME. 218 00:09:27,033 --> 00:09:29,845 YOUR PANCREAS IS ON THE FRITZ. YOU CAME TO ME JUST IN TIME. REMINDS ME OF A LITTLE JOKE. 219 00:09:29,869 --> 00:09:31,314 YOU CAME TO ME JUST IN TIME. REMINDS ME OF A LITTLE JOKE. KNOCK, KNOCK. 220 00:09:31,338 --> 00:09:32,915 REMINDS ME OF A LITTLE JOKE. KNOCK, KNOCK. WHO'S THERE? 221 00:09:32,939 --> 00:09:34,684 KNOCK, KNOCK. WHO'S THERE? ED'S PANCREAS. 222 00:09:34,708 --> 00:09:36,786 WHO'S THERE? ED'S PANCREAS. ED'S PANCREAS WHO? 223 00:09:36,810 --> 00:09:38,120 ED'S PANCREAS. ED'S PANCREAS WHO? I DON'T KNOW, ED. 224 00:09:38,144 --> 00:09:41,658 ED'S PANCREAS WHO? I DON'T KNOW, ED. BUT I KNOW THIS... 225 00:09:41,682 --> 00:09:45,417 I DON'T KNOW, ED. BUT I KNOW THIS... GOOD GLANDS DON'T GROW ON TREES. 226 00:09:45,685 --> 00:09:47,985 YEAH, I GUESS I HAVEN'T DONE 227 00:09:48,120 --> 00:09:50,422 RIGHT BY MY... 228 00:09:50,556 --> 00:09:55,092 MY PANCREAS. 229 00:09:55,227 --> 00:09:57,662 GEE, ED, YOU LOOK LIKE A 230 00:09:57,797 --> 00:09:59,163 MILLION BUCKS. 231 00:09:59,298 --> 00:10:00,532 HOW YOU FEELING, HONEY? 232 00:10:00,666 --> 00:10:02,233 FIT AS A FIDDLE... A FIDDLE 233 00:10:02,368 --> 00:10:03,668 WITH A HEALTHY PANCREAS. 234 00:10:03,803 --> 00:10:05,603 [BOTH LAUGH] 235 00:10:14,613 --> 00:10:15,813 Announcer: "SATURDAY NIGHT" 236 00:10:15,914 --> 00:10:17,194 WILL RETURN AFTER THIS WORD FROM 237 00:10:17,282 --> 00:10:18,750 PYROPLEX, THE BASEBALL WITH A 238 00:10:18,884 --> 00:10:20,685 COLLEGE EDUCATION. 239 00:10:25,424 --> 00:10:31,674 YOU KNOW... THANK YOU. YOU KNOW, DURING THE BREAK THAT WE JUST HAD, SOMEBODY CAME UP 240 00:10:31,698 --> 00:10:33,108 YOU KNOW, DURING THE BREAK THAT WE JUST HAD, SOMEBODY CAME UP AND ASKED ME IF SALLY STRUTHERS 241 00:10:33,132 --> 00:10:34,076 WE JUST HAD, SOMEBODY CAME UP AND ASKED ME IF SALLY STRUTHERS WAS REALLY MY WIFE. 242 00:10:34,100 --> 00:10:35,411 AND ASKED ME IF SALLY STRUTHERS WAS REALLY MY WIFE. A LOT OF PEOPLE ASK ME THAT. 243 00:10:35,435 --> 00:10:37,179 WAS REALLY MY WIFE. A LOT OF PEOPLE ASK ME THAT. IT'S NOT TRUE. 244 00:10:37,203 --> 00:10:39,014 A LOT OF PEOPLE ASK ME THAT. IT'S NOT TRUE. MY REAL WIFE IS 245 00:10:39,038 --> 00:10:41,517 IT'S NOT TRUE. MY REAL WIFE IS SENATOR LOWELL WEICKER. 246 00:10:41,541 --> 00:10:42,851 MY REAL WIFE IS SENATOR LOWELL WEICKER. NO, OF COURSE NOT. 247 00:10:42,875 --> 00:10:44,787 SENATOR LOWELL WEICKER. NO, OF COURSE NOT. THAT WOULD BE SILLY, WOULDN'T 248 00:10:44,811 --> 00:10:45,254 NO, OF COURSE NOT. THAT WOULD BE SILLY, WOULDN'T IT? 249 00:10:45,278 --> 00:10:47,356 THAT WOULD BE SILLY, WOULDN'T IT? NO, MY REAL WIFE IS A LADY NAMED 250 00:10:47,380 --> 00:10:49,325 IT? NO, MY REAL WIFE IS A LADY NAMED PENNY MARSHALL, AND SHE'S OUT 251 00:10:49,349 --> 00:10:51,360 NO, MY REAL WIFE IS A LADY NAMED PENNY MARSHALL, AND SHE'S OUT THERE IN CALIFORNIA, AND I WANT 252 00:10:51,384 --> 00:10:52,395 PENNY MARSHALL, AND SHE'S OUT THERE IN CALIFORNIA, AND I WANT TO SAY HELLO. 253 00:10:52,419 --> 00:10:53,262 THERE IN CALIFORNIA, AND I WANT TO SAY HELLO. HI, PENNY. 254 00:10:53,286 --> 00:10:54,297 TO SAY HELLO. HI, PENNY. HELLO, TRACY. 255 00:10:54,321 --> 00:10:55,531 HI, PENNY. HELLO, TRACY. ENOUGH FAMILY STUFF. 256 00:10:55,555 --> 00:10:56,932 HELLO, TRACY. ENOUGH FAMILY STUFF. OKAY, ON WITH THE SHOW. 257 00:10:56,956 --> 00:10:58,501 ENOUGH FAMILY STUFF. OKAY, ON WITH THE SHOW. YOU KNOW, OVER THE LAST FEW 258 00:10:58,525 --> 00:11:00,135 OKAY, ON WITH THE SHOW. YOU KNOW, OVER THE LAST FEW YEARS, PEOPLE HAVE BECOME 259 00:11:00,159 --> 00:11:01,737 YOU KNOW, OVER THE LAST FEW YEARS, PEOPLE HAVE BECOME VERY FASHION-CONSCIOUS... 260 00:11:01,761 --> 00:11:03,105 YEARS, PEOPLE HAVE BECOME VERY FASHION-CONSCIOUS... Announcer: WHAT ROB DOESN'T 261 00:11:03,129 --> 00:11:04,373 VERY FASHION-CONSCIOUS... Announcer: WHAT ROB DOESN'T KNOW IS THAT WE'VE SECRETLY 262 00:11:04,397 --> 00:11:05,541 Announcer: WHAT ROB DOESN'T KNOW IS THAT WE'VE SECRETLY FLOWN HIS WIFE, PENNY, TO 263 00:11:05,565 --> 00:11:07,009 KNOW IS THAT WE'VE SECRETLY FLOWN HIS WIFE, PENNY, TO NEW YORK AND SHE'S IN THE STUDIO 264 00:11:07,033 --> 00:11:07,843 FLOWN HIS WIFE, PENNY, TO NEW YORK AND SHE'S IN THE STUDIO RIGHT NOW. 265 00:11:07,867 --> 00:11:09,345 NEW YORK AND SHE'S IN THE STUDIO RIGHT NOW. AREN'T WE DEVILS? 266 00:11:09,369 --> 00:11:12,981 RIGHT NOW. AREN'T WE DEVILS? [APPLAUSE] 267 00:11:13,005 --> 00:11:16,018 AREN'T WE DEVILS? [APPLAUSE] HEY! 268 00:11:16,042 --> 00:11:19,322 [APPLAUSE] HEY! I... THIS IS... THIS IS AMAZING! 269 00:11:19,346 --> 00:11:21,990 HEY! I... THIS IS... THIS IS AMAZING! I MEAN... 270 00:11:22,014 --> 00:11:23,592 I... THIS IS... THIS IS AMAZING! I MEAN... I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE COMING. 271 00:11:23,616 --> 00:11:25,695 I MEAN... I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE COMING. YEAH, YOU DID. 272 00:11:25,719 --> 00:11:26,529 I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE COMING. YEAH, YOU DID. FASHION SHOW. 273 00:11:26,553 --> 00:11:28,230 YEAH, YOU DID. FASHION SHOW. RIGHT, OH, THE FASHION SHOW. 274 00:11:28,254 --> 00:11:29,665 FASHION SHOW. RIGHT, OH, THE FASHION SHOW. NOW, HERE'S OUR CAST TO 275 00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:31,266 RIGHT, OH, THE FASHION SHOW. NOW, HERE'S OUR CAST TO DEMONSTRATE THE MOST COMMONLY 276 00:11:31,290 --> 00:11:33,135 NOW, HERE'S OUR CAST TO DEMONSTRATE THE MOST COMMONLY MADE FASHION MISTAKES. 277 00:11:33,159 --> 00:11:35,070 DEMONSTRATE THE MOST COMMONLY MADE FASHION MISTAKES. HERE'S GILDA IN A VELOUR 278 00:11:35,094 --> 00:11:37,239 MADE FASHION MISTAKES. HERE'S GILDA IN A VELOUR PANTSUIT, PERFECT FOR THAT 279 00:11:37,263 --> 00:11:39,041 HERE'S GILDA IN A VELOUR PANTSUIT, PERFECT FOR THAT SPECIAL MID-AFTERNOON 280 00:11:39,065 --> 00:11:40,142 PANTSUIT, PERFECT FOR THAT SPECIAL MID-AFTERNOON RENDEZVOUS. 281 00:11:40,166 --> 00:11:42,445 SPECIAL MID-AFTERNOON RENDEZVOUS. CAN YOU FIND GILDA'S FASHION 282 00:11:42,469 --> 00:11:44,179 RENDEZVOUS. CAN YOU FIND GILDA'S FASHION FLAW? 283 00:11:44,203 --> 00:11:46,081 CAN YOU FIND GILDA'S FASHION FLAW? DON'T WEAR YOUR UNDERWEAR ON 284 00:11:46,105 --> 00:11:46,982 FLAW? DON'T WEAR YOUR UNDERWEAR ON THE OUTSIDE. 285 00:11:47,006 --> 00:11:48,818 DON'T WEAR YOUR UNDERWEAR ON THE OUTSIDE. OR, IF YOU ABSOLUTELY MUST, AT 286 00:11:48,842 --> 00:11:50,720 THE OUTSIDE. OR, IF YOU ABSOLUTELY MUST, AT LEAST MAKE SURE YOU GET THE DAY 287 00:11:50,744 --> 00:11:51,821 OR, IF YOU ABSOLUTELY MUST, AT LEAST MAKE SURE YOU GET THE DAY RIGHT. 288 00:11:51,845 --> 00:11:55,391 LEAST MAKE SURE YOU GET THE DAY RIGHT. THANK YOU, GILDA. 289 00:11:55,415 --> 00:11:57,125 RIGHT. THANK YOU, GILDA. HERE'S LARAINE, LOOKING HER 290 00:11:57,149 --> 00:11:58,327 THANK YOU, GILDA. HERE'S LARAINE, LOOKING HER LOVELIEST IN THIS 291 00:11:58,351 --> 00:12:00,128 HERE'S LARAINE, LOOKING HER LOVELIEST IN THIS RHINESTONE-STUDDED CREATION. 292 00:12:00,152 --> 00:12:01,797 LOVELIEST IN THIS RHINESTONE-STUDDED CREATION. CAN YOU SPOT WHERE LARAINE 293 00:12:01,821 --> 00:12:02,698 RHINESTONE-STUDDED CREATION. CAN YOU SPOT WHERE LARAINE SLIPPED UP? 294 00:12:02,722 --> 00:12:04,700 CAN YOU SPOT WHERE LARAINE SLIPPED UP? IN THE LAST-MINUTE RUSH OF 295 00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:06,802 SLIPPED UP? IN THE LAST-MINUTE RUSH OF GETTING READY FOR THAT BIG DATE, 296 00:12:06,826 --> 00:12:08,571 IN THE LAST-MINUTE RUSH OF GETTING READY FOR THAT BIG DATE, DON'T FORGET TO REMOVE THE 297 00:12:08,595 --> 00:12:10,606 GETTING READY FOR THAT BIG DATE, DON'T FORGET TO REMOVE THE CELLOPHANE AND HANGER FROM YOUR 298 00:12:10,630 --> 00:12:13,676 DON'T FORGET TO REMOVE THE CELLOPHANE AND HANGER FROM YOUR FRESHLY DRY-CLEANED CLOTHES. 299 00:12:13,700 --> 00:12:15,244 CELLOPHANE AND HANGER FROM YOUR FRESHLY DRY-CLEANED CLOTHES. THANK YOU, LARAINE. 300 00:12:15,268 --> 00:12:17,312 FRESHLY DRY-CLEANED CLOTHES. THANK YOU, LARAINE. HERE COMES GARRETT, THE TALK OF 301 00:12:17,336 --> 00:12:18,781 THANK YOU, LARAINE. HERE COMES GARRETT, THE TALK OF THE TOWN, IN A SMART, 302 00:12:18,805 --> 00:12:20,850 HERE COMES GARRETT, THE TALK OF THE TOWN, IN A SMART, CONTINENTAL, CHALK-STRIPE SUIT. 303 00:12:20,874 --> 00:12:22,818 THE TOWN, IN A SMART, CONTINENTAL, CHALK-STRIPE SUIT. CAN YOU FIND WHAT FASHION LAW 304 00:12:22,842 --> 00:12:24,754 CONTINENTAL, CHALK-STRIPE SUIT. CAN YOU FIND WHAT FASHION LAW GARRETT'S BREAKING? 305 00:12:24,778 --> 00:12:27,623 CAN YOU FIND WHAT FASHION LAW GARRETT'S BREAKING? DON'T WEAR FURNITURE. 306 00:12:27,647 --> 00:12:29,324 GARRETT'S BREAKING? DON'T WEAR FURNITURE. HAVE FAITH, AND A CHAIR WILL BE 307 00:12:29,348 --> 00:12:31,026 DON'T WEAR FURNITURE. HAVE FAITH, AND A CHAIR WILL BE PROVIDED SHOULD YOU BE REQUIRED 308 00:12:31,050 --> 00:12:32,461 HAVE FAITH, AND A CHAIR WILL BE PROVIDED SHOULD YOU BE REQUIRED TO SIT. 309 00:12:32,485 --> 00:12:35,765 PROVIDED SHOULD YOU BE REQUIRED TO SIT. THANK YOU, GARRETT. 310 00:12:35,789 --> 00:12:37,366 TO SIT. THANK YOU, GARRETT. HERE'S JANE, A WILD AND 311 00:12:37,390 --> 00:12:39,301 THANK YOU, GARRETT. HERE'S JANE, A WILD AND BEGUILING GYPSY, READY TO SET 312 00:12:39,325 --> 00:12:41,069 HERE'S JANE, A WILD AND BEGUILING GYPSY, READY TO SET YOUR HEART AFLAME... WERE IT 313 00:12:41,093 --> 00:12:44,407 BEGUILING GYPSY, READY TO SET YOUR HEART AFLAME... WERE IT NOT FOR ONE FASHION FAUX PAS. 314 00:12:44,431 --> 00:12:46,475 YOUR HEART AFLAME... WERE IT NOT FOR ONE FASHION FAUX PAS. JANE IS WEARING A HAMSTER 315 00:12:46,499 --> 00:12:48,043 NOT FOR ONE FASHION FAUX PAS. JANE IS WEARING A HAMSTER HEAD. 316 00:12:48,067 --> 00:12:49,712 JANE IS WEARING A HAMSTER HEAD. DON'T WEAR HAMSTER HEADS. 317 00:12:49,736 --> 00:12:51,013 HEAD. DON'T WEAR HAMSTER HEADS. YOU'VE GOT A FACE. 318 00:12:51,037 --> 00:12:52,615 DON'T WEAR HAMSTER HEADS. YOU'VE GOT A FACE. LET'S SEE IT. 319 00:12:52,639 --> 00:12:54,249 YOU'VE GOT A FACE. LET'S SEE IT. THANK YOU, JANE. 320 00:12:54,273 --> 00:12:56,351 LET'S SEE IT. THANK YOU, JANE. OH, LOOK, HERE'S DANNY IN A 321 00:12:56,375 --> 00:12:58,454 THANK YOU, JANE. OH, LOOK, HERE'S DANNY IN A DOUBLE-KNIT LEISURE SUIT BY 322 00:12:58,478 --> 00:12:59,955 OH, LOOK, HERE'S DANNY IN A DOUBLE-KNIT LEISURE SUIT BY NORMAN OF NEWARK. 323 00:12:59,979 --> 00:13:03,859 DOUBLE-KNIT LEISURE SUIT BY NORMAN OF NEWARK. WHERE HAS DANNY MISSED THE BOAT? 324 00:13:03,883 --> 00:13:05,093 NORMAN OF NEWARK. WHERE HAS DANNY MISSED THE BOAT? DANNY IS WEARING A 325 00:13:05,117 --> 00:13:06,629 WHERE HAS DANNY MISSED THE BOAT? DANNY IS WEARING A DOUBLE-KNIT LEISURE SUIT BY 326 00:13:06,653 --> 00:13:07,663 DANNY IS WEARING A DOUBLE-KNIT LEISURE SUIT BY NORMAN OF NEWARK. 327 00:13:07,687 --> 00:13:08,631 DOUBLE-KNIT LEISURE SUIT BY NORMAN OF NEWARK. DON'T WEAR THEM. 328 00:13:08,655 --> 00:13:10,065 NORMAN OF NEWARK. DON'T WEAR THEM. THEY MAKE YOU LOOK LIKE A 329 00:13:10,089 --> 00:13:11,767 DON'T WEAR THEM. THEY MAKE YOU LOOK LIKE A MORON. 330 00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:14,770 THEY MAKE YOU LOOK LIKE A MORON. THANK YOU, DANNY. 331 00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:16,972 MORON. THANK YOU, DANNY. SURF'S UP, AND HERE'S JOHN, THE 332 00:13:16,996 --> 00:13:19,174 THANK YOU, DANNY. SURF'S UP, AND HERE'S JOHN, THE BEACHCOMBER, A WELCOME GUEST AT 333 00:13:19,198 --> 00:13:20,275 SURF'S UP, AND HERE'S JOHN, THE BEACHCOMBER, A WELCOME GUEST AT ANY CLAMBAKE. 334 00:13:20,299 --> 00:13:22,411 BEACHCOMBER, A WELCOME GUEST AT ANY CLAMBAKE. CAN YOU GUESS WHERE JOHN WIPED 335 00:13:22,435 --> 00:13:24,079 ANY CLAMBAKE. CAN YOU GUESS WHERE JOHN WIPED OUT? 336 00:13:24,103 --> 00:13:26,048 CAN YOU GUESS WHERE JOHN WIPED OUT? DON'T WEAR LOBSTERS ON YOUR 337 00:13:26,072 --> 00:13:26,816 OUT? DON'T WEAR LOBSTERS ON YOUR EYEBROWS. 338 00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:28,851 DON'T WEAR LOBSTERS ON YOUR EYEBROWS. IT'S PAINFUL, IT'S UNATTRACTIVE, 339 00:13:28,875 --> 00:13:30,820 EYEBROWS. IT'S PAINFUL, IT'S UNATTRACTIVE, AND YOU WON'T SCORE ANY FASHION 340 00:13:30,844 --> 00:13:32,421 IT'S PAINFUL, IT'S UNATTRACTIVE, AND YOU WON'T SCORE ANY FASHION POINTS BY BEING CRUEL TO 341 00:13:32,445 --> 00:13:33,656 AND YOU WON'T SCORE ANY FASHION POINTS BY BEING CRUEL TO CRUSTACEANS. 342 00:13:33,680 --> 00:13:36,191 POINTS BY BEING CRUEL TO CRUSTACEANS. THANK YOU, JOHN. 343 00:13:36,215 --> 00:13:38,393 CRUSTACEANS. THANK YOU, JOHN. AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST, HERE'S 344 00:13:38,417 --> 00:13:40,395 THANK YOU, JOHN. AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST, HERE'S MICHAEL, MR. SOPHISTICATION 345 00:13:40,419 --> 00:13:42,565 AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST, HERE'S MICHAEL, MR. SOPHISTICATION HIMSELF, IN TOP HAT AND TAILS. 346 00:13:42,589 --> 00:13:44,767 MICHAEL, MR. SOPHISTICATION HIMSELF, IN TOP HAT AND TAILS. ONLY ISN'T MICHAEL WEARING ONE 347 00:13:44,791 --> 00:13:50,238 HIMSELF, IN TOP HAT AND TAILS. ONLY ISN'T MICHAEL WEARING ONE TAIL TOO MANY? 348 00:13:50,262 --> 00:13:52,007 ONLY ISN'T MICHAEL WEARING ONE TAIL TOO MANY? DON'T GET CAUGHT WITH A 349 00:13:52,031 --> 00:13:53,308 TAIL TOO MANY? DON'T GET CAUGHT WITH A TOILET-PAPER TAIL. 350 00:13:53,332 --> 00:13:55,344 DON'T GET CAUGHT WITH A TOILET-PAPER TAIL. TOILET PAPER SHOULD BE USED AND 351 00:13:55,368 --> 00:13:56,244 TOILET-PAPER TAIL. TOILET PAPER SHOULD BE USED AND NOT WORN. 352 00:13:56,268 --> 00:13:58,347 TOILET PAPER SHOULD BE USED AND NOT WORN. PEOPLE MIGHT THINK YOU WERE 353 00:13:58,371 --> 00:14:00,282 NOT WORN. PEOPLE MIGHT THINK YOU WERE DOING IT AS A CHEAP JOKE. 354 00:14:00,306 --> 00:14:02,250 PEOPLE MIGHT THINK YOU WERE DOING IT AS A CHEAP JOKE. UH, THANK YOU, MICHAEL. 355 00:14:02,274 --> 00:14:03,786 DOING IT AS A CHEAP JOKE. UH, THANK YOU, MICHAEL. AND THANK YOU, TOO. 356 00:14:03,810 --> 00:14:09,758 UH, THANK YOU, MICHAEL. AND THANK YOU, TOO. WEREN'T THEY WONDERFUL? 357 00:14:09,782 --> 00:14:11,259 AND THANK YOU, TOO. WEREN'T THEY WONDERFUL? WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK AFTER 358 00:14:11,283 --> 00:14:14,123 WEREN'T THEY WONDERFUL? WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK AFTER THIS FILMED MESSAGE. 359 00:14:21,893 --> 00:14:28,777 RIGHT NOW, I'M HAVING BRAIN SURGERY. RIGHT NOW, I'M HAVING A 360 00:14:28,801 --> 00:14:32,748 SURGERY. RIGHT NOW, I'M HAVING A SPINAL FUSION. 361 00:14:32,772 --> 00:14:34,083 RIGHT NOW, I'M HAVING A SPINAL FUSION. RIGHT NOW, I'M HAVING A 362 00:14:34,107 --> 00:14:36,618 SPINAL FUSION. RIGHT NOW, I'M HAVING A VASECTOMY. 363 00:14:36,642 --> 00:14:38,520 RIGHT NOW, I'M HAVING A VASECTOMY. "IMPOSSIBLE," YOU SAY. 364 00:14:38,544 --> 00:14:40,189 VASECTOMY. "IMPOSSIBLE," YOU SAY. NOT WITH GOLDEN NEEDLES VOODOO 365 00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:41,757 "IMPOSSIBLE," YOU SAY. NOT WITH GOLDEN NEEDLES VOODOO ACUPUNCTURE, THE AMAZING NEW 366 00:14:41,781 --> 00:14:43,292 NOT WITH GOLDEN NEEDLES VOODOO ACUPUNCTURE, THE AMAZING NEW SCIENTIFIC BREAKTHROUGH THAT 367 00:14:43,316 --> 00:14:44,827 ACUPUNCTURE, THE AMAZING NEW SCIENTIFIC BREAKTHROUGH THAT COMBINES THE ANCIENT ART OF 368 00:14:44,851 --> 00:14:46,429 SCIENTIFIC BREAKTHROUGH THAT COMBINES THE ANCIENT ART OF CHINESE ACUPUNCTURE WITH THE 369 00:14:46,453 --> 00:14:47,997 COMBINES THE ANCIENT ART OF CHINESE ACUPUNCTURE WITH THE MODERN CONVENIENCE OF HAITIAN 370 00:14:48,021 --> 00:14:48,764 CHINESE ACUPUNCTURE WITH THE MODERN CONVENIENCE OF HAITIAN VOODOO. 371 00:14:48,788 --> 00:14:50,766 MODERN CONVENIENCE OF HAITIAN VOODOO. IF YOU'RE LIKE ME, YOU JUST 372 00:14:50,790 --> 00:14:52,534 VOODOO. IF YOU'RE LIKE ME, YOU JUST DON'T HAVE TIME TO MAKE FREQUENT 373 00:14:52,558 --> 00:14:54,070 IF YOU'RE LIKE ME, YOU JUST DON'T HAVE TIME TO MAKE FREQUENT VISITS TO THE DOCTOR OR LIE 374 00:14:54,094 --> 00:14:55,737 DON'T HAVE TIME TO MAKE FREQUENT VISITS TO THE DOCTOR OR LIE AROUND SOME EXPENSIVE HOSPITAL 375 00:14:55,761 --> 00:14:56,772 VISITS TO THE DOCTOR OR LIE AROUND SOME EXPENSIVE HOSPITAL FOR WEEKS ON END. 376 00:14:56,796 --> 00:14:58,174 AROUND SOME EXPENSIVE HOSPITAL FOR WEEKS ON END. BUT NOW, THANKS TO VOODOO 377 00:14:58,198 --> 00:14:59,842 FOR WEEKS ON END. BUT NOW, THANKS TO VOODOO ACUPUNCTURE, MEDICAL ATTENTION 378 00:14:59,866 --> 00:15:01,410 BUT NOW, THANKS TO VOODOO ACUPUNCTURE, MEDICAL ATTENTION IS AS CLOSE AS YOUR MAILBOX. 379 00:15:01,434 --> 00:15:03,145 ACUPUNCTURE, MEDICAL ATTENTION IS AS CLOSE AS YOUR MAILBOX. SIMPLY JOT YOUR AILMENT DOWN AND 380 00:15:03,169 --> 00:15:04,646 IS AS CLOSE AS YOUR MAILBOX. SIMPLY JOT YOUR AILMENT DOWN AND SEND IT WITH YOUR CHECK OR 381 00:15:04,670 --> 00:15:09,018 SIMPLY JOT YOUR AILMENT DOWN AND SEND IT WITH YOUR CHECK OR MONEY ORDER TO... 382 00:15:09,042 --> 00:15:10,319 SEND IT WITH YOUR CHECK OR MONEY ORDER TO... AND BE SURE TO ENCLOSE A LOCK OF 383 00:15:10,343 --> 00:15:11,420 MONEY ORDER TO... AND BE SURE TO ENCLOSE A LOCK OF YOUR HAIR, A FEW FINGERNAIL 384 00:15:11,444 --> 00:15:12,754 AND BE SURE TO ENCLOSE A LOCK OF YOUR HAIR, A FEW FINGERNAIL PARINGS, AND A RECENT PHOTO. 385 00:15:12,778 --> 00:15:14,023 YOUR HAIR, A FEW FINGERNAIL PARINGS, AND A RECENT PHOTO. ON RECEIPT OF YOUR LETTER, 386 00:15:14,047 --> 00:15:15,424 PARINGS, AND A RECENT PHOTO. ON RECEIPT OF YOUR LETTER, QUALIFIED NATIVE CULTISTS WILL 387 00:15:15,448 --> 00:15:16,993 ON RECEIPT OF YOUR LETTER, QUALIFIED NATIVE CULTISTS WILL FASHION A WAX DOLL IN YOUR 388 00:15:17,017 --> 00:15:18,527 QUALIFIED NATIVE CULTISTS WILL FASHION A WAX DOLL IN YOUR IMAGE, AND THEN A SKILLED 389 00:15:18,551 --> 00:15:20,196 FASHION A WAX DOLL IN YOUR IMAGE, AND THEN A SKILLED CHINESE PHYSICIAN WILL STICK 390 00:15:20,220 --> 00:15:22,531 IMAGE, AND THEN A SKILLED CHINESE PHYSICIAN WILL STICK HEALING PINS INTO THAT DOLL, 391 00:15:22,555 --> 00:15:24,700 CHINESE PHYSICIAN WILL STICK HEALING PINS INTO THAT DOLL, SPEEDING INSTANT RELIEF TO YOU, 392 00:15:24,724 --> 00:15:27,703 SPEEDING INSTANT RELIEF TO YOU, AND ALL FOR ONLY $39.95. 393 00:15:27,727 --> 00:15:29,838 AND ALL FOR ONLY $39.95. THAT'S RIGHT... JUST $39.95 FOR 394 00:15:29,862 --> 00:15:32,008 THAT'S RIGHT... JUST $39.95 FOR OPERATIONS COSTING UP TO $10,000 395 00:15:32,032 --> 00:15:36,012 OPERATIONS COSTING UP TO $10,000 OR $15,000. SO, IF DOCTOR BILLS ARE GIVING 396 00:15:36,036 --> 00:15:37,913 OR $15,000. SO, IF DOCTOR BILLS ARE GIVING YOU A HEADACHE, TRY TREATING 397 00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:40,049 SO, IF DOCTOR BILLS ARE GIVING YOU A HEADACHE, TRY TREATING YOURSELF THE GOLDEN NEEDLES WAY. 398 00:15:40,073 --> 00:15:44,353 YOU A HEADACHE, TRY TREATING YOURSELF THE GOLDEN NEEDLES WAY. THAT'S... 399 00:15:44,377 --> 00:15:45,388 YOURSELF THE GOLDEN NEEDLES WAY. THAT'S... IN CASE OF MEDICAL 400 00:15:45,412 --> 00:15:46,755 THAT'S... IN CASE OF MEDICAL EMERGENCIES, PRIORITY WILL BE 401 00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:48,057 IN CASE OF MEDICAL EMERGENCIES, PRIORITY WILL BE GIVEN TO THE LETTER WITH THE 402 00:15:48,081 --> 00:15:50,993 EMERGENCIES, PRIORITY WILL BE GIVEN TO THE LETTER WITH THE EARLIEST POSTMARK. 403 00:15:51,017 --> 00:15:58,334 GIVEN TO THE LETTER WITH THE EARLIEST POSTMARK. [APPLAUSE] 404 00:15:58,358 --> 00:15:59,534 EARLIEST POSTMARK. [APPLAUSE] LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, 405 00:15:59,558 --> 00:16:01,170 [APPLAUSE] LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, ANDY KAUFMAN. 406 00:16:01,194 --> 00:16:03,127 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, ANDY KAUFMAN. [APPLAUSE] 407 00:16:11,669 --> 00:16:19,669 [INTRO TO "POP! GOES THE WEASEL" PLAYS] [Lip-synching] ♪ ALL AROUND 408 00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:21,790 ["POP! GOES THE WEASEL" PLAYS] [Lip-synching] ♪ ALL AROUND THE COBBLER'S BENCH ♪ 409 00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:24,226 [Lip-synching] ♪ ALL AROUND THE COBBLER'S BENCH ♪ ♪ THE MONKEY CHASED THE WEASEL ♪ 410 00:16:24,250 --> 00:16:25,461 THE COBBLER'S BENCH ♪ ♪ THE MONKEY CHASED THE WEASEL ♪ ♪ THE MONKEY THOUGHT 411 00:16:25,485 --> 00:16:26,962 ♪ THE MONKEY CHASED THE WEASEL ♪ ♪ THE MONKEY THOUGHT 'TWAS ALL IN FUN ♪ 412 00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:29,331 ♪ THE MONKEY THOUGHT 'TWAS ALL IN FUN ♪ ♪ POP! GOES THE WEASEL ♪ 413 00:16:29,355 --> 00:16:31,200 'TWAS ALL IN FUN ♪ ♪ POP! GOES THE WEASEL ♪ ♪ I'VE NO TIME TO WAIT 414 00:16:31,224 --> 00:16:31,800 ♪ POP! GOES THE WEASEL ♪ ♪ I'VE NO TIME TO WAIT NOR SIGH ♪ 415 00:16:31,824 --> 00:16:33,068 ♪ I'VE NO TIME TO WAIT NOR SIGH ♪ ♪ NO PATIENCE TO WAIT 416 00:16:33,092 --> 00:16:34,470 NOR SIGH ♪ ♪ NO PATIENCE TO WAIT TILL BY-AND-BY ♪ 417 00:16:34,494 --> 00:16:35,537 ♪ NO PATIENCE TO WAIT TILL BY-AND-BY ♪ ♪ KISS ME QUICK ♪ 418 00:16:35,561 --> 00:16:36,972 TILL BY-AND-BY ♪ ♪ KISS ME QUICK ♪ ♪ I'M OFF, GOODBYE ♪ 419 00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:39,408 ♪ KISS ME QUICK ♪ ♪ I'M OFF, GOODBYE ♪ ♪ POP! GOES THE WEASEL ♪ 420 00:16:39,432 --> 00:16:40,675 ♪ I'M OFF, GOODBYE ♪ ♪ POP! GOES THE WEASEL ♪ ♪ JOHNNY HAS 421 00:16:40,699 --> 00:16:41,977 ♪ POP! GOES THE WEASEL ♪ ♪ JOHNNY HAS THE WHOOPING COUGH ♪ 422 00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:44,446 ♪ JOHNNY HAS THE WHOOPING COUGH ♪ ♪ MARY HAS THE MEASLES ♪ 423 00:16:44,470 --> 00:16:45,714 THE WHOOPING COUGH ♪ ♪ MARY HAS THE MEASLES ♪ ♪ THAT'S THE WAY 424 00:16:45,738 --> 00:16:47,082 ♪ MARY HAS THE MEASLES ♪ ♪ THAT'S THE WAY THE MONEY GOES ♪ 425 00:16:47,106 --> 00:16:49,284 ♪ THAT'S THE WAY THE MONEY GOES ♪ ♪ POP! GOES THE WEASEL ♪ 426 00:16:49,308 --> 00:16:51,353 THE MONEY GOES ♪ ♪ POP! GOES THE WEASEL ♪ ♪ A PENNY FOR A SPOOL 427 00:16:51,377 --> 00:16:52,021 ♪ POP! GOES THE WEASEL ♪ ♪ A PENNY FOR A SPOOL OF THREAD ♪ 428 00:16:52,045 --> 00:16:54,623 ♪ A PENNY FOR A SPOOL OF THREAD ♪ ♪ A PENNY FOR A NEEDLE ♪ 429 00:16:54,647 --> 00:16:55,757 OF THREAD ♪ ♪ A PENNY FOR A NEEDLE ♪ ♪ THAT'S THE WAY 430 00:16:55,781 --> 00:16:57,092 ♪ A PENNY FOR A NEEDLE ♪ ♪ THAT'S THE WAY THE MONEY GOES ♪ 431 00:16:57,116 --> 00:16:59,861 ♪ THAT'S THE WAY THE MONEY GOES ♪ ♪ POP! GOES THE WEASEL ♪ 432 00:16:59,885 --> 00:17:02,164 THE MONEY GOES ♪ ♪ POP! GOES THE WEASEL ♪ DADDY, SHOULDN'T THAT WORD BE 433 00:17:02,188 --> 00:17:03,032 ♪ POP! GOES THE WEASEL ♪ DADDY, SHOULDN'T THAT WORD BE "MEASLE"? 434 00:17:03,056 --> 00:17:04,266 DADDY, SHOULDN'T THAT WORD BE "MEASLE"? [Lip-synching] [CHUCKLES] 435 00:17:04,290 --> 00:17:06,235 "MEASLE"? [Lip-synching] [CHUCKLES] WELL, YOU CATCH THE MEASLES. 436 00:17:06,259 --> 00:17:08,137 [Lip-synching] [CHUCKLES] WELL, YOU CATCH THE MEASLES. YOU DON'T CATCH ONE MEASLES. 437 00:17:08,161 --> 00:17:10,139 WELL, YOU CATCH THE MEASLES. YOU DON'T CATCH ONE MEASLES. BESIDES, NOT MANY WORDS RHYME 438 00:17:10,163 --> 00:17:11,273 YOU DON'T CATCH ONE MEASLES. BESIDES, NOT MANY WORDS RHYME WITH "WEASEL." 439 00:17:11,297 --> 00:17:13,008 BESIDES, NOT MANY WORDS RHYME WITH "WEASEL." HMM, LET ME SEE. 440 00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:14,510 WITH "WEASEL." HMM, LET ME SEE. MAYBE DIESEL. 441 00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:17,046 HMM, LET ME SEE. MAYBE DIESEL. LET'S MAKE SOME UP, LIKE THIS. 442 00:17:17,070 --> 00:17:19,781 MAYBE DIESEL. LET'S MAKE SOME UP, LIKE THIS. ♪ EDDIE BOUGHT AN AEROPLANE ♪ 443 00:17:19,805 --> 00:17:22,418 LET'S MAKE SOME UP, LIKE THIS. ♪ EDDIE BOUGHT AN AEROPLANE ♪ ♪ AND DANNY BOUGHT A DIESEL ♪ 444 00:17:22,442 --> 00:17:23,852 ♪ EDDIE BOUGHT AN AEROPLANE ♪ ♪ AND DANNY BOUGHT A DIESEL ♪ ♪ THEN THEY LEFT THEM 445 00:17:23,876 --> 00:17:25,154 ♪ AND DANNY BOUGHT A DIESEL ♪ ♪ THEN THEY LEFT THEM OUT IN THE RAIN ♪ 446 00:17:25,178 --> 00:17:27,556 ♪ THEN THEY LEFT THEM OUT IN THE RAIN ♪ ♪ POP! GOES THE WEASEL ♪ 447 00:17:27,580 --> 00:17:29,891 OUT IN THE RAIN ♪ ♪ POP! GOES THE WEASEL ♪ ♪ JANIE HAD A COLD IN THE HEAD ♪ 448 00:17:29,915 --> 00:17:31,260 ♪ POP! GOES THE WEASEL ♪ ♪ JANIE HAD A COLD IN THE HEAD ♪ ♪ SHE CAUGHT HERSELF 449 00:17:31,284 --> 00:17:32,694 ♪ JANIE HAD A COLD IN THE HEAD ♪ ♪ SHE CAUGHT HERSELF A SNEEZE-EL ♪ 450 00:17:32,718 --> 00:17:33,628 ♪ SHE CAUGHT HERSELF A SNEEZE-EL ♪ ♪ SNEEZED HERSELF 451 00:17:33,652 --> 00:17:35,130 A SNEEZE-EL ♪ ♪ SNEEZED HERSELF RIGHT OUT OF BED ♪ 452 00:17:35,154 --> 00:17:37,666 ♪ SNEEZED HERSELF RIGHT OUT OF BED ♪ ♪ POP! GOES THE WEASEL ♪ 453 00:17:37,690 --> 00:17:39,068 RIGHT OUT OF BED ♪ ♪ POP! GOES THE WEASEL ♪ THAT WAS GOOD, DADDY. 454 00:17:39,092 --> 00:17:40,735 ♪ POP! GOES THE WEASEL ♪ THAT WAS GOOD, DADDY. LET ME DO THE SECOND PART NEXT 455 00:17:40,759 --> 00:17:41,470 THAT WAS GOOD, DADDY. LET ME DO THE SECOND PART NEXT TIME, HUH? 456 00:17:41,494 --> 00:17:42,804 LET ME DO THE SECOND PART NEXT TIME, HUH? [Lip-synching] SURE. 457 00:17:42,828 --> 00:17:43,338 TIME, HUH? [Lip-synching] SURE. TRY IT. 458 00:17:43,362 --> 00:17:45,674 [Lip-synching] SURE. TRY IT. ♪ POLLY PUSHED THE WINDOW UP ♪ 459 00:17:45,698 --> 00:17:48,444 TRY IT. ♪ POLLY PUSHED THE WINDOW UP ♪ ♪ TO LET IN A LITTLE BREEZE-EL ♪ 460 00:17:48,468 --> 00:17:49,911 ♪ POLLY PUSHED THE WINDOW UP ♪ ♪ TO LET IN A LITTLE BREEZE-EL ♪ ♪ IT BLEW THE COFFEE 461 00:17:49,935 --> 00:17:50,946 ♪ TO LET IN A LITTLE BREEZE-EL ♪ ♪ IT BLEW THE COFFEE OUT OF HER CUP ♪ 462 00:17:50,970 --> 00:17:53,415 ♪ IT BLEW THE COFFEE OUT OF HER CUP ♪ ♪ POP! GOES THE WEASEL ♪ 463 00:17:53,439 --> 00:17:54,950 OUT OF HER CUP ♪ ♪ POP! GOES THE WEASEL ♪ ♪ SO PETER PUSHED IT 464 00:17:54,974 --> 00:17:56,051 ♪ POP! GOES THE WEASEL ♪ ♪ SO PETER PUSHED IT DOWN AGAIN ♪ 465 00:17:56,075 --> 00:17:58,687 ♪ SO PETER PUSHED IT DOWN AGAIN ♪ ♪ HIS NOSE BEGAN TO FREEZE-EL ♪ 466 00:17:58,711 --> 00:17:59,654 DOWN AGAIN ♪ ♪ HIS NOSE BEGAN TO FREEZE-EL ♪ ♪ HE USED IT 467 00:17:59,678 --> 00:18:01,323 ♪ HIS NOSE BEGAN TO FREEZE-EL ♪ ♪ HE USED IT FOR A FOUNTAIN PEN ♪ 468 00:18:01,347 --> 00:18:04,025 ♪ HE USED IT FOR A FOUNTAIN PEN ♪ ♪ POP! GOES THE WEASEL ♪ 469 00:18:04,049 --> 00:18:06,489 FOR A FOUNTAIN PEN ♪ ♪ POP! GOES THE WEASEL ♪ [MUSIC CONTINUES] 470 00:18:18,763 --> 00:18:24,346 [MUSIC STOPS] [LAUGHTER] [MUSIC RESUMES] 471 00:18:24,370 --> 00:18:25,414 [LAUGHTER] [MUSIC RESUMES] [Lip-synching] ♪ IF YOU 472 00:18:25,438 --> 00:18:27,249 [MUSIC RESUMES] [Lip-synching] ♪ IF YOU KNOW A NICE, LITTLE MOUSE ♪ 473 00:18:27,273 --> 00:18:29,585 [Lip-synching] ♪ IF YOU KNOW A NICE, LITTLE MOUSE ♪ ♪ GIVE IT A PIECE OF CHEESE-EL ♪ 474 00:18:29,609 --> 00:18:31,286 KNOW A NICE, LITTLE MOUSE ♪ ♪ GIVE IT A PIECE OF CHEESE-EL ♪ ♪ YOU'LL NEVER GET IT 475 00:18:31,310 --> 00:18:32,588 ♪ GIVE IT A PIECE OF CHEESE-EL ♪ ♪ YOU'LL NEVER GET IT OUT OF YOUR HOUSE ♪ 476 00:18:32,612 --> 00:18:34,789 ♪ YOU'LL NEVER GET IT OUT OF YOUR HOUSE ♪ ♪ POP! GOES THE WEASEL ♪ 477 00:18:34,813 --> 00:18:36,325 OUT OF YOUR HOUSE ♪ ♪ POP! GOES THE WEASEL ♪ ♪ EXCUSE YOURSELF 478 00:18:36,349 --> 00:18:37,792 ♪ POP! GOES THE WEASEL ♪ ♪ EXCUSE YOURSELF WHENEVER YOU'RE WRONG ♪ 479 00:18:37,816 --> 00:18:38,893 ♪ EXCUSE YOURSELF WHENEVER YOU'RE WRONG ♪ ♪ THANK YOU, SIR, 480 00:18:38,917 --> 00:18:40,395 WHENEVER YOU'RE WRONG ♪ ♪ THANK YOU, SIR, AND PLEASE-EL ♪ 481 00:18:40,419 --> 00:18:41,563 ♪ THANK YOU, SIR, AND PLEASE-EL ♪ Both: ♪ WASN'T THAT 482 00:18:41,587 --> 00:18:45,534 AND PLEASE-EL ♪ Both: ♪ WASN'T THAT A CRAZY SONG? ♪ 483 00:18:45,558 --> 00:18:47,669 Both: ♪ WASN'T THAT A CRAZY SONG? ♪ ♪ POP! ♪ 484 00:18:47,693 --> 00:18:50,805 A CRAZY SONG? ♪ ♪ POP! ♪ ♪ GOES THE WEASEL ♪ 485 00:18:50,829 --> 00:18:52,763 ♪ POP! ♪ ♪ GOES THE WEASEL ♪ [APPLAUSE] 486 00:19:00,072 --> 00:19:04,920 HI, I'M JANE CURTIN, AND WELCOME TO ANOTHER EDITION OF "DANGEROUS BUT INEPT." 487 00:19:04,944 --> 00:19:06,588 WELCOME TO ANOTHER EDITION OF "DANGEROUS BUT INEPT." OUR GUEST THIS WEEK IS 488 00:19:06,612 --> 00:19:08,123 "DANGEROUS BUT INEPT." OUR GUEST THIS WEEK IS SQUEAKY, INFAMOUS FOR HER 489 00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:09,491 OUR GUEST THIS WEEK IS SQUEAKY, INFAMOUS FOR HER ALLEGED ATTEMPT ON THE 490 00:19:09,515 --> 00:19:11,227 SQUEAKY, INFAMOUS FOR HER ALLEGED ATTEMPT ON THE PRESIDENT'S LIFE AND FOR HER 491 00:19:11,251 --> 00:19:12,794 ALLEGED ATTEMPT ON THE PRESIDENT'S LIFE AND FOR HER CONNECTION WITH THE MANSON 492 00:19:12,818 --> 00:19:13,695 PRESIDENT'S LIFE AND FOR HER CONNECTION WITH THE MANSON FAMILY. 493 00:19:13,719 --> 00:19:15,764 CONNECTION WITH THE MANSON FAMILY. SQUEAKY, WELCOME. 494 00:19:15,788 --> 00:19:17,066 FAMILY. SQUEAKY, WELCOME. DIE, LACKEY PIG. 495 00:19:17,090 --> 00:19:18,100 SQUEAKY, WELCOME. DIE, LACKEY PIG. [GUN HAMMER CLICKS] 496 00:19:18,124 --> 00:19:19,768 DIE, LACKEY PIG. [GUN HAMMER CLICKS] ONE THING I'M SURE OUR 497 00:19:19,792 --> 00:19:21,503 [GUN HAMMER CLICKS] ONE THING I'M SURE OUR VIEWERS WOULD BE INTERESTED IN 498 00:19:21,527 --> 00:19:23,239 ONE THING I'M SURE OUR VIEWERS WOULD BE INTERESTED IN KNOWING IS JUST HOW YOU CAME TO 499 00:19:23,263 --> 00:19:24,439 VIEWERS WOULD BE INTERESTED IN KNOWING IS JUST HOW YOU CAME TO BE CALLED "SQUEAKY." 500 00:19:24,463 --> 00:19:26,208 KNOWING IS JUST HOW YOU CAME TO BE CALLED "SQUEAKY." IS THAT A NICKNAME CHARLIE GAVE 501 00:19:26,232 --> 00:19:26,641 BE CALLED "SQUEAKY." IS THAT A NICKNAME CHARLIE GAVE YOU? 502 00:19:26,665 --> 00:19:27,910 IS THAT A NICKNAME CHARLIE GAVE YOU? HE ISN'T "CHARLIE." 503 00:19:27,934 --> 00:19:29,245 YOU? HE ISN'T "CHARLIE." HE'S THE HOLY REDEEMER, 504 00:19:29,269 --> 00:19:30,645 HE ISN'T "CHARLIE." HE'S THE HOLY REDEEMER, BOURGEOIS HOG-FACE. 505 00:19:30,669 --> 00:19:31,881 HE'S THE HOLY REDEEMER, BOURGEOIS HOG-FACE. MEET YOUR MAKER. 506 00:19:31,905 --> 00:19:32,982 BOURGEOIS HOG-FACE. MEET YOUR MAKER. [GUN HAMMER CLICKS] 507 00:19:33,006 --> 00:19:36,418 MEET YOUR MAKER. [GUN HAMMER CLICKS] SQUEAKY... 508 00:19:36,442 --> 00:19:38,453 [GUN HAMMER CLICKS] SQUEAKY... YOU, UH, MADE AN ALLEGED ATTEMPT 509 00:19:38,477 --> 00:19:40,155 SQUEAKY... YOU, UH, MADE AN ALLEGED ATTEMPT ON THE PRESIDENT'S LIFE... 510 00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:42,024 YOU, UH, MADE AN ALLEGED ATTEMPT ON THE PRESIDENT'S LIFE... FAWNING FASCIST SYCOPHANT. 511 00:19:42,048 --> 00:19:43,458 ON THE PRESIDENT'S LIFE... FAWNING FASCIST SYCOPHANT. MAKE WAY FOR THE TRUE 512 00:19:43,482 --> 00:19:45,427 FAWNING FASCIST SYCOPHANT. MAKE WAY FOR THE TRUE REVOLUTION, YOU RAT-DOG. 513 00:19:45,451 --> 00:19:47,863 MAKE WAY FOR THE TRUE REVOLUTION, YOU RAT-DOG. [GUN HAMMER CLICKS] 514 00:19:47,887 --> 00:19:49,498 REVOLUTION, YOU RAT-DOG. [GUN HAMMER CLICKS] SO WHAT IF CHARLIE'S SHORT? 515 00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:51,400 [GUN HAMMER CLICKS] SO WHAT IF CHARLIE'S SHORT? HE'S GOOD AND HE'S KIND, AND HE 516 00:19:51,424 --> 00:19:52,902 SO WHAT IF CHARLIE'S SHORT? HE'S GOOD AND HE'S KIND, AND HE ONLY KILLS WHAT HE EATS! 517 00:19:52,926 --> 00:19:54,703 HE'S GOOD AND HE'S KIND, AND HE ONLY KILLS WHAT HE EATS! JOIN US AGAIN NEXT WEEK FOR 518 00:19:54,727 --> 00:19:56,438 ONLY KILLS WHAT HE EATS! JOIN US AGAIN NEXT WEEK FOR ANOTHER EDITION OF "DANGEROUS 519 00:19:56,462 --> 00:19:58,040 JOIN US AGAIN NEXT WEEK FOR ANOTHER EDITION OF "DANGEROUS BUT INEPT" FOR A CHAT WITH 520 00:19:58,064 --> 00:19:59,108 ANOTHER EDITION OF "DANGEROUS BUT INEPT" FOR A CHAT WITH SARA JANE MOORE. 521 00:19:59,132 --> 00:20:00,009 BUT INEPT" FOR A CHAT WITH SARA JANE MOORE. EAT LEAD. 522 00:20:00,033 --> 00:20:00,976 SARA JANE MOORE. EAT LEAD. [GUN HAMMER CLICKS] 523 00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:02,800 EAT LEAD. [GUN HAMMER CLICKS] GOOD NIGHT. 524 00:20:10,141 --> 00:20:14,456 WE HAVE A CAT FOOD SO GOOD THAT YOU CAN'T TELL IT'S CAT FOOD. 525 00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:16,559 THAT YOU CAN'T TELL IT'S CAT FOOD. AND WE'RE HERE IN FORT FRANCIS, 526 00:20:16,583 --> 00:20:18,126 FOOD. AND WE'RE HERE IN FORT FRANCIS, MISSOURI, TO PROVE IT. 527 00:20:18,150 --> 00:20:20,596 AND WE'RE HERE IN FORT FRANCIS, MISSOURI, TO PROVE IT. HI, I'M TV's ROSS POTTER AT 528 00:20:20,620 --> 00:20:23,065 MISSOURI, TO PROVE IT. HI, I'M TV's ROSS POTTER AT MEL'S VALUE KING FOR FELINA 529 00:20:23,089 --> 00:20:23,832 HI, I'M TV's ROSS POTTER AT MEL'S VALUE KING FOR FELINA KITCHENS. 530 00:20:23,856 --> 00:20:25,634 MEL'S VALUE KING FOR FELINA KITCHENS. WE'VE PREPARED TWO IDENTICAL 531 00:20:25,658 --> 00:20:26,502 KITCHENS. WE'VE PREPARED TWO IDENTICAL CASSEROLES. 532 00:20:26,526 --> 00:20:28,404 WE'VE PREPARED TWO IDENTICAL CASSEROLES. THE ONLY DIFFERENCE... THE ONE 533 00:20:28,428 --> 00:20:30,372 CASSEROLES. THE ONLY DIFFERENCE... THE ONE WAS MADE WITH 80 CENTS' WORTH OF 534 00:20:30,396 --> 00:20:32,441 THE ONLY DIFFERENCE... THE ONE WAS MADE WITH 80 CENTS' WORTH OF EXPENSIVE CANNED TUNA, THE 535 00:20:32,465 --> 00:20:34,743 WAS MADE WITH 80 CENTS' WORTH OF EXPENSIVE CANNED TUNA, THE OTHER, WITH 40 CENTS' WORTH OF 536 00:20:34,767 --> 00:20:37,579 EXPENSIVE CANNED TUNA, THE OTHER, WITH 40 CENTS' WORTH OF FELINA CAT FOOD. 537 00:20:37,603 --> 00:20:39,069 MRS. FRAN BARTMAN, WOULD YOU 538 00:20:39,204 --> 00:20:40,738 TASTE THESE TWO CASSEROLES AND 539 00:20:40,872 --> 00:20:43,841 TELL US WHICH ONE YOU PREFER? 540 00:20:44,109 --> 00:20:50,125 IT'S GOOD. AND NOW THE OTHER. MMM, THIS IS BETTER. 541 00:20:50,149 --> 00:20:51,427 AND NOW THE OTHER. MMM, THIS IS BETTER. TELL ME, HOW DOES THIS 542 00:20:51,451 --> 00:20:52,994 MMM, THIS IS BETTER. TELL ME, HOW DOES THIS COMPARE WITH YOUR TUNA CASSEROLE 543 00:20:53,018 --> 00:20:53,562 TELL ME, HOW DOES THIS COMPARE WITH YOUR TUNA CASSEROLE AT HOME? 544 00:20:53,586 --> 00:20:57,199 COMPARE WITH YOUR TUNA CASSEROLE AT HOME? IT'S, UM... CHUNKIER AND, UH, 545 00:20:57,223 --> 00:20:58,400 AT HOME? IT'S, UM... CHUNKIER AND, UH, CREAMIER. 546 00:20:58,424 --> 00:21:01,437 IT'S, UM... CHUNKIER AND, UH, CREAMIER. IT HAS A HIGHER TUNA-TO-NOODLE 547 00:21:01,461 --> 00:21:02,037 CREAMIER. IT HAS A HIGHER TUNA-TO-NOODLE RATIO. 548 00:21:02,061 --> 00:21:04,039 IT HAS A HIGHER TUNA-TO-NOODLE RATIO. MRS. BARTMAN, WOULD YOU SERVE 549 00:21:04,063 --> 00:21:05,807 RATIO. MRS. BARTMAN, WOULD YOU SERVE THIS TO YOUR FAMILY AT HOME? 550 00:21:05,831 --> 00:21:06,775 MRS. BARTMAN, WOULD YOU SERVE THIS TO YOUR FAMILY AT HOME? YES, I WOULD. 551 00:21:06,799 --> 00:21:07,343 THIS TO YOUR FAMILY AT HOME? YES, I WOULD. I WILL. 552 00:21:07,367 --> 00:21:08,611 YES, I WOULD. I WILL. WHAT WOULD YOU SAY, 553 00:21:08,635 --> 00:21:10,346 I WILL. WHAT WOULD YOU SAY, MRS. BARTMAN, IF I TOLD YOU THAT 554 00:21:10,370 --> 00:21:12,080 WHAT WOULD YOU SAY, MRS. BARTMAN, IF I TOLD YOU THAT THIS CASSEROLE WAS MADE WITH THE 555 00:21:12,104 --> 00:21:13,515 MRS. BARTMAN, IF I TOLD YOU THAT THIS CASSEROLE WAS MADE WITH THE EXPENSIVE TUNA WHILE THIS 556 00:21:13,539 --> 00:21:15,117 THIS CASSEROLE WAS MADE WITH THE EXPENSIVE TUNA WHILE THIS CASSEROLE... THE ONE THAT YOU 557 00:21:15,141 --> 00:21:17,219 EXPENSIVE TUNA WHILE THIS CASSEROLE... THE ONE THAT YOU PREFER... WAS MADE WITH... 558 00:21:17,243 --> 00:21:21,612 CASSEROLE... THE ONE THAT YOU PREFER... WAS MADE WITH... FELINA CAT FOOD? 559 00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:24,081 FELINA CAT FOOD... SO GOOD THAT 560 00:21:24,215 --> 00:21:26,384 YOUR CAT WILL BE TEMPTED TO EAT 561 00:21:26,518 --> 00:21:29,786 IT WITH A FORK. 562 00:21:30,422 --> 00:21:37,061 Announcer: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE LOCKERS. [DANCE MUSIC PLAYS] 563 00:25:04,769 --> 00:25:08,149 [MUSIC STOPS] WE DON'T NEED NO MUSIC! WE DON'T NEED NO MUSIC! 564 00:25:08,173 --> 00:25:09,551 WE DON'T NEED NO MUSIC! WE DON'T NEED NO MUSIC! I GUESS WE DON'T NEED NO 565 00:25:09,575 --> 00:25:10,051 WE DON'T NEED NO MUSIC! I GUESS WE DON'T NEED NO MUSIC. 566 00:25:10,075 --> 00:25:12,221 I GUESS WE DON'T NEED NO MUSIC. ♪ UH-UH, UH-UH, UH ♪ 567 00:25:12,245 --> 00:25:14,789 MUSIC. ♪ UH-UH, UH-UH, UH ♪ HEY, COME ON, MAN. 568 00:25:14,813 --> 00:25:16,891 ♪ UH-UH, UH-UH, UH ♪ HEY, COME ON, MAN. WE'RE JAMMIN' AROUND. 569 00:25:16,915 --> 00:25:18,026 HEY, COME ON, MAN. WE'RE JAMMIN' AROUND. AW, MAN, I'M TIRED. 570 00:25:18,050 --> 00:25:19,094 WE'RE JAMMIN' AROUND. AW, MAN, I'M TIRED. WHAT DO YOU WANT? 571 00:25:19,118 --> 00:25:20,495 AW, MAN, I'M TIRED. WHAT DO YOU WANT? HEY! 572 00:25:20,519 --> 00:25:21,530 WHAT DO YOU WANT? HEY! ♪ BA DA DA ♪ 573 00:25:21,554 --> 00:25:23,131 HEY! ♪ BA DA DA ♪ BA BA! 574 00:25:23,155 --> 00:25:24,833 ♪ BA DA DA ♪ BA BA! HEY, GET DOWN. 575 00:25:24,857 --> 00:25:26,835 BA BA! HEY, GET DOWN. ALL RIGHT. 576 00:25:26,859 --> 00:25:31,773 HEY, GET DOWN. ALL RIGHT. HEY, ALL RIGHT. 577 00:25:31,797 --> 00:25:34,676 ALL RIGHT. HEY, ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT, NOW. 578 00:25:34,700 --> 00:25:36,111 HEY, ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT, NOW. I LIKE THAT. 579 00:25:36,135 --> 00:25:36,645 ALL RIGHT, NOW. I LIKE THAT. HEY! 580 00:25:36,669 --> 00:25:37,178 I LIKE THAT. HEY! HEY! 581 00:25:37,202 --> 00:25:37,746 HEY! HEY! HEY! 582 00:25:37,770 --> 00:25:38,280 HEY! HEY! HEY! 583 00:25:38,304 --> 00:25:39,114 HEY! HEY! NOW, SHABBA-DOO! 584 00:25:39,138 --> 00:25:40,215 HEY! NOW, SHABBA-DOO! All: SHABBA-DOO! 585 00:25:40,239 --> 00:25:41,383 NOW, SHABBA-DOO! All: SHABBA-DOO! HEY, GET DOWN. 586 00:25:41,407 --> 00:25:43,385 All: SHABBA-DOO! HEY, GET DOWN. HEY, IT'S UP TO YOU, SHABBA-DOO. 587 00:25:43,409 --> 00:25:44,886 HEY, GET DOWN. HEY, IT'S UP TO YOU, SHABBA-DOO. WE KNOW WHO YOU ARE, 588 00:25:44,910 --> 00:25:45,654 HEY, IT'S UP TO YOU, SHABBA-DOO. WE KNOW WHO YOU ARE, SHABBA-DOO! 589 00:25:45,678 --> 00:25:47,155 WE KNOW WHO YOU ARE, SHABBA-DOO! OH, GIVE ME A BREAK. 590 00:25:47,179 --> 00:25:49,057 SHABBA-DOO! OH, GIVE ME A BREAK. COME ON, END IT, WILL YOU? 591 00:25:49,081 --> 00:25:50,859 OH, GIVE ME A BREAK. COME ON, END IT, WILL YOU? UH, MMM! 592 00:25:50,883 --> 00:25:55,397 COME ON, END IT, WILL YOU? UH, MMM! [FINALE PLAYS] 593 00:25:55,421 --> 00:25:57,354 UH, MMM! [FINALE PLAYS] [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 594 00:25:57,622 --> 00:25:59,423 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 595 00:26:07,298 --> 00:26:11,046 Announcer: FROM "SATURDAY NIGHT" NEWS HEADQUARTERS, THIS IS "WEEKEND UPDATE" WITH 596 00:26:11,070 --> 00:26:12,680 NIGHT" NEWS HEADQUARTERS, THIS IS "WEEKEND UPDATE" WITH CHEVY CHASE. 597 00:26:12,704 --> 00:26:14,249 IS "WEEKEND UPDATE" WITH CHEVY CHASE. YOU UNDER THE COVERS RIGHT 598 00:26:14,273 --> 00:26:16,851 CHEVY CHASE. YOU UNDER THE COVERS RIGHT NOW? 599 00:26:16,875 --> 00:26:21,923 YOU UNDER THE COVERS RIGHT NOW? DID YOU SHOWER? 600 00:26:21,947 --> 00:26:23,258 NOW? DID YOU SHOWER? [High-pitched voice] GOOD... 601 00:26:23,282 --> 00:26:24,592 DID YOU SHOWER? [High-pitched voice] GOOD... [Normal voice] GOOD EVENING. 602 00:26:24,616 --> 00:26:25,394 [High-pitched voice] GOOD... [Normal voice] GOOD EVENING. I'M CHEVY CHASE. 603 00:26:25,418 --> 00:26:27,095 [Normal voice] GOOD EVENING. I'M CHEVY CHASE. THE TOP STORY IS, OF COURSE, THE 604 00:26:27,119 --> 00:26:28,763 I'M CHEVY CHASE. THE TOP STORY IS, OF COURSE, THE GOOD NEWS THAT PRESIDENT FORD IS 605 00:26:28,787 --> 00:26:30,265 THE TOP STORY IS, OF COURSE, THE GOOD NEWS THAT PRESIDENT FORD IS OVER THAT WEEKLONG BOUT WITH 606 00:26:30,289 --> 00:26:31,366 GOOD NEWS THAT PRESIDENT FORD IS OVER THAT WEEKLONG BOUT WITH THAT STUBBORN COLD. 607 00:26:31,390 --> 00:26:33,035 OVER THAT WEEKLONG BOUT WITH THAT STUBBORN COLD. WHITE HOUSE PHYSICIANS SAY THAT 608 00:26:33,059 --> 00:26:34,669 THAT STUBBORN COLD. WHITE HOUSE PHYSICIANS SAY THAT AFTER A MILD COLD OF THAT SORT, 609 00:26:34,693 --> 00:26:36,338 WHITE HOUSE PHYSICIANS SAY THAT AFTER A MILD COLD OF THAT SORT, IT WILL TAKE THE PRESIDENT A FEW 610 00:26:36,362 --> 00:26:38,040 AFTER A MILD COLD OF THAT SORT, IT WILL TAKE THE PRESIDENT A FEW DAYS TO RECOVER HIS MOTOR SKILLS 611 00:26:38,064 --> 00:26:39,641 IT WILL TAKE THE PRESIDENT A FEW DAYS TO RECOVER HIS MOTOR SKILLS FULLY, CITING THE PERIOD AFTER 612 00:26:39,665 --> 00:26:41,243 DAYS TO RECOVER HIS MOTOR SKILLS FULLY, CITING THE PERIOD AFTER HIS LAST COLD, WHEN HE TIED HIS 613 00:26:41,267 --> 00:26:42,644 FULLY, CITING THE PERIOD AFTER HIS LAST COLD, WHEN HE TIED HIS SHOE TO HIS HAIR BLOWER AND 614 00:26:42,668 --> 00:26:43,845 HIS LAST COLD, WHEN HE TIED HIS SHOE TO HIS HAIR BLOWER AND INADVERTENTLY PARDONED 615 00:26:43,869 --> 00:26:47,349 SHOE TO HIS HAIR BLOWER AND INADVERTENTLY PARDONED RICHARD NIXON. 616 00:26:47,373 --> 00:26:48,517 INADVERTENTLY PARDONED RICHARD NIXON. ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL, 617 00:26:48,541 --> 00:26:49,684 RICHARD NIXON. ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL, GOVERNOR GEORGE WALLACE 618 00:26:49,708 --> 00:26:51,153 ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL, GOVERNOR GEORGE WALLACE EXPRESSED DISAPPOINTMENT THAT 619 00:26:51,177 --> 00:26:52,687 GOVERNOR GEORGE WALLACE EXPRESSED DISAPPOINTMENT THAT THE POPE WOULD NOT GRANT HIM AN 620 00:26:52,711 --> 00:26:53,288 EXPRESSED DISAPPOINTMENT THAT THE POPE WOULD NOT GRANT HIM AN AUDIENCE. 621 00:26:53,312 --> 00:26:54,822 THE POPE WOULD NOT GRANT HIM AN AUDIENCE. THE VATICAN HAS STATED THAT THE 622 00:26:54,846 --> 00:26:56,258 AUDIENCE. THE VATICAN HAS STATED THAT THE POPE SIMPLY DID NOT KNOW WHO 623 00:26:56,282 --> 00:26:57,725 THE VATICAN HAS STATED THAT THE POPE SIMPLY DID NOT KNOW WHO WALLACE WAS, POINTING OUT THAT 624 00:26:57,749 --> 00:26:59,194 POPE SIMPLY DID NOT KNOW WHO WALLACE WAS, POINTING OUT THAT HANDICAPPED PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS 625 00:26:59,218 --> 00:27:02,597 WALLACE WAS, POINTING OUT THAT HANDICAPPED PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS KNOCKING ON HIS DOOR. 626 00:27:02,621 --> 00:27:04,366 HANDICAPPED PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS KNOCKING ON HIS DOOR. STARTING A SPEAKING TOUR THIS 627 00:27:04,390 --> 00:27:05,733 KNOCKING ON HIS DOOR. STARTING A SPEAKING TOUR THIS WEEK, FORMER GOVERNOR 628 00:27:05,757 --> 00:27:07,602 STARTING A SPEAKING TOUR THIS WEEK, FORMER GOVERNOR RONALD REAGAN SPOKE OUT AGAINST 629 00:27:07,626 --> 00:27:09,204 WEEK, FORMER GOVERNOR RONALD REAGAN SPOKE OUT AGAINST MARIJUANA, ABORTION, EQUAL 630 00:27:09,228 --> 00:27:10,972 RONALD REAGAN SPOKE OUT AGAINST MARIJUANA, ABORTION, EQUAL RIGHTS AMENDMENT, BUSING, AND 631 00:27:10,996 --> 00:27:12,474 MARIJUANA, ABORTION, EQUAL RIGHTS AMENDMENT, BUSING, AND GUN-CONTROL LEGISLATION. 632 00:27:12,498 --> 00:27:14,142 RIGHTS AMENDMENT, BUSING, AND GUN-CONTROL LEGISLATION. WHEN ASKED WHAT HE WAS FOR, 633 00:27:14,166 --> 00:27:17,446 GUN-CONTROL LEGISLATION. WHEN ASKED WHAT HE WAS FOR, REAGAN REPLIED, "HAIR DYE." 634 00:27:17,470 --> 00:27:18,780 WHEN ASKED WHAT HE WAS FOR, REAGAN REPLIED, "HAIR DYE." REAGAN STATED THAT, LIKE 635 00:27:18,804 --> 00:27:20,515 REAGAN REPLIED, "HAIR DYE." REAGAN STATED THAT, LIKE WALLACE, HE WAS ALSO CONSIDERING 636 00:27:20,539 --> 00:27:22,050 REAGAN STATED THAT, LIKE WALLACE, HE WAS ALSO CONSIDERING CAMPAIGNING IN A WHEELCHAIR, 637 00:27:22,074 --> 00:27:23,418 WALLACE, HE WAS ALSO CONSIDERING CAMPAIGNING IN A WHEELCHAIR, SAYING, "IT'S NOT FOR THE 638 00:27:23,442 --> 00:27:24,553 CAMPAIGNING IN A WHEELCHAIR, SAYING, "IT'S NOT FOR THE SYMPATHY I CAN GET. 639 00:27:24,577 --> 00:27:26,020 SAYING, "IT'S NOT FOR THE SYMPATHY I CAN GET. IT JUST MAKES THE RACE MORE 640 00:27:26,044 --> 00:27:27,755 SYMPATHY I CAN GET. IT JUST MAKES THE RACE MORE FAIR." 641 00:27:27,779 --> 00:27:29,091 IT JUST MAKES THE RACE MORE FAIR." KINGS ISLAND, OHIO. 642 00:27:29,115 --> 00:27:30,959 FAIR." KINGS ISLAND, OHIO. THIS AFTERNOON, EVEL KNIEVEL 643 00:27:30,983 --> 00:27:32,527 KINGS ISLAND, OHIO. THIS AFTERNOON, EVEL KNIEVEL SUCCESSFULLY JUMPED HIS 644 00:27:32,551 --> 00:27:34,563 THIS AFTERNOON, EVEL KNIEVEL SUCCESSFULLY JUMPED HIS HARLEY-DAVIDSON MOTORCYCLE OVER 645 00:27:34,587 --> 00:27:35,730 SUCCESSFULLY JUMPED HIS HARLEY-DAVIDSON MOTORCYCLE OVER 14 GREYHOUND BUSES. 646 00:27:35,754 --> 00:27:37,265 HARLEY-DAVIDSON MOTORCYCLE OVER 14 GREYHOUND BUSES. EVEL WILL ATTEMPT TO JUMP A 647 00:27:37,289 --> 00:27:38,366 14 GREYHOUND BUSES. EVEL WILL ATTEMPT TO JUMP A GREYHOUND BUS OVER 648 00:27:38,390 --> 00:27:40,001 EVEL WILL ATTEMPT TO JUMP A GREYHOUND BUS OVER FRED MacMURRAY AND HIS ENTIRE 649 00:27:40,025 --> 00:27:43,838 GREYHOUND BUS OVER FRED MacMURRAY AND HIS ENTIRE FAMILY NEXT WEEK. 650 00:27:43,862 --> 00:27:45,407 FRED MacMURRAY AND HIS ENTIRE FAMILY NEXT WEEK. SIRHAN SIRHAN, CONVICTED 651 00:27:45,431 --> 00:27:47,275 FAMILY NEXT WEEK. SIRHAN SIRHAN, CONVICTED ASSASSIN, HAS CHANGED HIS NAME 652 00:27:47,299 --> 00:27:49,711 SIRHAN SIRHAN, CONVICTED ASSASSIN, HAS CHANGED HIS NAME TO SIRHAN SIRHAN SIRHAN. 653 00:27:49,735 --> 00:27:51,246 ASSASSIN, HAS CHANGED HIS NAME TO SIRHAN SIRHAN SIRHAN. HE GAVE NO REASON FOR THIS 654 00:27:51,270 --> 00:27:53,748 TO SIRHAN SIRHAN SIRHAN. HE GAVE NO REASON FOR THIS DECISION. 655 00:27:53,772 --> 00:27:55,117 HE GAVE NO REASON FOR THIS DECISION. WELL, MORE TROUBLE AT THE 656 00:27:55,141 --> 00:27:56,384 DECISION. WELL, MORE TROUBLE AT THE BLAINE HOTEL IN MIDTOWN 657 00:27:56,408 --> 00:27:57,586 WELL, MORE TROUBLE AT THE BLAINE HOTEL IN MIDTOWN MANHATTAN, WHERE THREE 658 00:27:57,610 --> 00:27:59,187 BLAINE HOTEL IN MIDTOWN MANHATTAN, WHERE THREE KIDNAPPERS HAVE BEEN HOLDING A 659 00:27:59,211 --> 00:28:01,656 MANHATTAN, WHERE THREE KIDNAPPERS HAVE BEEN HOLDING A HOSTAGE FOR SOME 20 HOURS NOW. 660 00:28:01,680 --> 00:28:03,258 KIDNAPPERS HAVE BEEN HOLDING A HOSTAGE FOR SOME 20 HOURS NOW. FOR AN ON-THE-SPOT REPORT, LET'S 661 00:28:03,282 --> 00:28:04,859 HOSTAGE FOR SOME 20 HOURS NOW. FOR AN ON-THE-SPOT REPORT, LET'S GO LIVE TO LARAINE NEWMAN AT THE 662 00:28:04,883 --> 00:28:05,627 FOR AN ON-THE-SPOT REPORT, LET'S GO LIVE TO LARAINE NEWMAN AT THE BLAINE HOTEL. 663 00:28:05,651 --> 00:28:06,861 GO LIVE TO LARAINE NEWMAN AT THE BLAINE HOTEL. LARAINE? 664 00:28:06,885 --> 00:28:08,730 BLAINE HOTEL. LARAINE? CHEVY, I'M STANDING OUTSIDE A 665 00:28:08,754 --> 00:28:10,432 LARAINE? CHEVY, I'M STANDING OUTSIDE A ROOM ON THE 18th FLOOR OF THE 666 00:28:10,456 --> 00:28:12,200 CHEVY, I'M STANDING OUTSIDE A ROOM ON THE 18th FLOOR OF THE BLAINE HOTEL, WHERE A GROUP OF 667 00:28:12,224 --> 00:28:13,968 ROOM ON THE 18th FLOOR OF THE BLAINE HOTEL, WHERE A GROUP OF TERRORISTS CALLING THEMSELVES, 668 00:28:13,992 --> 00:28:15,470 BLAINE HOTEL, WHERE A GROUP OF TERRORISTS CALLING THEMSELVES, STRANGELY ENOUGH, SIMPLY 669 00:28:15,494 --> 00:28:19,407 TERRORISTS CALLING THEMSELVES, STRANGELY ENOUGH, SIMPLY "BLOWFISH" ARE HOLDING SEVERAL 670 00:28:19,431 --> 00:28:20,142 STRANGELY ENOUGH, SIMPLY "BLOWFISH" ARE HOLDING SEVERAL HOSTAGES. 671 00:28:20,166 --> 00:28:22,110 "BLOWFISH" ARE HOLDING SEVERAL HOSTAGES. INEXPLICABLY, THEY HAVE INSISTED 672 00:28:22,134 --> 00:28:24,012 HOSTAGES. INEXPLICABLY, THEY HAVE INSISTED THAT FAMED TELEVISION-GAME-SHOW 673 00:28:24,036 --> 00:28:25,780 INEXPLICABLY, THEY HAVE INSISTED THAT FAMED TELEVISION-GAME-SHOW ANNOUNCER DON PARDO READ OFF 674 00:28:25,804 --> 00:28:27,682 THAT FAMED TELEVISION-GAME-SHOW ANNOUNCER DON PARDO READ OFF THEIR LIST OF RANSOM DEMANDS ON 675 00:28:27,706 --> 00:28:29,384 ANNOUNCER DON PARDO READ OFF THEIR LIST OF RANSOM DEMANDS ON NATIONAL TELEVISION. 676 00:28:29,408 --> 00:28:30,752 THEIR LIST OF RANSOM DEMANDS ON NATIONAL TELEVISION. OH, THE DOOR TO THE ROOM APPEARS 677 00:28:30,776 --> 00:28:31,453 NATIONAL TELEVISION. OH, THE DOOR TO THE ROOM APPEARS TO BE OPENING. 678 00:28:31,477 --> 00:28:32,487 OH, THE DOOR TO THE ROOM APPEARS TO BE OPENING. TELL US WHAT THEY WANT, 679 00:28:32,511 --> 00:28:34,021 TO BE OPENING. TELL US WHAT THEY WANT, DON PARDO. 680 00:28:34,045 --> 00:28:35,085 Announcer: LARAINE, THE 681 00:28:35,112 --> 00:28:35,979 KIDNAPPERS WANT TO BE 682 00:28:36,113 --> 00:28:37,247 TRANSPORTED ON ONE OF GOTHAM 683 00:28:37,382 --> 00:28:38,662 CHOPPERS'S QUIET AND COMFORTABLE 684 00:28:38,749 --> 00:28:40,029 EXECUTIVE HELICOPTERS TO KENNEDY 685 00:28:40,151 --> 00:28:40,517 AIRPORT. 686 00:28:40,652 --> 00:28:41,751 GOTHAM... FOR THE LIFT OF A 687 00:28:41,886 --> 00:28:42,352 LIFETIME. 688 00:28:42,487 --> 00:28:43,753 AND WHILE AT KENNEDY, THEY'LL 689 00:28:43,888 --> 00:28:45,522 RECEIVE THREE COMPLETE SETS OF 690 00:28:45,657 --> 00:28:47,023 TRAV-KING AIR-MATE MODEL 691 00:28:47,158 --> 00:28:48,592 CARRYALL LUGGAGE, LARAINE. 692 00:28:48,726 --> 00:28:50,160 AND THEY'LL FLY ON BRITISH 693 00:28:50,295 --> 00:28:51,728 PACIFIC AIRWAYS'S LUXURIOUS 694 00:28:51,862 --> 00:28:53,363 SUNTASTER FANJET TO HAVANA, 695 00:28:53,498 --> 00:28:54,731 CUBA, THE CARIBBEAN'S 696 00:28:54,865 --> 00:28:57,401 UNCHALLENGING ISLAND PARADISE. 697 00:28:57,535 --> 00:28:58,968 AND, LARAINE, THEY'LL BOARD THAT 698 00:28:59,103 --> 00:29:00,237 JET ON 30 SQUARE YARDS OF 699 00:29:00,371 --> 00:29:01,771 BRASLAND CARPET... THEIR CHOICE 700 00:29:01,906 --> 00:29:03,106 OF 16 COLORS AND PATTERNS. 701 00:29:03,241 --> 00:29:04,541 AND WHILE RECEIVING ASYLUM IN 702 00:29:04,676 --> 00:29:06,443 HAVANA, THE KIDNAPPERS WILL STAY 703 00:29:06,578 --> 00:29:08,312 IN THE SUMPTUOUS IMPERIAL SUITE 704 00:29:08,446 --> 00:29:10,180 IN HAVANA'S PLUSH GUEVERA BEACH 705 00:29:10,315 --> 00:29:10,780 HOTEL! 706 00:29:10,915 --> 00:29:12,616 AND THEY'LL BE WEARING THESE 707 00:29:12,750 --> 00:29:14,651 GUIDO SLACKS WHEN THEY DEMAND $2 708 00:29:14,785 --> 00:29:16,486 MILLION WORTH OF REMCO PURE, 709 00:29:16,621 --> 00:29:18,422 REFINED GOLD BULLION FROM FIRST 710 00:29:18,556 --> 00:29:20,390 CITY BANKERS NATIONAL AND REMCO, 711 00:29:20,525 --> 00:29:22,092 GOLD PROCESSORS FOR OVER 50 712 00:29:22,227 --> 00:29:23,227 YEARS! 713 00:29:23,294 --> 00:29:24,595 LARAINE? 714 00:29:24,862 --> 00:29:30,945 AND THAT'S THE WAY IT IS AT THE BLAINE HOTEL. BACK TO YOU, CHEVY CHASE. 715 00:29:30,969 --> 00:29:32,814 THE BLAINE HOTEL. BACK TO YOU, CHEVY CHASE. STILL TO COME, EARTHQUAKE... 716 00:29:32,838 --> 00:29:33,815 BACK TO YOU, CHEVY CHASE. STILL TO COME, EARTHQUAKE... FRIEND OR FOE? 717 00:29:33,839 --> 00:29:35,450 STILL TO COME, EARTHQUAKE... FRIEND OR FOE? SWITZERLAND DECLARES WAR ON 718 00:29:35,474 --> 00:29:37,385 FRIEND OR FOE? SWITZERLAND DECLARES WAR ON ITSELF, AND RUDOLPH HESS PLANS A 719 00:29:37,409 --> 00:29:38,520 SWITZERLAND DECLARES WAR ON ITSELF, AND RUDOLPH HESS PLANS A HALLOWEEN PARTY. 720 00:29:38,544 --> 00:29:45,226 ITSELF, AND RUDOLPH HESS PLANS A HALLOWEEN PARTY. AFTER THIS FILMED MESSAGE. 721 00:29:45,250 --> 00:29:48,763 HALLOWEEN PARTY. AFTER THIS FILMED MESSAGE. [DOORBELL RINGS] 722 00:29:48,787 --> 00:29:51,132 AFTER THIS FILMED MESSAGE. [DOORBELL RINGS] YOU'RE MOVING. 723 00:29:51,156 --> 00:29:53,368 [DOORBELL RINGS] YOU'RE MOVING. SAYING GOODBYE TO OLD FRIENDS, 724 00:29:53,392 --> 00:29:55,570 YOU'RE MOVING. SAYING GOODBYE TO OLD FRIENDS, LOOKING FORWARD TO MAKING NEW 725 00:29:55,594 --> 00:29:56,204 SAYING GOODBYE TO OLD FRIENDS, LOOKING FORWARD TO MAKING NEW ONES. 726 00:29:56,228 --> 00:29:58,506 LOOKING FORWARD TO MAKING NEW ONES. IT'S NOT ALWAYS EASY TO LEAVE A 727 00:29:58,530 --> 00:30:00,342 ONES. IT'S NOT ALWAYS EASY TO LEAVE A PLACE YOU LOVE. 728 00:30:00,366 --> 00:30:01,843 IT'S NOT ALWAYS EASY TO LEAVE A PLACE YOU LOVE. WE UNDERSTAND. 729 00:30:01,867 --> 00:30:03,711 PLACE YOU LOVE. WE UNDERSTAND. THAT'S WHY WE TAKE GOOD CARE OF 730 00:30:03,735 --> 00:30:06,281 WE UNDERSTAND. THAT'S WHY WE TAKE GOOD CARE OF THE THINGS YOU CARE FOR MOST. 731 00:30:06,305 --> 00:30:08,716 THAT'S WHY WE TAKE GOOD CARE OF THE THINGS YOU CARE FOR MOST. AT MIDDLE AMERICAN VAN LINES, WE 732 00:30:08,740 --> 00:30:12,820 THE THINGS YOU CARE FOR MOST. AT MIDDLE AMERICAN VAN LINES, WE BELIEVE IN DOING THINGS RIGHT. 733 00:30:12,844 --> 00:30:15,056 AT MIDDLE AMERICAN VAN LINES, WE BELIEVE IN DOING THINGS RIGHT. WE TREAT EVERYTHING THAT BELONGS 734 00:30:15,080 --> 00:30:16,791 BELIEVE IN DOING THINGS RIGHT. WE TREAT EVERYTHING THAT BELONGS TO YOU JUST AS THOUGH IT 735 00:30:16,815 --> 00:30:19,327 WE TREAT EVERYTHING THAT BELONGS TO YOU JUST AS THOUGH IT BELONGED TO US. 736 00:30:19,351 --> 00:30:20,895 TO YOU JUST AS THOUGH IT BELONGED TO US. WE GIVE YOUR MOST PRIZED 737 00:30:20,919 --> 00:30:22,763 BELONGED TO US. WE GIVE YOUR MOST PRIZED POSSESSIONS THE ATTENTION THEY 738 00:30:22,787 --> 00:30:26,868 WE GIVE YOUR MOST PRIZED POSSESSIONS THE ATTENTION THEY DESERVE, AND WE MAKE SURE YOUR 739 00:30:26,892 --> 00:30:29,237 POSSESSIONS THE ATTENTION THEY DESERVE, AND WE MAKE SURE YOUR ENTIRE HOUSEHOLD REACHES ITS 740 00:30:29,261 --> 00:30:32,581 DESERVE, AND WE MAKE SURE YOUR ENTIRE HOUSEHOLD REACHES ITS DESTINATION IN ONE PIECE. 741 00:30:37,335 --> 00:30:45,335 AT MIDDLE AMERICAN VAN LINES... WE DON'T MOVE FURNITURE. WE MOVE PEOPLE. 742 00:30:46,011 --> 00:30:47,288 WE DON'T MOVE FURNITURE. WE MOVE PEOPLE. Announcer: GUESTS OF 743 00:30:47,312 --> 00:30:48,857 WE MOVE PEOPLE. Announcer: GUESTS OF "SATURDAY NIGHT" STAY AT THE 744 00:30:48,881 --> 00:30:50,591 Announcer: GUESTS OF "SATURDAY NIGHT" STAY AT THE FABULOUS BLAINE HOTEL IN MIDTOWN 745 00:30:50,615 --> 00:30:52,293 "SATURDAY NIGHT" STAY AT THE FABULOUS BLAINE HOTEL IN MIDTOWN MANHATTAN, A NEW YORK TRADITION 746 00:30:52,317 --> 00:30:57,298 FABULOUS BLAINE HOTEL IN MIDTOWN MANHATTAN, A NEW YORK TRADITION FOR OVER 50 YEARS. 747 00:30:57,322 --> 00:30:59,033 MANHATTAN, A NEW YORK TRADITION FOR OVER 50 YEARS. ACID INDIGESTION IN THE NEWS. 748 00:30:59,057 --> 00:31:00,301 FOR OVER 50 YEARS. ACID INDIGESTION IN THE NEWS. THE SIGNING OF A JOINT 749 00:31:00,325 --> 00:31:02,036 ACID INDIGESTION IN THE NEWS. THE SIGNING OF A JOINT COMMUNIQUé BETWEEN GREAT BRITAIN 750 00:31:02,060 --> 00:31:03,604 THE SIGNING OF A JOINT COMMUNIQUé BETWEEN GREAT BRITAIN AND SAUDI ARABIA WAS HELD UP 751 00:31:03,628 --> 00:31:05,206 COMMUNIQUé BETWEEN GREAT BRITAIN AND SAUDI ARABIA WAS HELD UP WEDNESDAY WHEN PRIME MINISTER 752 00:31:05,230 --> 00:31:06,941 AND SAUDI ARABIA WAS HELD UP WEDNESDAY WHEN PRIME MINISTER HAROLD WILSON BECAME SICK TO HIS 753 00:31:06,965 --> 00:31:08,442 WEDNESDAY WHEN PRIME MINISTER HAROLD WILSON BECAME SICK TO HIS STOMACH AND THREW UP ON THE 754 00:31:08,466 --> 00:31:10,812 HAROLD WILSON BECAME SICK TO HIS STOMACH AND THREW UP ON THE PAPERS AT THE CEREMONY. 755 00:31:10,836 --> 00:31:12,313 STOMACH AND THREW UP ON THE PAPERS AT THE CEREMONY. REFERRING TO THE INCIDENT LATER, 756 00:31:12,337 --> 00:31:17,718 PAPERS AT THE CEREMONY. REFERRING TO THE INCIDENT LATER, THE PRIME MINISTER SAID, "PHEW!" 757 00:31:17,742 --> 00:31:19,254 REFERRING TO THE INCIDENT LATER, THE PRIME MINISTER SAID, "PHEW!" AND NOW, AS A PUBLIC SERVICE TO 758 00:31:19,278 --> 00:31:20,721 THE PRIME MINISTER SAID, "PHEW!" AND NOW, AS A PUBLIC SERVICE TO THOSE OF OUR VIEWERS WHO HAVE 759 00:31:20,745 --> 00:31:22,323 AND NOW, AS A PUBLIC SERVICE TO THOSE OF OUR VIEWERS WHO HAVE DIFFICULTY WITH THEIR HEARING, I 760 00:31:22,347 --> 00:31:23,925 THOSE OF OUR VIEWERS WHO HAVE DIFFICULTY WITH THEIR HEARING, I WILL REPEAT THE TOP STORY OF THE 761 00:31:23,949 --> 00:31:25,426 DIFFICULTY WITH THEIR HEARING, I WILL REPEAT THE TOP STORY OF THE DAY AIDED BY THE HEADMASTER OF 762 00:31:25,450 --> 00:31:26,795 WILL REPEAT THE TOP STORY OF THE DAY AIDED BY THE HEADMASTER OF THE NEW YORK SCHOOL FOR THE 763 00:31:26,819 --> 00:31:27,695 DAY AIDED BY THE HEADMASTER OF THE NEW YORK SCHOOL FOR THE HARD-OF-HEARING, 764 00:31:27,719 --> 00:31:32,533 THE NEW YORK SCHOOL FOR THE HARD-OF-HEARING, MR. GARRETT MORRIS. 765 00:31:32,557 --> 00:31:34,567 HARD-OF-HEARING, MR. GARRETT MORRIS. OUR TOP STORY TONIGHT. 766 00:31:34,591 --> 00:31:36,193 OUR TOP STORY! 767 00:31:36,327 --> 00:31:38,795 PRESIDENT FORD OVERCOMES HIS 768 00:31:38,930 --> 00:31:41,731 STUBBORN, WEEKLONG COLD! 769 00:31:46,938 --> 00:31:49,818 WELL, THAT'S THE NEWS TONIGHT. I'M CHEVY CHASE. 770 00:31:49,842 --> 00:31:51,519 TONIGHT. I'M CHEVY CHASE. GOOD NIGHT AND HAVE A PLEASANT 771 00:31:51,543 --> 00:31:57,792 I'M CHEVY CHASE. GOOD NIGHT AND HAVE A PLEASANT TOMORROW. 772 00:31:57,816 --> 00:31:59,160 GOOD NIGHT AND HAVE A PLEASANT TOMORROW. A GUY WHO JUST FLEW IN FROM 773 00:31:59,184 --> 00:32:00,595 TOMORROW. A GUY WHO JUST FLEW IN FROM LONDON, HE'S A SUPER ROCK STAR. 774 00:32:00,619 --> 00:32:01,763 A GUY WHO JUST FLEW IN FROM LONDON, HE'S A SUPER ROCK STAR. HE NEEDS NO INTRODUCTION. 775 00:32:01,787 --> 00:32:03,098 LONDON, HE'S A SUPER ROCK STAR. HE NEEDS NO INTRODUCTION. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, HERE HE 776 00:32:03,122 --> 00:32:05,166 HE NEEDS NO INTRODUCTION. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, HERE HE IS. 777 00:32:05,190 --> 00:32:07,168 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, HERE HE IS. [BAND PLAYING "WITH A LITTLE 778 00:32:07,192 --> 00:32:09,312 IS. [BAND PLAYING "WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIENDS"] 779 00:32:36,287 --> 00:32:44,238 ♪ WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF I SANG OUT OF TUNE? ♪ ♪ WOULD YOU STAND UP AND WALK 780 00:32:44,262 --> 00:32:47,108 OUT OF TUNE? ♪ ♪ WOULD YOU STAND UP AND WALK OUT ON ME? ♪ 781 00:32:47,132 --> 00:32:50,679 ♪ WOULD YOU STAND UP AND WALK OUT ON ME? ♪ ♪ LEND ME YOUR EAR AND I'LL ♪ 782 00:32:50,703 --> 00:32:53,648 OUT ON ME? ♪ ♪ LEND ME YOUR EAR AND I'LL ♪ ♪ I'LL SING YOU A SONG ♪ 783 00:32:53,672 --> 00:32:55,583 ♪ LEND ME YOUR EAR AND I'LL ♪ ♪ I'LL SING YOU A SONG ♪ ♪ OH, I WILL TRY NOT TO SING OUT 784 00:32:55,607 --> 00:32:56,551 ♪ I'LL SING YOU A SONG ♪ ♪ OH, I WILL TRY NOT TO SING OUT OF KEY ♪ 785 00:32:56,575 --> 00:32:57,986 ♪ OH, I WILL TRY NOT TO SING OUT OF KEY ♪ ♪ OH, BABY, I GET ♪ 786 00:32:58,010 --> 00:33:00,689 OF KEY ♪ ♪ OH, BABY, I GET ♪ ♪ BY WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM 787 00:33:00,713 --> 00:33:01,556 ♪ OH, BABY, I GET ♪ ♪ BY WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪ 788 00:33:01,580 --> 00:33:03,124 ♪ BY WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪ ♪ WELL, DON'T YOU KNOW I'M 789 00:33:03,148 --> 00:33:03,958 MY FRIENDS ♪ ♪ WELL, DON'T YOU KNOW I'M GONNA GET ♪ 790 00:33:03,982 --> 00:33:05,526 ♪ WELL, DON'T YOU KNOW I'M GONNA GET ♪ ♪ HIGH WITH A LITTLE HELP 791 00:33:05,550 --> 00:33:07,062 GONNA GET ♪ ♪ HIGH WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪ 792 00:33:07,086 --> 00:33:08,396 ♪ HIGH WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪ ♪ DON'T YOU KNOW I'M GONNA 793 00:33:08,420 --> 00:33:09,397 FROM MY FRIENDS ♪ ♪ DON'T YOU KNOW I'M GONNA GET MY FRIENDS ♪ 794 00:33:09,421 --> 00:33:11,532 ♪ DON'T YOU KNOW I'M GONNA GET MY FRIENDS ♪ ♪ TRY WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM 795 00:33:11,556 --> 00:33:12,200 GET MY FRIENDS ♪ ♪ TRY WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪ 796 00:33:12,224 --> 00:33:16,037 ♪ TRY WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪ ♪ OHHHH, YEAH! ♪ 797 00:33:16,061 --> 00:33:19,908 MY FRIENDS ♪ ♪ OHHHH, YEAH! ♪ ♪ OHHH ♪ 798 00:33:19,932 --> 00:33:24,045 ♪ OHHHH, YEAH! ♪ ♪ OHHH ♪ ♪ WHAT DO I DO WHEN MY LOVE IS 799 00:33:24,069 --> 00:33:25,080 ♪ OHHH ♪ ♪ WHAT DO I DO WHEN MY LOVE IS AWAY? ♪ 800 00:33:25,104 --> 00:33:27,782 ♪ WHAT DO I DO WHEN MY LOVE IS AWAY? ♪ ♪ DOES IT WORRY YOU TO BE 801 00:33:27,806 --> 00:33:28,917 AWAY? ♪ ♪ DOES IT WORRY YOU TO BE ALONE? ♪ 802 00:33:28,941 --> 00:33:31,352 ♪ DOES IT WORRY YOU TO BE ALONE? ♪ ♪ OH, NO ♪ 803 00:33:31,376 --> 00:33:35,123 ALONE? ♪ ♪ OH, NO ♪ ♪ HOW DO I FEEL AT THE END OF 804 00:33:35,147 --> 00:33:35,957 ♪ OH, NO ♪ ♪ HOW DO I FEEL AT THE END OF THE DAY? ♪ 805 00:33:35,981 --> 00:33:38,026 ♪ HOW DO I FEEL AT THE END OF THE DAY? ♪ ♪ ARE YOU SAD BECAUSE YOU'RE 806 00:33:38,050 --> 00:33:40,195 THE DAY? ♪ ♪ ARE YOU SAD BECAUSE YOU'RE ALL ALONE? ♪ 807 00:33:40,219 --> 00:33:41,996 ♪ ARE YOU SAD BECAUSE YOU'RE ALL ALONE? ♪ ♪ OHH, BABY, I ♪ 808 00:33:42,020 --> 00:33:43,698 ALL ALONE? ♪ ♪ OHH, BABY, I ♪ ♪ GET BY WITH A LITTLE HELP 809 00:33:43,722 --> 00:33:45,133 ♪ OHH, BABY, I ♪ ♪ GET BY WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪ 810 00:33:45,157 --> 00:33:46,634 ♪ GET BY WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪ ♪ WELL, DON'T YOU KNOW I WANT 811 00:33:46,658 --> 00:33:47,668 FROM MY FRIENDS ♪ ♪ WELL, DON'T YOU KNOW I WANT TO GET HIGH? ♪ 812 00:33:47,692 --> 00:33:49,070 ♪ WELL, DON'T YOU KNOW I WANT TO GET HIGH? ♪ ♪ HIGH WITH A LITTLE HELP 813 00:33:49,094 --> 00:33:51,206 TO GET HIGH? ♪ ♪ HIGH WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪ 814 00:33:51,230 --> 00:33:52,640 ♪ HIGH WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪ ♪ OHHHH, YEAH ♪ 815 00:33:52,664 --> 00:33:54,776 FROM MY FRIENDS ♪ ♪ OHHHH, YEAH ♪ ♪ TRY WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM 816 00:33:54,800 --> 00:33:58,146 ♪ OHHHH, YEAH ♪ ♪ TRY WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪ 817 00:33:58,170 --> 00:34:01,938 ♪ TRY WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪ ♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪ 818 00:34:07,044 --> 00:34:12,493 ♪ DO YOU NEED ANYBODY? ♪ ♪ YEAH ♪ ♪ WHOO! ♪ 819 00:34:12,517 --> 00:34:14,262 ♪ YEAH ♪ ♪ WHOO! ♪ ♪ I JUST NEED SOMEONE TO 820 00:34:14,286 --> 00:34:17,732 ♪ WHOO! ♪ ♪ I JUST NEED SOMEONE TO LOVE ♪ 821 00:34:17,756 --> 00:34:21,102 ♪ I JUST NEED SOMEONE TO LOVE ♪ ♪ COULD IT BE ANYBODY? ♪ 822 00:34:21,126 --> 00:34:23,838 LOVE ♪ ♪ COULD IT BE ANYBODY? ♪ ♪ WELL, I NEED SOMEONE ♪ 823 00:34:23,862 --> 00:34:27,475 ♪ COULD IT BE ANYBODY? ♪ ♪ WELL, I NEED SOMEONE ♪ ♪ OH-OH, OHHHH, YEAH ♪ 824 00:34:27,499 --> 00:34:33,714 ♪ WELL, I NEED SOMEONE ♪ ♪ OH-OH, OHHHH, YEAH ♪ ♪ WH-O-O-OA, HA-A-A, OHHHH ♪ 825 00:34:33,738 --> 00:34:35,216 ♪ OH-OH, OHHHH, YEAH ♪ ♪ WH-O-O-OA, HA-A-A, OHHHH ♪ BABY! 826 00:34:35,240 --> 00:34:37,351 ♪ WH-O-O-OA, HA-A-A, OHHHH ♪ BABY! ♪ BY WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM 827 00:34:37,375 --> 00:34:40,488 BABY! ♪ BY WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪ 828 00:34:40,512 --> 00:34:42,690 ♪ BY WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪ ♪ HIGH WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM 829 00:34:42,714 --> 00:34:45,827 MY FRIENDS ♪ ♪ HIGH WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪ 830 00:34:45,851 --> 00:34:47,996 ♪ HIGH WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪ ♪ TRY WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM 831 00:34:48,020 --> 00:34:50,765 MY FRIENDS ♪ ♪ TRY WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪ 832 00:34:50,789 --> 00:34:56,337 ♪ TRY WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪ ♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪ 833 00:34:56,361 --> 00:35:01,475 MY FRIENDS ♪ ♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪ ♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪ 834 00:35:01,499 --> 00:35:06,580 ♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪ ♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪ ♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪ 835 00:35:06,604 --> 00:35:11,752 ♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪ ♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪ ♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪ 836 00:35:11,776 --> 00:35:14,189 ♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪ ♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪ ♪ HIGH WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM 837 00:35:14,213 --> 00:35:16,858 ♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪ ♪ HIGH WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪ 838 00:35:16,882 --> 00:35:19,727 ♪ HIGH WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪ [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 839 00:35:19,751 --> 00:35:21,462 MY FRIENDS ♪ [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Announcer: COME WITH US NOW, 840 00:35:21,486 --> 00:35:23,031 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Announcer: COME WITH US NOW, FROM THE BUBBLING TAR PITS TO 841 00:35:23,055 --> 00:35:24,632 Announcer: COME WITH US NOW, FROM THE BUBBLING TAR PITS TO THE SULFUROUS WASTELAND, FROM 842 00:35:24,656 --> 00:35:26,067 FROM THE BUBBLING TAR PITS TO THE SULFUROUS WASTELAND, FROM THE ROTTING FORESTS TO THE 843 00:35:26,091 --> 00:35:28,102 THE SULFUROUS WASTELAND, FROM THE ROTTING FORESTS TO THE STAGNANT MUD FLATS, TO THE LAND 844 00:35:28,126 --> 00:35:30,171 THE ROTTING FORESTS TO THE STAGNANT MUD FLATS, TO THE LAND OF GORCH. 845 00:35:30,195 --> 00:35:33,774 STAGNANT MUD FLATS, TO THE LAND OF GORCH. UH, OH, YEAH, YEAH. YEAH. 846 00:35:33,798 --> 00:35:35,476 OF GORCH. UH, OH, YEAH, YEAH. YEAH. LITTLE TO THE LEFT THERE, SCRED. 847 00:35:35,500 --> 00:35:35,944 UH, OH, YEAH, YEAH. YEAH. LITTLE TO THE LEFT THERE, SCRED. YEAH. 848 00:35:35,968 --> 00:35:37,411 LITTLE TO THE LEFT THERE, SCRED. YEAH. OH, WAIT! YOU GOT THE SPOT! 849 00:35:37,435 --> 00:35:39,080 YEAH. OH, WAIT! YOU GOT THE SPOT! OH, YEAH! OH, YEAH! 850 00:35:39,104 --> 00:35:39,714 OH, WAIT! YOU GOT THE SPOT! OH, YEAH! OH, YEAH! PLOOBIS! 851 00:35:39,738 --> 00:35:40,348 OH, YEAH! OH, YEAH! PLOOBIS! UH, HUH? 852 00:35:40,372 --> 00:35:41,716 PLOOBIS! UH, HUH? DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR SON, 853 00:35:41,740 --> 00:35:42,683 UH, HUH? DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR SON, WISSS, IS DOING? 854 00:35:42,707 --> 00:35:44,285 DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR SON, WISSS, IS DOING? WHAT, HAS HE LOCKED HIMSELF 855 00:35:44,309 --> 00:35:45,954 WISSS, IS DOING? WHAT, HAS HE LOCKED HIMSELF IN THE BATHROOM WITH A MAGAZINE 856 00:35:45,978 --> 00:35:46,454 WHAT, HAS HE LOCKED HIMSELF IN THE BATHROOM WITH A MAGAZINE AGAIN? 857 00:35:46,478 --> 00:35:47,488 IN THE BATHROOM WITH A MAGAZINE AGAIN? [LAUGHS] 858 00:35:47,512 --> 00:35:48,622 AGAIN? [LAUGHS] NO! 859 00:35:48,646 --> 00:35:51,092 [LAUGHS] NO! YOUR SON, WISSS, IS SMOKING... 860 00:35:51,116 --> 00:35:52,426 NO! YOUR SON, WISSS, IS SMOKING... CRATERS. 861 00:35:52,450 --> 00:35:53,061 YOUR SON, WISSS, IS SMOKING... CRATERS. NO! 862 00:35:53,085 --> 00:35:53,728 CRATERS. NO! YES. 863 00:35:53,752 --> 00:35:54,829 NO! YES. NOT MY SON. 864 00:35:54,853 --> 00:35:57,031 YES. NOT MY SON. WHY, MY SON IS A... HE'S A... 865 00:35:57,055 --> 00:35:58,032 NOT MY SON. WHY, MY SON IS A... HE'S A... A CRATER-HEAD. 866 00:35:58,056 --> 00:35:59,067 WHY, MY SON IS A... HE'S A... A CRATER-HEAD. A CRATER-HEAD. 867 00:35:59,091 --> 00:36:00,235 A CRATER-HEAD. A CRATER-HEAD. NO, HE IS NOT! 868 00:36:00,259 --> 00:36:00,935 A CRATER-HEAD. NO, HE IS NOT! OW! 869 00:36:00,959 --> 00:36:02,403 NO, HE IS NOT! OW! MY SON IS NOT A CRATER-HEAD. 870 00:36:02,427 --> 00:36:03,171 OW! MY SON IS NOT A CRATER-HEAD. YES, HE IS! 871 00:36:03,195 --> 00:36:04,205 MY SON IS NOT A CRATER-HEAD. YES, HE IS! GO LOOK FOR YOURSELF. 872 00:36:04,229 --> 00:36:07,342 YES, HE IS! GO LOOK FOR YOURSELF. ALL RIGHT, I WILL. 873 00:36:07,366 --> 00:36:09,410 GO LOOK FOR YOURSELF. ALL RIGHT, I WILL. COOTCHIE, COOTCHIE, COOTCHIE. 874 00:36:09,434 --> 00:36:10,511 ALL RIGHT, I WILL. COOTCHIE, COOTCHIE, COOTCHIE. [LAUGHS] 875 00:36:10,535 --> 00:36:12,580 COOTCHIE, COOTCHIE, COOTCHIE. [LAUGHS] NOT NOW, SUGAR CLAWS. 876 00:36:12,604 --> 00:36:18,486 [LAUGHS] NOT NOW, SUGAR CLAWS. [LAUGHS] 877 00:36:18,510 --> 00:36:19,988 NOT NOW, SUGAR CLAWS. [LAUGHS] [EXHALES SHARPLY] 878 00:36:20,012 --> 00:36:22,190 [LAUGHS] [EXHALES SHARPLY] [SNIFFING] 879 00:36:22,214 --> 00:36:26,794 [EXHALES SHARPLY] [SNIFFING] ♪ ON TOP OF OLD SMOKY ♪ 880 00:36:26,818 --> 00:36:28,062 [SNIFFING] ♪ ON TOP OF OLD SMOKY ♪ HEY! 881 00:36:28,086 --> 00:36:29,797 ♪ ON TOP OF OLD SMOKY ♪ HEY! DIDN'T I EVER TELL YOU NOT TO 882 00:36:29,821 --> 00:36:30,899 HEY! DIDN'T I EVER TELL YOU NOT TO SMOKE THAT STUFF? 883 00:36:30,923 --> 00:36:32,033 DIDN'T I EVER TELL YOU NOT TO SMOKE THAT STUFF? HEY, MAN, WOW. 884 00:36:32,057 --> 00:36:34,002 SMOKE THAT STUFF? HEY, MAN, WOW. YOUR AURA'S REALLY RED. 885 00:36:34,026 --> 00:36:35,003 HEY, MAN, WOW. YOUR AURA'S REALLY RED. ARGH! 886 00:36:35,027 --> 00:36:36,470 YOUR AURA'S REALLY RED. ARGH! YOUR AURA'S GONNA BE BLACK AND 887 00:36:36,494 --> 00:36:37,872 ARGH! YOUR AURA'S GONNA BE BLACK AND BLUE IN A MINUTE, FELLA. 888 00:36:37,896 --> 00:36:39,307 YOUR AURA'S GONNA BE BLACK AND BLUE IN A MINUTE, FELLA. HEY, LIGHTEN UP, JACK. 889 00:36:39,331 --> 00:36:40,108 BLUE IN A MINUTE, FELLA. HEY, LIGHTEN UP, JACK. LIGHTEN UP. 890 00:36:40,132 --> 00:36:40,808 HEY, LIGHTEN UP, JACK. LIGHTEN UP. LISTEN. 891 00:36:40,832 --> 00:36:42,377 LIGHTEN UP. LISTEN. ALL THE EVIDENCE IS NOT IN, 892 00:36:42,401 --> 00:36:42,944 LISTEN. ALL THE EVIDENCE IS NOT IN, BUSTER. 893 00:36:42,968 --> 00:36:44,445 ALL THE EVIDENCE IS NOT IN, BUSTER. THAT STUFF THERE ROTS YOUR 894 00:36:44,469 --> 00:36:44,979 BUSTER. THAT STUFF THERE ROTS YOUR BRAIN. 895 00:36:45,003 --> 00:36:45,780 THAT STUFF THERE ROTS YOUR BRAIN. OH, YEAH? 896 00:36:45,804 --> 00:36:46,414 BRAIN. OH, YEAH? YEAH. 897 00:36:46,438 --> 00:36:47,248 OH, YEAH? YEAH. OH, YEAH? 898 00:36:47,272 --> 00:36:47,882 YEAH. OH, YEAH? YEAH. 899 00:36:47,906 --> 00:36:48,682 OH, YEAH? YEAH. OH, YEAH? 900 00:36:48,706 --> 00:36:49,317 YEAH. OH, YEAH? YEAH! 901 00:36:49,341 --> 00:36:51,752 OH, YEAH? YEAH! "YEAH" WHAT? 902 00:36:51,776 --> 00:36:52,553 YEAH! "YEAH" WHAT? SEE THAT? 903 00:36:52,577 --> 00:36:53,654 "YEAH" WHAT? SEE THAT? IT ROTS YOUR BRAIN. 904 00:36:53,678 --> 00:36:55,356 SEE THAT? IT ROTS YOUR BRAIN. WHAT DO YOU NEED THAT STUFF FOR? 905 00:36:55,380 --> 00:36:58,726 IT ROTS YOUR BRAIN. WHAT DO YOU NEED THAT STUFF FOR? LOOK AT ME. I'M HIGH ON LIFE. 906 00:36:58,750 --> 00:36:59,794 WHAT DO YOU NEED THAT STUFF FOR? LOOK AT ME. I'M HIGH ON LIFE. YEAH. 907 00:36:59,818 --> 00:37:00,428 LOOK AT ME. I'M HIGH ON LIFE. YEAH. SIRE? 908 00:37:00,452 --> 00:37:01,029 YEAH. SIRE? WHAT? 909 00:37:01,053 --> 00:37:02,763 SIRE? WHAT? PERHAPS IT WOULD HELP IF YOU 910 00:37:02,787 --> 00:37:04,399 WHAT? PERHAPS IT WOULD HELP IF YOU SPOKE TO THE YOUNGSTER IN HIS 911 00:37:04,423 --> 00:37:05,599 PERHAPS IT WOULD HELP IF YOU SPOKE TO THE YOUNGSTER IN HIS OWN LANGUAGE. 912 00:37:05,623 --> 00:37:07,802 SPOKE TO THE YOUNGSTER IN HIS OWN LANGUAGE. AH, GOOD THINKING, SCRED. 913 00:37:07,826 --> 00:37:08,536 OWN LANGUAGE. AH, GOOD THINKING, SCRED. MM-HMM. 914 00:37:08,560 --> 00:37:09,203 AH, GOOD THINKING, SCRED. MM-HMM. UH... 915 00:37:09,227 --> 00:37:10,238 MM-HMM. UH... [CLEARS THROAT] 916 00:37:10,262 --> 00:37:13,507 UH... [CLEARS THROAT] HEY, LISTEN, UH... DUDE. 917 00:37:13,531 --> 00:37:15,743 [CLEARS THROAT] HEY, LISTEN, UH... DUDE. UH... BIG DADDY-O HERE WANTS YOU 918 00:37:15,767 --> 00:37:18,046 HEY, LISTEN, UH... DUDE. UH... BIG DADDY-O HERE WANTS YOU TO IXNAY WITH THE CRATER SMOKE. 919 00:37:18,070 --> 00:37:19,213 UH... BIG DADDY-O HERE WANTS YOU TO IXNAY WITH THE CRATER SMOKE. YOU DIG, HUH? 920 00:37:19,237 --> 00:37:21,515 TO IXNAY WITH THE CRATER SMOKE. YOU DIG, HUH? HEY, MAN, DON'T DOWN ME WITH 921 00:37:21,539 --> 00:37:23,551 YOU DIG, HUH? HEY, MAN, DON'T DOWN ME WITH THOSE BAD VIBES, DAD. 922 00:37:23,575 --> 00:37:24,052 HEY, MAN, DON'T DOWN ME WITH THOSE BAD VIBES, DAD. AAH! 923 00:37:24,076 --> 00:37:25,320 THOSE BAD VIBES, DAD. AAH! COME... COME HERE, SCRED. 924 00:37:25,344 --> 00:37:25,853 AAH! COME... COME HERE, SCRED. HUH? 925 00:37:25,877 --> 00:37:27,355 COME... COME HERE, SCRED. HUH? LISTEN, I CAN NO LONGER TALK 926 00:37:27,379 --> 00:37:28,056 HUH? LISTEN, I CAN NO LONGER TALK TO THE LAD. 927 00:37:28,080 --> 00:37:29,523 LISTEN, I CAN NO LONGER TALK TO THE LAD. I WANT YOU TO TELL HIM THAT IF 928 00:37:29,547 --> 00:37:30,925 TO THE LAD. I WANT YOU TO TELL HIM THAT IF HE DOESN'T STOP SMOKING THAT 929 00:37:30,949 --> 00:37:31,692 I WANT YOU TO TELL HIM THAT IF HE DOESN'T STOP SMOKING THAT STUFF... 930 00:37:31,716 --> 00:37:32,226 HE DOESN'T STOP SMOKING THAT STUFF... OW! 931 00:37:32,250 --> 00:37:33,962 STUFF... OW! I'M GONNA DO THIS TO HIM. 932 00:37:33,986 --> 00:37:35,363 OW! I'M GONNA DO THIS TO HIM. AAH! 933 00:37:35,387 --> 00:37:37,598 I'M GONNA DO THIS TO HIM. AAH! OW! I'M SURE HE'LL HATE THAT. 934 00:37:37,622 --> 00:37:39,267 AAH! OW! I'M SURE HE'LL HATE THAT. YEAH. 935 00:37:39,291 --> 00:37:41,069 OW! I'M SURE HE'LL HATE THAT. YEAH. AH, THE BOSS SAYS THAT... 936 00:37:41,093 --> 00:37:42,770 YEAH. AH, THE BOSS SAYS THAT... YEAH, WELL, YOU TELL HIM IF 937 00:37:42,794 --> 00:37:44,439 AH, THE BOSS SAYS THAT... YEAH, WELL, YOU TELL HIM IF HE DON'T SPLIT, I AM GONNA DO 938 00:37:44,463 --> 00:37:46,007 YEAH, WELL, YOU TELL HIM IF HE DON'T SPLIT, I AM GONNA DO THIS TO HIM. 939 00:37:46,031 --> 00:37:47,575 HE DON'T SPLIT, I AM GONNA DO THIS TO HIM. WISSS. 940 00:37:47,599 --> 00:37:49,510 THIS TO HIM. WISSS. AAH! AAH! OHH! 941 00:37:49,534 --> 00:37:55,450 WISSS. AAH! AAH! OHH! OH, WOW. THE COLORS! 942 00:37:55,474 --> 00:37:56,184 AAH! AAH! OHH! OH, WOW. THE COLORS! SCRED! 943 00:37:56,208 --> 00:37:56,817 OH, WOW. THE COLORS! SCRED! HMM? 944 00:37:56,841 --> 00:37:57,452 SCRED! HMM? AAH! 945 00:37:57,476 --> 00:38:00,455 HMM? AAH! AND THE STARS! 946 00:38:00,479 --> 00:38:02,890 AAH! AND THE STARS! UH... MAYBE THE MIGHTY FAVOG 947 00:38:02,914 --> 00:38:05,493 AND THE STARS! UH... MAYBE THE MIGHTY FAVOG HAS GOT SOME GOOD ADVICE FOR ME. 948 00:38:05,517 --> 00:38:07,161 UH... MAYBE THE MIGHTY FAVOG HAS GOT SOME GOOD ADVICE FOR ME. MAN, NEVER, MAN. 949 00:38:07,185 --> 00:38:10,898 HAS GOT SOME GOOD ADVICE FOR ME. MAN, NEVER, MAN. FAVOG'S A COSMIC TURKEY! 950 00:38:10,922 --> 00:38:12,200 MAN, NEVER, MAN. FAVOG'S A COSMIC TURKEY! [GONG BANGS] 951 00:38:12,224 --> 00:38:16,237 FAVOG'S A COSMIC TURKEY! [GONG BANGS] THIS IS THE MIGHTY FAVOG. 952 00:38:16,261 --> 00:38:17,805 [GONG BANGS] THIS IS THE MIGHTY FAVOG. TALK TO ME. 953 00:38:17,829 --> 00:38:20,241 THIS IS THE MIGHTY FAVOG. TALK TO ME. YEAH, YOU GOT ANY MUNCHIES? 954 00:38:20,265 --> 00:38:22,477 TALK TO ME. YEAH, YOU GOT ANY MUNCHIES? WILL YOU SHUT UP, SCRED? 955 00:38:22,501 --> 00:38:24,912 YEAH, YOU GOT ANY MUNCHIES? WILL YOU SHUT UP, SCRED? OH, OMNI-IMPOTENT ONE, I GOT A 956 00:38:24,936 --> 00:38:25,813 WILL YOU SHUT UP, SCRED? OH, OMNI-IMPOTENT ONE, I GOT A PROBLEM. 957 00:38:25,837 --> 00:38:27,215 OH, OMNI-IMPOTENT ONE, I GOT A PROBLEM. ALL RIGHT. 958 00:38:27,239 --> 00:38:28,349 PROBLEM. ALL RIGHT. IT'S GONNA COST YOU. 959 00:38:28,373 --> 00:38:29,984 ALL RIGHT. IT'S GONNA COST YOU. I TELL YOU, SCRED, PUT IN THE 960 00:38:30,008 --> 00:38:30,618 IT'S GONNA COST YOU. I TELL YOU, SCRED, PUT IN THE CHICKENS. 961 00:38:30,642 --> 00:38:31,152 I TELL YOU, SCRED, PUT IN THE CHICKENS. HUH? 962 00:38:31,176 --> 00:38:32,420 CHICKENS. HUH? PUT IN THE CHICKENS. 963 00:38:32,444 --> 00:38:33,187 HUH? PUT IN THE CHICKENS. OH, YEAH. 964 00:38:33,211 --> 00:38:33,988 PUT IN THE CHICKENS. OH, YEAH. [LAUGHS] 965 00:38:34,012 --> 00:38:35,890 OH, YEAH. [LAUGHS] CHICKENS, LITTLE BIRDIE-WORDIES. 966 00:38:35,914 --> 00:38:37,425 [LAUGHS] CHICKENS, LITTLE BIRDIE-WORDIES. HERE YOU GO. 967 00:38:37,449 --> 00:38:39,260 CHICKENS, LITTLE BIRDIE-WORDIES. HERE YOU GO. YEAH. 968 00:38:39,284 --> 00:38:41,562 HERE YOU GO. YEAH. [FLUSHING] 969 00:38:41,586 --> 00:38:44,399 YEAH. [FLUSHING] [BELCHES] 970 00:38:44,423 --> 00:38:48,069 [FLUSHING] [BELCHES] ALL RIGHT. WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM? 971 00:38:48,093 --> 00:38:50,204 [BELCHES] ALL RIGHT. WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM? MY SON, WISSS, IS A 972 00:38:50,228 --> 00:38:51,739 ALL RIGHT. WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM? MY SON, WISSS, IS A CRATER-HEAD. 973 00:38:51,763 --> 00:38:53,641 MY SON, WISSS, IS A CRATER-HEAD. HMM. 974 00:38:53,665 --> 00:38:57,345 CRATER-HEAD. HMM. WELL, THE ANSWER, MY FRIEND... 975 00:38:57,369 --> 00:38:58,779 HMM. WELL, THE ANSWER, MY FRIEND... YEAH? 976 00:38:58,803 --> 00:39:02,316 WELL, THE ANSWER, MY FRIEND... YEAH? IS BLOWIN' IN THE WIND. 977 00:39:02,340 --> 00:39:03,451 YEAH? IS BLOWIN' IN THE WIND. [SNIFFS] 978 00:39:03,475 --> 00:39:04,419 IS BLOWIN' IN THE WIND. [SNIFFS] HUH? 979 00:39:04,443 --> 00:39:06,720 [SNIFFS] HUH? I COULD KILL FOR SOME 980 00:39:06,744 --> 00:39:09,011 HUH? I COULD KILL FOR SOME CHOCOLATE-CHIP COOKIES! 981 00:39:17,388 --> 00:39:19,889 IN AMERICA TODAY, CERTAIN 982 00:39:20,023 --> 00:39:24,394 OPPRESSED MINORITIES... 983 00:39:24,528 --> 00:39:25,161 [Slurring] ARE TREATED LIKE 984 00:39:25,296 --> 00:39:27,397 SECOND-CLASS CITIZENS... 985 00:39:27,665 --> 00:39:33,381 SOME, SIMPLY BECAUSE OF A HARMLESS LITTLE AFFLICTION. I REFER TO SALIVA-DISBURSEMENT 986 00:39:33,405 --> 00:39:35,916 HARMLESS LITTLE AFFLICTION. I REFER TO SALIVA-DISBURSEMENT DIFFICULTIES, OR, AS WE ARE 987 00:39:35,940 --> 00:39:38,586 I REFER TO SALIVA-DISBURSEMENT DIFFICULTIES, OR, AS WE ARE SOMETIMES CALLED, "DROOLERS." 988 00:39:38,610 --> 00:39:39,654 DIFFICULTIES, OR, AS WE ARE SOMETIMES CALLED, "DROOLERS." [AUDIENCE GROANS] 989 00:39:39,678 --> 00:39:40,954 SOMETIMES CALLED, "DROOLERS." [AUDIENCE GROANS] WE AT THE DROOLERS 990 00:39:40,978 --> 00:39:42,690 [AUDIENCE GROANS] WE AT THE DROOLERS ANTI-DEFAMATION LEAGUE ARE 991 00:39:42,714 --> 00:39:44,625 WE AT THE DROOLERS ANTI-DEFAMATION LEAGUE ARE WORKING TO CORRECT THE NEGATIVE 992 00:39:44,649 --> 00:39:46,960 ANTI-DEFAMATION LEAGUE ARE WORKING TO CORRECT THE NEGATIVE IMAGE OF DROOLERS PROPAGATED BY 993 00:39:46,984 --> 00:39:50,164 WORKING TO CORRECT THE NEGATIVE IMAGE OF DROOLERS PROPAGATED BY THE MEDIA. 994 00:39:50,188 --> 00:39:51,832 IMAGE OF DROOLERS PROPAGATED BY THE MEDIA. FOR EXAMPLE, HOW MANY PEOPLE 995 00:39:51,856 --> 00:39:53,167 THE MEDIA. FOR EXAMPLE, HOW MANY PEOPLE KNOW THAT MANY FAMOUS 996 00:39:53,191 --> 00:39:54,535 FOR EXAMPLE, HOW MANY PEOPLE KNOW THAT MANY FAMOUS INDIVIDUALS THROUGHOUT 997 00:39:54,559 --> 00:39:56,404 KNOW THAT MANY FAMOUS INDIVIDUALS THROUGHOUT HISTORY... THE GREAT PHILOSOPHER 998 00:39:56,428 --> 00:39:57,405 INDIVIDUALS THROUGHOUT HISTORY... THE GREAT PHILOSOPHER SPINOZA, AUTHOR 999 00:39:57,429 --> 00:39:58,539 HISTORY... THE GREAT PHILOSOPHER SPINOZA, AUTHOR CHARLOTTE BRONTE, 1000 00:39:58,563 --> 00:40:00,408 SPINOZA, AUTHOR CHARLOTTE BRONTE, AND WORLD LEADER MAHATMA GANDHI 1001 00:40:00,432 --> 00:40:02,510 CHARLOTTE BRONTE, AND WORLD LEADER MAHATMA GANDHI WERE ACTUALLY DROOLERS? 1002 00:40:02,534 --> 00:40:04,445 AND WORLD LEADER MAHATMA GANDHI WERE ACTUALLY DROOLERS? CONTEMPORARY DROOLERS INCLUDE 1003 00:40:04,469 --> 00:40:05,713 WERE ACTUALLY DROOLERS? CONTEMPORARY DROOLERS INCLUDE DON PARDO. 1004 00:40:05,737 --> 00:40:08,048 CONTEMPORARY DROOLERS INCLUDE DON PARDO. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1005 00:40:08,072 --> 00:40:11,385 DON PARDO. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] [Snickering] THERE'S NO REASON 1006 00:40:11,409 --> 00:40:12,386 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] [Snickering] THERE'S NO REASON WHY... 1007 00:40:12,410 --> 00:40:14,322 [Snickering] THERE'S NO REASON WHY... THERE IS NO REASON WHY A DROOLER 1008 00:40:14,346 --> 00:40:16,056 WHY... THERE IS NO REASON WHY A DROOLER CANNOT FUNCTION AS A USEFUL, 1009 00:40:16,080 --> 00:40:18,326 THERE IS NO REASON WHY A DROOLER CANNOT FUNCTION AS A USEFUL, ACTIVE MEMBER OF SOCIETY... 1010 00:40:18,350 --> 00:40:20,228 CANNOT FUNCTION AS A USEFUL, ACTIVE MEMBER OF SOCIETY... SEALING ENVELOPES, FOR EXAMPLE, 1011 00:40:20,252 --> 00:40:22,697 ACTIVE MEMBER OF SOCIETY... SEALING ENVELOPES, FOR EXAMPLE, FOR A SMALL BUSINESS. 1012 00:40:22,721 --> 00:40:24,965 SEALING ENVELOPES, FOR EXAMPLE, FOR A SMALL BUSINESS. LIKE ANYTHING ELSE, DROOLING IS 1013 00:40:24,989 --> 00:40:27,301 FOR A SMALL BUSINESS. LIKE ANYTHING ELSE, DROOLING IS A HANDICAP, BUT IT IS A HANDICAP 1014 00:40:27,325 --> 00:40:28,502 LIKE ANYTHING ELSE, DROOLING IS A HANDICAP, BUT IT IS A HANDICAP THAT CAN BE LICKED. 1015 00:40:28,526 --> 00:40:29,803 A HANDICAP, BUT IT IS A HANDICAP THAT CAN BE LICKED. THANK YOU. 1016 00:40:29,827 --> 00:40:34,175 THAT CAN BE LICKED. THANK YOU. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1017 00:40:34,199 --> 00:40:37,945 THANK YOU. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] [BLUEGRASS MUSIC PLAYING] 1018 00:40:37,969 --> 00:40:39,213 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] [BLUEGRASS MUSIC PLAYING] ♪ BOW TO YOUR PRETTY ♪ 1019 00:40:39,237 --> 00:40:40,547 [BLUEGRASS MUSIC PLAYING] ♪ BOW TO YOUR PRETTY ♪ ♪ NOW CURTSEY TO YOUR MAN ♪ 1020 00:40:40,571 --> 00:40:41,682 ♪ BOW TO YOUR PRETTY ♪ ♪ NOW CURTSEY TO YOUR MAN ♪ ♪ STEP RIGHT UP AND GRAB HER BY 1021 00:40:41,706 --> 00:40:42,483 ♪ NOW CURTSEY TO YOUR MAN ♪ ♪ STEP RIGHT UP AND GRAB HER BY THE HAND ♪ 1022 00:40:42,507 --> 00:40:43,817 ♪ STEP RIGHT UP AND GRAB HER BY THE HAND ♪ ♪ NOW SWING THAT GAL IN THE 1023 00:40:43,841 --> 00:40:44,818 THE HAND ♪ ♪ NOW SWING THAT GAL IN THE FANCY CLOTHES ♪ 1024 00:40:44,842 --> 00:40:46,354 ♪ NOW SWING THAT GAL IN THE FANCY CLOTHES ♪ ♪ CIRCLE 'ROUND AND PULL HER 1025 00:40:46,378 --> 00:40:47,388 FANCY CLOTHES ♪ ♪ CIRCLE 'ROUND AND PULL HER NOSE ♪ 1026 00:40:47,412 --> 00:40:48,689 ♪ CIRCLE 'ROUND AND PULL HER NOSE ♪ [LAUGHS MANIACALLY] 1027 00:40:48,713 --> 00:40:49,890 NOSE ♪ [LAUGHS MANIACALLY] GRAB HANDS! 1028 00:40:49,914 --> 00:40:52,093 [LAUGHS MANIACALLY] GRAB HANDS! CIRCLE CHAIN! 1029 00:40:52,117 --> 00:40:53,260 GRAB HANDS! CIRCLE CHAIN! ♪ GRANNY GUZZLES BOURBON ♪ 1030 00:40:53,284 --> 00:40:54,295 CIRCLE CHAIN! ♪ GRANNY GUZZLES BOURBON ♪ ♪ PREACHER HITS THE GIN ♪ 1031 00:40:54,319 --> 00:40:55,629 ♪ GRANNY GUZZLES BOURBON ♪ ♪ PREACHER HITS THE GIN ♪ ♪ SASHAY UP TO JOHNNY AND KICK 1032 00:40:55,653 --> 00:40:56,998 ♪ PREACHER HITS THE GIN ♪ ♪ SASHAY UP TO JOHNNY AND KICK HIM IN THE SHIN ♪ 1033 00:40:57,022 --> 00:40:59,367 ♪ SASHAY UP TO JOHNNY AND KICK HIM IN THE SHIN ♪ [LAUGHS MANIACALLY] 1034 00:40:59,391 --> 00:41:02,003 HIM IN THE SHIN ♪ [LAUGHS MANIACALLY] PROMENADE! ALL RIGHT! 1035 00:41:02,027 --> 00:41:03,471 [LAUGHS MANIACALLY] PROMENADE! ALL RIGHT! ♪ PROMENADE UPTOWN, 1036 00:41:03,495 --> 00:41:04,505 PROMENADE! ALL RIGHT! ♪ PROMENADE UPTOWN, SULTRY HOPS ♪ 1037 00:41:04,529 --> 00:41:05,839 ♪ PROMENADE UPTOWN, SULTRY HOPS ♪ ♪ WIND UP YOUR DUKES AND BELT 1038 00:41:05,863 --> 00:41:07,708 SULTRY HOPS ♪ ♪ WIND UP YOUR DUKES AND BELT HER IN THE CHOPS ♪ 1039 00:41:07,732 --> 00:41:10,144 ♪ WIND UP YOUR DUKES AND BELT HER IN THE CHOPS ♪ [LAUGHS MANIACALLY] 1040 00:41:10,168 --> 00:41:11,412 HER IN THE CHOPS ♪ [LAUGHS MANIACALLY] LADIES! 1041 00:41:11,436 --> 00:41:12,980 [LAUGHS MANIACALLY] LADIES! ♪ WHEEL ON AROUND AND BACK TO 1042 00:41:13,004 --> 00:41:13,747 LADIES! ♪ WHEEL ON AROUND AND BACK TO YOUR PLACE ♪ 1043 00:41:13,771 --> 00:41:15,016 ♪ WHEEL ON AROUND AND BACK TO YOUR PLACE ♪ ♪ KNOCK HIM TO THE GROUND ♪ 1044 00:41:15,040 --> 00:41:16,283 YOUR PLACE ♪ ♪ KNOCK HIM TO THE GROUND ♪ ♪ STOMP ON HIS FACE ♪ 1045 00:41:16,307 --> 00:41:20,521 ♪ KNOCK HIM TO THE GROUND ♪ ♪ STOMP ON HIS FACE ♪ [LAUGHS MANIACALLY] 1046 00:41:20,545 --> 00:41:22,623 ♪ STOMP ON HIS FACE ♪ [LAUGHS MANIACALLY] GENTLEMEN, ON YOUR FEET NOW! 1047 00:41:22,647 --> 00:41:23,624 [LAUGHS MANIACALLY] GENTLEMEN, ON YOUR FEET NOW! A-A-AND... 1048 00:41:23,648 --> 00:41:25,159 GENTLEMEN, ON YOUR FEET NOW! A-A-AND... ♪ ALLEMANDE RIGHT WITH THE GAL 1049 00:41:25,183 --> 00:41:26,060 A-A-AND... ♪ ALLEMANDE RIGHT WITH THE GAL YOU LIKE BEST ♪ 1050 00:41:26,084 --> 00:41:27,794 ♪ ALLEMANDE RIGHT WITH THE GAL YOU LIKE BEST ♪ ♪ STEP RIGHT UP AND RIP HER 1051 00:41:27,818 --> 00:41:29,030 YOU LIKE BEST ♪ ♪ STEP RIGHT UP AND RIP HER DRESS ♪ 1052 00:41:29,054 --> 00:41:31,698 ♪ STEP RIGHT UP AND RIP HER DRESS ♪ [LAUGHS MANIACALLY] 1053 00:41:31,722 --> 00:41:33,834 DRESS ♪ [LAUGHS MANIACALLY] DO-SI-DO! DO-SI-DO! 1054 00:41:33,858 --> 00:41:35,736 [LAUGHS MANIACALLY] DO-SI-DO! DO-SI-DO! ♪ DO-SI-DO, FLY HIGHER AND 1055 00:41:35,760 --> 00:41:36,203 DO-SI-DO! DO-SI-DO! ♪ DO-SI-DO, FLY HIGHER AND HIGHER ♪ 1056 00:41:36,227 --> 00:41:37,971 ♪ DO-SI-DO, FLY HIGHER AND HIGHER ♪ ♪ PULL OUT YOUR PISTOLS AND OPEN 1057 00:41:37,995 --> 00:41:39,540 HIGHER ♪ ♪ PULL OUT YOUR PISTOLS AND OPEN FIRE ♪ 1058 00:41:39,564 --> 00:41:41,975 ♪ PULL OUT YOUR PISTOLS AND OPEN FIRE ♪ [GUNFIRE] 1059 00:41:41,999 --> 00:41:43,577 FIRE ♪ [GUNFIRE] [LAUGHS MANIACALLY] 1060 00:41:43,601 --> 00:41:46,047 [GUNFIRE] [LAUGHS MANIACALLY] [GUNSHOT] 1061 00:41:46,071 --> 00:41:49,216 [LAUGHS MANIACALLY] [GUNSHOT] [FINALE PLAYS] 1062 00:41:49,240 --> 00:41:55,122 [GUNSHOT] [FINALE PLAYS] [APPLAUSE] 1063 00:41:55,146 --> 00:41:56,724 [FINALE PLAYS] [APPLAUSE] AND NOW HERE'S A BRAND-NEW 1064 00:41:56,748 --> 00:41:58,425 [APPLAUSE] AND NOW HERE'S A BRAND-NEW COMEDY TEAM... MARK HAMPTON AND 1065 00:41:58,449 --> 00:42:00,794 AND NOW HERE'S A BRAND-NEW COMEDY TEAM... MARK HAMPTON AND DENNY DILLON. 1066 00:42:00,818 --> 00:42:03,865 COMEDY TEAM... MARK HAMPTON AND DENNY DILLON. [ORGAN PLAYING] 1067 00:42:03,889 --> 00:42:06,500 DENNY DILLON. [ORGAN PLAYING] WELL, HELLO, SISTERS! 1068 00:42:06,524 --> 00:42:08,035 [ORGAN PLAYING] WELL, HELLO, SISTERS! IT'S FINALLY HERE! 1069 00:42:08,059 --> 00:42:10,504 WELL, HELLO, SISTERS! IT'S FINALLY HERE! THE NIGHT WE'VE ALL BEEN WAITING 1070 00:42:10,528 --> 00:42:11,105 IT'S FINALLY HERE! THE NIGHT WE'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR! 1071 00:42:11,129 --> 00:42:13,440 THE NIGHT WE'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR! SPENT FIVE BUCK, GET READY FOR 1072 00:42:13,464 --> 00:42:17,811 FOR! SPENT FIVE BUCK, GET READY FOR "TALENT NIGHT IN THE CONVENT"! 1073 00:42:17,835 --> 00:42:19,280 SPENT FIVE BUCK, GET READY FOR "TALENT NIGHT IN THE CONVENT"! [SCATTERED APPLAUSE] 1074 00:42:19,304 --> 00:42:21,415 "TALENT NIGHT IN THE CONVENT"! [SCATTERED APPLAUSE] TONIGHT, WE'RE GONNA SEE OUR OWN 1075 00:42:21,439 --> 00:42:23,484 [SCATTERED APPLAUSE] TONIGHT, WE'RE GONNA SEE OUR OWN SISTERS THAT WE PRAY WITH, SHARE 1076 00:42:23,508 --> 00:42:25,419 TONIGHT, WE'RE GONNA SEE OUR OWN SISTERS THAT WE PRAY WITH, SHARE MEALS WITH, AND SAY LITANIES 1077 00:42:25,443 --> 00:42:27,554 SISTERS THAT WE PRAY WITH, SHARE MEALS WITH, AND SAY LITANIES WITH GETTING UP HERE AND SHOWING 1078 00:42:27,578 --> 00:42:29,690 MEALS WITH, AND SAY LITANIES WITH GETTING UP HERE AND SHOWING US THE TALENT THAT GOD HAS GIVEN 1079 00:42:29,714 --> 00:42:30,258 WITH GETTING UP HERE AND SHOWING US THE TALENT THAT GOD HAS GIVEN THEM. 1080 00:42:30,282 --> 00:42:31,592 US THE TALENT THAT GOD HAS GIVEN THEM. LET US PRAY. 1081 00:42:31,616 --> 00:42:33,861 THEM. LET US PRAY. HAIL, MARY, FULL OF GRACE, THE 1082 00:42:33,885 --> 00:42:35,329 LET US PRAY. HAIL, MARY, FULL OF GRACE, THE LORD IS WITH THEE. 1083 00:42:35,353 --> 00:42:37,564 HAIL, MARY, FULL OF GRACE, THE LORD IS WITH THEE. BLESSED ART THOU AMONGST WOMEN 1084 00:42:37,588 --> 00:42:38,799 LORD IS WITH THEE. BLESSED ART THOU AMONGST WOMEN AMONGST WOMEN. 1085 00:42:38,823 --> 00:42:42,236 BLESSED ART THOU AMONGST WOMEN AMONGST WOMEN. AMEN. 1086 00:42:42,260 --> 00:42:43,837 AMONGST WOMEN. AMEN. BEFORE WE BEGIN TONIGHT'S 1087 00:42:43,861 --> 00:42:45,672 AMEN. BEFORE WE BEGIN TONIGHT'S FESTIVITIES, JUST A FEW LITTLE 1088 00:42:45,696 --> 00:42:46,840 BEFORE WE BEGIN TONIGHT'S FESTIVITIES, JUST A FEW LITTLE ANNOUNCEMENTS. 1089 00:42:46,864 --> 00:42:48,609 FESTIVITIES, JUST A FEW LITTLE ANNOUNCEMENTS. WE HAVE A SPECIAL GUEST HERE 1090 00:42:48,633 --> 00:42:49,843 ANNOUNCEMENTS. WE HAVE A SPECIAL GUEST HERE WITH US TONIGHT... 1091 00:42:49,867 --> 00:42:51,612 WE HAVE A SPECIAL GUEST HERE WITH US TONIGHT... SISTER MARY HERMAN! 1092 00:42:51,636 --> 00:42:53,247 WITH US TONIGHT... SISTER MARY HERMAN! STAND UP, SISTER! 1093 00:42:53,271 --> 00:42:55,482 SISTER MARY HERMAN! STAND UP, SISTER! ♪ GETTING TO KNOW YOU ♪ 1094 00:42:55,506 --> 00:42:56,884 STAND UP, SISTER! ♪ GETTING TO KNOW YOU ♪ SISTER'S HERE FROM OUR 1095 00:42:56,908 --> 00:42:58,719 ♪ GETTING TO KNOW YOU ♪ SISTER'S HERE FROM OUR WILLOUGHBY PARISH AND JUST GOT 1096 00:42:58,743 --> 00:43:00,187 SISTER'S HERE FROM OUR WILLOUGHBY PARISH AND JUST GOT BACK FROM A TOUR OF THE 1097 00:43:00,211 --> 00:43:01,522 WILLOUGHBY PARISH AND JUST GOT BACK FROM A TOUR OF THE PHILIPPINES. 1098 00:43:01,546 --> 00:43:03,324 BACK FROM A TOUR OF THE PHILIPPINES. [SPEAKING FILIPINO] 1099 00:43:03,348 --> 00:43:07,295 PHILIPPINES. [SPEAKING FILIPINO] SISTER MARY HERMAN. 1100 00:43:07,319 --> 00:43:09,063 [SPEAKING FILIPINO] SISTER MARY HERMAN. REFRESHMENTS TONIGHT WERE 1101 00:43:09,087 --> 00:43:10,965 SISTER MARY HERMAN. REFRESHMENTS TONIGHT WERE DONATED BY THE URSULINES IN 1102 00:43:10,989 --> 00:43:12,934 REFRESHMENTS TONIGHT WERE DONATED BY THE URSULINES IN ASHTABULA, SO DON'T BE SHY, 1103 00:43:12,958 --> 00:43:14,302 DONATED BY THE URSULINES IN ASHTABULA, SO DON'T BE SHY, SISTERS. 1104 00:43:14,326 --> 00:43:15,803 ASHTABULA, SO DON'T BE SHY, SISTERS. THAT MEANS YOU, TOO, SISTER 1105 00:43:15,827 --> 00:43:16,437 SISTERS. THAT MEANS YOU, TOO, SISTER LUIGI. 1106 00:43:16,461 --> 00:43:17,838 THAT MEANS YOU, TOO, SISTER LUIGI. DON'T COUNT YOUR CALORIES 1107 00:43:17,862 --> 00:43:19,407 LUIGI. DON'T COUNT YOUR CALORIES TONIGHT 'CAUSE THE CIDER AND 1108 00:43:19,431 --> 00:43:21,342 DON'T COUNT YOUR CALORIES TONIGHT 'CAUSE THE CIDER AND DOUGHNUTS ARE ON THE HOUSE. 1109 00:43:21,366 --> 00:43:24,912 TONIGHT 'CAUSE THE CIDER AND DOUGHNUTS ARE ON THE HOUSE. [ORGAN PLAYS] 1110 00:43:24,936 --> 00:43:27,081 DOUGHNUTS ARE ON THE HOUSE. [ORGAN PLAYS] AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST, WE 1111 00:43:27,105 --> 00:43:29,450 [ORGAN PLAYS] AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST, WE RECEIVED TODAY A POSTCARD FROM 1112 00:43:29,474 --> 00:43:31,819 AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST, WE RECEIVED TODAY A POSTCARD FROM OUR OWN SISTER BONIFACE IN THE 1113 00:43:31,843 --> 00:43:32,553 RECEIVED TODAY A POSTCARD FROM OUR OWN SISTER BONIFACE IN THE CONGO. 1114 00:43:32,577 --> 00:43:34,989 OUR OWN SISTER BONIFACE IN THE CONGO. LET ME SHARE HER WORDS WITH YOU. 1115 00:43:35,013 --> 00:43:36,790 CONGO. LET ME SHARE HER WORDS WITH YOU. "SISTERS, WEATHER HOT. 1116 00:43:36,814 --> 00:43:38,960 LET ME SHARE HER WORDS WITH YOU. "SISTERS, WEATHER HOT. PROGRESS IS SLOW, BUT LITTLE 1117 00:43:38,984 --> 00:43:41,362 "SISTERS, WEATHER HOT. PROGRESS IS SLOW, BUT LITTLE BLACK ONES LEARNING TO READ AND 1118 00:43:41,386 --> 00:43:43,664 PROGRESS IS SLOW, BUT LITTLE BLACK ONES LEARNING TO READ AND SPEAK MORE WITH EVERY NEW DAY. 1119 00:43:43,688 --> 00:43:45,699 BLACK ONES LEARNING TO READ AND SPEAK MORE WITH EVERY NEW DAY. YOURS IN CHRIST, OUR LORD, 1120 00:43:45,723 --> 00:43:47,601 SPEAK MORE WITH EVERY NEW DAY. YOURS IN CHRIST, OUR LORD, SISTER MARY BONIFACE, 1121 00:43:47,625 --> 00:43:48,936 YOURS IN CHRIST, OUR LORD, SISTER MARY BONIFACE, ADDIS ABABA." 1122 00:43:48,960 --> 00:43:51,138 SISTER MARY BONIFACE, ADDIS ABABA." DROP HER A LINE, SISTERS. 1123 00:43:51,162 --> 00:43:54,075 ADDIS ABABA." DROP HER A LINE, SISTERS. SHE'S RECEIVED GOD'S CALL. 1124 00:43:54,099 --> 00:43:57,345 DROP HER A LINE, SISTERS. SHE'S RECEIVED GOD'S CALL. AND NOW THE FUN BEGINS. 1125 00:43:57,369 --> 00:43:59,013 SHE'S RECEIVED GOD'S CALL. AND NOW THE FUN BEGINS. WELL, LET ME JUST START IT OFF 1126 00:43:59,037 --> 00:44:00,514 AND NOW THE FUN BEGINS. WELL, LET ME JUST START IT OFF WITH A JOKE I READ ABOUT IN 1127 00:44:00,538 --> 00:44:02,116 WELL, LET ME JUST START IT OFF WITH A JOKE I READ ABOUT IN CATHOLIC WORLD. 1128 00:44:02,140 --> 00:44:04,085 WITH A JOKE I READ ABOUT IN CATHOLIC WORLD. [LAUGHTER] 1129 00:44:04,109 --> 00:44:05,786 CATHOLIC WORLD. [LAUGHTER] THE LITTLE FELLOW SAYS TO HIS 1130 00:44:05,810 --> 00:44:07,554 [LAUGHTER] THE LITTLE FELLOW SAYS TO HIS GIRLFRIEND, "HEY, SALLY, WOULD 1131 00:44:07,578 --> 00:44:08,755 THE LITTLE FELLOW SAYS TO HIS GIRLFRIEND, "HEY, SALLY, WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO PLAY 1132 00:44:08,779 --> 00:44:09,991 GIRLFRIEND, "HEY, SALLY, WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO PLAY HIDE-AND-GO-SEEK?" 1133 00:44:10,015 --> 00:44:11,825 YOU LIKE TO GO PLAY HIDE-AND-GO-SEEK?" AND SALLY SAYS, "WELL, ALL 1134 00:44:11,849 --> 00:44:13,594 HIDE-AND-GO-SEEK?" AND SALLY SAYS, "WELL, ALL RIGHT, BUT NO FAIR ASKING 1135 00:44:13,618 --> 00:44:15,529 AND SALLY SAYS, "WELL, ALL RIGHT, BUT NO FAIR ASKING ST. ANTHONY TO HELP YOU FIND 1136 00:44:15,553 --> 00:44:16,063 RIGHT, BUT NO FAIR ASKING ST. ANTHONY TO HELP YOU FIND ME!" 1137 00:44:16,087 --> 00:44:17,931 ST. ANTHONY TO HELP YOU FIND ME!" [LAUGHS] 1138 00:44:17,955 --> 00:44:20,368 ME!" [LAUGHS] OH, DON'T GET ME STARTED. 1139 00:44:20,392 --> 00:44:22,303 [LAUGHS] OH, DON'T GET ME STARTED. [LAUGHTER] 1140 00:44:22,327 --> 00:44:24,438 OH, DON'T GET ME STARTED. [LAUGHTER] AND NOW IT'S TIME FOR A LITTLE 1141 00:44:24,462 --> 00:44:27,274 [LAUGHTER] AND NOW IT'S TIME FOR A LITTLE HOCUS-POCUS WITH YOURS TRULY, 1142 00:44:27,298 --> 00:44:29,743 AND NOW IT'S TIME FOR A LITTLE HOCUS-POCUS WITH YOURS TRULY, SISTER MARY EUGENE AND MY MAGIC 1143 00:44:29,767 --> 00:44:32,713 HOCUS-POCUS WITH YOURS TRULY, SISTER MARY EUGENE AND MY MAGIC HOLY CARDS. 1144 00:44:32,737 --> 00:44:34,415 SISTER MARY EUGENE AND MY MAGIC HOLY CARDS. NOW, IN THIS HAND, SISTERS, YOU 1145 00:44:34,439 --> 00:44:35,983 HOLY CARDS. NOW, IN THIS HAND, SISTERS, YOU SEE A PICTURE OF THE BLESSED 1146 00:44:36,007 --> 00:44:37,684 NOW, IN THIS HAND, SISTERS, YOU SEE A PICTURE OF THE BLESSED VIRGIN MARY, AND SHE'S STANDING 1147 00:44:37,708 --> 00:44:39,953 SEE A PICTURE OF THE BLESSED VIRGIN MARY, AND SHE'S STANDING ON TOP OF THE SERPENT. 1148 00:44:39,977 --> 00:44:41,522 VIRGIN MARY, AND SHE'S STANDING ON TOP OF THE SERPENT. AND IN THIS HAND, YOU SEE A 1149 00:44:41,546 --> 00:44:43,257 ON TOP OF THE SERPENT. AND IN THIS HAND, YOU SEE A PICTURE OF THE SACRED HEART OF 1150 00:44:43,281 --> 00:44:45,026 AND IN THIS HAND, YOU SEE A PICTURE OF THE SACRED HEART OF JESUS WITH THE EYES THAT FOLLOW 1151 00:44:45,050 --> 00:44:46,793 PICTURE OF THE SACRED HEART OF JESUS WITH THE EYES THAT FOLLOW YOU ACROSS THE ROOM. 1152 00:44:46,817 --> 00:44:48,496 JESUS WITH THE EYES THAT FOLLOW YOU ACROSS THE ROOM. KEEP YOUR EYES ON THEM, SISTERS! 1153 00:44:48,520 --> 00:44:50,097 YOU ACROSS THE ROOM. KEEP YOUR EYES ON THEM, SISTERS! KEEP YOU EYES ON THEM! 1154 00:44:50,121 --> 00:44:51,832 KEEP YOUR EYES ON THEM, SISTERS! KEEP YOU EYES ON THEM! PRESTO! CHANGE-O! 1155 00:44:51,856 --> 00:44:54,435 KEEP YOU EYES ON THEM! PRESTO! CHANGE-O! ST. JUDE, PATRON OF IMPOSSIBLE! 1156 00:44:54,459 --> 00:44:56,170 PRESTO! CHANGE-O! ST. JUDE, PATRON OF IMPOSSIBLE! AND ST. DIFNOD, NERVOUS 1157 00:44:56,194 --> 00:44:57,104 ST. JUDE, PATRON OF IMPOSSIBLE! AND ST. DIFNOD, NERVOUS BREAKDOWN. 1158 00:44:57,128 --> 00:45:00,141 AND ST. DIFNOD, NERVOUS BREAKDOWN. THANK YOU. THANK YOU. 1159 00:45:00,165 --> 00:45:04,445 BREAKDOWN. THANK YOU. THANK YOU. [SCATTERED APPLAUSE] 1160 00:45:04,469 --> 00:45:05,413 THANK YOU. THANK YOU. [SCATTERED APPLAUSE] AND NOW WITH 1161 00:45:05,437 --> 00:45:07,348 [SCATTERED APPLAUSE] AND NOW WITH SISTER XAVIER COOGAN AT THE 1162 00:45:07,372 --> 00:45:10,284 AND NOW WITH SISTER XAVIER COOGAN AT THE ORGAN, LET'S HAVE A LITTLE 1163 00:45:10,308 --> 00:45:11,818 SISTER XAVIER COOGAN AT THE ORGAN, LET'S HAVE A LITTLE SING-ALONG. 1164 00:45:11,842 --> 00:45:15,856 ORGAN, LET'S HAVE A LITTLE SING-ALONG. ♪ KUMBAYA, MY LORD ♪ 1165 00:45:15,880 --> 00:45:16,990 SING-ALONG. ♪ KUMBAYA, MY LORD ♪ ♪ KUMBAYA ♪ 1166 00:45:17,014 --> 00:45:19,326 ♪ KUMBAYA, MY LORD ♪ ♪ KUMBAYA ♪ COME ON! YOU KNOW THE WORDS! 1167 00:45:19,350 --> 00:45:22,396 ♪ KUMBAYA ♪ COME ON! YOU KNOW THE WORDS! ♪ KUMBAYA, MY LORD ♪ 1168 00:45:22,420 --> 00:45:24,031 COME ON! YOU KNOW THE WORDS! ♪ KUMBAYA, MY LORD ♪ ♪ KUMBAYA ♪ 1169 00:45:24,055 --> 00:45:26,100 ♪ KUMBAYA, MY LORD ♪ ♪ KUMBAYA ♪ AND NOW FOR OUR SISTERS IN THE 1170 00:45:26,124 --> 00:45:27,000 ♪ KUMBAYA ♪ AND NOW FOR OUR SISTERS IN THE PHILIPPINES! 1171 00:45:27,024 --> 00:45:28,735 AND NOW FOR OUR SISTERS IN THE PHILIPPINES! [TEMPO INCREASES] 1172 00:45:28,759 --> 00:45:31,004 PHILIPPINES! [TEMPO INCREASES] ♪ KUMBAYA, MY LORD ♪ 1173 00:45:31,028 --> 00:45:32,339 [TEMPO INCREASES] ♪ KUMBAYA, MY LORD ♪ ♪ KUMBAYA ♪ 1174 00:45:32,363 --> 00:45:36,610 ♪ KUMBAYA, MY LORD ♪ ♪ KUMBAYA ♪ [SPEAKING FILIPINO] 1175 00:45:36,634 --> 00:45:38,179 ♪ KUMBAYA ♪ [SPEAKING FILIPINO] AND AS JESUS SAID TO THE 1176 00:45:38,203 --> 00:45:39,780 [SPEAKING FILIPINO] AND AS JESUS SAID TO THE APOSTLE PAUL, SISTERS... 1177 00:45:39,804 --> 00:45:41,582 AND AS JESUS SAID TO THE APOSTLE PAUL, SISTERS... MAKE THEM BEG FOR MORE... 1178 00:45:41,606 --> 00:45:44,351 APOSTLE PAUL, SISTERS... MAKE THEM BEG FOR MORE... AND DON'T GIVE IT TO THEM! 1179 00:45:44,375 --> 00:45:46,053 MAKE THEM BEG FOR MORE... AND DON'T GIVE IT TO THEM! GOOD NIGHT! 1180 00:45:46,077 --> 00:45:53,627 AND DON'T GIVE IT TO THEM! GOOD NIGHT! [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1181 00:45:53,651 --> 00:45:55,095 GOOD NIGHT! [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] AND NOW A NEW FEATURE ON 1182 00:45:55,119 --> 00:45:56,196 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] AND NOW A NEW FEATURE ON "SATURDAY NIGHT"... 1183 00:45:56,220 --> 00:45:57,231 AND NOW A NEW FEATURE ON "SATURDAY NIGHT"... "WHAT GILDA ATE." 1184 00:45:57,255 --> 00:45:58,265 "SATURDAY NIGHT"... "WHAT GILDA ATE." GILDA? 1185 00:45:58,289 --> 00:45:58,966 "WHAT GILDA ATE." GILDA? THANKS, ROB. 1186 00:45:58,990 --> 00:46:01,201 GILDA? THANKS, ROB. OKAY, I STARTED THE DAY WITH ONE 1187 00:46:01,225 --> 00:46:03,336 THANKS, ROB. OKAY, I STARTED THE DAY WITH ONE PIECE OF DRY TOAST AND TWO EGG 1188 00:46:03,360 --> 00:46:04,805 OKAY, I STARTED THE DAY WITH ONE PIECE OF DRY TOAST AND TWO EGG WHITES SCRAMBLED IN A NO-STICK 1189 00:46:04,829 --> 00:46:05,472 PIECE OF DRY TOAST AND TWO EGG WHITES SCRAMBLED IN A NO-STICK TEFLON PAN. 1190 00:46:05,496 --> 00:46:07,007 WHITES SCRAMBLED IN A NO-STICK TEFLON PAN. AND THEN I HAD A LITTLE PIECE OF 1191 00:46:07,031 --> 00:46:08,275 TEFLON PAN. AND THEN I HAD A LITTLE PIECE OF CHICKEN FROM SOME LEFTOVER 1192 00:46:08,299 --> 00:46:09,709 AND THEN I HAD A LITTLE PIECE OF CHICKEN FROM SOME LEFTOVER CHINESE FOOD THAT I HAD IN THE 1193 00:46:09,733 --> 00:46:11,078 CHICKEN FROM SOME LEFTOVER CHINESE FOOD THAT I HAD IN THE REFRIGERATOR AND ONE BREADED 1194 00:46:11,102 --> 00:46:12,445 CHINESE FOOD THAT I HAD IN THE REFRIGERATOR AND ONE BREADED SWEET-AND-SOUR SHRIMP, BUT I 1195 00:46:12,469 --> 00:46:13,814 REFRIGERATOR AND ONE BREADED SWEET-AND-SOUR SHRIMP, BUT I PICKED ALL THE BREADING OFF. 1196 00:46:13,838 --> 00:46:15,282 SWEET-AND-SOUR SHRIMP, BUT I PICKED ALL THE BREADING OFF. AND THEN, AT LUNCH, I HAD A HALF 1197 00:46:15,306 --> 00:46:16,716 PICKED ALL THE BREADING OFF. AND THEN, AT LUNCH, I HAD A HALF A CLUB SANDWICH, BUT I TOOK OUT 1198 00:46:16,740 --> 00:46:18,185 AND THEN, AT LUNCH, I HAD A HALF A CLUB SANDWICH, BUT I TOOK OUT THE MIDDLE PIECE OF BREAD AND I 1199 00:46:18,209 --> 00:46:19,653 A CLUB SANDWICH, BUT I TOOK OUT THE MIDDLE PIECE OF BREAD AND I LEFT THE CRUST, BUT I TRADED THE 1200 00:46:19,677 --> 00:46:20,888 THE MIDDLE PIECE OF BREAD AND I LEFT THE CRUST, BUT I TRADED THE OTHER HALF FOR A HALF OF A 1201 00:46:20,912 --> 00:46:23,290 LEFT THE CRUST, BUT I TRADED THE OTHER HALF FOR A HALF OF A WESTERN OMELET WITH CHEESE. 1202 00:46:23,314 --> 00:46:24,591 OTHER HALF FOR A HALF OF A WESTERN OMELET WITH CHEESE. AND THEN I FINISHED BEFORE 1203 00:46:24,615 --> 00:46:26,093 WESTERN OMELET WITH CHEESE. AND THEN I FINISHED BEFORE EVERYONE ELSE, SO I HAD A ROLL 1204 00:46:26,117 --> 00:46:27,494 AND THEN I FINISHED BEFORE EVERYONE ELSE, SO I HAD A ROLL WITH BUTTER AND THREE FRENCH 1205 00:46:27,518 --> 00:46:28,896 EVERYONE ELSE, SO I HAD A ROLL WITH BUTTER AND THREE FRENCH FRIES OFF OF SOMEBODY ELSE'S 1206 00:46:28,920 --> 00:46:30,330 WITH BUTTER AND THREE FRENCH FRIES OFF OF SOMEBODY ELSE'S PLATE AND A TaB, BUT I DIDN'T 1207 00:46:30,354 --> 00:46:31,131 FRIES OFF OF SOMEBODY ELSE'S PLATE AND A TaB, BUT I DIDN'T ORDER DESSERT. 1208 00:46:31,155 --> 00:46:32,532 PLATE AND A TaB, BUT I DIDN'T ORDER DESSERT. BUT ON THE WAY BACK TO THE 1209 00:46:32,556 --> 00:46:34,134 ORDER DESSERT. BUT ON THE WAY BACK TO THE OFFICE, I HAD A FIG NEWTON AND 1210 00:46:34,158 --> 00:46:35,368 BUT ON THE WAY BACK TO THE OFFICE, I HAD A FIG NEWTON AND AN ALMOND JOY CANDY BAR. 1211 00:46:35,392 --> 00:46:36,970 OFFICE, I HAD A FIG NEWTON AND AN ALMOND JOY CANDY BAR. AND THEN, WHEN I GOT BACK TO THE 1212 00:46:36,994 --> 00:46:38,438 AN ALMOND JOY CANDY BAR. AND THEN, WHEN I GOT BACK TO THE OFFICE, I TOLD EVERYONE I WAS 1213 00:46:38,462 --> 00:46:39,840 AND THEN, WHEN I GOT BACK TO THE OFFICE, I TOLD EVERYONE I WAS GOING TO THE BATHROOM, BUT I 1214 00:46:39,864 --> 00:46:41,208 OFFICE, I TOLD EVERYONE I WAS GOING TO THE BATHROOM, BUT I REALLY WENT TO A COFFEE SHOP AND 1215 00:46:41,232 --> 00:46:42,509 GOING TO THE BATHROOM, BUT I REALLY WENT TO A COFFEE SHOP AND HAD APPLE PIE A LA MODE, AND I 1216 00:46:42,533 --> 00:46:43,443 REALLY WENT TO A COFFEE SHOP AND HAD APPLE PIE A LA MODE, AND I ATE THE WHOLE THING. 1217 00:46:43,467 --> 00:46:44,845 HAD APPLE PIE A LA MODE, AND I ATE THE WHOLE THING. AND ON THE WAY BACK UP, IN THE 1218 00:46:44,869 --> 00:46:46,180 ATE THE WHOLE THING. AND ON THE WAY BACK UP, IN THE ELEVATOR, I FOUND A MILK DUD 1219 00:46:46,204 --> 00:46:47,447 AND ON THE WAY BACK UP, IN THE ELEVATOR, I FOUND A MILK DUD COVERED WITH TOBACCO IN THE 1220 00:46:47,471 --> 00:46:49,749 ELEVATOR, I FOUND A MILK DUD COVERED WITH TOBACCO IN THE BOTTOM OF MY PURSE... 1221 00:46:49,773 --> 00:46:50,884 COVERED WITH TOBACCO IN THE BOTTOM OF MY PURSE... AND I ATE IT. 1222 00:46:50,908 --> 00:46:52,186 BOTTOM OF MY PURSE... AND I ATE IT. AND THEN ON THE WAY... AFTER 1223 00:46:52,210 --> 00:46:53,220 AND I ATE IT. AND THEN ON THE WAY... AFTER WORK, I WENT TO A DRUGSTORE AND 1224 00:46:53,244 --> 00:46:54,021 AND THEN ON THE WAY... AFTER WORK, I WENT TO A DRUGSTORE AND BOUGHT AN M&M PEANUT MUNCH 1225 00:46:54,045 --> 00:46:54,855 WORK, I WENT TO A DRUGSTORE AND BOUGHT AN M&M PEANUT MUNCH BAR AND A BOX OF CHEEZ-ITs. 1226 00:46:54,879 --> 00:46:55,856 BOUGHT AN M&M PEANUT MUNCH BAR AND A BOX OF CHEEZ-ITs. THANK YOU VERY MUCH, GILDA. 1227 00:46:55,880 --> 00:46:56,456 BAR AND A BOX OF CHEEZ-ITs. THANK YOU VERY MUCH, GILDA. THAT'S ENOUGH. 1228 00:46:56,480 --> 00:46:57,424 THANK YOU VERY MUCH, GILDA. THAT'S ENOUGH. BUT I'M NOT FINISHED YET. 1229 00:46:57,448 --> 00:46:58,425 THAT'S ENOUGH. BUT I'M NOT FINISHED YET. I KNOW, BUT WE HAVE TO GO ON 1230 00:46:58,449 --> 00:46:59,026 BUT I'M NOT FINISHED YET. I KNOW, BUT WE HAVE TO GO ON WITH THE SHOW. 1231 00:46:59,050 --> 00:46:59,559 I KNOW, BUT WE HAVE TO GO ON WITH THE SHOW. I'M SORRY. 1232 00:46:59,583 --> 00:47:00,861 WITH THE SHOW. I'M SORRY. OH. I'LL JUST GO GET A SNACK. 1233 00:47:00,885 --> 00:47:01,695 I'M SORRY. OH. I'LL JUST GO GET A SNACK. OKAY. 1234 00:47:01,719 --> 00:47:07,901 OH. I'LL JUST GO GET A SNACK. OKAY. [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE] 1235 00:47:07,925 --> 00:47:09,837 OKAY. [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE] NOW, THIS IS MY FAVORITE PART OF 1236 00:47:09,861 --> 00:47:11,705 [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE] NOW, THIS IS MY FAVORITE PART OF THE SHOW BECAUSE IT GIVES ME A 1237 00:47:11,729 --> 00:47:13,440 NOW, THIS IS MY FAVORITE PART OF THE SHOW BECAUSE IT GIVES ME A CHANCE TO INTRODUCE A FILM 1238 00:47:13,464 --> 00:47:15,309 THE SHOW BECAUSE IT GIVES ME A CHANCE TO INTRODUCE A FILM WRITTEN, DIRECTED, AND STARRING 1239 00:47:15,333 --> 00:47:20,080 CHANCE TO INTRODUCE A FILM WRITTEN, DIRECTED, AND STARRING MY BEST FRIEND, ALBERT BROOKS. 1240 00:47:20,104 --> 00:47:21,948 WRITTEN, DIRECTED, AND STARRING MY BEST FRIEND, ALBERT BROOKS. SO MANY OF US GO THROUGH LIFE 1241 00:47:21,972 --> 00:47:23,683 MY BEST FRIEND, ALBERT BROOKS. SO MANY OF US GO THROUGH LIFE DOING ONE THING, WANTING TO DO 1242 00:47:23,707 --> 00:47:25,152 SO MANY OF US GO THROUGH LIFE DOING ONE THING, WANTING TO DO SOMETHING ELSE. 1243 00:47:25,176 --> 00:47:26,286 DOING ONE THING, WANTING TO DO SOMETHING ELSE. I'M ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE. 1244 00:47:26,310 --> 00:47:27,053 SOMETHING ELSE. I'M ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE. I'M A COMEDIAN. 1245 00:47:27,077 --> 00:47:28,355 I'M ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE. I'M A COMEDIAN. SHOW BUSINESS HAS BEEN GOOD TO 1246 00:47:28,379 --> 00:47:28,788 I'M A COMEDIAN. SHOW BUSINESS HAS BEEN GOOD TO ME. 1247 00:47:28,812 --> 00:47:30,124 SHOW BUSINESS HAS BEEN GOOD TO ME. BUT, QUITE FRANKLY, IF I HAD THE 1248 00:47:30,148 --> 00:47:31,492 ME. BUT, QUITE FRANKLY, IF I HAD THE GRADES IN SCHOOL, I WOULD HAVE 1249 00:47:31,516 --> 00:47:32,959 BUT, QUITE FRANKLY, IF I HAD THE GRADES IN SCHOOL, I WOULD HAVE BECOME A SURGEON. 1250 00:47:32,983 --> 00:47:34,794 GRADES IN SCHOOL, I WOULD HAVE BECOME A SURGEON. WELL, ON JULY 22nd OF THIS YEAR, 1251 00:47:34,818 --> 00:47:36,263 BECOME A SURGEON. WELL, ON JULY 22nd OF THIS YEAR, I DID SOMETHING ABOUT IT. 1252 00:47:36,287 --> 00:47:37,964 WELL, ON JULY 22nd OF THIS YEAR, I DID SOMETHING ABOUT IT. I TOOK OUT THE FOLLOWING AD IN 1253 00:47:37,988 --> 00:47:39,500 I DID SOMETHING ABOUT IT. I TOOK OUT THE FOLLOWING AD IN 10 OF THE NATION'S LEADING 1254 00:47:39,524 --> 00:47:41,468 I TOOK OUT THE FOLLOWING AD IN 10 OF THE NATION'S LEADING NEWSPAPERS... "I, ALBERT BROOKS, 1255 00:47:41,492 --> 00:47:43,370 10 OF THE NATION'S LEADING NEWSPAPERS... "I, ALBERT BROOKS, PROFESSIONAL ENTERTAINER, WISH 1256 00:47:43,394 --> 00:47:45,239 NEWSPAPERS... "I, ALBERT BROOKS, PROFESSIONAL ENTERTAINER, WISH TO PERFORM OPEN-HEART SURGERY, 1257 00:47:45,263 --> 00:47:47,040 PROFESSIONAL ENTERTAINER, WISH TO PERFORM OPEN-HEART SURGERY, CORONARY-BYPASS OPERATION 1258 00:47:47,064 --> 00:47:47,974 TO PERFORM OPEN-HEART SURGERY, CORONARY-BYPASS OPERATION PREFERRED. 1259 00:47:47,998 --> 00:47:50,844 CORONARY-BYPASS OPERATION PREFERRED. YOU WILL BE PAID UP TO $1,000. 1260 00:47:50,868 --> 00:47:52,279 PREFERRED. YOU WILL BE PAID UP TO $1,000. THIS HAS A GOOD CHANCE OF 1261 00:47:52,303 --> 00:47:54,014 YOU WILL BE PAID UP TO $1,000. THIS HAS A GOOD CHANCE OF APPEARING ON NATIONAL TV, AND I 1262 00:47:54,038 --> 00:47:55,749 THIS HAS A GOOD CHANCE OF APPEARING ON NATIONAL TV, AND I WILL BE ASSISTED BY A COMPETENT 1263 00:47:55,773 --> 00:47:56,617 APPEARING ON NATIONAL TV, AND I WILL BE ASSISTED BY A COMPETENT MEDICAL TEAM. 1264 00:47:56,641 --> 00:47:57,618 WILL BE ASSISTED BY A COMPETENT MEDICAL TEAM. NO GAG HERE. 1265 00:47:57,642 --> 00:47:59,253 MEDICAL TEAM. NO GAG HERE. PLEASE WRITE OR PHONE," 1266 00:47:59,277 --> 00:48:00,954 NO GAG HERE. PLEASE WRITE OR PHONE," ET CETERA, ET CETERA. 1267 00:48:00,978 --> 00:48:05,058 PLEASE WRITE OR PHONE," ET CETERA, ET CETERA. ON AUGUST 31st, A WHIM BECAME A 1268 00:48:05,082 --> 00:48:07,461 ET CETERA, ET CETERA. ON AUGUST 31st, A WHIM BECAME A REALITY. 1269 00:48:07,485 --> 00:48:08,595 ON AUGUST 31st, A WHIM BECAME A REALITY. [SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY] 1270 00:48:08,619 --> 00:48:09,829 REALITY. [SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY] I'LL MOVE THIS. 1271 00:48:09,853 --> 00:48:11,165 [SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY] I'LL MOVE THIS. A RALPH PORTER OF 1272 00:48:11,189 --> 00:48:12,999 I'LL MOVE THIS. A RALPH PORTER OF SAN FRANCISCO WAS THE LOGICAL 1273 00:48:13,023 --> 00:48:13,733 A RALPH PORTER OF SAN FRANCISCO WAS THE LOGICAL CHOICE. 1274 00:48:13,757 --> 00:48:15,101 SAN FRANCISCO WAS THE LOGICAL CHOICE. FIRST OF ALL, HE ACCEPTED THE 1275 00:48:15,125 --> 00:48:15,569 CHOICE. FIRST OF ALL, HE ACCEPTED THE OFFER. 1276 00:48:15,593 --> 00:48:17,003 FIRST OF ALL, HE ACCEPTED THE OFFER. SECOND OF ALL, HE LIVED IN THE 1277 00:48:17,027 --> 00:48:18,004 OFFER. SECOND OF ALL, HE LIVED IN THE SAME STATE AS I DID. 1278 00:48:18,028 --> 00:48:19,373 SECOND OF ALL, HE LIVED IN THE SAME STATE AS I DID. THIS PUSHED QUITE A FEW OF THE 1279 00:48:19,397 --> 00:48:20,707 SAME STATE AS I DID. THIS PUSHED QUITE A FEW OF THE LEGAL MATTERS OUT OF THE WAY. 1280 00:48:20,731 --> 00:48:22,108 THIS PUSHED QUITE A FEW OF THE LEGAL MATTERS OUT OF THE WAY. THIRD OF ALL, HE HAPPENED TO BE 1281 00:48:22,132 --> 00:48:23,143 LEGAL MATTERS OUT OF THE WAY. THIRD OF ALL, HE HAPPENED TO BE A BIG FAN. 1282 00:48:23,167 --> 00:48:24,844 THIRD OF ALL, HE HAPPENED TO BE A BIG FAN. HE WAS ONE OF THOSE "ANYTHING 1283 00:48:24,868 --> 00:48:26,480 A BIG FAN. HE WAS ONE OF THOSE "ANYTHING YOU DO IS ALL RIGHT WITH ME" 1284 00:48:26,504 --> 00:48:27,381 HE WAS ONE OF THOSE "ANYTHING YOU DO IS ALL RIGHT WITH ME" KIND OF GUYS. 1285 00:48:27,405 --> 00:48:28,582 YOU DO IS ALL RIGHT WITH ME" KIND OF GUYS. I LIKED HIS WIFE, TOO. 1286 00:48:28,606 --> 00:48:29,650 KIND OF GUYS. I LIKED HIS WIFE, TOO. OH, THERE HE IS. 1287 00:48:29,674 --> 00:48:30,350 I LIKED HIS WIFE, TOO. OH, THERE HE IS. HI, ALBERT. 1288 00:48:30,374 --> 00:48:31,117 OH, THERE HE IS. HI, ALBERT. HOW ARE YOU? 1289 00:48:31,141 --> 00:48:32,085 HI, ALBERT. HOW ARE YOU? HOW YOU DOING? 1290 00:48:32,109 --> 00:48:32,786 HOW ARE YOU? HOW YOU DOING? GOOD GUY. 1291 00:48:32,810 --> 00:48:33,853 HOW YOU DOING? GOOD GUY. HOW ARE YOU DOING? 1292 00:48:33,877 --> 00:48:34,621 GOOD GUY. HOW ARE YOU DOING? HI, ALBERT. 1293 00:48:34,645 --> 00:48:35,955 HOW ARE YOU DOING? HI, ALBERT. OH, WELL, I'LL TELL YOU. 1294 00:48:35,979 --> 00:48:37,257 HI, ALBERT. OH, WELL, I'LL TELL YOU. HOW YOU FEELING, ALBERT? 1295 00:48:37,281 --> 00:48:38,091 OH, WELL, I'LL TELL YOU. HOW YOU FEELING, ALBERT? YOU LOOK TIRED. 1296 00:48:38,115 --> 00:48:39,393 HOW YOU FEELING, ALBERT? YOU LOOK TIRED. I'VE BEEN UP FOR ABOUT A 1297 00:48:39,417 --> 00:48:40,827 YOU LOOK TIRED. I'VE BEEN UP FOR ABOUT A WEEK, STUDYING FOR THIS, AND I 1298 00:48:40,851 --> 00:48:42,296 I'VE BEEN UP FOR ABOUT A WEEK, STUDYING FOR THIS, AND I GOT A REAL BAD SORE THROAT LAST 1299 00:48:42,320 --> 00:48:42,762 WEEK, STUDYING FOR THIS, AND I GOT A REAL BAD SORE THROAT LAST NIGHT. 1300 00:48:42,786 --> 00:48:44,264 GOT A REAL BAD SORE THROAT LAST NIGHT. OH, GET HIM SOME COUGH DROPS, 1301 00:48:44,288 --> 00:48:44,731 NIGHT. OH, GET HIM SOME COUGH DROPS, HONEY. 1302 00:48:44,755 --> 00:48:45,265 OH, GET HIM SOME COUGH DROPS, HONEY. OKAY. 1303 00:48:45,289 --> 00:48:45,999 HONEY. OKAY. IT'S OKAY. 1304 00:48:46,023 --> 00:48:46,933 OKAY. IT'S OKAY. NO, NO, IT'S OKAY. 1305 00:48:46,957 --> 00:48:48,101 IT'S OKAY. NO, NO, IT'S OKAY. I JUST HAVE A REAL QUICK 1306 00:48:48,125 --> 00:48:49,469 NO, NO, IT'S OKAY. I JUST HAVE A REAL QUICK INSURANCE RELEASE FOR YOU TO 1307 00:48:49,493 --> 00:48:53,373 I JUST HAVE A REAL QUICK INSURANCE RELEASE FOR YOU TO SIGN THERE... RIGHT THERE. 1308 00:48:53,397 --> 00:48:54,408 INSURANCE RELEASE FOR YOU TO SIGN THERE... RIGHT THERE. IS THIS GONNA BE ON 1309 00:48:54,432 --> 00:48:55,008 SIGN THERE... RIGHT THERE. IS THIS GONNA BE ON TELEVISION? 1310 00:48:55,032 --> 00:48:56,343 IS THIS GONNA BE ON TELEVISION? WELL, OH, YEAH, YOU REMINDED 1311 00:48:56,367 --> 00:48:57,644 TELEVISION? WELL, OH, YEAH, YOU REMINDED ME... I DON'T THINK YOU SIGNED A 1312 00:48:57,668 --> 00:48:58,912 WELL, OH, YEAH, YOU REMINDED ME... I DON'T THINK YOU SIGNED A TV RELEASE YET, DID YOU? 1313 00:48:58,936 --> 00:48:59,413 ME... I DON'T THINK YOU SIGNED A TV RELEASE YET, DID YOU? NO. 1314 00:48:59,437 --> 00:49:00,046 TV RELEASE YET, DID YOU? NO. NO? HERE. 1315 00:49:00,070 --> 00:49:01,415 NO. NO? HERE. WHY DON'T YOU SIGN THAT RELEASE 1316 00:49:01,439 --> 00:49:02,048 NO? HERE. WHY DON'T YOU SIGN THAT RELEASE RIGHT THERE? 1317 00:49:02,072 --> 00:49:02,549 WHY DON'T YOU SIGN THAT RELEASE RIGHT THERE? OKAY. 1318 00:49:02,573 --> 00:49:03,450 RIGHT THERE? OKAY. HOW YOU FEELING? 1319 00:49:03,474 --> 00:49:04,218 OKAY. HOW YOU FEELING? FINE. GREAT. 1320 00:49:04,242 --> 00:49:05,319 HOW YOU FEELING? FINE. GREAT. OH, WELL, GOOD. GOOD. 1321 00:49:05,343 --> 00:49:06,553 FINE. GREAT. OH, WELL, GOOD. GOOD. OKAY, YOU READY FOR SURGERY? 1322 00:49:06,577 --> 00:49:07,387 OH, WELL, GOOD. GOOD. OKAY, YOU READY FOR SURGERY? I'M READY, BOY. 1323 00:49:07,411 --> 00:49:08,054 OKAY, YOU READY FOR SURGERY? I'M READY, BOY. ALL RIGHT. 1324 00:49:08,078 --> 00:49:09,323 I'M READY, BOY. ALL RIGHT. WELL, LOOK, THEY'RE GONNA COME 1325 00:49:09,347 --> 00:49:10,691 ALL RIGHT. WELL, LOOK, THEY'RE GONNA COME AND TAKE YOU DOWN, AND I'LL MEET 1326 00:49:10,715 --> 00:49:11,625 WELL, LOOK, THEY'RE GONNA COME AND TAKE YOU DOWN, AND I'LL MEET YOU DOWN THERE, OKAY? 1327 00:49:11,649 --> 00:49:12,659 AND TAKE YOU DOWN, AND I'LL MEET YOU DOWN THERE, OKAY? WELL, GOOD, GOOD. 1328 00:49:12,683 --> 00:49:13,827 YOU DOWN THERE, OKAY? WELL, GOOD, GOOD. OKAY. SEE YOU THERE. 1329 00:49:13,851 --> 00:49:14,361 WELL, GOOD, GOOD. OKAY. SEE YOU THERE. OKAY. 1330 00:49:14,385 --> 00:49:15,262 OKAY. SEE YOU THERE. OKAY. OKAY, BYE-BYE. 1331 00:49:15,286 --> 00:49:15,829 OKAY. OKAY, BYE-BYE. BYE. 1332 00:49:15,853 --> 00:49:17,097 OKAY, BYE-BYE. BYE. GREAT GUY, YOU KNOW? 1333 00:49:17,121 --> 00:49:18,699 BYE. GREAT GUY, YOU KNOW? YEAH, HE'LL TAKE GOOD CARE OF 1334 00:49:18,723 --> 00:49:19,165 GREAT GUY, YOU KNOW? YEAH, HE'LL TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOU. 1335 00:49:19,189 --> 00:49:20,300 YEAH, HE'LL TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOU. I'M SURE HE WILL. 1336 00:49:20,324 --> 00:49:21,901 YOU. I'M SURE HE WILL. HEY, WHAT'S THAT? 1337 00:49:21,925 --> 00:49:23,503 I'M SURE HE WILL. HEY, WHAT'S THAT? OH, THIS IS THE INVISIBLE MAN 1338 00:49:23,527 --> 00:49:23,970 HEY, WHAT'S THAT? OH, THIS IS THE INVISIBLE MAN THING. 1339 00:49:23,994 --> 00:49:25,539 OH, THIS IS THE INVISIBLE MAN THING. I THOUGHT IT WOULD HELP ME WITH 1340 00:49:25,563 --> 00:49:26,940 THING. I THOUGHT IT WOULD HELP ME WITH YOUR SURGERY, BUT I DIDN'T HAVE 1341 00:49:26,964 --> 00:49:28,141 I THOUGHT IT WOULD HELP ME WITH YOUR SURGERY, BUT I DIDN'T HAVE A CHANCE TO PUT IT TOGETHER. 1342 00:49:28,165 --> 00:49:28,808 YOUR SURGERY, BUT I DIDN'T HAVE A CHANCE TO PUT IT TOGETHER. [CHUCKLES] 1343 00:49:28,832 --> 00:49:29,809 A CHANCE TO PUT IT TOGETHER. [CHUCKLES] ANYWAY, ACTUALLY, MOST OF 1344 00:49:29,833 --> 00:49:30,844 [CHUCKLES] ANYWAY, ACTUALLY, MOST OF THESE OTHER THINGS AREN'T REALLY 1345 00:49:30,868 --> 00:49:31,411 ANYWAY, ACTUALLY, MOST OF THESE OTHER THINGS AREN'T REALLY IMPORTANT. 1346 00:49:31,435 --> 00:49:32,446 THESE OTHER THINGS AREN'T REALLY IMPORTANT. OH, WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S 1347 00:49:32,470 --> 00:49:33,012 IMPORTANT. OH, WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT. 1348 00:49:33,036 --> 00:49:34,013 OH, WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT. YEAH, I DON'T THINK I HAD TO 1349 00:49:34,037 --> 00:49:34,481 ALL ABOUT. YEAH, I DON'T THINK I HAD TO DO IT. 1350 00:49:34,505 --> 00:49:35,482 YEAH, I DON'T THINK I HAD TO DO IT. AND I HAVE ALL THESE... HERE. 1351 00:49:35,506 --> 00:49:36,416 DO IT. AND I HAVE ALL THESE... HERE. HOLD THIS FOR A SECOND. 1352 00:49:36,440 --> 00:49:37,384 AND I HAVE ALL THESE... HERE. HOLD THIS FOR A SECOND. YEAH, I GOT ONE FOR MY 1353 00:49:37,408 --> 00:49:37,951 HOLD THIS FOR A SECOND. YEAH, I GOT ONE FOR MY GRANDSON. 1354 00:49:37,975 --> 00:49:38,985 YEAH, I GOT ONE FOR MY GRANDSON. HE'S 10 YEARS OLD, AND HE PUT IT 1355 00:49:39,009 --> 00:49:39,986 GRANDSON. HE'S 10 YEARS OLD, AND HE PUT IT TOGETHER IN ABOUT A HALF-HOUR. 1356 00:49:40,010 --> 00:49:40,987 HE'S 10 YEARS OLD, AND HE PUT IT TOGETHER IN ABOUT A HALF-HOUR. IT'S NOT THAT I COULDN'T. 1357 00:49:41,011 --> 00:49:41,988 TOGETHER IN ABOUT A HALF-HOUR. IT'S NOT THAT I COULDN'T. IT'S JUST THAT I DIDN'T HAVE 1358 00:49:42,012 --> 00:49:42,589 IT'S NOT THAT I COULDN'T. IT'S JUST THAT I DIDN'T HAVE TIME TO DO IT. 1359 00:49:42,613 --> 00:49:43,624 IT'S JUST THAT I DIDN'T HAVE TIME TO DO IT. HERE. WHY DON'T YOU GIVE HIM 1360 00:49:43,648 --> 00:49:44,491 TIME TO DO IT. HERE. WHY DON'T YOU GIVE HIM THIS, IF YOU WANT? 1361 00:49:44,515 --> 00:49:45,091 HERE. WHY DON'T YOU GIVE HIM THIS, IF YOU WANT? OKAY. 1362 00:49:45,115 --> 00:49:46,393 THIS, IF YOU WANT? OKAY. MAYBE HE CAN PUT ANOTHER ONE 1363 00:49:46,417 --> 00:49:47,327 OKAY. MAYBE HE CAN PUT ANOTHER ONE TOGETHER. 1364 00:49:47,351 --> 00:49:48,762 MAYBE HE CAN PUT ANOTHER ONE TOGETHER. EXACTLY WHAT IS THE 1365 00:49:48,786 --> 00:49:50,430 TOGETHER. EXACTLY WHAT IS THE CORONARY-BYPASS OPERATION? 1366 00:49:50,454 --> 00:49:52,366 EXACTLY WHAT IS THE CORONARY-BYPASS OPERATION? DR. BERNARD MILLMAN, ONE OF THE 1367 00:49:52,390 --> 00:49:55,569 CORONARY-BYPASS OPERATION? DR. BERNARD MILLMAN, ONE OF THE DOCTORS ON MY TEAM, EXPLAINS. 1368 00:49:55,593 --> 00:49:57,504 DR. BERNARD MILLMAN, ONE OF THE DOCTORS ON MY TEAM, EXPLAINS. THE CORONARY ARTERIES, THESE 1369 00:49:57,528 --> 00:49:59,406 DOCTORS ON MY TEAM, EXPLAINS. THE CORONARY ARTERIES, THESE RED LINES YOU SEE HERE, SUPPLY 1370 00:49:59,430 --> 00:50:01,007 THE CORONARY ARTERIES, THESE RED LINES YOU SEE HERE, SUPPLY FRESH BLOOD TO THE HEART. 1371 00:50:01,031 --> 00:50:02,909 RED LINES YOU SEE HERE, SUPPLY FRESH BLOOD TO THE HEART. SOMETIMES AN OBSTRUCTION WILL 1372 00:50:02,933 --> 00:50:04,911 FRESH BLOOD TO THE HEART. SOMETIMES AN OBSTRUCTION WILL OCCUR ALONG THE WAY WHICH STOPS 1373 00:50:04,935 --> 00:50:05,979 SOMETIMES AN OBSTRUCTION WILL OCCUR ALONG THE WAY WHICH STOPS THE BLOOD FLOW. 1374 00:50:06,003 --> 00:50:08,047 OCCUR ALONG THE WAY WHICH STOPS THE BLOOD FLOW. A BYPASS IS THEN MADE, USING THE 1375 00:50:08,071 --> 00:50:10,016 THE BLOOD FLOW. A BYPASS IS THEN MADE, USING THE SAPHENOUS VEIN FROM THE LEG AS 1376 00:50:10,040 --> 00:50:11,618 A BYPASS IS THEN MADE, USING THE SAPHENOUS VEIN FROM THE LEG AS THE NEW VESSEL, AND IT'S 1377 00:50:11,642 --> 00:50:13,520 SAPHENOUS VEIN FROM THE LEG AS THE NEW VESSEL, AND IT'S CONNECTED FROM THE AORTA, THE 1378 00:50:13,544 --> 00:50:15,955 THE NEW VESSEL, AND IT'S CONNECTED FROM THE AORTA, THE HEART'S MAIN ARTERY, BACK TO THE 1379 00:50:15,979 --> 00:50:18,091 CONNECTED FROM THE AORTA, THE HEART'S MAIN ARTERY, BACK TO THE SMALLER CORONARY ARTERIES AT 1380 00:50:18,115 --> 00:50:20,527 HEART'S MAIN ARTERY, BACK TO THE SMALLER CORONARY ARTERIES AT SOME POINT PAST THE OBSTRUCTION, 1381 00:50:20,551 --> 00:50:22,562 SMALLER CORONARY ARTERIES AT SOME POINT PAST THE OBSTRUCTION, THEREBY RESTORING THE BLOOD 1382 00:50:22,586 --> 00:50:24,631 SOME POINT PAST THE OBSTRUCTION, THEREBY RESTORING THE BLOOD FLOW. 1383 00:50:24,655 --> 00:50:26,032 THEREBY RESTORING THE BLOOD FLOW. MR. PORTER WAS INTRODUCED 1384 00:50:26,056 --> 00:50:27,200 FLOW. MR. PORTER WAS INTRODUCED TO MY CHIEF ASSISTANT, 1385 00:50:27,224 --> 00:50:28,669 MR. PORTER WAS INTRODUCED TO MY CHIEF ASSISTANT, DR. EDWARD HILLER, AN AMERICAN 1386 00:50:28,693 --> 00:50:29,836 TO MY CHIEF ASSISTANT, DR. EDWARD HILLER, AN AMERICAN NOW WORKING IN SWEDEN. 1387 00:50:29,860 --> 00:50:30,970 DR. EDWARD HILLER, AN AMERICAN NOW WORKING IN SWEDEN. I'M DR. HILLER, CHIEF 1388 00:50:30,994 --> 00:50:31,471 NOW WORKING IN SWEDEN. I'M DR. HILLER, CHIEF SURGEON. 1389 00:50:31,495 --> 00:50:32,606 I'M DR. HILLER, CHIEF SURGEON. I'LL BE IN CHARGE OF THE 1390 00:50:32,630 --> 00:50:33,173 SURGEON. I'LL BE IN CHARGE OF THE OPERATION. 1391 00:50:33,197 --> 00:50:34,474 I'LL BE IN CHARGE OF THE OPERATION. WELL, I'LL BE IN CHARGE OF 1392 00:50:34,498 --> 00:50:35,208 OPERATION. WELL, I'LL BE IN CHARGE OF THE OPERATION. 1393 00:50:35,232 --> 00:50:36,610 WELL, I'LL BE IN CHARGE OF THE OPERATION. I'M CALLING HIM IN TO HELP ME AS 1394 00:50:36,634 --> 00:50:37,944 THE OPERATION. I'M CALLING HIM IN TO HELP ME AS THE CHIEF. 1395 00:50:37,968 --> 00:50:39,579 I'M CALLING HIM IN TO HELP ME AS THE CHIEF. I'LL BE ASSISTING MR. BROOKS. 1396 00:50:39,603 --> 00:50:40,647 THE CHIEF. I'LL BE ASSISTING MR. BROOKS. HOW ARE YOU FEELING? 1397 00:50:40,671 --> 00:50:42,282 I'LL BE ASSISTING MR. BROOKS. HOW ARE YOU FEELING? DR. HILLER WAS WHAT WAS KNOWN 1398 00:50:42,306 --> 00:50:43,817 HOW ARE YOU FEELING? DR. HILLER WAS WHAT WAS KNOWN IN THE MEDICAL PROFESSION AS A 1399 00:50:43,841 --> 00:50:45,919 DR. HILLER WAS WHAT WAS KNOWN IN THE MEDICAL PROFESSION AS A PRIMA DONNA, BUT I HEARD HE WAS 1400 00:50:45,943 --> 00:50:48,422 IN THE MEDICAL PROFESSION AS A PRIMA DONNA, BUT I HEARD HE WAS GOOD, AND I NEEDED HIM. 1401 00:50:48,446 --> 00:50:50,624 PRIMA DONNA, BUT I HEARD HE WAS GOOD, AND I NEEDED HIM. THE NEXT DOCTOR WAS HAL LESTER, 1402 00:50:50,648 --> 00:50:52,492 GOOD, AND I NEEDED HIM. THE NEXT DOCTOR WAS HAL LESTER, FORMERLY OF THE ST. LOUIS 1403 00:50:52,516 --> 00:50:53,226 THE NEXT DOCTOR WAS HAL LESTER, FORMERLY OF THE ST. LOUIS CLINIC. 1404 00:50:53,250 --> 00:50:53,927 FORMERLY OF THE ST. LOUIS CLINIC. HELLO. 1405 00:50:53,951 --> 00:50:54,594 CLINIC. HELLO. HELLO. 1406 00:50:54,618 --> 00:50:55,895 HELLO. HELLO. HOW ARE YOU, MR. PORTER? 1407 00:50:55,919 --> 00:50:56,697 HELLO. HOW ARE YOU, MR. PORTER? I'M DR. LESTER. 1408 00:50:56,721 --> 00:50:57,698 HOW ARE YOU, MR. PORTER? I'M DR. LESTER. PLEASURE, DOCTOR. 1409 00:50:57,722 --> 00:50:58,932 I'M DR. LESTER. PLEASURE, DOCTOR. YES, I'LL BE ASSISTING IN 1410 00:50:58,956 --> 00:50:59,866 PLEASURE, DOCTOR. YES, I'LL BE ASSISTING IN YOUR OPERATION TODAY. 1411 00:50:59,890 --> 00:51:00,500 YES, I'LL BE ASSISTING IN YOUR OPERATION TODAY. OH, GOOD. 1412 00:51:00,524 --> 00:51:01,335 YOUR OPERATION TODAY. OH, GOOD. NICE TO SEE YOU. 1413 00:51:01,359 --> 00:51:01,868 OH, GOOD. NICE TO SEE YOU. OKAY. 1414 00:51:01,892 --> 00:51:02,669 NICE TO SEE YOU. OKAY. OKAY. 1415 00:51:02,693 --> 00:51:03,470 OKAY. OKAY. GOOD. 1416 00:51:03,494 --> 00:51:05,271 OKAY. GOOD. HE'S CLUMSY, BUT NOT WHEN IT 1417 00:51:05,295 --> 00:51:05,872 GOOD. HE'S CLUMSY, BUT NOT WHEN IT COUNTS. 1418 00:51:05,896 --> 00:51:07,541 HE'S CLUMSY, BUT NOT WHEN IT COUNTS. AND THE MAN YOU MET EARLIER, 1419 00:51:07,565 --> 00:51:09,576 COUNTS. AND THE MAN YOU MET EARLIER, DR. BERNARD MILLMAN, FORMERLY OF 1420 00:51:09,600 --> 00:51:11,478 AND THE MAN YOU MET EARLIER, DR. BERNARD MILLMAN, FORMERLY OF THE LONDON HEART INSTITUTE. 1421 00:51:11,502 --> 00:51:12,979 DR. BERNARD MILLMAN, FORMERLY OF THE LONDON HEART INSTITUTE. ENGLAND... FROM ENGLAND. 1422 00:51:13,003 --> 00:51:14,080 THE LONDON HEART INSTITUTE. ENGLAND... FROM ENGLAND. GEE, ALL OVER THE WORLD. 1423 00:51:14,104 --> 00:51:15,181 ENGLAND... FROM ENGLAND. GEE, ALL OVER THE WORLD. YEAH, ALL OVER THE WORLD. 1424 00:51:15,205 --> 00:51:16,383 GEE, ALL OVER THE WORLD. YEAH, ALL OVER THE WORLD. IT WAS EASIER TO GET THEM FROM 1425 00:51:16,407 --> 00:51:17,183 YEAH, ALL OVER THE WORLD. IT WAS EASIER TO GET THEM FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD. 1426 00:51:17,207 --> 00:51:18,652 IT WAS EASIER TO GET THEM FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD. YEAH, IT MAKES SENSE. 1427 00:51:18,676 --> 00:51:19,653 ALL OVER THE WORLD. YEAH, IT MAKES SENSE. ALL RIGHT. 1428 00:51:19,677 --> 00:51:21,555 YEAH, IT MAKES SENSE. ALL RIGHT. AND THEN WE WERE AT SURGERY. 1429 00:51:21,579 --> 00:51:22,756 ALL RIGHT. AND THEN WE WERE AT SURGERY. THE PORTERS SAID A BRIEF 1430 00:51:22,780 --> 00:51:23,289 AND THEN WE WERE AT SURGERY. THE PORTERS SAID A BRIEF GOODBYE. 1431 00:51:23,313 --> 00:51:24,224 THE PORTERS SAID A BRIEF GOODBYE. BYE-BYE, HONEY. 1432 00:51:24,248 --> 00:51:25,191 GOODBYE. BYE-BYE, HONEY. I'LL SEE YOU LATER. 1433 00:51:25,215 --> 00:51:25,992 BYE-BYE, HONEY. I'LL SEE YOU LATER. HERE, WAIT. 1434 00:51:26,016 --> 00:51:27,060 I'LL SEE YOU LATER. HERE, WAIT. TAKE THIS LITTLE TOY. 1435 00:51:27,084 --> 00:51:27,794 HERE, WAIT. TAKE THIS LITTLE TOY. ALL RIGHT. 1436 00:51:27,818 --> 00:51:28,328 TAKE THIS LITTLE TOY. ALL RIGHT. OKAY. 1437 00:51:28,352 --> 00:51:30,196 ALL RIGHT. OKAY. THE MOMENT I'D BEEN WAITING FOR 1438 00:51:30,220 --> 00:51:31,865 OKAY. THE MOMENT I'D BEEN WAITING FOR SINCE I WAS 7 YEARS OLD WAS 1439 00:51:31,889 --> 00:51:34,668 THE MOMENT I'D BEEN WAITING FOR SINCE I WAS 7 YEARS OLD WAS FINALLY COMING. 1440 00:51:34,692 --> 00:51:35,736 SINCE I WAS 7 YEARS OLD WAS FINALLY COMING. TAKE THIS LITTLE TOY, TOO, 1441 00:51:35,760 --> 00:51:36,536 FINALLY COMING. TAKE THIS LITTLE TOY, TOO, MRS. PORTER. 1442 00:51:36,560 --> 00:51:39,773 TAKE THIS LITTLE TOY, TOO, MRS. PORTER. I WAS NO LONGER "MISTER"... I 1443 00:51:39,797 --> 00:51:41,274 MRS. PORTER. I WAS NO LONGER "MISTER"... I WAS "DOCTOR"... 1444 00:51:41,298 --> 00:51:43,543 I WAS NO LONGER "MISTER"... I WAS "DOCTOR"... DR. ALBERT BROOKS. 1445 00:51:43,567 --> 00:51:45,812 WAS "DOCTOR"... DR. ALBERT BROOKS. DR. ALBERT BROOKS. 1446 00:51:45,836 --> 00:51:48,081 DR. ALBERT BROOKS. DR. ALBERT BROOKS. ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY, GOOD LUCK. 1447 00:51:48,105 --> 00:51:49,883 DR. ALBERT BROOKS. ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY, GOOD LUCK. MARK THE TIME. 1448 00:51:49,907 --> 00:51:52,386 ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY, GOOD LUCK. MARK THE TIME. HERE WE GO. 1449 00:51:52,410 --> 00:51:53,887 MARK THE TIME. HERE WE GO. NO, NO, NO, NO. 1450 00:51:53,911 --> 00:51:55,455 HERE WE GO. NO, NO, NO, NO. OKAY, ALL RIGHT. 1451 00:51:55,479 --> 00:51:56,256 NO, NO, NO, NO. OKAY, ALL RIGHT. [SCOFFS] 1452 00:51:56,280 --> 00:51:57,657 OKAY, ALL RIGHT. [SCOFFS] I PRAY IT DOESN'T HURT. 1453 00:51:57,681 --> 00:51:58,892 [SCOFFS] I PRAY IT DOESN'T HURT. I PRAY IT DOESN'T HURT. 1454 00:51:58,916 --> 00:52:00,093 I PRAY IT DOESN'T HURT. I PRAY IT DOESN'T HURT. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING... 1455 00:52:00,117 --> 00:52:01,294 I PRAY IT DOESN'T HURT. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING... I'LL PRAY IT DOESN'T HURT. 1456 00:52:01,318 --> 00:52:02,161 WHAT THE HELL IS GOING... I'LL PRAY IT DOESN'T HURT. WHY IS HE AWAKE? 1457 00:52:02,185 --> 00:52:03,497 I'LL PRAY IT DOESN'T HURT. WHY IS HE AWAKE? WHERE'S THE ANESTHESIOLOGIST? 1458 00:52:03,521 --> 00:52:04,865 WHY IS HE AWAKE? WHERE'S THE ANESTHESIOLOGIST? I DON'T KNOW, BUT YOU'RE THE 1459 00:52:04,889 --> 00:52:05,365 WHERE'S THE ANESTHESIOLOGIST? I DON'T KNOW, BUT YOU'RE THE CHIEF. 1460 00:52:05,389 --> 00:52:06,966 I DON'T KNOW, BUT YOU'RE THE CHIEF. [LAUGHS] 1461 00:52:06,990 --> 00:52:09,269 CHIEF. [LAUGHS] LOOK, I HAVE BEEN UP FOR A 1462 00:52:09,293 --> 00:52:09,736 [LAUGHS] LOOK, I HAVE BEEN UP FOR A WEEK. 1463 00:52:09,760 --> 00:52:11,405 LOOK, I HAVE BEEN UP FOR A WEEK. I HAVE A VERY BAD SORE THROAT. 1464 00:52:11,429 --> 00:52:12,606 WEEK. I HAVE A VERY BAD SORE THROAT. DON'T START WITH ME. 1465 00:52:12,630 --> 00:52:14,140 I HAVE A VERY BAD SORE THROAT. DON'T START WITH ME. HE DON'T FEEL VERY WELL. 1466 00:52:14,164 --> 00:52:15,141 DON'T START WITH ME. HE DON'T FEEL VERY WELL. LEAVE HIM ALONE. 1467 00:52:15,165 --> 00:52:16,242 HE DON'T FEEL VERY WELL. LEAVE HIM ALONE. THAT'S ALL RIGHT. 1468 00:52:16,266 --> 00:52:17,043 LEAVE HIM ALONE. THAT'S ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT. 1469 00:52:17,067 --> 00:52:18,612 THAT'S ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT. I'LL GO SEE IF I CAN FIND HIM. 1470 00:52:18,636 --> 00:52:19,413 ALL RIGHT. I'LL GO SEE IF I CAN FIND HIM. ALL RIGHT. 1471 00:52:19,437 --> 00:52:21,214 I'LL GO SEE IF I CAN FIND HIM. ALL RIGHT. LET'S TAKE A BREAK TILL HE GETS 1472 00:52:21,238 --> 00:52:21,715 ALL RIGHT. LET'S TAKE A BREAK TILL HE GETS HERE. 1473 00:52:21,739 --> 00:52:22,682 LET'S TAKE A BREAK TILL HE GETS HERE. YOU CAN RELAX. 1474 00:52:22,706 --> 00:52:24,551 HERE. YOU CAN RELAX. WE'RE GONNA TAKE A LITTLE BREAK. 1475 00:52:24,575 --> 00:52:25,919 YOU CAN RELAX. WE'RE GONNA TAKE A LITTLE BREAK. THIS IS A VERY DIFFICULT 1476 00:52:25,943 --> 00:52:27,621 WE'RE GONNA TAKE A LITTLE BREAK. THIS IS A VERY DIFFICULT POSITION TO PUT A PATIENT IN... 1477 00:52:27,645 --> 00:52:29,122 THIS IS A VERY DIFFICULT POSITION TO PUT A PATIENT IN... READY FOR SURGERY AND THEN 1478 00:52:29,146 --> 00:52:30,223 POSITION TO PUT A PATIENT IN... READY FOR SURGERY AND THEN HAVING TO HALT IT. 1479 00:52:30,247 --> 00:52:32,091 READY FOR SURGERY AND THEN HAVING TO HALT IT. I TRIED TO ENTERTAIN MR. PORTER 1480 00:52:32,115 --> 00:52:33,192 HAVING TO HALT IT. I TRIED TO ENTERTAIN MR. PORTER WHILE WE WAITED. 1481 00:52:33,216 --> 00:52:35,194 I TRIED TO ENTERTAIN MR. PORTER WHILE WE WAITED. YEAH? 1482 00:52:35,218 --> 00:52:36,362 WHILE WE WAITED. YEAH? "UH, HELLO, HELLO. 1483 00:52:36,386 --> 00:52:37,196 YEAH? "UH, HELLO, HELLO. HOW YOU DOING? 1484 00:52:37,220 --> 00:52:38,097 "UH, HELLO, HELLO. HOW YOU DOING? HOW YOU DOING?" 1485 00:52:38,121 --> 00:52:39,900 HOW YOU DOING? HOW YOU DOING?" [LAUGHTER] 1486 00:52:39,924 --> 00:52:41,000 HOW YOU DOING?" [LAUGHTER] "HOW'S EVERYTHING DOING?" 1487 00:52:41,024 --> 00:52:41,835 [LAUGHTER] "HOW'S EVERYTHING DOING?" "OH, PRETTY GOOD." 1488 00:52:41,859 --> 00:52:43,236 "HOW'S EVERYTHING DOING?" "OH, PRETTY GOOD." TIME PASSED ON. 1489 00:52:43,260 --> 00:52:46,540 TIME PASSED ON. MR. PORTER READ FOR A BIT. 1490 00:52:46,564 --> 00:52:51,244 MR. PORTER READ FOR A BIT. AND THEN, AT 2:35, ONE HOUR AND 5 MINUTES LATER, DR. PAT SUTER 1491 00:52:51,268 --> 00:52:53,079 AND THEN, AT 2:35, ONE HOUR AND 5 MINUTES LATER, DR. PAT SUTER ARRIVED. 1492 00:52:53,103 --> 00:52:55,449 5 MINUTES LATER, DR. PAT SUTER ARRIVED. I'M SORRY I'M LATE. 1493 00:52:55,473 --> 00:52:57,050 ARRIVED. I'M SORRY I'M LATE. I JUST HAD... MY TIMES WERE ALL 1494 00:52:57,074 --> 00:52:57,784 I'M SORRY I'M LATE. I JUST HAD... MY TIMES WERE ALL SCREWED UP. 1495 00:52:57,808 --> 00:52:58,452 I JUST HAD... MY TIMES WERE ALL SCREWED UP. I'M SORRY. 1496 00:52:58,476 --> 00:52:59,719 SCREWED UP. I'M SORRY. DR. SUTER IS A FINE 1497 00:52:59,743 --> 00:53:01,321 I'M SORRY. DR. SUTER IS A FINE ANESTHESIOLOGIST AND SIMPLY DID 1498 00:53:01,345 --> 00:53:03,122 DR. SUTER IS A FINE ANESTHESIOLOGIST AND SIMPLY DID NOT KNOW WHAT TIME IT WAS. 1499 00:53:03,146 --> 00:53:06,927 ANESTHESIOLOGIST AND SIMPLY DID NOT KNOW WHAT TIME IT WAS. I BETTER TAKE THIS FROM YOU. 1500 00:53:06,951 --> 00:53:09,696 NOT KNOW WHAT TIME IT WAS. I BETTER TAKE THIS FROM YOU. AFTER A BIT OF PREPARATION, WE 1501 00:53:09,720 --> 00:53:15,068 I BETTER TAKE THIS FROM YOU. AFTER A BIT OF PREPARATION, WE WERE READY TO START ONCE AGAIN. 1502 00:53:15,092 --> 00:53:17,704 AFTER A BIT OF PREPARATION, WE WERE READY TO START ONCE AGAIN. I KNOW, I KNOW... OVER. 1503 00:53:17,728 --> 00:53:19,205 WERE READY TO START ONCE AGAIN. I KNOW, I KNOW... OVER. ALL RIGHT. 1504 00:53:19,229 --> 00:53:22,241 I KNOW, I KNOW... OVER. ALL RIGHT. [INDISTINCT CONVERSATION] 1505 00:53:22,265 --> 00:53:23,176 ALL RIGHT. [INDISTINCT CONVERSATION] QUIET. 1506 00:53:23,200 --> 00:53:24,878 [INDISTINCT CONVERSATION] QUIET. [CONVERSATION STOPS] 1507 00:53:24,902 --> 00:53:32,902 QUIET. [CONVERSATION STOPS] HEMOSTAT. 1508 00:53:32,977 --> 00:53:36,790 [CONVERSATION STOPS] HEMOSTAT. HE'S NOT EVEN BLEEDING. 1509 00:53:36,814 --> 00:53:39,125 HEMOSTAT. HE'S NOT EVEN BLEEDING. HILLER WAS RIGHT... HE WASN'T 1510 00:53:39,149 --> 00:53:39,993 HE'S NOT EVEN BLEEDING. HILLER WAS RIGHT... HE WASN'T BLEEDING. 1511 00:53:40,017 --> 00:53:41,461 HILLER WAS RIGHT... HE WASN'T BLEEDING. I COULDN'T CUT HIM. 1512 00:53:41,485 --> 00:53:43,396 BLEEDING. I COULDN'T CUT HIM. WHAT WAS I DOING IN THERE? 1513 00:53:43,420 --> 00:53:44,965 I COULDN'T CUT HIM. WHAT WAS I DOING IN THERE? I WAS SORRY I HAD TAKEN THIS 1514 00:53:44,989 --> 00:53:46,032 WHAT WAS I DOING IN THERE? I WAS SORRY I HAD TAKEN THIS WHOLE PROJECT ON. 1515 00:53:46,056 --> 00:53:47,801 I WAS SORRY I HAD TAKEN THIS WHOLE PROJECT ON. I BELONGED ON A STAGE, NOT IN AN 1516 00:53:47,825 --> 00:53:48,768 WHOLE PROJECT ON. I BELONGED ON A STAGE, NOT IN AN OPERATING ROOM. 1517 00:53:48,792 --> 00:53:50,069 I BELONGED ON A STAGE, NOT IN AN OPERATING ROOM. I WANTED OUT. 1518 00:53:50,093 --> 00:53:52,005 OPERATING ROOM. I WANTED OUT. I WASN'T FEELING WELL. 1519 00:53:52,029 --> 00:53:53,673 I WANTED OUT. I WASN'T FEELING WELL. BOY, THEY HAD A LOT OF DRUGS IN 1520 00:53:53,697 --> 00:53:54,240 I WASN'T FEELING WELL. BOY, THEY HAD A LOT OF DRUGS IN THERE. 1521 00:53:54,264 --> 00:53:55,742 BOY, THEY HAD A LOT OF DRUGS IN THERE. AND THEN I THOUGHT, "WAIT A 1522 00:53:55,766 --> 00:53:56,309 THERE. AND THEN I THOUGHT, "WAIT A MINUTE. 1523 00:53:56,333 --> 00:53:57,978 AND THEN I THOUGHT, "WAIT A MINUTE. AM I GONNA CHICKEN OUT, LIKE 1524 00:53:58,002 --> 00:53:59,713 MINUTE. AM I GONNA CHICKEN OUT, LIKE EVERYTHING ELSE I'VE EVER DONE? 1525 00:53:59,737 --> 00:54:01,715 AM I GONNA CHICKEN OUT, LIKE EVERYTHING ELSE I'VE EVER DONE? I PUT THIS WHOLE THING TOGETHER. 1526 00:54:01,739 --> 00:54:03,016 EVERYTHING ELSE I'VE EVER DONE? I PUT THIS WHOLE THING TOGETHER. I'M FULLY INSURED." 1527 00:54:03,040 --> 00:54:04,918 I PUT THIS WHOLE THING TOGETHER. I'M FULLY INSURED." AND I WALK OVER WITH A COURAGE 1528 00:54:04,942 --> 00:54:06,452 I'M FULLY INSURED." AND I WALK OVER WITH A COURAGE I'D NEVER KNOWN BEFORE. 1529 00:54:06,476 --> 00:54:08,021 AND I WALK OVER WITH A COURAGE I'D NEVER KNOWN BEFORE. AND IN LESS THAN 20 MINUTES, I 1530 00:54:08,045 --> 00:54:09,689 I'D NEVER KNOWN BEFORE. AND IN LESS THAN 20 MINUTES, I WAS IN THERE LIKE I'D BEEN DOING 1531 00:54:09,713 --> 00:54:10,657 AND IN LESS THAN 20 MINUTES, I WAS IN THERE LIKE I'D BEEN DOING IT MY WHOLE LIFE. 1532 00:54:10,681 --> 00:54:11,424 WAS IN THERE LIKE I'D BEEN DOING IT MY WHOLE LIFE. [WHISTLES] 1533 00:54:11,448 --> 00:54:13,092 IT MY WHOLE LIFE. [WHISTLES] EXCEPT FOR A FEW OF DR. HILLER'S 1534 00:54:13,116 --> 00:54:14,528 [WHISTLES] EXCEPT FOR A FEW OF DR. HILLER'S UNNECESSARY WARNINGS, I WAS 1535 00:54:14,552 --> 00:54:15,996 EXCEPT FOR A FEW OF DR. HILLER'S UNNECESSARY WARNINGS, I WAS ACTUALLY HAVING A GOOD TIME. 1536 00:54:16,020 --> 00:54:17,096 UNNECESSARY WARNINGS, I WAS ACTUALLY HAVING A GOOD TIME. [MACHINERY WHIRRS] 1537 00:54:17,120 --> 00:54:18,832 ACTUALLY HAVING A GOOD TIME. [MACHINERY WHIRRS] CAREFUL. 1538 00:54:18,856 --> 00:54:19,566 [MACHINERY WHIRRS] CAREFUL. WATCH OUT! WATCH OUT! 1539 00:54:19,590 --> 00:54:20,534 CAREFUL. WATCH OUT! WATCH OUT! I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING. 1540 00:54:20,558 --> 00:54:21,134 WATCH OUT! WATCH OUT! I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING. WATCH OUT! 1541 00:54:21,158 --> 00:54:21,968 I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING. WATCH OUT! "WATCH OUT!" WHAT? 1542 00:54:21,992 --> 00:54:22,869 WATCH OUT! "WATCH OUT!" WHAT? YOU'LL CUT THE AORTA. 1543 00:54:22,893 --> 00:54:24,303 "WATCH OUT!" WHAT? YOU'LL CUT THE AORTA. I'M NOT GONNA CUT THE AORTA. 1544 00:54:24,327 --> 00:54:24,971 YOU'LL CUT THE AORTA. I'M NOT GONNA CUT THE AORTA. [SIGHS] 1545 00:54:24,995 --> 00:54:25,605 I'M NOT GONNA CUT THE AORTA. [SIGHS] BE CAREFUL. 1546 00:54:25,629 --> 00:54:26,907 [SIGHS] BE CAREFUL. TAKE IT... TAKE IT EASY, DOC. 1547 00:54:26,931 --> 00:54:27,807 BE CAREFUL. TAKE IT... TAKE IT EASY, DOC. JUST TAKE IT EASY. 1548 00:54:27,831 --> 00:54:28,909 TAKE IT... TAKE IT EASY, DOC. JUST TAKE IT EASY. LOOK, I'M ALL RIGHT. 1549 00:54:28,933 --> 00:54:29,910 JUST TAKE IT EASY. LOOK, I'M ALL RIGHT. WATCH OUT FOR THAT RIGHT 1550 00:54:29,934 --> 00:54:31,210 LOOK, I'M ALL RIGHT. WATCH OUT FOR THAT RIGHT ATRIAL APPENDAGE. 1551 00:54:31,234 --> 00:54:32,579 WATCH OUT FOR THAT RIGHT ATRIAL APPENDAGE. DON'T GIVE ME THESE BIG 1552 00:54:32,603 --> 00:54:33,346 ATRIAL APPENDAGE. DON'T GIVE ME THESE BIG WORDS, OKAY? 1553 00:54:33,370 --> 00:54:34,981 DON'T GIVE ME THESE BIG WORDS, OKAY? LOOK, YOU'RE MAKING ME ANGRY! 1554 00:54:35,005 --> 00:54:36,449 WORDS, OKAY? LOOK, YOU'RE MAKING ME ANGRY! MAKING YOU ANGRY?! 1555 00:54:36,473 --> 00:54:37,150 LOOK, YOU'RE MAKING ME ANGRY! MAKING YOU ANGRY?! YES! 1556 00:54:37,174 --> 00:54:38,919 MAKING YOU ANGRY?! YES! I'M MAKING YOU ANGRY?! 1557 00:54:38,943 --> 00:54:40,754 YES! I'M MAKING YOU ANGRY?! WELL, IT FINALLY HAPPENED. 1558 00:54:40,778 --> 00:54:42,589 I'M MAKING YOU ANGRY?! WELL, IT FINALLY HAPPENED. THE ARGUMENT THAT HAD BEEN 1559 00:54:42,613 --> 00:54:44,524 WELL, IT FINALLY HAPPENED. THE ARGUMENT THAT HAD BEEN BREWING ALL DAY BROKE LOOSE. 1560 00:54:44,548 --> 00:54:46,793 THE ARGUMENT THAT HAD BEEN BREWING ALL DAY BROKE LOOSE. THIS MAN DID NOT KNOW HIS PLACE. 1561 00:54:46,817 --> 00:54:49,029 BREWING ALL DAY BROKE LOOSE. THIS MAN DID NOT KNOW HIS PLACE. I, HOWEVER, KNEW WE HAD A JOB TO 1562 00:54:49,053 --> 00:54:50,997 THIS MAN DID NOT KNOW HIS PLACE. I, HOWEVER, KNEW WE HAD A JOB TO DO AND DID MY BEST TO PATCH 1563 00:54:51,021 --> 00:54:51,831 I, HOWEVER, KNEW WE HAD A JOB TO DO AND DID MY BEST TO PATCH THINGS UP. 1564 00:54:51,855 --> 00:54:52,465 DO AND DID MY BEST TO PATCH THINGS UP. WHO HIRED YOU? 1565 00:54:52,489 --> 00:54:53,033 THINGS UP. WHO HIRED YOU? YOU DID. 1566 00:54:53,057 --> 00:54:54,000 WHO HIRED YOU? YOU DID. WHO'S PAYING FOR THIS? 1567 00:54:54,024 --> 00:54:54,568 YOU DID. WHO'S PAYING FOR THIS? YOU DID. 1568 00:54:54,592 --> 00:54:55,435 WHO'S PAYING FOR THIS? YOU DID. WHO TOOK OUT THE AD? 1569 00:54:55,459 --> 00:54:56,036 YOU DID. WHO TOOK OUT THE AD? YOU DID. 1570 00:54:56,060 --> 00:54:57,103 WHO TOOK OUT THE AD? YOU DID. OKAY. DO YOU WANT TO GO BACK 1571 00:54:57,127 --> 00:54:57,804 YOU DID. OKAY. DO YOU WANT TO GO BACK TO WHERE YOU LIVE? 1572 00:54:57,828 --> 00:54:58,838 OKAY. DO YOU WANT TO GO BACK TO WHERE YOU LIVE? YOU WANT TO GO BACK TO EUROPE, 1573 00:54:58,862 --> 00:54:59,272 TO WHERE YOU LIVE? YOU WANT TO GO BACK TO EUROPE, HUH? 1574 00:54:59,296 --> 00:55:00,373 YOU WANT TO GO BACK TO EUROPE, HUH? NO, YOU'RE IN CHARGE. 1575 00:55:00,397 --> 00:55:01,374 HUH? NO, YOU'RE IN CHARGE. "DR. I CAN'T WORK IN THIS 1576 00:55:01,398 --> 00:55:01,908 NO, YOU'RE IN CHARGE. "DR. I CAN'T WORK IN THIS COUNTRY." 1577 00:55:01,932 --> 00:55:02,776 "DR. I CAN'T WORK IN THIS COUNTRY." I WILL ASSIST YOU, 1578 00:55:02,800 --> 00:55:03,342 COUNTRY." I WILL ASSIST YOU, MR. BROOKS. 1579 00:55:03,366 --> 00:55:04,343 I WILL ASSIST YOU, MR. BROOKS. YEAH, I'M SURE YOU WILL. 1580 00:55:04,367 --> 00:55:04,911 MR. BROOKS. YEAH, I'M SURE YOU WILL. HEMOSTAT. 1581 00:55:04,935 --> 00:55:06,012 YEAH, I'M SURE YOU WILL. HEMOSTAT. LOOK, I DON'T WANT TO FIGHT 1582 00:55:06,036 --> 00:55:06,546 HEMOSTAT. LOOK, I DON'T WANT TO FIGHT WITH YOU. 1583 00:55:06,570 --> 00:55:07,614 LOOK, I DON'T WANT TO FIGHT WITH YOU. I DON'T WANT TO FIGHT WITH YOU. 1584 00:55:07,638 --> 00:55:08,181 WITH YOU. I DON'T WANT TO FIGHT WITH YOU. SPONGE. 1585 00:55:08,205 --> 00:55:09,282 I DON'T WANT TO FIGHT WITH YOU. SPONGE. LOOK, LOOK, LOOK. 1586 00:55:09,306 --> 00:55:10,750 SPONGE. LOOK, LOOK, LOOK. LET ME JUST ASK YOU ONE THING... 1587 00:55:10,774 --> 00:55:11,985 LOOK, LOOK, LOOK. LET ME JUST ASK YOU ONE THING... HAVE I DONE A TERRIBLE JOB SO 1588 00:55:12,009 --> 00:55:12,452 LET ME JUST ASK YOU ONE THING... HAVE I DONE A TERRIBLE JOB SO FAR? 1589 00:55:12,476 --> 00:55:14,588 HAVE I DONE A TERRIBLE JOB SO FAR? WELL, NO, NOT REALLY. 1590 00:55:14,612 --> 00:55:15,789 FAR? WELL, NO, NOT REALLY. GIVE ME ANOTHER HEMOSTAT 1591 00:55:15,813 --> 00:55:16,255 WELL, NO, NOT REALLY. GIVE ME ANOTHER HEMOSTAT HERE. 1592 00:55:16,279 --> 00:55:17,691 GIVE ME ANOTHER HEMOSTAT HERE. IS THE VENA CAVA CANNULATED? 1593 00:55:17,715 --> 00:55:18,191 HERE. IS THE VENA CAVA CANNULATED? YES. 1594 00:55:18,215 --> 00:55:19,358 IS THE VENA CAVA CANNULATED? YES. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? 1595 00:55:19,382 --> 00:55:20,860 YES. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? IT MEANS HE'S DOING FINE AND 1596 00:55:20,884 --> 00:55:22,028 WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? IT MEANS HE'S DOING FINE AND READY TO DO THE BYPASS. 1597 00:55:22,052 --> 00:55:22,829 IT MEANS HE'S DOING FINE AND READY TO DO THE BYPASS. OKAY. OKAY. 1598 00:55:22,853 --> 00:55:23,797 READY TO DO THE BYPASS. OKAY. OKAY. JUST BE CAREFUL. 1599 00:55:23,821 --> 00:55:24,297 OKAY. OKAY. JUST BE CAREFUL. OKAY. 1600 00:55:24,321 --> 00:55:24,831 JUST BE CAREFUL. OKAY. OKAY. 1601 00:55:24,855 --> 00:55:25,966 OKAY. OKAY. OKAY. LET'S CONNECT THE 1602 00:55:25,990 --> 00:55:26,833 OKAY. OKAY. LET'S CONNECT THE HEART-LUNG MACHINE. 1603 00:55:26,857 --> 00:55:27,467 OKAY. LET'S CONNECT THE HEART-LUNG MACHINE. LET'S DO IT. 1604 00:55:27,491 --> 00:55:28,802 HEART-LUNG MACHINE. LET'S DO IT. YOU DIDN'T PULL THE VEIN YET. 1605 00:55:28,826 --> 00:55:29,903 LET'S DO IT. YOU DIDN'T PULL THE VEIN YET. THE WHAT? 1606 00:55:29,927 --> 00:55:32,138 YOU DIDN'T PULL THE VEIN YET. THE WHAT? THE SAPHENOUS VEIN FROM THE 1607 00:55:32,162 --> 00:55:33,372 THE WHAT? THE SAPHENOUS VEIN FROM THE LEG, REMEMBER? 1608 00:55:33,396 --> 00:55:34,407 THE SAPHENOUS VEIN FROM THE LEG, REMEMBER? WHAT WERE YOU GOING TO USE FOR 1609 00:55:34,431 --> 00:55:36,442 LEG, REMEMBER? WHAT WERE YOU GOING TO USE FOR THE BYPASS, HMM? 1610 00:55:36,466 --> 00:55:37,110 WHAT WERE YOU GOING TO USE FOR THE BYPASS, HMM? NEVER MIND. 1611 00:55:37,134 --> 00:55:37,911 THE BYPASS, HMM? NEVER MIND. IT'S ALL RIGHT. 1612 00:55:37,935 --> 00:55:39,345 NEVER MIND. IT'S ALL RIGHT. I HAD LESTER AND STEVENS DO IT 1613 00:55:39,369 --> 00:55:40,680 IT'S ALL RIGHT. I HAD LESTER AND STEVENS DO IT WHILE YOU WERE WORKING ON THE 1614 00:55:40,704 --> 00:55:41,180 I HAD LESTER AND STEVENS DO IT WHILE YOU WERE WORKING ON THE CHEST. 1615 00:55:41,204 --> 00:55:42,148 WHILE YOU WERE WORKING ON THE CHEST. CLAMP. 1616 00:55:42,172 --> 00:55:43,683 CHEST. CLAMP. YOU WHAT?! 1617 00:55:43,707 --> 00:55:45,018 CLAMP. YOU WHAT?! MM-HMM. 1618 00:55:45,042 --> 00:55:46,019 YOU WHAT?! MM-HMM. YOU FOOL! 1619 00:55:46,043 --> 00:55:47,253 MM-HMM. YOU FOOL! YOU STUPID FOOL! 1620 00:55:47,277 --> 00:55:48,989 YOU FOOL! YOU STUPID FOOL! YOU OPENED THAT MAN'S LEG 1621 00:55:49,013 --> 00:55:50,456 YOU STUPID FOOL! YOU OPENED THAT MAN'S LEG WITHOUT TELLING ME?! 1622 00:55:50,480 --> 00:55:52,158 YOU OPENED THAT MAN'S LEG WITHOUT TELLING ME?! I HAD A WAY OF SAVING THAT 1623 00:55:52,182 --> 00:55:53,760 WITHOUT TELLING ME?! I HAD A WAY OF SAVING THAT 80-YEAR-OLD MAN FROM LEG 1624 00:55:53,784 --> 00:55:54,494 I HAD A WAY OF SAVING THAT 80-YEAR-OLD MAN FROM LEG SURGERY! 1625 00:55:54,518 --> 00:55:55,261 80-YEAR-OLD MAN FROM LEG SURGERY! YOU FOOL! 1626 00:55:55,285 --> 00:55:56,796 SURGERY! YOU FOOL! LOOK... A SYNTHETIC MIRACLE 1627 00:55:56,820 --> 00:55:57,263 YOU FOOL! LOOK... A SYNTHETIC MIRACLE VEIN! 1628 00:55:57,287 --> 00:55:58,999 LOOK... A SYNTHETIC MIRACLE VEIN! WE DIDN'T HAVE TO OPEN HIS LEG! 1629 00:55:59,023 --> 00:56:01,367 VEIN! WE DIDN'T HAVE TO OPEN HIS LEG! [LAUGHTER] 1630 00:56:01,391 --> 00:56:03,236 WE DIDN'T HAVE TO OPEN HIS LEG! [LAUGHTER] WELL, AS ANY FIRST-YEAR MEDICAL 1631 00:56:03,260 --> 00:56:05,105 [LAUGHTER] WELL, AS ANY FIRST-YEAR MEDICAL STUDENT KNOWS, I WAS THE VICTIM 1632 00:56:05,129 --> 00:56:06,773 WELL, AS ANY FIRST-YEAR MEDICAL STUDENT KNOWS, I WAS THE VICTIM OF THE OLD FAKE-VEIN TRICK. 1633 00:56:06,797 --> 00:56:08,608 STUDENT KNOWS, I WAS THE VICTIM OF THE OLD FAKE-VEIN TRICK. TWO INTERNS SOLD ME A PIECE OF 1634 00:56:08,632 --> 00:56:10,543 OF THE OLD FAKE-VEIN TRICK. TWO INTERNS SOLD ME A PIECE OF RUBBER TUBING AND TOLD ME IT WAS 1635 00:56:10,567 --> 00:56:11,845 TWO INTERNS SOLD ME A PIECE OF RUBBER TUBING AND TOLD ME IT WAS A SYNTHETIC MIRACLE. 1636 00:56:11,869 --> 00:56:14,280 RUBBER TUBING AND TOLD ME IT WAS A SYNTHETIC MIRACLE. BUT I MUST ADMIT, IT BROKE THE 1637 00:56:14,304 --> 00:56:15,181 A SYNTHETIC MIRACLE. BUT I MUST ADMIT, IT BROKE THE TENSION. 1638 00:56:15,205 --> 00:56:17,817 BUT I MUST ADMIT, IT BROKE THE TENSION. YOU STUPID JERK. 1639 00:56:17,841 --> 00:56:19,786 TENSION. YOU STUPID JERK. AND FOR THE FIRST TIME THAT 1640 00:56:19,810 --> 00:56:21,855 YOU STUPID JERK. AND FOR THE FIRST TIME THAT DAY, WE BEGAN WORKING AS A TEAM. 1641 00:56:21,879 --> 00:56:22,922 AND FOR THE FIRST TIME THAT DAY, WE BEGAN WORKING AS A TEAM. [LAUGHTER] 1642 00:56:22,946 --> 00:56:24,190 DAY, WE BEGAN WORKING AS A TEAM. [LAUGHTER] THE HEART-LUNG MACHINE WAS 1643 00:56:24,214 --> 00:56:24,824 [LAUGHTER] THE HEART-LUNG MACHINE WAS CONNECTED. 1644 00:56:24,848 --> 00:56:26,359 THE HEART-LUNG MACHINE WAS CONNECTED. CLAMP. 1645 00:56:26,383 --> 00:56:27,627 CONNECTED. CLAMP. SHOULD WE START? 1646 00:56:27,651 --> 00:56:29,562 CLAMP. SHOULD WE START? THINGS PROCEEDED SMOOTHLY FOR 1647 00:56:29,586 --> 00:56:32,899 SHOULD WE START? THINGS PROCEEDED SMOOTHLY FOR THE NEXT HOUR... 1648 00:56:32,923 --> 00:56:34,534 THINGS PROCEEDED SMOOTHLY FOR THE NEXT HOUR... SO SMOOTHLY, IN FACT, THAT WHEN 1649 00:56:34,558 --> 00:56:36,202 THE NEXT HOUR... SO SMOOTHLY, IN FACT, THAT WHEN I NOTICED MRS. PORTER'S FACE AT 1650 00:56:36,226 --> 00:56:37,570 SO SMOOTHLY, IN FACT, THAT WHEN I NOTICED MRS. PORTER'S FACE AT THE DOOR, I THOUGHT SHE'D 1651 00:56:37,594 --> 00:56:39,072 I NOTICED MRS. PORTER'S FACE AT THE DOOR, I THOUGHT SHE'D POSSIBLY LIKE TO COME IN AND 1652 00:56:39,096 --> 00:56:40,140 THE DOOR, I THOUGHT SHE'D POSSIBLY LIKE TO COME IN AND TAKE A PEEK. 1653 00:56:40,164 --> 00:56:41,007 POSSIBLY LIKE TO COME IN AND TAKE A PEEK. HI. HOW YOU DOING? 1654 00:56:41,031 --> 00:56:41,741 TAKE A PEEK. HI. HOW YOU DOING? HI, ALBERT. 1655 00:56:41,765 --> 00:56:42,542 HI. HOW YOU DOING? HI, ALBERT. HOW YOU FEELING? 1656 00:56:42,566 --> 00:56:43,843 HI, ALBERT. HOW YOU FEELING? OH, MY THROAT STILL HURTS. 1657 00:56:43,867 --> 00:56:44,878 HOW YOU FEELING? OH, MY THROAT STILL HURTS. STILL HURTING, HUH? 1658 00:56:44,902 --> 00:56:46,579 OH, MY THROAT STILL HURTS. STILL HURTING, HUH? CAN'T BEAR YOU TO SEE ME LOOKING 1659 00:56:46,603 --> 00:56:48,214 STILL HURTING, HUH? CAN'T BEAR YOU TO SEE ME LOOKING LIKE THIS, BUT THEY MADE ME PUT 1660 00:56:48,238 --> 00:56:49,415 CAN'T BEAR YOU TO SEE ME LOOKING LIKE THIS, BUT THEY MADE ME PUT THIS STERILE GOWN ON. 1661 00:56:49,439 --> 00:56:50,616 LIKE THIS, BUT THEY MADE ME PUT THIS STERILE GOWN ON. OH, NO, IT'S FINE. 1662 00:56:50,640 --> 00:56:52,285 THIS STERILE GOWN ON. OH, NO, IT'S FINE. REAL DOCTORS DON'T LIKE TO HAVE 1663 00:56:52,309 --> 00:56:53,619 OH, NO, IT'S FINE. REAL DOCTORS DON'T LIKE TO HAVE RELATIVES COME IN DURING 1664 00:56:53,643 --> 00:56:55,121 REAL DOCTORS DON'T LIKE TO HAVE RELATIVES COME IN DURING SURGERY, BUT I THOUGHT SHE'D 1665 00:56:55,145 --> 00:56:57,090 RELATIVES COME IN DURING SURGERY, BUT I THOUGHT SHE'D ENJOY TAKING A LOOK. 1666 00:56:57,114 --> 00:56:58,324 SURGERY, BUT I THOUGHT SHE'D ENJOY TAKING A LOOK. OH, WHAT ARE THEY DOING? 1667 00:56:58,348 --> 00:56:59,693 ENJOY TAKING A LOOK. OH, WHAT ARE THEY DOING? OH, WELL, RIGHT NOW, I THINK 1668 00:56:59,717 --> 00:57:00,860 OH, WHAT ARE THEY DOING? OH, WELL, RIGHT NOW, I THINK THAT'S THE AORTA THERE... 1669 00:57:00,884 --> 00:57:02,028 OH, WELL, RIGHT NOW, I THINK THAT'S THE AORTA THERE... THEY'RE PUTTING THE VEINS IN 1670 00:57:02,052 --> 00:57:02,528 THAT'S THE AORTA THERE... THEY'RE PUTTING THE VEINS IN THAT. 1671 00:57:02,552 --> 00:57:03,830 THEY'RE PUTTING THE VEINS IN THAT. AND WHAT'S THIS OVER HERE? 1672 00:57:03,854 --> 00:57:05,131 THAT. AND WHAT'S THIS OVER HERE? OH, I GUESS IT'S THE LUNG. 1673 00:57:05,155 --> 00:57:06,199 AND WHAT'S THIS OVER HERE? OH, I GUESS IT'S THE LUNG. IT LOOKS LIKE THE LUNG. 1674 00:57:06,223 --> 00:57:07,100 OH, I GUESS IT'S THE LUNG. IT LOOKS LIKE THE LUNG. AND DOWN THERE? 1675 00:57:07,124 --> 00:57:08,001 IT LOOKS LIKE THE LUNG. AND DOWN THERE? I DON'T KNOW. 1676 00:57:08,025 --> 00:57:08,835 AND DOWN THERE? I DON'T KNOW. I CAN'T SEE IT. 1677 00:57:08,859 --> 00:57:10,103 I DON'T KNOW. I CAN'T SEE IT. MRS. PORTER HAD A NATURAL 1678 00:57:10,127 --> 00:57:11,871 I CAN'T SEE IT. MRS. PORTER HAD A NATURAL CURIOSITY. 1679 00:57:11,895 --> 00:57:12,972 MRS. PORTER HAD A NATURAL CURIOSITY. AND HOW ABOUT RIGHT OVER 1680 00:57:12,996 --> 00:57:13,472 CURIOSITY. AND HOW ABOUT RIGHT OVER HERE? 1681 00:57:13,496 --> 00:57:14,674 AND HOW ABOUT RIGHT OVER HERE? ALL RIGHT, I THINK IT'S THE 1682 00:57:14,698 --> 00:57:15,274 HERE? ALL RIGHT, I THINK IT'S THE OTHER LUNG. 1683 00:57:15,298 --> 00:57:16,442 ALL RIGHT, I THINK IT'S THE OTHER LUNG. OH. WHERE WOULD THAT BE ON 1684 00:57:16,466 --> 00:57:16,876 OTHER LUNG. OH. WHERE WOULD THAT BE ON ME? 1685 00:57:16,900 --> 00:57:18,044 OH. WHERE WOULD THAT BE ON ME? I THINK IT WOULD BE THE SAME 1686 00:57:18,068 --> 00:57:18,544 ME? I THINK IT WOULD BE THE SAME ON YOU. 1687 00:57:18,568 --> 00:57:19,378 I THINK IT WOULD BE THE SAME ON YOU. SAME OVER HERE? 1688 00:57:19,402 --> 00:57:20,080 ON YOU. SAME OVER HERE? YEAH, SAME. 1689 00:57:20,104 --> 00:57:21,081 SAME OVER HERE? YEAH, SAME. TIE THAT BLEEDER. 1690 00:57:21,105 --> 00:57:22,348 YEAH, SAME. TIE THAT BLEEDER. OKAY, I JUST THOUGHT YOU 1691 00:57:22,372 --> 00:57:23,717 TIE THAT BLEEDER. OKAY, I JUST THOUGHT YOU WANTED TO TAKE A LITTLE PEEK. 1692 00:57:23,741 --> 00:57:24,584 OKAY, I JUST THOUGHT YOU WANTED TO TAKE A LITTLE PEEK. I SHOWED HER OUT. 1693 00:57:24,608 --> 00:57:25,651 WANTED TO TAKE A LITTLE PEEK. I SHOWED HER OUT. YOU KNOW, RALPH LOOKS PRETTY 1694 00:57:25,675 --> 00:57:26,152 I SHOWED HER OUT. YOU KNOW, RALPH LOOKS PRETTY GOOD. 1695 00:57:26,176 --> 00:57:27,020 YOU KNOW, RALPH LOOKS PRETTY GOOD. YEAH, I THINK SO. 1696 00:57:27,044 --> 00:57:28,254 GOOD. YEAH, I THINK SO. BY THE WAY, DID I TELL YOU I 1697 00:57:28,278 --> 00:57:29,355 YEAH, I THINK SO. BY THE WAY, DID I TELL YOU I HAVE A SON THAT DOES COMEDY? 1698 00:57:29,379 --> 00:57:30,456 BY THE WAY, DID I TELL YOU I HAVE A SON THAT DOES COMEDY? YEAH, WE'LL TALK ABOUT IT 1699 00:57:30,480 --> 00:57:31,024 HAVE A SON THAT DOES COMEDY? YEAH, WE'LL TALK ABOUT IT LATER, OKAY? 1700 00:57:31,048 --> 00:57:31,524 YEAH, WE'LL TALK ABOUT IT LATER, OKAY? OKAY. 1701 00:57:31,548 --> 00:57:33,760 LATER, OKAY? OKAY. SPONGE, PLEASE, AND A CLAMP. 1702 00:57:33,784 --> 00:57:35,294 OKAY. SPONGE, PLEASE, AND A CLAMP. WE WENT BACK TO WORK. 1703 00:57:35,318 --> 00:57:36,996 SPONGE, PLEASE, AND A CLAMP. WE WENT BACK TO WORK. THE NEXT 35 MINUTES, THINGS 1704 00:57:37,020 --> 00:57:38,865 WE WENT BACK TO WORK. THE NEXT 35 MINUTES, THINGS PROCEEDED AS SMOOTHLY AS COULD 1705 00:57:38,889 --> 00:57:40,466 THE NEXT 35 MINUTES, THINGS PROCEEDED AS SMOOTHLY AS COULD BE, AND THEN IT HAPPENED. 1706 00:57:40,490 --> 00:57:43,036 PROCEEDED AS SMOOTHLY AS COULD BE, AND THEN IT HAPPENED. AT 5:45, 3 HOURS AND 11 MINUTES 1707 00:57:43,060 --> 00:57:44,738 BE, AND THEN IT HAPPENED. AT 5:45, 3 HOURS AND 11 MINUTES INTO THE OPERATION, THE 1708 00:57:44,762 --> 00:57:46,940 AT 5:45, 3 HOURS AND 11 MINUTES INTO THE OPERATION, THE UNEXPECTED, UNWANTED EMERGENCY. 1709 00:57:46,964 --> 00:57:48,208 INTO THE OPERATION, THE UNEXPECTED, UNWANTED EMERGENCY. DR. PAT SUTER, THE 1710 00:57:48,232 --> 00:57:49,976 UNEXPECTED, UNWANTED EMERGENCY. DR. PAT SUTER, THE ANESTHESIOLOGIST, DIED OF AN 1711 00:57:50,000 --> 00:57:51,410 DR. PAT SUTER, THE ANESTHESIOLOGIST, DIED OF AN APPARENT HEART ATTACK. 1712 00:57:51,434 --> 00:57:53,046 ANESTHESIOLOGIST, DIED OF AN APPARENT HEART ATTACK. HE WAS OVERWEIGHT AND OUT OF 1713 00:57:53,070 --> 00:57:53,613 APPARENT HEART ATTACK. HE WAS OVERWEIGHT AND OUT OF SHAPE. 1714 00:57:53,637 --> 00:57:55,048 HE WAS OVERWEIGHT AND OUT OF SHAPE. STAND BACK, MRS. PORTER. 1715 00:57:55,072 --> 00:57:57,217 SHAPE. STAND BACK, MRS. PORTER. OH, MY GOD! RALPH! 1716 00:57:57,241 --> 00:57:58,251 STAND BACK, MRS. PORTER. OH, MY GOD! RALPH! NO, NO, NO. 1717 00:57:58,275 --> 00:57:59,786 OH, MY GOD! RALPH! NO, NO, NO. IT'S ONE OF THE DOCTORS. 1718 00:57:59,810 --> 00:58:00,987 NO, NO, NO. IT'S ONE OF THE DOCTORS. OH, THANK GOD! 1719 00:58:01,011 --> 00:58:01,955 IT'S ONE OF THE DOCTORS. OH, THANK GOD! I HAD NO IDEA OF HIS 1720 00:58:01,979 --> 00:58:03,022 OH, THANK GOD! I HAD NO IDEA OF HIS CONDITION WHEN I INTERVIEWED HIM 1721 00:58:03,046 --> 00:58:03,656 I HAD NO IDEA OF HIS CONDITION WHEN I INTERVIEWED HIM ON THE PHONE. 1722 00:58:03,680 --> 00:58:04,791 CONDITION WHEN I INTERVIEWED HIM ON THE PHONE. WE'RE GONNA NEED THAT LITTLE 1723 00:58:04,815 --> 00:58:06,893 ON THE PHONE. WE'RE GONNA NEED THAT LITTLE TABLE BACK LATER, OKAY? 1724 00:58:06,917 --> 00:58:08,762 WE'RE GONNA NEED THAT LITTLE TABLE BACK LATER, OKAY? WE WORKED ON WITHOUT HIM, BUT 1725 00:58:08,786 --> 00:58:10,630 TABLE BACK LATER, OKAY? WE WORKED ON WITHOUT HIM, BUT THEN MR. PORTER BEGAN COMING OUT 1726 00:58:10,654 --> 00:58:11,998 WE WORKED ON WITHOUT HIM, BUT THEN MR. PORTER BEGAN COMING OUT OF THE ANESTHETIC. 1727 00:58:12,022 --> 00:58:13,666 THEN MR. PORTER BEGAN COMING OUT OF THE ANESTHETIC. ♪ BUY ME SOME PEANUTS AND 1728 00:58:13,690 --> 00:58:15,468 OF THE ANESTHETIC. ♪ BUY ME SOME PEANUTS AND CRACKER JACK ♪ 1729 00:58:15,492 --> 00:58:18,437 ♪ BUY ME SOME PEANUTS AND CRACKER JACK ♪ ♪ TAKE ME OUT TO THE BALLGAME ♪ 1730 00:58:18,461 --> 00:58:19,239 CRACKER JACK ♪ ♪ TAKE ME OUT TO THE BALLGAME ♪ OHH. 1731 00:58:19,263 --> 00:58:20,473 ♪ TAKE ME OUT TO THE BALLGAME ♪ OHH. ♪ TAKE ME OUT WHERE THERE'S A 1732 00:58:20,497 --> 00:58:21,141 OHH. ♪ TAKE ME OUT WHERE THERE'S A CROWD ♪ 1733 00:58:21,165 --> 00:58:22,142 ♪ TAKE ME OUT WHERE THERE'S A CROWD ♪ WHAT'S GOING ON HERE? 1734 00:58:22,166 --> 00:58:23,243 CROWD ♪ WHAT'S GOING ON HERE? THE ANESTHETIC'S WORN OFF. 1735 00:58:23,267 --> 00:58:24,110 WHAT'S GOING ON HERE? THE ANESTHETIC'S WORN OFF. HE'S COMING OUT OF IT. 1736 00:58:24,134 --> 00:58:24,978 THE ANESTHETIC'S WORN OFF. HE'S COMING OUT OF IT. GIVE HIM SOME MORE! 1737 00:58:25,002 --> 00:58:26,045 HE'S COMING OUT OF IT. GIVE HIM SOME MORE! THERE'S NOBODY HERE WHO'S 1738 00:58:26,069 --> 00:58:26,880 GIVE HIM SOME MORE! THERE'S NOBODY HERE WHO'S QUALIFIED TO DO THAT. 1739 00:58:26,904 --> 00:58:28,081 THERE'S NOBODY HERE WHO'S QUALIFIED TO DO THAT. YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE ABLE TO 1740 00:58:28,105 --> 00:58:29,015 QUALIFIED TO DO THAT. YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE ABLE TO DO EVERYTHING IN SWEDEN! 1741 00:58:29,039 --> 00:58:30,116 YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE ABLE TO DO EVERYTHING IN SWEDEN! WELL, WE'RE NOT IN SWEDEN. 1742 00:58:30,140 --> 00:58:31,117 DO EVERYTHING IN SWEDEN! WELL, WE'RE NOT IN SWEDEN. WE CAN'T DO IT. COME ON. 1743 00:58:31,141 --> 00:58:32,018 WELL, WE'RE NOT IN SWEDEN. WE CAN'T DO IT. COME ON. THERE'S NOTHING TO DO. 1744 00:58:32,042 --> 00:58:32,986 WE CAN'T DO IT. COME ON. THERE'S NOTHING TO DO. IT'S A RACE AGAINST TIME. 1745 00:58:33,010 --> 00:58:33,686 THERE'S NOTHING TO DO. IT'S A RACE AGAINST TIME. JUST SEW HIM UP. 1746 00:58:33,710 --> 00:58:34,487 IT'S A RACE AGAINST TIME. JUST SEW HIM UP. JUST KEEP ON SEWING. 1747 00:58:34,511 --> 00:58:35,521 JUST SEW HIM UP. JUST KEEP ON SEWING. HOW AM I GONNA SEW HIM UP 1748 00:58:35,545 --> 00:58:36,589 JUST KEEP ON SEWING. HOW AM I GONNA SEW HIM UP WHEN HE'S SINGING "BUY ME SOME 1749 00:58:36,613 --> 00:58:37,556 HOW AM I GONNA SEW HIM UP WHEN HE'S SINGING "BUY ME SOME PEANUTS AND CRACKER JACK"?! 1750 00:58:37,580 --> 00:58:38,557 WHEN HE'S SINGING "BUY ME SOME PEANUTS AND CRACKER JACK"?! HE'S HAPPY. HE'S HAPPY. 1751 00:58:38,581 --> 00:58:39,192 PEANUTS AND CRACKER JACK"?! HE'S HAPPY. HE'S HAPPY. KEEP SEWING. 1752 00:58:39,216 --> 00:58:40,559 HE'S HAPPY. HE'S HAPPY. KEEP SEWING. OH, STOP WITH THE PEANUTS AND 1753 00:58:40,583 --> 00:58:41,261 KEEP SEWING. OH, STOP WITH THE PEANUTS AND CRACKER JACKS! 1754 00:58:41,285 --> 00:58:43,562 OH, STOP WITH THE PEANUTS AND CRACKER JACKS! THE LAST STITCH WAS SEWN IN AT 1755 00:58:43,586 --> 00:58:44,730 CRACKER JACKS! THE LAST STITCH WAS SEWN IN AT EXACTLY 6:52. 1756 00:58:44,754 --> 00:58:46,299 THE LAST STITCH WAS SEWN IN AT EXACTLY 6:52. AS WE WHEELED MR. PORTER OUT, HE 1757 00:58:46,323 --> 00:58:47,267 EXACTLY 6:52. AS WE WHEELED MR. PORTER OUT, HE CONTINUED TO SING. 1758 00:58:47,291 --> 00:58:50,203 AS WE WHEELED MR. PORTER OUT, HE CONTINUED TO SING. ♪ PEANUTS AND CRACKER JACK ♪ 1759 00:58:50,227 --> 00:58:51,504 CONTINUED TO SING. ♪ PEANUTS AND CRACKER JACK ♪ ♪ PEANUTS AND CRACKER JACK ♪ 1760 00:58:51,528 --> 00:58:53,239 ♪ PEANUTS AND CRACKER JACK ♪ ♪ PEANUTS AND CRACKER JACK ♪ HONEY, YOU DON'T WANT TO EAT. 1761 00:58:53,263 --> 00:58:54,440 ♪ PEANUTS AND CRACKER JACK ♪ HONEY, YOU DON'T WANT TO EAT. YOU JUST HAD SURGERY. 1762 00:58:54,464 --> 00:58:55,875 HONEY, YOU DON'T WANT TO EAT. YOU JUST HAD SURGERY. NO, NO, HE'S DELIRIOUS. 1763 00:58:55,899 --> 00:58:57,510 YOU JUST HAD SURGERY. NO, NO, HE'S DELIRIOUS. OH. 1764 00:58:57,534 --> 00:58:59,112 NO, NO, HE'S DELIRIOUS. OH. HERE. 1765 00:58:59,136 --> 00:59:00,613 OH. HERE. HE CONTINUED SINGING "PEANUTS 1766 00:59:00,637 --> 00:59:02,081 HERE. HE CONTINUED SINGING "PEANUTS AND CRACKER JACKS" AS HE WAS 1767 00:59:02,105 --> 00:59:04,750 HE CONTINUED SINGING "PEANUTS AND CRACKER JACKS" AS HE WAS WHEELED INTO INTENSIVE CARE. 1768 00:59:04,774 --> 00:59:05,919 AND CRACKER JACKS" AS HE WAS WHEELED INTO INTENSIVE CARE. ♪ PEANUTS AND CRACKER JACK ♪ 1769 00:59:05,943 --> 00:59:06,853 WHEELED INTO INTENSIVE CARE. ♪ PEANUTS AND CRACKER JACK ♪ I WANTED TO STOP WITH 1770 00:59:06,877 --> 00:59:07,887 ♪ PEANUTS AND CRACKER JACK ♪ I WANTED TO STOP WITH DR. HILLER FOR A MOMENT AND 1771 00:59:07,911 --> 00:59:08,855 I WANTED TO STOP WITH DR. HILLER FOR A MOMENT AND PATCH THINGS UP. 1772 00:59:08,879 --> 00:59:10,489 DR. HILLER FOR A MOMENT AND PATCH THINGS UP. I KNEW I'D NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN, 1773 00:59:10,513 --> 00:59:12,091 PATCH THINGS UP. I KNEW I'D NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN, AND I WANTED HIM TO KNOW THAT, 1774 00:59:12,115 --> 00:59:13,492 I KNEW I'D NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN, AND I WANTED HIM TO KNOW THAT, AS FAR AS I WAS CONCERNED, 1775 00:59:13,516 --> 00:59:14,861 AND I WANTED HIM TO KNOW THAT, AS FAR AS I WAS CONCERNED, EVERYTHING WAS ALL RIGHT. 1776 00:59:14,885 --> 00:59:16,495 AS FAR AS I WAS CONCERNED, EVERYTHING WAS ALL RIGHT. MM-HMM. WELL, WE HAD A 1777 00:59:16,519 --> 00:59:17,997 EVERYTHING WAS ALL RIGHT. MM-HMM. WELL, WE HAD A FINANCIAL ARRANGEMENT. 1778 00:59:18,021 --> 00:59:19,665 MM-HMM. WELL, WE HAD A FINANCIAL ARRANGEMENT. RIGHT. I HAVE THE CASH HERE. 1779 00:59:19,689 --> 00:59:21,567 FINANCIAL ARRANGEMENT. RIGHT. I HAVE THE CASH HERE. THIS IS PAYABLE ON THE CLOSING 1780 00:59:21,591 --> 00:59:23,369 RIGHT. I HAVE THE CASH HERE. THIS IS PAYABLE ON THE CLOSING STITCH, AND THEN IF HE'S ALL 1781 00:59:23,393 --> 00:59:25,271 THIS IS PAYABLE ON THE CLOSING STITCH, AND THEN IF HE'S ALL RIGHT... MR. PORTER'S OKAY, THE 1782 00:59:25,295 --> 00:59:26,039 STITCH, AND THEN IF HE'S ALL RIGHT... MR. PORTER'S OKAY, THE REST. 1783 00:59:26,063 --> 00:59:27,140 RIGHT... MR. PORTER'S OKAY, THE REST. LET'S HOPE HE LIVES. 1784 00:59:27,164 --> 00:59:28,641 REST. LET'S HOPE HE LIVES. [Chuckling] RIGHT. 1785 00:59:28,665 --> 00:59:30,944 LET'S HOPE HE LIVES. [Chuckling] RIGHT. [JET ENGINE ROARS] 1786 00:59:30,968 --> 00:59:33,612 [Chuckling] RIGHT. [JET ENGINE ROARS] MR. PORTER... HE LIVED. 1787 00:59:33,636 --> 00:59:35,548 [JET ENGINE ROARS] MR. PORTER... HE LIVED. AS A MATTER OF FACT, HE WAS BACK 1788 00:59:35,572 --> 00:59:37,250 MR. PORTER... HE LIVED. AS A MATTER OF FACT, HE WAS BACK ON HIS JOB IN LESS THAN SIX 1789 00:59:37,274 --> 00:59:39,052 AS A MATTER OF FACT, HE WAS BACK ON HIS JOB IN LESS THAN SIX WEEKS' TIME. 1790 00:59:39,076 --> 00:59:41,054 ON HIS JOB IN LESS THAN SIX WEEKS' TIME. MR. PORTER, SIR, HOW ARE YOU 1791 00:59:41,078 --> 00:59:42,822 WEEKS' TIME. MR. PORTER, SIR, HOW ARE YOU FEELING? 1792 00:59:42,846 --> 00:59:44,958 MR. PORTER, SIR, HOW ARE YOU FEELING? GOOD. HOW'S YOUR WIFE? 1793 00:59:44,982 --> 00:59:46,292 FEELING? GOOD. HOW'S YOUR WIFE? GOOD, SIR. 1794 00:59:46,316 --> 00:59:48,427 GOOD. HOW'S YOUR WIFE? GOOD, SIR. AND GOOD LUCK IN THE FUTURE. 1795 00:59:48,451 --> 00:59:50,663 GOOD, SIR. AND GOOD LUCK IN THE FUTURE. AND THANK YOU, MR. PORTER, FOR 1796 00:59:50,687 --> 00:59:57,904 AND GOOD LUCK IN THE FUTURE. AND THANK YOU, MR. PORTER, FOR AN EXPERIENCE I'LL NEVER FORGET. 1797 00:59:57,928 --> 01:00:01,248 AND THANK YOU, MR. PORTER, FOR AN EXPERIENCE I'LL NEVER FORGET. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 1798 01:00:09,772 --> 01:00:14,320 DARLING, IT'S GETTING LATE. I BETTER GET BACK. TED WILL BE WONDERING WHERE I 1799 01:00:14,344 --> 01:00:14,821 I BETTER GET BACK. TED WILL BE WONDERING WHERE I AM. 1800 01:00:14,845 --> 01:00:16,188 TED WILL BE WONDERING WHERE I AM. OH, TED, TED, TED. 1801 01:00:16,212 --> 01:00:17,657 AM. OH, TED, TED, TED. IT'S ALWAYS TED. 1802 01:00:17,681 --> 01:00:19,358 OH, TED, TED, TED. IT'S ALWAYS TED. WHAT ABOUT MY FEELINGS? 1803 01:00:19,382 --> 01:00:20,793 IT'S ALWAYS TED. WHAT ABOUT MY FEELINGS? HE'S MY HUSBAND. 1804 01:00:20,817 --> 01:00:21,460 WHAT ABOUT MY FEELINGS? HE'S MY HUSBAND. [SCOFFS] 1805 01:00:21,484 --> 01:00:22,829 HE'S MY HUSBAND. [SCOFFS] HE'S YOUR HUSBAND IN NAME ONLY. 1806 01:00:22,853 --> 01:00:24,230 [SCOFFS] HE'S YOUR HUSBAND IN NAME ONLY. YOU KNOW IT, AND I KNOW IT! 1807 01:00:24,254 --> 01:00:25,732 HE'S YOUR HUSBAND IN NAME ONLY. YOU KNOW IT, AND I KNOW IT! CAN'T WE DISCUSS THIS LIKE 1808 01:00:25,756 --> 01:00:26,265 YOU KNOW IT, AND I KNOW IT! CAN'T WE DISCUSS THIS LIKE ADULTS? 1809 01:00:26,289 --> 01:00:27,566 CAN'T WE DISCUSS THIS LIKE ADULTS? OH, YOU MEAN LIKE YOUR 1810 01:00:27,590 --> 01:00:29,135 ADULTS? OH, YOU MEAN LIKE YOUR PARENTS, WHO SPENT THEIR ENTIRE 1811 01:00:29,159 --> 01:00:30,336 OH, YOU MEAN LIKE YOUR PARENTS, WHO SPENT THEIR ENTIRE MARRIED LIFE LIVING AS 1812 01:00:30,360 --> 01:00:31,170 PARENTS, WHO SPENT THEIR ENTIRE MARRIED LIFE LIVING AS STRANGERS? 1813 01:00:31,194 --> 01:00:32,972 MARRIED LIFE LIVING AS STRANGERS? YOU SOUND LIKE MY BROTHER 1814 01:00:32,996 --> 01:00:33,472 STRANGERS? YOU SOUND LIKE MY BROTHER MARK. 1815 01:00:33,496 --> 01:00:34,707 YOU SOUND LIKE MY BROTHER MARK. MARK, MARK, MARK. 1816 01:00:34,731 --> 01:00:35,808 MARK. MARK, MARK, MARK. IT'S ALWAYS MARK. 1817 01:00:35,832 --> 01:00:38,878 MARK, MARK, MARK. IT'S ALWAYS MARK. WHAT ABOUT MY FEELINGS? 1818 01:00:38,902 --> 01:00:40,079 IT'S ALWAYS MARK. WHAT ABOUT MY FEELINGS? HONEY, YOU KNEW WHEN WE 1819 01:00:40,103 --> 01:00:42,749 WHAT ABOUT MY FEELINGS? HONEY, YOU KNEW WHEN WE STARTED THIS COULD NEVER LAST. 1820 01:00:42,773 --> 01:00:44,283 HONEY, YOU KNEW WHEN WE STARTED THIS COULD NEVER LAST. WE BOTH KNEW IT. 1821 01:00:44,307 --> 01:00:46,052 STARTED THIS COULD NEVER LAST. WE BOTH KNEW IT. OH, DARLING, MARRY ME. 1822 01:00:46,076 --> 01:00:46,953 WE BOTH KNEW IT. OH, DARLING, MARRY ME. SAY YES. 1823 01:00:46,977 --> 01:00:48,921 OH, DARLING, MARRY ME. SAY YES. OH, PLEASE, PLEASE, DON'T 1824 01:00:48,945 --> 01:00:49,856 SAY YES. OH, PLEASE, PLEASE, DON'T TORTURE ME! 1825 01:00:49,880 --> 01:00:52,191 OH, PLEASE, PLEASE, DON'T TORTURE ME! YOU COULD NEVER LEAVE THE KIDS. 1826 01:00:52,215 --> 01:00:55,528 TORTURE ME! YOU COULD NEVER LEAVE THE KIDS. AND JOYCE... JOYCE WOULD DIE. 1827 01:00:55,552 --> 01:00:56,963 YOU COULD NEVER LEAVE THE KIDS. AND JOYCE... JOYCE WOULD DIE. JOYCE, JOYCE, JOYCE. 1828 01:00:56,987 --> 01:00:58,965 AND JOYCE... JOYCE WOULD DIE. JOYCE, JOYCE, JOYCE. IT'S ALWAYS JOYCE! 1829 01:00:58,989 --> 01:01:00,566 JOYCE, JOYCE, JOYCE. IT'S ALWAYS JOYCE! WHAT ABOUT MY FEELINGS? 1830 01:01:00,590 --> 01:01:02,635 IT'S ALWAYS JOYCE! WHAT ABOUT MY FEELINGS? BESIDES, I COULD NEVER LEAVE 1831 01:01:02,659 --> 01:01:05,138 WHAT ABOUT MY FEELINGS? BESIDES, I COULD NEVER LEAVE TED... NOT NOW. 1832 01:01:05,162 --> 01:01:07,239 BESIDES, I COULD NEVER LEAVE TED... NOT NOW. NOT SINCE... THE ACCIDENT. 1833 01:01:07,263 --> 01:01:08,274 TED... NOT NOW. NOT SINCE... THE ACCIDENT. [MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS] 1834 01:01:08,298 --> 01:01:09,676 NOT SINCE... THE ACCIDENT. [MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS] [SCOFFS] 1835 01:01:09,700 --> 01:01:12,478 [MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS] [SCOFFS] HE NEVER EVEN KNEW YOU EXISTED. 1836 01:01:12,502 --> 01:01:13,813 [SCOFFS] HE NEVER EVEN KNEW YOU EXISTED. AND NOW THAT HE'S IN A COMA, 1837 01:01:13,837 --> 01:01:15,782 HE NEVER EVEN KNEW YOU EXISTED. AND NOW THAT HE'S IN A COMA, HE'LL BE EVEN LESS INTERESTED. 1838 01:01:15,806 --> 01:01:16,615 AND NOW THAT HE'S IN A COMA, HE'LL BE EVEN LESS INTERESTED. HE NEEDS ME. 1839 01:01:16,639 --> 01:01:17,483 HE'LL BE EVEN LESS INTERESTED. HE NEEDS ME. HE NEEDS YOU? 1840 01:01:17,507 --> 01:01:18,685 HE NEEDS ME. HE NEEDS YOU? WHAT ABOUT MY FEELINGS?! 1841 01:01:18,709 --> 01:01:19,618 HE NEEDS YOU? WHAT ABOUT MY FEELINGS?! YOU'RE BITTER! 1842 01:01:19,642 --> 01:01:20,653 WHAT ABOUT MY FEELINGS?! YOU'RE BITTER! SURE, I'M BITTER! 1843 01:01:20,677 --> 01:01:22,789 YOU'RE BITTER! SURE, I'M BITTER! I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE! 1844 01:01:22,813 --> 01:01:25,591 SURE, I'M BITTER! I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE! THE MAN I FELL IN LOVE WITH, 1845 01:01:25,615 --> 01:01:28,161 I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE! THE MAN I FELL IN LOVE WITH, THE MAN I'D TRADE MY HUSBAND 1846 01:01:28,185 --> 01:01:29,996 THE MAN I FELL IN LOVE WITH, THE MAN I'D TRADE MY HUSBAND FOR, WOULD HAVE UNDERSTOOD. 1847 01:01:30,020 --> 01:01:31,064 THE MAN I'D TRADE MY HUSBAND FOR, WOULD HAVE UNDERSTOOD. I'M SORRY. 1848 01:01:31,088 --> 01:01:33,432 FOR, WOULD HAVE UNDERSTOOD. I'M SORRY. I JUST CAN'T HELP IT! 1849 01:01:33,456 --> 01:01:34,600 I'M SORRY. I JUST CAN'T HELP IT! [SIGHS] 1850 01:01:34,624 --> 01:01:36,635 I JUST CAN'T HELP IT! [SIGHS] MAYBE IT WAS MEANT TO BE. 1851 01:01:36,659 --> 01:01:39,205 [SIGHS] MAYBE IT WAS MEANT TO BE. MAYBE WE'RE JUST TWO SHIPS THAT 1852 01:01:39,229 --> 01:01:42,675 MAYBE IT WAS MEANT TO BE. MAYBE WE'RE JUST TWO SHIPS THAT PASS IN THE NIGHT. 1853 01:01:42,699 --> 01:01:45,311 MAYBE WE'RE JUST TWO SHIPS THAT PASS IN THE NIGHT. TWO SHIPS THAT PASS IN THE 1854 01:01:45,335 --> 01:01:46,713 PASS IN THE NIGHT. TWO SHIPS THAT PASS IN THE NIGHT? 1855 01:01:46,737 --> 01:01:51,217 TWO SHIPS THAT PASS IN THE NIGHT? I FEEL LIKE I'M IN A "B" MOVIE. 1856 01:01:51,241 --> 01:01:57,190 NIGHT? I FEEL LIKE I'M IN A "B" MOVIE. WAITER, CHECK, PLEASE! 1857 01:01:57,214 --> 01:01:58,024 I FEEL LIKE I'M IN A "B" MOVIE. WAITER, CHECK, PLEASE! ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. 1858 01:01:58,048 --> 01:01:58,925 WAITER, CHECK, PLEASE! ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. THAT'S IT! THAT'S IT! 1859 01:01:58,949 --> 01:01:59,926 ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. THAT'S IT! THAT'S IT! STOP IT! HOLD THE MUSIC. 1860 01:01:59,950 --> 01:02:01,060 THAT'S IT! THAT'S IT! STOP IT! HOLD THE MUSIC. NO, NO, NO. IT'S RIDICULOUS. 1861 01:02:01,084 --> 01:02:02,128 STOP IT! HOLD THE MUSIC. NO, NO, NO. IT'S RIDICULOUS. NO, REALLY, I MEAN, I'M NOT 1862 01:02:02,152 --> 01:02:03,196 NO, NO, NO. IT'S RIDICULOUS. NO, REALLY, I MEAN, I'M NOT GONNA GO ON WITH THIS THING. 1863 01:02:03,220 --> 01:02:04,697 NO, REALLY, I MEAN, I'M NOT GONNA GO ON WITH THIS THING. THIS IS ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS. 1864 01:02:04,721 --> 01:02:05,998 GONNA GO ON WITH THIS THING. THIS IS ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS. I WAS TOLD WHEN I CAME ON THE 1865 01:02:06,022 --> 01:02:07,266 THIS IS ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS. I WAS TOLD WHEN I CAME ON THE SHOW THAT I WOULD NOT HAVE TO 1866 01:02:07,290 --> 01:02:08,935 I WAS TOLD WHEN I CAME ON THE SHOW THAT I WOULD NOT HAVE TO WORK WITH THE BEES. 1867 01:02:08,959 --> 01:02:10,502 SHOW THAT I WOULD NOT HAVE TO WORK WITH THE BEES. AND NOW THIS IS... AND HERE THEY 1868 01:02:10,526 --> 01:02:10,903 WORK WITH THE BEES. AND NOW THIS IS... AND HERE THEY ARE! 1869 01:02:10,927 --> 01:02:12,538 AND NOW THIS IS... AND HERE THEY ARE! I WAS TOLD NO BEES WHEN I SIGNED 1870 01:02:12,562 --> 01:02:13,706 ARE! I WAS TOLD NO BEES WHEN I SIGNED ON TO THIS. 1871 01:02:13,730 --> 01:02:15,742 I WAS TOLD NO BEES WHEN I SIGNED ON TO THIS. THERE'S MY BIG DRAMATIC CHANCE 1872 01:02:15,766 --> 01:02:17,576 ON TO THIS. THERE'S MY BIG DRAMATIC CHANCE TO DO SOMETHING, AND THEY... 1873 01:02:17,600 --> 01:02:19,645 THERE'S MY BIG DRAMATIC CHANCE TO DO SOMETHING, AND THEY... THEY STICK A WHOLE STAGEFUL OF 1874 01:02:19,669 --> 01:02:20,747 TO DO SOMETHING, AND THEY... THEY STICK A WHOLE STAGEFUL OF BEES AROUND ME! 1875 01:02:20,771 --> 01:02:22,314 THEY STICK A WHOLE STAGEFUL OF BEES AROUND ME! NOW, IF YOU SAW THE FIRST SHOW, 1876 01:02:22,338 --> 01:02:23,816 BEES AROUND ME! NOW, IF YOU SAW THE FIRST SHOW, YOU SAW WITH GEORGE CARLIN... 1877 01:02:23,840 --> 01:02:24,984 NOW, IF YOU SAW THE FIRST SHOW, YOU SAW WITH GEORGE CARLIN... THE BEES DID NOT WORK! 1878 01:02:25,008 --> 01:02:26,585 YOU SAW WITH GEORGE CARLIN... THE BEES DID NOT WORK! AND THEN THE SECOND SHOW, 1879 01:02:26,609 --> 01:02:28,254 THE BEES DID NOT WORK! AND THEN THE SECOND SHOW, HOSTING... WITH PAUL SIMON 1880 01:02:28,278 --> 01:02:29,722 AND THEN THE SECOND SHOW, HOSTING... WITH PAUL SIMON HOSTING, THE BEES WERE 1881 01:02:29,746 --> 01:02:30,923 HOSTING... WITH PAUL SIMON HOSTING, THE BEES WERE HORRENDOUS! 1882 01:02:30,947 --> 01:02:32,225 HOSTING, THE BEES WERE HORRENDOUS! NOW, I DON'T HAVE TO... HOW MANY 1883 01:02:32,249 --> 01:02:33,359 HORRENDOUS! NOW, I DON'T HAVE TO... HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY IT?! 1884 01:02:33,383 --> 01:02:35,728 NOW, I DON'T HAVE TO... HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY IT?! I DON'T WANT THE DAMN BEES! 1885 01:02:35,752 --> 01:02:37,096 TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY IT?! I DON'T WANT THE DAMN BEES! NOW, DO YOU UNDERSTAND? 1886 01:02:37,120 --> 01:02:38,530 I DON'T WANT THE DAMN BEES! NOW, DO YOU UNDERSTAND? AM I MAKING MYSELF CLEAR? 1887 01:02:38,554 --> 01:02:39,698 NOW, DO YOU UNDERSTAND? AM I MAKING MYSELF CLEAR? YOU'RE RUINING THE SHOW! 1888 01:02:39,722 --> 01:02:41,200 AM I MAKING MYSELF CLEAR? YOU'RE RUINING THE SHOW! WILL YOU PLEASE LEAVE THE STAGE? 1889 01:02:41,224 --> 01:02:43,435 YOU'RE RUINING THE SHOW! WILL YOU PLEASE LEAVE THE STAGE? ROBBIE, ROBBIE, ROBBIE. 1890 01:02:43,459 --> 01:02:44,737 WILL YOU PLEASE LEAVE THE STAGE? ROBBIE, ROBBIE, ROBBIE. YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE SO HARD ON 1891 01:02:44,761 --> 01:02:45,271 ROBBIE, ROBBIE, ROBBIE. YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE SO HARD ON THE BEES. 1892 01:02:45,295 --> 01:02:46,305 YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE SO HARD ON THE BEES. THEY JUST DID IT 'CAUSE THEY 1893 01:02:46,329 --> 01:02:47,406 THE BEES. THEY JUST DID IT 'CAUSE THEY THOUGHT IT WOULD HELP THE SHOW. 1894 01:02:47,430 --> 01:02:48,507 THEY JUST DID IT 'CAUSE THEY THOUGHT IT WOULD HELP THE SHOW. BUT THEY'RE NOT HELPING THE 1895 01:02:48,531 --> 01:02:49,508 THOUGHT IT WOULD HELP THE SHOW. BUT THEY'RE NOT HELPING THE SHOW... THEY'RE RUINING THE 1896 01:02:49,532 --> 01:02:51,310 BUT THEY'RE NOT HELPING THE SHOW... THEY'RE RUINING THE SHOW! 1897 01:02:51,334 --> 01:02:53,679 SHOW... THEY'RE RUINING THE SHOW! HONEY, I DON'T NEED BEES! 1898 01:02:53,703 --> 01:02:55,314 SHOW! HONEY, I DON'T NEED BEES! I DON'T NEED BEES! 1899 01:02:55,338 --> 01:02:56,415 HONEY, I DON'T NEED BEES! I DON'T NEED BEES! I'M A MAJOR STAR! 1900 01:02:56,439 --> 01:02:58,284 I DON'T NEED BEES! I'M A MAJOR STAR! I'M ON THE NUMBER-ONE TELEVISION 1901 01:02:58,308 --> 01:02:59,351 I'M A MAJOR STAR! I'M ON THE NUMBER-ONE TELEVISION SHOW IN AMERICA! 1902 01:02:59,375 --> 01:03:00,653 I'M ON THE NUMBER-ONE TELEVISION SHOW IN AMERICA! THEY'RE ONLY BEES! 1903 01:03:00,677 --> 01:03:02,554 SHOW IN AMERICA! THEY'RE ONLY BEES! I DON'T WANT THE BEES! 1904 01:03:02,578 --> 01:03:03,455 THEY'RE ONLY BEES! I DON'T WANT THE BEES! WHAT IS IT? 1905 01:03:03,479 --> 01:03:05,524 I DON'T WANT THE BEES! WHAT IS IT? I'M SORRY IF YOU THINK WE'RE 1906 01:03:05,548 --> 01:03:08,627 WHAT IS IT? I'M SORRY IF YOU THINK WE'RE RUINING YOUR SHOW, MR. REINER, 1907 01:03:08,651 --> 01:03:10,763 I'M SORRY IF YOU THINK WE'RE RUINING YOUR SHOW, MR. REINER, BUT, UH, SEE, YOU DON'T 1908 01:03:10,787 --> 01:03:13,599 RUINING YOUR SHOW, MR. REINER, BUT, UH, SEE, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. 1909 01:03:13,623 --> 01:03:17,736 BUT, UH, SEE, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. WE DIDN'T ASK TO BE BEES. 1910 01:03:17,760 --> 01:03:19,972 UNDERSTAND. WE DIDN'T ASK TO BE BEES. YOU SEE, YOU'VE GOT NORMAN LEAR 1911 01:03:19,996 --> 01:03:22,809 WE DIDN'T ASK TO BE BEES. YOU SEE, YOU'VE GOT NORMAN LEAR AND A FIRST-RATE WRITING STAFF. 1912 01:03:22,833 --> 01:03:24,376 YOU SEE, YOU'VE GOT NORMAN LEAR AND A FIRST-RATE WRITING STAFF. BUT THIS IS ALL THEY CAME UP 1913 01:03:24,400 --> 01:03:28,214 AND A FIRST-RATE WRITING STAFF. BUT THIS IS ALL THEY CAME UP WITH FOR US. 1914 01:03:28,238 --> 01:03:32,118 BUT THIS IS ALL THEY CAME UP WITH FOR US. DO YOU... 1915 01:03:32,142 --> 01:03:36,355 WITH FOR US. DO YOU... DO YOU THINK WE LIKE THIS? 1916 01:03:36,379 --> 01:03:40,559 DO YOU... DO YOU THINK WE LIKE THIS? NO. NO, MR. REINER. 1917 01:03:40,583 --> 01:03:48,583 DO YOU THINK WE LIKE THIS? NO. NO, MR. REINER. BUT WE DON'T HAVE ANY CHOICE. 1918 01:03:49,226 --> 01:03:50,136 NO. NO, MR. REINER. BUT WE DON'T HAVE ANY CHOICE. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY. 1919 01:03:50,160 --> 01:03:50,970 BUT WE DON'T HAVE ANY CHOICE. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY. I FEEL TERRIBLE, BUT I... 1920 01:03:50,994 --> 01:03:51,770 I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY. I FEEL TERRIBLE, BUT I... I FEEL TERRIBLE. 1921 01:03:51,794 --> 01:03:53,906 I FEEL TERRIBLE, BUT I... I FEEL TERRIBLE. YOU SEE, WE WERE... WE'RE 1922 01:03:53,930 --> 01:03:56,075 I FEEL TERRIBLE. YOU SEE, WE WERE... WE'RE JUST LIKE YOU WERE FIVE YEARS 1923 01:03:56,099 --> 01:03:58,878 YOU SEE, WE WERE... WE'RE JUST LIKE YOU WERE FIVE YEARS AGO, MR. HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA, 1924 01:03:58,902 --> 01:04:01,113 JUST LIKE YOU WERE FIVE YEARS AGO, MR. HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA, NUMBER-ONE-SHOW BIG SHOT! 1925 01:04:01,137 --> 01:04:02,514 AGO, MR. HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA, NUMBER-ONE-SHOW BIG SHOT! ["BATTLE HYMN OF THE REPUBLIC" 1926 01:04:02,538 --> 01:04:03,049 NUMBER-ONE-SHOW BIG SHOT! ["BATTLE HYMN OF THE REPUBLIC" PLAYS] 1927 01:04:03,073 --> 01:04:03,916 ["BATTLE HYMN OF THE REPUBLIC" PLAYS] THAT'S RIGHT! 1928 01:04:03,940 --> 01:04:05,584 [PLAYS] THAT'S RIGHT! WE'RE JUST A BUNCH OF ACTORS 1929 01:04:05,608 --> 01:04:06,752 THAT'S RIGHT! WE'RE JUST A BUNCH OF ACTORS LOOKING FOR A BREAK... THAT'S 1930 01:04:06,776 --> 01:04:07,619 WE'RE JUST A BUNCH OF ACTORS LOOKING FOR A BREAK... THAT'S ALL! 1931 01:04:07,643 --> 01:04:10,456 LOOKING FOR A BREAK... THAT'S ALL! WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM US, 1932 01:04:10,480 --> 01:04:15,895 ALL! WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM US, MR. ROB REINER, MR. STAR?! 1933 01:04:15,919 --> 01:04:18,164 WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM US, MR. ROB REINER, MR. STAR?! WHAT DID YOU EXPECT... 1934 01:04:18,188 --> 01:04:19,531 MR. ROB REINER, MR. STAR?! WHAT DID YOU EXPECT... "THE STING"?! 1935 01:04:19,555 --> 01:04:21,875 WHAT DID YOU EXPECT... "THE STING"?! [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE] 1936 01:04:33,635 --> 01:04:39,185 I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY. WELL, I, FOR ONE, AM TOTALLY EMBARRASSED. 1937 01:04:39,209 --> 01:04:41,587 WELL, I, FOR ONE, AM TOTALLY EMBARRASSED. [COUGHS] 1938 01:04:41,611 --> 01:04:44,456 EMBARRASSED. [COUGHS] I FEEL TERRIBLE. 1939 01:04:44,480 --> 01:04:45,657 [COUGHS] I FEEL TERRIBLE. I THOUGHT I MADE MYSELF 1940 01:04:45,681 --> 01:04:47,126 I FEEL TERRIBLE. I THOUGHT I MADE MYSELF PERFECTLY CLEAR THAT I DIDN'T 1941 01:04:47,150 --> 01:04:48,394 I THOUGHT I MADE MYSELF PERFECTLY CLEAR THAT I DIDN'T WANT THE BEES. 1942 01:04:48,418 --> 01:04:50,429 PERFECTLY CLEAR THAT I DIDN'T WANT THE BEES. IT'S ALL RIGHT, HONEY. 1943 01:04:50,453 --> 01:04:52,899 WANT THE BEES. IT'S ALL RIGHT, HONEY. DON'T SAY, "HONEY." 1944 01:04:52,923 --> 01:04:54,901 IT'S ALL RIGHT, HONEY. DON'T SAY, "HONEY." [LAUGHTER] 1945 01:04:54,925 --> 01:04:57,045 DON'T SAY, "HONEY." [LAUGHTER] [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 196496

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