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1
00:02:47,300 --> 00:02:48,535
What's up?
2
00:02:49,435 --> 00:02:51,104
Animal Planet.
3
00:02:51,505 --> 00:02:53,774
Man, I just had the craziest dream.
4
00:02:53,974 --> 00:02:55,943
-About what?
-I don't remember.
5
00:02:56,143 --> 00:02:58,212
Yeah. Yeah.
6
00:03:00,314 --> 00:03:01,382
Morning, guys.
7
00:03:01,583 --> 00:03:03,217
Morning, Gene.
8
00:03:07,122 --> 00:03:08,590
What did we do last night?
9
00:03:08,823 --> 00:03:10,225
I don't know.
10
00:03:11,026 --> 00:03:13,730
Wait. Didn't the twins have a party?
11
00:03:13,962 --> 00:03:15,999
Yeah, that's it. Twins had a party.
12
00:03:16,199 --> 00:03:18,068
-Right.
-Right.
13
00:03:18,735 --> 00:03:20,470
Were we there?
14
00:03:21,338 --> 00:03:23,006
I'm assuming we were.
15
00:03:23,207 --> 00:03:25,843
What kind of boyfriends
would we be if we weren't?
16
00:03:26,710 --> 00:03:28,246
Did I get any messages?
17
00:03:28,913 --> 00:03:30,014
Nope.
18
00:03:32,584 --> 00:03:33,952
See you tomorrow, Gene.
19
00:03:34,319 --> 00:03:35,888
Shibby.
20
00:03:38,324 --> 00:03:40,226
How do you know Gene?
21
00:03:41,260 --> 00:03:43,496
Oh, I thought he was your friend.
22
00:03:43,696 --> 00:03:45,866
No, no, I don't know him.
23
00:03:49,569 --> 00:03:51,305
I'm starving.
24
00:03:56,811 --> 00:03:59,948
-It's pudding.
-I always wondered what a fridge...
25
00:04:00,148 --> 00:04:02,417
...full of pudding would look like.
26
00:04:03,018 --> 00:04:06,222
Is it possible that we got
so wasted last night...
27
00:04:06,422 --> 00:04:10,126
...we bought a lifetime supply
of pudding and then forgot about it?
28
00:04:13,696 --> 00:04:15,465
I'd say it's entirely possible.
29
00:04:18,335 --> 00:04:20,538
-Jesse.
-And Chester are shibby right now.
30
00:04:20,738 --> 00:04:24,075
Please leave your shibby at the beep.
Shibby.
31
00:04:24,509 --> 00:04:26,310
What happened last night?
32
00:04:26,511 --> 00:04:30,181
You show up with a bunch of people,
pizzas and a keg. Our house is trashed.
33
00:04:30,382 --> 00:04:33,218
You're sucky boyfriends.
Always disappointing us.
34
00:04:33,419 --> 00:04:36,255
Now you're probably on the couch
in your underwear.
35
00:04:36,456 --> 00:04:37,623
Playing thumb wars.
36
00:04:37,824 --> 00:04:39,358
Wearing those Army helmets.
37
00:04:39,558 --> 00:04:42,762
And if you are, you've probably
forgotten our anniversary.
38
00:04:42,963 --> 00:04:44,264
Which is today.
39
00:04:44,465 --> 00:04:47,335
You don't get the special treats
we had for you.
40
00:04:47,535 --> 00:04:50,505
Just wanted to thank you guys
for trashing our house.
41
00:04:50,705 --> 00:04:51,939
Bye!
42
00:04:52,373 --> 00:04:53,575
Twins sound pissed.
43
00:04:54,242 --> 00:04:57,145
-Good thing we already got them gifts.
-Yeah.
44
00:04:57,879 --> 00:05:01,016
So where are the gifts?
45
00:05:02,451 --> 00:05:05,121
-They must be in your car.
-They're in the car.
46
00:05:05,321 --> 00:05:08,258
So we'll just take the gifts
to the twins' house...
47
00:05:08,492 --> 00:05:09,826
...get our special treats.
48
00:05:10,026 --> 00:05:12,796
Hey, what do you think they mean
by special treats?
49
00:05:12,996 --> 00:05:15,466
We've been going out with them
for a year now.
50
00:05:15,700 --> 00:05:17,401
And we still haven't had sex.
51
00:05:17,902 --> 00:05:21,706
"Special treats" is code for sex.
52
00:05:21,940 --> 00:05:23,541
Of course.
53
00:05:23,741 --> 00:05:26,078
-Special treats!
-Sex.
54
00:05:26,278 --> 00:05:27,680
Open up, you slackers!
55
00:05:28,080 --> 00:05:29,281
Mr. Pizzacoli!
56
00:05:29,481 --> 00:05:30,950
You left work last night...
57
00:05:31,217 --> 00:05:33,319
...with 30 pizzas
that didn't get delivered!
58
00:05:33,519 --> 00:05:34,988
I want some answers!
59
00:05:35,221 --> 00:05:37,824
Open up this damn door!
60
00:05:38,025 --> 00:05:39,059
It's open.
61
00:05:42,429 --> 00:05:44,231
-Moron!
-What? I'm sorry.
62
00:05:54,876 --> 00:05:55,911
Mr. Pizzacoli.
63
00:05:56,111 --> 00:05:59,082
-Hi, how you doing?
-30 pizzas didn't get delivered!
64
00:05:59,548 --> 00:06:02,919
If I found out you was taking
my pizza home to eat yourselves...
65
00:06:03,119 --> 00:06:05,222
...I will crush you like a doodlebug!
66
00:06:05,422 --> 00:06:07,124
-Look, it's an elephant!
-What?
67
00:06:09,793 --> 00:06:13,964
-Guess it was just a mailman.
-You two are the most irresponsible...
68
00:06:14,165 --> 00:06:16,968
...and disappointing employees
ever to work...
69
00:06:17,168 --> 00:06:19,738
...at Mr. Pizzacoli's
Pronto Pizza Delivery!
70
00:06:19,938 --> 00:06:22,574
A trained dolphin could do
a better job than you!
71
00:06:23,141 --> 00:06:25,911
Well, sure, but then the pizzas
would get all wet.
72
00:06:26,211 --> 00:06:27,580
Look, a unicorn!
73
00:06:30,383 --> 00:06:31,418
A unicorn?
74
00:06:31,651 --> 00:06:34,988
Sorry, I guess it was just
a regular horse. Weird!
75
00:06:35,189 --> 00:06:37,124
You've been embezzling my pizza.
76
00:06:37,324 --> 00:06:39,694
And I will catch you eventually.
77
00:06:39,894 --> 00:06:43,565
And when I do, I swear to God,
you will never deliver pizzas...
78
00:06:43,765 --> 00:06:45,133
...in this town again!
79
00:06:49,037 --> 00:06:50,673
-Close one.
-Yeah.
80
00:06:53,809 --> 00:06:55,545
We'll go to the twins' house.
81
00:06:55,745 --> 00:06:59,282
We'll give them their gifts
and apologize for trashing the house.
82
00:06:59,483 --> 00:07:01,885
And then we get our special treats.
83
00:07:04,554 --> 00:07:05,923
Dude, where's my car?
84
00:07:06,123 --> 00:07:07,492
Where's your car, dude?
85
00:07:09,527 --> 00:07:10,895
Dude, where's my car?
86
00:07:12,797 --> 00:07:14,132
Where's your car, dude?
87
00:07:14,633 --> 00:07:16,302
Dude, where's my car?
88
00:07:16,669 --> 00:07:18,037
Where's your car, dude?
89
00:07:18,637 --> 00:07:20,873
-Did I drive last night?
-Yeah, I think so.
90
00:07:21,073 --> 00:07:24,010
-Really?
-I'm not sure.
91
00:07:25,879 --> 00:07:29,282
-Dude, where's your car?
-Dude, it's not funny. It's gone.
92
00:07:29,817 --> 00:07:31,986
-Yeah.
-Dude, where's my car?
93
00:07:35,389 --> 00:07:36,590
Shut up, dude!
94
00:07:36,791 --> 00:07:38,459
Okay. Okay, look.
95
00:07:38,659 --> 00:07:41,062
You're right.
What we need to do is...
96
00:07:41,263 --> 00:07:43,932
...get into the state of mind
we were in last night.
97
00:07:44,133 --> 00:07:46,135
That way, we can retrace our steps.
98
00:07:46,668 --> 00:07:49,438
-Yeah.
-Sense Memory Simulated Perception...
99
00:07:49,638 --> 00:07:52,142
...Altered Consciousness
Memory Retrieval.
100
00:07:53,976 --> 00:07:55,312
Discovery Channel.
101
00:07:55,512 --> 00:07:56,980
Nice.
102
00:07:57,214 --> 00:07:59,316
-Nelson's?
-Shibby.
103
00:08:06,157 --> 00:08:08,160
-I'm sick of walking, dude.
-Me too.
104
00:08:10,095 --> 00:08:12,998
Hey, it's Mrs. Crabbleman.
She'll give us a ride.
105
00:08:13,198 --> 00:08:14,600
Hey, Mrs. Crabbleman!
106
00:08:15,067 --> 00:08:17,170
Hey! Hey!
107
00:08:19,072 --> 00:08:21,174
Mrs. Crabbleman.
108
00:08:27,581 --> 00:08:29,550
Fucking stoners.
109
00:08:31,519 --> 00:08:33,454
She must not have recognized you.
110
00:08:33,655 --> 00:08:35,357
-It's the Binglemans.
-Oh, hey.
111
00:08:35,557 --> 00:08:37,125
Mr. Bingleman!
112
00:08:38,828 --> 00:08:40,229
Hey, Mr. Bingleman.
113
00:08:44,067 --> 00:08:46,803
-Maybe we should just walk.
-Yeah.
114
00:08:47,003 --> 00:08:48,872
Listen, Nelson, the car is gone...
115
00:08:49,138 --> 00:08:51,608
...and we need to do
this sense memory thing...
116
00:08:51,808 --> 00:08:55,146
...so we can get back in the state
of mind we were in last night.
117
00:08:55,746 --> 00:08:59,084
Deep in your consciousness,
you must look.
118
00:08:59,417 --> 00:09:03,622
Concentrate on the knowledge inside,
you must.
119
00:09:05,290 --> 00:09:07,459
Your eyes, you must close.
120
00:09:07,660 --> 00:09:09,728
And you take it to the mo.
121
00:09:19,606 --> 00:09:20,908
Whoops.
122
00:09:29,284 --> 00:09:30,852
Concentrating, you're not.
123
00:09:31,653 --> 00:09:32,921
Sorry.
124
00:09:33,121 --> 00:09:35,758
-Is your dog dead?
-He's not dead.
125
00:09:35,958 --> 00:09:38,294
Come here, Jackal. Come here, boy.
126
00:09:38,494 --> 00:09:41,030
-I don't think he's coming.
-Maybe he's deaf.
127
00:09:41,230 --> 00:09:42,498
Deaf, he is not, dude.
128
00:09:42,799 --> 00:09:43,767
Come here, Jackal.
129
00:09:44,034 --> 00:09:46,537
-Come here, Jackal.
-Does he know any other tricks...
130
00:09:46,770 --> 00:09:48,372
...besides not moving?
131
00:09:49,039 --> 00:09:51,608
All right, you want
to see a trick, man?
132
00:09:51,809 --> 00:09:52,877
Hey, Jackal.
133
00:09:58,850 --> 00:10:00,218
Bite down, killer.
134
00:10:00,419 --> 00:10:02,588
Here comes the fun. All right.
135
00:10:06,725 --> 00:10:08,194
Good boy, Jackal.
136
00:10:08,394 --> 00:10:10,163
Good boy.
137
00:10:10,864 --> 00:10:13,667
Breathe deep. There you go.
138
00:10:13,867 --> 00:10:17,238
-Dude, your dog's a stoner.
-Can he also bong a beer?
139
00:10:17,438 --> 00:10:20,074
Nah, pretty much all he does is...
140
00:10:20,274 --> 00:10:21,910
...lie around and smoke his pipe.
141
00:10:22,110 --> 00:10:23,745
Jackal, can I see your pipe?
142
00:10:24,412 --> 00:10:28,550
Oh, no, don't!
Very protective, he is of his pipe.
143
00:10:28,751 --> 00:10:32,321
When other people touch it,
he does not like.
144
00:10:32,521 --> 00:10:33,722
Sorry, Jackal.
145
00:10:34,724 --> 00:10:36,659
Yeah, see? He's sorry.
146
00:10:37,060 --> 00:10:38,495
Holy crap.
147
00:10:38,695 --> 00:10:42,166
-That's one psycho dog, dude.
-You know what we should do now?
148
00:10:42,399 --> 00:10:45,236
-Eat?
-No. Eat.
149
00:10:46,738 --> 00:10:50,208
Choice excellent, my friend.
I'll get the keys.
150
00:11:09,463 --> 00:11:10,931
Hey, Nelson. Let me order.
151
00:11:11,498 --> 00:11:13,901
"Chinese Foooood. " May I help you?
152
00:11:14,102 --> 00:11:16,571
-I'd like to place an order.
-What you like?
153
00:11:16,771 --> 00:11:19,341
Yeah, I'd like three orders
of garlic chicken.
154
00:11:19,541 --> 00:11:22,243
-And then?
-And then three orders of white rice.
155
00:11:22,444 --> 00:11:26,081
-And then?
-And then....
156
00:11:26,282 --> 00:11:28,151
-Hey, you guys want soup?
-Sure.
157
00:11:28,351 --> 00:11:31,454
-Yeah. Three orders of won ton soup.
-And then?
158
00:11:31,754 --> 00:11:34,925
-Oh, some fortune cookies too.
-And then?
159
00:11:36,560 --> 00:11:37,594
That's about it.
160
00:11:37,795 --> 00:11:38,962
And then?
161
00:11:41,199 --> 00:11:42,667
No, that's it.
162
00:11:42,867 --> 00:11:44,469
-And then?
-No "and then."
163
00:11:44,669 --> 00:11:46,738
I-- That's all I want.
164
00:11:46,938 --> 00:11:48,073
And then?
165
00:11:50,476 --> 00:11:54,980
And then-- And then nothing else,
because I'm done ordering. Okay?
166
00:11:55,181 --> 00:11:56,649
And then?
167
00:11:59,152 --> 00:12:02,923
See, all I want is the three orders
of the garlic chicken...
168
00:12:03,123 --> 00:12:04,191
...and the white rice.
169
00:12:04,558 --> 00:12:05,626
And then?
170
00:12:05,826 --> 00:12:08,696
-And the soup, dude.
-Oh, and the won ton soup.
171
00:12:08,963 --> 00:12:11,365
-And then?
-And the cookies, fortune.
172
00:12:11,565 --> 00:12:12,967
And the fortune cookies.
173
00:12:13,167 --> 00:12:16,504
So it's just the chicken, the rice...
174
00:12:16,705 --> 00:12:19,542
...the soup and the fortune cookies,
and that's it.
175
00:12:20,175 --> 00:12:21,844
And then?
176
00:12:25,482 --> 00:12:27,951
And then you can put it
in a brown paper bag...
177
00:12:28,151 --> 00:12:31,021
...and put it in my hand,
because I'm ready to eat.
178
00:12:31,555 --> 00:12:33,157
And then?
179
00:12:33,657 --> 00:12:36,560
I refuse to play
your Chinese food mind games.
180
00:12:36,760 --> 00:12:39,464
-And then?
-No! No "and then"!
181
00:12:39,664 --> 00:12:42,000
-And then?
-No "and then"!
182
00:12:42,200 --> 00:12:44,169
-And then?
-No "and then"!
183
00:12:44,369 --> 00:12:45,938
-And then?
-No! No "and then"!
184
00:12:46,138 --> 00:12:49,708
-And then?
-You're starting to piss me off, lady.
185
00:12:49,908 --> 00:12:52,245
-And then?
-And then...
186
00:12:52,445 --> 00:12:56,216
...I'm gonna come in there
and put my foot in your ass...
187
00:12:56,416 --> 00:12:59,086
...if you say "and then" again!
188
00:13:04,625 --> 00:13:07,395
And then and then
and then and then and then....
189
00:13:14,069 --> 00:13:16,439
And then?
190
00:13:16,639 --> 00:13:19,475
Come on, Nelson,
just help us find my car.
191
00:13:19,675 --> 00:13:22,913
You didn't have to go all "egg roll"
on that speaker box.
192
00:13:23,113 --> 00:13:25,782
I'm not the one that called
the Dalai Lama a fag.
193
00:13:25,982 --> 00:13:30,087
-I was just kidding around.
-Well, Nelson didn't appreciate it.
194
00:13:30,488 --> 00:13:33,724
Look, it's Christie Boner.
195
00:13:38,363 --> 00:13:41,700
Wow! The hottest of the hot.
196
00:13:41,900 --> 00:13:45,504
El fuego of all that is el fuego.
197
00:13:49,642 --> 00:13:53,213
-Did she just wave at us?
-No way. She would never wave at us.
198
00:13:53,413 --> 00:13:55,282
Then why did she just wave at us?
199
00:13:55,482 --> 00:13:58,252
I don't know. Maybe she thinks
we're other people.
200
00:13:58,452 --> 00:13:59,620
People she waves to.
201
00:14:05,126 --> 00:14:06,695
Hi, Chester.
202
00:14:07,396 --> 00:14:08,464
Hi.
203
00:14:08,831 --> 00:14:12,435
Hi, Jesse. I had a really
good time with you last night.
204
00:14:15,672 --> 00:14:17,807
-Me too.
-That was some crazy party.
205
00:14:18,508 --> 00:14:21,612
-Hey, have you seen my car?
-Well, I saw it last night.
206
00:14:23,247 --> 00:14:25,082
I mean, I saw the back seat.
207
00:14:25,850 --> 00:14:29,253
-I mean the whole thing.
-Get another one with all the money...
208
00:14:29,453 --> 00:14:31,723
-...you were throwing around.
-Money?
209
00:14:31,923 --> 00:14:35,193
Yeah. You had that really nice
suitcase full of money.
210
00:14:36,629 --> 00:14:40,600
-A suitcase full of money?
-Don't you remember giving me $500...
211
00:14:40,833 --> 00:14:43,002
...to show you my hoo-hoos?
212
00:14:43,870 --> 00:14:46,539
-$500?
-Hoo-hoos?
213
00:14:46,739 --> 00:14:49,476
You mean, you don't remember anything?
214
00:15:00,288 --> 00:15:01,456
How about now?
215
00:15:02,791 --> 00:15:03,926
No.
216
00:15:04,526 --> 00:15:06,562
How about now?
217
00:15:11,935 --> 00:15:13,403
I'm a little bit fuzzy too.
218
00:15:13,636 --> 00:15:16,774
Maybe if I could get
a little refresher course.
219
00:15:21,345 --> 00:15:22,947
-All right.
-Go.
220
00:15:24,015 --> 00:15:26,317
-Are these losers bothering you?
-No, Tommy.
221
00:15:26,518 --> 00:15:29,488
Guys like you could never score
with a chick like this.
222
00:15:29,688 --> 00:15:32,391
-Stick to your own kind.
-Don't be such a jerk.
223
00:15:32,591 --> 00:15:34,894
Next time you guys
bother my girlfriend...
224
00:15:35,094 --> 00:15:38,198
-...stoner-bashing time.
-Oh, yeah?
225
00:15:38,431 --> 00:15:39,632
Yeah.
226
00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:42,802
-Okay.
-Consider this your warning.
227
00:15:45,873 --> 00:15:47,341
Later, dudes!
228
00:15:50,912 --> 00:15:53,381
Dude, you touched
Christie Boner's hoo-hoo.
229
00:15:53,581 --> 00:15:54,783
Shibby!
230
00:15:54,983 --> 00:15:56,351
Low-five.
231
00:15:57,386 --> 00:15:59,588
-Yeah.
-Let's get out of here.
232
00:16:01,590 --> 00:16:02,558
Chester!
233
00:16:02,892 --> 00:16:05,695
Dude, that Christie Boner
is super hot.
234
00:16:05,896 --> 00:16:08,231
Where did we get a suitcase
full of money?
235
00:16:08,431 --> 00:16:09,800
Why don't we have it now?
236
00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:12,870
Maybe we deposited it
in a Swiss bank account.
237
00:16:14,572 --> 00:16:18,009
Now, if we had a ridiculous
sum of money, where would we go?
238
00:16:18,776 --> 00:16:20,011
Dude.
239
00:16:27,085 --> 00:16:28,353
Sweet!
240
00:16:31,457 --> 00:16:33,626
No way we were here last night.
241
00:16:35,295 --> 00:16:37,798
We'd never fit in
at a place like this.
242
00:16:38,031 --> 00:16:41,501
Look everyone!
It's Mr. Jesse and Mr. Chester!
243
00:16:52,248 --> 00:16:55,484
Look at the toggles on that kitten.
244
00:16:59,388 --> 00:17:02,726
Good afternoon, Jesse, Chester.
How are we feeling today?
245
00:17:03,493 --> 00:17:05,062
A little fuzzy.
246
00:17:06,096 --> 00:17:09,867
Hi, Chester. Hi, Jesse.
247
00:17:10,067 --> 00:17:12,336
Did you guys enjoy
yourselves last night?
248
00:17:14,705 --> 00:17:16,808
-Have we met?
-It's me, Tania.
249
00:17:17,008 --> 00:17:18,911
Remember last night
when I gave you...
250
00:17:19,111 --> 00:17:22,848
...that super-special,
slippery-wet lap dance?
251
00:17:26,753 --> 00:17:29,322
Of course. How can I forget?
252
00:17:29,956 --> 00:17:32,059
You want to do it again?
253
00:17:32,292 --> 00:17:35,496
This time, it's on me.
254
00:17:43,739 --> 00:17:45,808
If you say so.
255
00:17:54,484 --> 00:17:56,386
Didn't I get a special lap dance?
256
00:17:56,787 --> 00:17:58,488
Did you ever.
257
00:18:10,402 --> 00:18:11,870
Sweet!
258
00:18:12,237 --> 00:18:13,772
Sweet!
259
00:18:14,473 --> 00:18:15,907
So...
260
00:18:16,108 --> 00:18:20,179
...just how super-special
can a slippery lap dance be?
261
00:18:20,613 --> 00:18:24,884
What the hell were you thinking,
throwing around my money like that?
262
00:18:25,084 --> 00:18:28,655
-You're a....
-I'm a gender-challenged male.
263
00:18:29,089 --> 00:18:30,658
What does that mean?
264
00:18:32,493 --> 00:18:34,629
Oh, dude, you're a dude! That's--
265
00:18:35,963 --> 00:18:37,132
You....
266
00:18:47,143 --> 00:18:50,780
Last night, I had you sneak a suitcase
of stolen money out of here.
267
00:18:50,980 --> 00:18:53,650
-Stolen money?
-$200,000.
268
00:18:53,950 --> 00:18:55,252
$200,000!
269
00:18:55,452 --> 00:18:58,656
I gave you the case and left.
We were supposed to meet.
270
00:18:58,856 --> 00:19:01,926
But you never showed up!
Where's that suitcase?
271
00:19:02,259 --> 00:19:03,928
-I don't know.
-You don't know?
272
00:19:14,874 --> 00:19:17,577
-Where's that suitcase?
-It's in my car.
273
00:19:17,777 --> 00:19:21,314
Then get it. Fast.
Or else you'll be singing soprano.
274
00:19:33,261 --> 00:19:36,298
Dude. Dude, dude!
275
00:19:36,765 --> 00:19:38,233
-We gotta go.
-Are you crazy?
276
00:19:38,467 --> 00:19:40,369
I'm with breakdancing strippers.
277
00:19:40,570 --> 00:19:42,805
Seriously, dude, this is an emergency.
278
00:19:43,005 --> 00:19:44,207
So is this, dude.
279
00:19:44,407 --> 00:19:47,110
It's a breakdancing
stripper emergency.
280
00:19:48,078 --> 00:19:50,480
-Goodbye!
-Bye, Chester!
281
00:19:50,680 --> 00:19:52,182
I love you!
282
00:19:53,550 --> 00:19:57,421
We were supposed to meet her with
the suitcase, but we didn't show up.
283
00:19:57,822 --> 00:20:00,792
Sounds like us.
How wasted were we last night?
284
00:20:00,992 --> 00:20:04,296
I touched Christie's hoo-hoo,
we're on the hook for $200,000...
285
00:20:04,497 --> 00:20:07,667
...that belongs to a transsexual
stripper, and my car's gone.
286
00:20:08,100 --> 00:20:12,071
-I'd say we were pretty wasted.
-We really need to find your car.
287
00:20:12,305 --> 00:20:16,209
Okay, let's see. The last place
we remember being last night was....
288
00:20:16,409 --> 00:20:20,514
The twins'. But we can't show up
without the anniversary gifts.
289
00:20:20,715 --> 00:20:23,684
I got it! We'll get them
a little something for now.
290
00:20:23,885 --> 00:20:28,223
When we find the car, we'll give them
the real gifts. That's a dollar...
291
00:20:28,590 --> 00:20:29,892
...thirty-nine.
292
00:20:30,092 --> 00:20:32,594
-I don't know.
-Trust me.
293
00:20:32,828 --> 00:20:35,297
-It'll be totally cool. Let's go.
-Okay.
294
00:20:39,869 --> 00:20:41,704
We are so dead.
295
00:20:42,239 --> 00:20:43,941
I roger that.
296
00:21:04,664 --> 00:21:07,900
-We've been cleaning all day.
-What do you guys have to say?
297
00:21:08,101 --> 00:21:10,270
Happy anniversary.
298
00:21:16,210 --> 00:21:19,314
We ate the dark ones.
We know you guys don't like those.
299
00:21:19,680 --> 00:21:21,983
Dark ones are the only ones
we do like.
300
00:21:23,117 --> 00:21:24,553
Oh, yeah.
301
00:21:25,420 --> 00:21:29,424
But you could use the box to keep....
302
00:21:30,626 --> 00:21:32,362
You keep...
303
00:21:33,630 --> 00:21:35,031
...ribbons.
304
00:21:37,033 --> 00:21:39,936
-You guys forgot our anniversary.
-No, of course not.
305
00:21:40,137 --> 00:21:43,574
No, we got you guys great gifts.
We just had some car trouble.
306
00:21:43,808 --> 00:21:45,877
We came over here
as soon as we could...
307
00:21:46,077 --> 00:21:47,979
...to help you guys clean up but....
308
00:21:48,412 --> 00:21:49,380
Oh, no.
309
00:21:50,882 --> 00:21:53,018
It looks like you're already done.
310
00:21:53,218 --> 00:21:55,354
All we have to do is
take out the trash.
311
00:21:55,554 --> 00:21:57,690
Guess they haven't been outside yet.
312
00:21:58,057 --> 00:22:00,226
You know what?
We'll take out the trash.
313
00:22:00,459 --> 00:22:02,428
You guys go and take a nice hot bath.
314
00:22:02,729 --> 00:22:05,498
Yeah. You deserve it
after all this hard work.
315
00:22:05,698 --> 00:22:06,967
Pamper yourselves.
316
00:22:07,200 --> 00:22:09,537
-Just....
-Don't make a mess.
317
00:22:14,308 --> 00:22:16,577
Slow and steady, good buddy.
318
00:22:16,778 --> 00:22:17,946
10-4.
319
00:22:18,413 --> 00:22:19,948
-You're tilting.
-Sorry.
320
00:22:20,182 --> 00:22:22,952
-Why are you tilting?
-You gave me the heavy end.
321
00:22:29,292 --> 00:22:31,494
-Let it go, man.
-No, we can get it.
322
00:22:31,694 --> 00:22:33,997
No. Let it go.
323
00:22:34,331 --> 00:22:36,300
We're not leaving it behind.
324
00:22:37,534 --> 00:22:38,502
Okay.
325
00:22:39,170 --> 00:22:41,405
-I'll take my shoe off.
-Okay.
326
00:22:45,377 --> 00:22:46,811
Watch it. Stop pushing!
327
00:22:47,012 --> 00:22:49,348
Watch it! Careful. Careful.
328
00:22:52,985 --> 00:22:55,889
-Are we cool? Are we cool?
-We're still cool.
329
00:23:04,665 --> 00:23:07,268
Now, take your shoe off,
and you get it.
330
00:23:09,537 --> 00:23:12,907
-Okay.
-Get it. That's it, that's it.
331
00:23:13,508 --> 00:23:14,743
I got it!
332
00:23:16,812 --> 00:23:18,247
Oh, my God!
333
00:23:24,921 --> 00:23:26,623
You can't do anything right.
334
00:23:26,823 --> 00:23:29,025
Why do you have to mess everything up?
335
00:23:42,241 --> 00:23:45,844
-I got three words: anger management.
-Yeah!
336
00:23:46,044 --> 00:23:48,848
Dude, we really need
to find your car.
337
00:23:56,090 --> 00:23:58,726
Sorry about yanking you
off the street like that.
338
00:23:58,926 --> 00:24:01,796
-We really need to talk to you.
-Who are you guys?
339
00:24:01,996 --> 00:24:06,100
My name is Zarnoff. This is Zabu,
Zellner, Zilbor, Zelmina...
340
00:24:06,334 --> 00:24:07,836
-...and Jeff.
-Hey.
341
00:24:10,005 --> 00:24:13,842
More specifically, we are
the recipients of instructions...
342
00:24:14,043 --> 00:24:18,581
...from extraterrestrials regarding
the interstellar path to outer space.
343
00:24:20,550 --> 00:24:21,751
Go ahead and laugh.
344
00:24:21,952 --> 00:24:23,987
We are used to being mocked.
345
00:24:24,621 --> 00:24:26,023
Okay.
346
00:24:26,356 --> 00:24:29,627
We have been sent
by our wise and powerful leader...
347
00:24:29,827 --> 00:24:30,828
...Zoltan...
348
00:24:31,062 --> 00:24:34,666
...to find you and recover
the continuum transfunctioner.
349
00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:37,970
Hey, have you guys
ever been to Uranus?
350
00:24:38,170 --> 00:24:40,739
It's supposed to be
nice this time of year.
351
00:24:40,940 --> 00:24:44,143
This is important. We intercepted
an interstellar message...
352
00:24:44,343 --> 00:24:46,712
...that leads us to believe
that last night...
353
00:24:46,912 --> 00:24:50,250
...you were in possession
of the continuum transfunctioner.
354
00:24:50,451 --> 00:24:51,518
Where is it now?
355
00:24:51,785 --> 00:24:54,288
-The who what?
-The continuum transfunctioner...
356
00:24:54,521 --> 00:24:56,991
...is a very mysterious
and powerful device.
357
00:24:57,191 --> 00:24:59,160
-And?
-And its mystery...
358
00:24:59,594 --> 00:25:01,897
...is exceeded only by its power.
359
00:25:02,130 --> 00:25:04,833
Sorry, we don't remember
a thing about last night.
360
00:25:05,033 --> 00:25:06,301
You must be careful.
361
00:25:06,501 --> 00:25:10,306
Danger follows the continuum
transfunctioner. So says....
362
00:25:10,506 --> 00:25:12,942
-Zoltan.
-Zoltan.
363
00:25:13,709 --> 00:25:15,178
I'll tell you what.
364
00:25:15,378 --> 00:25:19,182
We'll keep our eyes out for the
continual trans-ding-a-ling thing...
365
00:25:19,383 --> 00:25:21,618
...and if we see it,
we'll give you a call.
366
00:25:21,818 --> 00:25:23,054
Yes. You must.
367
00:25:23,254 --> 00:25:25,556
But remember,
you are in great danger.
368
00:25:25,756 --> 00:25:26,991
Trust no one.
369
00:25:27,292 --> 00:25:28,459
Except for us.
370
00:25:28,660 --> 00:25:30,262
Thank you, Jeff. Good point.
371
00:25:30,462 --> 00:25:32,664
Trust no one, except for us.
372
00:25:32,998 --> 00:25:34,366
Zoltan.
373
00:25:41,674 --> 00:25:44,711
Wait a second. Let's recap.
Last night, we lost my car...
374
00:25:44,912 --> 00:25:47,714
...we accepted stolen money
from a transsexual stripper...
375
00:25:47,914 --> 00:25:52,120
...and now some space nerds want us
to find something we can't pronounce.
376
00:25:52,520 --> 00:25:54,889
Maybe we should cut back
on the shibbying.
377
00:25:57,960 --> 00:25:59,661
-Thanks, dude.
-Oh, good!
378
00:25:59,928 --> 00:26:03,165
You're right on time.
You pick up special suits.
379
00:26:03,799 --> 00:26:07,937
Mr. Lee, tailor, make special
suits for you. Come on.
380
00:26:14,578 --> 00:26:18,582
-Dude, you got a tattoo!
-What?
381
00:26:18,816 --> 00:26:21,286
-So did you, dude.
-Naw.
382
00:26:23,021 --> 00:26:25,290
-Dude, what does my tattoo say?
-"Sweet"!
383
00:26:25,490 --> 00:26:27,826
-What about mine?
-"Dude." What does mine say?
384
00:26:28,026 --> 00:26:29,127
"Sweet."
385
00:26:29,328 --> 00:26:30,596
-What about mine?
-"Dude."
386
00:26:30,829 --> 00:26:32,331
-What does mine say?
-"Sweet"!
387
00:26:32,565 --> 00:26:34,534
-What about mine?
-"Dude." And mine?
388
00:26:34,767 --> 00:26:36,536
"Sweet." What about mine?
389
00:26:36,736 --> 00:26:38,204
"Dude." What does mine say?
390
00:26:38,438 --> 00:26:40,307
"Sweet"! What about mine?
391
00:26:40,541 --> 00:26:42,409
"Dude." What does mine say?
392
00:26:42,609 --> 00:26:45,312
"Sweet"! What about mine?
393
00:26:45,713 --> 00:26:48,482
"Dude"! What does mine say?
394
00:26:48,683 --> 00:26:50,284
"Sweet"!
395
00:26:51,552 --> 00:26:53,088
Idiots!
396
00:26:55,291 --> 00:26:58,227
Your tattoo says "dude,"
your tattoo says "sweet."
397
00:26:58,928 --> 00:27:00,196
Got it?
398
00:27:02,799 --> 00:27:04,534
Sorry.
399
00:27:04,734 --> 00:27:06,436
-Hey.
-Hey.
400
00:27:06,903 --> 00:27:08,672
-Sorry.
-Sorry.
401
00:27:15,847 --> 00:27:18,817
-Shibby.
-Very sharp, very sharp.
402
00:27:19,050 --> 00:27:22,020
You two number one, extra-special
good-looking guys.
403
00:27:22,220 --> 00:27:24,690
-We got these last night?
-You were pretty--
404
00:27:26,892 --> 00:27:29,095
-How much are these?
-You already pay for.
405
00:27:29,328 --> 00:27:33,566
I just do some minor alterations.
Add the secret pockets you order.
406
00:27:33,934 --> 00:27:36,403
Maybe we got
the continual trans-sphincter.
407
00:27:36,604 --> 00:27:37,738
What's--?
408
00:27:38,272 --> 00:27:39,706
Oh, dude!
409
00:27:43,778 --> 00:27:45,380
Dude!
410
00:27:53,255 --> 00:27:54,791
Sweet!
411
00:28:11,075 --> 00:28:12,077
Cool!
412
00:28:12,310 --> 00:28:15,447
-How did we pay for these suits?
-Oh, you pay cash.
413
00:28:15,647 --> 00:28:19,418
Cold hard cash,
crispy new hundred-dollar bills.
414
00:28:20,218 --> 00:28:22,722
Hey, did you see
what car we were driving?
415
00:28:23,122 --> 00:28:24,957
Me? No, I don't see no car.
416
00:28:31,765 --> 00:28:33,033
Hello?
417
00:28:34,702 --> 00:28:36,671
Dude, we bought cell phones.
418
00:28:39,240 --> 00:28:41,209
That's not all we bought, dude.
419
00:29:29,063 --> 00:29:30,565
Shibby!
420
00:30:47,651 --> 00:30:52,089
Man, I cannot believe
we leased a car last night. God!
421
00:30:52,289 --> 00:30:54,925
-But who's Johnny Potsmoker?
-That's my alter ego.
422
00:30:55,126 --> 00:30:56,861
I thought that was my alter ego.
423
00:30:57,062 --> 00:30:59,331
No, that's my alter ego.
424
00:30:59,531 --> 00:31:02,468
-Your alter ego is Smokey McPot.
-Oh, yeah.
425
00:31:04,136 --> 00:31:06,105
You're never gonna figure that out.
426
00:31:07,006 --> 00:31:08,107
Okay, dude.
427
00:31:08,308 --> 00:31:10,643
There it is. Break time's over.
428
00:31:11,244 --> 00:31:12,545
Time to find my car.
429
00:31:12,912 --> 00:31:15,015
This is impossible.
430
00:31:15,549 --> 00:31:17,484
Are you Jesse and Chester?
431
00:31:20,488 --> 00:31:22,223
Are you Jesse and Chester?
432
00:31:23,558 --> 00:31:25,393
I don't know. Why?
433
00:31:25,593 --> 00:31:27,562
If you are Jesse and Chester...
434
00:31:27,796 --> 00:31:30,266
...perhaps we will give you
erotic pleasure.
435
00:31:30,733 --> 00:31:32,034
-That's us.
-Right here.
436
00:31:32,234 --> 00:31:35,071
We are looking
for the continuum transfunctioner.
437
00:31:35,271 --> 00:31:39,609
-Who are you guys?
-We are not guys. We are hot chicks.
438
00:31:40,110 --> 00:31:42,312
She's totally right.
439
00:31:42,513 --> 00:31:44,181
The continuum transfunctioner...
440
00:31:44,381 --> 00:31:46,450
...is a very mysterious
and powerful device.
441
00:31:46,951 --> 00:31:48,653
-And?
-And its mystery...
442
00:31:48,853 --> 00:31:50,488
...is only exceeded by its power.
443
00:31:50,788 --> 00:31:52,256
That doesn't really help.
444
00:32:13,047 --> 00:32:17,218
We will give you pleasure now, if you
give us the continuum transfunctioner.
445
00:32:17,451 --> 00:32:21,189
Let me get your proposition straight.
First you give us...
446
00:32:21,423 --> 00:32:24,993
...the pleasure, then we give
you the continuum transfunctioner?
447
00:32:25,194 --> 00:32:28,397
No. First you give us
the continuum transfunctioner...
448
00:32:28,597 --> 00:32:30,833
...then we give you the pleasure.
449
00:32:31,034 --> 00:32:33,036
I've heard that one before.
450
00:32:33,269 --> 00:32:34,905
Okay, look. How about this?
451
00:32:35,105 --> 00:32:37,507
You give me pleasure...
452
00:32:37,707 --> 00:32:40,645
...then we'll give you
the continuum transfunctioner.
453
00:32:40,845 --> 00:32:43,147
-If there's time, you do him.
-Dude--
454
00:32:43,347 --> 00:32:44,782
-Deal.
-Sweet!
455
00:32:44,983 --> 00:32:46,617
-Wait a second.
-Thank you.
456
00:32:46,818 --> 00:32:50,054
Come here. Those space nerds
told us not to trust anybody.
457
00:32:50,255 --> 00:32:54,827
Yeah, but for the love of God,
they're offering us oral pleasure!
458
00:32:55,027 --> 00:32:56,429
What--?
459
00:32:57,296 --> 00:32:59,198
-Okay.
-Okay.
460
00:32:59,399 --> 00:33:01,568
Hey. Where did the hot chicks go?
461
00:33:04,104 --> 00:33:06,206
Where's my money, boys?
462
00:33:06,941 --> 00:33:09,377
We were just going to get it.
463
00:33:10,578 --> 00:33:13,548
You picked the wrong
transsexual stripper to screw with.
464
00:33:13,781 --> 00:33:15,650
You're pinching me.
465
00:33:16,785 --> 00:33:19,955
Well, let's see what the cops
have to say about this.
466
00:33:20,322 --> 00:33:22,625
-You're busted.
-Busted.
467
00:33:22,925 --> 00:33:26,462
-B-U-S-T, busted.
-This one.
468
00:33:27,263 --> 00:33:30,433
-These guys.
-Chester! I saw this on COPS!
469
00:33:30,634 --> 00:33:33,470
-Kick hard and hit back!
-Bye-bye, boys.
470
00:33:34,137 --> 00:33:35,238
Put on the siren.
471
00:33:37,241 --> 00:33:40,011
You're sticking to the
"I don't remember" crap.
472
00:33:40,245 --> 00:33:41,679
Yeah. We don't remember.
473
00:33:41,913 --> 00:33:44,049
Last night, your car
was spotted leaving...
474
00:33:44,249 --> 00:33:47,453
-...the scene of a major drug deal.
-You found my car.
475
00:33:47,686 --> 00:33:51,090
You guys got more important things
to worry about right now.
476
00:33:51,524 --> 00:33:54,661
Where were you between
midnight and 2 a.m. last night?
477
00:33:54,961 --> 00:33:58,799
I told you, okay?
We don't remember anything.
478
00:33:58,999 --> 00:34:01,935
I see we're gonna have to do
this the hard way.
479
00:34:03,704 --> 00:34:07,809
Where were you last night between
the hours of midnight and 2 a.m.?
480
00:34:08,142 --> 00:34:10,044
We don't know.
481
00:34:19,622 --> 00:34:20,689
What the--?
482
00:34:25,462 --> 00:34:27,798
-Now do you remember?
-No.
483
00:34:38,276 --> 00:34:40,612
-How about now?
-No.
484
00:34:50,256 --> 00:34:53,059
Hey, leave him alone!
He doesn't know anything!
485
00:34:53,994 --> 00:34:57,364
-Now are you ready to talk?
-Dude, we don't remember!
486
00:34:57,998 --> 00:35:01,202
Okay, here are the whips
you guys wanted.
487
00:35:03,271 --> 00:35:05,306
Hey, it's the donut guys.
488
00:35:06,408 --> 00:35:09,278
These two were at
the Donut House last night.
489
00:35:09,478 --> 00:35:13,081
We started talking and they bought
donuts for the whole precinct.
490
00:35:13,282 --> 00:35:15,284
What time did all this happen?
491
00:35:15,518 --> 00:35:18,488
Let's see. Must've been
between midnight and 2 a.m.
492
00:35:19,256 --> 00:35:20,490
Damn!
493
00:35:20,858 --> 00:35:24,395
You can't be the guys
we're looking for. Sorry.
494
00:35:31,002 --> 00:35:32,103
Hang in there, bro.
495
00:35:33,271 --> 00:35:35,740
-Come on, Kojak.
-All right.
496
00:35:36,341 --> 00:35:38,344
I'm really sorry about all this.
497
00:35:38,577 --> 00:35:41,214
Looks like it was a case
of mistaken identity.
498
00:35:41,414 --> 00:35:44,384
Actually, those are
the real criminals over there.
499
00:35:45,918 --> 00:35:47,086
One of our officers...
500
00:35:47,287 --> 00:35:51,158
-...made a wrong identification.
-Yeah, that was me.
501
00:35:51,358 --> 00:35:52,960
I'm sorry about that, fellas.
502
00:35:53,160 --> 00:35:55,596
Rick will tell you exactly
where your car is.
503
00:35:57,565 --> 00:35:59,601
-We found the car.
-We found the car.
504
00:35:59,834 --> 00:36:01,570
We found the car!
505
00:36:01,770 --> 00:36:03,872
-Yeah, we found the car.
-Found my car.
506
00:36:04,106 --> 00:36:08,377
Now we get the gifts, go to the twins'
house, and get our special treats.
507
00:36:08,577 --> 00:36:10,012
Sweet!
508
00:36:10,246 --> 00:36:12,916
Give us the keys
and we're out of here.
509
00:36:13,116 --> 00:36:14,584
You got it.
510
00:36:17,187 --> 00:36:19,657
Oh, boy. Oh, boy.
511
00:36:19,857 --> 00:36:21,259
What's the problem, Rick?
512
00:36:21,559 --> 00:36:23,260
Nothing, I just-- Boy.
513
00:36:23,460 --> 00:36:25,129
Okay. Jeez.
514
00:36:26,865 --> 00:36:30,568
Did you say you wanted your car back,
or you wanted it impounded?
515
00:36:31,003 --> 00:36:33,906
We want the car back, please.
516
00:36:34,106 --> 00:36:37,610
Oh, I see. That's kind of funny,
because what happened was...
517
00:36:37,844 --> 00:36:41,748
...I accidentally sent your car
to the impound.
518
00:36:41,948 --> 00:36:43,383
-Rick.
-I know.
519
00:36:43,584 --> 00:36:45,919
I can definitely tell you this.
You guys...
520
00:36:46,119 --> 00:36:48,322
...can get the car back in a few days.
521
00:36:48,522 --> 00:36:51,926
We don't have a few days, Rick.
We need the car back now.
522
00:36:52,927 --> 00:36:57,399
Say, how about a treat?
There's Bavarian cream.
523
00:37:00,135 --> 00:37:02,137
-Yeah.
-That's a good one there.
524
00:37:02,371 --> 00:37:05,174
-It's good.
-It's great. I have a lot of them.
525
00:37:05,374 --> 00:37:07,343
-You know what? Forget about it.
-Okay.
526
00:37:07,577 --> 00:37:09,980
-Psych!
-Oh, jeez. You got me.
527
00:37:10,180 --> 00:37:12,516
Hey, fellows, who's the goose? Me.
528
00:37:13,016 --> 00:37:14,318
You're such a joker.
529
00:37:16,988 --> 00:37:17,955
One.
530
00:37:20,725 --> 00:37:23,495
-Damn!
-Have you seen Jesse and Chester?
531
00:37:23,695 --> 00:37:26,598
-What?
-We're looking for Jesse and Chester.
532
00:37:27,032 --> 00:37:28,768
I don't know where they are...
533
00:37:28,968 --> 00:37:31,170
...but I bet those punks
over there do.
534
00:37:31,971 --> 00:37:35,675
So then, remember?
I said, "Later, dudes."
535
00:37:38,578 --> 00:37:42,016
-Why were you with those jerks anyway?
-They were just being nice...
536
00:37:42,216 --> 00:37:43,684
...unlike someone I know.
537
00:37:43,917 --> 00:37:46,887
Maybe it's time I find someone
with a sensitive side.
538
00:37:47,188 --> 00:37:49,457
Someone who respects me as a person.
539
00:37:49,657 --> 00:37:52,060
Maybe somebody like Jesse or Chester.
540
00:37:55,764 --> 00:37:58,868
Okay, listen up.
We're gonna find Jesse and Chester.
541
00:37:59,068 --> 00:38:02,072
And when we do, stoner-bashing time!
542
00:38:02,305 --> 00:38:05,175
-Do you know Jesse and Chester?
-Who are you?
543
00:38:05,375 --> 00:38:08,579
-We are hot chicks.
-Yes, you are.
544
00:38:08,779 --> 00:38:11,715
We believe they have
the continuum transfunctioner.
545
00:38:12,049 --> 00:38:15,887
However, if you recover the continuum
transfunctioner from them...
546
00:38:16,087 --> 00:38:19,057
...and bring it to us,
we will give you erotic pleasure.
547
00:38:19,290 --> 00:38:21,060
You've got yourselves a deal.
548
00:38:21,460 --> 00:38:23,596
Okay, guys. Okay, guys, new plan.
549
00:38:23,796 --> 00:38:27,667
First, we find those stoners,
get the continuum transfunctioner...
550
00:38:27,867 --> 00:38:30,904
-...then, it's jerk-bashing time.
-Yeah!
551
00:38:31,371 --> 00:38:32,839
Oh, yeah.
552
00:38:33,073 --> 00:38:35,242
I just remembered where
you might be able to find them.
553
00:38:37,311 --> 00:38:38,278
Send those chicks to meet the twins.
554
00:38:38,712 --> 00:38:41,082
That'll put those dudes
in some hot water.
555
00:38:43,818 --> 00:38:46,688
Try it again. Okay?
Just knock it out of the park.
556
00:38:46,888 --> 00:38:48,456
All right, give it a shot.
557
00:38:49,458 --> 00:38:50,893
Okay, you almost got it.
558
00:38:51,093 --> 00:38:54,897
Now just concentrate on the beep,
swing as hard as you can...
559
00:38:55,097 --> 00:38:57,066
...and keep your ear on the ball.
Okay?
560
00:38:57,300 --> 00:38:59,569
All right, little buddy,
you can do it!
561
00:39:04,108 --> 00:39:06,811
I did it! I did it!
I hit it! I did it!
562
00:39:11,182 --> 00:39:14,219
-Do you know Jesse and Chester?
-Pardon me?
563
00:39:14,552 --> 00:39:17,923
-We're looking for Jesse and Chester.
-Who are you?
564
00:39:18,257 --> 00:39:20,626
We're extremely hot chicks
with big breasts.
565
00:39:21,027 --> 00:39:22,395
Really?
566
00:39:23,663 --> 00:39:26,299
Can I touch your face?
It's the only way I can see...
567
00:39:26,499 --> 00:39:29,069
-...who I'm talking to.
-Okay.
568
00:39:30,804 --> 00:39:34,141
Wow! You are hot.
569
00:39:41,649 --> 00:39:43,652
Is this normal?
570
00:39:44,052 --> 00:39:47,189
Oh, yeah. This is how
blind people shake hands.
571
00:39:47,723 --> 00:39:49,525
-Sammy, you're up next.
-Okay--
572
00:39:49,725 --> 00:39:52,061
-Come on.
-What the--? Sis!
573
00:39:52,595 --> 00:39:55,899
Excuse me, a little help.
Wanda. Wilma.
574
00:39:56,099 --> 00:39:58,869
-Anthony?
-Anthony, what is going on?
575
00:39:59,069 --> 00:40:01,773
Nothing. I was just reading.
576
00:40:02,640 --> 00:40:04,609
Bye, ladies, I need to be alone now.
577
00:40:04,809 --> 00:40:08,046
-We're looking for Jesse and Chester.
-Who are you guys?
578
00:40:08,246 --> 00:40:10,515
We are not guys. We are hot chicks.
579
00:40:11,183 --> 00:40:14,052
We're supposed to meet them later,
but we can't wait.
580
00:40:14,620 --> 00:40:17,991
-We don't know where they are.
-And frankly, we don't care.
581
00:40:22,996 --> 00:40:26,400
-Dude, let's call Nelson.
-Yeah. See if he's home.
582
00:40:30,371 --> 00:40:32,273
-Hello?
-Hey, Nelson, it's Chester.
583
00:40:32,573 --> 00:40:34,876
Hey, Chester! No, it's me, Tommy.
584
00:40:35,443 --> 00:40:37,579
Your buddy Nelson is busy
at the moment.
585
00:40:38,147 --> 00:40:40,282
This is bad karma, boys.
586
00:40:41,149 --> 00:40:44,053
Hey, tell me where
that continuum transfunctioner is.
587
00:40:45,287 --> 00:40:46,689
No hablo English.
588
00:40:46,889 --> 00:40:50,160
Your friend's dead meat unless
I get that continuum transfunctioner.
589
00:40:51,628 --> 00:40:53,430
Jackal! Get your pipe!
590
00:40:55,365 --> 00:40:57,568
-My balls!
-What was that?
591
00:40:57,768 --> 00:41:01,873
Tommy's gotten to Nelson! He knows
about the continuum transfunctioner.
592
00:41:02,073 --> 00:41:05,577
Those double-crossing
sexy, sexy sluts!
593
00:41:07,880 --> 00:41:12,485
I am so sick of hearing about
this continuum transfunctioner thing.
594
00:41:12,685 --> 00:41:16,622
-If one more person asks--
-You got the continuum transfunctioner?
595
00:41:16,957 --> 00:41:18,425
Who are you guys?
596
00:41:18,625 --> 00:41:21,862
We are the keepers
of the continuum transfunctioner.
597
00:41:22,462 --> 00:41:25,900
It is all that stands between
the universe and destruction.
598
00:41:26,100 --> 00:41:28,236
It is a mysterious
and powerful device.
599
00:41:28,436 --> 00:41:31,339
And its mystery
is only exceeded by its power.
600
00:41:31,539 --> 00:41:32,975
-We know.
-We don't have it.
601
00:41:33,175 --> 00:41:34,142
But the universe?
602
00:41:34,376 --> 00:41:36,478
Screw the universe.
603
00:41:42,586 --> 00:41:44,354
Screw the universe?
604
00:41:57,368 --> 00:42:00,205
Chimpanzees often use sticks
as crude tools.
605
00:42:00,405 --> 00:42:02,674
That is one smart primate.
606
00:42:06,513 --> 00:42:08,481
-Hey.
-Hey.
607
00:42:08,714 --> 00:42:10,050
What are you doing here?
608
00:42:10,250 --> 00:42:13,620
We just wanted to see
how that car trouble thing was going.
609
00:42:13,921 --> 00:42:17,524
Oh, the car. It's in the shop.
610
00:42:17,758 --> 00:42:18,726
Really?
611
00:42:18,960 --> 00:42:21,830
The shop run by beautiful women
in black jumpsuits?
612
00:42:22,030 --> 00:42:24,165
The ones you were
hanging with earlier?
613
00:42:24,365 --> 00:42:27,736
-Well, you see, Jesse thought--
-Today's our anniversary.
614
00:42:27,936 --> 00:42:30,839
-Not only do you not have gifts.
-But you guys ditch us...
615
00:42:31,040 --> 00:42:32,508
...for some big-breasted bimbos...
616
00:42:32,741 --> 00:42:35,678
-...while we're cleaning our house....
-Which you trashed.
617
00:42:35,878 --> 00:42:37,113
Twice.
618
00:42:37,313 --> 00:42:39,082
-You're sucky boyfriends.
-But--
619
00:42:39,282 --> 00:42:43,320
We just wanted to come
and tell you in person that it's over.
620
00:42:46,023 --> 00:42:48,793
-Wilma?
-Thank you, Wanda.
621
00:42:58,170 --> 00:43:00,105
-They're totally right.
-Yeah.
622
00:43:00,305 --> 00:43:02,442
We are sucky boyfriends.
623
00:43:03,843 --> 00:43:06,846
Do you even remember
what kind of gifts we got them?
624
00:43:07,080 --> 00:43:10,117
-I bet we got them sucky gifts.
-Yeah.
625
00:43:10,717 --> 00:43:12,453
We suck.
626
00:43:19,628 --> 00:43:23,131
Wait, I just got a really bad feeling
in the pit of my stomach.
627
00:43:23,699 --> 00:43:25,568
You should go sit on the toilet.
628
00:43:26,001 --> 00:43:28,671
No, no.
You know what the feeling is?
629
00:43:29,505 --> 00:43:30,840
It's love.
630
00:43:32,876 --> 00:43:34,778
-Is that what that is?
-Yeah.
631
00:43:34,978 --> 00:43:38,115
I'm in love with Wanda.
And you're in love with Wilma.
632
00:43:39,049 --> 00:43:40,618
But see, now that we know...
633
00:43:40,851 --> 00:43:43,788
...that we've been sucky boyfriends,
we can change.
634
00:43:43,988 --> 00:43:46,791
-We can?
-Yeah. And you know what else?
635
00:43:46,991 --> 00:43:50,629
I'll bet you that we did buy them
super-cool anniversary gifts.
636
00:43:50,829 --> 00:43:52,965
You know why? Because we love them.
637
00:43:53,266 --> 00:43:55,134
Are they wrapped in cool paper?
638
00:43:55,401 --> 00:43:57,670
Yeah. I'll tell you what we'll do.
639
00:43:58,037 --> 00:44:01,541
We'll go to the impound lot, get the car,
which has the gifts in it...
640
00:44:01,775 --> 00:44:05,513
...and then go to the twins' house,
and beg for them to take us back!
641
00:44:06,080 --> 00:44:07,982
Yeah! Let's do it.
642
00:44:09,150 --> 00:44:12,186
No, hold on. I gotta take a crap.
643
00:44:12,453 --> 00:44:13,688
-Told you.
-I know.
644
00:44:13,888 --> 00:44:14,856
I know your body.
645
00:44:26,702 --> 00:44:30,607
Boys, I got some good news.
We just got your car in this morning.
646
00:44:31,008 --> 00:44:32,342
All right!
647
00:44:32,542 --> 00:44:34,111
But the bad news is...
648
00:44:34,345 --> 00:44:37,581
...not only did Officer Boyer
send your car to the impound...
649
00:44:37,782 --> 00:44:41,052
...he tagged it for auction
and it was sold this afternoon.
650
00:44:41,419 --> 00:44:42,387
Rick.
651
00:44:43,488 --> 00:44:47,459
-Do you know who bought the car?
-I have the address right here.
652
00:44:47,693 --> 00:44:49,361
All right.
653
00:44:49,562 --> 00:44:51,997
But it'd be against Regulation...
654
00:44:52,198 --> 00:44:55,736
...457XY2-665 to give it to you.
655
00:44:56,002 --> 00:44:57,404
Come on. Just--
656
00:44:59,039 --> 00:45:01,875
Reaching onto this side
of the counter isn't allowed.
657
00:45:02,143 --> 00:45:05,780
The last guy who tried it ended up
with three broken fingers.
658
00:45:09,251 --> 00:45:11,820
-Reach it.
-You can reach it!
659
00:45:12,020 --> 00:45:14,456
No, I got--
One of these has carpal tunnel.
660
00:45:14,656 --> 00:45:17,260
What if I further injure myself?
661
00:45:18,894 --> 00:45:20,196
I have to do everything.
662
00:45:20,396 --> 00:45:23,833
I'm a better lookout.
My vision's better. You know that.
663
00:45:26,436 --> 00:45:27,838
That's it, that's it.
664
00:45:30,207 --> 00:45:32,910
-Got it!
-We're good, we're good.
665
00:45:35,280 --> 00:45:37,249
-What are you doing?
-Dude, I'm stuck!
666
00:45:38,650 --> 00:45:41,387
-Come on. I'm stuck.
-You seriously stuck?
667
00:45:43,689 --> 00:45:44,724
Don't!
668
00:45:46,125 --> 00:45:47,627
Dude, here she comes! Help!
669
00:45:48,495 --> 00:45:50,029
Get it!
670
00:45:57,538 --> 00:45:59,540
Hold on, hold on. I gotta get--
671
00:45:59,774 --> 00:46:01,342
Okay, okay.
672
00:46:03,912 --> 00:46:05,414
-I got it, I got it.
-Help me!
673
00:46:05,647 --> 00:46:08,083
We'll spit on it.
You know, lubrication.
674
00:46:08,284 --> 00:46:10,119
-That's gross, dude!
-Okay, fine.
675
00:46:11,120 --> 00:46:13,455
-Here she comes.
-Spit! Spit!
676
00:46:15,692 --> 00:46:19,396
Good news. I talked to my supervisor
and he said I could give you...
677
00:46:19,596 --> 00:46:22,199
-...the address after all.
-That's great.
678
00:46:23,533 --> 00:46:25,470
But the bad news is...
679
00:46:26,303 --> 00:46:29,307
...I'm gonna have to
confiscate your pinky.
680
00:46:45,358 --> 00:46:48,728
-All right, next stop, find my car.
-Good.
681
00:46:48,928 --> 00:46:52,333
Hey, check it out.
Totally gay Nordic dudes at 3:00.
682
00:46:59,975 --> 00:47:02,777
Wait. I got an idea.
683
00:47:02,978 --> 00:47:05,514
We just ask for
the continuum transfunctioner?
684
00:47:05,748 --> 00:47:08,885
-Yeah. It's that easy.
-Thank you both very much.
685
00:47:09,085 --> 00:47:12,755
-Hey, don't mention it.
-See you around the galaxy, dudes.
686
00:47:16,526 --> 00:47:17,862
Time to get your car.
687
00:47:33,179 --> 00:47:35,248
The creepy space nerds are back, dude.
688
00:47:39,719 --> 00:47:42,089
Dude, do not worry about them.
689
00:47:42,289 --> 00:47:44,558
Yeah, they're totally harmless.
690
00:48:03,813 --> 00:48:06,249
Now may I have
the continuum transfunctioner?
691
00:48:07,284 --> 00:48:08,585
Not quite yet.
692
00:48:08,952 --> 00:48:13,491
Would you consider giving it to me
while I continue to give you pleasure?
693
00:48:14,792 --> 00:48:15,826
Okay.
694
00:48:17,595 --> 00:48:19,864
-Wake up, dude.
-Oral pleasure?
695
00:48:20,298 --> 00:48:21,333
What?
696
00:48:22,934 --> 00:48:24,002
Nothing.
697
00:48:25,571 --> 00:48:27,873
Get dressed.
We're going to the big house.
698
00:48:32,245 --> 00:48:33,380
Nice outfits.
699
00:48:33,580 --> 00:48:36,583
They're not outfits.
They're interstellar jumpsuits.
700
00:48:36,817 --> 00:48:39,987
-Hey. Nice interstellar jumpsuits.
-Yeah.
701
00:48:48,429 --> 00:48:50,398
Wow! Nice place.
702
00:48:50,598 --> 00:48:52,234
Is this where Zoltan--?
703
00:48:52,935 --> 00:48:55,104
-Is this where Zoltan hangs out?
-No.
704
00:48:55,437 --> 00:48:57,239
This is his parents' house.
705
00:48:57,439 --> 00:48:59,008
We're going over there.
706
00:49:00,910 --> 00:49:02,746
-A barn?
-Is it red?
707
00:49:02,946 --> 00:49:05,315
-No.
-Then it's not a barn!
708
00:49:11,855 --> 00:49:15,160
-This is creepy.
-It's like a country music video.
709
00:49:15,627 --> 00:49:19,331
All right, that's far enough.
You, there. You, over there.
710
00:49:19,531 --> 00:49:21,333
No messing around.
711
00:49:22,368 --> 00:49:24,570
Okay, do you remember which one it is?
712
00:49:36,917 --> 00:49:39,253
-Here, let me show you.
-I'll do it.
713
00:49:39,453 --> 00:49:41,322
-It's that one.
-Hey, grab the--
714
00:49:43,825 --> 00:49:45,027
Keys.
715
00:49:47,229 --> 00:49:51,901
Grab the fire extinguisher
and bonk those dudes on the head.
716
00:49:55,105 --> 00:49:56,939
You want the fire extinguisher?
717
00:50:07,685 --> 00:50:10,155
-Enough!
-No, no, it's that one.
718
00:50:10,355 --> 00:50:11,690
Fudge!
719
00:50:28,842 --> 00:50:30,477
Cool.
720
00:50:30,678 --> 00:50:31,645
What, are you deaf?
721
00:50:31,879 --> 00:50:33,781
Hey, you don't have to be mean.
722
00:50:33,981 --> 00:50:35,883
How are we gonna get out of here?
723
00:50:54,238 --> 00:50:57,675
Your attention, please.
Our imperial commander, Zoltan...
724
00:50:57,908 --> 00:51:00,878
...requests your presence
in the officentary rec room...
725
00:51:01,078 --> 00:51:04,115
...for a Level 7 meeting. Over.
726
00:51:25,305 --> 00:51:27,274
It is now my great pleasure...
727
00:51:27,474 --> 00:51:32,413
...to present to you
our wise and powerful leader...
728
00:51:33,248 --> 00:51:35,751
-...Zoltan.
-Zoltan.
729
00:51:35,984 --> 00:51:37,319
Zoltan.
730
00:51:50,367 --> 00:51:52,402
The time has come, you guys.
731
00:51:59,310 --> 00:52:01,579
We are finally going to fulfill...
732
00:52:01,780 --> 00:52:04,516
...our prophecy of outer space travel.
733
00:52:04,716 --> 00:52:05,985
Zoltan.
734
00:52:06,185 --> 00:52:08,821
They laughed at us
when we said aliens existed.
735
00:52:09,021 --> 00:52:11,725
They mocked us when we wore
bubble-wrap jumpsuits.
736
00:52:11,925 --> 00:52:14,327
But who's laughing now, huh?
737
00:52:17,931 --> 00:52:19,934
I'll tell you who's laughing.
We are!
738
00:52:20,167 --> 00:52:21,234
Zoltan.
739
00:52:21,468 --> 00:52:24,739
Soon we will leave this lame planet...
740
00:52:25,039 --> 00:52:27,742
...and fly through outer space...
741
00:52:27,943 --> 00:52:31,012
...with cool aliens who like us.
742
00:52:31,246 --> 00:52:35,051
It is going to be awesome!
743
00:52:35,251 --> 00:52:36,552
Zoltan!
744
00:52:41,324 --> 00:52:44,594
That's them! They knocked us out
and stole our space suits!
745
00:52:45,362 --> 00:52:47,364
-No, we didn't.
-Yeah, you did!
746
00:52:47,698 --> 00:52:49,166
-No, we didn't.
-Yes, you did!
747
00:52:49,400 --> 00:52:51,202
-No, we didn't.
-Yes, you did!
748
00:52:51,402 --> 00:52:54,839
Hey, who you gonna believe,
us or them?
749
00:52:58,443 --> 00:53:01,280
So you're Jesse and Chester.
750
00:53:02,715 --> 00:53:05,351
I've been looking forward
to meeting you guys...
751
00:53:05,551 --> 00:53:07,754
...although, sorry
it had to be like this.
752
00:53:09,188 --> 00:53:10,290
-Chester!
-Jesse!
753
00:53:10,590 --> 00:53:12,259
-Wanda.
-Wilma!
754
00:53:12,693 --> 00:53:14,928
Normally, we wouldn't
resort to violence...
755
00:53:15,129 --> 00:53:18,299
...but we are dealing with
the continuum transfunctioner.
756
00:53:19,200 --> 00:53:22,637
If you don't deliver it to us,
your girlfriends are history.
757
00:53:24,273 --> 00:53:26,675
Don't worry, girls. We'll save you.
758
00:53:26,875 --> 00:53:28,677
Yeah, you can depend on us.
759
00:53:29,979 --> 00:53:31,413
Enough.
760
00:53:31,714 --> 00:53:36,586
Go now, and bring us
the continuum transfunctioner.
761
00:53:37,954 --> 00:53:41,224
And be quiet on your way out.
My parents are taking a nap.
762
00:53:51,937 --> 00:53:53,238
And then tell us where...
763
00:53:53,439 --> 00:53:56,475
-...the continuum transfunctioner is.
-And then?
764
00:53:56,809 --> 00:53:59,878
-And then we'll be able to go get it.
-And then?
765
00:54:03,417 --> 00:54:05,886
Can I get an order
of shrimp fried rice?
766
00:54:10,825 --> 00:54:13,361
-I don't see the car.
-It better be in there.
767
00:54:13,595 --> 00:54:15,229
I almost lost my pinky for it.
768
00:54:16,731 --> 00:54:20,569
Oh, man, I'm sensing something
very Canadian about this place.
769
00:54:27,009 --> 00:54:28,544
Plan B.
770
00:54:32,082 --> 00:54:33,383
All right.
771
00:54:34,117 --> 00:54:35,385
Are you ready?
772
00:54:35,585 --> 00:54:37,288
Let's do this.
773
00:54:37,688 --> 00:54:41,259
One, two, three.
774
00:54:47,432 --> 00:54:48,500
I'm okay. You okay?
775
00:54:50,769 --> 00:54:51,870
Shibby.
776
00:55:27,310 --> 00:55:30,547
Dude, it's a llama.
777
00:55:30,781 --> 00:55:33,951
It's not a llama. It's an ostrich.
778
00:55:34,152 --> 00:55:36,654
Okay, okay, okay...
779
00:55:36,888 --> 00:55:39,157
...very slowly, let's turn around...
780
00:55:40,091 --> 00:55:42,928
-...and go back the other way.
-Okay.
781
00:55:47,800 --> 00:55:48,968
New plan.
782
00:55:49,168 --> 00:55:53,707
We turn around again, very slowly...
783
00:55:53,940 --> 00:55:57,344
-...and go back the other way.
-Okay.
784
00:56:04,218 --> 00:56:05,887
They're everywhere.
785
00:56:08,890 --> 00:56:09,891
What now?
786
00:56:10,458 --> 00:56:14,229
Hey, I saw this thing
about ostriches on Animal Planet.
787
00:56:14,430 --> 00:56:16,332
-They're llamas, dude.
-No.
788
00:56:16,866 --> 00:56:21,004
What you're supposed to do
is stand very still...
789
00:56:21,204 --> 00:56:24,307
...and eventually,
they'll get bored and go away.
790
00:56:29,246 --> 00:56:30,614
I think it's working.
791
00:56:38,857 --> 00:56:40,659
Stupid llamas!
792
00:56:43,162 --> 00:56:44,397
Chester!
793
00:56:48,701 --> 00:56:50,403
Just get in this car!
794
00:56:52,506 --> 00:56:53,774
Go, go!
795
00:56:55,943 --> 00:56:57,611
What do ostriches eat?
796
00:56:57,812 --> 00:56:59,180
-Why?
-Well...
797
00:56:59,380 --> 00:57:01,349
...if they eat peanuts...
798
00:57:01,549 --> 00:57:04,186
...we can just throw a peanut
and they'll go away.
799
00:57:04,586 --> 00:57:08,490
-We don't have any peanuts.
-Weak! We're screwed!
800
00:57:17,935 --> 00:57:19,903
They're leaving. It worked.
801
00:57:20,136 --> 00:57:21,538
What worked?
802
00:57:21,738 --> 00:57:23,307
Whatever we did!
803
00:57:40,326 --> 00:57:43,596
Now may I have
the continuum transfunctioner?
804
00:57:44,864 --> 00:57:46,332
Not quite yet.
805
00:57:46,767 --> 00:57:47,968
Please?
806
00:57:51,772 --> 00:57:53,107
Scary dream, huh?
807
00:57:53,308 --> 00:57:55,510
What's up? My name is Mark.
808
00:57:56,911 --> 00:58:00,015
-Where are we?
-You're in the punishment room.
809
00:58:00,249 --> 00:58:03,452
This is where he likes to keep
the ostrich poachers.
810
00:58:03,786 --> 00:58:06,155
-Poachers?
-Yeah, that's right.
811
00:58:06,356 --> 00:58:09,959
I've been in this cage for three
years, five months, and 17 days...
812
00:58:10,193 --> 00:58:11,728
...but who's counting?
813
00:58:13,797 --> 00:58:14,765
How's my breath?
814
00:58:17,601 --> 00:58:18,769
That bad, huh?
815
00:58:18,969 --> 00:58:22,506
Where you guys from?
I'm from Connecticut. Hi. Mark.
816
00:58:22,807 --> 00:58:23,775
There we go.
817
00:58:24,809 --> 00:58:26,778
Chester! Get him off!
818
00:58:27,145 --> 00:58:28,446
Pierre!
819
00:58:30,048 --> 00:58:33,119
No, that's not what it looks like.
Maybe a little bit.
820
00:58:33,353 --> 00:58:35,321
-How was your nap?
-Shut up!
821
00:58:35,688 --> 00:58:39,225
Okay. Well, somebody
sure is a Grumpy Gus today.
822
00:58:41,895 --> 00:58:46,300
In France, when a man is caught
poaching ostriches...
823
00:58:46,501 --> 00:58:51,272
...we shave his head, and we make him
run through the fields.
824
00:58:51,472 --> 00:58:53,141
Oh, God, that's the good part.
825
00:58:53,341 --> 00:58:55,544
Once you have seen this...
826
00:58:57,579 --> 00:58:59,882
...you are never quite the same.
827
00:59:00,249 --> 00:59:03,119
-Okay.
-Tell me about it. I used to model.
828
00:59:03,687 --> 00:59:06,022
Lucky for you, I am an honorable man.
829
00:59:06,423 --> 00:59:08,191
A what? I'm sorry?
830
00:59:08,592 --> 00:59:10,861
I said, "I am an honorable man."
831
00:59:11,128 --> 00:59:13,364
I'm sorry, I-- "Honorgable"?
832
00:59:13,564 --> 00:59:15,199
-Honorable.
-"Honorgable."
833
00:59:15,399 --> 00:59:16,801
-Honorable.
-"Honorgable."
834
00:59:17,001 --> 00:59:19,270
-What are you saying?
-Honorable.
835
00:59:19,471 --> 00:59:21,673
I think you're trying
to say honorable.
836
00:59:21,874 --> 00:59:24,610
-Shut up!
-Hey! I'm sorry.
837
00:59:25,144 --> 00:59:28,647
All right, here it is.
I am going to ask you a question.
838
00:59:28,881 --> 00:59:31,384
If you get it right,
I will set you free.
839
00:59:31,951 --> 00:59:35,956
If you get it wrong, well,
you will be spending a lot of time...
840
00:59:36,189 --> 00:59:38,692
...with the ever-popular Mark.
841
00:59:40,127 --> 00:59:41,595
I can be very nice.
842
00:59:42,063 --> 00:59:44,365
All right. Here it is.
843
00:59:44,766 --> 00:59:47,435
What is the average running speed...
844
00:59:48,036 --> 00:59:52,641
...of a full-grown male
African ostrich?
845
00:59:52,875 --> 00:59:54,243
Pass.
846
00:59:54,977 --> 00:59:57,146
-Pass to me. I know it.
-Pass to Mark.
847
00:59:57,347 --> 01:00:01,484
You cannot pass! Shut up!
Do I have to hose you down again?
848
01:00:01,685 --> 01:00:02,886
Don't hose me!
849
01:00:03,086 --> 01:00:04,154
Maybe later.
850
01:00:04,488 --> 01:00:07,291
-Dude, we're dead.
-Hey, not so fast.
851
01:00:08,626 --> 01:00:12,397
The full-grown male African ostrich
or the Latin Struthio camelus...
852
01:00:12,897 --> 01:00:16,001
...can grow to an average size
of 6 feet, 6 inches...
853
01:00:16,235 --> 01:00:17,936
...and weigh from 225 to 350 pounds...
854
01:00:18,604 --> 01:00:21,874
...and can get up to an average speed
of 27 miles per hour.
855
01:00:22,041 --> 01:00:24,076
This is absolutely correct!
856
01:00:24,744 --> 01:00:25,745
Animal Planet.
857
01:00:26,012 --> 01:00:27,547
Well, I said, "Brown."
858
01:00:27,814 --> 01:00:30,651
Here, let me get you out
of this stinking cage.
859
01:00:31,552 --> 01:00:34,554
Oh, please forgive me.
Can I get you guys some beers?
860
01:00:34,788 --> 01:00:36,457
I'd like a near beer, please.
861
01:00:36,657 --> 01:00:37,625
Shut up!
862
01:00:37,859 --> 01:00:40,328
We just came about the car
you bought today.
863
01:00:40,528 --> 01:00:42,363
We wanted to get some stuff out.
864
01:00:42,563 --> 01:00:45,033
No problem. Right this way.
865
01:00:45,233 --> 01:00:49,104
-It was nice meeting you guys.
-Good luck with the modeling thing.
866
01:00:49,305 --> 01:00:52,509
You e-mail me, okay? FreakInCage.com.
867
01:00:58,181 --> 01:01:02,186
Sacre bleu, the car was here
this afternoon. It-- It--
868
01:01:02,553 --> 01:01:04,021
It just disappear!
869
01:01:04,355 --> 01:01:08,893
-How do you just lose a car?
-I'm so sorry, you guys.
870
01:01:09,127 --> 01:01:12,831
-I feel terrible.
-All right, Pierre, just focus here.
871
01:01:13,432 --> 01:01:15,267
Was there anything in the car?
872
01:01:15,901 --> 01:01:17,303
No, nothing.
873
01:01:17,570 --> 01:01:20,940
Except, of course, for this.
874
01:01:23,476 --> 01:01:24,677
Dude!
875
01:01:39,894 --> 01:01:43,098
Dude, I'm having my next
birthday party here for sure.
876
01:01:43,299 --> 01:01:44,466
Yeah, me too.
877
01:01:49,139 --> 01:01:50,473
Cool.
878
01:01:51,007 --> 01:01:53,577
Excuse me. Can you tell me
where locker 206 is?
879
01:01:53,811 --> 01:01:55,379
Yeah, it's right over there.
880
01:01:55,612 --> 01:01:57,748
It's you guys!
Dude, you guys played...
881
01:01:57,981 --> 01:02:00,218
...an amazing round
of putt-putt last night.
882
01:02:01,386 --> 01:02:03,154
-We did?
-Oh, yeah.
883
01:02:03,789 --> 01:02:05,757
-Thanks, dude.
-Shibby.
884
01:02:06,825 --> 01:02:08,093
Here it is.
885
01:02:08,427 --> 01:02:11,798
-I sure hope my money's in there.
-Yep.
886
01:02:11,998 --> 01:02:14,434
-Who are you?
-This is my boyfriend, Patty.
887
01:02:14,634 --> 01:02:16,036
Nice to meet you.
888
01:02:16,336 --> 01:02:18,205
How do you keep popping up?
889
01:02:19,206 --> 01:02:22,376
Less questions,
more giving me my money.
890
01:02:25,980 --> 01:02:28,149
Well, I guess this is it.
891
01:02:28,449 --> 01:02:30,752
Yep. The moment of truth.
892
01:02:31,119 --> 01:02:35,124
It's been a long, strange trip, dude.
893
01:02:35,357 --> 01:02:37,326
It sure has, Jesse.
894
01:02:38,060 --> 01:02:40,530
Hey! I've got a plane to catch.
895
01:02:40,763 --> 01:02:42,665
Okay, okay, okay.
896
01:02:47,738 --> 01:02:50,241
Oh, my suitcase!
897
01:02:54,712 --> 01:02:57,349
Oh, my God! You guys are the best.
898
01:02:57,815 --> 01:02:59,684
Thank you so much.
899
01:03:05,057 --> 01:03:08,795
Thanks for your help, fella.
Good work.
900
01:03:11,898 --> 01:03:14,968
Are we supposed to be
grossed out by this, or...?
901
01:03:15,202 --> 01:03:16,904
I don't know.
902
01:03:17,605 --> 01:03:19,073
Bye.
903
01:03:21,041 --> 01:03:22,944
Look at this stuff.
904
01:03:23,745 --> 01:03:25,847
Captain Stu tickets.
905
01:03:26,314 --> 01:03:27,949
Awesome!
906
01:03:28,584 --> 01:03:31,053
Oh, jellybeans.
907
01:03:33,522 --> 01:03:35,257
No jellybeans.
908
01:03:36,525 --> 01:03:38,027
Cool straw.
909
01:03:38,895 --> 01:03:40,931
-I'm gonna keep this.
-Yeah.
910
01:03:54,279 --> 01:03:56,281
I don't see a
continuum transfunctioner.
911
01:03:56,514 --> 01:04:00,286
Wait a second. What do we know
about the continuum transfunctioner?
912
01:04:00,486 --> 01:04:02,955
It's a very mysterious
and powerful device.
913
01:04:03,155 --> 01:04:04,123
And?
914
01:04:04,357 --> 01:04:07,327
And its mystery
is only exceeded by its power.
915
01:04:07,560 --> 01:04:10,097
But has anyone ever said
what it looks like?
916
01:04:11,999 --> 01:04:13,067
No.
917
01:04:13,334 --> 01:04:14,635
They haven't.
918
01:04:25,915 --> 01:04:27,983
That was Jesse and Chester.
919
01:04:28,484 --> 01:04:31,521
They've got
the continuum transfunctioner!
920
01:04:33,323 --> 01:04:35,058
Quick! To my mother's minivan!
921
01:04:40,431 --> 01:04:42,033
That was Jesse and Chester.
922
01:04:42,266 --> 01:04:44,669
They've got
the continuum transfunctioner.
923
01:04:46,604 --> 01:04:48,907
Quick! To my step dad's pickup truck!
924
01:04:51,443 --> 01:04:53,845
I'm getting the hang
of this thing, dude.
925
01:04:56,782 --> 01:04:58,151
Yes!
926
01:04:59,919 --> 01:05:03,323
Oh, yes! I finally beat you!
927
01:05:04,057 --> 01:05:06,026
You. You're a competitor.
928
01:05:06,994 --> 01:05:10,464
Oh, boy. You got me the first nine,
but not number 10.
929
01:05:11,299 --> 01:05:12,299
Not gonna happen.
930
01:05:13,768 --> 01:05:15,403
-Final showdown time.
-Chester.
931
01:05:15,637 --> 01:05:17,105
-Jesse.
-Don't worry, girls.
932
01:05:17,572 --> 01:05:19,541
We're here to save the day.
933
01:05:20,008 --> 01:05:23,178
Quit it. These things are expensive.
934
01:05:24,079 --> 01:05:28,117
Enough! Do you have
the continuum transfunctioner or not?
935
01:05:29,152 --> 01:05:30,554
Right here.
936
01:05:31,387 --> 01:05:34,558
-Now release the girls.
-First give up the transfunctioner.
937
01:05:34,792 --> 01:05:38,696
-First release the girls.
-First give us the transfunctioner.
938
01:05:38,896 --> 01:05:40,264
Same time.
939
01:05:42,767 --> 01:05:43,902
Yes!
940
01:05:48,573 --> 01:05:49,842
There they are.
941
01:05:50,342 --> 01:05:53,612
Okay, stoners, where's
the continuum transfunctioner?
942
01:06:04,358 --> 01:06:05,960
Release dodo bird.
943
01:06:09,798 --> 01:06:11,599
-Tommy, you're such a jerk.
-Yeah.
944
01:06:11,900 --> 01:06:15,304
-That's our continuum transfunctioner.
-Well, now it's mine.
945
01:06:16,705 --> 01:06:17,973
Nerd.
946
01:06:22,812 --> 01:06:25,515
-Dude, let's get out of here.
-Yeah.
947
01:06:27,150 --> 01:06:29,720
Where is the
continuum transfunctioner?
948
01:06:29,954 --> 01:06:31,188
We don't have it.
949
01:06:31,388 --> 01:06:35,259
But we'd like you to meet
our girlfriends, Wanda and Wilma.
950
01:06:35,560 --> 01:06:36,661
We've already met.
951
01:06:36,895 --> 01:06:40,599
-Stay away from our boyfriends.
-You fake-breasted sluts.
952
01:06:42,367 --> 01:06:44,670
Okay, let's go this way.
953
01:06:46,639 --> 01:06:49,643
Halt. Where is the
continuum transfunctioner?
954
01:06:49,876 --> 01:06:52,212
You want to go talk
to that guy over there.
955
01:06:52,579 --> 01:06:54,113
Let the pleasure begin.
956
01:06:54,347 --> 01:06:56,550
That's not the
continuum transfunctioner.
957
01:06:57,084 --> 01:06:58,152
Of course, it is.
958
01:07:01,822 --> 01:07:03,791
Follow the kids.
Come on, follow them.
959
01:07:03,991 --> 01:07:05,927
Go, go, go.
960
01:07:19,809 --> 01:07:21,945
Nerd-bashing time.
961
01:07:22,412 --> 01:07:23,714
It's not our fault.
962
01:07:23,914 --> 01:07:24,982
It was them.
963
01:07:25,416 --> 01:07:28,252
Looking for a Smokey McPot.
964
01:07:28,452 --> 01:07:31,689
I have a delivery
for a Smokey McPot.
965
01:07:31,889 --> 01:07:34,426
-You ordered pizza?
-I figured we'd get hungry.
966
01:07:34,659 --> 01:07:36,895
Oh, no, it's you two!
967
01:07:37,563 --> 01:07:38,797
Look, I almost got it.
968
01:07:38,997 --> 01:07:42,902
You're really starting to irk me
with your Rubik's Cube fixation!
969
01:07:43,102 --> 01:07:44,571
Sweet!
970
01:07:57,184 --> 01:07:59,053
No wonder they're so impossible.
971
01:07:59,353 --> 01:08:02,023
You've activated the
continuum transfunctioner.
972
01:08:02,223 --> 01:08:03,458
What's going on?
973
01:08:03,659 --> 01:08:06,561
Once all five of the
dirugian crystals stop flashing...
974
01:08:06,795 --> 01:08:08,698
...the universe will be destroyed.
975
01:08:08,898 --> 01:08:10,132
How do you know?
976
01:08:10,332 --> 01:08:12,735
We intercepted
interstellar transmissions.
977
01:08:12,936 --> 01:08:14,971
-Zoltan.
-Nerds.
978
01:08:15,405 --> 01:08:16,607
Way to go, Chester.
979
01:08:16,840 --> 01:08:18,241
Sorry.
980
01:08:18,542 --> 01:08:20,678
You must give it to us
to deactivate it.
981
01:08:20,911 --> 01:08:23,247
We are the keepers
of the transfunctioner.
982
01:08:23,448 --> 01:08:25,683
They will use it
to destroy the universe.
983
01:08:25,884 --> 01:08:29,287
No, we are the keepers
of the continuum transfunctioner.
984
01:08:29,487 --> 01:08:32,591
-They want to destroy the universe.
-Stop copying us.
985
01:08:32,825 --> 01:08:34,860
-Stop copying us.
-Stop copying us.
986
01:08:35,127 --> 01:08:36,896
-Stop copying us.
-Bitch.
987
01:08:37,496 --> 01:08:40,934
Don't you guys remember?
We came to this planet last night...
988
01:08:41,167 --> 01:08:43,870
...to escape the clutches
of those evil space sluts.
989
01:08:44,071 --> 01:08:47,407
-We met you here.
-You gave us a ride to our spaceship.
990
01:08:47,608 --> 01:08:50,778
And we realized we'd lost
the continuum transfunctioner.
991
01:08:51,713 --> 01:08:54,315
Hurry, there's only three
blinking lights left.
992
01:08:54,949 --> 01:08:55,917
Bye-bye, universe.
993
01:08:56,151 --> 01:08:59,321
He's right, dude.
We're gonna make the wrong decision.
994
01:08:59,822 --> 01:09:03,459
You know what, dude? I refuse
to let us go down in history...
995
01:09:03,692 --> 01:09:05,961
...as the dudes
who destroyed the universe.
996
01:09:06,162 --> 01:09:09,666
How do we find out
which ones are the true keepers?
997
01:09:09,900 --> 01:09:12,870
It's simple. We ask them
a question about last night...
998
01:09:13,070 --> 01:09:16,240
...that only the ones that are
telling the truth would know.
999
01:09:16,440 --> 01:09:18,409
But we can't remember a thing.
1000
01:09:20,211 --> 01:09:21,979
-You gotta hurry.
-Not now, Jeff.
1001
01:09:22,247 --> 01:09:23,281
Zip it.
1002
01:09:26,218 --> 01:09:29,288
If we really did give one of you guys
a ride last night...
1003
01:09:29,521 --> 01:09:31,490
...then you'll know
the answer to this.
1004
01:09:34,060 --> 01:09:35,528
Hurry!
1005
01:09:36,763 --> 01:09:39,800
What score did we get
on the 18th hole...
1006
01:09:40,034 --> 01:09:42,403
...of the miniature golf course
last night?
1007
01:09:49,411 --> 01:09:50,678
You got a hole in one.
1008
01:09:50,912 --> 01:09:53,148
That is...
1009
01:09:57,119 --> 01:09:58,087
...correct!
1010
01:10:08,299 --> 01:10:10,768
Deactivation complete.
1011
01:10:19,644 --> 01:10:23,048
Wait. If you guys don't remember
a thing about last night....
1012
01:10:23,248 --> 01:10:26,185
-How do you know they told the truth?
-It's simple.
1013
01:10:26,852 --> 01:10:27,820
The pudding!
1014
01:10:31,090 --> 01:10:33,393
-You guys had a plan!
-And it actually worked.
1015
01:10:38,398 --> 01:10:39,566
For the love of God!
1016
01:10:42,737 --> 01:10:45,106
Wow! Morphing is cool!
1017
01:10:52,814 --> 01:10:56,686
Whoa! That is one
super hot giant alien!
1018
01:11:01,692 --> 01:11:02,826
Just go!
1019
01:11:03,060 --> 01:11:04,695
-Chester!
-Jesse!
1020
01:11:09,801 --> 01:11:11,236
That is amazing!
1021
01:11:11,436 --> 01:11:15,307
Yeah. Those are the biggest
hoo-hoos I have ever seen.
1022
01:11:17,876 --> 01:11:19,411
Do you spit or swallow?
1023
01:11:19,645 --> 01:11:20,746
Swallow!
1024
01:11:25,818 --> 01:11:29,523
We will now use the power
of the continuum transfunctioner...
1025
01:11:29,723 --> 01:11:31,826
...to banish you
to Hoboken, New Jersey.
1026
01:11:37,398 --> 01:11:40,869
-What are we supposed to do now?
-I think we run, dude!
1027
01:11:51,848 --> 01:11:53,683
Boy, those guys are in a hurry.
1028
01:12:03,061 --> 01:12:07,198
-I want to go on that ride, Daddy.
-Me too, son. Me too.
1029
01:12:22,882 --> 01:12:25,719
-What do we do with this?
-You've gotta activate...
1030
01:12:25,919 --> 01:12:28,255
...the photon accelerator
annihilation beam!
1031
01:12:28,456 --> 01:12:32,293
-The what?
-They said, "the photon accelerator...
1032
01:12:32,493 --> 01:12:35,830
...annihilation beam," you fool!
1033
01:12:36,365 --> 01:12:37,733
Hurry, activate it, dude!
1034
01:12:42,571 --> 01:12:44,640
-This is it!
-Thanks, Captain Obvious!
1035
01:12:46,776 --> 01:12:47,744
I can't reach it!
1036
01:12:47,977 --> 01:12:50,414
Deep in your consciousness,
you must look!
1037
01:12:50,981 --> 01:12:53,851
Concentrate on
the knowledge inside, you must!
1038
01:12:54,518 --> 01:12:56,554
Does he have to talk like that?
1039
01:12:56,821 --> 01:12:58,289
I like the way he talks.
1040
01:13:04,830 --> 01:13:07,399
Chimpanzees often use sticks
as crude tools.
1041
01:13:07,700 --> 01:13:09,134
I've got it!
1042
01:13:15,741 --> 01:13:17,243
Oh, boy!
1043
01:13:22,516 --> 01:13:23,951
We saved the universe!
1044
01:13:24,151 --> 01:13:25,753
The big bitch is dead!
1045
01:13:40,269 --> 01:13:44,274
Damn! Now those are
some big-ass panties.
1046
01:13:45,041 --> 01:13:49,480
-Honey, could you give me a hand?
-No, Tommy. I've found somebody else.
1047
01:13:55,554 --> 01:13:57,122
Jesse and Chester saved us.
1048
01:13:57,355 --> 01:14:00,325
You'll still take us
to outer space with you, right?
1049
01:14:00,559 --> 01:14:03,595
There is a party in the Crab Nebula.
You can come too.
1050
01:14:04,196 --> 01:14:05,164
Crab Nebula!
1051
01:14:10,837 --> 01:14:13,807
-Here you go.
-Thanks for your help.
1052
01:14:14,007 --> 01:14:17,845
-Jesse and Chester.
-You've ensured the universe's safety.
1053
01:14:18,045 --> 01:14:19,480
Well, that's cool and all...
1054
01:14:19,680 --> 01:14:21,983
...but, dude, where's my car?
1055
01:14:22,250 --> 01:14:24,085
You mean you guys don't remember?
1056
01:14:24,285 --> 01:14:27,722
-Damn, you were wasted last night.
-Now, we must eliminate...
1057
01:14:27,956 --> 01:14:29,558
...knowledge of this encounter.
1058
01:14:30,259 --> 01:14:32,328
No. We have so many questions...
1059
01:14:32,561 --> 01:14:34,630
...we want to ask you
about the universe.
1060
01:14:35,064 --> 01:14:37,634
-Like what?
-Well....
1061
01:14:41,772 --> 01:14:43,941
Have you guys
ever been to Uranus?
1062
01:14:44,175 --> 01:14:45,643
Nice!
1063
01:15:00,259 --> 01:15:02,762
-Morning, guys.
-Morning, Gene.
1064
01:15:05,565 --> 01:15:06,900
We'll go to the twins'.
1065
01:15:07,100 --> 01:15:09,470
-And then?
-Then we'll give them their gifts.
1066
01:15:09,670 --> 01:15:11,805
-And then?
-We'll apologize for the house.
1067
01:15:12,039 --> 01:15:13,974
-And then?
-We get our special treats.
1068
01:15:14,174 --> 01:15:16,211
-And then?
-Dude, that's really annoying.
1069
01:15:16,444 --> 01:15:17,611
Sorry.
1070
01:15:17,845 --> 01:15:19,180
Dude, where's my car?
1071
01:15:22,050 --> 01:15:23,185
Dude, where's my car?
1072
01:15:24,052 --> 01:15:25,554
Where's your car, dude?
1073
01:15:29,359 --> 01:15:31,160
Dude, there's your car.
1074
01:15:36,367 --> 01:15:38,335
"I heart you."
1075
01:15:38,936 --> 01:15:41,739
You guys are great boyfriends.
1076
01:15:43,207 --> 01:15:46,878
-And we have something for you too.
-A very special treat.
1077
01:15:47,679 --> 01:15:49,247
Shibby!
1078
01:15:50,582 --> 01:15:51,550
Ta-da!
1079
01:15:52,050 --> 01:15:54,320
We sewed the names on ourselves.
1080
01:15:54,887 --> 01:15:56,355
Wow.
1081
01:15:57,190 --> 01:15:58,157
Put them on.
1082
01:16:04,965 --> 01:16:06,433
You guys look great.
1083
01:16:09,837 --> 01:16:11,405
In berets?
1084
01:16:12,206 --> 01:16:13,308
What are these?
1085
01:16:14,109 --> 01:16:16,011
More gifts.
1086
01:16:18,146 --> 01:16:20,750
-They're beautiful.
-Where did you guys get these?
1087
01:16:21,417 --> 01:16:22,384
This...
1088
01:16:22,618 --> 01:16:24,053
...place.
1089
01:16:24,988 --> 01:16:26,489
-Wow.
-Me first.
1090
01:16:27,757 --> 01:16:29,859
"Thanks for helping
to save the universe.
1091
01:16:30,093 --> 01:16:32,596
Hope your girls like these gifts.
You will. "
1092
01:16:32,963 --> 01:16:35,699
How wasted were we last night?
1093
01:16:41,306 --> 01:16:43,842
-Sweet!
-Dude!
1094
01:16:57,958 --> 01:16:59,526
-Is anyone hungry?
-Yeah.
1095
01:16:59,894 --> 01:17:02,363
-I could go for Chinese food.
-Sounds great.
1096
01:17:02,563 --> 01:17:03,531
Sweet!
1097
01:17:09,437 --> 01:17:12,073
-My back itches, dude.
-Jesse, you got a tattoo.
1098
01:17:12,307 --> 01:17:13,976
Oh, my God. So do you, Chester.
1099
01:17:14,209 --> 01:17:16,612
-No way. What's mine say?
-"Dude."
1100
01:17:16,812 --> 01:17:18,514
-What about mine?
-"Sweet."
1101
01:17:18,714 --> 01:17:20,817
-Yeah, but what does mine say?
-"Dude"!
1102
01:17:21,050 --> 01:17:22,619
-What about mine?
-"Sweet."
1103
01:17:22,852 --> 01:17:25,622
I know, they're sweet,
but, dude, what's mine say?
1104
01:17:25,822 --> 01:17:26,790
"Dude"!
1105
01:17:27,024 --> 01:17:29,026
-What about mine?
-"Sweet"!
1106
01:17:42,441 --> 01:17:44,076
I can do sexy.
1107
01:17:45,344 --> 01:17:47,413
How do you keep popping up like this?
1108
01:17:50,283 --> 01:17:52,919
Come on, this isn't fair.
They're mooning us.
1109
01:17:53,320 --> 01:17:54,555
Sweet, dude.
1110
01:17:54,755 --> 01:17:55,923
It's good, right?
1111
01:18:00,027 --> 01:18:01,128
-Sweet!
-Dude!
1112
01:18:01,362 --> 01:18:04,032
-I am fun-loving. I like charades.
-Shut up!
1113
01:18:04,433 --> 01:18:05,867
Go ahead and laugh.
1114
01:18:08,904 --> 01:18:10,405
Hold on a second.
1115
01:18:25,055 --> 01:18:26,057
Zoltan!
1116
01:18:37,903 --> 01:18:38,738
That's a keeper.
1117
01:18:39,105 --> 01:18:40,106
Fingers crossed.
1118
01:18:43,008 --> 01:18:44,177
I got it!
1119
01:18:44,844 --> 01:18:46,479
You want a piece of this?
1120
01:18:48,648 --> 01:18:50,350
-Dude!
-Sweet!
1121
01:18:50,651 --> 01:18:53,521
-And then?
-And then we went and--
1122
01:18:53,787 --> 01:18:56,891
-And then?
-Got those sweet jumpsuits so we--
1123
01:18:57,125 --> 01:19:00,061
-And then?
-Then we went and-- I'm losing it.
1124
01:19:00,328 --> 01:19:02,597
I am fun-loving, without my clothes.
1125
01:19:02,798 --> 01:19:06,803
The platonic--
The gray thing, dummy!
1126
01:19:07,103 --> 01:19:08,471
-Dude!
-Sweet!
1127
01:19:14,844 --> 01:19:17,347
Can we cut?
1128
01:19:17,648 --> 01:19:19,250
We gotta cut. We have to.
1129
01:19:19,750 --> 01:19:20,851
You have to cut.
1130
01:19:21,085 --> 01:19:22,386
You guys have to cut.
1131
01:19:23,054 --> 01:19:24,121
Cut!
1132
01:19:26,091 --> 01:19:27,359
Punk-ass kids!
1133
01:23:02,300 --> 01:23:03,635
And then?
83100
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