All language subtitles for Bad.Boys.II.2003.1080p.3333

[♪♪♪]

Ja, all this is under control then.

A hundred and fifty million dollars
and my dope is on the way.

Today is gonna be a good day.

We are 25 degrees north,
84 degrees west.

The cargo's being dropped.

[SPEAKING IN SPANISH]

Good.

- Do you want to see his gun?
- Yeah.

Bang. Bang.

Sorry, Johnny.

Fucking bitches.

Infrared's picking up
a live one on the water.

This is Air Force Stallion
C-14 to Coast Guard.

We're picking up a fast-moving contact
heading 3-5-0 toward South Florida.

Captain, Air Force Stallion
has a contact at 1-8-0 closing fast.

This is Coast Guard cutter Valiant.
Request to know your intentions.

Vessel off our port bow, this is
U.S. Coast Guard, U.S. Coast Guard.

Intercept is 1-8-0, speed 17 knots.

Make it so, chief. Scramble the helo.

Vessel off our port bow.
Vessel off our port bow.

This is U.S. Coast Guard,
U.S. Coast Guard.

Request to know your intentions
at this time.

Incoming.

Valiant, Valiant, Valiant.

This is Coast Guard 6-0-0-3.

Negative contact with target. Over.

Captain, we've lost target.

Here's your delivery and payment.

Is it done?

- Cargo is on Dixie 7.
- Okay.

TNT LEADER: All right, TNT,
for the millionth time, listen up.

Since 9/11, we've gone high-tech
over the water...

...so the dope runners have gone low.

Our source says the biggest shipment
of X on record is coming in tonight...

...and we want to know
who's behind it.

Hopefully in a few hours
we'll have our answer.

We're gonna hit them
from three directions:

We're going with a water team, vehicle
assault, and we got guys on foot.

We cannot make a move until our UCs
have ID'd the drugs and called us in.

No call, we back away.
And these guys we're going after...

...they got a lot of firepower and they
hate the law. So eyes open out there.

[♪♪♪]

MAN:
Bravo's on the move.

Heads up. Here comes the drop.

Fuck. My lens is flaring.

I can't see shit.

Brothers! Gather around!

Hey.

Why didn't you tell me
there was a rally?

Who's looking?

- Take that shit. I'm out of here.
- Shit.

- White power!
ALL: White power!

Blue power, motherfuckers.
Miami P.D.

Aw, damn. It's the Negroes.

Casper, drop the bag.
Alpha leader, bring them in.

♪ Bad boys, bad boys
What you gonna do? ♪

♪ What you gonna do
When we come for you? ♪♪

[SINGING INDISTINCTLY]

Dude, you gotta learn the words.

We usually only do the chorus.

Alpha leader, hit it. Br...

Repeat your transmission.

Alpha leader to Bravo Four,
please continue relay.

Where's backup?

Alpha leader, bring them in. Hit it.

Mike, I'm only getting static.

All I'm getting is static.
The radios are fucked.

[LAUGHS]

Something funny? Something funny?

- Whoa.
- Mike, where are they?

- Got you, nigger.
- Woo!

- Looks like we got us a situation here.
- You ain't gonna shoot, nigger.

Because you got that gun to my partner,
you think I won't splatter you all over?

- That's what I'm thinking.
- What you don't understand...

...is my partner came here
prepared to die...

Hell... Hell, no!

...incinerating trash like you.
You ready to die, ain't you, Marcus?

Fuck I want to do that for?

Scared, ain't you, boy?

A, you can put that gun down,
tell me who's bringing this shit in...

...and maybe I'll just pop one
in your shoulder.

B, you can keep acting all Brody
and I'm gonna plant one in your chest.

Or C, you know,
take the time to talk a minute.

You know, de-escalate the situation.

You see, that's the new spiritual bullshit
my partner's on.

Me? I actually prefer
shooting motherfuckers.

A lot of movement going on.
I can't see the UCs.

- I think something's going down.
- Don't move yet.

Mike, the man has a gun to my head.

I bet he'll put it down
if I put a hollow point in his eye!

Your partner's a cocky nigger.

- Damn. Now, was that necessary, sir?
- See?

How come he can't just be a cop?
He gotta be a nigga too?

I'm gonna hot this fool.

- Mike, look, Calm down.
- Calm down? I'm calm.

I'm calm! What...? Hey! Whoa! Whoa!

I am way too unstable for that bullshit.

Stop all the goddamned movement!
Everybody stop moving!

We can't let you all go, but, look,
this shit'll get worked out in court.

We got our rights.

Why don't you exercise your right
to shut the fuck up?

I'm all right.
I'll just give you all a warning, okay?

That's the best I can fucking do
for all of youse!

Okay? He's crazy.

You got three seconds
to put your gun down.

He has emotional
anger issue problems!

- One.
- He goes to bed early for this shit!

Just to wake up to pop one
in a motherfucker!

- Two!
- Mike, no!

Gun!

Rock 'n' roll! Let's go!

Kill them cops!

Marcus!

[SHRIEKS]

[YELLS]

MAN:
Go! Go! Go! Go! Come on, go!

We're going down!

OFFICER 1: Get down!
OFFICER 2: Drop the...!

MAN: I didn't do shit!
OFFICER 3: Get your hands up.

MAN: I didn't do it!
OFFICER 3: Let's go.

TNT LEADER: The radios were fucked
up. Get some medics. You guys okay?

- Yeah, we're fine.
MARCUS: What you mean, "we"?

Motherfucker shot me in the ass, man.

Who shot you in the ass?

Who? That "who" would be you.

- Me? I shot you?
- Yeah.

I mean, I was shooting.
Yeah, I did a lot of shooting.

I mean, but I ain't saying
I shot you in the ass.

I ain't saying I didn't shoot you...

...but, damn!
Somebody shot you in the ass.

Tell me about it.

Yo, man, how's it feel?

It's hot, man. I smell my ass burning.

Mike, why don't you just give it a little
kiss, man, you know, so it feel better?

Hey, just pretend like
we're not even here, man.

Hey, isn't Ricky Martin having
a concert? Get the fuck on.

- You always gotta go racial, man.
- It's sad, man.

I think it's cool, man. It hit the meat.
It ain't nowhere near the hole.

Two lousy bags?

What ever happened to
the biggest shipment of ecstasy...

...to ever come out of Amsterdam?

Let me worry about my snitch,
all right?

It's a lot of cop work for nothing!

Take your ass home somewhere.

[♪♪♪]

Tonight la policia jacked my mules.

Who in this room full
of my monos can tell me...

...how those jackals knew
where to bite Johnny Tapia?

Speak up, cousins.

You're lucky they did not find
my drugs on Dixie 7.

Change the boat schedule.

We can't change it now, Johnny.
We got a shipment Thursday.

Change it after.
Just keep them guessing.

You know, unlike you,
my daddy didn't leave me no trust fund.

- Yeah, right.
- Okay.

I got real-world shit to deal with, Mike.

MARCUS:
I'm not in it for the thrills.

Same old shit, different day.

All right, yes, damn.
I shot you, all right?

You wouldn't be seeing nothing
at all if I hadn't made my move.

So I don't know why
you acting so angry about it.

Oh, you're misinformed.
I'm not angry.

No, you're very angry.

No, I'm not angry.

You are angry. It's okay.

I'm not angry. Except when you
keep repeating "you're angry."

Now, that shit's fucking annoying.

Like a fucking gnat at a barbecue.

Just bugging the fuck out of me.

Good. I want you to say:

"I'm angry. It's okay.
I'll process my anger.

I love myself.

Whoosah."

I don't know what the fuck
you're talking about.

Yes, you do know
what the fuck I'm talking about.

You're the one that needs therapy.

- I did my therapy.
- When?

Capt. Howard made me do it
after I shot all them people at the airport.

Whoosah.

- Whoosah!
- Mm-hm.

Officer Mike.

[SPEAKS SPANISH]

- Papi. That's "daddy," right?
- Yeah.

Whoosah.

Mike, you go to therapy
to get your issues worked out...

...not bang your therapist.

See, now you just talking nasty.

I gotta survive.

I gotta start loving me for me.

Yeah, that sound like
that group thing talking.

Okay, maybe I did the group thing
once or twice.

Whoosah.

- And whoosah.
- Whoosah.

A bunch of men hugging and kissing,
that's some cult shit.

[♪♪♪]

[DANCE MUSIC
PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

Buy.

Ignore him, doc, he's blowing
this whole thing out of proportion.

My ass is what's out of proportion,
Mike, okay? I got a big chunk missing.

It's actually a small chunk.

This undue tension
you bringing into this relationship...

...ain't gonna be healthy
for us in the long run.

Maybe there ain't
gonna be no long run.

Whatever.

He's seeing a shrink. I mean...

[PHONE RINGS]

MIKE: Icepick, Lowrey.
- Hey, brother.

Hey, two bags? You embarrassed me
in front of my people.

Wait, brother. No, no, no, brother.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Hey, whatever. You better pray
to whoever it is that you pray to...

...because you got 24 hours
to find that X before I find you.

TAPIA:
The cops hit my mule.

Well, Mr. Tapia, I don't know
where the heat is coming from.

It's a delicate situation for both of us,
isn't it?

- I'm telling you, I've been checking them.
JOSEF: Alex, look, look. A guy's OD'ing.

I'm sorry, Mr. Tapia, I gotta hang up.

Some fucking punk
thinks he can die in my club.

Ecstasy fucks them up.

Get him out of here, Josef.

JOSEF: Sure, we'll dump him
around the block.

MAN:
Dump him.

["SHAKE YA TAILFEATHER"
PLAYING]

♪ Take it low
Girl, go and take it low ♪

♪ We can even do it slow
We can even do it slow ♪

♪ Take it where you want to go
Take it where you want to go ♪

♪ Just take that ass to the floor ♪♪

Auntie Syd, it must be so cool.

Young, single, living in New York.

Probably hook up
with a lot of cute guys.

Just like Sex and the City.

Theresa, cancel the damn cable.

So, Auntie Syd,
you're a cop too, huh?

Sort of. I work for the DEA,
but I just push a lot of papers.

- Nothing exciting.
- Well, you keep pushing papers.

I don't have to worry about my little
sister fighting crime, you hear it? Okay?

Possibly getting... Getting hurt.

James. Get my screwdriver.
Damn bolts.

Ignore him. He's just being mean
because he got injured.

- Are you okay?
- His wound is fine. It's, um...

...other things that were affected.

- Oh. Oh!
- Theresa!

What?

You... It's just nerve damage,
that's all.

Y'all not gonna spoil it.

I'll talk to you about it.

[HORN HONKS]

It's a donut.

It's a medical thing.

I got it from a maternity store.
You know, uh, pregnant women use it.

They can put one cheek here. And, like,
it take the pressure off the other cheek.

- For you, dog.
- Thoughtful.

Look, man, uh...

...you know, last night there was
something different in your eyes.

You know, Mike, I had an epiphany.
You know?

- I realised you're an enigma.
- Yeah, I could see that.

God sent you here to test me.
But guess what.

You not gonna break me, Mike.
No. Whoosah.

Is that Syd?

- That's Syd.
- Now's not a good time.

Look, Mike, listen,
now's not a good time.

MIKE: Hit me, hit me, hit me.
MARCUS: What?

No throwing balls in the house.

[GLASS BREAKING]

[SIGHS]

Whoa.

Whoosah.

- What's up, Theresa?
- Hey.

Aw, they ain't tell me it was a luau.

Hey, hey, whoa, hey.

Whoa, whoa, Syd, hold up.
Hold up. Hold on.

Behave yourself, girl.
Hey, hold up. Hold up. Hold up.

- Oh, look at you. Look at you.
- Oh.

Oh. Oh, okay. Okay. I see now.

You didn't tell Marcus
about New York.

Uh, he knows about New York.

About us? You told him about us?

No, he knows about New York.

You know, it's a nice city and that
I dropped a witness off last month.

Mm-hm.

[THERESA LAUGHING]

Mike is so sweet.

So sweet he make your teeth rot.

So have you told him yet?

Baby, soon, okay? Real soon.

He needs to know
you're transferring out...

...and you won't
be his partner anymore.

Theresa, timing is everything.

Marcus is not very happy
with me right now.

- Mike.
- No, no, Syd...

...I'm telling you, that is Scarface
limping around in there.

Really, we need to give that boy a few
minutes to let his butt heal up good.

We like each other.
What's the big deal?

I'm just gonna go tell him right now,
because this is dumb.

Hold up. Hold up. I'm gonna tell him.

It ain't like I ain't gonna tell him.
How am I not tell him?

- When?
- Just... I need a minute. All right?

Straight up. Just, me... We not
vibing right... I just need a minute.

Mike, he's my brother, okay?
Don't be scared. Toughen up, chief.

Whoa. Hey.
Hey, I ain't say I was scared.

Just there's something wrong
with your brother.

[DOG BARKS]

So, Mike, I understand
you were in New York last month.

Yeah, I was, um...

Remember I did the thing?
Remember? You remember?

Oh, um, the two of you
should've gotten together.

- That would've been really nice.
- Yeah.

Oh.

Syd, I never told you
Mike was in New York.

Well, you know what, Mike?

Um, Syd, she's gonna be in town,
what, another week?

Why don't you show her around Miami?
That would be nice.

That would be so great.

Yeah. Yeah, I could...
Well, me and, um...

Marcus, you wanna... You wanna...?
You wanna show her some stuff?

Yeah, because
I'm in town on vacation.

I'm staying at the most amazing hotel.
The view, the pool. Oh, my God.

We got a pool right here.

That ain't exactly a pool, man. That's like
a big-ass puddle wrapped in blue plastic.

Daddy, didn't they have any good pools
when you bought this one?

Megan, that pool cost $3900.

Okay, so how much
do the good pools cost?

- It's all right, baby.
- It is kind of whack, huh?

I gotta go meet somebody.
It was nice seeing you again, Mike.

Nice... Hey, good to see you.

Where you going?

- Bye, sweetie.
- Bye.

I thought you were on vacation.

So glad you could join us, Mike.

I'm telling you, spending time like this
make a partnership strong.

Mike, can I see you
by my stupid pool?

What's the deal, baby?

Why you gotta always come over here
and try to take over, Mike?

- What are you talking about?
- This is my family, man. Okay?

- What are you talking about?
- My place of peace.

Are you taking medication?

You taking medicine
for the thing, right?

- What I do?
- No, forget it. Just forget it.

- What I do?
- Mason, go fetch.

[DOG BARKS]

Whoa!

Oh, shit!

Now, that shit is funny.

That's some funny shit.

[PHONE RINGS]

Oh, man, hold up.

Yo, it's Lowrey, you hot.

Thirty-nine hundred dollars.
Thirty-nine hundred dollars.

You better pray to God
you right this time.

Yo, dry off, sweetheart.
That's Icepick.

He said the Haitian Zoepounds
about to do a rip. Let's move.

[♪♪♪]

All right, guys, smarten up.
Talk to me.

MAN:
Eyes on, agents. Good luck.

This is 105.

They're backing in.

I got a good look.

- We got a good eyeball.
- All right, we're in.

What's up?

You come highly recommended
out of New York.

You did some good jobs
for our Russian crew up there.

How old are you?

Old enough.

Come on. If you want to move this stuff,
you gotta do it quick.

Wow, nice getup.
You can start to run these through.

I'd like to see how
your machine works.

Ooh, that sounded dirty.

"I would like to see
how your machine works, baby."

I wouldn't be so crude.

I mean, I'm more of a refined
kind of a human being.

You follow ballet?

Three of my cousins are dancing with
the famous Bolshoi Theatre in Moscow.

I like hippie-hop too.

I gave you 5000.

SYDNEY:
You gave me 4900.

- I gave you 5000.
- Forty-nine hundred.

- Five thousand.
- Count it.

If you want to fuck with me again,
you can find yourself another chump.

Okay.

- How much?
- Three.

Oh, look at this.
Money everywhere. Clean it up.

Okay, we want to change
a little over $3 million, all right?

How many jobs did you do with
my friends up there in New York?

Quite a few.

How you behave with me
has consequences for a lot of people.

You found me,
not the other way around.

You needed me to change
small bills to large...

...and make a delivery to a third party.

I'd imagine he'd like his money
in a timely fashion.

Delivery's late,
it's your ass, not mine.

Woo!

[♪♪♪]

Here's 50,000 in 100s
for your 50,000 in 10s.

Third party takes his million
in these five briefcases here.

- I hope I'm not losing you, chief.
- I hate math.

So for your $3 million
that we shrunk for you...

...you get 2 million
in clean money back.

Less our percentage: $300,000.

- I'll be delivering these to your dealer.
- Alexei.

- What?
- We're giving too fucking much away.

[IN RUSSIAN]
We take all the risk.

And our suppliers
take too much of our profit.

[IN ENGLISH]
Yeah, we'll call the general, renegotiate.

He's a businessman,
we're businessmen.

Yeah, call him.

You call.

MAN: Agents, we're on
the move to the money drop.

Forward.

Hey, man, the truck's leaving.
We're going to follow it.

Don't lose that truck.

[♪♪♪]

Follow that truck. Follow that truck.

[WHISTLES]

[HORN BLOWING]

MIKE: Yep, they saddling up.
Look like Icepick came through.

Wonder whose shit
they about to rip now?

[♪♪♪]

MAN 1: Falcon One, do you see her
coming around the corner?

Stand by.

I don't want to get spotted,
take a burn.

Zoepound a bunch of pirates, man.
Steal anything.

MAN 2:
Black Suburban at 10 o'clock.

Oh, come on, baby.
Park it at the top.

Roberto, she's coming to you.

I got her.

This is Falcon One, guys.
I got her coming up.

Heads up, guys.
I got an orange muscle car.

Looks to be three
black male occupants.

It's out of our field of vision.
Bring it up.

All right, be aware,
we got three bogeys unidentified.

Guys, we got three bogeys.
They're splitting up. They're moving.

Be aware, guys. They're approaching...
Shit. Shit.

DRIVER: Aah! Aah!
- Jesus!

- Fuck, it's a hit!
- Shit.

[♪♪♪]

Agent down. Agent down.

Roberto, fucking follow them!

- I'm on it! I'm on it!
- Shit!

Hang on! Stay here!

Son of a bitch!

[SCREAMS]

[GRUNTS]

It's Syd!

Move! Move!

Man, what is your sister into?

[HORNS HONKING]

Sidewalk! Sidewalk!

MIKE:
Move! Move! Move!

Shit.

- Shit!
- I need backup on Canal, now!

You just get ready to shoot.

Police!

Stop! Stop the car!

Man, your badge?!
He has a gun! Shoot him!

MARCUS:
Mike, she's in trouble, man.

Move! Get out of the way!

[GASPS]

I think I done just got mad.

[GRUNTS]

- Gun! Gun! Gun!
- Hold on.

Now show them your badge!

[TYRES SCREECHING
AND SIRENS WAILING]

- This shit is crazy.
- I know, right?

Move! Move!

Get the world down here!

Mag!

[SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]

Aah! Shit!

Go! Go!

[SHRIEKING AND YELLING]

Get out!

You, drive!

Go!

Go, go, go, Mike!
Punch that shit! Punch it!

Kill the fucker!

Shit!

Move! Move!

- Don't lose her, Mike!
- This is what I do!

Aw, shit! Shit.

And definitely shoot that motherfucker
that just... Oh, man, my headlight.

Shoot back! Shoot back!
Shoot! Shoot!

Man, what the...?! What are...? What
were...? What are you doing, man?

- That's my bad.
- Shoot outside!

Pay attention to what you're doing.

MAN:
Let the car go!

Aw, these dudes is off the chain!

Jesus! Fuck!

- This is some sick shit!
- Yep, it's about to get sicker.

Watch out! Watch out!

Oh, sh...!

- Oh, they are not about to do that.
- Hell, yes, they are!

Go!

Oh!

- You see that?!
- They throwing cars! How can I not see?!

- Hey, Mike, I'm just trying to help, okay?!
- You know what'd be real helpful?

Just shut the fuck up
and let me drive! Let's try that!

Hey, come on, man,
with the screaming shit!

I'm trying to concentrate
on dodging these motherfuckers.

- Just relax.
- Oh!

[YELLING]

- That was a flip!
- That motherfucker flipped!

- That one puckered up my butthole.
- Almost fucking crushed my head.

The boat!

- Oh!
- Woo!

I lost them. Yeah, I've got your cargo
to the backup drop point.

OFFICER: Attention all units,
suspects still at large.

There she is.

What the fuck is going on, Syd?

Some desk you're driving.

Get over here, I'm undercover.
And please call off your dogs.

I got DEA watching my back,
so don't blow my case.

- We saved your life.
- Yeah, and I appreciate that.

But what I don't appreciate
is you two following me over here...

...nearly burning a case
that took five months to set up.

Oh, so now we lie to each other, huh?
Is that what we do?

What the hell do you want me
to do, Marcus?

- Look, Marcus...
- Fuck that, Mike, she's wrong.

Calm down. Relax.

Syd, are there drugs
in that truck?

- There's cash.
- Where's it going?

- I can't tell you that.
- Why not?

Because I have a career and if I
want to keep it, I have rules to follow.

What's that supposed to mean?

My orders are, under no circumstances
share information with Miami P.D...

- ...because they got too many leaks.
- Oh. I'm Miami P.D. now?

You done forgot
I'm your big brother, huh?

You know what, Syd,
that shit you did was reckless...

...it was stupid and it was
dangerous. Okay?

I'm telling Mommy. Okay?
I'm definitely leaking that shit.

Hey, Marcus...

Syd, come on, he got a point.

Your brother loves you.

And not to mention a little thing
called professional courtesy.

If you bouncing around in somebody's
back yard, you should let them know.

- First time using your gun?
- Mm-hm.

Hey, you handled yourself very well.

Too bad your partner didn't notice.

Thanks.

Think you getting off that easy?
Been working on this for five months?

How come you ain't tell me
while I was in New York?

- What would you have said?
- What? I would've just...

You know, I'd have let you know
this job is rugged, you know.

And it's dangerous. And if something
happened to you I might...

Exactly why I didn't say anything.

[TYRES SCREECHING]

[♪♪♪]

Somebody's stealing your money.

The drop's done. I gotta go.

[♪♪♪]

Thanks.

We gotta close this case
before it get her killed, man.

Yeah, no doubt.

You ready to go back to the station
and get our asses whupped?

I think we gonna be all right.

Fellas. What's your job description?

No, you two.
What is your job description?

I'll tell you. TNT:
Tactical Narcotics Team.

Keyword: "tactical."

"Displaying finesse and subtlety
in achieving a goal!"

Tell me, gentlemen, what was subtle
about your work today?

Twenty-two cars...

...and a boat, totalled?

How did you sink a boat?

We didn't sink it.

[GLASS BREAKING]

Whew. Ah.

Whoosah.

Whoosah.

All right, the positive.
Thank God no cops died.

The negative: I got a police
commissioner so far up my ass...

...if he spits it's coming
out of my mouth, but...

I know that there's always
two sides to a story.

So, what's yours?

Well, I was at a family barbecue.

We got a tip that the Zoepounders...

...were gonna do a hit on cash or drugs
from this big-time X-Man.

That's what they call
a ecstasy dealer on the streets.

Marcus, I know what they call them.

That's why I'm captain. It's cool.

So you got the drugs.

No drugs. Oh, okay. All right.
How about the money?

- No money.
- Nope.

Well, then who is this X-Man?

Captain, I was at a family
barbecue. So I...

We don't know,
but we are going to find out.

Well, then all that...

- ...was for nothing?
- Oh, we didn't do all of that.

If you look close... Watch.
Hold up. Let me s...

There's DEA all over.
Wait, the... Wait, hold up.

The D... The DEA?
Without consulting me?!

That's a DEA car right there.

Christ! Fuck!

Cap, no. Remember
your pressure points.

Do my... My exercises.

[CELL PHONE RINGS]

- Holler at your boy.
- Whoosah.

- Whoosah.
- Whoosah.

- Whoosah.
- Twenty-one thousand? What?!

Oh, kiss my black ass.

It was the dashboard.

- Ooh.
- Ooh.

- Better.
MIKE: You know what?

Yeah, you can get your money.

Yeah, somebody's
on they way with your money.

Captain, is it possible we could discuss
potential reimbursement...

Personal property's not covered.
That's why we drive police cars.

So where do we go from here?

The Zoepounders knew exactly when
to hit the drop, where to hit the drop...

...so we figure they know
where the cash is going.

We find the cash, we find the X-Man.

Hey, I'm through playing games,
all right? I have three cops critical.

I got kids dying on my streets
from souped-up X.

I do not want these animals
taking over my city.

Do you understand?

So I want you guys to do whatever
you do, whatever it takes, but do it now.

[♪♪♪]

It's not good, boss.

[RATS SQUEAKING]

TAPIA:
Oh, my God.

Fucking ratones
eating my fucking money.

Carlos, this is a stupid
fucking problem to have.

But it is a problem nonetheless.

Rat fuckers.

Rat fuckers.

[RAT SQUEAKS]

[SQUISHING SOUND]

Boss, it ended up crazy.

But this black chica working for the
Russians was a goddamn maniac lunatic.

She saved your money.

She wasted some Haitians
and got the load to the backup drop.

Also, Roberto saw these
two crazy gangbanger homeys.

- Oh, shit.
- Yeah. Chasing and shooting.

Old days, did I have this problem? No.

Just fly the drugs in
and ship the money out.

Now American security's
so goddamned tight over the water...

...and in the goddamn sky...

...that the rats eat my money
before I can get it to Cuba.

TV ANNOUNCER:
The chase ended in a fiery crash...

You see? I can't even get my money
across town without making the news.

Hey, man. Man.

Tell me, um...

...should I be worried?

- No, boss.
- Shut the fuck up.

People is trying to jack my loads
here in Miami.

I own this fucking town. You see?

This is my town.

[SPEAKS IN SPANISH]

Oh, my God. Pink.

Pink, niña, pink. Pink.
No powder blue.

Pink is prettier.

But the lady at the store
said I look like a model.

[SNORTS]

You're lucky your mother
was my mother's cousins.

Don't pay attention to Roberto.

[SPEAKS SPANISH]

Besides, models are filthy creatures.

You look more like an angel.

- What do you think, Carlos?
- Yes, of course.

- Roberto, what do you think?
- It's fucking beautiful.

Hey, talk polite in front
of my little bonbon...

...or I'm gonna chop your balls off.

Hey, dude, for real,
I'm straight with...

...all your spiritual enlightenment
and that shit.

But I need to know if a crackhead
roll up behind me...

...with a .9,
you gonna cook that fool.

No question about it.
Shoot him in the leg.

Come on with that leg shit.

- Everybody deserves a little dignity.
- What about my dignity?

Your crackhead gonna be missing
a kneecap. I'm gonna be in a body bag.

- So sad.
- What's so sad?

Your untreated control issues.

It's not your fault.

What in the hell
is that supposed to mean?

Your mama probably refused you her tit
when you were a baby.

You grew up a malnourished
high-school softie.

Got your gun, little tight T-shirt...

...and became
a overcompensating tough guy.

That is the last time you will ever
refer to my mother's titties.

I don't even want them
up in your head.

[♪♪♪]

You know, I said all that, Mike,
and all you heard was "titties."

Man, you can't keep suppressing
my spiritual growth, Mike.

Yeah, you need to suppress my mother's
titties out of your psychoanalysis.

You just remember one thing, my friend.
I may not always be here.

What's up, Icepick?

Jesus is the way, my brothers.
Step inside.

MIKE: You just went number one
on Uncle Mike's shit list.

MARCUS: We got two lousy bags.
- My brothers.

Haitian blond with dreads.
Where is he?

Blondie Dread? Uh-uh.

He's very expensive.

You and you have to do
something for me.

Oh, you trying to get gangster
on me like that?

- Yeah, he went gangster.
- So we should probably...

- So we want to do the... You got them?
- Yeah, sure.

Me and my partner, we're on
the Miami P.D. tandem dance team.

We got a routine. We won
all the local talent shows.

We thinking about going national.

Wait, you want to show him
some of the routine?

Ooh, warm it up.
Ooh, don't hurt nothing.

Check this... Yo, yo, watch this.

This is the shit right here.
This is the shit.

♪ It's your birthday ♪

♪ It's your birthday
It's your birthday ♪

♪ It's... ♪♪

Woo-hoo-hoo!

What you doing
to my shop, man?!

Watch this spin, watch this spin.

- Wait.
- Woo!

- What are you doing?!
MIKE: Oh, give me some.

You're ruining my shop. Stop!

- Do the dance thing.
- I'm gonna bring the house down.

- No, no!
- Woo!

Stop! Stop!

He lives in a pink house
eight blocks from here on Carl Street.

One...

- Police! Get down.
- Police!

[♪♪♪]

Who that? Who in my house?!

- I'm the devil, who's asking?!
- The devil is not welcome here!

You got to call yourself the devil
in his house?! Shit!

BLOND DREAD:
You're in my house!

MARCUS:
This is all your fault!

- You're in my country, though.
BLOND DREAD: Fuck you, how's that?

MAN: I'll kill you, motherfucker!
BLOND DREAD: Your country, my ass!

- Fuck you.
- Fuck me? Fuck you!

BLOND DREAD:
You no problem!

Mike, do you have
to be so combative?

- Fucking...!
- Yeah!

- You calling me a bitch?!
- Go on, yeah.

[SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]

Do or die, man!

A bullet in the head'll
really mess up your extensions.

BLOND DREAD: Take your
bullet and eat that shit, man.

MAN:
How about that?

BLOND DREAD:
What the fuck?

[SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]

Sir, we just want to talk.

You want to talk?!
Well, go ahead. Go ahead.

We're not Immigration.

They can't hear you because
they're still shooting at you.

Fucking Haitians in a fucking
little-ass room with fucking guns. Shit!

Got to make it home to
my babies. Damn, now.

[LAUGHING]

Motherfucker! You killed my brother!

That's a bitch!

Shoot them.
Fucking shoot them.

They shot me.
They got me, man. Yo!

[SPEAKS IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]

Got you.

[GASPS]

Oh, shit! Motherfucker!

They killed the boy!

They kill me!

They're killing everybody!

Motherfucker!

My eyes! Aah!

I'm gonna kill you, motherfucker!

[SCREAMING]

Come. Come kill me, motherfucker.

Come. You don't take me alive.

You got three seconds
to drop your weapon!

I got a present for you!

- A nice present for you!
- One!

- Two!
- I'm gonna kill you.

Okay, don't shoot. Don't shoot, man.
Don't shoot. Don't kill me.

[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

- Bullets and all... Excuse me.
- You all right, man?

[GRUNTS]

Apologise to that man.
Apologise to that man.

Apologise! Apologise.

Hey, listen, I owe you...

It's just that, you know,
you was disrespect...

But that don't mean it give me
the right, though. It don't.

Excuse me. Whoosah. Whoosah.
Whoosah, motherfucker!

[KICKING SOUND]

[BLOND DREAD GRUNTING]

See, the interesting thing is
he's the one of us that's not pissed off.

I don't know nothing.

Whoa! I didn't ask
you no question yet!

- I don't know nothing.
- You lying already?

- No, get...
- How'd you know about the drop?

- I don't know nothing!
- Stop lying! Stop lying!

Do you know anything?

I'm gonna be nice about it.
Do you know anything?

Now, let's ask some other suspects.

Hey, look, man, fuck it.

No, let's try this, okay?
Let's talk to his homeys.

Hey, look here, man.

Can you tell me who was driving
the black Suburban, huh?

Oh, he don't know nothing.
His brains is under the end table.

Oh, sh...

He can't tell us shit, Mike.

- He's all fucked up.
- What's your point?

Dead suspects can't say shit.

It seems like live suspects
don't say shit either.

So I'm gonna go ahead
and hot this dude right here.

- Save us the paperwork.
- I don't know nothing!

I don't do no motherfucking surveillance,
man. He do surveillance, man.

He don't let nobody touch his camera.

- What's on that camera?
- Trigger Mike strikes again.

MAN: Hi, welcome to Phat's.
How can I help you?

- Miami P.D.
- Whoa. Cops. I love that show.

- We need to see what's on this video.
- Absolutely, here we go.

You got a little bullet hole in there,
you know? You guys tell me about it?

Guess not, okay. All right,
we'll put this in our central floor model.

It's got kick-ass bass. You guys
like hip-hop? I love hip-hop.

Sometimes we freestyle in the break
room. You guys want to kick it, we'll flow.

All right, we're gonna set you up
on the wide-screen. Correct ratio.

There you go.

"Spanish Palms Mortuary."

Why would they be doing surveillance
at a funeral home?

I don't know. Is that a Cuban flag?

Ah, ah, right there. See the gun?

Never knew the guards at funeral homes
needed to carry them kind of weapons.

[MOANING]

MAN: It just seems like we should turn
it off, you know...

...because my dad owns the store.

She got a tongue ring.

- This is like a porno. We're not...
- Dude. Dude.

- All right?
- Yeah.

Okay. Okay.

It's just, you know,
my dad's gonna be...

Um, I just need to... I think I...

- I think I screwed this up.
MIKE: Relax. Relax.

It's just that my dad's gonna...
This is like a porno.

MAN:
Oh, yeah. I want more.

- Okay.
- This is official police business.

- What the fuck's going on here?
DAD: Out of my way.

My dad is coming. My dad is coming.
My dad is coming.

What the hell is going on
in my store?

Son, how did this porno crap
get on my videos in my store?!

What the hell is going on in here?!

- You all right?
- No, I'm not all right, Mike.

Three days of this shit.
Got my nerves all rattled.

My ass still hurts...

...from what you did to it
the other night.

Oh, my Lord.

Yeah, it got rough.

You know?

I mean, we got caught up
in the moment, shit got crazy.

- You know how I get.
- Yeah.

When you popped me from behind,
I think you damaged some nerves.

Okay.

Now, I can't...

I can't... Now, I can't...

- Can't what?
- I can't even get an erection.

What's an erection?

I tried taking Viagra,
you know, pop one, pop two.

Been eating them like Skittles.

That poor man
is pouring out his heart.

And I'm still flaccid.

Um, okay. I'm comfortable
talking to you...

It's got 5.1 Dolby.

...about what I did to your ass...

...but you not getting an erection?

That's a real problem for me.

- I just figured I could talk to you.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no.

We're... We partners,
but we are partners with boundaries.

Um, we got a new rule.

From now on you can't say
the word "flaccid" to me.

He's a mean fuck.

Look here.
This is our little boundary box.

So we gonna take the word "flaccid"...

...and we're gonna put it in there
with my mom's titties...

...with your erection problems,
and we're gonna close this box...

...and we're gonna
throw this bitch in the ocean.

And the only way that
you can get to this box...

...is you got to be
motherfucking Jacques Cousteau.

We cool?

No.

Oh, shit.

We gotta go.

In front of my babies you got porno
and homo shows up in here?

What kind of freak-ass
store is this? Mm.

And you two motherfuckers
need Jesus.

Cover your ears, baby.

FLETCHER: Palm Mortuary, owned
by an offshore holding company...

...which, after 17 layers of bullshit...

...turns out to be registered
to Donna Maria Tapia...

...mother of Hector Juan Carlos Tapia,
who calls himself Johnny.

Johnny Tapia. Shit.

Looks like every time
the P.D. goes after him...

...he sues for wrongful arrest.
And, oh, does he win.

Look, last year he was
awarded $9 million.

And got a dozen dumb-ass officers
like you fired.

MIKE:
Well, he hasn't run across us yet.

We sure would like to hear
what's going on in that house.

Yeah, use your computer brain
and tap the phone.

Um, well, that happens to be
highly illegal without a judge.

Um, we were thinking of something more
along the lines of a training operation.

No, no, no, I can't do that.

- Get you tickets to the Heat game.
- I need floor seats.

With them thick-ass glasses,
you don't need floor seats.

- Look, Marcus...
- The man can see from the parking lot.

I can't work under these conditions.

All right. Okay, floor seats
to the Heat. You got it.

- Lakers.
- Yes, Lakers.

Okay. Watch me work.

[♪♪♪]

[VOICES SPEAKING SPANISH
OVER COMPUTER]

MAN:
Hello? Is this the pest control?

Yeah. We got a fucking problem.

You know where we live.

- Yeah, South Miami.
MIKE: We got it.

Got our way in.

- Illegally?
- You got to put a word to it.

It's like, secret.

So y'all want to kill roaches?

Illegal.

Look, we're gonna go in, plant a couple
gypsy wires, find out what Tapia's up to.

These are your basic household bugs.

Dog, this is what we do.

- What's the sprayers for?
- The roaches.

- Roaches? We got rats.
- Say what?

That's not gonna be an issue.
We can handle that.

We'll just have to slightly adjust
our approach a little bit.

Nope. Nope, nope.
I don't mess with no rats.

Hey. Stop it.

- We're in. Get your head right.
- Mike, I'm a grown-ass man.

Get your grown-ass self together
and let's do this.

MIKE: This is a beautiful house
you got, sir.

ROBERTO:
Well, start looking.

They're all over.

[SQUEAKING]

- Whoa!
- What? What?

Oh, uh...

Those ain't normal rats.

What he means is that
they're obviously a special breed.

- What kind of breed are they?
- Big motherfuckers.

Taking care of these rats
is not gonna be a problem.

We'll need to make sure they're not
breeding in other sections of the house.

Yeah, at Zook we like to work
from the outside in, you know.

So we gonna leave these...
Excuse me.

We gonna leave these here
and send in a special unit.

It probably would be better
if we begin in the rest of the house.

You're not getting in
the rest of the house.

Sir, we're not gonna be able
to guarantee our work.

Listen, the only thing
that we can guarantee...

...is that these rats
are gonna keep fucking.

You know, giving off offspring
until we find the colony.

Rats don't got no stinking colony.

Well, actually these are colonial rats.

What they do is they send out
worker rats that are called, um...

Marsupials.

Marsupials.

These drones, they're explorers
of the rat world, you know.

They just looking for rat pussy.

- You know.
- Are you fucking with me?

Whoa, hold on. You called us.
We can leave.

But what you should understand is that
these rats are gonna hump twice a day.

All right. Down there.
Just kill them and bring me the bill.

That's that bullshit.
That's that bullshit right there.

- You see these rats?
- Plant your wires.

- You're not leaving me with these rats.
- Plant your wires.

Hey!

Gentlemen. Alexei, Josef.

Oh, I really like that word,
Johnny. "Gentlemen."

I'm just trying being civil.
This is business, we can all relax.

- Alexei, would you like a good Cohiba?
- Why not?

Of course. And you? Hey, Josef.

I'm told you are quite
a wine connoisseur.

I am.

Carlos, have Josef
pick a good wine from the cellar...

...and Alexei and I will have a cigar.
Come on.

[SPEAKS SPANISH]

[SPEAKS SPANISH]

Where the fuck you going?

Uh, pretty bad problem
you got up here.

I'm gonna head down to the truck,
get some poison pellets and stuff.

Come straight back.
No screwing around.

Okay.

[CRASHING]

They're all over.

Nice place you got here.

It's Mama's. And it's a shithole.
Built a fucking million years ago.

- Expensive shithole, eh?
- Oh, no.

My new place,
the one I'm building in Cuba.

[SPEAKS IN SPANISH]

Almost finished. Everything
fucking shiny new. Come on upstairs.

[PANTING]

Oh, shit.

Oh, shit! Look at the balls
on that motherfucker.

[♪♪♪]

Aah!

Roberto...

...the camera's out
in the general's office.

Everything in this house is broken.

My wire's planted.

- How about yours?
- Almost got three wires planted.

Mike!

There's a papa rat humping
the shit out of this mama rat.

No, he's straight pile-driving her!

Now, how is that information
gonna help me do my job?

They fuck just like us.

Where's the pest guy?

There's something going on
down here.

[♪♪♪]

Goddamn rats.

Yeah, they everywhere.
Just like cockroaches.

No disrespect...

...but I do not wish to talk business
until my partner return.

It's baffling.
You two decide behind my back...

...you want to pay me less money
and you talk about respect?

Let's wait for Josef.
You know, me and digits.

Carlos, could you
please bring Josef in?

[SPEAKS SPANISH]

So...

Your partner is here.

Would you like to talk now?

Carlos, another box.

So you sign over ownership papers...

...for all the Florida clubs you own...

...and I will control everything,
from point of origin to sale. Okay?

No middleman.
Especially Russian middleman.

With all due respect, Mr. Tapia...

...in my country,
I see such things all the time.

I'm sorry for your country.

There's gotta be some Cuban stupid
tradition to put them in a tortilla bin.

Now, listen to me, you Russian punk.

I, me, Johnny Tapia,
will sever your head off!

You kill me and you
will have a shit-storm.

Should I screw your young wife...

...or visit your son, the soccer player?

My daughter knows your son.

- You're gonna regret this.
- I hope that we can remain friends.

Because at the end, what else do
we have but friendship, trust, honour.

Without this, we are
no more than beasts.

The kitchen monitor's out.

What the hell's going on out there?

Shit.

I found something.

It's a guy's finger.

What, did the rats eat the rest of him?

- What the fuck are you doing?
- Oh, hey, I was just looking for you.

I think I figured out
what your problem is.

Y'all a bunch of filthy motherfuckers.

[SPEAKS SPANISH]

- Blow out! Blow out!
- What's going on?

MIKE: Get out of the house!
Blow out! Blow out!

[♪♪♪]

This shit's got to stop.

[SPEAKS SPANISH]

Fuck!

We should go.

Go! Go!

Just another day with Mike Lowrey.

- Damn! Go!
- Come on!

CARLOS: Roberto thinks
they were the gangbangers...

...that tried to hijack the drop, boss.

How did this thing happen?

I don't know. We called the rat people
and these guys showed up.

Maybe you're the rat, huh?

They tried to steal from me, and
you let them into my mother's house.

Johnny. Hey, no.

I would never.

Nobody puts in danger
my daughter, my mother...

...or my money.

Send him to the mortuary.

Johnny. Johnny,
what happened to Roberto?

He killed himself, Mama.

[SPEAKING SPANISH]

Very sad.

Make sure and write a nice letter
to his mother.

I'll do it.

Okay. Bye.

MIKE: Yo, run the print.
- Mike, stop playing, man!

- Run the print.
- Don't touch me...

...with no fucking dead
finger. I'm serious.

Excuse me, run this print.
I need to find the owner.

Thank you.

Fletcher, think you can find out
what's on these shreds?

Of course.

[SPEAKS SPANISH]

Listen, we're thinking about
ordering a little bit of lunch.

Should we put you down
for a bucket of extra crispy...

...and a couple of grape sodas?

[IN SPANISH ACCENT]
"Couple of grape sodas."

That's very funny. That's hilarious.

- [IN NORMAL VOICE] Isn't it low tide?
- You know, I think it is.

Don't you have some relatives
to pick up?

- What?
- Yo, now you crossed the line, man.

Okay, no, that's not funny, now.

We're fucking with you. Look, we planted
wires, we need some help. No bullshit.

I want you...

...to find out...

...who those two black
puta de mierda are.

And I want them lying right here...

...in Mama's garden in these coffins!

And our mystery finger belongs to:
Josef Kuninskavich.

Oh, man, this dude
was a lieutenant in a Russian mob.

Owned a couple dozen
Florida nightclubs.

Tapia's starting to knock off
Russian mob bosses.

FLETCHER:
Got something.

What you got, dickhead?

FLETCHER: The computer matches
half tones, grey tones, densities.

Sort of like a visual code-breaking.

Little something I put together.

The shredded papers you found
was a photograph.

Some kind of boat. "Dixie 7."

Dixie 7.

It's registered to a one Floyd Poteet.

The Poteet brothers.

One of the KKK guys we busted.
You blew his ear off, remember?

Mike, can you teach me
how to shoot people?

MARCO:
Listen to what we got at Tapia's.

[VOICES SPEAKING SPANISH
OVER TAPE RECORDER]

MATEO: This is the second-in-command
now talking.

He's telling him, "Yes, boss.
We found a bunch of fat doe fuckers...

- ...and we're getting them emptied."
- Fat does emptied?

- The hell does that mean?
- He has a meeting this afternoon.

TAPIA: You know who I am?
SYD: Name sounds familiar.

TAPIA:
Sense of humour. I like that.

Meet me on the sand,
2:00, Shore Club.

- She has no idea. Let's roll.
- Y'all come with us.

[♪♪♪]

I ordered us a couple
of Bacardi Mojitos.

[SPEAKS SPANISH]

Miami.

Okay, zoom in on nine.
A little more audio, please.

So why don't we take
a swim? Cool off.

Or we could just stay here
and get drunk. How about that?

Or we could drink this later.

Unless you have a reason...

...why you don't want to get
that beautiful body of yours wet.

Why don't you just ask me
if I'm wearing a wire?

I'd rather go swimming.

Hm.

- What the hell's he doing?
MAN: Son of a bitch.

Shit. He's taking her into the water.

This guy's smart.

I want you to work for me, okay?

Why waste time
on this unnecessary conversation?

It's very unnecessary. What
do you need with another banker?

For the same reason
as your previous employer.

But now I own all the Russian clubs.
No middleman.

You know, I'm about to be
the biggest importer...

...and distributor of X in North America.

You're gonna be a very rich young
woman. That's why I thought...

I know what you thought, Mr. Tapia.

As long as you don't think it
more than once...

...I'm happy to be
in business with you.

All right.

Let's do business.

♪ Let me see you take it low
Girl, go and take it low ♪

♪ We can even do it slow
We can even do it slow ♪

♪ Take it where you want to go
Take it where you want to go ♪

♪ Just take that ass to the floor ♪♪

What are you, a cop or a model?

What you talking about, man? I threw
something on. I like looking good. What?

For who?

Hey, don't hate the player.
Hate the game.

I hate the tailor.

Good job. We'll get him.

Your brother would love
to talk to you down the street.

Whoa, what's going on?

You guys trying to blow my case
or you just insane?

You're the one taking a little dip
with the Cubano maniac.

- How'd you know that?
- We had a wire in the house.

- You two have a warrant for that wire?
- Look, fuck that, okay?

You don't know the kind of
danger that you're in, Syd.

I am fully aware and I am fully capable
of what I am doing.

Marcus, I am not
your baby sister anymore.

For the DEA, you ain't nothing
but a honeypot.

What'd you just say?

Look, that's why you got the job,
because you look good in a bathing suit.

All right, let's sit down somewhere.

All right, look, Syd,
there's some shit you need to know.

Johnny Tapia is cutting up Russian
mob bosses in his mom's kitchen.

MARCUS:
In the kitchen, Syd.

He found a severed finger
by the crock pot.

You're about to be
in the middle of a drug war.

No disrespect, but Miami P.D...

...has arrested this guy 12 times
with no convictions.

Why don't you guys just hang back
and let us bring him down?

Guys, look, I need this, okay?
And I am this close.

What's "this close"?

I'm now in charge of money laundering
for his entire operation.

In a month or two we'll have enough for
a conviction. This whole thing'll be over.

What about a day or two?
That sound better?

Marcus and I think we found
the key to Tapia's whole operation.

You have nothing to say now, huh?

- Just stuck, right?
- Okay, time-out, y'all. Damn.

We got this peckerwood
that's gonna put us down...

...with the transport end of Tapia's
operation. Do you want in?

- Mike, why would you...?
- When?

MIKE: Tonight.
- Page me.

Should I bring my thong?

Get your bitch hands off.
I'll knock you the fuck out.

Mike, we're trying to keep
her out of trouble, man...

...not invite her in.

Man, I just figured,
you know, if she with us...

...that's just less trouble
she could get into.

I'm gonna keep it real with you too, man.
I think she can handle herself.

I'm gonna keep it real with you. Don't
nobody know my sister the way I do.

Okay? She doesn't make
good choices, Mike.

- She's not street-smart.
- Doesn't make good...?

- Like, what kind of choices?
- Men, for one.

She's attracted to these dumb...

...flashy, just musclebound
dickheads, Mike. You know?

Cock diesel motherfuckers that can't
even fucking turn to wipe their ass, Mike.

- You feel me?
- Yeah.

You know? Just dumb
as a bucket of shrimp.

Yeah. Yeah. That shit's crazy.

I mean, you know,
you don't think maybe you...

Maybe you didn't, like,
get a chance to know any of them?

I'm gonna give the next one a chance.

A chance to whup his ass.

Whup the shit out of him, Mike.

Oh, you gonna...
Oh, you gonna fight him.

What I'm gonna do
ain't even gonna be legal.

I might be up in here
with these motherfuckers.

Do you know what I mean?

The fuck you looking at?

Thank you kindly.

- Who sprung me?
- Hey, Cousin Floyd.

- Oh, you.
- Remember me?

[♪♪♪]

Ow!

MIKE:
Cheese.

Aw, y'all look great together.

- What the fuck you doing?
- Just a little insurance.

You gonna help us find Dixie 7...

...and let us know what that boat
has to do with Johnny Tapia.

- I ain't no snitch.
- Oh, you ain't no snitch?

- Oh, damn. That's a shame.
- Know what I'm gonna do?

I'm gonna send a special 8 x 10
to his KKK buddies back in jail.

You know what,
it's a digital photo too.

So we can pretty much do
whatever we want to do with it.

By the time we get done with you...

...you gonna be in the next
Busta Rhymes video on BET.

MARCUS:
Tuck ass.

I got my rights.

I'm worried. There's too much heat
around in Miami.

I can feel it. I can feel it.

We need to put my money
in coffins to Cuba faster.

You should tell the mortuary
to speed things up. All right?

[♪♪♪]

That's the channel marker
way out there.

They make the drop mostly at dawn,
but there'll be one today, though.

Syd, you talk to Mama?
She's got hives.

Oh, and I told Mama
about your Cubano boyfriend.

He ain't invited to Christmas dinner.

Change the station.
More music, less Marcus.

If you open the door, he'll be a black
Dr. Phil for the next 40 minutes.

Syd, you might not want
to get too flirty with Mike.

Your boyfriend might
cut off his trigger finger.

Maybe Mike's been flirting with me.
Did you ever think about that?

Ooh. Mm-mm. Mm-mm.

Ha! Trigger Mike?

MIKE:
Not like this. Don't play with that boy.

- Seriously. Don't play with that boy.
- Just tell him about New York.

- Do it.
- Tell me what?

MIKE: Oh, shit. Is he
walking down the steps?

Oh, shit. He coming down.

- It's okay.
- Yeah, you done fucked up.

You done fucked up.

Um, you remember...

Remember I went to New York?
You remember?

And...

I said, "Syd."

I ran in...

Syd ran into me in New York
on the street in that place.

And I said:

"What's up?"

And we was hungry, so then...

...she had fish.

It was grouper.

And then I had some chicken.

Remember I was supposed
to come home? But I didn't.

We went out on a date.

Five, actually.
Now we're seeing each other.

Hold up.

You know, really out of respect for you,
Marcus, you know, nothing happened.

Hey, Mike, why you tripping, man?

I mean, we wanted to make sure
you was cool with it.

Doesn't matter what I think, you know.
Hey, I had to find out like this, right?

Don't matter.

Let me ask you a question, y'all gonna
have babies? Little bunch of mini Mikes?

Huh? Bunch of little lying,
violent motherfuckers?

Marcus, nothing happened.

I just want to say,
Mama's gonna be thrilled.

MIKE: You know what,
you need to go ahead...

...and "whoosah" or something
for a second.

FLOYD:
Hey, hey, here comes the Dixie 7.

Whoosah.

- Mike, just leave it alone.
- Why you acting like that?

Hey, Mike. Go on about
your business, man.

- Wait, no. We gonna talk about this.
- No. Get the fuck out of my face.

- I'm trying to talk to you.
- Get the fuck off me, Mike.

What the hell is your problem, man?!
Why you acting so stupid?!

This is a dysfunctional partnership.
That's why the fuck I'm acting like that.

- All right...
- There ain't no trust, Mike.

I didn't lie to you!

I was waiting for the right time to tell
you. But that ain't what your issue is.

Why don't you bring it to me real.
What is your problem with this?!

You know what? You a dog, man.

- That's it. There it is. I said it.
- Oh, okay.

You like a pit bull with that
little pink thing hanging out, Mike.

Oh, it's like that. Oh, okay.

I'm not good enough for your sister.

Guys, enough. The boat's coming.

Okay. We gonna handle that shit.
Go ahead, man.

In about an hour,
the drop boat's gonna come.

[♪♪♪]

We got them.

Wonder what mortuary
that coffin's going to.

Keep going straight by.

You seeing what I'm seeing?

Get the load to the mortuary
and don't screw up.

I got it.

Load up.

They're getting away!

MARCUS:
Stop! Stop!

We need your car. All right?

Get out the car.

Can you not get
a better car than that?

Let that man go!

Don't be coming at me
with that tone, Mike.

Freak.

MARCUS: Small cars don't fuck up
the ozone layer.

That's what I'm talking about.

- Stop the car.
- Get... Yeah.

- Police. Pop the trunk. Get out. Get in.
MIKE: Get out. Get out.

MARCUS: Get your ass in.
FLOYD: Okay.

- I am in the middle of a sale.
- Do I have to pull my gun?

Oh, shit. Dan Marino. What's up?
Back up, Dan. Hey, you're the truth.

- Whatever you need, officers.
MIKE: Marcus, that's Dan Marino.

- Hey. Back up.
- Let me know how it rides.

Oh, he's gonna test-drive
the shit out this.

Go, go. I don't want
to blow my cover.

Got them. Got them right there.

[♪♪♪]

Mike, why do you gotta get so close?

MIKE:
I won't let that coffin get away.

But they're all around us, man.

Shit, those are the gangbangers.

Relax, they don't know us.

Yeah, boss, we got a problem here.
We're being followed.

- This is a big problem, Carlos.
- Sorry, boss. I'll take care of it, okay?

You kill those black bitches. All right?!

Shit, I think they made us.
Get some undercovers to roll with us.

Okay, we're splitting up.
Everybody go to Third and Boxter, now!

Here we go.

I didn't sign up
for no goddamned car chase!

Woo!

Have you lost your mind?

Mike, I see you got your mind set on
doing dumb shit, so please let me out!

I seen this in a movie once.
They didn't make it!

Mike!

Oh, shit!

- Dump truck! Whoa!
- I got it. I got it.

- Mike, don't!
- I'm fine. I'm fine.

Whoa! Woo-hoo!

Whoa! Whoa, baby!

Right there! Oh, shit, Mike!

- Did you see that shit?
- No shit.

Dan Marino should
definitely buy this car.

Not this one. I'm gonna fuck this one up.
But he should definitely get one like this.

I almost missed that.
I almost missed that.

Woo! All right, that was almost
fucked up. I almost fucked up.

Shit!

This is not necessary.

Oh, shit!

- Damn!
- Dead man on the hood! Dead man!

- I'm trying. I'm trying to get it off.
- Get it off!

- That shit is nasty.
- Just get it off! Get that...

That shit is nasty.

- Undercover-police! Everybody move!
- Undercover-police!

- Move!
- Move! Move! Move!

Oh!

Coming around the corner now!

Get ready, they're coming
around the block. Move!

Up top!

Shit!

Shit!

Boy, if this was my car,
I'd be pissed!

Get down! Get down!

Are you trying to break the world record
for gun fights in a week?

This is not the time to criticise!

I can't work with you
blaming shit on me all the time!

This is not your fault?
Not your fault?

- This is not... No! No!
- Huh?

Bullshit, Mike!
Everything's your fault!

Okay, let's go! Let's go!

[SCREAMING]

- Clear room!
- Cool!

I'm going around!

- Mike, got him!
- They got the coffin.

Move!

Move! Move! Get down!
Police! Get down!

Move! Move!

Police! Move! Move!

Get out of my way! Move! Move!

Get down! Get down!

Shit! Open the door! Police!

No!

Whoa! Shit!

Mike! Mike!

[PASSENGERS SCREAMING]

That boy bit me!

Mike!

Move! Move!

Police! Move!

[SQUISHING SOUND]

Police! Move!

He under there?

We lost the coffin...

...and you barbecued
our only lead, Mike.

This has got to be the worst,
most emotional cop week of my life.

Yeah, it's been a little rough.

[SIRENS WAILING]

- Where were these bodies going?
- I don't know. It's really strange.

All the John Does
we found out here are empty.

Empty Does. Fat Does.

They cut them open, took the organs
out. Sewed them back up.

MATEO:
Nice work.

The more you guys fuck up,
the more we look like rock stars, baby.

The van you was chasing
is a transport for the city morgue.

These John Does were being
delivered...

...to the university
for medical research.

- Nice going.
- I can't believe you guys.

Do you both wake up in the morning,
call each other up?

"Good morning, Marcus."
"Morning, Mike."

"How you doing?" "A'ight."

"So how are we gonna
fuck up the captain's life today?"

"Gee, I don't know." "I don't know."

"Ooh. Look, over there.

Let's kill three fat people
and leave them on the street."

Hey, they were dead
before we ran over them.

It doesn't matter whether
they were dead or not, goddamn it!

Every time you leave
a corpse on the street...

...I have to get these forensic coroner
guys to come in to see what happened.

Then I gotta get detectives.
See? They're detecting shit.

Then I gotta get these forensic guys
to stick them back in the fucking bag!

Jesus Christ!

You guys, you're like...

You're like a bunch
of bloodsucking ticks...

...draining the life's blood
out of this department.

- Whoosah.
- Damn the whoosah, captain.

- Did you just call me a tick?
- I was referring to him.

- Thought so.
- These aren't normal corpses.

If I threw you out of
a speeding ice truck...

...and then ran over your head,
you wouldn't be normal either.

Think about this for one second. All of
these bodies have been emptied out...

...from a drug smuggler that
just happens to own a mortuary.

And I got a bunch of bodies hanging
around with plenty of room in them...

...I could smuggle some shit.

- Johnny Tapia has the perfect cover.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Johnny Tapia?

Yes, and I want a warrant to go
into his mortuaries immediately.

No warrant. No warrant.
What? For what? For what?

For a bunch of dead guys
on their way to med research?

No. Every time we go after him,
he sues us and wins.

This shit stops now or they'll fire us,
disband TNT...

...and stick me in a fucking coffin.

This is over now!

What happened to
"whatever it takes"?

That was pre-vehicular manslaughter.
Not to mention Johnny Tapia...

[BANGING]

- What the fuck is that?
- Oh, shit.

[GASPING]

Shut up. Shut up.
Shut up. Shut up.

This man has violated my rights!

Who the fuck is that?

See? I mean, running people over
is not enough for you?

Now you're into kidnapping?

Captain, that man is a criminal.
Okay? We busted him at the...

Excuse me, I have so
much brass up my ass...

...I could be playing
"The Star-Spangled Banner."

I ain't cut out for this, man.

Oh, come on, man.
I can't do this with you right now.

- I'm re-evaluating what's important.
- About what? Being a cop?

No, about you being my partner.

Is this about Syd? God!
Hey, Marcus, man...

That was messed up, but that
ain't what this is about, Mike.

Once we nail Tapia,
you and me, we're over.

I already signed my transfer papers.

Megan, what's the name of this boy
taking you to the movies?

Reggie.

And, Daddy, please don't embarrass me
and ask him a lot of questions.

Everybody knows you're a cop,
and it makes people nervous.

Well, why nervous? He on crack?

[DOORBELL RINGS]

- It's cool?
- Yeah. Come in.

What'd you...?

I got a sneak and peek.

Judge Sinclair said we can
go into the mortuary tonight.

We can't touch nothing,
but if we find something...

...he said he'll give us
a righteous warrant.

You love pissing Captain
Howard off, don't you?

Hey, it's what I do.

So when you start playing golf?

Hey, so you real serious
about this transfer thing, huh?

I mean, you been quitting for 10 years.
I just always thought it was, you know...

...how you dealt with all this shit.

It's what's best for me and my family.

Look, I'm gonna get my stuff, man.

Mm.

"We ride together, we die together.

Bad boys for life."

[DOORBELL RINGS]

MARCUS:
We getting old, Mike.

One of them young punks coming
to take my baby out on her first date.

- Who the fuck are you?
- Hi, Mr. Burnett. I'm Reggie.

- What you doing here?
- I came to take out Megan.

- What?!
- I came to take out Megan.

- How old are you?
- I'm 15, Mr. Burnett.

Motherfucker, you look 30.

- Show me some ID.
- I don't have none on me.

You don't have no ID.
Get your ass up against that wall.

What the fuck your problem?

You think you know it all.
Little young Thundercats.

- You got joints on you?
- No.

- You smoke that shit?
- No, sir.

You trying to get my daughter high?
Do you smoke that shit?

- Nigga, who that is at the door?
MARCUS: It's Reggie.

- Who the fuck is Reggie?
- Came to take Megan out.

- What you want, nigga?
- I'm here to take his daughter out.

- What's your name?
- Reggie.

I heard the motherfucker
say your name Reggie.

- You want to take Megan out?
- Yes, sir.

- How old is you?
- Fifteen.

- Shit, nigga, you at least 30.
- This is Mike.

- Can you fight?
- Yeah.

You can fight? Motherfucker.
You can't fight. Look at you...

- Mike, Mike. Cut it out.
- I want to know if...

When somebody gonna take my niece
out, I want to know if the nigga can fight.

Somebody might come say something,
the nigga can't fight, she can't go.

This is Megan's godfather, okay?
He just got out the joint, okay?

Why you putting all
my business in the street?

They call him...

I just got out of jail,
and I ain't going back!

I ain't going back!

What's wrong? You acting all scared.
You ain't never seen a gun before?

Mike, stop pointing
the gun at the boy.

Nigga, look, don't you
disrespect me in front of company.

MARCUS:
All right, let the gun go off.

Nigga, you a big old tall, Ludacris-looking
motherfucker, ain't you?

- You rap?
- No.

[RAPPING]
♪ Move, nigga, get out the way ♪

♪ If I see you on the highway
Get the fuck out of my way ♪♪

MARCUS:
Hey, Mike!

Now, listen. Have my
daughter home at 10:01.

If she ain't home at 10:01,
I'm in the car, okay?

Lock, loaded and hunting
your motherfucking ass down.

- Do you hear me? Speak the fuck up.
- And I'm going with him.

If I'm there, know what it's gonna be?
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, nigga.

- That's what it'll be.
THERESA: Marcus!

Oh, Reggie, baby, I am so sorry. Please
forgive Megan's dad and his silly friend.

- You a virgin?
- Yes.

All right, keep it that way.
Ain't gonna be no fucking tonight.

Baby, the red shirt's nice. I like that.
You guys have a good time.

- You ever made love to a man?
- No.

- You want to?
- No, sir.

- Hey, have a good time, baby.
MEGAN: Go. Go.

- All right.
MEGAN: You need to go.

MARCUS:
That was cool.

So you ready to bust
this case open?

Oh, yeah. Let's finish strong.
All right?

[♪♪♪]

All right, ladies. We cannot
take a burn tonight or Tapia walks.

I need a good, clean break-in.

- Zank, eyeball.
- Eyeball set.

- Dex, high ground.
- Rooftop set.

- Fanuti, light your crack pipe.
- Got you.

Lockman, you buzzing?

We're up, baby.

[DOORBELL BUZZES]

- Hello, anybody home?!
- We got a stiff to deliver!

Whoa, whoa.
What's going on here, man?

We got a stiff to deliver.

Nobody told me about any stiff.

No, no. The guy's in
the van now. He's fresh.

There's no deliveries tonight.

They told us to come right over
to the place. This... This is the place.

My friend, we gotta bring
him in here.

You're not bringing no one in.

You guys get that body
to the morgue yet?

Morgue? You said to get it
to the Spanish Palms Mortuary.

No, you dumb Latin fuck.

What are you smoking
in that crack pipe?

Hey, who you calling
a Latin fuck, man?

Check.

There's burnt people down here, Mike.

Oh, fuck.

Damn, somebody's teeth.

Now that we're here, we're gonna
need you to sign some paperwork...

...because the man
is very contagious...

...and his contagiousness
could touch you.

You guys have a nice evening.
Good night.

Might you see us inside
for some hot cocoa?

[THUNDER RUMBLING]

[THUNDER CRASHING]

Cam one, I got a good signal.
Cam two, I got a good signal.

- Oh. Oh!
- Hey, hey, hey.

- Damn!
- Stop it. Do not do that tonight.

- You don't smell that?
- Oh, yeah, I smell it.

- It stinks.
- Stop!

I'm gonna have some Pepto.

- This dude hasn't been embalmed yet.
- What the hell you talking about?

What they do,
they stick a tube down your throat...

...and they just suck out
all the gunk and bile.

Because what happens is, your body'll
get gaseous and you'll decompose.

They don't want that shit to happen
before your family see you.

Mike, I really don't need
to know that right now.

They sew your mouth closed.

They got to get it all out because
a lot of times dead people'll fart.

That shit'll clear a funeral home out.

How do you know all that?

Oh, Learning Channel, man.
That shit got me.

Oh, shit.

[GROANS]

You're not even
gonna warm up to it?

Hey! Do some cop work.

- He's a human being.
- Check the casket.

Why don't you check his spine
while you're in there?

I'm retching.

Mike!

- What?
- Have some dignity.

- I ain't doing nothing.
- Cover her titties up.

Like, what am I gonna do
with these big-ass, dead titties?

But you're looking, though.

There's... Something's
wrong with your brain.

Just cover the titties.

Goddamn!

Damn. This nicer than some cribs.

She's going to Cuba.

[MARCUS LAUGHING]

Who's top cop now? Huh?

That's what I'm talking about.
See? There you go.

That's it right there. Take a picture
of the money, then check this body.

What? Nah, I'm gonna
count these. You know?

Check the body.

I'm gonna check the body, Mike.
I'm not rushing into it, that's all.

This one's going
to a mortuary in L.A.

I'm gonna check this one.

[GAGGING]

That's that bullshit
that I be talking about.

Mike, the motherfucking head fell off.

Come here.

I'm... I'm... I'm back
in the game. Woo!

You know? Think I got something.

Feels like a bag.

Shit, no, it's his kidney.

[MARCUS RETCHING]

I smell dead people.

Drugs and money.
We got him, baby.

[PANTING]

Aw, this dude is loaded.

Bet he thinks he's a damn genius,
transporting them in dead bodies, huh?

Let's get this body.

Mike, you got company, man.

Somebody's coming.
Hide! Give me the X. Give me the X.

You gotta stall them. Stall them.

[ALARMS SOUNDING]

Hide! Hide! Hide!

Shit!

Punk kids do this? Go check it out.

- Hide!
- Oh!

MIKE: Marcus! Why would you...?
That's just not smart, man.

You tell Theresa, I'll kill you.

MAN:
Bimbo's next.

Oh, God. Not that. Not the bimbo.

Let's hurry this shit up.

Shit.

We got a big problem.
We got a big, big problem.

Drive that ambulance
into the building right now.

Crash it into the building!

No, no. Oh, not me, baby.

I got too many crashes
on my file. You do it.

You're kidding. I got red-flagged by the
administration last month for the thing.

You know how much the city
had to pay.

No way, man,
I can't have another ding on my file.

Mike, my man, we want to help
you out here, you know...

...but we got a couple of administration
problems over here, you know?

So how about we give you
a little sirens and some flashing lights?

You know, and make a racket.
How's that?

Negative! Negative!

Crash that ambulance
into the building right now!

We want to help the team
out and everything, but...

But I'm not getting
suspended for this, man.

Okay, I plan on whupping y'all asses
the second I get out of here.

Crash the ambulance right now!

Screw it. Just the price
of cop business, my man.

Now, get her on the table.

[SIREN WAILING]

Oh. Oh, my God.

Jeez! What the hell!
I'm so... I'm so...

That's tragic, man.

Go, go, go. Back door's clear.
Go! Go!

Get up, Marcus!

The gas got stuck. I didn't mean to.

[♪♪♪]

Oh, man.

Supple leather, you know.

You ever rub your leather?

You know, like, just rub it.
See how good it feels.

What does love mean to you, Mike?

MIKE:
Don't worry about me and my love.

Look, I got plenty
of love in my life.

Like a woman's butt.

- Don't do that.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa. Mike.

Let's just concentrate
and get this warrant.

I need to express right now.

I want you to know, if this is
our last job, I really appreciate you.

Okay?

No, this is not gay shit.

This is man shit.
You know what I mean?

And you a beautiful man.
You know?

And when you let
the beautiful side...

- What?
- Look at your pupils.

How am I look at my pupil?
What, I'm...

Yo, what are you taking?
Did you take some of that X?

- Hey, look, give me a hug.
- Hey, get off. Listen, listen. Listen!

We need this warrant. Do not
fuck this up. Pull yourself together.

[BARKS]

Evening, captain.

Hello, "capteeon."

So how do you two plan to fuck up
my evening tonight?

Well, captain, believe me,
we would not be here...

...if it weren't seriously,
utterly important.

Get in here.

- Get off me!
- Argh!

[SOFT BALLAD
PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

[SNAPPING]

MARCUS:
Oh, ho, ho!

Cap, this is beautiful.

Have such a warm feel, you know.

Sort of like a "ving shwa."
What's it, Mike?

Mike, it was a V, like a "von schwo."

Why don't you...? Why don't you...?
Why don't you have a seat?

- Or "ven wangs" or...
- Feng shui.

"Von sway."

You have a "von sway" home.

Make yourself at home.

Captain, I know you said
that Johnny Tapia was hands off...

- Oh, no! No!
- Look, captain, we got him. It's a wrap.

Look, we messed up today,
but we got him. Please just look.

How do I move it?

Here with your...
Go, flip through the pictures.

- Take... You can flip...
- Oh.

You can flip through a picture...

This is horrible.

Mike.

- Take the picture.
- You can look really close, captain.

Listen, we got everything
that we need to take this dude.

Oh, God. Oh!

They're taking the organs out.
Get, here...

Right there you can... You can...
Yeah. If you look there, uh...

Oh, gosh. Oh!

This is good. That's horrible.

[SNIFFING]

Look at this.

Mm-mm.

Everybody just needs to relax.
Whoosah. Whoosah. Whoosah.

What are you doing? Marcus, it's 2 a.m.
Get your hands off me.

Oh.

Oh, remember we said we were
gonna call Vargas and Reyes?

- No, I don't...
- Call Vargas!

Tell him the thing
we said to tell him.

What thing?

Tell him we said...
About yesterday.

- I ain't...
- And tell him about the thing.

So, captain, listen,
we've also got videotape.

Yesterday, we fucked up bad.
But we got him now.

The... Oh, shit.

- What?
- No, a lot of times with these...

Oh, shit!

- What? Did I erase it?
- No. We got video.

- We got fucking...
- Oh. Let me see.

- Oh, there you go.
- Oh, shit.

MIKE: He's shipping the drugs
around the country in dead bodies.

We found coffins full
of cash tagged for Cuba.

And you think Tapia's about to
move out with all this money?

MIKE:
Yeah, we get...

Well, I love it when you
call me Bunny Nose.

Shit!

Yeah, I do, girl.

You should see this
sexy shit I got on.

Who the hell
are you talking to?

I talked to Vargas and, um...

...Ru... Reyes. They said that
they're down for whatever.

This is a nice fish, you know.

Big fucking eyes,
but a nice fucking fish.

We need this warrant, captain.

Well, let's take this scumbag down.

[GULPING]

What the fuck is going on?

MIKE:
He ingested X.

CAPTAIN:
You okay, pal? Take it easy.

Okay, thank you.

Poison lady says
we gotta keep him cool.

Otherwise, he's burning up,
he can get brain damage.

Nobody'll even notice that.

Ah.

Mike, I got an erection.

Ho...

- Take me home.
- Hey...

Call the wife, tell her
I'm on the way.

[♪♪♪]

[BREATHING LOUDLY]

Hope you guys hear me.

- We got her. Loud and clear.
- She's in.

Showtime.

CAPTAIN:
Palm Mortuary, Alpha team.

Tapia's mansion, Delta.
Dixie Boy boat dock, Bravo.

Coast Guard gunships,
anything that hits the water.

We hit all three places
simultaneously.

Tac up at 08:45.
We go hot at 09:00 sharp.

Bring the noise.

You're such a beautiful girl.

Thank you.

- Johnny.
- Yeah?

- Is she a Negro?
- Please, Mama!

Shut up! Get out of here!

[SPEAKS SPANISH]

You make your bed, you sleep in it!

[♪♪♪]

MAN 1:
Make way!

MAN 2: Get down!
MAN 3: Don't fucking move!

You take risks. I like that.

Or...

...maybe I'm the one
taking a risk on you. Huh?

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

Excuse me, boss.
We need to talk now.

Something's going on outside.

- Cops.
- What the fuck do you mean, cops?

Goddamn it.

Whoa, DEA. You guys aren't planning
on going in there, are you?

Slow down there, cowboy,
we have a warrant.

I got a UC inside.
She's gotta come out first.

You got two minutes, my man.

MAN 1: Call her on her cell.
MAN 2: Yes, sir.

Cut the power to the house.

- You got her?
MAN 2: No, sir.

Well, let's go.

[TYRES SCREECHING]

We got a bogey
in front of the house.

God. This is for you, Josef,
and me and Mother Russia.

They're not gangbanger homeys, boss.
They're cops.

Cops?!

They weren't trying to hit the load.
I think they were looking after her.

[GASPS]

Now, you tell me...

- ...where is the wire?
- They made her. They made her.

We gotta get her out. We gotta get
her out. Let's go! Go! Come on!

Hey, Tapia, you fucking mother.

[YELLING]

The Russian Grim Reaper is here.

Everything's in here.

- Oh, shit. Oh, sh...
- Goddamn.

Eyeball, has anything left this mortuary
in the past two hours?

EYEBALL: A four-hearse funeral just left.
We trailed them to Miami Harbour.

Miami Air, Tapia's running his money
to Cuba. Get us a chopper!

JOSEF:
Hey, Tapia!

You scared of me,
you little scumbag?!

- We got some heat.
- Pull the car back.

I'll fucking kill you!
Hey, who the hell are you?

- Drop the weapon!
- Drop the weapon now!

- I'm with you guys!
MAN: Drop it, now!

- I'm over here!
- Shut up!

- Drop the weapon!
- I'm gonna kill that son of a bitch!

This is Alpha. Heads up to the
Coast Guard Sharks and Bravo Team.

Lock down the harbour.
Freeze any speedboat on the move.

BRAVO:
This is Bravo.

We got a go-fast slinging at a high
rate of speed down Miami Harbour.

Stop that boat.

[♪♪♪]

BRAVO:
This guy's moving us.

Think we're going for the bridge.

Coast Guard, we're going in.

Miami Police. Shut it down.

This is the police. Shut it down.

[SPEAKS SPANISH]

Watch out, he got a weapon on board.

Bail out, bail out!

Coast Guard, take him down.
Burn him.

COAST GUARD: Vessel is dead in
the water. Vessel is dead in the water.

This is what we do.

Ah.

Oh, man, it's full up. It's full up.

It's a righteous bust.

["SHAKE YA TAILFEATHER"
PLAYING]

- Aah...
- Aah...

Uh-uh. Uh-uh. Aah...

How the hell they slip away?

Give me the watch commander
on the horn.

Do you know her brother
on Miami P.D.?

- Yeah.
- Find him.

Do you know anyone who might
want to save your life?

Hm?

[CELL PHONE RINGS]

- Hello?
- Marcus, they...!

You have $100 million of mine...

...and I want it back in 48 hours.

[♪♪♪]

Shit just got real.

Jack Snell, DEA.

Agent Eames, FBI...

...who has just informed me...

...that satellite has pinpointed Tapia's
jet in Cuban airspace 20 minutes ago.

Cuba?

United States does not negotiate
with any hostage-takers.

Especially Cuban hostage-takers.

It's a delicate situation.

This is not just a situation.
This is my sister.

Off the record, all our agencies
in the State Department...

...are using all their back-channel
contacts for a diplomatic solution.

You know, by the time
y'all finish being diplomatic...

...my sister could be in a fucking box.
This is bullshit.

[MOUTHS]

MIKE: He ain't getting away from us
that easy.

We ride together...

...we die together.

Bad boys for life.

We just gotta do it ourselves, man.

[♪♪♪]

DODD:
I don't know you.

But you look like you're about
to do something stupid. I'm in.

Dodd here tell you how crazy
us ex-Delta guys are?

Hey, Marcus, my brother,
Tito, lives in Cuba.

He's a little crazy, but he's
hooked up with the underground.

Weapons, men, a safe house.
Whatever we need.

You can forget about passports,
baby, and all that stuff.

Because if the Cubans catch us,
we're all dead.

My brother Tito's in Alpha 66,
the Anti-Castro Underground.

What does that have to do
with Tapia?

Everything. Johnny Tapia's the biggest
supplier of drug cash to Castro.

So Alpha 66 will be all over him.

No, listen, brother, that is perfect.

Hey, guys, he says he can get
men on the tunnel right away.

Let me holler at him.

Tito, we need layout,
security, the whole deal.

We got info that Tapia's got a casket
coming in tomorrow at 4 p.m.

Yeah, that might be
our way in. Yeah.

Brought you a little care package
from my friends over at the CIA.

They want to help.
And don't ask me.

They're spies.

Former Delta Intel and Demo.
Requesting permission to tag along.

[♪♪♪]

[VOICES SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY
OVER RADIO]

Ronnie, I hear there's a boat
on fire off the coast of Cuba.

Think we ought to break international
waters to help them out?

That's my dog.

Point of no return.

I want to thank y'all
from the bottom of my heart.

- Mike, look, I just...
- Uh-uh. Tell me when we get back.

We got the target in sight.
I see the boat.

Roger. Target 12 o'clock.
Three hundred yards.

Roper in the door. Stand by.

Go! Go! Go!

- Tito?
- Welcome to Cuba.

[SPEAKS SPANISH]

[♪♪♪]

Damn. What's up with
the safe house right across the street...

...from Tapia's crib?

This is the last place
anyone would look.

We have been watching the place.

The guards play soccer
every day around 3:30.

The bad news,
everyone around here knows...

...he uses the army
like his own bodyguards.

MAN: This is Tapia's compound.
- CIA hooked us up, huh?

Yeah. This LIDAR laser technology
even shows his escape tunnel.

The alarm security
is wired to the army.

So we are severely screwed if
we don't blow up this security room...

- ...before we make a move.
- The tunnel we're digging branches off.

One under his back yard and
the other into his escape tunnel.

We gotta hurry up.

See? I told you my brother
was a maniac.

- How we looking?
- Let me check it out.

[CHATTERING IN SPANISH]

[♪♪♪]

- Papi, you look like Jesus.
- Why they call this The Last Supper?

It was the last time they were all together
before Jesus was crucified.

Crucified?

Hold your ears. Hey, you.

Listen to me. This is fucking
depressing! Do you understand?!

I mean, who had this fucking idea?

I just want little angels
looking down on me.

MIKE: Okay, here's the ocean,
300 yards from Tapia's house.

We're here. Safe house.
First tunnel comes through to here.

First team's gonna pop out
and take out the security station.

Second tunnel comes through
into the centre of the house.

Tito, your contacts inside
said Syd's in the last bedroom...

...on the second floor,
am I right?

TITO: Lupe is one of us. If she says
your sister's there, she is there.

Three o'clock sharp, the bag of cats
and iguanas go over the fence.

Hopefully they'll make
the motion detectors go so crazy...

...security'll shut them off.

TITO: My guys are gonna be watching
the outside for any military.

If they come, that's bad.

[♪♪♪]

Let's make this count, guys.

[SPEAKS IN SPANISH]

[CHATTERING IN SPANISH]

WOMAN:
Tito!

We're in.

[ALARM SOUNDING]

Goddamn it,
it's the fifth time today.

Carlos, turn off the motion sensors
till we get it fixed.

- Look what I found. Can I keep them?
- No.

All right, guys...

...sensors are down.
Time to move.

We are 100 percent go.

Let's go.

[♪♪♪]

Left. Left. Yeah. There we go.
This is not as easy as it looks.

[GRUNTS]

Okay, we're at the T. Split right.

Good luck, guys.

Let's go. Come on, let's go.

Now, find the soccer game.
Sniff it out, baby. Sniff it out.

Oh, oh. To the left.
To the left. Oh, shit.

[LAUGHING]

Oh, you did not see me.
You did not see me.

[PANTING]

We're ready to bust
into the escape tunnel.

There we go. Soccer.

- Whoa!
- Whoa!

Oh, sorry.

[SCREAMS]

Oh!

[SPEAKS IN SPANISH]

Go, go, go, go, go!

Go!

Get me the American bitch.

Get General Santos on the phone.
Tell him I need him now!

Sorry, darling. Take her outside
to safety. Come on.

[GLASS BREAKING]

- Carlos, this is not good!
- I know!

- Where is General Santos?!
- He's coming. He's coming, boss!

You fucking maricons!
I'm gonna blow your head off!

Fuck!

What's happened to this gun? My son
is gonna slice you into chorizo.

- Mama, I'm very sorry.
- You little puta!

- Vargas, you in?
- We got Mama and we got the girl.

We're entering the house. Go!

Move! Move! Move!

Everything's clear outside.
You got 30 seconds max. Haul ass.

All right, guys, be advised.

You got two rovers on the balcony.
I can't get a shot off.

See the rover? I missed him!
I missed him!

Get down! Get down!
Get down now!

- Get down!
MARCUS: Down!

Move! Move! Move!

- Marcus!
MARCUS: Come on!

Move, move!
We got the package.

Okay, guys, you gotta move now.
It's turning into a real bad day.

Vargas, we're coming back.
Cover us!

We got you covered right here.

[YELLING]

Somebody talk to me.
What's going on, guys?

The military is everywhere.

This is bad, compadre,
I have to go.

Guys, listen to me,
you have a lot of company.

Get out of there now!

Aah! Aah!

I'm hit! I'm hit!

Head for the tunnel.
I'm gonna blow this thing.

Go, go! Get out!

Mike, Mike, please, man.
You gotta get out.

Vargas, Vargas!
Get out, get out! Abort!

We're not gonna make it
to the tunnel! Go to plan B.

- We're going to plan B!
- What plan B?!

You don't pay attention to shit!

- What's plan B?
- That's your goddamn problem!

Are you fucking shitting me?
Let's go!

- Follow me! Follow me!
- I will...

Plan B? What the hell is plan B?

- Tito, what you doing here?
- You need a Cuban guide, fool.

This way!

- They're not gonna make it to the tunnel.
- Let's blow out of here!

Keys, keys, keys!

Oh, my God! No! God!
Oh, my God!

Plan B did not have
that big-ass gun in it!

You call this plan B?!
What the plan B stand for? Bullshit!

Do you want to drive?!

Yeah, pull over by the motherfuckers
with the machine guns!

Shit!

Woo!

Yeah!

I am not to be fucked with!

I guess I missed the part of the meeting
where you drive through the dining room.

And right out the front door.

Get in the truck!

[GRUNTING AND PANTING]

Cuban army was everywhere.

Gotta get us to
Guantánamo Bay, Tito!

No, no, no, no. You can't just
drive onto a U.S. Naval base.

Hey, we're Americans, okay?

Hey, Marcus, you know how when
we usually get in these situations...

...I'm always trying to make you feel
better, like we gonna be all right.

- Yeah, yeah.
- I could say it...

...but that'd be a bunch
of bullshit today.

[♪♪♪]

- Military, military.
MARCUS: Shit.

- Which way? Which way?!
- No, right! Right! Go right!

[YELLS IN SPANISH]

These are the drug dealer shacks.
They make the cocaine here.

Hope they got a lot of shit
in there that likes to blow.

Faster! I'll kill you, motherfucker!

MIKE:
I'm gonna go for it.

- This is a big-ass hill.
- Shit.

[YELLING]

- Oh, shit! Is this still called plan B?
- No, this is definitely plan C.

Oh!

Woo!

[SCREAMING]

Whoa!

MARCUS:
Oh, Jesus!

God! God!

All right, everybody start
shooting at somebody!

Shoot! Shoot!

- Shit! Shit! I'm out!
- I got two rounds left.

- One in the chamber.
- I'm out.

All these guns in here and
don't none of you got no bullets?!

- I got one in my hip!
- Oh, God, he's hit!

TITO:
There! Gitmo!

U.S. soil, baby. U.S. soil.

Go! Come on! Go, go!

[HONKING]

- Americans on the way!
- Whoa, watch...

MIKE:
Americans on the way!

Run it! Run it!

[♪♪♪]

Go.

Go! Go! Go!

Fuck.

Mike!

[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]

We're Americans!

I pay my motherfucking taxes!
Shoot them!

Hey, fucking gringo. Drop the gun!

Put it down! Put it down!

They can't help you.
You're staying in Cuba.

[MAN SPEAKING IN SPANISH]

You are standing on a live minefield!

Do not move!

Look, why don't we all go home...

Well, we'll go home, you go to a hotel.

Let's work this shit out
another day.

Because none of us is really
having a good day right now.

CARLOS: Give me the gun!
SYD: Okay.

I'm gonna toss it right at your feet...

...right next to the mine.

Now, that's how you
supposed to shoot!

From now on, that's how you shoot!
Woo!

Oh, I want my next partner
to shoot just like that.

It take a dysfunctional motherfucker
to bust somebody in the head like that.

That's some dysfunctional shit.

My next partner gonna invite me
to his barbecues and shit, though.

Come here, girl. Come here.

I came all the way to Cuba for this.

["SHAKE YA TAILFEATHER"
PLAYING]

MARCUS:
Come on.

Y'all gotta do that around land mines?

Would you tell them that that shit is
dangerous around these land mines?

♪ Let me see you take it low
Girl, go and take it low ♪

♪ We can even do it slow
We can even do it slow ♪

♪ Take it where you want to go
Take it where you want to go ♪

♪ Just take that ass to the floor ♪

♪ Pop something, move something
Shake your tailfeather♪♪

MARCUS: You know, Mike, this
ain't easy for me, but I was wrong.

I'll be very proud for you
to date my sister.

- Thanks, man.
- All right.

You know, me and
Syd thought about it...

...and your behaviour
was so crazy that...

...whatever magic
we could've captured...

...probably best if we didn't even...
You know.

You're just gonna take advantage
of my little sister, huh, Mike?

Already you breaking her heart?

- What the hell are you talking about?
- What, she not good enough for you?

Syd, Mike says you ain't shit!

Now, why would you scream out
some crazy nonsense like that?

You know, Mike, I don't appreciate
you coming over here...

...all right, disrespecting me
in my new pool.

I bought your new pool.

You know what? Why don't you
hook this pool up to your Ferrari...

...and drag this motherfucker
out of here?

First of all, I was just joking with you.

Second of all, all this right here,
smell yourself right now.

Because this moment
is what the fuck is wrong with you.

You know, Mike, I got the
transfer papers in the trash can.

I'll go get them
and glue them the fuck up.

- Glue them up, Marcus.
- What?

- You want some glue?
- But then we won't be partners.

- Because I got glue in the car.
- I'm trying to talk to you.

It's a hot motherfucker,
I feel like I'm cooking in this...

...and I gotta hear some shit out of you?
And then on top of that shit...

...you gonna dog my baby sister?

Whoa!

Oh, this that bullshit!

[YELLING]

♪ What you want, what you want
What you gonna do ♪

MEGAN:
Dad!

Dad!

I kept the warranty.
I kept the warranty!

♪ Bad boys, bad boys ♪

♪ What you gonna do? ♪

♪ What you gonna do
When we come for you? ♪

[SINGING INDISTINCTLY]

♪ Bad boys, bad... ♪

[SINGING INDISTINCTLY]

MIKE: Come on, man,
you gotta learn the words.

MARCUS: Mike, you don't know
the damn words either.

BOTH: ♪ Bad boys, bad boys
What you gonna do? ♪

♪ What you gonna do
When they come for you? ♪

♪ Bad boys, bad boys
What you gonna do? ♪

♪ What you gonna do
When they come for you? ♪♪

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

♪ Nigga, what?
Nigga, huh? ♪

♪ Shoot 'em up, bang, bang
Yeah, it's a cold thing ♪

♪ Diddy want Doggy to get him
My baby naughty, man ♪

♪ Get him, got him, man
Tryin' to fill up his body, man ♪

♪ With a lot of things
Fuck that nigga ♪

♪ Matter fact, he getting potty trained
Livin' with his mama, man ♪

♪ Stressed and pained, no gain
No thing for a nigga like the D-O ♪

♪ He'll put a couple holes
In you loud-mouth zero ♪

♪ If you step to us
You'll get fucked up quick ♪

♪ We keep the TEC with us
And we be bustin', bitch ♪

♪ Niggas be talkin' shit
But they be walkin' quick ♪

♪ When I pull out my nine
And pop two times, now peep ♪

♪ When you see my clique in this bitch
We kickin' it, Doggs be rippin' this ♪

♪ Slip a clip in it
Flip the script, and there ♪

♪ I'm that rap nigga
Bangin' that here ♪

♪ And you don't quit ♪

♪ Ride to the rhythm
Of some gangsta shit ♪

♪ And you don't stop
Pop, pop ♪

♪ Nigga, what?
Nigga, huh? ♪

♪ And you don't quit ♪

♪ Ride to the rhythm
Ofsome gangsta shit ♪

♪ And you don't stop
Pop ♪

♪ Nigga, what?
Nigga, huh? ♪

♪ Nigga, huh?
Nigga, what? ♪

♪ Doggy style and Bad Boy ♪

♪ And you don't quit ♪

♪ Ride to the rhythm
Ofsome gangsta shit ♪

♪ And you don't stop
Pop, pop ♪♪

[♪♪♪]

♪ Baby, don't, don't go
You know I need you so ♪

♪ Sometimes my pride
Gets in the way ♪

♪ I say things I don't mean
When I think you're hurting me ♪

♪ I love you more and more
Each day, each day ♪

♪ And I didn't
I didn't mean to make you cry ♪

♪ I don't want
I don't want you to say goodbye ♪

♪ I didn't
I didn't mean to make you sad ♪

♪ You're the best love I've ever had ♪

♪ And nothin'
Nothing's gonna tear us apart ♪

♪ And for this
For this love we work so hard ♪

♪ So can we
Can we try to work it out? ♪

♪ I'm yours
All yours without a doubt, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪♪

[♪♪♪]