Original subtitles

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

I’m sure you are wondering what I’m wearing.

It’s the latest thing, I’m told.

Called a trampoline.

I do not intend to discuss how I arrived here,

but I’m open to suggestions for a way to get out.

As a costume, it has severe limitations.

Fortunately you won’t have to sit there

staring at me all evening.

We have a story for you.

It is called "The Throwback."

But first we have this one minute tear

in the tapestry of television.

[doorbell buzzing]

[doorbell buzzing]

-Hi. -Come in, Elliot.

-Am I too early? -No.

I’ll be ready in just a minute.

Oh, this is for you.

Thank you.

I’d better finish dressing.

Oh, wait a minute.

Wait a minute, not so fast.

Elliot, please, I--

[Elliot] Now, you think I bring girls presents for nothing, huh?

For nothing?

We really should go, it’s almost 8:00.

W-What’s the difference?

What do you mean?

Well...

to tell you the truth,

I didn’t make any special plans for tonight.

You didn’t?

No.

I...

thought you might like a quiet evening at home

for a change.

Could I have two glasses?

Oh, come one, Enid.

For the two months we’ve known each other,

we’ve been rushing around like every show is gonna close

and every restaurant run out of food.

I’m sorry you feel that way.

I didn’t mean it like that.

[Elliot sighs]

It’s just that you’re always hustling me out of here.

Now, why?

I spend a lot of time in this apartment.

I just like to get out whenever I can.

Now, it’s more to it than that

and you know it.

Now, it’s the weekend,

can’t we relax on the weekend?

Are we going out or aren’t we?

No, we’re not going out.

Not until you tell me what’s wrong with staying home.

Wrong?

Why do you say that?

Well, I know it’s wrong. I’m not stupid.

There is a thing about this place.

Now, I can feel it.

And there’s something wrong with our dates.

All right, why can’t I ever see you

on Saturday nights?

I told you, I’m busy Saturdays. Modeling.

Oh, you really think I really buy that story?

All right, now. What is it?

Now, you tell me the truth.

Is there someone else?

Is there?

I thought maybe you’d never ask me that.

I was hoping you wouldn’t.

Well, I’m asking now. Is there someone?

Yes, Elliot.

[scoffs]

"Yes, Elliot."

His name is Cyril Hardeen.

A widower.

He’s kind to me,

kind and gentle.

He’s such a gentle man, Elliot, you’ve no idea.

[Elliot] A widower, huh?

And how old is this-- this gentle, gentle creature?

He’s 54.

54?

Oh, but you mustn’t think of him as old.

He’s... well, he’s a wonderful person.

Yeah, he must be.

So that’s why you are always rushing me

out of here.

That’s why you would never see me

on Saturday.

I was just a diversion.

Oh, don’t say that!

But it’s true, isn’t it?

Your heart really belongs to Daddy!

That’s not the way it is.

Oh, what was his pitch, anyway?

A man his age?

Uh... modeling jobs? Your name in lights? The movies?

What was it?

Well, what was it?

-Diamonds? Furs? -Stop it!

Stop it, Elliot!

He loves me.

That’s the truth.

He loves me very much.

Well, congratulations and best of luck.

I hope you’re very happy.

Well, I’m not! I’m not!

Why tell me? Tell Mr. Hardeen.

Oh, you’re--

you’re not even trying to understand.

All right, Enid. All right.

Then, tell me, what is it?

Well, go on.

I met Cyril four years ago.

We’ve been going together ever since.

After I met you, I tried to break it off,

but I just couldn’t.

Listen, now tell me something.

Do you love him?

Not the way you mean it.

I couldn’t explain it to you in a million years.

You see everything black and white, Elliot.

But if you knew Cyril,

if you knew how he treated me.

He’s the kindest man I have ever known.

I could never hurt him.

He’s like a knight in a storybook,

a Don Quixote.

Oh, Enid. It doesn’t make sense.

He’s 30 years older than you.

Now, what could you see in a man like that?

I knew you wouldn’t understand.

Well, nobody could understand!

Except maybe a psychiatrist.

I’m sorry. I’m sorry.

Look...

I’m sure he’s a nice old guy,

but he’s not for you.

I never think of Cyril as old.

All right.

All right, so now what?

What about you and me?

Yes.

What about us?

Well, I’m not gonna put up with it.

It’s either him or me.

What?

Do you really mean that?

Of course I really mean it.

Well, say it.

Say what?

The magic words. You know what they are.

All right, I love you.

Is that what you wanted to hear?

Well... the words are all right,

but the tone’s not so hot.

[sighs]

I love you. I--

I do...

[Enid] Elliot.

All right, now. You listen to me.

[exhales]

I want you to give up this guy.

I want you to throw your Don Quixote on a junk pile.

And if you want me to, I’ll do it myself.

No, Elliot, I’ll tell him.

It’ll be better if I tell him.

All right.

Uh, my name is Elliot Gray. I have an appointment

with Mr. Hardeen.

Mr. Hardeen’s expecting you.

-Right in here, sir. -Thank you.

[Hardeen] Well, right on time, I see.

It’s very nice of you to come, Mr. Gray.

I know it was an imposition, asking you to visit me

on such a short notice.

That’s quite all right.

Enid has told me all about you, of course.

That’s why I wanted us to get together, I...

as you know, I have Enid’s interest

at heart.

Yes. So I understand.

Won’t you sit down, please?

Thank you.

Well, Enid’s description of you was accurate.

Oh? Is that good or bad?

No, no, no. It’s quite good, I assure you.

If anything, you’re even younger than I’d imagined.

Would you mind telling me how old you are?

I’m 26.

Do you want my height and weight, too?

No, that really won’t be necessary.

Look, Mr. Hardeen, let’s get to the point.

I’m sure I don’t have to tell you

how I feel about Enid

or how she feels about me.

No, she was fairly explicit on that subject.

You needn’t give me the details.

Well, she doesn’t want to hurt you.

She made quite a point of that. She thinks a lot of you.

Thank you.

Now, I don’t mean to sound patronizing,

but you must have expected this to happen sooner or later.

You couldn’t really expect her to--

To what, Mr. Gray?

To love an older man?

Look, Mr. Hardeen, why should I kid you?

Enid is 25.

Now, what kind of a future could you give her?

You knew that this would happen someday,

that she’d meet somebody like me.

So why fight it?

Yes. You’re probably right.

Youth is a powerful opponent.

Mr. Gray...

may I tell you something about myself?

I’m 59 years old,

even older than Enid thinks I am.

But what’s worse, I’m a throwback,

an anachronism.

I’m that most hopeless of creatures, a romantic,

born into an age of unnecessary speed

and cheap music.

If I’d been luckier, I would’ve been born

in medieval days,

when honor was honor and the prize of conquest

was beauty.

[exhales]

Oh... I can see I’m boring you.

Look...

why don’t we go downstairs and have a drink?

Downstairs?

Yes, I have a bar down in the basement, and I--

I think we’d both feel more relaxed

with a drink in our hands.

Sure.

Oh, it’s right this way, Mr. Gray.

[Elliot] Well, this is quite a place.

Is this what you call a bar?

Oh, I work out a little here sometimes.

It helps take off some of the fat.

Of course, I have a few of these

and put the pounds right on again.

Well, what will you have, Mr. Gray?

Oh, a little scotch and water.

[light clattering]

[pouring]

Thank you.

Well, what should we drink to?

To Enid.

No, perhaps not.

Suppose we just drink to... honor?

To honor.

[Hardeen exhales]

Well, Mr. Gray, as soon as you are ready.

Ready?

Oh, surely you know what I expect of you now.

What any man...

at least a throwback like myself at any rate,

expects of someone who has come between him

and his woman.

I don’t know what you’re talking about.

It’s an ancient custom, Mr. Gray.

Ancient and honorable.

What is?

I’m speaking of combat, Mr. Gray.

Unarmed combat.

Now, wait a second.

Uh, you don’t think I’m gonna fight you.

Why not, Mr. Gray?

Men have been setting disputes like this for centuries.

I suggest we settle this one the same way.

I think you’re out of your mind.

Don’t you think Enid is worth it?

Well, that’s got nothing to do with it.

A punch on the jaw isn’t gonna change anything,

Mr. Hardeen, you ought to know that.

Well, perhaps not, but whether it solves anything or not

really doesn’t matter, does it?

I think a great deal of Enid, Mr. Gray.

I want proof of your feelings for her.

I’m willing to offer my own.

Now, finish that drink and let’s get started.

This is about the nuttiest thing I ever heard of.

No. I won’t fight you.

I wouldn’t think of it.

For one thing, you are 30 years older

than I am.

You needn’t remind me of that.

Just answer my question.

Will you fight?

Look, if you’ve got some crazy idea

about a duel or something, forget it.

I’m not talking about swords or pistols, Mr. Gray.

I see no need for killing each other.

I’m speaking of unarmed combat,

the old fashioned, primitive sort.

If you’re really worried about the inequality

of our years and strength...

I’ve thought of that, too.

There’s an old custom in affairs of this sort,

and I believe it applies here.

What custom?

Under Louis Quatorze, many of the French noblemen

employed substitutes to carry out

their affairs of honor.

Why, even the great Napoleon Bonaparte,

when challenged,

offered to send a fencing master as his plenipotentiary.

Well, in this case, I would say a substitute

is even more justified.

Well, someone closer to your own age and prowess.

Excuse me.

Joseph?

Joseph, are you up there?

[Joseph] Yes, sir.

[door closing and footsteps approaching]

[Hardeen] Ah, there you are.

This is Joseph, Mr. Gray.

Oh, I believe you met upstairs.

Joseph has been a very good friend of mine

ever since his retirement from...

another profession.

Look, Mr. Hardeen,

if you think you are gonna egg me

into a fight, you made a wrong guess.

I’m not gonna fight you or Joseph

or anybody else.

Now, if you don’t mind.

[grunts]

You-- You can’t keep me here.

[Hardeen] Oh, don’t let us bicker, Mr. Gray.

No. No.

Now, you keep your hands off me,

or I’m gonna call the cops--

[Elliot grunts]

[Elliot coughs]

[Joseph] Oh, come on. Get up. Get up.

I think that’s enough, Joseph.

Very well, sir.

[Hardeen] Oh, dear. Oh, dear.

I am sorry, Mr. Gray.

I hoped that you’d try and put up more of a fight,

but I’m satisfied, at any rate.

What’s the matter, are you some kind of nut or something?

You are no throwback.

You’re a-- a maniac!

Oh, I’m afraid you don’t share my concept

of what’s right and honorable, Mr. Gray, it is a pity.

Now, I want out of here.

Well, you can go now. I won’t try and stop you.

Oh, but Mr. Gray, there is one thing.

I wouldn’t advise you telling Enid about this.

I doubt if she’d believe you anyway.

You may do yourself more harm than good.

Don’t you worry about Enid.

Well, after all, I have known her

a great deal longer than you have.

Well, that’s all over, now. You understand?

Perfectly.

Enid’s through with for good!

You may be right.

Well, in that case,

I’d say you’d won after all.

[Hardeen] No hard feelings, eh?

[door slams]

[Hardeen] Come on, Joseph.

[sighs]

[line buzzing]

[grunts]

[exhales]

[doorbell buzzing]

You Mr. Elliot Gray?

Yeah, that’s right.

We are the police, Mr. Gray.

Can we come in?

Police?

Yeah, sure. Come in.

My name is Lieutenant Marsh, and this is Sergeant Baker.

What? I don’t understand, w-what do you want?

What’s this all about?

Are you acquainted with a man named Cyril Hardeen?

Uh... yeah. I sure am.

Did you see Mr. Hardeen this evening?

Yes, I did.

You and Mr. Hardeen maybe had a little trouble tonight?

Wait. Look. Look, uh...

I’m not gonna answer any more questions

until I know what this is all about.

Look, Mr. Gray...

we don’t have any warrant that’ll force you

to go along with us.

But you’ll save yourself a lot of trouble later on if you do.

Where to?

[Marsh] Cyril Hardeen’s house.

Why?

It’s a matter of identification, Mr. Gray.

Is this the man, Mr. Hardeen?

Yes. Yes...

What? This is some kind of crazy mistake.

I-I didn’t do anything.

Well, look. I’m the one that got beaten up.

That’s not the way it looks, does it?

You sure don’t pick them your age, do you, buddy?

Enid, you don’t believe this.

Elliot, how could you?

I didn’t do anything. This is some kind of mistake!

Have the courage to admit what happened.

It’s very clear.

You fought over me, and this is what you did.

[Enid] Cyril told me all about it.

Oh, thank you, Joseph.

Well, he lied to you, Enid.

It was a frame-up!

It didn’t happen this way.

This fellow, he did it deliberately.

He wanted you to think this!

[Enid] Aren’t you ashamed trying to put the blame

on somebody else?

It’s a frame-up, Enid!

Please, don’t make it any worse!

You’ve proved your point.

You’re younger and stronger than he is, I know that.

But I don’t wanna hear about it!

Not anymore.

If you want to prefer charges for assault and battery,

Mr. Hardeen...

[Enid] Joseph...

No.

I don’t want to make any charges.

But I would like to rest a little.

All right, let’s get going, bud.

You know, you’re pretty lucky.

Personally, I wouldn’t mind seeing you put away.

-Enid, would you listen to me? -No.

Joseph, hand me that pillow, will you, please?

-On your way. -Enid!

Enid, you don’t understand!

[Marsh] Can’t you see the man wants quiet?

[Elliot] Enid!

Just leave us alone, Elliot.

You’re going to be all right, darling.

Thank you.

That was a pleasantly romantic story.

But I was in no mood to enjoy it.

My feet are beginning to hurt.

Fortunately, my assistants have promised to extract me

under cover of the following one-minute entertainment black-out.

I shall see you at its conclusion.

[machinery whirring]

I appreciate getting out,

but I don’t think the job called for a heavy construction crane

and a crew of four men.

One of my assistants is given to large scale ideas.

He was the one who thought of opening this show

with a shot of me bouncing merrily on a trampoline.

However, he won’t be with us when we return next week.

We are sending him on location to Devil’s Island.

Goodnight.