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1
00:03:17,962 --> 00:03:20,171
You're home.
2
00:03:21,587 --> 00:03:23,754
Great, Deed. I mean, there you are.
3
00:03:24,046 --> 00:03:25,629
You're standing right in front of me.
4
00:03:26,504 --> 00:03:28,254
Hi, Nina.
5
00:03:28,546 --> 00:03:29,546
Hello, Dee Dee.
6
00:03:30,171 --> 00:03:31,337
How was your day?
7
00:03:31,629 --> 00:03:34,296
Very pleasant in a grim sort of way.
8
00:03:39,004 --> 00:03:40,754
So how are things around here?
9
00:03:41,504 --> 00:03:43,337
Oh, did that, uh, what's his name?
10
00:03:43,629 --> 00:03:45,421
That strange bald lawyer call?
11
00:03:46,087 --> 00:03:47,087
No.
12
00:03:47,171 --> 00:03:49,651
- Well, how about Douglas?
- Did he reconfirm for this afternoon?
13
00:03:49,879 --> 00:03:51,796
No, no one called.
14
00:03:52,712 --> 00:03:54,192
Well, if he ever does call me here,
15
00:03:54,462 --> 00:03:56,171
it's fine to give him
the number in the car
16
00:03:56,546 --> 00:03:57,546
about the lawyer.
17
00:03:58,587 --> 00:04:01,129
Oh, he represents Merkey,
18
00:04:01,421 --> 00:04:02,981
the artist that I'm showing next month.
19
00:04:03,171 --> 00:04:04,629
Douglas already has the number.
20
00:04:06,087 --> 00:04:09,212
Which means he must still be
coming since he didn't call.
21
00:04:10,129 --> 00:04:11,421
Well, yeah.
22
00:04:13,837 --> 00:04:16,046
- So...
- What?
23
00:04:17,087 --> 00:04:19,587
Well, how were things around
here? You were about to say.
24
00:04:19,879 --> 00:04:22,421
- Gardener came.
- And how is Mr. Li?
25
00:04:22,837 --> 00:04:24,997
He cleared out that underbrush
where you asked about.
26
00:04:25,629 --> 00:04:25,962
Good.
27
00:04:26,296 --> 00:04:28,296
He did the deep root fertilization too.
28
00:04:29,462 --> 00:04:31,422
I paid all the bills. The
checks are on your desk.
29
00:04:31,587 --> 00:04:32,867
All you have to do is sign them.
30
00:04:33,129 --> 00:04:35,188
And I bought some haddock
from the fish man this morning.
31
00:04:35,212 --> 00:04:36,612
I made a curry sauce to go with it.
32
00:04:36,796 --> 00:04:38,313
All you have to do is pop it in the oven
33
00:04:38,337 --> 00:04:39,546
and I left the directions.
34
00:04:40,754 --> 00:04:42,004
And you'd like to go home now?
35
00:04:42,962 --> 00:04:43,962
Go.
36
00:04:50,837 --> 00:04:52,629
Oh, uh, Mr. Li said
37
00:04:52,921 --> 00:04:54,504
he won't be back again
for three weeks.
38
00:04:54,796 --> 00:04:55,921
He has to go to Taiwan.
39
00:04:56,212 --> 00:04:58,296
I think he was trying to
tell me some family thing.
40
00:04:58,587 --> 00:04:59,171
No doubt.
41
00:04:59,462 --> 00:05:00,855
He wanted to know if
you wanted his nephew
42
00:05:00,879 --> 00:05:02,212
to come back the next two weeks.
43
00:05:02,504 --> 00:05:03,584
Uh, you said yes, I hope?
44
00:05:04,087 --> 00:05:05,629
You're a good little wife, Dee Dee.
45
00:05:05,921 --> 00:05:07,254
Every woman should have one.
46
00:10:06,129 --> 00:10:07,212
Can I help you?
47
00:10:08,129 --> 00:10:10,671
- Hi.
- Yes?
48
00:10:10,962 --> 00:10:12,962
I'm Fitch. Fitch.
49
00:10:15,546 --> 00:10:16,546
Fitch?
50
00:10:17,337 --> 00:10:18,671
I'm here for your appointment.
51
00:10:19,879 --> 00:10:21,087
Well, where's Douglas?
52
00:10:22,004 --> 00:10:23,004
Didn't he call you?
53
00:10:23,796 --> 00:10:24,796
Said he was going to.
54
00:10:26,212 --> 00:10:27,796
He said he would call you.
55
00:10:28,421 --> 00:10:31,087
- To tell me what?
- Couldn't make it.
56
00:10:31,379 --> 00:10:33,337
- Douglas.
- That's what he said.
57
00:10:34,712 --> 00:10:37,462
So where should we set up, Nina?
58
00:10:38,129 --> 00:10:40,504
Well, wait, wait, wait
just a minute, uh...
59
00:10:41,962 --> 00:10:45,212
We're, uh, we're usually
this way, but where is he?
60
00:10:45,504 --> 00:10:46,629
Do you know?
61
00:10:46,921 --> 00:10:49,796
- Who?
- Douglas.
62
00:10:50,087 --> 00:10:52,712
- Didn't come up.
- I don't understand.
63
00:10:53,004 --> 00:10:54,921
My assistant confirmed the appointment.
64
00:10:56,004 --> 00:10:57,421
Uh, listen, the, the, the thing is,
65
00:10:57,712 --> 00:11:01,296
I'm, I'm really very accustomed
to, to working with...
66
00:11:02,546 --> 00:11:04,296
"The Sun Also Rises."
67
00:11:04,587 --> 00:11:05,587
I liked it.
68
00:11:06,921 --> 00:11:08,605
Well, you see, I,
I'm, I'm very accustomed
69
00:11:08,629 --> 00:11:09,962
to working with him, Douglas.
70
00:11:10,254 --> 00:11:13,212
And, and the thing is that I, I like him.
71
00:11:13,504 --> 00:11:17,212
I, I really like him and,
um, well, it takes time,
72
00:11:17,504 --> 00:11:19,397
at least for a woman, you
know, it really takes time
73
00:11:19,421 --> 00:11:21,171
to, to feel comfortable,
really comfortable
74
00:11:21,462 --> 00:11:22,982
with, with a man who you know, really
75
00:11:23,171 --> 00:11:24,254
Doug's got the touch.
76
00:11:33,337 --> 00:11:36,504
Without even
picking up a phone or...
77
00:11:38,712 --> 00:11:39,712
Douglas.
78
00:11:40,504 --> 00:11:42,184
When you have a relationship with someone,
79
00:11:42,337 --> 00:11:44,137
a business relationship,
we go back, he and I.
80
00:11:44,421 --> 00:11:47,587
You, you expect some consideration.
81
00:11:47,879 --> 00:11:50,546
He seemed to be in a
rush. He's very young.
82
00:11:52,254 --> 00:11:54,171
He's not so terribly young.
83
00:11:54,462 --> 00:11:56,671
No, not so young, but he's young,
84
00:11:56,962 --> 00:11:58,796
younger than he thinks he is.
85
00:11:59,087 --> 00:12:01,504
Besides, he could have not
called either one of us.
86
00:12:02,296 --> 00:12:03,629
He's very talented.
87
00:12:04,712 --> 00:12:06,462
He is. Good looking kid too.
88
00:12:07,379 --> 00:12:09,129
Women seem to go for him.
89
00:12:09,421 --> 00:12:12,254
A lot of his clients
are women. Most, really.
90
00:12:13,796 --> 00:12:15,796
Outside's nice.
91
00:12:16,087 --> 00:12:17,438
Especially if you have some privacy,
92
00:12:17,462 --> 00:12:18,879
and you have some privacy.
93
00:12:20,629 --> 00:12:21,879
Douglas does me outside.
94
00:12:23,004 --> 00:12:24,004
It's really hot.
95
00:12:24,837 --> 00:12:26,296
I've been there and
done it twice.
96
00:12:28,462 --> 00:12:29,822
You'd dig it. It's really crazy.
97
00:12:35,754 --> 00:12:37,046
Bit cold out here right now.
98
00:12:39,379 --> 00:12:41,837
Well, what would you suggest?
99
00:12:42,462 --> 00:12:44,462
Some dark and quiet place.
100
00:12:45,921 --> 00:12:48,004
I was in such a hurry getting over here.
101
00:12:48,671 --> 00:12:50,796
I've got my oils and things,
102
00:12:51,087 --> 00:12:53,962
but as for towels and sheets,
103
00:12:54,296 --> 00:12:55,296
I'll need some.
104
00:12:56,546 --> 00:12:57,546
All right.
105
00:13:02,046 --> 00:13:04,212
I left some stuff in the car.
106
00:13:30,879 --> 00:13:31,879
Fitch?
107
00:13:46,962 --> 00:13:47,962
Fitch?
108
00:13:51,004 --> 00:13:52,004
Fitch!
109
00:13:56,671 --> 00:13:57,671
Fitch.
110
00:14:14,796 --> 00:14:16,296
I'm fascinated with things.
111
00:14:18,337 --> 00:14:21,254
That is, I'm fascinated with
the fascination with things.
112
00:14:21,962 --> 00:14:23,046
This is my bedroom.
113
00:14:24,504 --> 00:14:25,587
I thought it might be.
114
00:14:31,129 --> 00:14:36,171
My mother had a spectacular
jewelry collection as I recall.
115
00:14:36,462 --> 00:14:37,587
Uh-huh.
116
00:14:37,879 --> 00:14:38,879
I wanted to wash up,
117
00:14:40,129 --> 00:14:42,087
when I happened to walk by...
118
00:14:42,379 --> 00:14:46,046
Thanks. Well, I wanted to wash up.
119
00:15:11,212 --> 00:15:13,337
What massage is about
in the end is healing.
120
00:15:13,671 --> 00:15:14,813
There are ways to heal people
121
00:15:14,837 --> 00:15:16,796
without words or prayers or drugs.
122
00:15:18,087 --> 00:15:20,921
That's it. That's the essence.
123
00:15:21,212 --> 00:15:23,004
I never really gave it much thought.
124
00:15:24,379 --> 00:15:27,296
- Healing?
- Massage, in those terms.
125
00:15:28,296 --> 00:15:30,671
I try not to over-intellectualize things.
126
00:15:31,004 --> 00:15:32,046
It makes life so great.
127
00:15:32,962 --> 00:15:35,421
I'm, uh, I'm more intuitive I think.
128
00:15:38,004 --> 00:15:39,004
How old are you?
129
00:15:41,004 --> 00:15:43,337
Why do you ask?
130
00:15:44,212 --> 00:15:45,962
I don't know. Why not ask?
131
00:15:46,254 --> 00:15:48,494
I mean, you never learn anything
if you don't ask, right?
132
00:15:49,671 --> 00:15:50,671
Older than you.
133
00:15:55,296 --> 00:15:58,171
The laying on of hands,
there's power in it.
134
00:16:01,296 --> 00:16:05,629
But in our culture, there are
so many Western prejudices
135
00:16:05,921 --> 00:16:07,587
against illness and healing.
136
00:16:09,254 --> 00:16:11,796
We're really pretty
tight-assed, medically speaking.
137
00:16:13,754 --> 00:16:14,879
You just think about it.
138
00:16:16,296 --> 00:16:19,837
When was the last time your
doctor really touched you?
139
00:16:20,796 --> 00:16:23,296
I don't mean probed or examined you.
140
00:16:24,754 --> 00:16:25,754
But touched you.
141
00:16:27,421 --> 00:16:30,796
Well, if it never
happened, it was too recent.
142
00:16:31,087 --> 00:16:32,254
I don't like doctors.
143
00:16:33,171 --> 00:16:35,046
That's because they consult with you.
144
00:16:35,921 --> 00:16:37,587
They talk with you over the phone
145
00:16:38,837 --> 00:16:40,462
or they prescribe drugs,
146
00:16:42,337 --> 00:16:45,046
but they don't personally feel you.
147
00:16:45,462 --> 00:16:48,212
They leave that to time or to chemistry.
148
00:16:48,962 --> 00:16:51,921
I don't like doctors,
because I don't like doctors.
149
00:16:54,254 --> 00:16:55,546
You've known Doug how long?
150
00:16:57,462 --> 00:16:59,879
- Not long.
- Long enough to like him?
151
00:17:01,837 --> 00:17:03,046
How long does that take?
152
00:17:06,337 --> 00:17:09,421
It goes back to the ancients, you know.
153
00:17:10,504 --> 00:17:11,504
What's that?
154
00:17:12,629 --> 00:17:13,754
Massage.
155
00:17:15,129 --> 00:17:17,129
Maybe even earlier, some historians think.
156
00:17:19,004 --> 00:17:22,837
The Greeks were mainly into
massage as a treatment,
157
00:17:23,129 --> 00:17:24,379
a healing aid.
158
00:17:25,587 --> 00:17:28,712
They have records of people
like Socrates and Plato
159
00:17:29,087 --> 00:17:31,837
being massaged daily,
and Plato lived to 104.
160
00:17:33,004 --> 00:17:34,129
Socrates did not.
161
00:17:35,879 --> 00:17:38,046
But the Romans being who they were,
162
00:17:38,337 --> 00:17:40,337
essentially Italians without the loafers,
163
00:17:41,421 --> 00:17:44,712
were the first to come up
with the idea of massage
164
00:17:45,754 --> 00:17:47,462
as a form of foreplay.
165
00:17:47,754 --> 00:17:50,171
Courtesans became quite good at it.
166
00:17:50,462 --> 00:17:53,046
It became part of the transaction finally.
167
00:17:53,337 --> 00:17:55,022
Well, you don't have
to be a rocket scientist
168
00:17:55,046 --> 00:17:56,046
to make the connection.
169
00:17:56,296 --> 00:17:58,712
Massage is sexual. Very sexual.
170
00:18:00,462 --> 00:18:01,796
It can be. Doesn't have to be.
171
00:18:03,087 --> 00:18:04,212
Shouldn't always be.
172
00:18:04,504 --> 00:18:07,712
Well, I wasn't talking about a sweating,
173
00:18:08,004 --> 00:18:09,546
screaming, orgasmic epiphany.
174
00:18:09,837 --> 00:18:11,397
It's just that you're lying there naked.
175
00:18:11,421 --> 00:18:12,701
Someone's touching you in places
176
00:18:12,837 --> 00:18:14,557
you sure wouldn't let
your father touch you,
177
00:18:14,837 --> 00:18:16,254
and it's arousing.
178
00:18:18,837 --> 00:18:19,837
Um...
179
00:18:23,087 --> 00:18:24,254
This is my desk.
180
00:18:24,546 --> 00:18:26,421
It's a form of communication.
181
00:18:27,004 --> 00:18:28,355
Just have to make sure
you're both speaking
182
00:18:28,379 --> 00:18:29,671
the same language.
183
00:18:32,296 --> 00:18:35,837
Well, looks like you're
ready to get started.
184
00:18:36,546 --> 00:18:37,671
We've already started.
185
00:18:38,546 --> 00:18:39,546
What do you mean?
186
00:18:39,712 --> 00:18:41,504
Well, most of any massage worth having
187
00:18:42,004 --> 00:18:44,364
takes place in the head, and
I'm sure you've been preparing.
188
00:18:45,171 --> 00:18:47,171
Why? Are you in a hurry?
189
00:18:48,671 --> 00:18:49,671
No.
190
00:18:54,254 --> 00:18:55,462
Funny little thing, eh?
191
00:18:58,462 --> 00:18:59,962
Maybe you'd like some music.
192
00:19:00,254 --> 00:19:01,397
What happened to that
music you were playing
193
00:19:01,421 --> 00:19:02,587
before you turned it off?
194
00:19:03,546 --> 00:19:04,712
I'll find something.
195
00:20:02,296 --> 00:20:03,921
I'd say we're ready.
196
00:20:25,212 --> 00:20:26,504
So what are we working on, Nina?
197
00:20:26,796 --> 00:20:28,587
Any complaints or maladies?
198
00:20:28,879 --> 00:20:30,921
Any part of the body that
needs special attention?
199
00:20:31,254 --> 00:20:33,174
You know, the part that
starts with my hairline
200
00:20:33,296 --> 00:20:34,462
and ends with my toes.
201
00:20:49,712 --> 00:20:51,462
It's my job, you know.
202
00:20:53,671 --> 00:20:56,254
You were gonna say something
about how tense I am.
203
00:20:57,629 --> 00:21:01,671
Douglas is always telling
me how much tension I have,
204
00:21:01,962 --> 00:21:04,671
especially in my upper back and shoulders.
205
00:21:05,587 --> 00:21:07,004
It's all because of my job.
206
00:21:21,462 --> 00:21:22,462
I have a gallery.
207
00:21:23,546 --> 00:21:25,296
Well, a couple of them actually.
208
00:21:25,587 --> 00:21:27,837
One here in town off Melrose.
209
00:21:28,129 --> 00:21:29,796
One in New York. Tribeca.
210
00:21:32,504 --> 00:21:35,379
Anyway, when it's your
business, your baby,
211
00:21:36,921 --> 00:21:38,601
you know what they say
about responsibility
212
00:21:38,629 --> 00:21:40,046
falling on your shoulders.
213
00:21:40,337 --> 00:21:41,962
Best not to talk too much.
214
00:21:43,296 --> 00:21:44,796
Was I talking too much?
215
00:21:45,837 --> 00:21:48,129
- Well, it's your massage.
- You can do anything you like.
216
00:21:49,212 --> 00:21:51,254
You really should try to relax.
217
00:21:52,796 --> 00:21:54,879
You can't keep going all the time.
218
00:21:55,837 --> 00:21:57,357
Or is that what the people at work do?
219
00:21:58,171 --> 00:22:00,129
Hmm, people I work with,
220
00:22:00,421 --> 00:22:03,629
relaxation is limited to what
they can purchase in a vial.
221
00:22:23,587 --> 00:22:25,296
See, it's working already.
222
00:22:58,587 --> 00:22:59,587
Okay.
223
00:23:00,629 --> 00:23:03,046
Angels keep their ancient places,
224
00:23:04,254 --> 00:23:06,421
Turn but a stone and start a wing!
225
00:23:07,129 --> 00:23:10,296
'Tis ye 'Tis your estranged faces.
226
00:23:10,837 --> 00:23:13,587
That miss the many-splendoured Thing.
227
00:23:25,379 --> 00:23:27,629
How long have you been
doing massage, Fitch?
228
00:23:31,379 --> 00:23:32,837
Almost 20 years on and off.
229
00:23:50,921 --> 00:23:52,004
Interesting work.
230
00:23:54,087 --> 00:23:56,921
I'm sure you
meet all kinds of people.
231
00:23:59,504 --> 00:24:01,462
It gives you a lot of freedom too, I bet.
232
00:24:02,379 --> 00:24:04,962
I mean, so portable.
233
00:24:05,421 --> 00:24:06,754
Have table, will travel.
234
00:24:10,796 --> 00:24:13,462
I travel a lot in my work.
235
00:24:15,671 --> 00:24:18,962
Too much, I'm starting to think.
236
00:24:19,504 --> 00:24:22,504
Guess it just depends how
badly you want what you want.
237
00:24:29,212 --> 00:24:30,462
Do you like art?
238
00:24:32,171 --> 00:24:34,546
You seem like the sort of person who does.
239
00:24:38,254 --> 00:24:40,004
And what sort of person is that?
240
00:24:41,171 --> 00:24:42,337
Well, some...
241
00:24:44,379 --> 00:24:45,379
What do you mean?
242
00:24:45,879 --> 00:24:47,813
It's just that I didn't know
there was a type, that's all.
243
00:24:47,837 --> 00:24:51,629
But maybe you know better
about that than I do.
244
00:25:24,462 --> 00:25:25,504
Okay, not a type,
245
00:25:25,796 --> 00:25:29,962
but I like art, artists.
246
00:25:31,129 --> 00:25:33,004
They hide themselves inside their work.
247
00:25:34,337 --> 00:25:35,754
So to really understand the work,
248
00:25:36,046 --> 00:25:39,296
you have to get to know the artist.
249
00:25:41,421 --> 00:25:44,546
Well, do you enjoy art?
250
00:25:46,337 --> 00:25:48,857
Who would you consider
to be the great artist of this century?
251
00:25:50,004 --> 00:25:51,421
How do you mean?
252
00:25:52,046 --> 00:25:53,587
Well, who are the five greatest?
253
00:25:54,462 --> 00:25:55,921
Or four,
254
00:25:56,712 --> 00:25:57,921
or three?
255
00:25:58,712 --> 00:26:00,796
I'm really not in that business.
256
00:26:02,212 --> 00:26:04,671
Would you say Picasso? Would he be one?
257
00:26:05,629 --> 00:26:06,754
Or Chagall?
258
00:26:07,129 --> 00:26:08,712
I don't think you can
259
00:26:09,129 --> 00:26:11,379
quantify artistic achievement.
260
00:26:11,712 --> 00:26:14,129
Or maybe Braque or Klee?
261
00:26:15,962 --> 00:26:17,921
What's your point, Fitch?
262
00:26:36,379 --> 00:26:37,379
What were you saying?
263
00:26:40,629 --> 00:26:43,087
You started to say something
then you just stopped.
264
00:26:49,254 --> 00:26:50,254
Fitch?
265
00:26:58,379 --> 00:26:59,379
Fitch?
266
00:27:02,296 --> 00:27:05,087
Fitch? What are you doing?
267
00:27:06,962 --> 00:27:07,962
This is just me now.
268
00:27:08,171 --> 00:27:09,171
This is just my opinion,
269
00:27:09,337 --> 00:27:14,254
but so much of what passes for
art today, contemporary art,
270
00:27:14,921 --> 00:27:16,671
is without any kind of reference point.
271
00:27:16,962 --> 00:27:19,629
Moral, historic, nothing.
It's not about anything.
272
00:27:19,921 --> 00:27:21,212
I disagree completely.
273
00:27:22,212 --> 00:27:24,796
Modern art is critical.
That's what makes it modern.
274
00:27:27,796 --> 00:27:29,087
What are those?
275
00:27:30,337 --> 00:27:32,837
I don't know. I found
'em in the trunk of my car.
276
00:27:34,796 --> 00:27:36,754
- Magnets.
- Magnets.
277
00:27:38,421 --> 00:27:39,837
About 400 gauss potency.
278
00:27:40,129 --> 00:27:41,962
Perfect for those hard-to-treat areas.
279
00:27:42,796 --> 00:27:43,796
Mm...
280
00:27:45,504 --> 00:27:47,421
Now you really must visit my gallery.
281
00:27:48,046 --> 00:27:50,327
I have a very interesting
installation going in next month
282
00:27:50,587 --> 00:27:51,587
I think you should see.
283
00:27:51,796 --> 00:27:52,421
What's that?
284
00:27:52,754 --> 00:27:55,671
It's a history of women's
fashion as a form of bondage.
285
00:27:56,879 --> 00:27:58,337
Mm, come see it. You'll enjoy it.
286
00:27:58,921 --> 00:28:02,629
It has a point of view. Ironic, satiric.
287
00:28:02,921 --> 00:28:05,046
- Point of view.
- Exactly.
288
00:28:05,962 --> 00:28:07,546
Well, I'll tell you,
289
00:28:08,046 --> 00:28:10,171
and this is why so much of
art today is so pointless,
290
00:28:10,462 --> 00:28:12,546
that what we as our society suffers from,
291
00:28:13,171 --> 00:28:15,879
is a kind of bankruptcy of spirit.
292
00:28:17,004 --> 00:28:18,897
Well, I'm sure people have
said something like that
293
00:28:18,921 --> 00:28:20,772
as long as there've been
people around to say it.
294
00:28:20,796 --> 00:28:22,116
Yeah, except
this time, it's true.
295
00:28:22,254 --> 00:28:23,504
I'm sure they said that too.
296
00:28:34,254 --> 00:28:37,337
If you're talking about today,
the way we live, it's fear.
297
00:28:37,671 --> 00:28:38,921
That's what defines us.
298
00:28:40,129 --> 00:28:41,129
Is this yours?
299
00:28:41,421 --> 00:28:42,421
Mm.
300
00:28:44,546 --> 00:28:47,962
Fear of change,
301
00:28:48,296 --> 00:28:49,546
fear of the future.
302
00:28:50,462 --> 00:28:51,962
Technology changing things faster
303
00:28:52,254 --> 00:28:53,629
than people can take it in.
304
00:28:53,921 --> 00:28:55,921
It turns us into strangers, everyone.
305
00:28:56,379 --> 00:28:58,546
That's why people create
the art they create.
306
00:28:59,629 --> 00:29:01,921
- Bad faith.
- What is?
307
00:29:02,837 --> 00:29:04,212
Blaming someone else.
308
00:29:04,504 --> 00:29:06,087
Something else, technology,
309
00:29:06,671 --> 00:29:09,504
as though we had no responsibility
over ourselves, our actions.
310
00:29:09,837 --> 00:29:12,129
Oh, so what would you suggest?
311
00:29:12,712 --> 00:29:14,962
I suggest we look inward, all of us,
312
00:29:15,962 --> 00:29:17,004
for starters.
313
00:29:18,004 --> 00:29:20,962
And then I suggest, we look outward.
314
00:29:23,546 --> 00:29:26,837
Then do we all sit around
cross-legged humming like gnats?
315
00:29:27,254 --> 00:29:28,254
We could. We might.
316
00:29:29,712 --> 00:29:30,712
Why not?
317
00:29:32,379 --> 00:29:34,046
Or else we could just go out and kill
318
00:29:34,379 --> 00:29:35,837
all the gallery owners.
319
00:29:42,212 --> 00:29:43,462
What do you think of it?
320
00:29:50,212 --> 00:29:51,212
Where do you show?
321
00:29:54,212 --> 00:29:56,879
Where do I show?
322
00:30:00,796 --> 00:30:03,212
Do you have any family, Fitch?
323
00:30:03,754 --> 00:30:06,754
- A wife, children?
- Mm-mm.
324
00:30:07,337 --> 00:30:08,629
Mother, father?
325
00:30:11,296 --> 00:30:13,129
Gone now. They've been dead a while.
326
00:30:14,087 --> 00:30:15,629
I have a sister back in Sydney.
327
00:30:17,462 --> 00:30:19,587
I try to stay close to my family.
328
00:30:20,004 --> 00:30:21,587
It's important. Don't you think?
329
00:30:22,087 --> 00:30:26,046
My sister's in Boston. My
brother's in Georgia somewhere.
330
00:30:26,379 --> 00:30:29,129
My parents are retired in
Florida, but we work at it.
331
00:30:30,587 --> 00:30:32,129
It's important, don't you think?
332
00:30:34,837 --> 00:30:37,379
I think so. Families staying close.
333
00:30:40,421 --> 00:30:42,087
What makes you think that?
334
00:30:42,379 --> 00:30:43,379
Think what?
335
00:30:44,004 --> 00:30:47,962
A bankruptcy of spirit. Ls
that really what we're about?
336
00:30:48,921 --> 00:30:49,504
Call it what you like.
337
00:30:49,796 --> 00:30:52,587
The essence of it is, is
that we have lost our way
338
00:30:52,962 --> 00:30:54,171
as a civilization.
339
00:30:54,546 --> 00:30:55,879
Spiritually, I'm saying.
340
00:30:57,129 --> 00:30:58,730
I've been around and the
one thing I've learned
341
00:30:58,754 --> 00:31:01,087
is we don't know what we don't know.
342
00:31:23,962 --> 00:31:27,129
My work, I suppose, has
a spiritual side to it.
343
00:31:27,754 --> 00:31:29,254
Each artist is unique.
344
00:31:30,212 --> 00:31:31,962
Each has individual needs.
345
00:31:33,921 --> 00:31:36,421
Where do I show?
346
00:31:39,046 --> 00:31:41,004
People like me don't show anywhere.
347
00:31:44,546 --> 00:31:45,546
I'm not in fashion.
348
00:31:54,504 --> 00:31:56,879
Of course, there is a
little matter of compensation.
349
00:31:57,796 --> 00:32:00,712
People understand that
when they come to me.
350
00:32:01,129 --> 00:32:02,837
Usually that's why they come to me.
351
00:32:04,296 --> 00:32:07,296
Artists are rarely as concerned
with the idea of their
352
00:32:07,837 --> 00:32:10,296
earning a living as
everyone else seems to be.
353
00:32:12,337 --> 00:32:15,546
Oh, oh, oh.
354
00:32:16,962 --> 00:32:21,379
Ah, ah, ah.
355
00:32:22,087 --> 00:32:24,921
Ah, ah.
356
00:32:25,962 --> 00:32:26,962
Oh, Nina.
357
00:32:29,504 --> 00:32:31,921
Hmm? What's this?
358
00:32:32,629 --> 00:32:35,421
It's a shiatsu thumb
for when I get tired.
359
00:32:46,296 --> 00:32:49,629
So what's the, uh,
spiritual side to your work?
360
00:32:51,629 --> 00:32:53,629
This is not too hard for you, is it, Nina?
361
00:32:54,504 --> 00:32:56,504
Why do you ask?
362
00:33:00,629 --> 00:33:04,796
I had aspirations, artistic aspirations.
363
00:33:05,837 --> 00:33:08,796
Except I saw myself up on stage somewhere
364
00:33:09,212 --> 00:33:10,754
as a performer.
365
00:33:11,712 --> 00:33:15,087
Only problem was I couldn't sing or dance.
366
00:33:16,129 --> 00:33:17,129
I could audition.
367
00:33:18,504 --> 00:33:21,754
You see, my gift is I know how to sell,
368
00:33:22,254 --> 00:33:23,754
so I sell myself.
369
00:33:24,046 --> 00:33:25,646
And then rehearsal, come to think of it,
370
00:33:25,796 --> 00:33:28,379
I was okay, passable.
371
00:33:31,004 --> 00:33:32,546
Would I have seen you in anything?
372
00:33:32,879 --> 00:33:34,837
No. Lucky man.
373
00:33:36,171 --> 00:33:38,087
So how'd the gallery business get you?
374
00:33:38,629 --> 00:33:41,629
Mmm... Same way most people
end up doing what they do.
375
00:33:42,754 --> 00:33:44,254
Fell in love with the wrong man.
376
00:33:45,587 --> 00:33:46,921
Artist.
377
00:33:48,421 --> 00:33:51,004
Artist, art dealer, art critic.
378
00:33:52,712 --> 00:33:56,462
He was all artistic things
to all artistic people.
379
00:34:13,421 --> 00:34:15,504
Now kneel up, head this end.
380
00:34:19,629 --> 00:34:21,171
And what happened to him?
381
00:34:22,712 --> 00:34:23,712
Who knows, really?
382
00:34:29,087 --> 00:34:30,587
- Like this?
- Mm-hmm.
383
00:34:35,379 --> 00:34:36,879
I like what I do,
384
00:34:37,296 --> 00:34:39,671
where I've ended up, who I am.
385
00:34:40,671 --> 00:34:42,671
I get enormous satisfaction from it.
386
00:34:45,879 --> 00:34:48,462
- You happy, Fitch?
- Happy?
387
00:34:51,254 --> 00:34:53,962
Well, you said you've done
all this traveling around.
388
00:34:54,587 --> 00:34:56,754
I was just wondering if it made you happy.
389
00:35:05,921 --> 00:35:07,712
Made me a better person?
390
00:35:08,504 --> 00:35:09,504
Sure, I suppose so.
391
00:35:10,504 --> 00:35:12,754
Happier than most people,
if that's what it's about.
392
00:35:14,379 --> 00:35:17,837
But there's more to happiness
than just being happy.
393
00:35:20,087 --> 00:35:21,087
Meaning what?
394
00:35:25,921 --> 00:35:29,254
Well, to most people,
culture, civilizations,
395
00:35:29,546 --> 00:35:32,004
the idea of happiness is
not some trivial thing.
396
00:35:32,629 --> 00:35:35,504
It's not a good job or
a new car in the drive.
397
00:35:36,296 --> 00:35:38,087
It's something else entirely.
398
00:35:39,171 --> 00:35:40,546
Something spiritual.
399
00:35:42,046 --> 00:35:46,087
The Hopi Indians believe
that the body of a person
400
00:35:46,796 --> 00:35:49,254
and the earth formed in the same way.
401
00:35:52,712 --> 00:35:54,129
Along an axis.
402
00:35:58,004 --> 00:35:59,587
Now for you and me,
403
00:36:00,962 --> 00:36:02,462
this axis
404
00:36:03,712 --> 00:36:05,504
is our spine or our backbone.
405
00:36:07,087 --> 00:36:08,462
And along this axis
406
00:36:10,004 --> 00:36:11,837
are various centers of force.
407
00:36:24,962 --> 00:36:26,462
Centers of force?
408
00:37:11,587 --> 00:37:14,187
They're all very important,
these different centers of the body.
409
00:37:15,421 --> 00:37:18,962
The brain, the throat,
410
00:37:20,337 --> 00:37:22,004
the solar plexus.
411
00:37:23,962 --> 00:37:26,504
But the most important of all
412
00:37:27,171 --> 00:37:29,004
is the heart.
413
00:37:29,546 --> 00:37:31,796
"Follow its sincere
purpose," the Hopi say,
414
00:37:32,129 --> 00:37:33,754
"and you are of one heart."
415
00:37:35,837 --> 00:37:37,504
"Allow evil thoughts to enter,"
416
00:37:39,087 --> 00:37:41,087
"and you are of two hearts."
417
00:37:43,879 --> 00:37:45,462
The Tibetans and Hindus believed
418
00:37:45,754 --> 00:37:48,629
in an almost identical series
of centers in the body.
419
00:37:50,004 --> 00:37:52,212
The most interesting part
is how the Hopi medicine man
420
00:37:52,546 --> 00:37:54,462
takes these centers of force,
421
00:37:56,004 --> 00:37:57,171
and treats someone.
422
00:37:58,546 --> 00:38:01,087
You see, he can tell what's
wrong with just his hands.
423
00:38:02,296 --> 00:38:04,546
You can feel the vibrations in each center
424
00:38:05,587 --> 00:38:09,754
and find in which one life
runs strongest or weakest.
425
00:38:41,629 --> 00:38:45,712
Sometimes what's wrong
is what you'd call illness.
426
00:38:47,421 --> 00:38:50,504
But other times it comes from outside.
427
00:38:53,087 --> 00:38:56,546
Drawn by our own evil thoughts
and those of a two heart.
428
00:38:59,254 --> 00:39:01,212
- What's this?
- Mushroom tea.
429
00:39:01,629 --> 00:39:02,629
It'll cleanse you.
430
00:39:03,837 --> 00:39:08,004
And that way, he can see
the source of the trouble
431
00:39:08,421 --> 00:39:11,629
and the Hopi say the actual
face of the two heart,
432
00:39:11,962 --> 00:39:12,962
who's causing it.
433
00:39:14,379 --> 00:39:17,296
Um, tell me you got a
crystal in that bag of yours.
434
00:39:18,254 --> 00:39:18,671
No.
435
00:39:19,004 --> 00:39:21,212
'Cause I could stand
to know the two hearts
436
00:39:21,504 --> 00:39:22,504
causing me my pain.
437
00:39:22,754 --> 00:39:25,421
Works though, this kind of healing.
438
00:39:26,379 --> 00:39:29,337
Modern medicine and any science,
when you think about it,
439
00:39:29,671 --> 00:39:31,671
is a belief system,
440
00:39:32,171 --> 00:39:34,921
A religion like any other religion.
441
00:39:36,379 --> 00:39:38,879
Medicine works because
we believe it will work.
442
00:39:39,462 --> 00:39:41,337
You know, sometimes it just works.
443
00:39:41,671 --> 00:39:43,171
And a lot of times it doesn't.
444
00:39:45,087 --> 00:39:48,629
And the medicine man,
he uses his crystals.
445
00:40:02,046 --> 00:40:03,712
This is the teaching crystal.
446
00:40:12,296 --> 00:40:13,629
This is the shaman's crystal.
447
00:40:16,754 --> 00:40:19,671
He looks through it at
each of the centers.
448
00:40:48,379 --> 00:40:49,962
They understand themselves.
449
00:40:51,004 --> 00:40:52,004
The Hopis.
450
00:41:00,212 --> 00:41:03,129
I like clergymen even
less than I like doctors.
451
00:41:03,546 --> 00:41:05,837
That's because you worship
at the temple of art,
452
00:41:06,296 --> 00:41:08,136
which is a whole lot like
the temple of science
453
00:41:08,379 --> 00:41:09,462
when you get down to it.
454
00:41:10,337 --> 00:41:14,046
Your God is a jealous God.
The most jealous God of all.
455
00:41:16,462 --> 00:41:17,629
The God of reason.
456
00:41:18,046 --> 00:41:20,379
Oh, what do you suggest, that I convert?
457
00:41:20,921 --> 00:41:22,296
Become a Hopi mystic?
458
00:41:23,796 --> 00:41:25,129
Can you do that, by the way?
459
00:41:25,962 --> 00:41:27,546
Convert to another race?
460
00:41:27,962 --> 00:41:29,602
The point I was
making really is that
461
00:41:30,296 --> 00:41:31,921
without realizing it,
462
00:41:33,212 --> 00:41:34,962
we've given up one form of mysticism
463
00:41:35,296 --> 00:41:38,046
for another, more socially
acceptable form of mysticism.
464
00:41:38,462 --> 00:41:39,004
Now I don't know about you,
465
00:41:39,337 --> 00:41:41,057
but I've never seen a
black hole or a quark.
466
00:41:41,171 --> 00:41:42,331
They may exist, they may not.
467
00:41:43,379 --> 00:41:45,046
Personally, I have no way of knowing.
468
00:41:45,796 --> 00:41:47,004
What I do know is
469
00:41:47,796 --> 00:41:49,587
that I've seen Hopis walk away healed
470
00:41:49,921 --> 00:41:52,712
by a medicine man using no
more than a pair of hands
471
00:41:53,046 --> 00:41:54,046
and a few crystals.
472
00:41:54,712 --> 00:41:56,587
Christ, you're patronizing.
473
00:41:57,587 --> 00:41:59,087
All I'm saying is that
474
00:41:59,962 --> 00:42:04,379
we, everyone, have replaced
the system of belief
475
00:42:04,671 --> 00:42:06,087
with a system of disbelief.
476
00:42:07,087 --> 00:42:09,546
And that it's found its way
into everything we do and think.
477
00:42:10,004 --> 00:42:11,962
We've lost our capacity for wonder.
478
00:42:12,462 --> 00:42:14,337
And this is the insidious part.
479
00:42:14,879 --> 00:42:16,587
No one even knows it's happened.
480
00:42:17,004 --> 00:42:18,004
Except for you.
481
00:42:30,129 --> 00:42:33,046
They understand themselves, the Hopis.
482
00:42:39,754 --> 00:42:40,837
I just got it.
483
00:42:41,962 --> 00:42:43,546
What do you think?
484
00:42:47,504 --> 00:42:49,754
Doesn't matter what I think.
485
00:42:50,462 --> 00:42:53,296
Well, what do you mean, it
doesn't matter what you think? I...
486
00:42:54,296 --> 00:42:55,546
I want your opinion.
487
00:42:57,921 --> 00:43:01,421
There's
only one reason to do art.
488
00:43:02,254 --> 00:43:03,587
It needs to be done.
489
00:43:05,129 --> 00:43:08,087
He did it. So why discuss it?
490
00:43:08,879 --> 00:43:10,462
Oh, come on.
491
00:43:11,004 --> 00:43:12,796
I just wanted to know what you think.
492
00:43:17,004 --> 00:43:19,629
Where have you been,
Fitch? In your travels.
493
00:43:20,171 --> 00:43:22,671
More places than
I can sometimes remember.
494
00:43:23,004 --> 00:43:24,004
For example?
495
00:43:25,212 --> 00:43:26,452
Wherever the spirit takes me.
496
00:43:26,754 --> 00:43:30,504
Far East, Africa, a year with
the Aborigines in Australia.
497
00:43:32,337 --> 00:43:34,421
Sort of massaged your
way from one end of the world
498
00:43:34,754 --> 00:43:35,754
to the other, huh?
499
00:43:37,046 --> 00:43:38,046
I envy that.
500
00:43:38,879 --> 00:43:42,379
- What? Traveling the world.
- Having no responsibilities.
501
00:43:42,712 --> 00:43:44,171
No responsibilities?
502
00:43:44,712 --> 00:43:45,921
Just the opposite I think.
503
00:43:47,379 --> 00:43:49,129
Why did you come here tonight?
504
00:43:49,754 --> 00:43:50,754
Why wouldn't I?
505
00:43:51,546 --> 00:43:54,171
The Far East, Africa, Aborigines.
506
00:43:54,587 --> 00:43:57,004
I'm not your style.
507
00:43:58,004 --> 00:44:01,962
Doug asked me to. He
said you were different.
508
00:44:02,712 --> 00:44:06,629
Did he? I like him.
509
00:44:07,462 --> 00:44:09,087
He said of all the people he knew,
510
00:44:10,046 --> 00:44:11,587
you were the one who was most...
511
00:44:11,921 --> 00:44:14,379
- What?
- Adrift.
512
00:44:16,296 --> 00:44:19,129
- Adrift?
- That was the word.
513
00:44:21,504 --> 00:44:22,546
Why would he say that?
514
00:44:22,962 --> 00:44:24,129
Doug's got the touch.
515
00:44:26,754 --> 00:44:28,594
Well, what do you
suppose that means? Adrift.
516
00:44:28,671 --> 00:44:31,254
I mean, what does that mean?
517
00:44:32,504 --> 00:44:35,212
Your heart, your
spirit. You're searching.
518
00:44:36,337 --> 00:44:38,212
How would he know? He's a kid.
519
00:44:38,796 --> 00:44:41,379
Not as much of a kid as
he thinks he is. Turn over.
520
00:44:43,254 --> 00:44:46,004
All my life, it's been the same thing.
521
00:44:47,337 --> 00:44:49,962
Men refusing to see me for what I am.
522
00:44:50,629 --> 00:44:53,587
Projecting their idea of who
I should be on me instead.
523
00:44:54,337 --> 00:44:56,712
Now even the guy who
does my massages
524
00:44:57,421 --> 00:44:58,921
wants me to be something I'm not.
525
00:44:59,712 --> 00:45:00,712
And what's that?
526
00:45:01,254 --> 00:45:03,546
A tormented, career-obsessed woman.
527
00:45:04,087 --> 00:45:05,754
I mean, why not take a little risk
528
00:45:06,462 --> 00:45:09,046
and actually get to know
someone on a more complex level?
529
00:45:11,546 --> 00:45:13,004
I really thought more of Douglas.
530
00:45:13,546 --> 00:45:16,546
I know he's your friend, but...
531
00:45:16,921 --> 00:45:18,421
I really thought more of him.
532
00:45:19,004 --> 00:45:20,004
So is it a risk?
533
00:45:20,629 --> 00:45:22,379
- What?
- Complexity.
534
00:45:23,671 --> 00:45:25,171
Just now you said he wouldn't risk
535
00:45:25,462 --> 00:45:26,902
knowing you on a more complex level,
536
00:45:27,046 --> 00:45:30,087
so is complexity dangerous?
537
00:45:30,712 --> 00:45:33,962
- Isn't it?
- Well, you said it was.
538
00:45:34,712 --> 00:45:35,337
Well, it is.
539
00:45:35,629 --> 00:45:37,879
Get, getting to know
someone is always a risk.
540
00:45:39,337 --> 00:45:41,671
- In what way?
- In every way.
541
00:45:42,629 --> 00:45:43,796
In every conceivable way.
542
00:46:04,462 --> 00:46:05,587
I'm not sure I get it.
543
00:46:20,004 --> 00:46:22,004
I find myself thinking
about you all the time.
544
00:46:22,712 --> 00:46:24,004
Is that a bad thing?
545
00:46:26,837 --> 00:46:28,462
That's what I was gonna ask you.
546
00:46:29,254 --> 00:46:33,254
Hmm, is everything in your
life always so complicated?
547
00:46:34,462 --> 00:46:37,587
No. Just the important things.
548
00:47:13,087 --> 00:47:15,004
Intimacy, whether it's emotional
549
00:47:15,504 --> 00:47:17,421
or intellectual or sexual,
550
00:47:17,879 --> 00:47:19,629
I think it can be very threatening.
551
00:47:20,462 --> 00:47:23,129
Threatening or a risk?
552
00:47:23,796 --> 00:47:25,921
Semantics? Christ.
553
00:47:27,462 --> 00:47:28,688
No, I'm just trying to understand you.
554
00:47:28,712 --> 00:47:29,752
You said said Doug didn't.
555
00:47:30,421 --> 00:47:32,712
So I'm trying to. Lay down.
556
00:47:34,337 --> 00:47:35,546
That's what these are for.
557
00:47:47,254 --> 00:47:50,546
Colors draw things out
of you, even in silence.
558
00:47:52,087 --> 00:47:54,629
It's a fundamental difference
between men and women.
559
00:47:55,421 --> 00:47:56,421
What is?
560
00:47:57,379 --> 00:47:59,129
The degree of intimacy they're willing
561
00:47:59,421 --> 00:48:00,712
to open themselves up to.
562
00:48:01,504 --> 00:48:04,962
I mean, any relationship, not
just a romantic sexual one.
563
00:48:06,004 --> 00:48:07,087
And you base that on?
564
00:48:07,712 --> 00:48:08,712
How did this happen?
565
00:48:08,796 --> 00:48:10,421
Back up. Turn slowly one way.
566
00:48:10,712 --> 00:48:12,112
I thought I
came here to sketch you.
567
00:48:14,796 --> 00:48:17,587
Well, I'm not sure
there is this huge difference.
568
00:48:18,254 --> 00:48:19,629
I haven't seen it, anyway.
569
00:48:20,004 --> 00:48:21,962
Are you trying to get a rise out of me?
570
00:48:22,296 --> 00:48:24,337
Does it sound like
that? I didn't mean it to.
571
00:48:25,921 --> 00:48:28,004
It's this whole thing we used to debate.
572
00:48:29,004 --> 00:48:30,962
Of what drives a man after sex.
573
00:48:31,379 --> 00:48:33,179
I mean, is it nature or
nurture that makes him
574
00:48:33,254 --> 00:48:35,921
wanna run for the door while a
woman would lie there forever?
575
00:48:36,337 --> 00:48:36,879
And that's the difference?
576
00:48:37,212 --> 00:48:39,379
The etiquette of sex with a stranger?
577
00:48:39,921 --> 00:48:42,087
I never said anything about strangers.
578
00:48:43,129 --> 00:48:45,004
Well, as much as a man might be tempted,
579
00:48:45,587 --> 00:48:47,267
I don't think he's gonna bolt for the door
580
00:48:47,462 --> 00:48:49,171
the minute he's had sex with his wife.
581
00:48:51,921 --> 00:48:54,171
Obviously, you don't
know the same men I do.
582
00:48:55,796 --> 00:48:58,087
That's good. Now turn slow.
583
00:48:58,421 --> 00:48:59,796
This better be good.
584
00:49:01,212 --> 00:49:02,462
- Show it to me.
- No.
585
00:49:03,004 --> 00:49:04,462
- Come show me.
- You like it?
586
00:49:05,879 --> 00:49:07,254
You're so bad.
587
00:49:08,129 --> 00:49:12,837
What a man wants is an
illusion of what a woman is.
588
00:49:13,504 --> 00:49:15,212
What a man and a woman are together.
589
00:49:17,379 --> 00:49:19,546
Any less of
an illusion, your idea?
590
00:49:20,171 --> 00:49:21,171
What's that?
591
00:49:22,087 --> 00:49:23,296
That all men are alike.
592
00:49:24,004 --> 00:49:25,105
I'm exactly the same as Doug.
593
00:49:25,129 --> 00:49:25,796
Doug's exactly the same as
594
00:49:26,087 --> 00:49:27,837
All men are alike
595
00:49:28,879 --> 00:49:31,337
in certain fundamental respects.
596
00:49:31,962 --> 00:49:33,546
I speak from experience.
597
00:49:35,171 --> 00:49:39,004
Two bad marriages, count
'em, before I was 27.
598
00:49:40,171 --> 00:49:42,504
There are some variations, but
599
00:49:42,837 --> 00:49:44,087
they don't amount to much.
600
00:49:46,171 --> 00:49:47,171
Except for...
601
00:49:54,296 --> 00:49:55,879
I want you to sit for me.
602
00:49:58,337 --> 00:50:00,254
I want you to see yourself as I see you.
603
00:50:05,754 --> 00:50:08,921
- Except for what?
- Nothing.
604
00:50:18,087 --> 00:50:20,337
You really don't have to
bother with that, you know?
605
00:50:23,921 --> 00:50:24,921
What's that?
606
00:50:25,087 --> 00:50:26,671
The towel, covering up.
607
00:50:27,587 --> 00:50:29,046
I'm afraid I'm not very modest.
608
00:50:29,962 --> 00:50:32,587
Uh, I actually prefer it with nothing on.
609
00:50:33,254 --> 00:50:34,671
That's how Doug always does it.
610
00:50:35,254 --> 00:50:36,921
Yeah, but Doug
can get away with it.
611
00:50:38,379 --> 00:50:39,837
Get, get away with it, how?
612
00:50:40,754 --> 00:50:41,754
Being gay.
613
00:50:45,837 --> 00:50:47,212
- Gay?
- Doug.
614
00:50:48,837 --> 00:50:51,254
- You knew he was gay.
- Of course.
615
00:50:52,546 --> 00:50:55,462
- He said you did.
- Yeah, sure.
616
00:50:56,921 --> 00:50:59,046
He's usually
very upfront about it.
617
00:51:00,296 --> 00:51:01,296
Very upfront.
618
00:51:10,546 --> 00:51:11,754
That's how he and I met.
619
00:51:13,254 --> 00:51:14,254
He thought I was gay.
620
00:51:16,046 --> 00:51:17,726
Well, actually a friend
of his I worked on,
621
00:51:17,754 --> 00:51:18,796
he thought I was gay.
622
00:51:19,212 --> 00:51:21,587
- You're not?
- No.
623
00:51:23,379 --> 00:51:26,629
But Doug thinks everybody's
gay. That's part of his charm.
624
00:51:28,879 --> 00:51:31,629
I think he's bisexual
in some half-assed way.
625
00:51:33,671 --> 00:51:34,712
Nevertheless.
626
00:51:36,629 --> 00:51:38,587
- What?
- Still?
627
00:51:39,046 --> 00:51:40,962
- Yeah?
- The towel.
628
00:52:21,796 --> 00:52:24,212
If you're ever interested in
something a little different,
629
00:52:24,629 --> 00:52:26,421
you might like to try shiatsu.
630
00:52:28,046 --> 00:52:29,379
It's all about stimulating
631
00:52:31,046 --> 00:52:32,962
energies in different parts of the body.
632
00:52:36,962 --> 00:52:39,629
No oil used at all.
633
00:52:41,504 --> 00:52:43,421
Skin rarely touches skin.
634
00:52:56,712 --> 00:52:58,296
You're getting pretty good at this.
635
00:52:59,046 --> 00:53:01,337
You better be careful or you'll spoil me.
636
00:53:04,546 --> 00:53:05,546
And if I do?
637
00:53:07,129 --> 00:53:08,688
Well, you're the one
who's gonna have to live
638
00:53:08,712 --> 00:53:10,171
with the consequences.
639
00:53:14,671 --> 00:53:15,671
I'll risk it.
640
00:53:19,504 --> 00:53:21,087
I tried it once.
641
00:53:25,712 --> 00:53:28,712
Tell me about your family, Fitch.
642
00:53:29,546 --> 00:53:32,087
- My family?
- Your family, now gone.
643
00:53:33,379 --> 00:53:34,671
There's not much to tell.
644
00:53:36,046 --> 00:53:37,462
What was your father?
645
00:53:40,504 --> 00:53:43,462
Executive. Ad man.
646
00:53:45,254 --> 00:53:46,712
My father's family had money.
647
00:53:47,796 --> 00:53:51,379
My mother's side too.
Not a lot, but money.
648
00:53:53,337 --> 00:53:56,046
Comfortable would be how
they described themselves.
649
00:54:00,254 --> 00:54:02,296
We used to do things
like dress for dinner
650
00:54:03,837 --> 00:54:04,921
on a Saturday night.
651
00:54:05,254 --> 00:54:06,379
Sounds like fun.
652
00:54:08,046 --> 00:54:09,712
Sometimes we'd have guests.
653
00:54:10,504 --> 00:54:11,879
Someone from my father's agency,
654
00:54:12,337 --> 00:54:15,379
some client and his wife.
655
00:54:17,796 --> 00:54:19,462
But usually it was just the family.
656
00:54:21,004 --> 00:54:23,671
My parents, my sister and me.
657
00:54:27,004 --> 00:54:30,837
It's funny talking about roles.
658
00:54:32,671 --> 00:54:35,337
My parents had these roles,
which they seem to inhabit.
659
00:54:37,837 --> 00:54:39,004
You can get up now.
660
00:54:49,171 --> 00:54:51,004
My father, the shrewd businessman,
661
00:54:51,337 --> 00:54:53,671
my mother, the thoughtful
patron of the arts.
662
00:54:57,712 --> 00:55:00,171
Which as it turned out,
was a kind of fiction.
663
00:55:02,921 --> 00:55:03,921
How?
664
00:55:05,587 --> 00:55:06,813
Well, it was all the same to her.
665
00:55:06,837 --> 00:55:09,171
Classical music, classical art.
666
00:55:10,296 --> 00:55:12,837
Didn't matter who or what
it was. It was all lovely.
667
00:55:14,462 --> 00:55:17,046
The woman, and I've
almost come to admire this
668
00:55:17,337 --> 00:55:18,587
about her over the years,
669
00:55:19,337 --> 00:55:21,212
didn't have a critical bone in her body.
670
00:55:23,504 --> 00:55:26,337
She was the type of person
they created public television for.
671
00:55:27,337 --> 00:55:28,796
One night, it was one of these...
672
00:55:30,212 --> 00:55:31,337
Saturday night deals
673
00:55:31,671 --> 00:55:33,431
and there was a very
important client coming.
674
00:55:35,212 --> 00:55:38,046
All the men were supposed
to wear a black tie.
675
00:55:39,462 --> 00:55:41,879
About 10 minutes before
the guests were to arrive,
676
00:55:43,296 --> 00:55:45,171
I came downstairs dressed and ready.
677
00:55:47,796 --> 00:55:50,671
My father took one look at me,
678
00:55:52,337 --> 00:55:54,421
and let's say he wasn't pleased.
679
00:55:55,379 --> 00:55:58,629
- Why?
- It was my bow tie.
680
00:56:00,129 --> 00:56:02,462
He said that by wearing one
of those clip-on bow ties,
681
00:56:02,796 --> 00:56:05,212
I was humiliating him beyond humiliation.
682
00:56:06,754 --> 00:56:11,504
He said that, "Areal
gentleman ties his own tie.
683
00:56:11,921 --> 00:56:13,504
You look like a bus boy."
684
00:56:16,796 --> 00:56:17,962
That's nice.
685
00:56:18,296 --> 00:56:20,796
- You were how old?
- 17.
686
00:56:22,087 --> 00:56:24,796
But he wasn't ranting, you
have to understand. Never.
687
00:56:25,504 --> 00:56:26,671
What did you do?
688
00:56:27,671 --> 00:56:28,837
I pulled the tie apart.
689
00:56:29,712 --> 00:56:30,712
What do you mean?
690
00:56:30,879 --> 00:56:32,546
Well, it wasn't a clip-on, you see.
691
00:56:33,296 --> 00:56:35,671
It was one of your
standard J Press bow ties.
692
00:56:36,962 --> 00:56:40,754
I'd tied it so well,
I'd done it so perfectly
693
00:56:41,796 --> 00:56:42,879
that it looked too good.
694
00:56:44,796 --> 00:56:46,254
What did he do then?
695
00:56:46,837 --> 00:56:48,462
He told me to re-tie it.
696
00:56:52,754 --> 00:56:53,754
Re-tie it.
697
00:57:17,087 --> 00:57:18,796
- That's it?
- That's it.
698
00:57:20,212 --> 00:57:22,129
No apologies, or...
699
00:57:23,671 --> 00:57:25,254
- And you weren't angry?
- No.
700
00:57:25,962 --> 00:57:26,962
On your side.
701
00:57:27,254 --> 00:57:30,004
- Not at all?
- Wasn't about anger.
702
00:57:32,212 --> 00:57:33,337
What was it about?
703
00:57:37,629 --> 00:57:41,337
Responsibilities. Expectations.
704
00:57:42,296 --> 00:57:45,296
My mother, my father, they
were trapped.
705
00:57:45,879 --> 00:57:48,796
Trapped by their
responsibilities to things
706
00:57:49,087 --> 00:57:50,397
that they never thought twice about.
707
00:57:50,421 --> 00:57:54,296
Trapped by their own
expectations of themselves.
708
00:57:56,921 --> 00:57:58,441
I don't know anyone who doesn't feel
709
00:57:58,504 --> 00:58:01,087
some sort of ambivalence
toward their parents.
710
00:58:01,671 --> 00:58:03,254
They are who they are.
711
00:58:03,671 --> 00:58:05,212
You are who they are.
712
00:58:05,837 --> 00:58:07,087
But then again, you're not.
713
00:58:08,254 --> 00:58:09,574
I wasn't ambivalent about them.
714
00:58:09,879 --> 00:58:11,087
Not at all. I liked them.
715
00:58:13,129 --> 00:58:15,379
I totally accepted who they were.
716
00:58:16,712 --> 00:58:18,129
Maybe even more than they did.
717
00:58:42,296 --> 00:58:46,296
Angels keep their ancient places,
718
00:58:46,754 --> 00:58:48,921
Turn but a stone and start a wing.
719
00:58:49,462 --> 00:58:50,462
What is that?
720
00:58:50,712 --> 00:58:53,129
I don't know. It's just
this poem I once knew.
721
00:58:54,046 --> 00:58:55,921
It's funny how I just remembered it.
722
00:59:03,212 --> 00:59:04,647
They're the same. Did you know that?
723
00:59:04,671 --> 00:59:05,879
Those two songs.
724
00:59:07,046 --> 00:59:09,504
"Streets of Laredo" and
"St. James Infirmary."
725
00:59:10,879 --> 00:59:12,462
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
726
00:59:13,754 --> 00:59:15,354
It started out as the
same song, and then
727
00:59:15,546 --> 00:59:18,296
just over the years,
went in different places.
728
00:59:19,921 --> 00:59:22,837
See? Out of one place, a lot
of different things could come.
729
00:59:26,629 --> 00:59:30,587
With my family, my
parents, it was more, what?
730
00:59:31,421 --> 00:59:32,921
Being invisible, I guess.
731
00:59:33,921 --> 00:59:35,796
My father was an engineer,
732
00:59:36,296 --> 00:59:39,212
and he used to invent all these
things that you'd never see.
733
00:59:39,962 --> 00:59:42,379
Things that went inside these
huge industrial machines
734
00:59:42,671 --> 00:59:46,254
to make them run faster, smoother, safer.
735
00:59:47,671 --> 00:59:50,046
But he never owned any of his inventions.
736
00:59:50,337 --> 00:59:51,462
His company did.
737
00:59:52,129 --> 00:59:54,254
So he never made any
real money to speak of.
738
00:59:55,254 --> 00:59:58,046
And the things he created
went inside other things. So,
739
00:59:58,379 --> 01:00:01,171
no one outside that company
even knew who he was.
740
01:00:03,296 --> 01:00:04,962
He just did his thing.
741
01:00:07,462 --> 01:00:08,879
Maybe he liked it that way.
742
01:00:10,462 --> 01:00:12,421
Maybe he didn't want any recognition.
743
01:00:13,421 --> 01:00:14,962
Everyone wants recognition.
744
01:00:20,129 --> 01:00:21,837
The Hopis have a word for it.
745
01:00:22,546 --> 01:00:24,962
Pinu'u. It means I am I.
746
01:00:27,004 --> 01:00:29,587
With my mother, it was
pretty much the same thing.
747
01:00:30,504 --> 01:00:32,254
She had one of the only acceptable jobs
748
01:00:32,587 --> 01:00:34,046
a woman had in those days.
749
01:00:34,629 --> 01:00:36,296
A nurse, and a good one.
750
01:00:38,796 --> 01:00:41,921
But like most other nurses,
she was completely ignored,
751
01:00:42,921 --> 01:00:45,754
totally stepped on by every
doctor she ever worked with.
752
01:00:47,671 --> 01:00:49,462
It used to break my heart to see it,
753
01:00:50,087 --> 01:00:51,171
two people like that.
754
01:00:52,879 --> 01:00:55,296
As gifted as they were, as caring.
755
01:00:56,462 --> 01:00:58,004
I swore I wouldn't live that way.
756
01:01:02,337 --> 01:01:04,837
Which is what led me to Andy, I suppose.
757
01:01:07,921 --> 01:01:09,601
He was on the faculty
of the art department
758
01:01:09,879 --> 01:01:11,421
at the college I was going to.
759
01:01:12,629 --> 01:01:15,212
For someone like me, a small town girl,
760
01:01:15,546 --> 01:01:19,254
18, anonymous,
it was liberation.
761
01:01:20,837 --> 01:01:22,962
It took three years,
but we finally did it.
762
01:01:23,546 --> 01:01:25,129
Got married.
763
01:01:25,962 --> 01:01:29,004
My parents weren't very pleased.
764
01:01:31,087 --> 01:01:32,421
How long were you married?
765
01:01:33,921 --> 01:01:35,837
Hmm, good question. Let's see.
766
01:01:36,962 --> 01:01:38,212
Two, three weeks, anyway.
767
01:01:38,754 --> 01:01:39,754
What happened?
768
01:01:41,129 --> 01:01:43,754
Well, as popular as my
husband was on campus,
769
01:01:44,046 --> 01:01:46,046
he was revered south of the border.
770
01:01:47,046 --> 01:01:50,462
And hard as it is to believe
today, I didn't have a clue.
771
01:02:03,046 --> 01:02:04,254
Hey, where you goin'?
772
01:02:05,129 --> 01:02:06,129
Hey.
773
01:02:08,087 --> 01:02:09,087
It's all there. Go.
774
01:02:10,879 --> 01:02:13,546
I was 18, 19, 20. I was a child.
775
01:02:20,671 --> 01:02:22,254
Eager for attention.
776
01:02:23,837 --> 01:02:27,212
Andy was charming. But the
truth is he wasn't very smart.
777
01:02:27,796 --> 01:02:29,921
Made one too many trips through customs.
778
01:02:32,754 --> 01:02:33,754
All right, sign this.
779
01:02:36,462 --> 01:02:38,337
I can give him the forms
on Kevin Locke.
780
01:02:38,712 --> 01:02:39,712
Sit here and wait.
781
01:02:49,712 --> 01:02:52,504
I guess I should be grateful
it wasn't on our honeymoon.
782
01:02:54,796 --> 01:02:56,796
Yeah, I did it for attention. Sure.
783
01:02:58,587 --> 01:03:00,837
Which can't be said
about my second husband.
784
01:03:01,921 --> 01:03:04,254
'Cause I took my parents'
advice after that.
785
01:03:04,796 --> 01:03:08,129
Settled down with a decent,
honorable, hardworking boy.
786
01:03:09,212 --> 01:03:10,712
It was like a four year nap.
787
01:03:14,129 --> 01:03:15,671
They were mistakes.
788
01:03:16,546 --> 01:03:19,046
- But you learned from 'em.
- Not really.
789
01:03:20,379 --> 01:03:21,379
Well, maybe.
790
01:03:22,212 --> 01:03:23,962
I did decide that the only men
791
01:03:24,254 --> 01:03:26,212
you should ever seriously
consider marrying
792
01:03:26,504 --> 01:03:28,462
are those who already are.
793
01:03:28,921 --> 01:03:31,462
For the most part, they've
had some experience on it.
794
01:03:36,671 --> 01:03:38,046
Let's take a break.
795
01:03:51,212 --> 01:03:55,171
Heat, like a hot bath can
sometimes stimulate or relax.
796
01:03:57,504 --> 01:04:00,212
This is the kind of Japanese
acupuncture where we use heat
797
01:04:01,004 --> 01:04:02,421
instead of needles.
798
01:04:03,462 --> 01:04:04,796
And we put it on here,
799
01:04:07,962 --> 01:04:10,379
and we put it on here for nervous tension.
800
01:04:15,504 --> 01:04:16,796
So how about you?
801
01:04:18,046 --> 01:04:19,171
How about me what?
802
01:04:20,546 --> 01:04:21,546
Married?
803
01:04:22,837 --> 01:04:23,837
No.
804
01:04:24,546 --> 01:04:27,087
- Never?
- Never.
805
01:04:27,546 --> 01:04:28,546
Close?
806
01:04:29,962 --> 01:04:32,379
- Maybe, I suppose so.
- Depends how close you mean.
807
01:04:34,421 --> 01:04:38,296
A serious relationship,
a meaningful relationship.
808
01:04:39,087 --> 01:04:41,046
You've had one of those, I would hope.
809
01:04:41,504 --> 01:04:42,879
I would hope so.
810
01:04:43,754 --> 01:04:46,546
Nothing that stirred
the old conjugal instinct?
811
01:04:47,087 --> 01:04:48,407
An instinct. Is that what it is?
812
01:04:48,837 --> 01:04:50,629
The desire to mate? Sure.
813
01:04:51,046 --> 01:04:53,379
The desire to mate is
not the desire to marry.
814
01:04:55,087 --> 01:04:56,254
No, I suppose not.
815
01:04:57,379 --> 01:04:59,019
No more than standing in a firing squad
816
01:04:59,171 --> 01:05:01,421
is the same as standing in
front of a firing squad.
817
01:05:02,962 --> 01:05:03,962
Right.
818
01:05:04,712 --> 01:05:06,105
What's getting married about, anyway?
819
01:05:06,129 --> 01:05:09,337
Two people swept up in
some out of control,
820
01:05:09,671 --> 01:05:11,671
delusive kind of passion, swearing to God
821
01:05:12,004 --> 01:05:14,204
they're gonna stay that way
for the rest of their lives.
822
01:05:14,462 --> 01:05:16,462
Oh, so you're a romantic.
823
01:05:17,837 --> 01:05:19,477
For me, what comes out of an experience
824
01:05:19,629 --> 01:05:22,296
isn't nearly so interesting
as the experience itself.
825
01:05:30,962 --> 01:05:33,337
How many people know passion?
I mean, really know it?
826
01:05:35,837 --> 01:05:36,837
Who was she?
827
01:05:38,754 --> 01:05:39,754
How'd you meet her?
828
01:05:49,296 --> 01:05:51,462
I was running from
myself and she wasn't.
829
01:05:54,421 --> 01:05:56,629
Some people from the
moment they're born
830
01:05:57,379 --> 01:05:58,462
know what their destiny is.
831
01:05:58,754 --> 01:05:59,754
They live with it.
832
01:06:01,462 --> 01:06:02,879
It's as much a part of them
833
01:06:04,254 --> 01:06:05,879
as the color of their eyes.
834
01:06:06,379 --> 01:06:07,379
Is it on?
835
01:06:09,379 --> 01:06:10,379
It's on.
836
01:06:10,879 --> 01:06:12,379
Okay, don't look.
837
01:06:37,962 --> 01:06:39,712
But it makes them a little old too.
838
01:06:42,379 --> 01:06:43,879
It's because they understand.
839
01:06:44,754 --> 01:06:47,754
- Understand what?
- Everything.
840
01:06:54,504 --> 01:06:56,421
You're rich.
841
01:06:58,296 --> 01:07:01,587
It's not your fault.
That's why you're here.
842
01:07:03,837 --> 01:07:06,462
Because you can afford to
run away from your problems.
843
01:07:15,337 --> 01:07:17,129
So what happened to her?
844
01:08:16,046 --> 01:08:19,296
- People drift apart.
- Not always.
845
01:08:20,462 --> 01:08:21,546
More often than not.
846
01:08:23,421 --> 01:08:24,981
You get to a point of knowing a person,
847
01:08:25,212 --> 01:08:26,962
then you start asking what's left.
848
01:08:28,046 --> 01:08:30,712
Well, maybe you just think
you've gotten to that point.
849
01:08:31,129 --> 01:08:32,546
Well, that's what I've found.
850
01:08:34,129 --> 01:08:35,129
At some point,
851
01:08:35,671 --> 01:08:38,546
you just realize there are not
going to be any more surprises.
852
01:08:40,921 --> 01:08:45,254
Just decide what
it is you want me to do.
853
01:08:49,546 --> 01:08:51,546
Just decide and tell me.
854
01:08:52,546 --> 01:08:56,337
- And you like surprises?
- Or is it variety?
855
01:09:00,004 --> 01:09:03,171
I don't. I don't like surprises.
856
01:09:03,504 --> 01:09:04,879
I don't like variety.
857
01:09:06,296 --> 01:09:08,171
Variety is some guy in
a leather jockstrap,
858
01:09:08,504 --> 01:09:10,171
who's just had his nipples pierced.
859
01:09:11,337 --> 01:09:12,962
Don't think I haven't dated them.
860
01:09:19,837 --> 01:09:22,212
I guess I shouldn't blame people
861
01:09:22,546 --> 01:09:23,712
for what they think of me,
862
01:09:24,587 --> 01:09:26,212
no more than I blame myself.
863
01:09:42,754 --> 01:09:45,504
I'm seeing something for
the first time looking at you.
864
01:09:46,421 --> 01:09:47,421
What's that?
865
01:09:49,337 --> 01:09:50,337
An empty room.
866
01:09:51,962 --> 01:09:52,962
A locked door.
867
01:10:03,462 --> 01:10:06,587
So much of what people do
is just invention anyway.
868
01:10:07,379 --> 01:10:11,171
Inventing themselves.
Inventing their friendships.
869
01:10:12,712 --> 01:10:16,379
Is that what you did? Invent yourself.
870
01:10:17,837 --> 01:10:18,837
Didn't you?
871
01:10:19,921 --> 01:10:22,712
Poor little rich boy run
off to join the Indians?
872
01:10:24,921 --> 01:10:28,462
You know, the most
dangerous thing in the world
873
01:10:29,087 --> 01:10:31,421
is to think you've got
time to play it safe.
874
01:10:47,337 --> 01:10:48,837
Is that what it seems like?
875
01:10:51,129 --> 01:10:52,337
It's what it is.
876
01:10:58,337 --> 01:10:59,337
Where do you show?
877
01:11:01,379 --> 01:11:04,004
Where do I show?
878
01:11:07,796 --> 01:11:09,796
We're alike, I guess, you and me.
879
01:11:14,754 --> 01:11:16,296
You know nothing about me.
880
01:11:17,046 --> 01:11:20,462
- Don't I?
- Not a thing.
881
01:11:21,004 --> 01:11:24,046
I know self-indulgence
is not self-fulfillment.
882
01:11:24,504 --> 01:11:26,962
At least I don't
go hiding behind things.
883
01:11:27,962 --> 01:11:30,587
Yes, you do. In the worst possible way.
884
01:11:30,921 --> 01:11:31,961
You hide behind your soul,
885
01:11:32,212 --> 01:11:34,587
behind all this ooga booga bullshit.
886
01:11:45,671 --> 01:11:49,546
- Am I really an empty room?
- Yes.
887
01:12:04,879 --> 01:12:06,296
Even now?
888
01:12:52,837 --> 01:12:54,546
Is this how Doug does it?
889
01:12:55,837 --> 01:12:56,837
Excuse me?
890
01:13:30,337 --> 01:13:33,712
Maybe the whole
thing's a question of perception.
891
01:13:35,296 --> 01:13:36,337
What is?
892
01:13:37,421 --> 01:13:38,921
Well, it's not
the way people see you
893
01:13:39,254 --> 01:13:39,796
that's the problem.
894
01:13:40,087 --> 01:13:42,171
It's the way you see them seeing you.
895
01:13:42,962 --> 01:13:43,962
How do you mean?
896
01:13:44,796 --> 01:13:48,337
Like, Doug. He said you were,
the word he used was adrift.
897
01:13:50,504 --> 01:13:53,712
But he never said whether you
were single or not single.
898
01:13:54,046 --> 01:13:55,206
He never said anything at all
899
01:13:55,379 --> 01:13:57,296
beyond the initial observation, that is.
900
01:13:59,087 --> 01:14:00,754
I'm not sure I follow you.
901
01:14:03,837 --> 01:14:05,712
You like things, nice things.
902
01:14:07,462 --> 01:14:08,462
I do.
903
01:14:09,504 --> 01:14:12,379
And you have
nice things. Lots of them.
904
01:14:12,796 --> 01:14:13,796
A few.
905
01:14:15,587 --> 01:14:17,462
But you feel like a failure.
906
01:14:18,962 --> 01:14:21,087
- Did I say that?
- Don't you?
907
01:14:23,254 --> 01:14:24,688
You're gonna pull out your crystals
908
01:14:24,712 --> 01:14:26,129
and tell me I'm of two hearts?
909
01:14:28,254 --> 01:14:31,504
No, but what I believe
910
01:14:31,837 --> 01:14:33,671
is not ooga booga bullshit.
911
01:14:36,546 --> 01:14:38,587
It comes from firsthand experience.
912
01:14:42,212 --> 01:14:45,462
There are people who
have lots of possessions,
913
01:14:45,796 --> 01:14:47,296
and they're made miserable by them.
914
01:14:48,379 --> 01:14:50,504
And there are people who
live in refrigerator crates
915
01:14:50,796 --> 01:14:52,504
who would trade places in a second.
916
01:14:53,046 --> 01:14:56,212
I buy things, I admit it.
But I'm not a materialist.
917
01:14:56,587 --> 01:14:59,546
Not really, because to
me, things are things.
918
01:14:59,837 --> 01:15:00,837
They mean nothing.
919
01:15:01,671 --> 01:15:04,254
That's not true. They carry memories.
920
01:15:04,629 --> 01:15:08,212
That's what makes them meaningful.
There's a link to people.
921
01:15:09,837 --> 01:15:11,879
All I do is I usually
end up just
922
01:15:12,212 --> 01:15:15,546
frustrated by the conspicuous
consumption, angry even.
923
01:15:16,837 --> 01:15:19,129
That's because you think
that whatever you are buying
924
01:15:19,421 --> 01:15:22,171
is going to make you younger
or happier or sexier.
925
01:15:22,671 --> 01:15:24,212
I see what you're doing, you know.
926
01:15:24,629 --> 01:15:26,796
You're trying to convince
me how miserable I am.
927
01:15:27,129 --> 01:15:28,129
And am I succeeding?
928
01:15:28,254 --> 01:15:29,754
No, you're just pissing me off.
929
01:15:30,129 --> 01:15:31,129
And why is that?
930
01:15:31,171 --> 01:15:33,754
Because unlike you, I
wasn't given anything.
931
01:15:34,296 --> 01:15:36,712
And I'm not talking about money, not just.
932
01:15:37,379 --> 01:15:39,254
Everything I own, everything I have,
933
01:15:39,587 --> 01:15:41,004
I earned in one way or another.
934
01:15:41,337 --> 01:15:42,397
So don't tell me I'm wrong.
935
01:15:42,421 --> 01:15:43,754
Don't tell me I'm immoral
936
01:15:44,129 --> 01:15:46,671
because I chose to make something
of my life and you didn't.
937
01:15:47,087 --> 01:15:49,171
I mean, shouldn't a man
your age be something?
938
01:15:49,712 --> 01:15:51,504
I know you've made
something of your life.
939
01:15:51,879 --> 01:15:54,004
I'm just asking you what that is.
940
01:15:54,337 --> 01:15:57,004
No, you're not. Not anymore.
941
01:16:01,379 --> 01:16:03,837
You wanna know what the
difference is between you and me?
942
01:16:04,129 --> 01:16:05,129
Really?
943
01:16:06,421 --> 01:16:08,296
The difference is you've
spent so much time
944
01:16:08,629 --> 01:16:10,087
completely rationalizing your life
945
01:16:10,421 --> 01:16:11,837
that you actually believe it.
946
01:16:12,837 --> 01:16:14,504
You're a very lonely man, Fitch.
947
01:16:15,837 --> 01:16:16,962
You let him touch you.
948
01:16:19,837 --> 01:16:20,837
Who?
949
01:16:21,546 --> 01:16:23,004
You expect him to touch you.
950
01:16:24,337 --> 01:16:25,754
Expect who to?
951
01:16:26,129 --> 01:16:27,938
That's what it's about,
isn't it? Doug and you?
952
01:16:27,962 --> 01:16:29,462
It's about sex, isn't it?
953
01:16:34,296 --> 01:16:35,296
I don't know.
954
01:16:38,712 --> 01:16:40,504
Did he say something to you? Douglas?
955
01:16:42,879 --> 01:16:46,962
Christ. That obvious, huh?
956
01:16:50,962 --> 01:16:52,921
I know it doesn't mean anything to him.
957
01:16:53,296 --> 01:16:54,296
He's very discreet.
958
01:16:57,129 --> 01:17:00,337
It's not like he does
anything more than touch me.
959
01:17:03,379 --> 01:17:05,379
It's about as safe as sex gets these days.
960
01:17:09,379 --> 01:17:12,546
I try to be too. Discreet.
961
01:17:12,962 --> 01:17:14,046
We never talk about it.
962
01:17:15,462 --> 01:17:17,671
We just pretend it's part of the massage.
963
01:17:18,379 --> 01:17:19,379
Which it is.
964
01:17:21,796 --> 01:17:23,962
All relationships
are a form of currency,
965
01:17:24,296 --> 01:17:26,171
I've come to the unfortunate conclusion.
966
01:17:27,546 --> 01:17:29,879
I'm using you just like you're using me,
967
01:17:30,337 --> 01:17:33,254
using you, using me,
and on and on it goes.
968
01:17:35,129 --> 01:17:39,254
The money part, it's at least honest.
969
01:17:41,879 --> 01:17:42,879
Hi, this is Nina.
970
01:17:43,171 --> 01:17:44,171
At the sound of the tone,
971
01:17:44,212 --> 01:17:45,652
the voice you hear will be your own.
972
01:17:46,712 --> 01:17:48,171
Hey, Nina, you there?
973
01:17:48,754 --> 01:17:50,879
Hey, it's, uh, me, Douglas.
974
01:17:52,254 --> 01:17:53,254
You gonna answer?
975
01:17:54,212 --> 01:17:56,046
Listen, uh, sorry about the switch,
976
01:17:56,379 --> 01:17:59,587
but, um, something came up and, uh,
977
01:17:59,879 --> 01:18:01,272
actually I was just kind of calling to see
978
01:18:01,296 --> 01:18:02,629
if Fitch made it by there.
979
01:18:02,921 --> 01:18:03,938
Look, I know you'll really like him.
980
01:18:03,962 --> 01:18:06,004
He's a really decent
guy and, uh,
981
01:18:06,587 --> 01:18:08,667
I don't know, maybe he's
already been there and left.
982
01:18:09,129 --> 01:18:12,171
So, uh, anyway, I will see
you same time next week.
983
01:18:12,462 --> 01:18:14,171
Okay, same place. All right.
984
01:18:14,629 --> 01:18:16,171
Ciao, Bella. Bye-bye.
985
01:18:17,254 --> 01:18:18,837
Thanks, can you stow that for me?
986
01:18:20,879 --> 01:18:21,879
Are you mad?
987
01:18:23,337 --> 01:18:24,337
Don't be upset.
988
01:18:25,421 --> 01:18:27,046
You're tense. Don't be tense.
989
01:18:34,004 --> 01:18:36,087
Well, I can't say this is
the most relaxing massage
990
01:18:36,421 --> 01:18:37,421
I've ever had.
991
01:18:38,171 --> 01:18:39,171
But is the best.
992
01:18:45,462 --> 01:18:47,296
I wasn't being totally honest.
993
01:18:47,754 --> 01:18:48,754
About what?
994
01:18:50,212 --> 01:18:52,587
Men. Men and me.
995
01:18:55,046 --> 01:18:56,566
As much as I choose not to believe it,
996
01:18:56,837 --> 01:18:59,421
the truth is I've been
involved with a lot of them.
997
01:19:00,087 --> 01:19:02,587
Always more of the same, sorry to say.
998
01:19:06,087 --> 01:19:08,462
At the middle of last year,
999
01:19:10,087 --> 01:19:12,171
this man suddenly came into my life.
1000
01:19:12,837 --> 01:19:15,629
Or I guess if I was being
totally honest with myself,
1001
01:19:16,671 --> 01:19:18,296
I came into his.
1002
01:19:21,754 --> 01:19:22,754
An artist.
1003
01:19:23,796 --> 01:19:24,796
You have to understand,
1004
01:19:25,129 --> 01:19:27,837
in my world so much is done for effect.
1005
01:19:29,046 --> 01:19:31,379
And here was someone who
did nothing for effect.
1006
01:19:32,629 --> 01:19:35,337
He was who he was. No apologies.
1007
01:19:36,546 --> 01:19:37,546
He treated me well.
1008
01:19:38,671 --> 01:19:40,421
Very well. Better than I treated him.
1009
01:19:42,712 --> 01:19:45,087
And all he expected in return
1010
01:19:45,504 --> 01:19:46,587
was for me to be me.
1011
01:19:48,212 --> 01:19:49,212
Even now?
1012
01:19:53,212 --> 01:19:54,212
Especially now.
1013
01:19:56,254 --> 01:19:58,587
In some strange way, you're pretending.
1014
01:19:59,004 --> 01:20:01,171
Liking my work, being involved with me
1015
01:20:01,504 --> 01:20:03,962
and wanting to go to bed with
me right now, at everything.
1016
01:20:04,296 --> 01:20:05,296
No.
1017
01:20:05,546 --> 01:20:08,754
But you couldn't give yourself up.
1018
01:20:40,796 --> 01:20:42,046
It's been a long time.
1019
01:20:43,712 --> 01:20:47,129
Long time since my various
husbands blew through my life.
1020
01:20:48,837 --> 01:20:52,462
But still, too much stuff.
1021
01:20:54,837 --> 01:20:57,212
You don't wanna admit how
much people affect you,
1022
01:20:57,587 --> 01:20:58,587
but they do.
1023
01:21:02,171 --> 01:21:04,254
Maybe you should. Maybe that's the key.
1024
01:21:07,837 --> 01:21:10,712
Admitting just how much
they are with you still.
1025
01:21:13,504 --> 01:21:15,879
We are alike, aren't we, Fitch?
1026
01:21:47,879 --> 01:21:51,004
I saw them go out of control
around the blind corner.
1027
01:21:55,004 --> 01:21:56,004
Oh, Lordy.
1028
01:21:57,421 --> 01:21:58,796
There's a woman in there.
1029
01:21:59,504 --> 01:22:00,921
Miss? Miss?
1030
01:22:01,379 --> 01:22:02,379
Miss, you okay?
1031
01:22:02,504 --> 01:22:03,671
Miss? Miss?
1032
01:22:04,337 --> 01:22:05,337
Shit...
1033
01:22:10,504 --> 01:22:12,254
Uh, Roger, we're
about, uh, two miles south
1034
01:22:12,546 --> 01:22:14,254
of Culver Ranch here on Route 4.
1035
01:22:14,587 --> 01:22:15,688
Uh, we're gonna be
heading down the highway.
1036
01:22:15,712 --> 01:22:16,879
We got one fatality.
1037
01:22:17,171 --> 01:22:20,504
Female, uh, transporting
to county hospital, over.
1038
01:22:20,796 --> 01:22:23,296
Copy, Route
4, one fatality, female.
1039
01:22:23,671 --> 01:22:25,337
- Close her up.
- Alright, yeah.
1040
01:22:25,921 --> 01:22:28,087
We're gonna need a tow truck down here.
1041
01:22:28,379 --> 01:22:30,059
Probably down there you can miss that turn
1042
01:22:30,379 --> 01:22:32,379
where the lady, she was coming
down here, you know.
1043
01:22:37,337 --> 01:22:39,171
I came to a place not long ago.
1044
01:22:41,087 --> 01:22:42,504
It was a lonely place.
1045
01:22:44,462 --> 01:22:48,921
An empty place with no hope,
and I thought, no way out.
1046
01:22:51,421 --> 01:22:53,712
It's a place I could have
been lost in forever.
1047
01:22:55,879 --> 01:22:57,962
But slowly I began to
understand something.
1048
01:22:59,171 --> 01:23:01,671
That I allowed myself
to stay in that place.
1049
01:23:02,171 --> 01:23:03,962
And it was up to me to get myself out.
1050
01:23:05,046 --> 01:23:08,296
And so I chose hope. I chose belief.
1051
01:24:13,921 --> 01:24:15,962
God has to be all things to all people.
1052
01:24:16,754 --> 01:24:21,587
To be anything less would
be less than perfect. Human.
1053
01:24:26,504 --> 01:24:28,504
What we believe in is
not nearly so important
1054
01:24:28,796 --> 01:24:30,046
as believing in something.
1055
01:24:32,254 --> 01:24:33,374
But you can't wait too long.
1056
01:24:33,587 --> 01:24:35,504
Or you may find yourself
believing in nothing.
1057
01:24:37,754 --> 01:24:40,087
- How do you feel?
- Good.
1058
01:24:41,296 --> 01:24:42,296
Very good.
1059
01:24:47,921 --> 01:24:48,921
Good.
1060
01:25:20,087 --> 01:25:21,671
Was it 100 that I owed you?
1061
01:25:22,087 --> 01:25:23,087
Did I say that?
1062
01:25:23,296 --> 01:25:24,962
Oh, that's what Douglas charges me.
1063
01:25:25,296 --> 01:25:26,462
Well, make it 50 then.
1064
01:25:27,004 --> 01:25:28,921
- Take it.
- Honestly.
1065
01:25:29,296 --> 01:25:31,046
- Take it.
- 75 Then.
1066
01:25:32,337 --> 01:25:35,087
All right, 75 with a $25 tip.
1067
01:25:36,129 --> 01:25:37,929
You do like getting
your own way, don't you?
1068
01:25:40,462 --> 01:25:41,462
What's that?
1069
01:25:41,796 --> 01:25:43,356
It's something we're all looking for.
1070
01:25:43,504 --> 01:25:44,046
And that would be?
1071
01:25:44,337 --> 01:25:45,962
- Information.
- About you?
1072
01:25:46,462 --> 01:25:47,462
About me and you.
1073
01:25:50,254 --> 01:25:54,171
Now I want you to think
about not dropping it.
1074
01:25:54,504 --> 01:25:56,171
And that's all I want you to think about.
1075
01:25:56,962 --> 01:25:58,171
Not dropping it?
1076
01:25:58,587 --> 01:26:00,837
Concentrate, try hard,
1077
01:26:01,212 --> 01:26:02,921
and by the time I count to 10,
1078
01:26:03,296 --> 01:26:04,462
it'll fall from your hand
1079
01:26:04,796 --> 01:26:06,556
and you'll have no power
over controlling it.
1080
01:26:06,837 --> 01:26:10,337
One, two, three, four, five.
1081
01:26:14,796 --> 01:26:15,796
Keep it.
1082
01:26:16,712 --> 01:26:18,087
Where did you learn that?
1083
01:26:18,421 --> 01:26:20,462
Saw it in a movie
once. I gotta be going.
1084
01:26:21,421 --> 01:26:23,129
I'd like you to come back next week.
1085
01:26:24,171 --> 01:26:26,379
- I'm flattered.
- I'm serious.
1086
01:26:26,879 --> 01:26:28,796
- Same day?
- What about Doug?
1087
01:26:29,462 --> 01:26:30,462
What about him?
1088
01:26:30,629 --> 01:26:32,269
Well, I don't like taking his gig away.
1089
01:26:33,004 --> 01:26:35,837
- Douglas is young.
- So?
1090
01:26:36,796 --> 01:26:39,004
So he'll find someone
to replace me with.
1091
01:26:39,587 --> 01:26:42,046
Women like him. That's what you said.
1092
01:26:42,504 --> 01:26:44,584
Well, it's not as though
I don't want to come back.
1093
01:26:44,629 --> 01:26:45,629
Do you?
1094
01:26:47,796 --> 01:26:50,296
- Yes.
- Then I'll talk to him.
1095
01:26:51,087 --> 01:26:52,296
I'll explain the situation.
1096
01:26:52,587 --> 01:26:54,627
If it's that big a problem,
I'll have you both come.
1097
01:26:54,671 --> 01:26:56,504
Just not at the same time.
1098
01:26:59,087 --> 01:27:00,129
Been nice meeting you.
1099
01:27:00,921 --> 01:27:02,212
I hope I wasn't too, um
1100
01:27:02,546 --> 01:27:04,796
- What?
- Confrontational.
1101
01:27:08,296 --> 01:27:09,296
Of course you were.
1102
01:27:10,712 --> 01:27:11,712
I've gotta be off.
1103
01:28:46,837 --> 01:28:49,129
- Is it on?
- It's on.
1104
01:28:49,962 --> 01:28:51,462
Okay, don't look.
79406
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