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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,852 --> 00:00:03,626 Hey, guys, check it out. 2 00:00:04,502 --> 00:00:06,316 "Wendy Harris, Nurse Supervisor." 3 00:00:06,401 --> 00:00:08,066 You got a promotion? 4 00:00:08,151 --> 00:00:10,119 Your last name is Harris? 5 00:00:10,549 --> 00:00:12,473 I'm so happy, I'm not even gonna let that bother me. 6 00:00:12,557 --> 00:00:14,807 - Aw, good for you. - CHRISTY: Congratulations! 7 00:00:14,955 --> 00:00:16,854 You work so hard, you deserve this. 8 00:00:17,637 --> 00:00:19,381 Are you being sarcastic? 9 00:00:20,354 --> 00:00:21,385 Not at all. 10 00:00:21,470 --> 00:00:23,362 In fact, I would like to propose a toast 11 00:00:23,447 --> 00:00:25,822 - to our dear friend... - Please don't ruin this for me. 12 00:00:26,104 --> 00:00:28,158 I'm being sincere. 13 00:00:28,265 --> 00:00:29,312 Are you? 14 00:00:29,397 --> 00:00:30,488 Yes! 15 00:00:30,573 --> 00:00:32,776 I'm genuinely proud of her. 16 00:00:32,923 --> 00:00:35,599 Mom, stop. You're not fooling us. 17 00:00:36,192 --> 00:00:38,963 Fine. It was exhausting, anyway. 18 00:00:39,674 --> 00:00:41,737 Well, now this is officially a celebration. 19 00:00:41,822 --> 00:00:43,698 Order whatever you want. It's on us. 20 00:00:43,783 --> 00:00:45,175 Thanks, I'm just gonna have soup. 21 00:00:45,260 --> 00:00:47,316 Soup? I say go big or go home. 22 00:00:47,401 --> 00:00:48,784 Get the sicken cheeser. 23 00:00:49,244 --> 00:00:51,011 What's a sicken cheeser? 24 00:00:51,096 --> 00:00:52,737 [groans] I meant the chicken Caesar. 25 00:00:52,822 --> 00:00:54,322 Damn it, I keep flipping my words. 26 00:00:54,541 --> 00:00:56,933 I know... you did it twice during your share today. 27 00:00:57,018 --> 00:00:58,932 You sounded cricken frazy. 28 00:00:59,494 --> 00:01:01,019 I don't know what's going on. 29 00:01:01,104 --> 00:01:02,783 Maybe it's 'cause I'm not sleeping. 30 00:01:02,955 --> 00:01:06,713 Is that 'cause you and Andy are "takin' care of bidness"? 31 00:01:06,915 --> 00:01:09,284 No, it's 'cause no matter how low I set the thermostat, 32 00:01:09,369 --> 00:01:11,815 I still wake up like I just walked out of a sauna. 33 00:01:12,049 --> 00:01:14,952 From "takin' care of bidness"? 34 00:01:16,447 --> 00:01:19,416 Sweetie? Watch some porn or something. 35 00:01:20,260 --> 00:01:22,307 I do. It doesn't help. 36 00:01:23,337 --> 00:01:25,612 Have you seen your doctor? Maybe you're in perimenopause. 37 00:01:25,697 --> 00:01:27,907 Maybe you are, bitch. 38 00:01:30,782 --> 00:01:32,948 Sorry. I've also been irritable. 39 00:01:33,033 --> 00:01:35,081 You know, I usually have nothing but love for you in my heart, 40 00:01:35,166 --> 00:01:37,261 but calling Wendy a "B" on her special "D" 41 00:01:37,346 --> 00:01:39,455 is totally "NC." 42 00:01:40,409 --> 00:01:41,971 Not Cool. 43 00:01:43,393 --> 00:01:45,316 You're right. Let me make it up to you. 44 00:01:45,401 --> 00:01:46,612 After the meeting this Friday, 45 00:01:46,697 --> 00:01:48,565 I'll take us all to my club for lunch. 46 00:01:48,854 --> 00:01:50,759 Thanks, Jill. That's so nice of you. 47 00:01:51,081 --> 00:01:52,346 And for what's it's worth, 48 00:01:52,430 --> 00:01:55,386 I still think going to your doctor is a good idea. 49 00:01:55,471 --> 00:01:58,697 Well, keep it to yourself, you toothless old dragon. 50 00:02:00,955 --> 00:02:02,697 I'm... I'm gonna call my doctor now. 51 00:02:02,782 --> 00:02:04,004 Yeah. 52 00:02:04,132 --> 00:02:06,604 ♪♪ 53 00:02:25,824 --> 00:02:27,746 I've never been to a country club before. 54 00:02:27,831 --> 00:02:30,151 I mean, once I ran naked across a golf course. 55 00:02:30,347 --> 00:02:33,133 It's so much further than you think it's gonna be. 56 00:02:34,326 --> 00:02:37,375 Hi. My name is Bonnie, and I look fabulous. 57 00:02:37,460 --> 00:02:40,249 Hi. My name is Christy, and... 58 00:02:40,395 --> 00:02:41,703 yeah... 59 00:02:41,819 --> 00:02:43,128 [others laughing] 60 00:02:43,213 --> 00:02:45,111 Hey, did you guys check out the menu for the club? 61 00:02:45,195 --> 00:02:46,417 We looked it up online. 62 00:02:46,517 --> 00:02:48,329 Lot of shellfish. 63 00:02:48,908 --> 00:02:50,174 You know that ribeye for two? 64 00:02:50,258 --> 00:02:52,915 If I get it for myself, would you guys judge me? 65 00:02:54,595 --> 00:02:57,158 Well, I hope you're happy. I just went to my doctor, 66 00:02:57,243 --> 00:02:59,005 and it turns out I am in peri-meni-pause. 67 00:02:59,135 --> 00:03:00,574 Peri-meno-pause. 68 00:03:00,659 --> 00:03:03,251 Do not correct a woman in peri-meni-pause. 69 00:03:04,158 --> 00:03:05,604 Oh, uh, look, honey, we all go through it. 70 00:03:05,688 --> 00:03:07,006 It's natural. 71 00:03:07,231 --> 00:03:08,791 Since when do I care about natural? 72 00:03:08,983 --> 00:03:10,774 I have worked so hard to stay sober 73 00:03:10,884 --> 00:03:13,019 so that I can be in control of what I say and what I do 74 00:03:13,103 --> 00:03:14,720 and what I throw across the room. 75 00:03:14,809 --> 00:03:16,859 And now, just when I'm feeling like I got it all together, 76 00:03:16,943 --> 00:03:20,548 my hormones are like, "Screw you! I'm your higher power now!" 77 00:03:20,760 --> 00:03:22,553 I'm not sure if I went through perimenopause. 78 00:03:22,638 --> 00:03:23,751 I was in prison at the time. 79 00:03:23,836 --> 00:03:26,025 Everyone was hot, cranky and throwin' stuff. 80 00:03:26,110 --> 00:03:28,855 And by "stuff," I mean people. 81 00:03:29,808 --> 00:03:31,925 The doctor said this could last a decade. 82 00:03:32,050 --> 00:03:33,521 A decade! 83 00:03:33,605 --> 00:03:35,316 We're moving. 84 00:03:35,808 --> 00:03:38,434 Well, it's usually much shorter than that. 85 00:03:38,519 --> 00:03:41,529 I had a few mild symptoms and then boom, over. 86 00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:44,750 And I've really felt like I was in my power ever since. 87 00:03:44,948 --> 00:03:46,360 Plus, no more condoms. 88 00:03:46,444 --> 00:03:48,332 Oh, good. Remind me that my baby-maker's 89 00:03:48,417 --> 00:03:49,418 going out of business. 90 00:03:49,503 --> 00:03:50,669 Right when I finally have a guy 91 00:03:50,753 --> 00:03:52,589 I might actually want to make a baby with. 92 00:03:52,677 --> 00:03:54,856 Sorry, could you repeat what you just said? 93 00:03:54,941 --> 00:03:57,944 'Cause I went deaf when Marjorie said "condoms." 94 00:03:59,022 --> 00:04:01,277 ♪♪ 95 00:04:01,889 --> 00:04:04,559 Are you sure we can't sit down, maybe get started 96 00:04:04,644 --> 00:04:06,769 with a little pickle plate or something? 97 00:04:06,980 --> 00:04:09,636 As I told you before, I can't seat your party 98 00:04:09,721 --> 00:04:11,464 until the club member arrives. 99 00:04:11,597 --> 00:04:13,344 And as I told you before, 100 00:04:13,527 --> 00:04:16,344 okay, we'll be right over there. 101 00:04:18,503 --> 00:04:20,133 Christy, you've been kind of quiet. 102 00:04:20,217 --> 00:04:21,567 Are you okay? 103 00:04:21,652 --> 00:04:22,831 I'm fine. 104 00:04:23,136 --> 00:04:24,737 I just got some bad news. 105 00:04:24,948 --> 00:04:26,270 I don't want to make it about me. 106 00:04:26,354 --> 00:04:28,261 It's Wendy's day. Wait for it. 107 00:04:28,346 --> 00:04:30,534 It's just, I didn't get picked for moot court. 108 00:04:30,619 --> 00:04:32,581 What's that? They make believe they're lawyers. 109 00:04:32,666 --> 00:04:34,975 How am I ever gonna be taken seriously as a lawyer 110 00:04:35,060 --> 00:04:36,184 if I can't even make moot court 111 00:04:36,268 --> 00:04:38,698 at a law school next to a car wash? 112 00:04:39,036 --> 00:04:40,605 I don't know where I went wrong. 113 00:04:40,690 --> 00:04:43,800 I put my name in early, I sucked up to the professors, 114 00:04:43,917 --> 00:04:46,114 and I can see you in the mirror! 115 00:04:46,199 --> 00:04:48,300 And I see you, too. Hi. 116 00:04:49,610 --> 00:04:51,136 [phone chimes twice] 117 00:04:51,223 --> 00:04:52,979 It's Jill. 118 00:04:53,738 --> 00:04:55,023 She's not coming. 119 00:04:55,108 --> 00:04:56,591 - Seriously? - What?! - Aw. 120 00:04:56,675 --> 00:04:58,240 She is, and I quote, 121 00:04:58,325 --> 00:05:01,466 "going home to have Andy put a baby in it." 122 00:05:01,606 --> 00:05:03,395 What about our lunch? 123 00:05:04,097 --> 00:05:05,991 She says she'll make it up to you. 124 00:05:06,286 --> 00:05:08,598 Well, now you've already seen me in this dress. 125 00:05:08,716 --> 00:05:10,692 It's my first time wearing coral. 126 00:05:10,978 --> 00:05:12,458 Hang on. 127 00:05:13,590 --> 00:05:14,913 Hello, sir. 128 00:05:15,192 --> 00:05:18,480 Would you like to have lunch with five beautiful women? 129 00:05:19,250 --> 00:05:21,630 There won't be a big bar bill! 130 00:05:26,444 --> 00:05:27,880 ♪♪ 131 00:05:28,011 --> 00:05:29,102 Hi. 132 00:05:29,186 --> 00:05:30,763 Hi. What are you doing home? 133 00:05:30,848 --> 00:05:32,576 I thought you were having a big lunch for Christy. 134 00:05:32,660 --> 00:05:34,747 - Wendy. - They all kind of blend. 135 00:05:35,661 --> 00:05:37,451 By the way, thanks for always having 136 00:05:37,536 --> 00:05:38,942 bread and ham in your house. 137 00:05:39,027 --> 00:05:41,250 - Oh, it's 'cause I love you. - Oh. 138 00:05:42,216 --> 00:05:43,466 You know, if you really love me, 139 00:05:43,551 --> 00:05:44,646 you could spring for some Miracle Whip. 140 00:05:44,730 --> 00:05:48,128 I know. Girls hate it, but guys love it. 141 00:05:48,303 --> 00:05:51,373 Sure. And in return, can we make a baby? 142 00:05:51,458 --> 00:05:54,717 I know. Guys hate it, but girls love it. 143 00:05:55,680 --> 00:05:57,561 Wha... uh... [clears throat] 144 00:05:58,069 --> 00:05:59,682 What? 145 00:05:59,947 --> 00:06:01,365 Here's the thing. 146 00:06:01,465 --> 00:06:03,521 - What? - Well... 147 00:06:04,716 --> 00:06:07,412 it's just that we have been together for almost a year now, 148 00:06:07,497 --> 00:06:10,873 and I'm not getting any younger, so, you know... baby. 149 00:06:13,411 --> 00:06:15,584 I'm gonna sit down for a second. 150 00:06:16,922 --> 00:06:19,348 - Is that a no? - No, you know, it's just 151 00:06:19,433 --> 00:06:21,632 I-I came here to make lunch... had a little bit 152 00:06:21,717 --> 00:06:22,944 of an issue with the sandwich spread. 153 00:06:23,028 --> 00:06:24,815 That was gonna be my... 154 00:06:25,057 --> 00:06:27,678 big dilemma o' the day. 155 00:06:27,901 --> 00:06:30,592 Well, now it's: should we or shouldn't we make a person. 156 00:06:30,677 --> 00:06:32,467 What do you think? 157 00:06:32,928 --> 00:06:34,542 Jill, I, um... 158 00:06:34,706 --> 00:06:37,796 I'm sorry, I-I didn't see this coming on so quick. 159 00:06:39,098 --> 00:06:40,617 You know how on our first date, 160 00:06:40,725 --> 00:06:44,380 you said, "What are you, like, 35?" and I just smiled? 161 00:06:46,849 --> 00:06:48,740 I'm 40. 162 00:06:49,211 --> 00:06:51,357 And 18 months. 163 00:06:52,973 --> 00:06:54,543 Okay. 164 00:06:54,646 --> 00:06:57,521 [sighs] But I think I'd be a great mom. 165 00:06:57,606 --> 00:06:59,524 And I know ou'd be a great dad. 166 00:06:59,643 --> 00:07:00,951 I mean, you're so strong. 167 00:07:01,036 --> 00:07:03,386 Just think how high you could toss a baby. 168 00:07:04,125 --> 00:07:05,825 I would never toss a baby. 169 00:07:06,041 --> 00:07:08,106 Look at you. You passed the test! 170 00:07:08,191 --> 00:07:09,207 Let's get to breedin'. 171 00:07:09,292 --> 00:07:10,739 Okay, uh, listen... 172 00:07:12,024 --> 00:07:15,934 babe, I-I get that your clock is ticking, 173 00:07:16,019 --> 00:07:17,719 but I'm-I'm just... 174 00:07:18,104 --> 00:07:19,620 [sighs] 175 00:07:19,973 --> 00:07:21,714 I'm not sure that we're... 176 00:07:22,286 --> 00:07:23,691 there yet. 177 00:07:25,127 --> 00:07:26,520 Oh. 178 00:07:28,527 --> 00:07:29,933 You're right. 179 00:07:30,152 --> 00:07:31,979 You're right. Forget I brought it up. 180 00:07:34,533 --> 00:07:37,769 [grandfather clock chiming the hour] 181 00:07:39,685 --> 00:07:41,841 That's not you, is it? 182 00:07:43,544 --> 00:07:45,317 ♪♪ 183 00:07:49,351 --> 00:07:50,630 What? 184 00:07:51,245 --> 00:07:53,473 Nothing. I just love 185 00:07:53,558 --> 00:07:55,489 the one night a week the bar is closed 186 00:07:55,598 --> 00:07:57,448 and we get to go to bed at the same time. 187 00:07:57,533 --> 00:07:58,839 Me, too. I get to read a little. 188 00:07:58,924 --> 00:08:02,042 Oh, wait, was that code? 'Cause if it's code, just say so. 189 00:08:02,206 --> 00:08:03,737 No, no code. 190 00:08:04,868 --> 00:08:06,050 Just as well. 191 00:08:06,135 --> 00:08:07,965 This book is about to unlock the mystery 192 00:08:08,050 --> 00:08:09,659 of compound interest for me. 193 00:08:09,744 --> 00:08:11,098 Can you rub some lotion on my back? 194 00:08:11,182 --> 00:08:13,112 Uh, sure. Wait, is this code? 195 00:08:13,331 --> 00:08:15,333 Nothing is code. Oh, okay. 196 00:08:17,878 --> 00:08:20,109 Do you ever wonder what it would be like if we'd a kid? 197 00:08:20,193 --> 00:08:23,253 [exhales] We'd be in The Guinness Book of World Records, 198 00:08:23,338 --> 00:08:25,821 - so that'd be sweet. - [chuckles] 199 00:08:26,242 --> 00:08:29,205 I mean if we'd met during our childbearing years. 200 00:08:29,406 --> 00:08:31,453 Yeah, I guess it's crossed my mind. 201 00:08:31,606 --> 00:08:33,204 We'd be the coolest parents. 202 00:08:33,289 --> 00:08:35,688 And as a result, our kid would be spectacular. 203 00:08:36,078 --> 00:08:38,360 He'd probably be tall, which is great. 204 00:08:38,483 --> 00:08:40,275 "He." I like that. 205 00:08:40,360 --> 00:08:41,836 I already ruined a she. 206 00:08:42,188 --> 00:08:43,353 He'd be funny. 207 00:08:43,619 --> 00:08:45,058 - He'd be outgoing. - Mm. 208 00:08:45,617 --> 00:08:48,196 He'd have the hair of a sexy Troll doll. 209 00:08:49,562 --> 00:08:52,133 And I guess he'd say what he thinks whenever he felt like it 210 00:08:52,225 --> 00:08:54,180 no matter how hurtful. 211 00:08:55,010 --> 00:08:56,885 And I guess he'd also be super sensitive. 212 00:08:56,969 --> 00:09:00,074 Which is better than him being super insensitive. 213 00:09:00,332 --> 00:09:02,237 Well, he'd also be passive-aggressive. 214 00:09:02,322 --> 00:09:05,059 And likely have addiction issues. 215 00:09:05,551 --> 00:09:08,069 And be in a wheelchair. 216 00:09:08,154 --> 00:09:10,882 Yeah, snowboarding off a cliff isn't hereditary. 217 00:09:10,967 --> 00:09:13,147 Is always needing to feel right hereditary? 218 00:09:13,232 --> 00:09:14,801 If it is, our kid is doomed. 219 00:09:14,886 --> 00:09:16,929 Yeah, I'm starting to not like our son. 220 00:09:17,014 --> 00:09:19,411 Yeah, he does sound like a bit of a douche. 221 00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:21,953 But I'll tell you one thing: with you as a father, 222 00:09:22,037 --> 00:09:23,564 he'd be gorgeous. 223 00:09:24,094 --> 00:09:25,509 [chuckles]: Thanks. 224 00:09:26,545 --> 00:09:28,158 What are you doing? That was code. 225 00:09:28,243 --> 00:09:29,469 Wha...? Oh. 226 00:09:34,527 --> 00:09:35,666 How was school? 227 00:09:35,751 --> 00:09:36,798 Did you ask your professor 228 00:09:36,883 --> 00:09:38,755 why you didn't get chosen for mute court? 229 00:09:39,520 --> 00:09:41,902 Mootcourt, and I don't want to talk about it. 230 00:09:41,987 --> 00:09:43,513 - Okay. - Really? 231 00:09:43,598 --> 00:09:44,733 You're walking away? 232 00:09:44,894 --> 00:09:47,236 That was clearly a cry for help. 233 00:09:47,994 --> 00:09:49,134 [knocking on door] 234 00:09:49,282 --> 00:09:50,880 So, you-you want to talk about it? 235 00:09:50,972 --> 00:09:52,806 Oh, my God, no. 236 00:09:55,313 --> 00:09:57,017 Exciting news, people. 237 00:09:57,140 --> 00:09:58,623 Andy put a baby in it? 238 00:09:58,708 --> 00:10:00,930 Not yet and maybe not soon and maybe not ever, 239 00:10:01,015 --> 00:10:03,331 so, I'm gonna freeze my eggs. 240 00:10:03,416 --> 00:10:05,853 Good for you, taking matters into your own hands. 241 00:10:05,938 --> 00:10:07,064 Exactly. [clears throat] 242 00:10:07,213 --> 00:10:09,041 Freezing eggs is like freezing time. 243 00:10:09,126 --> 00:10:11,697 I can thaw them out, hit them with a dash of sperm 244 00:10:11,782 --> 00:10:13,736 and use them whenever I'm ready. 245 00:10:15,197 --> 00:10:16,884 Isn't that really expensive? 246 00:10:16,969 --> 00:10:18,009 Yeah, well, I thought so, too, 247 00:10:18,093 --> 00:10:20,313 but it's only $30,000. 248 00:10:22,947 --> 00:10:24,841 I've already been to the doctor. 249 00:10:24,926 --> 00:10:27,104 I have to take a series of these fertility shots 250 00:10:27,189 --> 00:10:28,142 to get me all eggy, 251 00:10:28,227 --> 00:10:30,282 but I need a partner to help me with the injections. 252 00:10:30,367 --> 00:10:32,197 So, Christy, 253 00:10:32,281 --> 00:10:33,808 would you be my partner? 254 00:10:34,078 --> 00:10:35,234 I'd love to. 255 00:10:35,319 --> 00:10:36,540 Great! 256 00:10:36,625 --> 00:10:38,891 Doctor said you should practice on a grapefruit. 257 00:10:38,976 --> 00:10:39,806 So here you go. 258 00:10:39,891 --> 00:10:40,953 Yay! 259 00:10:41,108 --> 00:10:42,882 Homework that's easy! 260 00:10:43,261 --> 00:10:45,628 Isn't this something your boyfriend should do? 261 00:10:45,823 --> 00:10:47,424 No, I decided not to tell him. 262 00:10:47,509 --> 00:10:50,167 I don't want him to think I'm obsessed with having a child. 263 00:10:50,252 --> 00:10:52,323 What do you think of the name Pearl? 264 00:10:54,408 --> 00:10:55,635 Hate. 265 00:10:55,720 --> 00:10:57,862 Second grade, Pearl Fleming cut off my pigtail. 266 00:10:58,001 --> 00:11:00,784 And you did nothing to deserve that? 267 00:11:02,220 --> 00:11:03,603 Fine. Name your baby Pearl, 268 00:11:03,688 --> 00:11:05,831 but we will have a complicated relationship. 269 00:11:07,565 --> 00:11:08,682 Thanks for doing this. 270 00:11:08,767 --> 00:11:10,163 What about Wendy? She's a nurse. 271 00:11:10,248 --> 00:11:12,086 Mom, I finally got picked for something. 272 00:11:12,171 --> 00:11:13,690 Let me have this. 273 00:11:20,058 --> 00:11:21,584 - Ready? - Mm. 274 00:11:21,746 --> 00:11:23,100 Did you practice? 275 00:11:23,185 --> 00:11:25,462 Every grapefruit in our house is ready to give birth. 276 00:11:25,547 --> 00:11:26,548 Okay. 277 00:11:27,651 --> 00:11:28,742 What's that? 278 00:11:29,092 --> 00:11:30,139 An alcohol wipe. 279 00:11:30,225 --> 00:11:31,273 Ooh, alcohol. 280 00:11:31,358 --> 00:11:32,623 Should we call Marjorie? 281 00:11:32,708 --> 00:11:34,873 Just don't put it in a glass with an olive, 282 00:11:34,958 --> 00:11:36,506 and we'll be fine. 283 00:11:37,391 --> 00:11:39,527 [mutters] [whimpers] 284 00:11:39,612 --> 00:11:40,725 What? 285 00:11:40,834 --> 00:11:42,705 I have an intense fear of needles. 286 00:11:42,811 --> 00:11:44,452 Which is why I became an alcoholic, 287 00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:47,436 even though heroin has less calories. 288 00:11:47,660 --> 00:11:49,850 - Just breathe. - [inhales, exhales] 289 00:11:49,935 --> 00:11:52,936 Now, I'm supposed to inject you two inches under your navel 290 00:11:53,021 --> 00:11:55,429 by pinching a small section of your fat. 291 00:11:55,514 --> 00:11:56,629 'Kay. 292 00:11:57,897 --> 00:11:59,939 All right, stop flexing. 293 00:12:00,139 --> 00:12:01,419 Sorry. 294 00:12:01,503 --> 00:12:02,686 [groans] 295 00:12:02,771 --> 00:12:04,863 There's not much to work with here. 296 00:12:05,028 --> 00:12:07,120 I will pass that compliment on to my trainers, 297 00:12:07,204 --> 00:12:09,122 Alfonso and Katya. 298 00:12:09,279 --> 00:12:10,522 Ooh! 299 00:12:10,607 --> 00:12:12,342 Calm down. Focus on the fact 300 00:12:12,471 --> 00:12:13,960 that you're lucky enough to be able to do this, 301 00:12:14,044 --> 00:12:15,049 'cause not everyone can. 302 00:12:15,343 --> 00:12:16,504 Wait a minute. 303 00:12:16,589 --> 00:12:18,183 Do you want to do this? 304 00:12:18,415 --> 00:12:20,246 Me? 305 00:12:20,589 --> 00:12:21,639 I don't know. 306 00:12:21,723 --> 00:12:22,738 Doesn't matter. 307 00:12:22,823 --> 00:12:24,081 I could never afford it. 308 00:12:24,166 --> 00:12:25,686 Christy, you're like a sister to me. 309 00:12:25,771 --> 00:12:27,947 If you want to freeze your eggs, I'll pay for it. 310 00:12:29,187 --> 00:12:30,670 You would? 311 00:12:31,230 --> 00:12:33,269 Yeah, we could go through this together. 312 00:12:34,942 --> 00:12:36,982 You would give me $30,000? 313 00:12:37,083 --> 00:12:38,818 Well, I wouldn't give it to you, 314 00:12:38,903 --> 00:12:40,821 because of, you know, your gambling history, 315 00:12:40,906 --> 00:12:43,042 but I would give it to the egg people. 316 00:12:43,796 --> 00:12:46,351 That's so incredibly generous. 317 00:12:46,618 --> 00:12:47,839 Okay. 318 00:12:48,124 --> 00:12:49,450 Give me the shot. 319 00:12:49,718 --> 00:12:50,842 [exhales]I already did. 320 00:12:50,926 --> 00:12:52,032 When you offered me the money, 321 00:12:52,116 --> 00:12:54,351 I flinched and it slid right in. 322 00:12:54,969 --> 00:12:55,973 Wow. 323 00:12:56,105 --> 00:12:57,468 Well, that didn't hurt at all. 324 00:12:57,657 --> 00:12:59,532 I hope the baby pops out that easy. 325 00:12:59,929 --> 00:13:02,562 Oh, don't worry. They do. 326 00:13:05,272 --> 00:13:07,563 This grilled cheese is delicious. 327 00:13:07,648 --> 00:13:10,765 I went crazy and mixed cheddar with American. 328 00:13:11,632 --> 00:13:12,804 Two kinds of cheese. 329 00:13:12,889 --> 00:13:15,031 Did you run into some money I didn't know about? 330 00:13:15,116 --> 00:13:16,288 [door closes] 331 00:13:18,139 --> 00:13:19,999 I am gonna be up all night. 332 00:13:20,084 --> 00:13:21,109 What's wrong? 333 00:13:21,194 --> 00:13:23,093 Jill said if I wanted to freeze my eggs, 334 00:13:23,222 --> 00:13:24,718 she'd pay for it. 335 00:13:25,171 --> 00:13:27,296 Y-You want to freeze your eggs? 336 00:13:27,381 --> 00:13:28,540 I don't know. [exhales] 337 00:13:28,625 --> 00:13:30,064 I mean, it's kind of invasive. 338 00:13:30,218 --> 00:13:31,859 They put a needle in your vagina. 339 00:13:31,944 --> 00:13:33,035 Okay. 340 00:13:33,158 --> 00:13:35,030 I'm gonna take Gus for a walk. 341 00:13:35,486 --> 00:13:36,749 Come on! 342 00:13:37,648 --> 00:13:39,359 Would you want to have another kid? 343 00:13:40,148 --> 00:13:42,921 I wouldn't mind a chance to do it sober. 344 00:13:43,279 --> 00:13:45,763 Remembering Christmas concerts, 345 00:13:45,894 --> 00:13:48,070 showing up for soccer games, 346 00:13:48,325 --> 00:13:50,531 keeping my clothes on in the ball pit 347 00:13:50,616 --> 00:13:52,570 at Chuck E. Cheese. 348 00:13:53,062 --> 00:13:55,898 Hey, anyone who doesn't think about getting naked 349 00:13:55,983 --> 00:13:58,421 in one of those things is lying to themselves. 350 00:13:58,506 --> 00:14:00,075 - Thank you. - Mm. 351 00:14:00,358 --> 00:14:02,210 [sighs] I guess if I'm gonna harvest my eggs, 352 00:14:02,295 --> 00:14:03,452 I should do it now. 353 00:14:03,537 --> 00:14:06,210 My period has been extremely irregular lately. 354 00:14:06,295 --> 00:14:07,415 ADAM: Hang on, please! 355 00:14:07,500 --> 00:14:09,366 Just looking for the leash! 356 00:14:09,813 --> 00:14:11,195 And when my period does come, 357 00:14:11,280 --> 00:14:13,312 the flow is like Niagara Falls! 358 00:14:13,409 --> 00:14:14,710 Just whoosh! 359 00:14:14,795 --> 00:14:15,838 ADAM: I don't need Gus! 360 00:14:15,923 --> 00:14:17,406 I'm just leaving! 361 00:14:17,491 --> 00:14:18,974 [door closes] 362 00:14:19,058 --> 00:14:20,371 Hmm? 363 00:14:21,288 --> 00:14:22,814 Do you think it's a terrible idea? 364 00:14:23,652 --> 00:14:25,044 If you want to do it, 365 00:14:25,129 --> 00:14:26,350 I'm all in. 366 00:14:27,103 --> 00:14:28,261 - Seriously? - Yeah. 367 00:14:28,517 --> 00:14:29,668 Just put your eggs on ice. 368 00:14:29,753 --> 00:14:31,290 And then, after law school, we'll get Jill 369 00:14:31,374 --> 00:14:32,559 to buy you some Olympic sperm, 370 00:14:32,643 --> 00:14:34,300 and we'll raise a super baby. 371 00:14:34,640 --> 00:14:35,905 Okay. 372 00:14:35,990 --> 00:14:37,589 Okay, let's do this. 373 00:14:39,895 --> 00:14:42,553 But I wouldn't want to do it right after law school, 374 00:14:42,667 --> 00:14:44,263 'cause, you know, I'll want to give myself 375 00:14:44,347 --> 00:14:46,036 a couple years to get established. 376 00:14:46,128 --> 00:14:47,263 So in five years? 377 00:14:47,589 --> 00:14:49,355 I might want to try and go for partner, 378 00:14:49,456 --> 00:14:50,519 so I may need nine. 379 00:14:50,604 --> 00:14:52,261 - Okay, great. - So... 380 00:14:52,581 --> 00:14:55,674 when the kid graduates high school, you'll be, uh... 381 00:14:55,766 --> 00:14:57,467 [exhales] ...68. 382 00:14:57,560 --> 00:14:59,695 And if my math is correct, I'll be... 383 00:15:00,238 --> 00:15:02,542 [sighs] ...67. 384 00:15:04,971 --> 00:15:06,933 Mm, but are you sure? 385 00:15:07,018 --> 00:15:09,937 Because it sounds like you don't want to have a baby... 386 00:15:10,022 --> 00:15:11,331 You want to have a career. 387 00:15:11,983 --> 00:15:14,538 Well, then why am I considering having a baby? 388 00:15:14,623 --> 00:15:16,279 Because you didn't get into moot court. 389 00:15:16,506 --> 00:15:17,741 That's ridiculous. 390 00:15:17,826 --> 00:15:19,413 [scoffs softly] Wait for it. 391 00:15:20,377 --> 00:15:22,631 Oh. Damn, there's no one here. 392 00:15:23,488 --> 00:15:24,753 Oh, my God. 393 00:15:25,016 --> 00:15:26,668 I was totally about to have a baby 394 00:15:26,753 --> 00:15:27,905 because I didn't get a part 395 00:15:28,005 --> 00:15:31,168 in what is basically the law school play. 396 00:15:31,616 --> 00:15:35,043 Hey, I had you because I needed a ride home from a flea market. 397 00:15:38,762 --> 00:15:40,254 JILL: Natalie! 398 00:15:40,548 --> 00:15:42,372 In here! 399 00:15:44,081 --> 00:15:45,403 Do you like this dress? 400 00:15:45,488 --> 00:15:46,526 Tell me the truth. 401 00:15:46,611 --> 00:15:47,700 I love it. 402 00:15:47,785 --> 00:15:48,642 Are you sure? 403 00:15:48,727 --> 00:15:49,904 'Cause I'm so hopped up on hormones, 404 00:15:49,988 --> 00:15:51,949 I don't know who I am anymore. 405 00:15:52,131 --> 00:15:53,964 It's more flowers than usual. 406 00:15:54,160 --> 00:15:55,620 You hate it. 407 00:15:55,705 --> 00:15:58,253 I look like a funeral wreath for a drag queen. 408 00:15:59,173 --> 00:16:01,961 No, no, no, no, no, no. You really pull it off. 409 00:16:02,046 --> 00:16:03,902 I think so. 410 00:16:04,778 --> 00:16:06,870 How many more of these shots are you getting? 411 00:16:06,955 --> 00:16:08,660 Oh, only two to go. 412 00:16:08,745 --> 00:16:10,138 Thank God. 413 00:16:12,535 --> 00:16:14,378 Wow! Look at you. 414 00:16:14,463 --> 00:16:16,294 What's that supposed to mean? 415 00:16:16,738 --> 00:16:18,368 Good luck. 416 00:16:20,430 --> 00:16:21,706 You all right? 417 00:16:21,791 --> 00:16:22,910 Yeah. Why? 418 00:16:23,411 --> 00:16:25,895 Well, this week has been a little... 419 00:16:26,026 --> 00:16:28,472 "I'm dating Judy Garland." 420 00:16:29,649 --> 00:16:31,869 Hey, you made me watch that movie. 421 00:16:33,031 --> 00:16:34,769 You think I'm crazy? 422 00:16:36,027 --> 00:16:37,175 [chuckles]: No. 423 00:16:37,260 --> 00:16:39,316 No. No, if anything, 424 00:16:39,401 --> 00:16:41,449 I think that, not unlike Ms. Garland, 425 00:16:41,534 --> 00:16:42,980 you're-you're under a lot of stress 426 00:16:43,065 --> 00:16:45,839 that the-the world doesn't know about. 427 00:16:47,574 --> 00:16:51,665 Man, that movie really had an impact on me. 428 00:16:52,499 --> 00:16:54,110 I'm freezing my eggs. 429 00:16:55,667 --> 00:16:56,933 What? 430 00:16:57,037 --> 00:16:58,259 I'm jammed full of hormones, 431 00:16:58,344 --> 00:17:00,479 and I'm out of my ever-lovin' mind. 432 00:17:00,641 --> 00:17:01,819 Oh. 433 00:17:02,019 --> 00:17:04,214 Honey, why would you keep that a secret? 434 00:17:04,941 --> 00:17:06,685 'Cause I thought if I told you, 435 00:17:06,964 --> 00:17:08,941 you'd feel like I was trying to push a kid on you, 436 00:17:09,026 --> 00:17:12,613 you'd dump me and then I'd be sitting here with no boyfriend, 437 00:17:12,698 --> 00:17:15,875 no baby and a fridge full of Miracle Whip. 438 00:17:17,719 --> 00:17:19,449 Okay. Um... [clears throat] 439 00:17:19,534 --> 00:17:22,902 I'm gonna have to be extremely careful with what I say here. 440 00:17:23,489 --> 00:17:25,233 I love you. 441 00:17:25,740 --> 00:17:27,105 Yeah, that's good. 442 00:17:27,218 --> 00:17:28,875 Um... 443 00:17:29,077 --> 00:17:31,643 I was just... surprised. 444 00:17:31,753 --> 00:17:34,112 You know, the-the baby stuff just... 445 00:17:34,662 --> 00:17:35,884 caught me a little off guard. 446 00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:37,682 I know. I'm so sorry. 447 00:17:37,767 --> 00:17:38,987 No, it's okay. 448 00:17:39,072 --> 00:17:40,947 I see that this is huge for you. 449 00:17:41,253 --> 00:17:42,550 You do? 450 00:17:42,821 --> 00:17:44,838 'Cause I was trying to hide it. 451 00:17:45,645 --> 00:17:48,440 And you were doing a masterful job. 452 00:17:48,838 --> 00:17:49,791 Now, look, 453 00:17:49,876 --> 00:17:51,620 I can admit that I'm... 454 00:17:51,853 --> 00:17:53,423 probably not ready to be a father. 455 00:17:53,508 --> 00:17:56,645 But... when I picture my future, 456 00:17:57,306 --> 00:17:58,745 you're in it. 457 00:18:01,045 --> 00:18:03,396 I just want to take our time, 458 00:18:03,557 --> 00:18:05,299 make sure that we get it right. 459 00:18:07,307 --> 00:18:09,479 So you're fine with this whole freezing eggs thing? 460 00:18:09,564 --> 00:18:11,221 Yeah, I think it's a great idea. 461 00:18:11,861 --> 00:18:13,003 I love you. 462 00:18:13,088 --> 00:18:14,440 [chuckles] 463 00:18:14,591 --> 00:18:15,809 [chuckles] 464 00:18:19,571 --> 00:18:22,128 I don't have to freeze anything, do I? 465 00:18:24,066 --> 00:18:25,190 No. 466 00:18:25,585 --> 00:18:27,981 Your stuff has the shelf life of a Twinkie.Oh. 467 00:18:28,166 --> 00:18:29,378 Great. 468 00:18:38,541 --> 00:18:40,369 [soothing music playing] 469 00:18:40,454 --> 00:18:41,458 You know, 470 00:18:41,518 --> 00:18:42,609 when I heard "sugar scrub," 471 00:18:42,694 --> 00:18:44,045 I thought it was crazy. 472 00:18:44,129 --> 00:18:45,960 But I am clean, I am relaxed 473 00:18:46,044 --> 00:18:49,379 and I taste like an Abba-Zaba bar. 474 00:18:51,753 --> 00:18:55,682 Jill, this is a great way to celebrate Wendy's promotion. 475 00:18:55,856 --> 00:18:57,624 Eh, too bad we all thought 476 00:18:57,708 --> 00:19:00,451 it was somebody else's job to invite her. 477 00:19:01,091 --> 00:19:02,849 I'll make it up to her. 478 00:19:02,934 --> 00:19:05,526 I would like to be a part of whatever that is. 479 00:19:05,641 --> 00:19:07,558 I'm just gonna say two words. 480 00:19:07,643 --> 00:19:09,461 Disney cruise. 481 00:19:10,044 --> 00:19:11,580 [phone rings] 482 00:19:13,260 --> 00:19:14,824 It's my fertility doctor. 483 00:19:16,745 --> 00:19:18,069 [exhales] 484 00:19:18,246 --> 00:19:19,639 Hi, Dr. Dubois. 485 00:19:20,925 --> 00:19:22,373 Uh-huh. 486 00:19:22,467 --> 00:19:23,670 Okay. 487 00:19:23,754 --> 00:19:25,455 Thanks for letting me know. 488 00:19:25,623 --> 00:19:27,045 Bye-bye. 489 00:19:27,130 --> 00:19:28,494 So? 490 00:19:28,579 --> 00:19:30,018 What's our egg count? 491 00:19:30,177 --> 00:19:31,293 Zero. 492 00:19:31,378 --> 00:19:32,825 What? 493 00:19:33,996 --> 00:19:35,855 None of them were viable. 494 00:19:37,137 --> 00:19:38,463 CHRISTY: Oh. 495 00:19:38,650 --> 00:19:40,206 Jill, I'm sorry. 496 00:19:40,437 --> 00:19:42,832 "Are you okay?" is a stupid question, but... 497 00:19:43,135 --> 00:19:44,528 are you? 498 00:19:45,580 --> 00:19:47,042 I don't know. 499 00:19:47,561 --> 00:19:49,520 I mean, I have come at this baby thing 500 00:19:49,605 --> 00:19:50,522 from so many different angles, 501 00:19:50,607 --> 00:19:52,873 and it's just not happening. 502 00:19:53,088 --> 00:19:55,090 But you can try again. 503 00:19:55,525 --> 00:19:57,028 Maybe. 504 00:19:59,398 --> 00:20:01,106 You want to go home? 505 00:20:03,816 --> 00:20:05,575 No. 506 00:20:06,316 --> 00:20:08,583 [voice breaking]: I just want to be with my friends. 35016

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