Original subtitles

Archie.

Are you drawing with your crayons?

Can I see your picture?

And then, you can have some birthday cake.

It's your birthday too.

Your sweet 16.

Archie.

You drew Mom.

Oh, my God.

Happy Birthday, Apo.

I made your favorite.

Champorado.

That's great, Lola.

Hmm...

But my birthday's not for a couple of days.

Huh.

I was sure it was today.

Last night, I got a call from an unknown number.

When I didn't answer, a video chat invitation came up on Spooky Spaghetti,

- and... - You just couldn't help yourself?

The invitation was from someone claiming to be Bloody Rose

and whoever it was, threatened me.

Oh, my God.

I also got a missed call last night.

Oh, I got a random call too.

- Yep. - Same.

Mamma Mia! two. Here We Go Again.

No, girl. That one's a reach.

If it helps, I don't think it's one of our established supervillains.

I did some recon on Spooky Spaghetti, and...

Our phone numbers were posted on this site.

Our new, private numbers.

- Oh, wait, what the actual fuck? - What?

Who would've or could've leaked our numbers?

I mean, I only gave mine to my moms,

and they're on a Disney Dream Cruise with basically no internet.

I gave mine to my Dad, but he lives next to a quarry, with basically no internet.

I gave mine to my new boss, who happens to be Coach Rhodes,

and he's a little too old for Spooky Spaghetti, I think.

I gave mine to a new co-worker, Jen.

She... She just started at Pinball Pizza.

Uh, strangely enough, we actually know each other.

From juvie.

She's good people.

I also gave my number to a co-worker.

Cute Christian?

For official work purposes only.

Okay, well,

any one of those people might have posted one of our numbers,

but how could someone have posted all of them?

I don't know.

But I e-mailed the Spooky Spaghetti website, again,

and asked to have them taken down.

Obviously, I'm all over this until I hear back from them,

but there is something else I wanted to talk about.

Shit.

What is it?

I was kind of hoping someone else would bring it up,

but it's my birthday Saturday.

Wait, it's your birthday?

I... I wouldn't even be bringing it up, but...

It's my sweet 16,

and it wouldn't even be a big deal if we can't do anything.

I just thought I would mention it. Oh, so casually.

Oh... I...

I'm not sure about a birthday party right now, Mouse.

Yeah, even if that call was just some stupid Spooky Spaghetti prank,

maybe we should be keeping a low profile.

Yeah, business as usual. Good call.

But we can blow it out next year,

and have a sweet 17 party.

Oh, of course.

Yeah.

I understand. Better safe than sorry.

- Hmm. - Yeah.

So, tell me what's going on with your grandmother, Mouse.

She

saw someone outside the window,

who wasn't there.

And later didn't even remember it.

Seeing signs like that in our loved ones can be upsetting, no question.

And if her behavior persists or worsens,

you can always bring her in for an evaluation.

But is something else bothering you, Mouse?

That prank video call I told you about.

If you're concerned for your safety,

have you considered talking to Deputy Maroon?

That's just it.

I'm not scared for my safety,

but I am annoyed that I'm not having a birthday party

'cause my friends are scared.

Or maybe they just couldn't be bothered.

Or, worse, they...

Don't like me.

I assure you, that's not the case.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but...

I miss my moms.

Well, then.

I think we're making progress.

We're all seriously going to hell.

No, we're not. This is a good lie.

And I confirmed with the roller rink,

they're reserving a special section just for us

that we can take over for the entire night.

Mouse is gonna lose it.

Who doesn't want a Xanadu-themed birthday party?

- Imogen? - Mmm?

Can you still bring a cake from the Creamery?

Uh, absolutely.

The biggest, meltiest ice cream cake ever.

And Ash has been sworn to secrecy.

Spooky Spaghetti be damned.

Operation Sweet Sixteen is all systems go.

A bit of housekeeping.

Sandy's mother called the rectory.

According to Mrs. Quinn,

Sandy decided against staying in Millwood for the summer

and has instead joined her family on the Cape.

Pastor Malachai.

I know Sandy's part.

Very well, Kelly.

Mrs. Beasly also has flyers for us to put up around town.

Redemption House is coming,

and we must all do our part

to save those who are worthy.

Excuse me, but who the hell are you?

- Uh... - Oh, uh, Mom, uh, this is Christian.

He's a friend from work, and we're walking to the Orpheum together.

Nice to meet you, Ms. Haworthe.

Hey, sorry I'm late.

All good.

Hey, Jen, you haven't given anyone else my number, have you?

No, why would I do that?

You wouldn't. Forget I asked.

Two scoops of mint chocolate chip and a banana split.

Kelly.

Oh, my gosh, hi.

Imogen.

Since when do you work at the Creamery?

Oh, it's recent-ish.

What about you? How... How've you been?

Good. Really good. Busy, you know.

What's, uh... What's with the flyers?

Oh, I was just, um...

Hitting up some stores, passing these out for Our Mother of Holy Grace.

You know, my church.

I was, um, hoping to leave a stack on the counter, but...

- You know what, don't worry about it. Really. - No.

No, you totally can.

Mmm...

What's Redemption House?

Oh, it's, uh... Sort of, like a...

Religious-themed audience participation type of...

Event.

You mean, like a play?

Yes, except way more fun.

Oh. Speaking of fun,

the girls and I are throwing Mouse

a super-secret sweet 16 party at the roller rink,

tomorrow night.

You should totally come.

And invite Greg too, if you want.

Oh, Kelly, I really hope you can come.

I...

I miss you.

You do?

Of course.

It's been, like, way too long.

Enjoy the movie.

Okay. This is important.

What's your favorite vampire flick?

Hey, that's my question.

Well?

Hmm... This is a tough one, I mean...

Hard to beat Coppola's Dracula, even with Keanu as Jonathan Harker,

but I also have a soft spot for the Buffy movie. True horror comedy.

And who doesn't wanna get on the back of Luke Perry's motorcycle?

Ooh, wait...

Maybe Queen of the Damned.

Okay, stop, stop, stop. You cannot be serious right now.

Hey, before you judge, what's your favorite vampire movie?

The man, the icon, the legend,

Blacula.

Hmm. Never seen it.

Ugh. Okay.

We need to rectify this situation immediately.

You should come over to my house, and we can watch it tonight.

Unless your mom wouldn't be cool with that. She seemed kinda...

Oh, no. It's not that. She's just...

Overprotective.

But sure, I'd love to.

Awesome. And you can see my studio

where I do my mask design and makeup effects.

You have a studio?

Uh, I mean...

Nothing fancy. It's just my basement.

Assholes!

Which one of you incels does this belong to?

Yo Stringbean, go get your mom's bikini, bro.

You put this in my locker?

Seriously, Stringbean, not cool.

Lighten up, Captain.

I just... I thought you'd look better in this.

What is it with you assholes?

Damn, Faran, why you so uptight? We're just giving you shit.

You know what? Get on the concrete.

You jackasses can't laugh while you're planking.

Now.

Jen, Noa, got a sec?

I just counted the till.

We're supposed to be at $580, and we're $20 short.

Did either of you accidentally take money out of the register?

- Wow, really? - Of course not.

So, if I were to ask you to empty your pockets...

I would quit and sue your ass for harassment.

Can you just answer my question?

Did either of you take any money out of the register

- accidentally or otherwise? - Why would I steal from my place of employment?

Uh, hold up. We're not short, Benny. You miscounted again.

We're at $580 and 12 cents. Check my math if you want.

I will, at the end of the day.

Before either of you clocks out.

What was your name again?

Riley.

Well, Riley, unfortunately, we're out of chocolate chip, but I can check the back.

If not, I know this amazing ice cream spot in Rosewood

that I could take you to tonight.

Hey.

Just so you know, he's a total player.

What?

Let's just say you're not the only girl he's hit on today.

What's your fucking problem?

Oh, no. No problem. I... I'm just trying to give you a heads up.

Us girls gotta stick together.

How about you mind your own damn business?

Dumb bitch.

Wow.

I guess I won't be seeing you at the women's march.

What's going on?

Fuck you and this bitch. I'm out.

What the hell just happened?

I told her the truth.

That you're leading on a bunch of girls,

so you can hook up with all of them later.

Wow, okay. Uh...

Even if that were the case,

what's the problem?

The problem is that you shouldn't treat girls that way.

Like... Like they're interchangeable.

Imogen, due respect...

Get over yourself.

It's summer, I'm single, I'm hot.

I'm not looking for a girlfriend right now.

And just because you're some sort of

stuck up prude,

don't ice my game.

Okay?

We need to talk, obviously.

Yeah, we do. Uh, thank you for covering for me with Benny.

- What'd you do, exactly? - I had to slip in a 20 out of my own tip money

to make up for what was missing.

What the fuck are you doing, Jen?

Relax, it's $20.

We get paid for shit at this place. Barely any tips.

Pretty sure me and my mom need that money more than douche bag Benny does.

This isn't The Bear. I'm not here 'cause I love making food.

I vouched for you, and I really need this job.

I'm completely on my own, Jen.

I get it, I... I get that you're going through some rough shit with your mom,

but do not drag me into your drama.

- Fine. Calm the fuck down. - No, you calm the fuck down.

Oh, and by the way,

you owe me $20, bitch.

- This is a super cool house. - Thanks.

Can I ask why did you guys move from New York to Millwood?

My parents are visual artists.

You know, painter and photographer.

They were looking for more space, less rent.

Got it.

So you wanna check out my studio?

Then we can watch Blacula?

You comin'?

Yep.

Yes, I am...

Totally climbing down these creepy-ass stairs.

You made all of these?

By yourself?

Yep.

How?

Oh, a lot of trial and error.

But I've... But I've got every back issue of Fangoria and The Gorezone,

and I've read every book by and about Tom Savini,

and, I, uh...

Study a lot of YouTube videos.

God, I'd love to have a space like this to work out of.

My own studio.

Oh, you can work out of this one any time. Seriously.

Thanks.

That would be our pizza rolls.

I'll, uh, be right back.

Just leave it. No need to snoop.

Oh, fuck it.

No.

No, no, no, no, no...

Tabby... I... I can explain.

- Save it. - Well, obviously, I didn't want you to find those.

Yeah, no shit.

- Tabby, I... - Back off.

Back the fuck away.

Oh, my God. They actually took our numbers down.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God, yay!

Oh, my God!

What role are you playing for Redemption House?

Couple different parts.

Don't worry. You don't have to come if you don't want to.

Oh, trust me, I'm coming.

Anyway, how was work?

Fine.

But the guys keep messing with me.

You know, playing practical jokes.

Which is... Whatever, but then they act like I'm the problem.

Like, I'm uptight and don't have a sense of humor.

Like I'm no fun.

Well, I mean, you can be a little intense.

All I'm saying is, if you want those guys to like you...

I want them to respect me.

Well, if you want them to do either, or both,

you know, maybe try...

Being a little less of a hard-ass?

More of a regular person. You know, one of the guys.

Looks like you had as good of a day-slash-night as I did.

I...

may have just freaked the fuck out on Christian.

Cute Christian? What happened?

He invited me over to watch a movie, and...

Things were actually going okay, until I went snooping.

- Oh, no. - And found a homemade Archie Waters mask

in his basement.

Oh, my God.

- Wait, you... You don't think... - Mmm, no.

Probably, uh, he's just into horror movies and serial killers

in a completely innocent, nerdy kind of way.

You did the right thing, Tabby.

If you ever get uncomfortable, no matter what the situation, you should always go.

Leave. Immediately.

God, when am I gonna be able to just like a guy?

Date a guy without having PTSD?

Right there with you.

I, um...

I had a freak-out of my own

with the new guy I'm working with.

Tell me more about this new guy.

His name's Johnny.

He's not

unattractive.

Code for super-hot.

Ugh. And he knows it.

- He's a total player. - Hmm.

Hitting on every single girl who comes in the door.

And I...

I basically went off on him.

Hmm.

God, Tabby.

Are summer flings meant to be this terrifying?

Definitely not.

But I think we, of all people,

are justified in having our guards up.

I was thinking I could make an '80s playlist to accompany Xanadu.

I mean, every song is a hot hit.

But the album's only, like, half an hour long.

- Oh, love that. So fun. - Thank you. I'm extremely fun.

You guys... Great news. It worked.

- Uh... - What worked?

I was monitoring Spooky Spaghetti, which is my thing now,

and our photos

are gone.

More importantly, our cell phone numbers were taken down, too.

Which means...

We could have my birthday party.

I mean, if we wanted to.

Oh, uh...

Mouse, I... I thought we decided we were gonna wait, you know.

Yeah, uh, we're slammed at the Orpheum all weekend.

Same. Benny's got me on double delivery duty.

Uh, I'm supervising kiddie swim at the pool.

But maybe we do something for the Fourth of July.

Oh, yeah, sure. Sounds...

Sounds good.

I guess just...

- Enjoy. - Thank you.

- Hi. - Hi.

Look. Um...

About yesterday, I was way out of line talking to that girl,

and then going after you like that.

Seriously, Imogen, you're good. Uh...

I'm the one who's sorry.

- For what? - I didn't mean to be, uh...

Insensitive.

And just so you know, I... I would never do anything

untoward, to

any of those girls.

"Untoward."

Anything we would be doing would be

one-hundred percent consensual.

Oh, my God.

Johnny, did... Did you, by any chance, Google me?

Mmm, yeah. I saw some stuff on this website.

- Spooky Spaghetti. - Spooky Spaghetti.

Oh, the bane of my existence.

That you survived the Millwood Massacre.

That there was that Chip guy,

who was killed, uh,

- but before that, he, uh... - Chip Langsberry, yeah.

Anyway, uh, I

like to have a good time,

but I'm not... a bad dude.

And I appreciate you saying that.

- Good. - Yeah, it's good.

Yeah, okay.

Hey.

- Listen, sorry I freaked... - Tabby, I'm really sorry, I...

- You first. - I...

I feel terrible about what happened last night.

And... And for what it's worth, I made those masks before I knew you.

I get it. And I'm sorry, too.

I shouldn't have snooped.

Well, I... I don't blame you.

I must've been giving off some major Barbarian vibes.

That is an apt comparison.

Why those masks in particular?

Full disclosure?

I've been on Spooky Spaghetti.

Who in Millwood hasn't, at this point?

No, I... I got inspired and started working on those masks you found, again,

before I even met you.

I hate to ask this, but

you didn't post my number on Spooky Spaghetti, or...

Or share it with anyone, did you?

No, of course not.

Wait. Do I seem like the kinda guy that would do something like that?

- Post your number? - Uh, no.

No, not at all. But...

Christian,

Avenge was autobiographical.

I, uh...

Figured there was some truth in there.

Felt pretty personal.

There's more.

The guy who did that to me was my best friend.

This guy named Chip, who

worked here with me

like you do now.

And we also loved horror movies and we used to hang out,

also in his basement.

Wow.

That's a lot.

It is.

Tabby,

I'm so sorry for what happened to you.

Thanks.

Um...

Now, if I haven't completely freaked you out at this point,

uh, my girlfriends and I are throwing a surprise birthday party

for our friend, Mouse, at the roller rink.

Would you maybe wanna come?

With me?

Yeah, maybe.

eventually it turned into a three-ski. You know what I mean?

Stringbean, what the fuck are you doing?

There's someone at the bottom of the pool.

Come on, come on.

You assholes. This isn't funny.

Hey, don't blame us. This was Captain's idea.

You're right, Stringbean. Falling asleep while on duty isn't funny.

It's negligent.

Consider this your first official warning. And you don't get a second one.

Come on, Cap.

Hey, don't pass out in the caramel sauce.

I'm sorry, I, um...

I've been having trouble sleeping.

There is a cot in the back office if you wanna take a nap.

Hmm.

Unbelievable.

My moms are living their best lives without me.

My friends are completely checked out, not doing anything for my birthday.

And I...

I know we're going mini-golfing tonight, and I love you for that,

but I just... I feel...

Depressed.

Like this is gonna be the worst birthday weekend of my life.

Mouse,

I was sworn to secrecy, but...

Your friends are throwing you a surprise party.

OMG, really?

Ugh, those liars.

Give me all the details. When? Where? How?

No, no way. I've already said too much.

Just act surprised when the time comes, please?

Seriously? You're not gonna tell me anything?

Can you at least give me a hint?

- Like, is it gonna happen on my official birthday... - Tonight.

But for real, that is all I am saying.

Hey, Noa. Um...

Silent treatment? Really? Are you that mad at me?

Um, hello?

Uh, did you guys, maybe, forget something?

Dude, you didn't tip her?

Uh, damn. I guess I did forget.

Don't worry, I got a tip for you, baby.

Actually, it's a lot more than just the tip.

Where's her fucking tip, man?

- Whoa. - All right.

All right. Calm down.

Can I at least get your friend's digits?

- Or yours? - You want digits?

Well, here's two.

Got your tip money.

Keep it. I'm in the red with you.

Just forget about that. Take it.

Thank you.

I'm... I'm sorry I got so pissed.

I just...

I can't go back to juvie, Jen.

Me neither.

Not even if you were there.

Oh, uh...

Do you wanna come to my friend Mouse's birthday party tonight?

Uh, it's very, very casual. We're taking over the roller rink.

Uh, if... If you wanna come, you totally can.

Is Shawn gonna be there?

No, it's not...

Not really his scene.

How'd you do?

I actually slept.

But I, uh, had a weird dream.

You wanna tell me about it?

You know about Archie Waters?

From the Millwood Massacre?

Well, I keep seeing his mother.

Bloody Rose Waters.

But the weird part is, when I see this person,

it's Rose Waters, but it's also my mom.

Anyways, in the dream, you were in it too.

We were both here, working.

I was taking the trash out.

And when I walked to the dumpsters,

I saw her.

This bloody, horrifying face.

A face I never wanna see again.

Jesus.

I know it's crazy,

but, Johnny, I wanna go back out there.

Make sure she's not there.

You want me to come with you?

No.

No, I need to do this on my own.

How'd you do? Get some z's?

I... I did.

But I had a weird dream, and I... I don't wanna talk about it.

Delaney?

Delaney!

Delaney!

Somebody, help her. Help!

Everybody, everybody, get back.

Everybody, back up, back up!

Right there.

Who was supposed to be in the chair?

Who was meant to be in the chair?

It was me.

I should've been up there, I... I fucked up.

You're fired.

Get your shit and get out of here.

Party's over.

No more fucking around on the job. I mean it.

Me included.

This is life or death, as I hope we all saw today.

And anyone who thinks otherwise is welcome to leave.

Hey, I don't have any plans tonight.

So you can leave early if you want. I'll close up.

Ah, I appreciate that.

It's actually my friend Mouse's birthday party tonight

at Skidamarink Rollerway.

You can stop by.

If you want, if you're up for it.

Yeah.

Yeah, okay.

Cool.

The little girl's going to be okay.

But I swear, my heart stopped, Henry.

Jesus, sounds harrowing.

Hey, but, you shouldn't keep beating yourself up over it, Faran.

You did your job. You saved her life.

I'm beating myself up over it, because I...

- I made a mistake. - What mistake?

I tried to be one of the guys when I'm not.

I'm a woman, for one.

I'm Black, I'm Captain, I'm strong.

I'm a force, and I need to own that, not be scared of it.

Does that make sense?

Yeah, it does.

And you're right.

Thank you.

And now I need to...

Tap into my strength and tell you something

that I was scared to say before.

I got the all-clear to dance.

Oh, Faran, that's amazing.

Henry, I got it weeks ago.

Wait, so... You've been lying to me?

Yes.

Ugh, God, but I...

You could've been honest with me.

Why weren't you?

Because I was scared about how you'd react.

But the thought of putting on those ballet slippers again...

I think that after everything that happened last year,

I still have emotional scars I'm dealing with,

which is not fair to you, I know.

Look, I gotta...

I gotta go. I gotta wrap my brain around this.

Tell, uh... Tell Mouse "Happy birthday" for me.

I just...

I need a beat here.

Of course. I understand.

♪ A place where Nobody dared to go ♪

♪ The love that We came to know ♪

♪ They call it Xanadu ♪

♪ It takes your breath And it'll leave you blind ♪

Okay, I talked to the DJ,

and as soon as Mouse walks in, she's gonna cut the music,

and we're all gonna jump out, and say "Surprise!"

I cannot wait to see the look on her face.

You don't think Ash spilled the beans, right?

- He knows better. - Yeah.

Hey, Bryant, where's Henry?

He couldn't make it. Where's Shawn?

Couldn't make it.

But look who did make it.

- Hi! - Greg!

Come on, Mouse, we have to go.

Go? Go where?

I'm supposed to take you to...

A place.

Wait, is this part of...

The thing?

I'm not supposed to say much.

Lola, did one of my friends tell you to do this?

Yes.

But I'm not supposed to tell you anything else. Now, go get dressed.

Okay.

♪ Xanadu, Xanadu ♪

Johnny!

- ♪ Now we are here ♪ - ♪ In Xanadu ♪

- You made it! - Yeah.

And you brought ice cream.

- Didn't wanna show up empty-handed. - Hmm.

Uh, only thing is, I don't have dry ice.

Oh, uh... There's a freezer, somewhere.

Okay, I'll find it. And I'll be right back.

Um, is that the guy from the Creamery?

It totally is. I see him there all the time.

Okay, your outfit, it looks fire.

Look at yours. Olivia Newton-John would be proud.

- RIP. - RIP

Okay, come on. Let's get you skates.

Hey, you came.

Hey, I did.

My only hesitation was that I can't skate.

That's okay. I can help.

This is where my party is?

Shouldn't there be, like, lights and balloons or something?

It's a super-secret surprise.

Okay.

Hello?

Anybody here?

♪ Three blind mice Three blind mice ♪

♪ See how they run See how they run ♪

♪ They all run after The farmer's wife ♪

♪ She cut off their tails With a carving knife ♪

♪ Did you ever see Such a sight in your life ♪

♪ As three blind mice ♪

"This is your birthday test.

A final girl must escape any death trap.

You hide, I seek."

No, thank you. I'm good.

No, no, no, no...

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

♪ We are magic ♪

♪ Nothing can stand In our way ♪

How does Noa know Jen again?

Pinball Pizza. But also juvie.

They seem...

Close.

Maybe they were lesbian lovers in there, or something.

- That happens. - Greg!

The trick is to relax.

And most importantly, eyes up.

There you go. A natural.

♪ Destiny will arrive ♪

Or we could do this, yes.

Um, maybe I should get

one of those skate trainer things for little kids.

Or you can take my hand.

Mrs. Honrada, hey.

I'm here to pick up the birthday girl.

I already dropped her off.

For the surprise.

What? Dropped her off where?

♪ Three blind mice... ♪

Ash just called me. He said something weird is going on with Mouse.

Apparently, her grandma dropped her off

at a Rose E. Ricotta's for her party, but can't remember where it is.

Wait, that... That literally makes no sense.

We're here. The surprise party's here.

Yeah, and what Rose E. Ricotta's?

I mean, didn't they all basically get torn down?

Uh, there's an old one on Route 36, by the truck depot.

My mom used to take me.

We'll text Ash, tell him to meet us there.

Hmm.

Oh, my God.

Mouse!

Mouse.

- Mouse! - Mouse! Oh, my God!

Are you okay?

What... What happened?

Bloody Rose.

It started again.

It's okay. It's okay.