Original subtitles

IAIN STIRLING: This week's been a blockbuster

with two bombshells and one dramatic movie night.

Why are they laughing? Is that funny?

Oh, my God.

IAIN: But tonight, it's time to get back the feeling.

# What a feeling... #

IAIN: Please take your seats and turn off your phones

as we pay tribute to some of the greatest films

in Love Island history. Sorry, what?

IAIN: We've got Good Will Tickling.

# What a feeling.... #

IAIN: Bridesmaids.

BOTH: Girls rule, boys drool.

IAIN: Flashdancing and, of course, The Sound Of Music.

No! No, no.

IAIN: So, make sure you're looking like an A-lister Hollywood starlet.

Mum! Will's hungry!

IAIN: And remember, if it ain't hurting, it ain't working.

TOM SCREAMS Bet you can't do that.

IAIN: Get ready for a blockbuster hour of laughs...

# What a feeling... #

Oh, my God!

IAIN: ..and VIP partying.

Testing, testing, one, two, three.

IAIN: Join us for an unforgettable trip to La-La Land

because this is Love Island Unseen Bits.

You've either got it, or you don't got it.

# Damn, I miss you most On the weekend

# We go from the floor To the ceiling... #

IAIN: Welcome to Love Island Unseen Bits.

This is a show that brings you the most outrageous unseen content

from the last seven days in the villa.

If you like an exclusive, then look no further.

Here is the latest bombshell.

Hey, guys. I'm Chloe from the farm.

IAIN: We have all the insider tips.

Dublin is the best place ever. Is it, yeah?

Why are there so many people in Ireland?

The numbers keep doublin' and doublin' and doublin'.

I don't get it. Doublin'. Is that a song? They keep doublin'.

No, it's a joke. Oh...

IAIN: And the bits you really shouldn't see on TV.

So take a peek...

and get shocked by uncensored action.

Flick it off, flick it off, Tanya! THEY SCREAM

IAIN: As well as all the unseen apologies.

BABY VOICE: I'm sorry. Please, girls.

I'll make you brownies.

I'll give you kisses.

IAIN: This is Love Island Unseen Bits.

WILL LAUGHS

IAIN: When it comes to dating, we all have our types on paper.

I like German arms and legs,

but then I do like Italian shins and knees.

What do you like, Tom?

I like French toes, and French nails, whatever they're called.

I love when they make me French toast. Yeah. And berries.

Berries and cream. I like when they wear knee-high boots.

Do you? Yeah.

I like it when they wear shinpads. And studs? Yeah.

I like it when they wear keeper gloves on nights out.

I like it when, before they go to sleep,

they make sure they do five headers before bed.

And ten push-ups.

I love it when girls just do armpit farts in bed. Yeah.

And real farts and push you under the covers.

I love it when they Dutch oven me.

I love it when they eat cheese and onion crisps,

and then kiss them. Yeah.

Yeah. The smellier the breath, the better. Yeah.

I love it when they, like, spit on the floor. Yeah, or on me.

Yeah. Yeah.

I really like it when you're upstairs chilling with a girl

and you go, "Oh, I'm a little bit hungry," and they go,

"Mum, Will's hungry! Get him something!"

I mean, it makes me feel so good, that does.

It's nice that we have the same interests

and we find the same things attractive in girls, though. Yeah.

Some people go for looks and personality, but no. Not us.

Girls are great. We love it, don't we?

IAIN: Good to know, lads.

I've got a jumbo pack of prawn cocktail crisps

if anyone wants a few bags before their next date.

You'd be forgiven for thinking that our Islanders

are all gorgeous visions of perfection,

but as this next unseen clip shows, looks can sometimes be deceptive.

So, what are your bad habits?

# My bad habits lead to you... #

I pick my big toes. Oh, my God. You pick your big toes?

You know what I used to do?

I used to sit there with my toenails and be like...

You bite... You fully bite your toes? That's disgusting.

That is so disgusting. I get a hair grip and I clean...

I clean my big toe with it. Are you joking?

Just get any gunk out of it. Oh, no. And the smell makes me feel...

No, no, no. No, no, no, no. That is sick.

Do you smell it after? Yeah. Oh, I've got one.

This is, like, really bad. I think I've developed it in here. Yeah.

When me and Shaq are sitting there,

he puts his finger in my bellybutton. Ew.

Do you like it? Yeah. Ew.

No. It's satisfying, but it's, like,

he just puts his finger there, and I'm, like...

I wee in the bath. OK.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Can we just deep this?

You pee the bath and then you sit in your pee?

It's not even like the shower where it goes down the drain,

you literally bathe in your pee!

No, I do it at the end. I crouch...

Oh, yeah. I've just scrubbed myself and then I'm gonna sit in my pee.

Another one. If there's no toilet roll...

Oh, God. Don't.

Why is it all to do with the toilet in the bathroom?

If there's no toilet roll, and I've had a wee, I'll use the end.

I use the cardboard. Sometimes I'll go for a towel.

One time... Guys, we should not be admitting this.

This is really dirty.

One time I tried putting the cardboard down the toilet

and my mum said, "Who's blocked it? I couldn't flush it.

"Who's blocked the toilet?!"

IAIN: Claudia, you must be the only person in history

to block a toilet by doing a wee.

Hello, monster.

IAIN: Last week, social media had a meltdown

over all the screaming coming from the bedroom.

Not that...

I'm talking about a clip of the boys tying up Casey,

and tickling him half to death.

The poor lad was convulsing with laughter,

but not half as much as you lot were at home.

IAIN READS TWEETS

So, the big question for the Twitter-verse to know is,

did the three amigos get themselves into a tickle again this week?

Will, are you one of them that, when they were younger,

got into the pool with a T-shirt on?

LAUGHTER No.

You had a rash vest, yeah, you did. A what?

It's called a rash vest.

Will, your mum used to give you factor 75, didn't she?

LAUGHTER

It's not true. Your mum still buys your trousers.

Is there such thing as factor 100? Is there?

Yes, if you put on factor 50 two times. Two times.

Two times. Two times.

# Two times a lady. #

Ooh! No. No, Shaq. Please, please.

Aren't you cute?

CASEY LAUGHS

HIGH-PITCHED SQUEALING

Come on now! Come on now!

HIGH-PITCHED LAUGHTER

BOYS IMITATE CASEY

Your armpits stink.

LAUGHTER

IAIN: Get some deodorant on those armpits, Casey.

Or your next re-coupling at the fire pit might stink, too.

Teacher Kai may know his way around the Bunsen burner,

but that doesn't mean he's an A-grade student in all classes.

Are you teaching him how to dance?

Him? He's got no hope, I've tried it already.

He taught me how to hip thrust, and I can hip thrust now.

He doesn't know how to hip thrust. I'm good at hip thrusting now.

We've been practising loads.

You don't know how to hip thrust, bro.

No, no, no, no, Kai. What are you...

Have you got a hula-hoop around your waist?

Was it really bad? What are you doing? You need...

I don't know what you need. You need God.

IAIN: And snake hips Kai didn't have to wait long

before putting his moves into action.

TEXT ALERT

# Go, go, go, go... #

Tonight, the villa will host a special VIP performance.

ALL CHEER

IAIN: And I'd say Will was a bit excited.

Yeah... That's what I'm gonna be doing tonight.

IAIN: Here's a few pre-show clips of our Islanders

getting in the mood to get in the club.

# Moved out the hood Now you tryin' a pull me back, right

# When my joint get to bumpin' In the club, it's on

# Wink my eye, if she smiles She's gone

# If the roof on fire Just let it burn

# If the talk ain't about money Homie, I ain't concerned

# I'm a tell you what Banks told me Go ahead switch the style up

# If they hate then let 'em hate And watch the money pile up

# Or we can go upside your head With a bottle of bub

# Come on, they know where we been

# You can find me in the club Bottle full of bub'

# My mind got what you need you need to feel the bub'... #

HE WHOOPS Jax Jones.

Testing, testing, one, two, three.

RAPS: Testing, testing One, two, three

Coming to the shubs With the party...

# Oh, my love, where did you go?

# Where did you go now? I wanna know... #

Yeah, baby!

# Oh, my love, where did you go?

# Where did you go now? I wanna know

# Where did you go? #

Wow! What a night.

# With my love, with my love

# Where did you go? #

I'm almost losing my voice.

I was screaming and shouting the whole time!

WILL HUMS A TUNE

Bam!

# I wanna know Where did you go... #

Raaagh! That's what I was doing the whole time! Raaagh!

It was sick. It was incredible.

# Where did you go? With my love

# With my love Where did you go? #

# That's what I love about you You keep me together... #

IAIN: Welcome back to Love Island Unseen Bits.

They might be rationing fresh vegetables

at the supermarket back home, but here,

the shelves are overflowing with scrummy unseen clips.

Oh-oh-oh!

IAIN: OK, some of them might look a bit irregular and wonky,

but they were all freshly picked this week and are very tasty indeed.

They just need a quick rinse before being consumed.

CASEY GROWLS

IAIN: They are guaranteed

to increase energy levels and boost brainpower.

Well, usually. Are you an intellectual?

What do you mean by that, though? Are you clever? Yeah.

IAIN: So, eat up, because this is

the ultimate Saturday night pick-me-up.

Guaranteed to help you grow up big and strong like Martin.

Five foot ten and stacked.

THEY LAUGH

Five foot ten!

I kid you not. I am not five eleven, I am six foot one, boys.

That's something someone who's five eleven would say, though.

This is fucking embarrassing, bruv.

How can you call a big man like me fucking five eleven?

You can't say big man when you're not six foot.

LAUGHTER

IAIN: Before the break, we saw Samie and Claudia

heading upstairs to the bedroom.

Yes, we caught the whole thing on camera and we weren't the only ones.

Well, here's...

I'm taking these boots home...

No, you're not! Oh, my God!

What the hell is wrong with you? Fuck's sake!

Oh, the air-con needs to go off in here tonight. And you filmed it.

IAIN: Now, people say that dating is a numbers game,

but for the boys in the villa,

even counting can prove to be a painful sport.

Right, so everyone knows how to play 21.

You can say one, two, or three

and whoever lands on 21 gets... nipple flicks?

OK, nipple flicks it is.

One. Two, three. Four. Five. Six.

Seven, eight, nine.

10, 11, 12. 13, 14, 15. 16, 17, 18.

19. 20.

THEY ALL LAUGH

Nipples out!

Nipples out!

LAUGHTER

Oh... Will. I thought you were gonna...

I was, like, "Please, Will. "Please, Will."

Hmm... Stitched you right up. Oh, yes.

Are you playing? Yeah.

Let's get Shaq, yeah? Yeah.

One, two, three. Four, five.

Six, seven, eight. Nine.

10. 11.

12, 13, 14. 15.

16. 17.

18. 19. 20.

ALL SHOUT AT ONCE

THEY SCREAM

RAUCOUS LAUGHTER

That's how you want to play? All right, cool.

We're done now, that's it. Good job of the game.

One, two. Three. Four.

Five, six, seven. Eight.

CASEY SIGHS

THEY LAUGH

9, 10, 11. 12, 13, 14.

SHAQ LAUGHS

15, 16, 17.

18. 19. 20.

ALL SHOUT AT ONCE

CASEY SQUEALS

You pinched it!

Ron, you little shit.

IAIN: This game is seriously twisting my melons, man.

Let's nip it in the bud.

Post-Casa Amor, Lana and Ron's romance

seemed to be going from strength to strength.

Love can be infectious, and in this unseen clip,

Ron and Lana loved-up vibes

are clearly spreading to the other Islanders.

Kiss. Go on, kiss.

Kiss. Snog it out. Kiss.

You kiss. You two kiss. We'll kiss if you kiss.

IAIN: Including Will and Shaq it seems. What?

# I want it that way... #

Ew... Now you kiss.

Fucking hell! What's happened?

Is that your sister or something, bro? Fuck me!

Close your mouth now! Fuck off!

If we're all doing it, then...

You're really warm. Will is freezing.

I'm getting squished a bit.

# Ain't nothing but a heartache

# Tell me why Ain't nothing but a mistake

# Tell me why I never want to hear you say... #

IAIN: That clip was hilarious. We should post it on tickle-tock.

Things have been getting hot in the villa

through a combination of steamy romance and fiery arguments,

so it's time to cool off in the pool,

but being a competitive bunch, it wasn't long before our Islanders

and their floaties were getting seriously pumped up.

So let me hand you over to our commentator

for today's event, Ron and Lana.

Three, two, one. Go!

# One is you make me happy Two is you set me free... #

Casey and Claudia. Claudia smashed it.

She actually flew. I thought she was a fish. She was so quick.

Claudia grew jills or whatever they're called.

"Jills"? I think you mean gills, mate.

# I still get frustrated I can't lie... #

Go, go, go!

# When you keep on doing things I don't like... #

Martin could not get on the Lilo.

I think it's because he's too big,

he's so muscley that he makes the Lilo float down.

Float down? You mean sink? Yeah.

What are you doing?

BOYS CHEER

'Kai did have that turtle working for him.'

It was almost like the turtle was swimming with him.

He was at one with the float.

I mean, I think Sanam was a bit slow.

She was our weakest link.

Yes! Get ready, Tanya. Come on, Jessie.

Shaq, he was like a dog.

It was like doggy paddle. He was just sort of...

I thought he was more fighting for air

than he was actually trying to win the race.

You know what? He let his name down as well, cos Shaq Attack,

you'd think shark attack, he'd be good at swimming, but he wasn't.

SQUEALING

I killed it. No, I disagree.

I didn't have any help, I literally was there in about two seconds.

Other than the time advantage. Are you joking? I had...

You jumped in at the same time as me. No, no, no.

The boys were throwing obstacles in my face.

In my face. Yeah, OK, yeah.

They put a unicorn in my face.

GIRLS SCREAM

Winner of the first Lilo Race 2023 was obviously the girls.

SCREAMING

Cheating. This one's a cheat. I hope you don't cheat on me.

I... Oooh!

IAIN: I've checked the VAR,

and there was no cheating during the Lilo race.

Casa Amor however was another story. Less said the better.

This year, we have seen some very tall tales coming out of the villa.

There's a thing that goes round called the Scouse mouse.

The Scouse mouse. It sounds weird when we say it.

That goes round? Yeah.

IAIN: And Tom and Casey have teamed up to become the duping duo.

So we have created a whole new feature called...

Wow! Look at that mountain.

Wow! It's Table Mountain. No, it's not.

Yeah, it is. No, it's not.

I know where Table Mountain is.

No, it's Chair Mountain.

No, it's not. It is, it's Chair Mountain.

Believe what you want, it's been there 600 million years.

Oh, yeah, 600 million (!)

I was in Texas about six years ago. Did you go to Texas?

In where? Texas.

And, I swear down, I saw an alien.

Casey's stories are honestly the craziest stories ever

and I believe every single one.

I remember you saying that the first day. Yes.

I didn't know it were in Texas. Yeah.

What did you see there? Oh, my God.

It was in the middle of the night and we heard...

It was me and one other boy. We heard this...

HUMS EERIE TUNE

I told you briefly about it, didn't I?

I remember, but you haven't told me the full story.

There was this alien, but it was in a slime form, it was so weird.

What? Yeah. What colour was it?

Orange. It was orange.

That's weird, man. I bet it scared you a bit, did it?

Yeah, it did scare me. What did you do when you saw it?

What? I ran.

Did it have a face, though? Yeah, sort of. That's mad.

It was like this, it was like...

Genuine, Tanya. You can't laugh.

I'm picturing the alien and it's orange,

and it's standing in front of him, and him running away, like...

It's just, it's crazy.

IAIN: Will the prankster duo finally be caught out by Tanya

or will she fall for another tall tale?

Find out later in the show.

Earlier this week, we put our Islanders knowledge of each other

to the test in the Knowing Me, Knowing You challenge.

Which Islander does your partner think is least genuine in the villa?

Just Martin. I've known you for the least amount of time, innit?

IAIN: But when Ron gave his answer, how did Martin react?

Did he flick Ron on the nipple? Did he burst into tears?

Well, come back after the break to find out.

# Everybody's waiting For the summertime

# It's all right It's all right. #

IAIN: Welcome back to Love Island Unseen Bits.

This is a place to see all the uncensored, outrageous going-ons

in the most talked-about villa in human history. Fact.

Kai is in his element - well, the bathroom -

hosting his Strictly Bum Dancing twerk class.

Do you know how to twerk? Yeah, obviously. Teach me.

Show us your best twerk.

LAUGHTER

IAIN: Tanya's fainted with all the excitement.

Ah! She's so dramatic.

IAIN: Casey wants to be the world's first human fountain.

And Will gets a little too close to a very leggy visitor at the villa.

WILL SCREAMS

Fucking hell! There's a massive spider here. Look!

No, it's like this big.

IAIN: Before the break, we teased you with an unseen clip

of the Islanders taking part in the challenge Knowing Me, Knowing You.

But we left you wanting to know more.

Which Islander does your partner think is least genuine in the villa?

Just Martin. I've known you for the least amount of time, innit?

IAIN: When Ron gave his answer, how did Martin react?

Did he flick Ron in the nipple? Did he burst into tears? Here's...

Oh, fuck! Something entered my nose!

And it's now on my leg! I swear, something entered my nose, bro.

IAIN: And here are some unseen bits from that challenge.

# Knowing me, knowing you A-ha... #

Where was your partner born?

# Big man on your little screen Why you so touched?

# Just say your ... is small And rock up to my concert... #

Right, Casey.

Blackburn.

Good old Blackburn.

Spelling might be a little bit off, but Trinidad.

He is correct.

Trini girl born and raised. Max, where was Olivia born?

I've gone with sunny Brighton.

I'm from Brighton. Yay!

Sunny? I don't think it's sunny down there. Oi! Don't diss my town.

Do you get half a mark for handwriting or not?

I think she was born in Sydney.

Syd-nay. Syd-nay?

Jessie, were you born in Syd-nay?

I was born in Syd-ney. That is good.

And I drew you as a baby, and went down under. Good.

If your girl could have a superpower, what would it be?

Fuck's sake. Fucking hell...

Stop looking. I'm not looking.

You two are trying to cheat. I'm watching you.

Says you, "outside cheeky public".

LAUGHTER

Fucking hell, what's she writing an essay for?

How am I meant to get that?

Fuck me. Casey.

Invisibility. Invisible.

I've went for mind reading.

Reading people's minds.

LAUGHTER

There you go. It's working. Tom?

This is a complete guess.

It's not really something me and Samie talk about to be fair.

I've gone for being able to fly.

Fly!

How is everyone getting this?

I've gone with a common one, to fly.

I want to travel somewhere instantly.

Sorry, Lana.

That's probably a deal-breaker, isn't it?

No. I don't fucking think so.

I'm gonna go on fly to the farm. Fly to the farm.

My one was time travel, so I could go back and fix everything.

ALL: Aww!

What a gentle soul. But that's wrong.

Can I change mine because that was adorable?

Boys, what would your girl say is her worst personality trait?

Casey. Can be too loud.

I should have put that, but I put not opening up enough.

I should got that.

I think Olivia might say that sometimes

she can be a bit too outspoken.

Do you know what, I am very outspoken, but I love it.

So, flirting. We're all flirts.

Gemini, what can I say. Ron.

She doesn't have any bad traits,

but I've put that she laughs at her own jokes too much.

Lana.

I do, but I've put that I'm a worrier.

I just worry about people and everything.

Warrior, that's not warrior. You're a warrior.

Warrior is "a". Is that not how you spell it?

No, you spelled it right. Going into battle. Warrior.

It is right. I like that one.

It's true. It's cute.

IAIN: Remember a few weeks back

when Tom had his eyebrows threaded by beauty professional Tanyel?

He was such a brave little soldier. Didn't complain at all.

Oh, you fucker! Agh!

Oh, Tanyel, man.

Oh, my f... My God. You drama queen.

I'm not even overreacting, I'm actually not.

IAIN: Tanyel was a very pleasant plucker, but sadly she's gone,

IAIN: Tanyel was a very pleasant plucker, but sadly she's gone,

unlike Tom's bushy brows which are back with vengeance.

So in a moment of utter madness,

he turned to complete eyebrow amateur Claudia for assistance.

Have you waxed eyebrows before? No. What?!

Fuck off. Have you not? No!

Fuck's sake. Right, have no fear, Claudia is here. I just don't...

If I get your actual eyebrow...

How long are you leaving them on for?

No, you don't, you put them on, and wax them off. Oh! Serious?

Right, lie down. You need to lie down.

I feel like you're gonna take pleasure out of it.

Oh, this is great for me. I'm a bit nervous. Oh! Right, go on.

Do it. fuck it. Claudia.

Claudia, talk to me. Claudia. Three...

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Don't fucking start counting down.

Please do not start counting down.

Three, two... HE SCREAMS

# I call my girl Cos I got a problem

# Only a curl is gonna Solve it... #

Oh-ho-ho! Agh!

That were a good one. Fuck me! That where a good one there.

Oh, my God.

HE SCREAMS

The other side. I feel like you haven't pressed it down enough.

Give me a chance! I don't want to get your eyelashes, though.

You haven't got my eyelashes, have you?

They feel like they're on your eyelashes.

Have you got my eyelashes, Claudia?! Fuck's sake.

Just check, Claudia. HE LAUGHS

Three, two, one.

Oh, fuck.

Look, I've taken your whole eyebrow off.

You haven't.

Why don't you just, like, go right up to it. I'm trying!

# I tried everything... #

There's a few stragglers, but it's way better than what they were.

Sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm not sorry, really. I deserve this.

Whoa. That was a good one.

I feel like I prefer this to threading.

Cos it's over and done with.

IAIN: If that lad leaves the villa with his eyebrows left,

it will be a miracle.

Earlier in the series,

we were witness to the Love Island 2023 Ten Metre Freestyle Pool Race.

Ron, you cheated, mate!

Jessie doesn't know if you touched this end.

IAIN: Which caused controversy after the intervention of VAR

saw Ron later disqualified.

Well, all eyes are once again on the Love Island villa

as we are about to embark on the 2023 pool Vill-ympics.

And the event is adjudicated by judge Martin.

The Ten Metres Splash Dash is basically the boys

just walking across the pool really fast without swimming, basically.

CHARIOTS OF FIRE THEME

MARTIN: Three, two...

Wait, guys, guys! Because he was moving his hands.

You are moving your hands.

You were moving your hands. You are disqualified!

You are moving your hands.

Three, two, one, go!

CHARIOTS OF FIRE THEME

Fourth place, we've got Casey.

In third place, Maxwell.

In second place, Will.

And the winner of the Ten Metre Splash Dash is Mr Longlegs, Tom.

ANGELIC MUSIC

IAIN: Since his debut about 15 minutes ago,

the popularity of our next feature has gone through the roof,

which means it's time for the next instalment of...

Oh, my God! RON SCREAMS

Oh, my God! Don't do that! That scared the shit out of me.

IAIN: With Tom's ambush on Ron working like a dream,

it was time to see if Tanya

would fall for another of Casey's wind-ups. Let's find out.

The sun is nice. Yes. Yes?

Do you know why clouds go over mountains like that?

They say it's a blanket. No. Nope. You must know the reason.

No, I don't know the reason.

You don't know about the mountain grabbers? Oh, fuck off, Casey.

You've never heard of that? There's no mountain grabbers.

You get rock climbers, mountain climbers, mountain grabbers.

There's no mountain grabbers, though. Oh, my God.

Why do you never believe anything we say?

Because we take the piss so many times, she don't believe it.

Right, rock climbers,

sailors, mountain climbers, mountain grabbers.

No. So, what are they, then?

Well, they stay at the top of the mountains

and they have vacuums and suck in the clouds,

so it looks like there's a layer of cloud on the top of the mountain.

Are you fucking taking the piss?

You can see they've stopped because it's slowly going.

They've stopped? Look on the left, see all the clouds that sit on top.

You've got mountain grabbers on top of them.

Tanya is the most gullible person I've ever met.

I genuinely believe she believes every word that I say.

IAIN: Boys, tell the truth, for crying out loud,

we all know it's caused by emissions from the dry-ice factory

situated at the top of the mountain.

Find out if Tanya finally catches the pranksters out later.

# It's gonna be better

# It's gonna be better... #

IAIN: Welcome back to Love Island Unseen Bits. A show of four halves.

And here we are, already in the final part with unseen clips

of Will licking Casey's joints...

Sounds like thirsty work.

Down it! Down it! Down it! That was actually really good.

IAIN: Casey's feeling so hot, he could eat himself.

The boy's shaved, the boy has done his...

And now the boy needs to do his eyebrows.

IAIN: Claudia's trying to play it cool.

Oh, gosh.

IAIN: Tom's busy lifting the boys spirits.

And Kai reveals he's the old smoothie we always suspected.

I've got no hair on my body apart from my head.

You shave all your pubes off? Swear?

I always shave them. Do you not shave them all off?

No, I trim it down. What, your pubes?

Yeah. Do you use your beard trimmer on your pubes?

I have two different shavers. I might get the Manscaped one.

They're quite good. Yeah, I heard that. You can't cut yourself.

Even if you clip it on your ball bag or whatever. Swear?

Yeah, it doesn't rip.

IAIN: We all know if you rub a magic lamp, a genie will pop out.

But did you know that if you tap a farmer on the knee while singing

"oy, oy, oy" a totally random question pops out?

# Oy, oy, oy... #

Can you eat kangaroo in Australia? Yeah, it's the leanest meet.

Really? Have you eaten it? Yeah.

Have you eaten it? You've eaten kangaroo?

You've eaten a baby kangaroo? No, I haven't eaten a baby one.

I don't chop it up and eat it. You can buy it at the store like steak.

Like, when you go to the store... What sort of meat is it?

Is it steak-y or like chicken-y? Is it white or red meat?

I actually haven't eaten it cos I used to be veggo, but... Veggo.

What? What's veggie? Vegetarian.

What? Veggo. That's what we call it in Australia.

Veggo. Veggo, yeah.

Why? Because it's just the shorting of it.

Veggie. Vegetarian. We call it veg-veg-ee-ee.

What? We call it veggie. Veg-veg-ee-ee. No, you don't.

Yes, we do. Well, vegetarian is real word, but veggo is like...

What? Vegetarian is a real word? What are you talking about?

What do you mean? So, I used to be "vegetarian"... What is that?

What? You do know what a vegetarian is. Is it?

Is that when you can't eat fish? Oh, my God. I cannot deal.

Stop it. Sorry, I know what a vegetarian is. I got your back.

Oh, my God!

IAIN: Will-O, mate, you're pushing veggo Jess-O over the edge-O.

Hello and welcome to ITV2's

all-new natural history programme Planet Love.

Tonight, we are delving deep into uncharted territory

to discover the complexities

of a whole new female species.

The villa girls.

The most fascinating and alluring of creatures.

And you're about to get a rare glimpse into their habitat

thanks to the access gained by our in-house cameraman Tom.

This is a little vlog. We're in the girls' dressing room.

Yeah, there's bits everywhere, really. Things left about.

Toothbrushes. Look at this. It stinks in here.

Coffee cups everywhere.

And they've got a boiled egg in here.

And they've got... No, a Scotch egg. A Scotch egg. It's not on.

They've got a Scotch egg. There's eyelashes everywhere.

Any more Scotch eggs? They're boomerangs, mate.

Boomerangs. What are they?

Baked beans. Really big baked beans.

Yeah, there's nothing in order. Let's fix this. Fix it up a bit.

There we go.

IAIN: But to really understand the lives

of those beautiful and fascinating creatures,

the boys need to immerse themselves entirely in their world.

It won't be easy, but where there's a will, there's a way.

Oh, yes. Let's get into girls' outfits.

Wear it, wear it, wear it, wear it.

I'd wear this one.

# Nails, hair, hips Heels, face, done

# Lips real, purse full

# Big heels, yes, I'm a big deal

# Legs, legs, face, eyes... #

Will, you got back in that. Case, show us.

Yeah, nice. Oh, my God! Yeah!

Work it, queen. You sexy girl!

I can't fit in anything.

Tom, babe. What's going on?

Tom, there's no way you're gonna be able to get in them boots.

Oh... Those are Tanya's boots!

Strut. Strut. Hips. Hips.

CHEERING

Tommy boy! You sexy thing!

I really hope Kai doesn't piss me off tonight.

LAUGHTER

I just don't want the drama. The drama.

Trust me, if I have to pull him one more time for a chat,

that's gonna be it.

Princess Kelsey is here to create some drama, trust me.

I ain't taking nobody as a prisoner.

Casey is too silly for me.

LAUGHTER

I feel like Tom just goes to the terrace with me way too much.

He shouldn't be up there. He shouldn't.

You know every time you go up there, you know exactly what he wants.

Honestly, we don't care if we're stepping on toes.

I'm not a girl's girl either.

We're no girl's girls, where here to have a good time.

We're here to take the boys, and we're here to slay. Slay.

Do my boobs look too big in this?

Trust me, they don't, babe. They look perfect.

Right. You look so good, girl.

Girls rule, boys drool. Brush my teeth, we slaying.

What's eye contour cream?

Sorry. I do not know.

LAUGHTER

This is all us. No make-up.

Just queens. Slaying. Together. Forever.

IAIN: RuPaul has nothing to worry about.

It's that time of the show once again. It's...

And this week, I asked them to show me their party trick.

Party trick.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God, I don't even have a party trick.

I haven't got my Rubik's cube, I normally do a Rubik's cube.

If you give me a drink, I can down it.

I'm quite good at downing a pint.

I could do a rose, which would be hard, but I could do a rose.

I can't even down a pint, actually.

I don't know why I said that. I can drink it.

I can whistle. That's as exciting as it gets for me.

Is that weird?

WHISTLES TENTATIVELY

I can fold my toes, excuse the toes, the dirty toes.

Look at that. Look at that. Just like that.

WHISTLES TUNELESSLY

I can't wink.

I've always wanted to do, like...

I can raise this eyebrow, I can't do the other one, so it's a bit shit.

Is it moving? Is the eyebrows...

I had a bit of Botox in my forehead, so I can't really move it any more.

I can't lift up the right one.

Oh, I would love to, though.

WHISTLES TENTATIVELY

I can roll my tongue, like...

Bet you can't do that.

I can get up inside there.

BLOWS AIR

ARMPIT FART

I can't do it.

# God save the King. #

WOLF-WHISTLES

I can go like that.

I learned that one in primary school from the receptionist,

and I used to use it all the time.

Strong chest muscles.

SHE HUMS

I can turn my hand all the way round.

I think I can click my toes.

TOES CLICK

I think this means I'm double jointed. Agh.

I can nearly do it, does that count?

Oh, taxi. Get me home.

You've either got it, or you don't got it.

IAIN: Tune in next week for another instalment of...

Before we go, we have time for just one more clip

of our new feature that has taken the nation by storm.

Yes, we are visiting our resident lovable tricksters,

but can they continue to pull the wool over Tanya's eyes?

Let's find out.

I actually had a really weird experience once. Yeah?

When I was a lot younger. What happened?

It was what happened with the badgers.

What happened with the badgers? Ooh. Don't say it. You can't say it?

Not on telly, you can't.

What happened with the fucking badgers?

No, I'll say it. I will say it.

We basically were, like, 13, 14 at the time.

We were quite young and immature

and we all fell asleep on this common, like, this big grass area.

Then what happened? We woke up underground.

A badger family carried us down into this underground...

What the fuck are you talking about? Genuinely.

What? That's weird, man.

Youse are winding me up again. You are.

I really wish I was, but I wasn't.

They kicked me out in the end cos of what I said to them.

What do you mean? What did you say to them?

I just overstayed my welcome.

What the fuck are you talking about? Like, what the fuck?

IAIN: Guys, I think Tanya smells a rat.

Or at least I think it's a rat.

One thing's for sure, it's definitely not a badger.

The badger one, I switched off quickly because I was, like,

"Now you are just trying to wind me up."

I don't even know where that one came from, where it went

and where it's going. I don't know. I don't know.

IAIN: Well, that's the end of the feature then,

and we spent tons on those graphics, too.

Don't forget to come back next week for some more unseen bits.

Subtitles by accessibility@itv.com