Original subtitles

The Kingdom Hospital rests on ancient marshland

where the bleaching ponds once lay.

Here the bleachers moistened their great spans of cloth.

The steam from the cloth shrouded the place in permanent fog.

Then the hospital was built here.

The bleachers gave way to doctors, researchers,

the best brains in the nation and the most perfect technology.

To crown their work they called the hospital The Kingdom.

Now life was to be charted,

and ignorance and superstition never to shake science again.

Perhaps their arrogance became too pronounced,

like their persistent denial of the spiritual.

For it is as if the cold and damp have returned.

Tiny signs of fatigue are appearing in the solid, modern edifice.

No living person knows it yet, but the portal to the Kingdom

is opening once again.

Thank you, Sweden.

Are you Stig G. Helmer?

Yes, yes. Will you sign here?

My Volvo! How happy you make me!

How much is it?

I think we should let the courts decide.

You have now identified yourself as Stig G. Helmer and accepted the writ.

The first hearing will be in a fortnight.

Spirits, spirits!

I don't think this is a good idea. Spirits, spirits ...

Oh, there you are! I have a little surprise for you.

You do look nice, Rigmor. Yes ... close your eyes.

Bondo's cancer looks nasty.

We must go for a marrow transplant.

The ultimate treatment is the only way.

Precisely what my therapist told me yesterday.

With a bit of luck I'll be giving up all this doctoring and management.

You can open your eyes now.

Spirits! Spirits!

Spirits ...

More of you! More!

More!

More!

I now pronounce you man and wife.

Thank you.

You should have had far more lessons.

Well, now that's broken, too.

Are you injured, Mummy? No.

If those were birds of passage, there certainly were a lot.

This is what we've confiscated from patients today alone.

Doesn't the DG want to see it?

Ugh, they don't look nice at all.

May we talk to the patient who's confessed to using poultices?

I think she would really like to relieve her conscience.

I think we'll do something else. That patient is interesting.

I'd recommend talking to her ...

Good morning, DG.

I want to see the minister of health now.

Often, company is the best medicine.

But ... he is

far too poorly. We are proud of our operations.

But postoperative care is the alpha and omega.

There we must be strict. No visits by high or low.

Out of my way, Moesgaard.

Or I'll knock you down. I am going to open the door.

You can't. Why not?

Because ...

Because he's been discharged.

The minister has been discharged.

Discharged? I thought he was poorly?

People with such a sense of duty are hard on themselves.

We should be grateful to our members of parliament.

Parliament? It's neurosurgery's charm.

You're flat out one day, on your feet the next.

A lesson one otherwise only learns in the school of life.

Spare me life and your observations, Moesgaard.

I just hope he won't say anything silly in the House.

Christmas is coming and the goose is getting fat ...

I think I can hear him. We all do.

Great men often leave an echo.

He has infected the other patients. They imitate his voice.

Why? Due to the scourge of the hospital.

Our commitment to the city dwellers. The lower classes

cannot distinguish their own personalities from others'.

They are parasites, pure and simple.

Call me old-fashioned, but that's what I think.

Mummy, come on!

It's only the wind. Shhh!

Did you hear that?

It sounds like a keening.

As if from a wounded animal ...

That's because he opened the door and closed it again.

You master logic like you master the red songbook.

When you don't need to!

There is something terribly wrong.

Why is the animal in such pain? Come on, Bulder!

This place is turning into a zoo.

What do you want? I haven't time for all this nonsense.

I don't want you.

Little Brother does.

Hello, Hook ... I thought you might be the right person

to persuade mummy. I so much want to die.

But mummy won't help me.

If the freak on the wall wants to die

help him to do so as soon as possible.

If we protect all the deformed, the world will drown in crud.

It's so fucking ... public.

You are sick. He is sick.

And you are sick if you can't see that the weak must be purged.

You are the weak one. If you had but a fraction of his strength

you'd be big enough to let everything around you live.

That's enough crap. If he wants to die, let him.

No!

You mustn't die. I want you to live.

Do you hear? I want you to live.

They are marching up and down a lot today.

And when they've marched back and forth for a whole day

they think they've come an awful long way.

They are ants. They do bustle about!

They bustle when they oughtn't.

Somebody's poked a stick into the heap

to see them run round themselves.

They dropped that medicine in 1994.

It didn't work on tennis elbow after all.

Tennis elbow?

I have epicondylites laterales humeri sinister.

Like I said. Tennis elbow.

They said it could be serious.

Yes, on Centre Court.

Ouch! Let go of me!

Yes, when you've explained

how I ended up in the archives again with another Danish cretin.

Pappi!

Such buddies!

I'm going on a kind of course in the old buildings for a week.

Do you want to borrow the car while I'm away?

Of course chacun a son gout and all that,

but for motorway driving you can't beat an Audi.

My choice is purely aesthetic.

An ugly or a beautiful death?

Helmer and Camilla are both killing me.

I've got problems of my own.

Tell Camilla it's over and swot for your exam.

You obviously don't know the Moesgaard motto.

What's that? A challenge is a challenge.

Deep, very deep. Isn't 1600 pages in two days enough of a challenge?

No. There must be an honourable way out.

DNA.

GIFTS

Our inheritance and our gift from the pain of generations!

Thank you for the gift of allowing me to be a real Bondo.

Thanks for the joy that fills me now

as I dream of the intellect

that is my family's indelible badge of nobility.

The body may deceive

but never intellect.

There will be no classes with me for a while.

I'm embarking on the preliminaries for a marrow transplant.

Hopefully we shall meet again when I emerge on the other side.

Is that good? Yes.

Can you feel it? Yes.

That's great. Great.

I am a chicken.

I am a chicken.

Yes, I'm a real chicken.

I'm a chicken. So what are you?

I'm a chicken. So what are you?

Don't just repeat me. Answer the question.

Yes.

What was the question? I am a chicken, damn it.

Is that a question? I've had it up to here.

Please be horrid to Einar, all of you. Really horrid.

Until he figures out whether he wants to play or not.

Fair enough.

When do I get my little Wednesday prezzie, eh?

You've only just had your little Tuesday prezzie.

We don't want to spoil you.

Go easy on your husband. See how fine he looks?

And how hard he works!

You have become a greater man.

If the word "Danish" didn't sound so hollow, I'd have called you that.

How's it going, Bondo? Splendidly, thanks.

I'm ready for the transplant.

That's the problem. We can't find a donor.

Not so far, anyway.

Normally we look for compatibility in the family, but you have nobody.

A shame. There was talk of a half-brother.

My father was a virile fellow. Great intellects are, you know.

A half brother would be fine.

He'd be a real Bondo.

The brethren send their respects. Even Helmer has acquired new zeal.

My desire and ambition is but one.

I desire to become a duck, only a duck, nothing but a duck.

Dear Brethren .... and this duck ...

Nivesen thinks he has such a good grip on the DG

that we may permit ourselves one of our bolder activities.

To ensure a superficial knowledge of the occult we are fighting,

I have invited Mrs. Drusse to join us.

She has agreed to come tomorrow evening for a seance

and a talk about alternative medicine.

Please consider whom we should choose as our central medium.

It's at Mrs. Drusse's request.

We need a man who is not a slave of his intellect

and whose ego is particularly weak.

Where the hell has Moesgaard got to?

Get into pairs. ... Come on.

Yes?

Why not Einar?

I don't like him.

But Einar is in our group.

He only wants to feel me up. I see.

Something is happening. Do you sense it?

We have made progress.

Good.

He hasn't paid.

Hasn't he paid?

I'm sure I've paid.

Show me the receipt.

What the devil are you playing at?

Wednesday was the last day. This is dated Thursday.

What a head I had!

Professor Helmer is coming.

Just like that!

Wow!

What is this?

Do the alcoholics from other wards send you beer?

No, it was for us ...

If you address the crate to yourself ...

... with the yellow flag ...

... it goes all round the system, through all the buildings,

and back again. It's a paternoster.

A kind of dumb waiter.

Yellow flag out ...

... and the crate comes back to you.

It comes back?

It's really ... Denmark. Completely idiotic.

The idiocy embodied in this phenomenon

tells you everything about the efficiency of this hospital.

... Extra strong lager, too.

No, it isn't extra strong, it's ... it's low alcohol.

Low? Low? Where does it say that?

It's an ordinary beer.

The yellow ... is just like the Swedish flag.

An ordinary beer.

Aage is a demon.

And a demon is a personification of Satan.

Demons only come when they are called ... Do you see, Bulder?

Yes, no, I mean no ...

Somewhere in these buildings someone is calling!

When the plane shot upwards the big building was on our right

and to one side was the fountain pond.

So prettily illuminated.

What is that big building called? It's not the hospital.

It's the masons.

The masonic lodge? That's what we have to get into.

We can't. There are lots of tests and things.

Not that kind of in. Just where they go in for it.

Go in for what? Where they go in for Satan.

Thank God for that. I thought they went in for body building.

And I'm not doing that.

How many years will society have her round its neck?

70 years?

70 times, say, half a million. That's 35 million.

35 million!

No wonder the tax payers feel cheated, eh?

Go back to your den, Hook, Mona doesn't need this.

No, Darling, not now.

She doesn't understand a word of it.

I don't want to hear it either.

Lovely, eh?

Having the entire hospital at your beck and call?

But luckily some people have begun listening to what I have to say.

Don't feel too safe, my dear.

Yuck, damn you!

Mummy!

The entire hospital is going crazy. It's getting to be beyond me.

It can't be stopped; all you can do is look out for your dear ones.

Aage offered to save you, and you said no.

Don't you see that the only thing that matters is keeping you alive?

And if it's on your father's terms, so what?

What do good and evil matter if you're dead?

If I have to live my life without my baby?

All my life I wanted a baby.

I've been waiting for you all my life.

I know it's hard for you, Mummy.

It's really horrid.

Of course resisting gets harder and harder the more it hurts.

But if father could do this to me and you,

and do all he has done to the Kingdom,

what might his kind do to the rest of the world?

I don't care about the rest of the world.

Yes, today

and maybe tomorrow.

But not for always.

My death is so infinitely small.

It hurts me and you.

But there are only the two of us, and the world is so big, so big,

as you have sung for me.

I beg you to help me do it.

If you love me, you can let me be the one to decide.

Can't you mend it?

It's all worn out.

Wow, how super!

People can wear out, too.

So can love for children and grownups

and goodness and friendship, all these things

can wear out and break down.

Then slightly right.

If you hit the crash barrier

just straighten up without getting scared.

Driving blindfold into the oncoming traffic

without getting scared?

I'll tell you when you reach the bridge.

Now! Then you use your wipers.

Now you can see.

You head for home like you've done before ... Piece of cake.

Christian, I think I've got something.

Remember the rumours about Helmer plagiarising in Lund?

I've got the writer's phone number. He'll have some dirt on Helmer.

Christian?

Sanne ...

Sanne ...

You were so mad about Falcon. But I don't dare any more.

I'm afraid.

And the terrible thing is, the money's promised to someone.

You see? Am I boring?

Am I boring because I don't dare do it?

I like you the way you are.

You don't have to be anyone else. Just be a good doctor.

That's how you must make your money.

I'd like to talk to Dr. J�nsson.

Ahah? He's coming in tomorrow morning?

I'll try again tomorrow morning, ja.

Because it is very important, very important.

To get to the lodge you go back to Bleach pond Road.

Mummy!

The pendulum wants to go this way.

EMERGENCY EXIT

Mummy ...

Take a lamp, Bulder.

Mummy, this can't be the masons.

No, we're far too deep.

Downwards!

Let the weak perish that the strong may reign

in the Chaos of Darkness!

Come on, Bulder!

What a mess!

Yes, and it's going to get worse.

It is hard to decline such power.

May I stay here a bit?

God, I was scared.

And really I am not the one you should fear.

I can take the pain away.

And death.

Together we can save your child, Judith.

It takes but a word.

How vexing! He's gone.

No, he's taken the lift.

He's getting off at Neurosurgery.

The evil could be me.

Yes, maybe it is us.

Maybe it isn't.

And our uncertainty

is the beauty of it all.

It's a very interesting situation

if someone from our very own neurosurgery ward

is in the evil camp.

Bulder, it's time to play.

Play?

Yes, we're going to play associations.

A trip deep into the subconscious. Archibald and I used to play.

The dirty old man!

One person says a word and the other person responds with another

without pause for thought.

The trick is that the response can be extremely revealing.

The hierarchy of hell is tremendously important.

Rather like it is here.

If I can sneak in the name of one of the rulers of hell ...

... such as Beelzebub, who attained the rank of Grand Duc

I may be sure it will pay off.

The evil one, who has the correct imprinted knowledge,

will be unable to refrain from responding with his own rank.

Let's try it, Bulder.

Mummy, there's nothing imprinted in me.

You don't say ...

Just say the first word that enters your mind.

Let's begin. Green.

Beer bottle. Yes. See how easy it is?

Car.

Repairs.

Gin? Tonic.

Biscuits. Under the cupboard.

I told you you'd taken them.

You see, it works.

But whom shall we try it out on? Who from neurosurgery

could be the evil one?

Yes, it'll be quite a job doing the whole hospital like this.

But I can't think of a better method

of paring away the worst of the hospital's fat.

I SAW HELMER

Can we be friends again now, Mummy?

I'm sorry, Darling. Of course we can be friends.

I love you.

But no more silly talk about me doing anything to you, eh?

I won't ask you to do anything, I promise.

Oh, maybe you could get some more cotton buds to moisten my lips?

Of course, Darling. I should've realised.

I can't take any more, Mummy.

Why didn't you tell me it hurt so much?

Mummy ...

Darling ...

It's no good.

Mummy, I want to be your little baby.

From now on, you make the decisions.

Sleep an hour or two.

We'll talk about it when you wake up.

I can't get hold of that J�nsson bloke.

My viva is any minute.

I feel like hell.

Exercise, Mogge. Use the adrenaline to move about.

Instead of making you nervous ...

Who shall we try? Does anyone here look suspicious?

I think the dark side requires a modicum of intelligence.

Hook looks funny.

His trip to the crematorium did him no good.

But he's not our man. He helped us with Mary.

Pear tree.

Idiot.

Little blue balloons? Tiedown.

Beelzebub?

Compulsory lobotomy. Stig? Stig?

Bondo needs a marrow transplant. Sadly, sadly, sadly.

I'd love to help, but I've got a viva.

They can't find a donor. He's no relatives, poor man.

He won't survive unless they find someone.

Mummy, shall we ...

Bulder, my boy, I have something to tell you.

Yes? What?

Something I have kept to myself for years.

Let's go to my room. I want you seated.

It's about your father.

My father? Yes, but sit down first.

Don't you ever do as you're told?

Never mind who I am.

I want to give you a tipoff.

I think the girl is trying to tell you something.

Let Mona play with her bricks.

She'll tell you something important about Dr. Helmer.

But get a move on, while she's still fairly lucid.

Stop, you old reprobate!

Helmer, damn it, We'll be late!

Had you forgotten that we have to haul Moesgaard's son through?

How about picking a question?

Very good.

An interesting choice.

It's always good to reach out into the periphery of the syllabus.

Right, Mogge, how much can you tell us about amylase?

Amylase? Yes.

All that remains is to decide on your grade.

Has Dr. J�nsson arrived? He has? Thank you.

Hello, this is Mogens Moesgaard from the Kingdom, Copenhagen.

I'm inquiring about your former boss, Stig Helmer.

I understand there were a few ... how shall I put it ... problems.

Can you tell me anything about him that I don't know?

You'd be happy to?

Cooeee! Bondo! Listen!

I've got good news and bad news.

The good news is that we've found your half-brother.

And he's compatible. And he's agreed to donate marrow.

It turns out that he works at the hospital.

Let me see him! Yes, well ...

What does he specialise in?

I'm already looking forward to swapping theories with him.

Let me see him, this bearer of the thousand-year-old Bondo intellect!

Well, that's the bad news.

Hi. Bro.

Is he tired? Come along.

Yes?

You are horrid and selfish.

Let me stop for a moment ... You must say thank you.

This is for your own sake.

You're the one who needs a lesson. Come on.

Bastard. Thank you.

Say thank you after she's hit you.

Yes, come on.

Thank you.

Oh, excuse me a moment.

I think my awakening is on its way.

Thanks to all of you.

I feel the need to be alone.

Einar, what are you feeling?

Anger. With whom?

All of them. What are they doing?

Stopping me. From what?

All I want to do for myself. And what is that?

To be a doctor. Say that again?

To be a doctor. I'll tell them

that I've had enough.

I want my money back. And my clothes.

Then I'll return to my ward, my management duties.

And my hospital.

Bob? Here I come!

I'll tell them to their faces

that a Moesgaard wishes to speak. A Moesgaard walks upright.

A Moesgaard does not flee in the dark down two sheets tied together!

I've considered what you said.

That it seemed to be a setup.

I have the same nasty feeling.

Aha? What can we do?

If the lodge really is behind it all, I wouldn't recommend sanctions.

The lodge is not to be trifled with.

You think we should bow to the lodge and do nothing?

I'd advise you to call off tonight's patrol.

So as not to provoke them. Provoke them?

Precisely. Go home. That's what I'd do.

By the way, my compliments on being such a great man.

What do you mean?

The article in this week's Medical Journal

where they debate whether this hospital needs a DG at all

seeing as the place is run by the consultants.

Splendid of you not to stoop to a defense!

Thank you, Nivesen.

A fine move, DG.

The Journal, you say? Yes.

Good night.

I've never found it so hard to agree.

For Moesgaard's sake I'd give him a 7 and just pass him.

I admit that he was somewhat incoherent.

But less than a 7 has never been awarded to a lodge member's son.

Don't fail him with less than a 3!

All right, if you say so. Let's stop here.

No! Helmer ... We couldn't give you much.

May I pass on greetings to my external examiner?

8 personal greetings from the village of Bor�s.

J�nsson ...

We could only give you a 3.

I hate mediocrity.

Party discipline on the local council back home

taught me to hate.

I am a duck, I am a duck, I am a duck, I know it.

It's got to be an 11, cum laude.

If you say so, Helmer.

He's here.

Hi, Bro!

Let's extract that marrow!

The last dance before we go home

Before the sun again does roam

Still I hold you close

Still the night is ours

Lovely the last dance

Before we go I meet your lips

Before we go home

For a brief second Before we go home

The night is over

I whisper goodnight

I kiss you see you soon

I have never

Felt heaven as close as now.

At Christmas it shall come to pass.

Our time will soon be over.

Will you marry me?

Yes, I will.

Good.

A two? Well done, Mogge.

There's no such thing as a 2. Only 0 or 3.

Mogge thinks you're brave to have come here.

Yes, I'm ready now.

Sanne!

Come on ...

There.

I'll run you home. I've got dad's car.

You need to get your strength back.

What a buzz! An 11!

HELMER WAS

Helmer ... Helmer ...

Good morning.

There!

The staircase.

Hello, Camilla. How is your son?

Fine, thanks, they've finished.

He always takes his time sleeping it off.

The anaesthetic? In this case.

I'm so confused, I can't get anything right.

I've developed a method ... a game of associations.

It tells one so much about people.

Yes, I've played it a lot. It's great fun.

Yes, because people give you such different answers.

I mean, what would you say to bubble and squeak?

Leftovers?

How about Orangutan?

Dr. Helmer.

Sorry, I don't know what got into me.

Oh, dear, how funny!

Prawn cocktail.

Thousand island. Emu?

Three letter animal. The Hebrides?

Stiff nor'westerly.

How about Beelzebub?

Grand Duc.

What did you say? You said Beelzebub.

So I replied Grand Duc.

Beelzebub, Grand Duc, Lucifer,

Empereur, Satanachia,

Grand General.

What have you done?

Accursed bitch!

Good evening. I'm the DG and I'm making an inspection.

Nobody is to stop me! No, of course not.

First, the minister.

I don't think he's here. Maybe he's been discharged?

But DG, Sir! It is unlocked. It opens outwards.

It's the new kind ... at your suggestion.

So we could get more beds in.

Stop! I have some management questions. I am

the DG.

Hey, stop! ... Surely I can handle the patients ... That's an order!

Sorry, but I've very little time.

Stop, stop! At once!

I'll get you!

This is the police.

What have you done with the girl?

I am the highest authority in this hospital.

You're a consultant?

Open up!

In the name of the law!

Frightened ...

Frightened ...

Frightened ... Grown-ups can be frightened, too.

Can I be of service?

A mistake. We thought you'd taken ... I mean ...

Yes? What? The girl was missing.

And you ran ... Yes, ran ...

I don't know if it's the right word. But efficiency isn't illegal here,

or what does the DG say? It's a disciplinary offence

not to move laundry to the laundry, and nowhere else.

Thank you.

It seems the good Mrs. Drusse is late so let's get started.

I've mugged up on this kind of tomfoolery.

We have to decide whom to invoke.

The DG's better self?

Bob's better self? It won't be easy.

Let's try ... Is our central medium ready?

Come on, Bob! Come on, Bob ...

Come on, Bob ...

Are you awake now?

What is going to happen, Mummy?

Have you made up your mind?

An hour ago I was sure I'd do a deal with Aage.

I was about to call him

when I remembered what Drusse said about the spirits.

That when one was ready, one could see them.

So I came up here

and all at once

I really could see them.

I understand now what you said,

that we are all part of something greater

and the fact that together we belong on the side of good

renders everything else insignificant.

They love you, and they trust you.

Though you matter more to me than anything in the world,

I can't force you to go against your nature and your convictions.

Yes.

I will help you to die.

It was for such a brief instant.

But I wouldn't have done without you for all the world.

Mummy ...

Yes, my beloved? It must be now.

While we still can.

I'd like to baptise you.

Then I should like to be called Frederik, like the Crown Prince.

Babies who do not live to bear a name are given the king's name.

Of course you shall have the king's name.

I baptise you Frederik.

In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.

Thank you, Mummy.

I thank you, Frederik.

No, not by injection, Mummy.

I dare not.

I don't want to be asleep when it happens.

Release me, Mummy. You must release me, Mummy.

Do you think we can do it? I know we can do it.

Together.

I can't do it. You can. I love you, Mummy.

Sing for me.

The sun is so red, Mummy

And the forest black

Now the sun is dead, Mummy ...

No!

Oh!

Hello? ... Can anyone hear me?

I can't open the door.

Hey, Hook! He's about to start.

Falcon is about to go.

I've put a month's wages on him. Take over for ten minutes, OK?

We're about to test the Emergency Power Supply.

The mains will cut out and the generators will cut in.

Just turn the mains power back on via the red button

if the generator fails to start. But it always does.

Don't touch anything else, specially the big levers.

It'd be easy to exterminate the weaker patients.

Falcon, are you ready?

We're ready here. 5000 on red.

No, I'll put it on black.

I don't think he'll make it today. Not blind.

... 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, go!

This won't do. It won't do at all.

I've staked a month's wages.

And you're not even cheering.

I don't like that, shorty.

There he is!

Mogge, it's daddy.

There he is, the bastard! Catch him!

After him!

Where in hell did he go?

He's screwed us all. Who has?

Moesgaard. It's all his fault.

I'll bet it is. I should've known it.

Good evening, Bob.

Director General, I mean.

I've damned well had enough.

Bob, Bob, you've had your day The lodge will make you go away ...

Like that, is it?

Is this how you combat the occult?

This will cost you dear.

I shall inform the minister himself.

Hello, Bob ... actually I only receive people on Thursdays.

Who are you? What are you doing here?

You shouldn't be here. Oh, this is my place.

My job.

Work? What are you on about?

I am death.

Yes, it's going to be a busy night.

What ... What have I done?

What have I done?

Hello there!

Oh, not again!

The generators will start in a moment.

We keep a lot of people alive by machinery.

Control! Come in! Where the hell are you?

Talk to me! Talk to me!

Come in, Falcon!

Falcon, are you there? Falcon, come in!

It's Christian.

Where the hell is the EPS?

In a few seconds

we'll have the biggest hospital disaster in modern times.

Aage Kr�ger!

Give me back my baby!

The sun turned so red, mum

And the night so black

Little Brother's dead, mum And Mona can't come back

Aage's roaming out there, mum So we lock our doors

There's a draught upon my pillow, mum

Will the Kingdom be as before?

My name in all humility remains Lars von Trier

and I wish you yet again the obligatory good evening.

If, despite what you have seen,

you still wish to follow the Kingdom's slalom course,

spend more time with our little flock,

and listen yet again to this gentleman's flippant remarks,

for Satan's sake be prepared to take the Good with the Evil.

After a day like today

all I need is for that idiot J�nsson from Lund to show his face.

Excuse me, my name is J�nsson, from Lund.

I bring greetings for Dr. Helmer

from his wife and seven children in Bor�s.