Original subtitles

Good evening.

Something must be done about this.

On this roof alone

there are three reindeer

and a stork caught in the antennae.

We certainly can’t have that.

It interferes with reception.

The picture becomes quite grotesque.

Allow me to illustrate.

[electricity buzzes]

You see what I mean?

It’s rather like home movies made by Picasso or someone.

But enough of this.

You tuned in to see a story.

And I’m certain you don’t want to spend the time looking at a negative.

But first,

one minute from a man

who is a positive thinker.

Ten seconds.

Five,

four,

three, two,

one. All right, Chester.

[Chester] Exactly three minutes, Mr. Bourdon.

Just how she likes it.

Thank you, Chester.

Oh, and be sure that there’s a clean napkin on the tray.

Mrs. Bourdon said the last one was soiled.

Yes, sir.

And how is Mrs. Bourdon feeling this morning?

About the same, as usual.

[bell ringing]

I’d better go up to her.

You certainly took your time.

How long does it take to cook an egg?

-For heaven’s sake. -I’m sorry, dear.

I just hope this woman you hired looks after me better than you do, Arnold.

Please, give me my tray.

What time does she arrive, anyway?

Her train gets in at 9:00.

Perhaps I better send Chester down to the station now.

You seem very anxious.

I just don’t want Miss Grecco to feel lost. That’s all.

All right. Tell Chester to get started.

I suppose she’ll be some frittery blonde with ten thumbs

and a bad permanent.

I’m sure she’ll be fine.

The nurse’s registry recommended her highly,

and you saw her references.

You need a woman to look after you, Elizabeth.

You’ve said so yourself.

Oh, Arnold, stop yammering and go.

Arnold!

As soon as Miss Grecco arrives,

send her up here.

I want to look at this creature.

Miss Grecco is here, sir.

How do you do, Miss Grecco? I’m Arnold Bourdon.

Would you take Miss Grecco’s luggage up to her room, please?

[Chester] Yes, sir.

Well, won’t you sit down, Miss Grecco?

You must be tired after your long trip.

A little.

I hope you’re going to be happy with us, Miss Grecco.

My wife needs a woman to look after her.

I’ve been doing everything I can, of course.

But, uh, well, she herself suggested

a practical nurse will be so much more...

practical. [laughing]

[Arnold] You know about her ailment?

Yes, I do.

Well, it’s nothing dangerous,

but it is rather unpleasant for her.

She’s in bed most of the time.

She just hobbles about a bit.

She’s practically never out of her room

except for her walks in the garden.

She’s very fond of her little walks.

I see.

Would you--

Would you care for a cigarette?

No, thank you.

Is it isn’t this nursing she needs as much as companionship.

You know how women are.

Yes.

Well, I--

I certainly hope you’re going to be happy with this, Miss Grecco.

[bell ringing]

Oh, that’s her bell.

I expect she wants to see you now.

It’s right this way.

Here’s Miss Grecco, Elizabeth.

How do you do, Mrs. Bourdon?

How do you do, Miss Grecco?

I’ve just been telling Miss Grecco how we’ve been looking forward to her arrival.

Yes.

Well, I expect you want to change.

Your room is right down the corridor,

two doors from mine.

If you’ll excuse me.

Of course.

Well,

where did you get her? From the Folies Bergère?

Oh, really, Elizabeth.

Oh, she didn’t fool me for a minute.

She’s a chorus girl if ever I saw one.

I suppose you think you were being very clever, don’t you?

Nothing of the sort.

You chose her yourself, remember?

From the references sent by the nurse’s registry.

Never saw the woman before.

But you admit that she’s pretty.

She’s attractive, yes.

But not pretty, no.

Very well, then.

She may stay.

Should be interesting watching you two.

But make no mistake about it, Arnold.

I’ll be watching.

Really, Elizabeth, you’re talking nonsense.

I know you, Arnold. I know you inside out.

I can hear your romantic little heart beating.

I know the kind of man you are.

You’re the kind of man that’s always depending on women,

for one thing or another.

Do we have to talk about this now?

First it was your mother.

You never even met my mother.

Your sister told me.

Your mother did everything for you.

Then there was me.

There’s always been a woman to help you.

Now, Arnold, isn’t that true?

You are not being fair, Elizabeth.

Go ahead.

Tell your Miss Grecco she’s hired.

"In faith, I do not love thee with mine eyes.

For they in thee a thousand errors note."

"But ’tis my heart that loves what they despise...

who, in despite of view,

is pleased to dote."

Arnold.

If you must read poetry,

can’t you find something better than that?

Elizabeth, this is Shakespeare.

It’s a lot of romantic glop, if you ask me.

Why can’t you read me a good novel?

I thought you might like a little poetry for a change.

[Elizabeth] I might.

But you read it so badly.

[laughing]

Well, Miss Grecco,

you try.

"Nor are mine ears with thy tongue’s tune delighted,

nor tender feeling to base touches prone,

nor taste, nor smell, desire to be invited

to any sensual feast with thee alone.

But my five wits, nor my five senses,

can dissuade one foolish heart from serving thee."

[laughing]

Foolish is right.

Don’t you think so, Arnold?

I’m sorry, I wasn’t listening.

Not listening? Oh, what a pity?

Miss Grecco read so beautifully.

-Shall I go on? -Please do.

Arnold appreciates that kind of thing, don’t you, Arnold?

Don’t you?

Very much.

I’m cold. I want to go in.

Of course, Mrs. Bourdon.

Oh! Watch what you’re doing, for heaven’s sake!

-Sorry. -Here, let me do it.

Well, come on. Come on.

Yes, Elizabeth.

Oh.

I didn’t realize anyone was here.

That’s quite all right.

Please, come in.

I’ve been having trouble sleeping.

I often do.

That’s why I come down here and have a glass of hot milk.

It’s the only thing, really.

Oh, say, can I fix you one?

Please, don’t trouble.

No, no, no. It’s no trouble at all. Here.

You can just sit right down here at the table.

It’s high time that somebody waited on you, Miss Grecco.

Thank you.

All right.

Well, Elizabeth has certainly kept you hopping

these past two months.

I haven’t minded.

No. No, of course you haven’t.

You’ve been wonderfully patient with her.

She isn’t that much trouble.

Oh, no, you can be honest with me.

I’ve been her nurse for the past year.

Here, would you like a little brandy in this?

No, thank you.

It must be terrible for you seeing her like this.

Specially if you...

if you love her a great deal.

It would be awkward, wouldn’t it?

But as it happens...

My milk is getting cold.

I’m sorry.

I love you, Arnold.

I love you, too.

But it’s hopeless, isn’t it?

Depends on what you mean by hopeless.

I mean marriage of course.

Oh.

That is what you meant, isn’t it?

It would be ordinarily. But as you know, I’m a very married man.

There are divorce courts.

Yeah.

Also poorhouses.

I don’t have any money on my own, you know.

I’m not used to having no money.

That’s all there is to it, then.

-We can’t admit that. -What else can there be?

I won’t be a back street wife.

That’s a dreadful, novelettish phrase.

I prefer lover.

And I prefer wife.

There must be something we can do.

This isn’t fair to any of us.

As for Elizabeth,

she’ll never get any better.

She’ll get more miserable every day.

You, um--

You know that medicine that you give her every night?

You mean the 9:00 sedative.

Yeah.

Now, when--

when Dr. Ivey first prescribed it for her,

he warned me that it was a very strong sedative.

She’s so uncomfortable at night.

It helps her a lot.

Yeah.

You know about the proper dosage and all that, don’t you?

Yes.

I know the drug could be dangerous,

that an overdose could affect the brain,

possibly cause hemorrhaging.

Yes, naturally,

you wouldn’t make any mistake about overdosing.

Of course not.

-It’d be foolish. -Very foolish.

So easily detectable.

Yes, however, isn’t it true

that it wouldn’t be detected if it was administered

a little bit at a time?

That is,

three extra drops every night have the same effect

as an overdose.

Only not immediately.

Yes.

I believe that’s true.

She’d become weaker every day.

That’s bound to be a symptom.

Yes, but not necessarily ascribable to the drug.

And the amount in the bottle

would hardly be noticeable, don’t you think?

I suppose so.

How--

How long you think it will take before...

I really can’t say.

Just as a guess.

I would say...

about two months.

That’d be June.

[door opening]

Good morning, darling.

Well, how are we feeling this morning?

Arnold, your cheerfulness is depressing.

[laughing] I’m sorry, dear.

What are you dressed up for?

Huh? I thought I’d play a little tennis.

-No, you can’t. -Why not?

I want you to read to me this morning.

But can’t Miss Grecco do that?

I’m sick of the sound of Miss Grecco’s voice.

And frankly, Arnold, I’m sick of everything about Miss Grecco.

Really, Elizabeth, you know how helpful she’s been.

Has she?

Then why do I feel so much worse?

Well, you really can’t blame her for that.

Did I tell you

that Dr. Ivey wants me to enter the hospital for observation?

Well, if he really thinks it’s necessary, Elizabeth.

He says this loss of appetite is serious.

Oh, I’m sure it’s nothing too serious.

How can you be so sure?

I suppose the doctor should know what he’s talking about.

But you know how you hate hospitals.

Besides...

what would I do without you?

I wonder.

[laughs]

Would you wait a few days?

And if you don’t feel any better, go to the hospital.

But let’s not talk about it anymore.

I’ve got to run. I’ll be late for my game.

-Arnold. -Yes, dear?

I’ve already told Dr. Ivey

that I’ll enter the hospital the middle of next week.

Well, if you really think that’s best, Elizabeth.

You realize what this means, don’t you?

If they give her a thorough examination,

they are bound to detect the overdose in her system.

[Miss Grecco] Arnold, what should we do?

Perhaps if we stopped.

No, no, it’s too late for that.

There is another way, of course.

You mean increase the dose?

Just another couple of drops.

Do you still love me, Arnold?

[Elizabeth] Oh, what a pretty picture.

Go right on with it, Arnold.

Don’t let me interrupt you.

You forgot to give me my sedative.

I couldn’t find the bell. I had to walk down here all by myself.

But I’m glad I did.

I wouldn’t have missed this for the world.

Please, Mrs. Bourdon, you mustn’t think--

Quiet, you. I’ve had enough of you. Understand that?

Quite enough.

You’re mistaken, Elizabeth.

Miss Grecco merely had something in her eye.

[laughing]

I know she does. You.

But she’s one woman you won’t lean on again, Arnold.

I want her out of this house tomorrow.

Mrs. Bourdon, please, listen.

You’re fired.

If Arnold was my employee instead of my husband,

maybe I’d fire him too.

But he’s my husband.

Understand?

He’s my husband.

[door opens]

[door closes]

[Elizabeth] Now...

you can help me back upstairs, Arnold.

Tomorrow you will call the nurse’s registry

and arranged for a substitute for Miss Grecco.

Only this time,

I’ll interview the candidates personally.

Yes, Elizabeth.

[door closes]

[door closes]

[Elizabeth] Poor Arnold.

Elizabeth.

What are you doing out of bed?

You’ll overtire yourself.

I didn’t want to miss the great farewell scene.

Besides,

I’m feeling so much better this morning.

I’ve called Dr. Ivey

and told him to cancel the hospital appointment.

I don’t think I’m going to need it after all.

That’s fine, dear.

My poor Arnold, you look so upset.

[Arnold] Stop it, Elizabeth.

There’s always been a woman’s help, hasn’t there?

Only now she’s gone,

and you have to depend on me again.

Poor, little sick me.

Arnold.

Did you do what I told you?

Did you call the nurse’s registry.

Yes.

Yes, there’ll be three candidates here this afternoon

for you to choose from, starting at 2:00.

Good.

I was thinking of going out to a movie.

If you don’t think you’ll need me.

Go ahead.

See a good romantic movie, full of passionate love scenes.

Get it out of your system.

[door closes]

[bell ringing]

Did you enjoy your movie?

It was all right.

Well, our problems are solved.

I found the perfect woman.

She’s already started work.

I’m glad. Did they all show up on time?

The first two were impossible.

Too young.

But the third, ideal.

She’s in the kitchen.

Why don’t you go down and have a look at her?

-You seem to find it amusing. -Amusing?

Why should I?

Go on downstairs and look at her.

Go on, Arnold.

[door closes]

Does she want me? Your missus?

[bell ringing]

I was just making a pot of coffee.

[Elizabeth] How do you like her?

How do you like your new dream girl, Arnold?

[laughing]

My wife gets her sedative at exactly 9:00.

Won’t forget it, will you?

No, of course not.

You’re sure you understand about the dosage?

Oh, yes, I understand.

Just three more drops

than it calls for on the bottle.

That’s right.

It shouldn’t take long to finish her off now.

I certainly appreciate this...

mother.

Well, that’s the way the bustle bounces.

Now we have some medicine of our own we must take,

after which I should reappear.

Courage now.

It may be bitter,

but should feel better when it’s over.

By the by,

Arnold Bourdon attempted to achieve single blessedness

was frustrated by his mother.

At a crucial moment

the poor woman became completely addled

due to an overdose of cooking sherry.

-Next week we should return-- -[baby crying]

This is amazing.

I never saw a stork at work before.

I hope they have a layette ready.

They’ll find that isn’t Santa coming down the chimney.

Goodnight.