Original subtitles

Greetings, my merry men.

Welcome to the forest primeval.

Prithee tarry whilst we tell you a story called,

"A Very Moral Theft,"

a title which would befit any tale of bold Robin.

However, our story, I am happy to say,

takes place in our own age.

As the saying goes,

there will always be a sheriff of Nottingham.

Listen to his proclamation.

[man] Hey, Harry!

Hey, we’re out of Douglas fir.

How much more do you need?

Well, I’m short about 5,000 board feet.

Ah, use number three grade, then.

Number three? They ordered Douglas fir.

Go ahead, will you? We got plenty.

They’ll never know the difference.

OK, Harry.

What do you want?

You said we might have dinner tonight.

I said maybe we might.

Hey, Carl!

Lock up when you finish, will ’ya? I’m leaving.

Come on, kid, I need a drink and you look like you could use one.

Thanks for the dinner, Harry.

It was nothing.

I thought it was very nice.

Yeah.

Well, look, kid, I gotta go. I got a lot of things to do.

Oh.

I was hoping you’d come in for a while.

Just this once.

And go a couple of rounds with that meatball brother of yours? No, thanks.

John’s not a bad person, Harry.

I’ve met better guys up the river.

Harry...

What do you want me to do, fall all over him?

What’d he ever do for me?

I mean, I walk in there and he gives me those fish eyes.

Look, kid, I gotta go.

All right, Harry.

-[engine starts] -Will I see you tomorrow night?

I don’t know, maybe.

Helen?

Yes?

Harry brought you home early.

He said he had things to do.

Yeah, I can imagine.

Alice and I have decided to get married in late August.

I was writing Aunt Margaret about it.

Oh...

it’s definite, then?

Yeah...

but there’s the matter of this house.

And what to do about me, is that it?

[John] Yeah. I thought we might talk about that.

Well, must we right now?

I have a headache.

Not if you don’t want to.

But we’re gonna have to make some decisions soon.

All right, John. Goodnight.

Are you sure it’ll be all right?

I mean, Mr. Ivers isn’t here and--

[Helen] It will be perfectly all right, Mr. Fescue.

I have his power of attorney in matters like this.

Still it’s...

$9,000 and...

you said he’d be here tomorrow.

I could give it to him then.

I assure you it’s safe.

Besides, I can’t call the family and tell them their house

has been sold if you don’t make your deposit. Tomorrow might be too late.

Well, all right, then.

I’d rather have had a long-term mortgage, but...

at my age, I guess that’s asking too much.

That’s... going to clean me.

You... be sure and call those people.

Oh, don’t you worry. The house is yours.

It’s just a matter of the usual two days’ paperwork.

Thank you.

I got held up at the office.

Were you waiting long?

Not long.

What’s that, a new dress?

No. I just changed the collar and took off the belt.

That looks pretty nifty.

Hi, Charlie, give me the usual, huh?

-What are you drinking? -Sherry.

And some more sherry for her, Charlie.

How’s everything?

Everything--

Everything is rotten.

What’s the matter?

-I’m in trouble. -What do you mean?

Creighton’s gone bankrupt.

Well, you still have other customers.

-Losing one couldn’t hurt much. -No, no,

you don’t get the picture. You don’t get the photo at all.

[humming]

Thanks, Charlie.

Want a menu?

What’s the rush?

You see, Creighton owes me money that I have to give to the mill

because they won’t carry me anymore.

Now there isn’t any more Creighton,

so I’m left holding the bag.

Skol.

You mean you have to pay the mill whether Creighton pays you or not?

Of course I gotta pay the mill.

They sold me the lumber, didn’t they?

If I don’t send them any money, they won’t send me any more lumber,

and I’ll just be out of business, so...

Do you have the money?

No, I don’t have the money. I don’t have a dime.

You can get a mortgage on the lumber yard.

Yeah, I could get a mortgage on the lumber yard if I owned the lumber yard.

But I don’t own the lumber yard. I just lease the property--

What’s this? I didn’t order this?

You want me to take it back?

Humorous, very humorous.

Comic.

How much do you owe the mill?

Plenty.

Well, certainly they’ll take something on account.

Yeah. Eight grand. The eight grand that Creighton owes me.

How could you have?

Don’t please give me that "How could you have?"

I did, that’s all, and I’m in the soup.

You wanna laugh?

I just got a big order

from a guy who’s gonna pay me right away,

and everything gets cleared up.

Only, I can’t do it because I can’t get the lumber

from the mill ’cause I haven’t got the eight grand.

You can’t get the money anywhere?

No, not a cent.

You see, the bank won’t give me any money because they say

I haven’t got any assets for security. Ah...

Let’s eat. Charlie!

-[Charlie] Yeah? -Where’s the menu? Will ya?

For crying out loud, give us a menu.

I recommend the beef stroganoff.

Perhaps you’ll like to try the... chop suey.

-Pot roast? -An omelet.

How about you, Harry?

Eh, give me that, uh...

beef junk. You know with those noodles.

-Stroganoff? -Yeah.

-Coffee, tea or milk? -Yeah.

What about asking the people you know? They seem to like you.

Don’t kid yourself.

They like me because I never put the bite on them.

You never saw anything freeze

so fast like an old pal when you put the bite on them.

No, I’d have to go out of business and--

and start all over again in something else.

Is it really that bad

that you’d have to go out of business?

What are you talking about, I’d have to go out of business?

I am out of business. Don’t you understand?

I’m in the lumber business... Lumber.

And I can’t get any more lumber.

So... how much badder can it get?

Suppose the bank did give you the money.

How long would it take you to pay it back?

Forty-eight hours.

Could you really get the money from the customer so quickly?

Don’t they have to receive the lumber

and then go through some sort of billing department?

They know me over there.

You see, they like me a lot.

I mean, I’ve set up a lot of good business deals for them.

All I have to do is

just walk in there with a big hello,

and they make the check right out for me.

Are you sure?

What do you mean, am I sure?

That’s the way they are with me.

And... you could get your money in 48 hours?

There’d no chance that you couldn’t?

[Harry] That’s right.

And it would keep your business going, wouldn’t it?

Yeah. What are you asking all these questions for?

What do you got on your mind?

I could get the money for you, Harry.

If you’re sure you can get it back in 48 hours.

That’s $8,000, honey.

Where could you get $8,000?

I-- ah-- we--

we own our own home, my grandfather built it.

The bank will give me a mortgage on it.

Without your brother knowing?

We talked about mortgaging last summer.

We were going to get a summer cabin at the shore.

The bank knows about it.

And you’re sure you can get the money back in... 48 hours.

It would help your business.

Wouldn’t it, Harry?

Yeah, but look, kid, your brother doesn’t like me.

I mean, supposing he found out,

couldn’t he louse the whole thing up?

He’ll be away for two days.

How soon could you get it?

Tomorrow about 11:00.

All right?

That’s great, kid, just great.

You’re sure you can get it back in 48 hours, aren’t you?

I give you my word.

Mr. Fescue gave us his down payment on the Randall place yesterday.

-It was $9,000. -That’s fine, Helen.

It was late, I think I ought to go down to the bank with it, Mr. Ivers.

Yeah, you go ahead.

Oh, did you called the people to tell them we sold their place?

Yes, they’re going to bring the deed down this afternoon.

Fine.

Been a pretty thin month, all in all.

-Morning, Helen. -Good morning, Ben.

How are you this morning, Helen?

Oh, just fine, Mr. Parker.

Have you and Mr. Ivers

got a corner on the real estate market yet?

Not yet.

Hi, Helen. How’s everything?

Just fine, George.

You’re lucky to be out on a day like this.

I sure hate being cooped up when the fish are biting.

I want a cashier’s check for this.

Who’d you want it payable to?

Make it out to Harry Wade.

Hmm.

What’d your brother say about this money?

He doesn’t know about it. It’ll be all right as long

as I get the money back in two days.

Don’t worry. I got something else working.

I’m going over to hillside tonight. I gotta see a guy

over there that I helped get a city franchise.

You’re sure I’ll get the money back, aren’t you?

Would you quit worrying? I can go a couple of ways.

I can even give the guy a piece of the business.

Would you do that?

You wanna get married, don’t you?

Harry...

you know I do.

Sometimes I wonder.

But look, you gotta get it through your head

that I can’t do nothing along that line

until this thing is straightened out. Huh?

Hey! you sure you didn’t steal that money?

[sarcastic laughter]

Will I see you tonight?

I don’t know, maybe.

You mean he popped the question?

Yes, Harry and I are getting married.

-When did all this happen? -Today.

Right now he’s seeing about a business deal so we can go ahead.

There’s a man over in Hillside

that’s been begging to buy into the business.

-Well, I sure had him pegged all wrong. -Yes, you did.

Congratulations.

Thank you, John.

You set the date?

No, I thought I’d let you and Alice set yours first.

Yeah, yeah...

[Ivers] May I help you?

Is Helen here?

No, I’m afraid not. She’s out right now.

Oh... well.

She isn’t in, she’s gotta be out, right? [chuckles]

When’ll she be back?

I don’t know. She’s out making an appraisal.

Oh, she’s making an appraisal.

Well, thank you.

Oh, say, would you tell her something for me? Huh?

Yes. I’ll be glad to give her a message.

Well, you just tell her--

Uhh... tell her tonight’s the night. Eh?

Tonight’s the night?

Tonight’s the night. You got it?

Yes, I’ll tell her.

Who should I say called?

Harry.

Ah... Harry who?

Just Harry, all right?

Hello, Harry!

Hey! I was just in your office. That old grouch your boss?

He’s not a grouch.

I feel sorry for you.

Hey, kid, I got news for you. Everything’s set.

I’ll have the dough tonight.

How wonderful!

Yeah, I gotta leave now to latch onto the bundle.

Hey, and as long as your brother is out of town,

I’ll, um, I’ll pick you up at 8:00, OK?

Oh, he’s not out of town. But come anyway, Harry.

I told him about us last night.

You never saw anybody do such an about-face in your life.

What did you tell him about us?

About us getting married.

You told him, huh?

It’s not a secret, is it?

-See you tonight. -All right, Harry.

How are you, honey?

[Helen] Come in, Harry.

Well, I don’t know, kid. You’re liable to dump me out of my ear.

You have the money?

Sorry, baby, I haven’t got it. I laid a square egg, zippo.

Harry, you said they would pay as soon--

No, the guy down there at the mill,

the guy that always gave me the money, you know?

He was fired. He isn’t there anymore.

What about the guy that was gonna buy into the business.

-You can get it from him. -No, he couldn’t make a deal.

Harry, I must have that money by tomorrow.

Helen, baby, don’t tell me they’re gonna foreclose the mortgage. Boom!

Just like that. You want me to stall them?

What mortgage?

Hello, John.

-Harry--- -She-- She just took out a little mortgage

-on this house to help me out a little bit. -Harry, don’t--

-She didn’t want you to know-- -No, wait a minute, get this straight.

She can’t get any mortgage without my signature.

Did you give him money?

-Yes. -How much?

$8,000.

Where’d you get it?

I borrowed it from Mr. Ivers account.

-You stole it! -Now, wait a minute. What kind of talk is that?

-You put her up to this. -You take it easy, now.

I’m in no mood for that kind of talk.

You’re in no mood? What mood do you think we’re in?

Keep your shirt on. You’ll get your money.

-When! -Soon!

Honey, don’t say nothing to your boss about this.

Relax, will you?

So you fell for his con game!

Anyone could see a mile off what he is.

-Anyone but you! -I gave him the money because I wanted to.

This country is full of unmarried women your age

who fall for guys like him because they think they can buy a husband.

I don’t wanna talk to you.

You don’t wanna talk to me?

Who do you wanna talk to about the $8,000 you stole, Mr. Ivers?

Why don’t you do something instead of just yelling?

Why don’t you prosecute him?

I can’t prosecute. You stole the money.

You think I want that in the papers when I’m just about to get married?

I’m sorry, John.

What good is being sorry?

You’re always sorry. This isn’t the first time.

You wouldn’t listen to me when you were going with George Maxwell

or with that doctor.

At least they didn’t put you up to stealing $8,000!

How am I going to explain this to Alice?

[Harry] Helen?

Oh, hello, Harry.

Helen, I was wondering maybe we could have dinner tonight, you know, down at Charlie’s.

No, Harry, I don’t think so--

-[crying] -Hey, don’t do that.

-Come on now, honey. -[sobs]

No reason to bawl. Cut it out.

Here.

What’s this?

Harry!

You did get the money!

Told you I’d get it. Didn’t I?

But how?

A couple of guys I know use a builder supply set-up as a front.

They wanted to make a fast killing.

So I told them I could get them $10,000 worth of lumber for eight.

When do you have to deliver the lumber?

I told ’em tomorrow.

But if you give me the money--

So what? So they don’t get it.

I can always stall ’em a couple of days.

Are you sure?

Would I kid you?

Look, these guys would be surprised if they get paid on time.

Oh... Harry, I don’t know what to say.

It’s all right. Don’t start thanking me.

Uh, will I see you tonight?

I don’t know. Maybe.

Staying home again tonight?

Yes.

Why don’t you...

change your mind...

come to the movies with Alice and me?

No, thanks.

See, I hate to see you...

sitting around here like this.

[Helen] Don’t worry about me.

Look, I know you’re upset. You haven’t heard from him for three days.

You’ll be late for the feature.

Can you tell me where I can find Mr. Wade?

-Harry Wade? -Yes.

Harry Wade hasn’t been here for months, lady.

Of course he has.

I was with him last Tuesday. We sat right over there.

Not in here, you didn’t.

I ought to know whether I’ve been in a place.

I’m sorry, lady, you must have been mistaken.

Harry hasn’t been here for... must be four months.

Just a minute. I was in here with him last Tuesday,

and we sat right here and had dinner.

Lady, I don’t know anything at all about Harry.

Nobody here does.

Look, why don’t I call you a cab, hmm?

Something happened to him?

Here. Why don’t you just sit here

and drink this while I get you a cab?

Can’t you tell me anything?

Lady, you just don’t fool around with guys in the racket.

Do you understand? You just don’t.

Racket?

Please...

Please, tell me.

Harry’s dead.

He took two other guys in the racket

for $8,000.

Don’t you get it?

Harry’s dead.

So much for our merry tale.

Now a stranger approacheth

to tell us what to do with those extra farthings.

I have finally finished Robin Hood’s Merry Adventures,

the revised edition.

The sheriff gets him in the last chapter.

Income tax evasion.

Until next week, goodnight.